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2020/11/07

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True Refuge: Finding Peace and Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart

by Tara Brach

How do you cope when facing life-threatening illness, family conflict, faltering relationships, old trauma, obsessive thinking, overwhelming emotion, or inevitable loss? If you’re like most people, chances are you react with fear and confusion, falling back on timeworn strategies: anger, self-judgment, and addictive behaviors. Though these old, conditioned attempts to control our life may offer fleeting relief, ultimately they leave us feeling isolated and mired in pain.

There is another way. Beneath the turbulence of our thoughts and emotions exists a profound stillness, a silent awareness capable of limitless love. Tara Brach, author of the award-winning Radical Acceptance, calls this awareness our true refuge, because it is available to every one of us, at any moment, no exceptions. In this book, Brach offers a practical guide to finding our inner sanctuary of peace and wisdom in the midst of difficulty.

Based on a fresh interpretation of the three classic Buddhist gateways to freedom—truth, love, and awareness—True Refuge shows us the way not just to heal our suffering, but also to cultivate our capacity for genuine happiness. Through spiritual teachings, guided meditations, and inspirational stories of people who discovered loving presence during times of great struggle, Brach invites us to connect more deeply with our own inner life, one another, and the world around us.

True Refuge is essential reading for anyone encountering hardship or crisis, anyone dedicated to a path of spiritual awakening. The book reminds us of our own innate intelligence and goodness, making possible an enduring trust in ourselves and our lives. We realize that what we seek is within us, and regardless of circumstances, “there is always a way to take refuge in a healing and liberating presence.”

Praise for True Refuge

“Drawing on the latest findings in neuroscience as well as ten more years of personal experience on the path of awakening, Tara Brach’s superb second book brings readers ever more deeply in touch with our true nature. This book is a precious gift, filled with insight, shared from heart to heart.”—Thich Nhat Hanh

“True Refuge is a magnificent work of heart. For anyone interested in developing a deeper understanding of the mind and how to improve the quality of their life, this book offers unique insights and easily learned practices that literally can transform your life’s path. Read, explore, and enjoy!”—Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., author of No-Drama Discipline

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Editorial Reviews

Review

“This is a special book, lovely, loving, wise, and helpful. It is like having a sage and caring friend sit with you, offering comfort, insight, and guidance for your own true journey home.”—Jack Kornfield, author of The Wise Heart

“A healing and helpful meditation . . . a gracefully written spiritual gem on awareness, refuge, and presence.”—Spirituality & Practice

“[A] richly detailed, hopeful book . . . This accomplished example of spiritual self-help offers a gentle path for change in the face of suffering.”—Publishers Weekly

“This book is an undertaking and one that can change your life if you embrace it. It is heartfelt and practical . . . full of grit, honesty, and clarity.”—Beliefnet

“Tara Brach writes from the heart to the heart. With candor and calmness, she shares her own and others’ struggles to overcome our deep and constant human dilemmas. Whenever I read Brach, I feel more peaceful and hopeful. I trust myself and the universe more. I feel more connected and grounded in what the Lakota Sioux call Wakan Tanka, The Great Mystery. True Refuge is itself a refuge and I thank the author for it.”—Mary Pipher, Ph.D., New York Times bestselling author of The Green Boat and Reviving Ophelia

“Tara Brach has done it again. True Refuge inspires the confidence needed to face our deepest, most difficult emotions. With tenderness and understanding, she teaches us the practical techniques that can help us loosen the grip of these emotions and arrive at a place of peace and basic goodness which is our essential nature. As more and more citizens learn and practice these techniques, it can begin a transformation that will allow a kinder, compassionate, and more mindful nation to emerge.”—Congressman Tim Ryan, author of A Mindful Nation

“There is something very special about this exquisitely written book—its clarity, beauty, simplicity, and humanity practically sing to you. Inspiring and uplifting to read, it also has eminently practical, implementable, step-by-step guidance to practice and live by. And the fifteen brief, powerful guided meditations offer an easy, gentle entry toward inner peace and wisdom. While turning the pages, I thought of a half dozen people who could really use this book as a friendly, loving reference point—myself included!”—Belleruth Naparstek, author of Invisible Heroes and creator of the Health Journeys guided imagery audio series

About the Author

Tara Brach, Ph.D., is the author of Radical Acceptance, winner of a Books for a Better Life Award. She is the founder of the Insight Meditation Community in Washington, D.C., and has conducted workshops across the country. She lives in Great Falls, Virginia, with her husband, her mother, and three dogs.

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Item Weight : 8.8 ounces

Paperback : 320 pages

Customer Reviews: 4.8 out of 5 stars 414 ratings

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Tara Brach

Biography

Tara Brach, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, an internationally known teacher of mindfulness meditation, and the founder of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington. She is author of bestselling Radical Acceptance, True Refuge, and Radical Compassion. She has contributed numerous articles to popular magazines and websites.

Tara is a frequent keynote speaker at conferences where she discusses the role of mindfulness in emotional healing and spiritual awakening. She leads accredited workshops for mental health professionals interested in integrating meditation into the practice of psychotherapy. Tara also offers meditation retreats at centers in the United States and in Europe.

Her podcasted talks and meditations are downloaded over 2 million times each month. In addition to her public teaching, Tara is active in bringing meditation into DC area schools, prisons and to underserved populations, and in activities that promote racial justice.

Customer reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars

4.8 out of 5

414 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Maria Regina Paiz

5.0 out of 5 stars For those of us starting on a spiritual path of mindfulness

Reviewed in the United States on September 8, 2017

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There are many worthwhile teachings in this book, which advocates a daily practice of meditation and mindfulness. Deriving knowledge from a background in Buddhism and yoga, and suffering from a debilitating, degenerative illness, Tara Brach teaches the value of finding a peaceful sanctuary inside our heart. She talks about her own struggles as well as those of her clients –all relatable to most human experience– and then suggests meditation exercises to help find that sacred space of serenity and wisdom inside. These practices do not interfere with any religious beliefs (or lack thereof); they are universal and profound, and stem from a foundation of pure love.

For those of us starting on a spiritual path of mindfulness, this book is one to read slowly, taking the time to actually follow the exercises and get into the action of keeping still. Namaste.

39 people found this helpful

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zunderzee

4.0 out of 5 stars Useful, engaging.....

Reviewed in the United States on May 14, 2014

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A sequel to her fine book "Radical Acceptance" that continues her practical discussion of mindfulness for our daily lives. In this book, Brach once again links the practice of mindfulness to psychotherapy and to her own personal sitting practice but this time she talks about her struggle with a degenerative connective tissue disease and her need to deal with the grieving for the loss of the physical things she can no longer do. I think this real-life issue takes mindfulness practice out of the concept/good idea stage and moves it into the "useful in daily life" mode. The discussion of "false refuges" I thought was very good and gave me some insight into how we can create all kinds of illusionary safe places for ourselves in our minds where we can avoid the pain of our lives. Many of the ways she described surprised me but I know are true.

On a side note, I am a Christian and the whole idea of "refuge" really echoed that idea from the Psalms and gave a useful new interpretation (e.g., Psalm 119:114 "You are my refuge and my shield"). Not sure most people would make the connection I did but it seems to be there to me.

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ReviewerMidwest LS

5.0 out of 5 stars Welcome the True Self

Reviewed in the United States on February 8, 2015

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Welcome this sense of self that Tara Brach is able to touch with us. One of the wonderful things about Tara Brach is her ability to know us through knowing herself, and what she's able to give to us in her advice and examples is how we all connect. There is light within if we open to it. But this is not a "spiritual" book in the sense of being vague or lofty, but a very "practical" book that is based in meditation practice and in being straight with ourselves. What I sense most is her welcoming us to be in touch with ourselves and accept and trust who we are. Unlike our Facebook self, this is the true self that grows and heals with our touching and knowing it. She is a fine writer and guide.

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Kindle Customer

5.0 out of 5 stars Insight on Insight

Reviewed in the United States on October 22, 2018

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I feel this book could serve both beginning and experienced students of Insight Meditation but more so for the latter. The author explains how one can take their meditation practice to a higher level and benefit by using clear language and examples from her patients and own personal experience. She brings into focus the pathway to a greater and more meaningful way of life.

5 people found this helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Magnificent

Reviewed in the United States on May 26, 2013

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First, a disclosure: I came across Brach's earlier book, Radical Acceptance, around 2010, and reading it was one of the major things that started me down a meditation path that has since taken me to some amazing places. I've since attended several silent meditation retreats taught by Brach and others. I've become fairly plugged into the Insight Meditation Community of Washington, which she started in the DC area some years ago. In short, I'm a big fan.

A fan, but no follower. Tara Brach has gotten a lot of good press (deserved) in the Washington Post lately and is becoming even more of a "star" in meditation circles, but in my experience that arises very much from the quality of her work and humanity, and not from any kind of "guru" status or pretense that she has all the answers. Indeed, much of her teaching style seems to focus on helping a person find what works for him/herself. Brach is all about keeping with the tradition of try for yourself and keep what is wholesome and works for you, and discard the rest.

And I think that approach affects what she writes in True Refuge and elsewhere. She shares what she has discovered for herself and what she has seen others discover. And what she shares is not so much "the answer" or even answers, but rather suggested ways that one can use to find what works for oneself.

I bought True Refuge when it first came out, and work and other stuff has only recently allowed me to complete my reading of it. I think True Refuge is a great book. Radical Acceptance for me was a very compassionate and "feeling" oriented book. This one, True Refuge, certainly has that, but to me seems a bit more systematic and practice oriented: a collection of many of her "best practices" and tips, some of them developed since her last book, all in one place. True Refuge is certainly a great stand-alone work, but once could hardly go wrong by reading both it and Radical Acceptance.

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Carla Herrmann

5.0 out of 5 stars Find your peace, find yourself

Reviewed in the United States on June 14, 2017

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Love this book and Tara Brach's writing; ideas I've been looking for in a format and with stories I can easily relate to. I've been using her meditations...love her voice as well. True Refuge is truly a way to find yourself and creating a calm and peace. I've never before meditated but she is now key to my learning. Highly recommend.

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Lisa Alter

5.0 out of 5 stars Another keeper from Tara Brach.

Reviewed in the United States on May 18, 2016

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Have read several of Tara Brach's books and this one is a definite keeper. It really made me think, pause, reflect and be aware. This is the type of book you will keep handy and reflect on certain pages, certain meditations and highlights. Tara seems to be able to get to the core without a lot of mumbo-jumbo. That is not to say that I didn't find myself re-reading some paragraphs to truly absorb the concept but I find she has an approachable style that is modern.

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Self-help junkie

5.0 out of 5 stars Wise, warm, compassionate, liberating.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 22, 2014

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I tried to read Tara's earlier book but got a bit bogged down in it. I'm getting on so much better with her new title (this one)! She writes from the heart and seems to have a real knack for putting her finger on so many of the issues that I (everyone?) struggles with as we try to live peaceful, fulfilling lives.

This is a book I shall return to many times, I know: on my first read I have restrained myself from highlighting key passages - I suspect that when I do go back to do this, the pages will be covered in yellow!

A really timely book for me. Hope it meets your needs too.

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Tamas

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 7, 2017

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Excellent book, as expected from an excellent teacher! All the teachings and stories feel real, as if you knew th people involved. I like Tara's videos and books and I am not disappointed with this one either. Thank you, Tara Brach!

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Dawne Kovan

5.0 out of 5 stars Simply A Classic

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 27, 2017

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A classic of Buddhist Mindfulness and Compassion - simply wonderful. To be read and re-read, each time finding something new to mull over.

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Julia

5.0 out of 5 stars Very deep

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 31, 2019

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Very inspirational book, deep insights, highly recommended

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True Refuge: Finding Peace and Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart

by Tara Brach (Goodreads Author)

4.10 · Rating details · 2,661 ratings · 137 reviews

Advance praise for True Refuge

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Tabitha

Mar 10, 2013Tabitha rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

I do not know how to review a book without being personal; reading, to me, is insanely personal. Tara Brach begins her book with the revelation that she has spent the past 20 years of her life trying to figure out the source of her chronic, physical pain, only to find out that the condition will be with her the rest of her life. While it did not take me 20 years, I did spend the last decade of my life knowing something was physically wrong with me and desperately trying to find doctors who would listen to me and be able to help (a combination most rare in my experience). And, like Ms Brach, my search resulted in a diagnosis of something that I will spend my life dealing with and being effected by. Truly, those first few pages of True Refuge strongly resonated with me. I understood her writings of longing to find something to take refugee within. Medical problems have a way of being constantly present, always impacting your life, what you can and cannot do. By the time I read this book, I was longing for something to bring comfort, longing for moments of peace, longing to accept what has been placed before me. Without being over-dramatic, I was able to find that within these pages. As with her other book, Tara Brach includes guided meditations at the end of each chapter. If done sincerely, with openness for what unfolds, these guided meditations really did provide me with moments of solace. For that precious gift, this book deserves more stars than I can give. (less)

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Richard Heckler

Jan 22, 2013Richard Heckler rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Reading Tara Brach's new book, True Refuge, is like sitting by a fireplace, listening and talking with a best friend. She writes calmly, intimately, from the inside out. Tara is able to describe the human predicament, our vulnerabilities and foibles, our fears and aspirations, with a respect and accuracy that emboldens us to acknowledge what’s true, and empowers us to begin the reflective work of creating a happier, richer life.

And, she has walked the walk, as you can hear in this video. I am so glad she has taken a bigger step into the public eye. Although one may not imagine it from watching her talks on you tube, or by visiting the webpage of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington DC, or by seeing how humble and personable she is, but Tara has become one of the great Buddhist teachers alive today. I highly recommend 'True Refuge' to…well, anyone, Buddhist or not. It’s a treasure, and will grow only more valuable as we age.

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Jeffrey

Dec 19, 2012Jeffrey rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

The second book by one of the foremost teachers of Buddhist meditation and thought in the West. Tara Brach is without peer in her ability to synthesize the ancient teachings of the Buddha with modern psychology. The clarity and compassion with which she shares her wisdom makes her writing accessible to all, including those with no prior knowledge of Buddhist teachings. The book is a must-read for anyone on a spiritual path. Highly recommended.

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Ayse_

Jun 26, 2017Ayse_ rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: reviews

Similar to the wisdom of Pema Chodron, one can find a soothing and encouraging friend in Tara Brach. When the going gets tough, when the breath becomes shallow, its best to take five and listen to what they are saying.. In this particular book, there are meditations that help you persevere and lead you to find your inner strenght. These mental exercises are less fun than grabbing a chocolate cake or a margharita but have zero calories and more refreshing in the long run :)

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Ellie

Mar 10, 2019Ellie rated it it was amazing

Shelves: spiritual, non-fiction, 2019indchal

Although I loved Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha even more, this book was still a 5-star read for me. The meditations are very helpful--really powerful and as in the case of of the first book I read her sharing of personal experience is both touching and encouraging. It also helps ground the practice and helped me to understand better what was happening during my own meditation. (less)

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Raya Sun

Jun 03, 2018Raya Sun rated it really liked it · review of another edition

An essential read, I'm sure I will refer to it often. I'm new to meditation and mindfulness and found this book very instructional in looking within for refuge.

Loving life no matter what, finding refuge within our own hearts and minds--right here, right now, moment to moment.

I appreciate the realistic and gentle tone of the book, as it also details how to deal with difficult emotions using RAIN. Compulsive thinking--with no resolution, going nowhere, in an endless loop, is also discussed.

The b ...more

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Robin

Jul 04, 2020Robin rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

True Refuge approaches meditation and mindfulness through a thoughtful emotional lens. On the contrary, the mindfulness approach that I was taught by a therapist instructed me to bring the focus of attention away from my mental ruminations to the present. I was meant to pay attention to sensory stimulation, like the breeze in the afternoon or the golden light of the hour just before the sun sets. In meditation, I was to let thoughts be. They were to come and go like cars at a stoplight while I focused on my breathing.

This practice was soothing during times of little to no stress, but when my mind was really lit up fear, grief, or sadness I felt weirdly uncomfortable when I tried to meditate. What if your present is horrible?

As I tried to breathe in calm and breath out tension, the tension would creep back up my nostrils like invisible smoke. The cars would come to the stoplight, but they wouldn't go. At the end of the meditation session it felt like my entire psyche was 50 car pile up.

Tara Brach is a licensed clinical psychologist as well as a practicing Buddhist. Her approach to mindfulness meditation is a little bit different. With patient anecdotes and quotes from Buddhist teaching, she writes about turning attention inward during difficult times. That very tension that you're trying so hard to breathe out can instead invite a mindful reflection on how you're feeling.

People tend to turn away from noxious stimulus. It's natural. It's harder to sit with our feelings when they are painful. A child burrowing under the covers to hide from the monster in the closet will certainly be afraid every night. Only shining a bright light in the closet helps her realize it's just clothes in there. Likewise, turning away from fear doesn't make it go away. Distraction, avoidance, using alcohol or medication may work in the short term but it doesn't resolve deeper feelings of pain and fear. On the contrary, repressing normal feelings can induce a type of numbness where where you can't feel much of anything at all, good or bad.

Tara Brach encourages the reader to peel off the spacesuit self - the armor we wear to protect our emotions from hurt by others - and bring honest attention to the difficulties we are feeling. By welcoming thoughts and feelings with kindness and allowing them to be expressed and experienced, we can work toward more a sense of perspective, compassion and insight.

Some of the examples in the book make this work seem a little bit easier than it is. At first I found the exercises incredibly difficult and uncomfortable. Turning toward fear or shame or anger is not intuitive. Using mindfulness as a way to gently connect with my physical pain and emotional pain, I began to feel calm again. I had not realized how disconnected from myself I had become, or how hard I had worked on avoiding pain.

Now, I am able to lie still sometimes in the quiet. Before I had to have a radio on or something else to distract me from my own thoughts and my illness. Again I am starting to feel at home in my own body and mind. I can even focus on the sensory kind of mindfulness sometimes.

True Refuge is more reminiscent of therapy work than wellness or self-help work. Many of the exercises involve a sort of cognitive behavior therapy based on the recognition of emotions, reflection and analysis, and self nurturing. I have used this technique over and over again and have found it incredibly helpful. (less)

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Larry Smith

Feb 08, 2015Larry Smith rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Recommends it for: adults, college students, interfaith communities

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Colette

Feb 20, 2013Colette added it · review of another edition

Can already tell this is a powerful, honest, just awesome book. I sense i will be dottig it with post-it's as I did her previous book, highly recommended: Radical Acceptance.

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Jill

Jul 10, 2020Jill rated it it was amazing

“We weigh down our lives with memories of what used to be and fears of what we have yet to lose. We make music with what we have left.”

At the risk of being hyperbolic, I think this book may have changed my life. It’s not really new information to me (mindfulness is big focus), but way it was presented really resonated with me and among other things, gives me fresh motivation and approach to meditation practice I struggle with. Found myself taking lots of notes and jotting things down. Lots of examples drawn from Buddhism, so I guess if that’s not your cup of tea might be sorta off putting? (less)

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Alicia

Jul 18, 2020Alicia rated it really liked it

“The great gift of a spiritual path is coming to trust that you can find a way to true refuge. You realize that you can start right where you are, in the midst of your life, and find peace in any circumstance. Even at those moments when the ground shakes terribly beneath you—when there’s a loss that will alter your life forever—you can still trust that you will find your way home. This is possible because you’ve touched the timeless love and awareness that are intrinsic to who you are.”

“The only way to live is by accepting each minute as an unrepeatable miracle.”

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Lisa

Sep 05, 2019Lisa rated it liked it

Shelves: 2019-books-read, mindfulness

My first time completing a book on mindfulness and meditation - listened to as an Audible. The introduction grabbed me, being familiar with chronic pain, and I did find refuge in knowing that it is possible to find other ways to cope with the emotional and physical strain of such a condition. Brach does an excellent job detailing practical practices for such challenges in life. Her focus was more on the psychological aspects, and I would have found it to be a better book with some attention paid to the physical aspects.

I was frustrated with the real life examples that she gave of sessions with clients and the outcome. After YEARS of emotional dysfunction and anxiety, the book portrayed using RAIN as a rather miraculous solution to some issues that had been with many of her clients since childhood. This, combined with some of the less tangible concepts that were difficult to grasp garnered a drop from 3.75 to 3 stars. (less)

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Nakeesha

Jan 10, 2013Nakeesha rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Its going to take me a minute to read this book -and that's a compliment. Every time I start picking up speed Brach writes something that stops me in my tracks and forces me to stop, backtrack, reread and then live her advice for a couple of days. Then I go back and reread, move forward a little bit, start picking up speed and the process repeats itself. I have a shelf of Buddhist texts, but its Brach that always breaks the information down so sensibly. My favorite parts are when she's giving anecdotal bits about her life and her path-journey. It wasn't a perfect journey. She tells you all her bumps in the road, the times she was mean and selfish. At one point I gasped out loud and said, no you didn't Tara Brach! But she did and in each memory she's teaching you. Its truly a living text.

ARC provided by Net Galley (less)

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T.Kay Browning

Mar 07, 2014T.Kay Browning rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

What I really loved about this book is that I've been listening to/reading Tara Brach for over a year now, one book and a couple dozen podcast episodes and not once did I know that she was diagnosed with a degenerative genetic disease that is slowly making her life ever more painful. She doesn't focus on that to get sympathy or to show strength, but she does bring it out and explore it deeply in this one book in order to relate to those who are experiencing deep sorrow in their lives. She continues to pull out meaning from darkness, never giving simple answers and acknowledging pain in really meaningful ways. (less)

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Melissa

Jul 29, 2013Melissa rated it liked it · review of another edition

Brach writes of her own frustration with a rare disease that causes pain everywhere in her body and has hindered her once active lifestyle, and how meditation has helped. She also describes how she teaches meditation to those who come to her for guidance in handling difficult events in their lives. Author gives a lot of interesting meditation coping skills, but at times it drifts off into 'hippie talk'.

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Jennifer Louden

Apr 18, 2013Jennifer Louden rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

She is one of my favorite Buddhist authors. While this book didn't rock my world like Radical Acceptance, I still found it a sweet rich visit to freedom. If you haven't read or listened to Tara, get that remedied today!

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Tarn Wilson

Feb 24, 2016Tarn Wilson rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Loved it. As soon as I finished, I started it over again. I read in little bites, food for each day.

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Laurence White

Jan 10, 2019Laurence White rated it it was ok

I really want to talk with Tara Brach about diet culture and body liberation. I think she’s missing some information in the way she speaks about people in bigger bodies.

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Teo 2050

Feb 08, 2019Teo 2050 rated it really liked it

Shelves: _audio, meditation, dissonance, perception, _contents, _nonfiction, by_psychologist, harmonization, rated-4, y2019

2019.01.14–2019.01.21

Contents

Brach T (2013) (12:01) True Refuge - Finding Peace and Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart

Prologue: “Loving Life No Matter What”

Part I: Our Search for Refuge

01. Winds of Homecoming

• Our Cry for Help

• Coming Home to Loving Presence

• Learning to Trust the Waves

• Natural Presence: Wakeful, Open, and Tender

• Coming Back to Presence

• Guided Meditation: A Pause for Presence

02. Leaving Home: The Trance of Small Self

• Natural Presence: Wakeful, Open, and Tender

• The Perfection Project Collapses

• Space-Suit Self Is Small Self

• Awakening from Trance

• Trance and Awakening Are Both Natural

• Guided Meditation: Lovingkindness: Being Kind to Yourself

03. Meditation: The Path to Presence

• Training Your Mind

• • Remembering What Matters

• • Cultivating a Wise Attitude

• • Creating Time and Space to Practice

• • Sustaining Your Practice

• Off the Cushion: Meditation Training and Daily Life

• Trusting Your Heart and Awareness

• Guided Meditation: Coming Back

• Guided Meditation: Being Here

04. Three Gateways to Refuge

• The Gateway of Truth

• • Meditation: Awakening to Truth

• • Ethics: Living Aligned with Truth

• • Teachings on Truth: Accepting What Is Real

• The Gateway of Love

• The Gateway of Awareness

• Start Where You Are

• Guided Reflection: Remembering the Most Important Thing

Part II: The Gateway of Truth

05. RAIN: Cultivating Mindfulness in Difficult Times

• Recognize What Is Happening

• Allow Life to Be Just as It Is

• Investigate with Kindness

• Non-identification: Rest in Natural Awareness

• Applying RAIN to Blame

• Guidelines for Practicing with RAIN

• • Give Yourself the Support of a Regular Meditation Practice

• • Cultivate Flexibility

• • Practice with the “Small Stuff”

• • Seek Help

• • Let Your Senses Be a Gateway to Presence

• • Be Mindful of Doubt

• • Be Patient

• • Be Sincere

• Guided Reflection: Bringing RAIN to Difficulty

• • R: Recognize What Is Happening

• • A: Allow Life to Be Just as It Is

• • I: Investigate with an Intimate Attention

• • N: Non-identification: Rest in Natural Awareness

• Guided Reflection: A Light RAIN: Practicing “On the Spot”

06. Awakening to the Life of the Body

• Our Chain of Reactivity

• Touching the Ground

• Entering the Body

• If It Feels Like Too Much

• Recognizing Unlived Life

• Coming Alive Through the Body

• Planting Ourselves in the Universe

• Guided Reflection: Bringing RAIN to Pain

• Guided Reflection: The Buddha’s Smile

07. Possessed by the Mind: The Prison of Obsessive Thinking

• “Lost in Thought”

• Compulsive Thinking Is a False Refuge

• Strangled by Obsession

• In the Grip of Emotion

• Bringing RAIN to Obsessive Thinking

• Real but Not True

• Guided Reflection: My Top-Ten Hits

• Guided Reflection: Bringing RAIN to Obsession

08. Investigating Core Beliefs

• Suffering: The Call to Investigate Beliefs

• The Portal of Addiction

• Why Core Beliefs Are So Powerful

• In the Grip of Fear-Beliefs

• Our Beliefs Become Our Destiny—Unless We See Them

• Into the Black Hole

• The Power of Inquiry

• • “What am I believing?”

• • “Is this really true?”

• • “What is it like to live with this belief?”

• • “What stops me from letting go of this belief?”

• • “What would my life be like without this belief?”

• • “Who (or what) would I be if I no longer lived with this belief?”

• Living Beyond Beliefs

• Refuge in Truth

• Guided Reflection: Beliefs Inventory

• Guided Reflection: Catching Beliefs on the Fly

Part III: The Gateway of Love

09. Heart Medicine for Traumatic Fear

• The Legacy of Trauma

• Understanding Trauma

• Taking Refuge in Love

• The Need for New Resources

• Cultivating an Inner Refuge

• “I’m Trusting My Soul”

• Fierce Grace: Becoming Who We Are

• Guided Meditation: Lovingkindness: Receiving Love

• Guided Meditation: Tonglen: A Healing Presence with Fear

10. Self-Compassion: Releasing the Second Arrow

• Addicted to Self-Blame

• “It’s not your fault … really.”

• Releasing the Second Arrow

• Seeing Beyond Our Faults

• A Parent’s Heart

• When We’ve Caused Harm

• The Urge to Make Amends

• Guided Reflection: Self-Forgiveness Scan

• Guided Reflection: Ending the War with Yourself

11. The Courage to Forgive

• Which Wolf Will You Feed?

• Understanding Forgiveness

• RAIN with Anger

• Widening Circles of Compassion

• How Would a Buddha Respond?

• Forgiveness Is Not Passivity

• A Shattered Heart

• The Freedom of a Forgiving Heart

• Guided Meditation: A Forgiving Heart Toward Others

• • Asking for Forgiveness

• • Forgiving Ourselves

• • Forgiving Others

12. Holding Hands: Living Compassion

• Creating Separation: Self and Other

• Seeing Past the Mask

• The “Other” Is Part of Us

• Compassion Can be Cultivated

• Breathing In: “Ear of the Heart”

• Speaking and Receiving Difficult Truths

• Breathing Out: Offering Our Care

• Offering Blessings

• Guided Meditation: Tonglen: Awakening the Heart of Compassion

• Guided Meditation: Lovingkindness: Seeing Past the Mask

13. Losing What We Love: The Pain of Separation

• The Community of Loss

• Defending Against Loss

• The Armor of Blame

• The Second Arrow: Self-Blame

• The Struggle to Be Good

• Face-to-Face with the Controller

• Deepening Surrender

• Ungrieved Loss

• “Please Love Me”

• Seeing Past the Veils

• • Guided Reflection: Prayer in the Face of Difficulty

Part IV: The Gateway of Awareness

14. Refuge in Awareness

• Through the Reducing Valve

• Trusting Who We Are

• Remembering to Stop

• Learning to Unhook: Training in Open Awareness

• Exploring Inner Space

• The Backward Step

• The Three Qualities of Awareness

• Becoming a Child of Wonder

• Guided Reflection: Exploring Inner Space

• Guided Reflection: Who Am I?

• Guided Reflection: Taking the Backward Step

15. A Heart That Is Ready for Anything

• Permission to Love Life

• Happy for No Reason

• Emptiness Dancing

• A Heart That Is Ready for Anything

• Guided Reflection: Prayer of Aspiration

• Guided Reflection: Finding True Refuge

Acknowledgments

Permissions

Resources

About the Author (less)

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Elyse

Mar 03, 2019Elyse rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

I love how this book touches on such a huge scope of meditation practice - from very concrete daily practice - to deep philosophy about the nature of the universe and what we are. I find it encouraging and I appreciate Brach's vulnerability and openness.

The narrator's voice was lovely and fit so well with the subject matter. However, part of me wishes I had this book on paper so I could highlight and refer back to certain sections more easily. But still this was encouraging and sweet to listen to. (less)

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Julianne Bigler

Nov 30, 2019Julianne Bigler rated it it was amazing

Shelves: favorites, personal-growth

The most essential book I’ve ever read.

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Moira Shepard

Jul 09, 2017Moira Shepard rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

This gracefully written book was so beautiful and illuminating I didn't want it to end. Guess I'll just have to read it again. Will undoubtedly get even more out of it on a second reading - it's deep! Cannot recommend it highly enough to anyone who wants to gain deeper self-knowledge and self-acceptance.

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Tharshalah

Apr 24, 2019Tharshalah rated it it was amazing

What a great read, definitely soul food. I truly enjoyed reading it. This book is very well written, with so much depth on finding fulfillment and living with intent and acceptance amidst the highs and lows in life.

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Mary

Aug 26, 2018Mary rated it really liked it

Shelves: read-in-2018

This is a better book than Radical Acceptance. The concept of RAIN is better explained and more developed. There are several chapters in this book that do a good job of explaining mindfulness, meditation, and RAIN.

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Nooshin Navidi

Jun 04, 2015Nooshin Navidi rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

I discovered Tara Brach through her first book, 'Radical Acceptance', a few years ago while going through a very difficult personal time. It became my constant companion as I navigated the many stages of a painful & nonlinear process. I loved the audio version & have since listened to it & accompanying meditations many times. I find her teaching style incredibly helpful, and it's much enhanced by her gentle voice, approach, and delivery, which to me are as healing as the content of her teachings.

Brach's teachings are not founded in any given religion or belief system. In fact one of the things I love & appreciate most about her & her teachings is that she draws from a wide range of traditions, cultures, authors, news pieces, psychological & social studies & insights, religious leaders & activists & much more, all delivered in her characteristic gentleness & wisdom.

In her weekly teaching talks (available for free online & via podcast) which I discovered at the same time as her book, she interweaves quotes, stories, meditations, articles, humor with personal anecdotes. I also love that she is a psychologist and practicing therapist herself, with a deep understanding of the human psyche.

I highly recommend both her books, 'Radical Acceptance' and 'True Refuge' (read in that order), as well as her Wednesday night teaching talks & meditations(archives available at www.tarabrach.com). I listen to the talks almost nightly before going to sleep, and get as much benefit from them now as I did a few years ago when I first discovered them. True Refuge has become my #1 go-to book for dealing with life's challenges. (less)

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Tien Pham

Dec 24, 2013Tien Pham rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: spirituality, mindfulness, compassion

With the her wisdom and kindness, the author shows us how to directly face our emotional discomfort in order to heal ourselves and move forward. She shows us that when we run away from whatever bother us through false refuges such as materialism, endless TV and internet, or being busy, we perpetuate the problems and continue to make ourselves suffer. Instead, Brach explains that only by seeing the problems directly and experience them through our body that we can truly thrive and feel connected to ourselves and others.The meditations she provided are very practical and easy to implement. With most of them, I can feel the effects the first time I tried them out, such the RAIN or Buddha's Smile meditations.

I particularly like that beside being a spiritual teacher, Tara Brach is also a clinical psychologists. This means aside from offering wisdom and guidance, Brach includes many real life examples of her patients. The stories of their struggles and healing are very inspirational and greatly illustrates the concept the author talks about.

This wonderful book completely changes the way I treat myself and my difficult emotions, which surface quite often throughout the day. Before, I often tried to push discomfort out of my awareness through suppressing or distracting. While this might give me temporary relief, the problems persist and each time they come back, the emotional and mental damages they inflict become progressively greater. (less)

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Mark Goodman

Jul 04, 2013Mark Goodman rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

What an amazing book. This is a book I recommend highly and know I will be revisiting again and again for its wisdom, depth and heart. Tara Brach describes the landscape and journey of a mindfulness practice with so much aliveness and so much love. There are many ways that mindfulness practice can be described but I feel so inspired and drawn to the way Tara frames this practice, as a courageous and sometimes painful breaking open of the heart, as, indeed, a path toward more and more spacious love. And she does thus with beautiful and inspiring stories of her students and her clients as well as very human and vulnerable sharing of her own struggles and suffering. In short, I love this book and think it has and will continue to deepen my capacity for an open-hearted life. (less)

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Nicole Cleary

May 04, 2015Nicole Cleary rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Books that make me tear up from time to time with poignant stories of the human condition leave me feeling "tenderized" and in touch with my own heart. This is one of those books. Tara Brach is a well known Buddhist teacher, but the practices and vignettes in this book are accessible to anyone. Because Tara is a practicing psychologist, there are many stories of her clients' experiences and this makes the book really come alive. Tara is a gifted teacher, and her warmth and her own struggles comes through these pages. I have not yet found reliable peace and freedom in my own awakened heart, but the experience of reading this book has given me a vision of what that could look like. (less)

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Don Smith

Jun 19, 2017Don Smith rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Everything by this brilliant psychologist/teacher is so full of insight, wisdom, love and intelligence. And it is useful. If you like her podcasts, and you will if you hear them, then know that the books cover the same territory- how to open one's heart, how to forgive, and how to heal. The world is a much better place because of Tara Brach.

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삶에서 깨어나기 - 길들여진 삶에서 벗어나 온전한 나로
타라 브랙 (지은이),윤서인 (옮긴이)불광출판사2014-02-05원제 : True Refuge (2013년)

미리보기

정가
20,000원
판매가
18,000원 (10%, 2,000원 할인)

9.6 100자평(3)리뷰(9)

기본정보

475쪽

책소개
<받아들임>의 저자 타라 브랙이 전하는 두 번째 치유 메시지. 우리 주변의 누구나 겪는 그런 삶의 고난을 이야기하고 있다. 고난 앞에서 많은 사람들은 두려움에 사로잡히거나, 분노하거나, 자기비난에 빠지거나, 술이나 음식에 의존하며 괴로움에서 도망친다. 하지만 이런 행동들은 ‘그릇된 귀의처’로 잠깐의 위안이 될 뿐, 결국 더 큰 괴로움을 불러온다.

타라 브랙은 말한다, ‘삶이 고통스럽다는 것은 사실이지만 진실은 아니’라고. 고통만 바라보고 고통에 빠져 고통에 매몰되지 말고, 내면의 참된 자신을 믿으며 우리가 살고 있는 이 순간의 삶 그 자체에 깨어있으라고 한다. 삶의 고통을 피할 수 있는 방법은 어디에도 없다. 그러나 고통에 대처하는 방법은 선택할 수 있다.

목차

들어가는 말: 삶을 있는 그대로 사랑하기를 21

1부. 귀의처를 찾아서 29
1장. 귀향의 바람 31
2장. 고향을 떠나: 작은 자아의 미망 51
3장. 명상: 현존에 이르는 길 71
4장. 귀의처로 통하는 문 97

2부. 진리의 문 117
5장. RAIN: 고통스러운 순간의 마음챙김 119
6장. 몸의 경험 145
7장. 마음의 감옥: 강박적 사고 175
8장. 핵심 믿음 205

3부. 사랑의 문 239
9장. 트라우마를 치유하는 마음 241
10장. 자기연민 : 두 번째 화살을 피하라 281
11장. 용서하는 용기 313
12장. 손에 손을 잡고: 살아 있는 연민 345
13장. 사랑하는 것과의 이별: 분리의 고통 383

4부. 자각의 문 417
14장. 자각에 귀의하다 419
15장. 모든 것에 준비된 마음 451

감사의 말 471
인용문 출처 473
참고자료 477

▶ 상담 사례

1장. “죽어가는 남편에게 도움이 되지 못할까 두려워요.” .......... 31쪽
- 임종에 이른 남편을 간병하며: 팜의 이야기
“남편이 밉고 미래가 두려워요.” .......... 39쪽
- 이혼의 다툼과 혼란 속에서: 타라의 이야기
2장. “착하고 완벽한 사람이 되면 행복해질 수 있을 거야.” .......... 53쪽
- 자기혐오에서 벗어나려는 안타까운 노력: 타라의 이야기
3장. “우리 사랑은 이제 식었어.” .......... 71쪽
- 소통하지 못하는 부부의 갈등: 제프의 이야기
“아이 때문에 엉망이 되었어.” .......... 82쪽
- 육아로 지친 엄마의 괴로움: 타라의 이야기
4장. “직장에서 숨이 막혀요.” .......... 100쪽
- 일터의 스트레스에 지친 사람: 테렌스의 이야기
“난 문제없어. 당신만 달라지면 돼.” .......... 104쪽
- 끊임없이 상대를 바꾸려던 20년의 결혼 생활: 폴의 이야기
5장. “우리 가족은 결점투성이야.” .......... 125쪽
- 서로 비판하고 불평을 늘어놓는 가족: 타라의 이야기
6장. “엄마는 날 사랑하지 않아.” .......... 145쪽
- 사랑받지 못해 굳어버린 마음: 제인의 이야기
7장. “잘하지 못할까 두려워.” .......... 187쪽
- 성적 무능에 대한 공포와 강박적 생각: 짐의 이야기
8장. “난 강해야만 해.” .......... 208쪽
- 잘나가는 로비스트의 숨겨진 알코올 중독과 마약 중독: 제이슨의 이야기
9장. “너무 두려워서 온몸이 얼어붙어요.” .......... 243쪽
- 어린 시절 성폭행으로 인한 트라우마: 데이나의 이야기
10장. “이렇게 돼버린 나 자신이 혐오스러워요.” .......... 283쪽
- 통제하지 못하고 터져 나오는 분노: 샘의 이야기
“난 누구도 사랑할 자격이 없어.” .......... 294쪽
- 가족과 소통하지 못하는 괴로움: 마지의 이야기
11장. “아무도 날 사랑하지 않아.” .......... 316쪽
- 사랑받지 못한 어린 시절의 상처: 에이미의 이야기
“늘 비난하는 상사가 두려워요.” .......... 329쪽
- 직장에서 벌어지는 갈등: 죠슈아의 이야기
“죄 없는 내 아이들이 죽었어요.” .......... 336쪽
- 사랑하는 자녀를 연달아 잃은 극심한 슬픔: 솔대드의 이야기
12장. “빅터는 우리와 달라. 장애가 있잖아.” .......... 347쪽
- 눈앞에 있지만 존재하지 않는 타인: 낸시의 이야기
“겉모습이 중요해.” .......... 349쪽
- 가면 뒤에 숨겨진 참모습: 폴의 이야기
“모두 내 말을 들어야 해. 난 중요한 사람이야.” .......... 357쪽
- 자기 이야기에만 몰두하는 수다스러움 너머의 이야기: 오드리의 이야기
“나는 모자라고 부족한 흑인이야.” .......... 364쪽
- 삶을 짓누르는 인종적 열등감: 리치의 이야기
13장. “당신 때문이야. 당신이 나를 실망시켰어.” .......... 387쪽
- 주변 사람을 비난하며 억누르는 슬픔: 루이즈의 이야기
“하느님이 나를 배신했어요. 왜 그녀를 데려가나요?” .......... 388쪽
- 사랑하는 이와 사별한 슬픔에 폭발하는 분노: 저스틴의 이야기
“두려워하고 외로워하는 모습을 보이기 싫어요.” .......... 393쪽
- 모든 것을 무너뜨리는 암 투병: 줄리아의 이야기
14장. “나는 특별해. 이런 허드렛일은 못해.” .......... 426쪽
- 자아팽창과 우월감: 타라의 이야기
15장. “좋은 일을 하는 단체에서 일하면서 어떻게 나쁜 짓을 할 수 있나요?” .......... 458쪽
- 이상과 현실의 충돌로 인한 실망: 마리의 이야기

접기

책속에서

P. 34 팜이 깨닫고 있었듯이, 삶을 통제하려고 아무리 애써도 우리는 변화와 상실과 죽음이라는 근본적인 현실을 통제하지는 못한다. 영원하지 않은 이 세상은 불안정할 수밖에 없다. 그래서 우리는 참된 귀의처를 간절히 원한다. “도와주세요! 내가 안전하고 보호받고 사랑받고 평화롭기를. 나의 삶이 편안하기를 원합니다.”
P. 37~38 강렬한 감정에 사로잡힐 때 팜은 잠깐 멈춰서 내면을 들여다보며 지금 일어나고 있는 일을 알아차렸다고 했다. 두려움과 무력감으로 가슴이 조여들 때는 그 느낌을 있는 그대로 경험하면서 자신이 매우 약하다는 사실을 인정했다. ‘뭐든 해야 한다’는 충동이 솟구쳐서 안절부절못할 때면 그 충동을 알아차리고 가만히 앉아서 그 충동이 오고가는 ... 더보기

P. 52 우주복이 감옥으로 변해서 우리를 가둘 때 그러하다. 우주복의 행위와 강점과 약점이 점차 우리의 정체성을 규정한다. 우리는 자신의 문제해결 능력이나 소통 능력을 자기 자신과 동일시한다. 자신의 판단과 강박관념, 불안과 분노를 자신과 동일시한다. ‘동일시한다’는 말은 우주복이 곧 ‘나’라고 믿는다는 뜻이다. 우리의 눈에는 불안해하고 ... 더보기

P. 58 우리의 자기 대화가 이 거짓 자아를 지속시킨다. 우리는 머릿속에서 종알거리는 목소리가 바로 자기 자신이라고 믿는다. 그 대화 속에서 ‘나’로 등장하는 인물이 바로 자기 자신이라고 믿는다. ‘저 바깥’ 세상에 대한 자신의 견해가 바로 진실이라고 믿는다. 직장 동료와 가족과 친구들이 지나치게 많은 것을 요구해서 당신의 삶은 정신없이 ... 더보기

P. 89 명상은 우리를 더 착한 사람이나 다른 사람으로 바꿔놓지 않으며 어떤 특별한 곳으로 데려가지도 않는다. 우리는 영적 성취를 향해 페달을 밟고 있는 것이 아니다. 명상은 행동을 통제하는 습관과 편협한 고정관념을 내려놓고 습관적인 육체적 긴장과 방어적인 대응을 내려놓게 해준다. 궁극적으로는, 두려워하는 작은 자아와의 동일시를 내려놓게 ... 더보기

추천글

대단히 특별한 책. 다정하고 사랑스럽고 유용하며 지혜로운 책. 현명하고 자애로운 친구가 바로 옆에 앉아 나를 위로하며 내가 참된 본성으로 돌아가게 조언해주고 이끌어주는 느낌이다.

- 잭 콘필드 (작가, 심리학자)

타라 브랙은 자애로운 열린 마음으로 글을 쓰고 가르친다. 누구든지 자신과, 그리고 타인과 오래도록 진정으로 교류할 능력을 갖고 있음을 되새겨준다. 명상을 일상화하기 위해 타라 브랙은 간단하고도 심오하고 누구든 쉽게 익힐 수 있는 다양한 기법을 소개한다.

- 샤론 샐즈버그 (명상 지도자, 『하루 20분 나를 멈추는 시간』 저자)

이 탁월한 책은 최신 신경과학 연구는 물론이고 깨달음의 길에서 겪은 10년 이상의 경험을 바탕으로 독자가 자신의 참된 본성을 훨씬 더 깊이 만날 수 있게 안내한다. 놀라운 통찰로 가득한 『삶에서 깨어나기』는 타라 브랙이 진심을 다해 전하는 귀중한 선물이다.

- 틱낫한 (승려, 명상가, 평화운동가, 시인)

이 심오하고도 시기적절한 책에는 저자 자신의 고통과 상실에 대한 진솔한 고백과 무수한 상담 경험에서 비롯된 실질적인 조언이 가득하다. 몸과 마음에 대한 깊은 이해에 관조적인 지혜가 더해진 『삶에서 깨어나기』는 당신이 내면의 안식처에 이르러 힘과 평화와 치유를 얻게 도와줄 것이다.

- 릭 핸슨 (신경심리학자, 『행복 뇌 접속』 <붓다 브레인> 저자)

저자 및 역자소개
타라 브랙 (Brach, Tara) (지은이)
저자파일
최고의 작품 투표
신간알림 신청

미국의 저명한 위빠사나 명상가이자 임상심리학자이다. 워싱턴 D.C. 통찰 명상회의 설립자이자 책임 교사이다.
스피릿 록 명상 센터, 오메가 인스티튜트, 크리팔루 센터, 스미스소니언 인스티튜트 등 미국 전역의 명상 센터에서 명상을 가르치고 있다. 또한 정신 건강 전문가들을 대상으로 수많은 강의를 하고 워크숍을 이끌고 있다.
120년 전통의 세계적인 영성 잡지인 <왓킨스(Watkins)>지는 교황 프란치스코(Francis), 달라이 라마(Dalai Lama), 데스몬드 투투(Desmond Tutu) 등과 함께 최근 매해 그녀를 ... 더보기

최근작 : <끌어안음>,<호흡하세요 그리고 미소지으세요>,<자기 돌봄> … 총 40종 (모두보기)

윤서인 (옮긴이)
저자파일
최고의 작품 투표
신간알림 신청

대학에서 심리학을 전공했고, 현재 전문 번역가로 활동하고 있다. 우리말로 옮긴 책으로는 『공간의 위로』, 『내가 어떻게 나를 도울 수 있을까』, 『조화로움』,『같이 일하고 싶은 여자』, 『분노를 다스리는 붓다의 가르침』,『지불된 어텐션』들이 있다.

최근작 : … 총 14종 (모두보기)

출판사 소개
불광출판사
출판사 페이지
신간알림 신청

최근작 : <붓다 한 말씀 (큰글자책)>,<집으로 가는 길은 어디서라도 멀지 않다 (큰글자책)>,<명상가 붓다의 삶>등 총 437종
대표분야 : 불교 1위 (브랜드 지수 314,996점)

출판사 제공 책소개
<받아들임>의 저자 타라 브랙이 전하는 두 번째 치유 메시지
- 마음 치유를 위한, 서양 심리학과 동양 명상의 실용적 융합

아마존 베스트셀러 <받아들임(Radical Acceptance)>의 저자인 타라 브랙(Tara Brach)이 10년 만에 선보이는 두 번째 치유 메시지가 <삶에서 깨어나기(True Refuge)>이다. 30여 년이 넘는 세월 동안 위빠사나 명상가이자 임상심리학자로서 수많은 사람들을 도우며 살아온 타라 브랙의 경험의 결정체가 이 책에 담겨 있다.
오랜 명상 경험뿐만 아니라 임상심리학자로서 상담 현장의 경험도 풍부한 타라 브랙의 첫 번째 저서 <받아들임>은 사람들을 괴롭히는 ‘무가치감’의 미망에서 벗어나 자기 자신에 대한 사랑을 회복하는 과정과 방법을 보여주었고, 많은 사람들에게 희망과 용기를 주었다. 그 후 10년 만에 출간된 두 번째 저서 <삶에서 깨어나기>는 타라 브랙 자신의 실존적 고뇌와 20여 년 동안 싸워온 불치의 유전병, 지인들이 겪은 삶의 역경 속에서 탄생하였고, 출간 즉시 아마존 종합 베스트 300위 안에 들 정도로 세인의 주목을 받았다. <삶에서 깨어나기>는 한두 가지의 심리적 문제에만 초점을 맞추지 않고 누구나 겪게 되는 삶의 괴로움의 정체를 근원적으로 파헤치며 그 괴로움 너머 깨어있는 마음이 주는 평화와 자유에 도달하는 길을 안내하고 있다.

삶에서 깨어난다는 건 나 자신을 믿는다는 것,
나를 믿고 산다는 건 얼마나 큰 축복인가!

이 책 『삶에서 깨어나기』는 우리 주변의 누구나 겪는 그런 삶의 고난을 이야기하고 있다. 임종을 앞둔 남편을 간병하는 아내, 갈등하는 부부, 육아로 지친 엄마, 암 투병의 외로움과 고통, 사랑받지 못한 어린 시절의 상처로 괴로워하는 사람들, 알코올 중독, 성적 무능에 대한 공포, 직장에서 겪는 스트레스, 서로 불평하고 비난하는 가족, 끊임없는 자기혐오, 통제되지 않고 폭발하는 분노, 사랑하는 사람을 잃은 슬픔, 소통하지 못하는 수다, 이상과 현실의 괴리, 직업과 외모로 인한 차별과 열등감 ……. 누구도 피할 수 없는 삶의 고난과 역경의 이야기들이다. 이런 고난 앞에서 많은 사람들은 두려움에 사로잡히거나, 분노하거나, 자기비난에 빠지거나, 술이나 음식에 의존하며 괴로움에서 도망친다. 하지만 이런 행동들은 ‘그릇된 귀의처’로 잠깐의 위안이 될 뿐, 결국 더 큰 괴로움을 불러온다.
타라 브랙은 말한다, ‘삶이 고통스럽다는 것은 사실이지만 진실은 아니’라고. 고통만 바라보고 고통에 빠져 고통에 매몰되지 말고, 내면의 참된 자신을 믿으며 우리가 살고 있는 이 순간의 삶 그 자체에 깨어있으라고 한다. 삶의 고통을 피할 수 있는 방법은 어디에도 없다. 그러나 고통에 대처하는 방법은 선택할 수 있다. 이 책은 불치의 유전병으로 투병하고 있는 타라 브랙 자신의 이야기뿐만 아니라 그녀의 내담자, 수련생, 지인들이 실제로 겪은 다양한 이야기를 통해서 현실을 있는 그대로 알아차리며 받아들이지 않고 ‘그릇된 귀의처’로 도피하려는 마음의 메커니즘을 밝혀내고 그로부터 벗어나는 여러 가지 명상법과 성찰법을 소개하고 있다. 매 장의 말미에 소개되는 다양한 명상법과 성찰법에는 전통적인 수행법도 있지만, ‘내적 공간 탐험하기’와 같은 현대 신경학의 연구에 기반을 둔 새로운 명상법도 포함되어 있다.
이 책 『삶에서 깨어나기』는 우리의 선하고 지혜로운 본성을 상기시키며 우리 자신과 자신의 삶을 항상 신뢰할 수 있게 하며, 우리의 괴로움을 근본적으로 치유하고 진정으로 행복해지는 법을 알려준다. 크나큰 고통을 견뎌내고 일어선 사람들의 감동적인 치유 이야기와 구체적인 명상법을 통해 우리가 찾고 있는 모든 것이 우리 내면에 이미 있으며 ‘아무리 힘겨운 상황에서도 치유와 자유’에 도달할 수 있음을 일깨워준다.
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공감순

삶을 있는 그대로 사랑하는 법, 자각 진리 사랑이라는 내면의 귀의처에 이르는 법, 다양한 상담 사례들과 명상기법이 상세하게 소개되어 있어요. 강추

flower 2014-03-06 공감 (0) 댓글 (0)
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공감

찬찬히 읽어보고 싶은 책. 타라브랙의 글이 울림이 있는 건 경험에 기반한 관념을 이야기하고 있어서가 아닐까 싶다. (말이 되는가?) 기대, 또 기대!

교태로운삶 2014-02-07 공감 (0) 댓글 (0)
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공감

삶의 고통을 통해서 자신을 치유한 이야기들이 나오는 책이라 기대됩니다.

우리모두 2014-02-12 공감 (0) 댓글 (0)
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마이리뷰

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리뷰쓰기

공감순

현존에 귀의하는 마음

이 책은, 길들여진 삶에서 벗어나 온전한 나로 회귀하는 현존의 문이다. 평화와 사랑과 자유라는 내면의 참된 귀의처에 대한 저자의 경험의 결실이 담겨있다. 저자 타라 브랙(Tara Brach)은 미국의 임상 심리학자이자 위빠사나 명상가이다. 서양의 심리치료법과 동양의 불교명상을 결합한 심리치유 프로그램으로 많은 사람들에게 큰 공감과 위로를 주고 있다.

숨 가쁘게 변하고 불안정한 세상 속에서 자신이 찾는 안전한 피난처가 외부에 있지 않고, 바로 여기, 지금 이 순간 내 마음 속에 있음을 깨우쳐 주고 현존에 이르는 방법을 소개한다. 저자가 삶에서 겪었던 경험과 상담 사례를 통한 깊은 통찰과 진솔함은 참으로 고귀하고 아름답다. 바로 여기 지금 이 순간, 현존이라는 참된 귀의처의 문을 열어 보여 준다.

“지금 이 순간 내면의 깨어있는 고요를 감지할 때, 즉 현존할 때, 나는 완전한 나에게로, 참된 본성으로, 고향으로 돌아간다.”(p.24).

<삶에서 깨어나기>는 참된 귀의처로 통하는 세 개의 문, 즉 진리 사랑 자각을 다루고 있다. 이 세 개의 문이 독자들을 치유와 영적자유로 안내한다. 세 개의 문이 평화와 행복의 열쇠이다. 이 책이, 귀의처를 찾아서(1부), 진리의 문(2부), 사랑의 문(3부), 자각의 문(4부)으로 이루어져 있는 이유이다.

자신 안의 신성한 영적 공간으로 귀향하는 여러 가지 방법 중에서, 저자는 가장 실용적인 마음챙김 명상 기법을 보여준다. 이 순간으로 ‘돌아오기’ ‘여기에 존재하기’ ‘자애명상’ ‘통렌수행’ ‘RAIN(인정, 허락, 조사, 비동일시)’ 등을 소개한다. 명상을 일상화하기 위해 간단하고 심오한 누구든 쉽게 익힐 수 있는 다양한 기법과 각 장마다 명상연습과 성찰연습이 상세하게 나와 있다.

(타라 브랙의 마음챙김 기법의 핵심 - RAIN)

어떻게 하면 현존을 쉽게 기억할 수 있나요? 라는 질문에 저자는 “그냥 멈추세요.”(p.85) 지금 여기로 돌아오는 유일한 방법은 그냥 멈추는 것이라고 한다. 명상 수행을 심화시키는 방법에 대해 틱낫한 스님은 “호흡하십시오. 그리고 미소 지으세요.”(p.80) 이 모든 질문에 대한 답변은 거침없이 간단하다. 귀의처로 가는 문을 여는 방법들은 의외로 쉽고, 어느 문을 열든지 한 개의 문은 다른 모든 문들을 포함하고 있어 독자의 내면과 선택에 달려 있다고 생각한다.

순수한 자각, 매순간의 살아있는 진리, 무한한 사랑이라는 내면의 귀의처에 이르기 위해 마음의 염원에 귀를 기울이고, 지금 경험하고 있는 세계와 마음상태에 주의를 기울이며, 현존에 귀의하기-이 순간에 존재하기-에 마음을 집중하게 된다.(자각 진리 사랑 이라는 3개의 문은 불교에서 불佛법法승僧에 해당하며, 기독교의 삼위일체에 대한 해석과 통한다)

진리의 문(2부) 중에서 ‘땅을 만지기’(p.150)에 나오는 이야기가 감동적이다. 싯다르타가 보리수 아래에 앉아 있을 때 마라(망상)가 다가와 돌을 던지고, 화살을 쏘고, 끓는 진흙과 뜨거운 모래를 집어던졌다. 싯다르타는 이 공격에 자비로운 현존으로 응했고, 마라가 쏘아댄 모든 것은 천상의 꽃으로 화했다. 싯다르타는 오롯이 현재에 존재했다. 땅을 만지며, 자신의 자비를, 자신의 참자아를 증명해 달라고 청했다. 자신이 땅에 닿아있음을 인식하는 순간 싯다르타는 붓다가 되었다.

지금 이 순간 생생한 살아있음에 귀의하는 순간, 언제든 치유와 깨달음에 이를 수 있음을 보여주는 내용이다. 자신의 살과 피에, 자신의 호흡에, 공기 그 자체에, 자신을 이루는 모든 요소에, 자신의 고향인 땅에 닿는 순간처럼, 이 순간에 존재할 때마다 나도 땅을 만지고 있는 것이리라.

<삶에서 깨어나기> 이 책은 자신의 내면에서 참된 귀의처를 찾게 해준다. 지금 이 순간의 자신의 경험을 온전히 자각하고, 있는 그대로 체감할 때 일어나는 깨어 있고 열려있고 다정한 현존으로 초대한다. 고향으로, 현존이라는 참된 귀의처로 돌아오기 위한 마음 수행은 이 책의 곳곳에 친절하고 상세하게 소개되어 있다. 책을 읽는 동안이나 읽은 후에 독자들은 지금 이 순간의 소중함과 현존의 축복에서 열리는 자각, 진리, 사랑의 열매를 삶의 곳곳에서 발견하게 될 것이다. 온 우주와 함께 지금 이 순간의 현존에 귀의하며... (고맙습니다.)
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flower 2014-02-28 공감(4) 댓글(0)
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[마이리뷰] 삶에서 깨어나기

....그래서 아예 처음부터 잠가놓지 않았습니다.˝ 활짝 열린 감방 안에서 후디니는 자신이 갇혀 있다고 믿었고, 자물쇠를 풀어 벗어나려는 노력이 오히려 자신을 단단히 가둔 셈이었다!
... 얼마나 많은 사람들이 후디니처럼 삶이 반드시 풀어야 할 자물쇠라고, 해결책이 필요한 문제라고 믿고 있는가? 우리의 문제는 생각에 갇혀 있다는 것이다. 우리의 문제는 삶 자체를 통제하려는 노력이다. 쉼 없는 자기 대화가 침묵할 때, 오직 그때에야 우리는 감방문이 이미 열려 있다는 것을 깨닫는다.(175,176)

행복하려할 때 불행해지고,
고치려할 때 고착되고,
안전하려할 때 불안하며,
조정하려할 때 끌려간다.

행복하려는, 고치려는,
안전하려는, 조정하려는
이 모든 생각에서 벗어나려고
끊임없이 생각하는 늪...

삶은 풀어야할 문제가 아니라
환영해야할 선물이며
끌어안아야할 사랑이다.

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삶에서 깨어나기

살면서 누구나 많은 고통을 겪고 번민을 하게 된다.

고통이 닥쳤을 때 그 고통에서 어떻게 헤어나오는가, 고통에 빠져있는 시간을 좀 줄일 수 있다면 얼마나 좋겠는가.

타라브랙의 책 '받아들임'을 읽은 후에 다시 만난 '삶에서 깨어나기'는 명상과 심리치료를 통해 어떻게 고통에서 벗어나고 나의 마음을 다스릴 수 있는가에 대한 이야기다. 다양한 사람들의 이야기와 경험담을 통해서 가슴이 짠한 부분이 많았고

고통을 딛고 평화로움을 되찾기까지의 과정과 노력을 통해 지금 고통을 겪고 있는 누군가도 명상과 마음 다스림을 통해서

본래의 나를 되찾게 되리라 생각해보았다.

진솔하고 깊이있는 저자의 이야기는 글의 내용에 대한 믿음과 고통받고 있는 이에 대한 연민과 사랑을 느끼게 해주었고

결국 우리 생에서 가장 중요한 것이 바로 사랑이라는 것을 느꼈다.

모든 고통을 극복할 수 있는 위대한 힘, 사랑이야말로 우리를 살아가게 하는 힘인 것이다.

책 속에는 많은 상담자의 사례가 나오는데 많은 이야기들이 다 메세지를 주고 있었지만 그중에서도 에이미의 이야기는 우리에게 용서의 힘이 얼마나 큰지를 잘 알려주고 있었고 내가 엄마라서인지 더욱 와닿았다.

어릴 적 엄마로부터 많은 상처를 받은 에이미, 현재는 유방암 말기인 엄마를 돌보면서 냉담한 현재의 자신을 견디기 힘들어하고 있었다.

그런 에이미는 저자의 도움으로 자신의 취약함을 인식하고 연민을 보냄으로써 에이미는 자신의 고통까지 품어 안을 수 있는 커다란 존재를 알아차리게 된다. 나는 이 부분이 너무 감동적이어서 반복해서 몇 번 읽었다.

사실 우리는 중요한 것을 놓치고 겉만 보고 살아가는 것은 아닐까.

스스로의 내면을 들여다보고 진심으로 자신을 보살피면서 자기 자신을 사랑하는 일

그것이 핵심이 아닐까

이 책에서는 친절하게 한 장이 끝날 때마다 명상 연습이라는 제목아래 명상의 방법을 설명해주고 있다.

명상의 핵심을 자세하게 알려주어서 천천히 따라해볼 수 있고 책을 읽으면서 무언가 나의 삶에 대해서도 생각해보게 만든다. 나는? 어떤가 하고 말이다.

특히 '고통 앞에서 기도하기' 는 많은 이들이 읽어보고 직접 기도를 해봤으면 좋겠다.

기도를 통해 무엇을 성취하기도 하지만 기도의 과정을 통해서 내 마음이 맑아지고 스스로 평화로워짐을 경험해보게 될 것이기 때문이다.

책 분량의 압박이 있고 깊이있는 내용을 다루고 있어 쉽게 읽혀지지는 않지만 천천히 곱씹어 읽음으로써 더 와닿는 부분이 많았고 나 뿐 아니라 모든 사람이 각자의 고통을 가지고 있으며 이를 승화시켜서 보다 나은 나로 성장할 수 있음을 알 수 있었다.

무작정 생각을 따라가는 삶은 무의미하다.

내 마음을 맑게 정화해서 한 차원 넘어선 나로 살아가게 도와주는 책 '삶에서 깨어나기' 를 읽으면서 내가 어쩐지 조금 더 성장한 느낌이다.

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사랑이네 2014-03-26 공감(1) 댓글(0)
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타라브랙의 '삶에서 깨어나기' 책에 대한 기대

저는 하루에 100명에서 많게는 이삼백명의 민원인들을 만나는 일을 하고 있습니다.

하루를 마무리 할때면 그사람들과 나눴던 가족들과의관계, 일, 사는이야기들을 다시한번 돌이켜봅니다. 그 중 몇 몇분은 온갖 불만을 토해내거나 입에 담을 수 없는 험한 말들을 대책없이 뿌려놓고는 헤집고 가는 이들이 있습니다.

그들에게는 현재의 상황 전 다른 일로 힘들어 지쳐 있는 마음이 있었다는걸 느낍니다.

모든 관계에서 자신을 바로 알고, 바로 바라볼 수 있는 그래서 자기자신을 스스로 잘 돌볼 수 있는 그런 혜안들이 있었으면 하는 바램이 생깁니다.

이 세상에 가장 소중한 사람은 바로 자기 자신이라는 사실을 잊고 사는 사람들이 너무나 많습니다.

타라브랙의 길들여진 삶에서 벗어나 온전한 나로! "삶에서 깨어나기"라는 책과 "받아들임"이라는 치유의 사례들을 통해 마음의 고통을 치유하며 평화가 찾아오길 기대해 보며 책에 대한 부푼기대를 갖습니다.

읽어보고 더 자세한 후기 남겨보겠습니다.
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miraa27 2014-02-05 공감(1) 댓글(0)
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삶에서 깨어나기

지금 나와 내 가족이 고통 중에 있는가? 인생에 닥친 절체절명의 위기 가운데 어찌할 바를 알지 못해 괴로운가? 삶의 고난 앞에서 많은 사람들은 두려움에 사로잡히거나, 분노하거나, 자기비난에 빠지거나, 술이나 음식에 의존하며 괴로움에서 도망친다. 하지만 이런 행동들은 잠깐의 위안이 될 뿐, 더 큰 괴로움을 불러온다.

엄청나게 뜨거운 열과 엄청난 압력을 받아 탄생한 다이아몬드가 깎일수록 영롱하게 빛나는 것처럼, 다이아몬드 원석인 우리의 고난도 깎일수록, 환경에 의해 닦일수록 찬란하게 빛날 것이다.

이 책은 30여년이 넘는 세월 동안 불교의 위파사나 명상가이자 임상심리학자로서 수많은 사람을 치유해온 저자 타라 브랙이 누구나 겪는 괴로움의 정체를 근원적으로 파헤치며 그 괴로움 너머 깨어있는 마음이 주는 평화와 자유에 도달하는 길을 안내한다.

이 책은 우리 주변 누구나 겪는 그런 삶의 고난을 이야기한다. 임종을 앞둔 남편을 간호하는 아내, 갈등하는 부부, 육아로 지친 엄마, 암 투병의 외로움과 고통, 사랑받지 못한 어린 시절의 상처로 괴로워하는 사람들, 알코올 중독, 성적 무능에 대한 공포, 직장에서 겪는 스트레스, 직업·외모로 인한 차별과 열등감, 서로 불평·비난하는 가족, 끊임없는 자기혐오, 통제되지 않고 폭발하는 분노, 사랑하는 사람을 잃은 슬픔, 소통하지 못하는 수다, 이상과 현실의 괴리 등이다.

저자는 “삶이 고통스럽다는 것은 사실이지만 진실은 아니다”라고 말한다. 그러면서 “고통만 바라보고 고통에 빠져 고통에 매몰되지 말고, 내면의 참된 자신을 믿고 우리가 살고 있는 지금 이 순간의 삶에서 깨어있으라”고 조언한다.

이 책은 우리의 선하고 지혜로운 본성을 상기시켜줄 뿐만 아니라 우리 자신과 자신의 삶을 항상 신뢰할 수 있게 해주며, 우리의 괴로움을 근본적으로 치유하고 진정으로 행복해지는 법을 알려준다. 크나큰 고통을 견뎌내고 일어선 사람들의 감동적인 치유 이야기와 구체적인 명상법을 통해 우리가 찾고 있는 모든 것이 우리 내면에 이미 있으며 ‘아무리 힘겨운 상황에서도 치유와 자유’에 도달할 수 있음을 일깨워준다.

이 책에서 저자는 “누구에게든 치유의 출발점은 자신의 마음과의 화해다. 크나큰 죄악을 저질러서 자신을 용서하기가 불가능하든지, 고질적인 자기비난에 갇혀 있든지 간에, 우리는 항상 자신과 전쟁 중이다. 자신의 다정한 마음과, 영혼과 단절되어 있다. 잘못 그 너머에 있는 인간의 취약함을 볼 수 있을 때 우리는 화해의 길에 들어선다. 자기연민은 타인에 대한 염려와 보살핌으로 자연스럽게 이어진다. 그리고 어쩌면 리처드처럼, 우리가 가능하리라고는 상상도 못했던 사랑과 연결을 경험할지도 모른다.”(pp.304~305)고 말했다.

이 책은 일종의 불교명상이라고 할 수 있다. 이 책을 읽고 내면의 나와 만날 수 있다면 ‘길들여진 삶에서 벗어나 온전한 나로’가게 될 것이다.

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