Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely
by
Lysa TerKeurst (Goodreads Author)
4.19 · Rating details · 30,698 ratings · 2,126 reviews
"Rejection steals the best of who I am by reinforcing the worst of what's been said to me."
The enemy wants us to feel rejected . . . left out, lonely, and less than.
In Uninvited, Lysa shares her own deeply personal experiences of rejection—from the perceived judgment of the perfectly toned woman one elliptical over to the incredibly painful childhood abandonment by her fat ...more
Popular Answered Questions
Can anyone recommend a book like this, but without the christian spirituality? I'd like to recommend a secular version to my friend.
10 Likes · Like
5 Years Ago
See All 5 Answers
Karin Reese any of Brene Brown's books, particularly "I Thought It Was Just Me" and "The Gifts of Imperfection." Ms. Brown has extensively researched shame and vulnerability. The first book I listed was particularly eye-opening to help me see how much shame I was carrying and help me start figuring out ways to work through it. I have recommended her books often!(less)
flag
Considering reading this: Is this book heavy on Christianity? Can I get a lot out of it if I do not accept Christian religions?
Like
3 Years Ago
See All 2 Answers
Elizabeth Giles It is heavily Christian, but I think you could get a lot from it, even if you're not religious.…more
flag
Average rating4.19 ·
Rating details
· 30,698 ratings · 2,126 reviews
Sep 14, 2016Rachel B rated it it was ok
Shelves: netgalley, sic-book-club, christian, nonfiction
This book was a little unfocused. It seemed to touch on every topic and yet not really say anything. To sum it up, "God loves you, so you should live your life feeling loved. If you don't feel loved, that's a problem. The solution? Know that God loves you." Which isn't wrong - it's just incredibly simplistic and not overly helpful.
TerKeurst also took a few verses out of context and read into Bible stories a bit more than I believe is wise. There were a few good nuggets, but nothing that I haven' ...more
flag176 likes · Like · 33 comments · see review
Oct 22, 2016Callie rated it it was ok
Shelves: read-in-2016
2/5 stars.
So, I'm just going to go ahead and give you the bottom line right from the start - I was rather disappointed in this book.
I read The Best Yes by Lysa Terkheurst a while ago, and I really found it helpful, so I thought I'd pick up her new book. I generally think that Terkheurst is a good writer, but this book really fell flat for me, I think for a few reasons.
1. This was not a great time in my life to read this book. I was trying to remember my own past rejections as I read, and trying ...more
flag102 likes · Like · 16 comments · see review
Sep 13, 2016Rosie rated it it was amazing
Shelves: favorites
Oh my stars.
I wish I could have had this book a couple years ago. It would have saved me so much hurt. But I didn't, and that's okay. God brought me through and helped me work through it. In her book, Mrs. TerKeurst walks through how to overcome the pain of past or present rejection, and how to in turn live loved. If you've ever tasted that bitter sting of being rejected, I strongly recommend you pick this book up. As she points out, not tending to these wounds just allow a seed of bitterness to grow in your heart. You need to quit ignoring the problem and address it, and Mrs. TerKeurst helps you do just that.
Now, this book will not replace going to a counselor if that is what you need. But it has helped me in so many ways. Mrs. TerKeurst writes in such a relatable fashion, she shares her heart and her struggles. She reminded me that I wasn't alone. And that I wasn't the only one who had ever felt this way. She was encouraging and uplifting. I thought I would have gotten this review up sooner, except I had to keep going back and re-read chapters. This isn't some casual afternoon read, this book provokes thought and requires time to soak it all in. I could barely make it through a couple chapters at a time. Normally, that would be a bad thing but not this time!
I have faced a lot of rejection this year. Maybe now that the wounds have started to heal I'll write about it. But until then, I can't recommend this book enough. If you're hurting, at least use this book as a starting place. Spend time in the scriptures she lists, and definitely pray. God will work wonders on your heart through Mrs. TerKeurst, if you'll let Him. He did just that for me!
Thank you, Lysa, for being bold enough to write this book. I can't thank you enough!
I received this book from BookLook Bloggers in return for an honest review of my opinions, which I have done. Thanks! (less)
flag68 likes · Like · 6 comments · see review
Aug 15, 2016Donella rated it it was amazing · review of another edition
Just What I needed
This book touched me so personally that I am in tears. It was like the author was speaking directly to me.
flag29 likes · Like · 2 comments · see review
Oct 30, 2016Nikki rated it it was ok
This is not a Gospel driven book. Many Christian women authors today seem to want to use our depravity to make sure we know we're not alone and almost make us feel okay about our feelings, however ungodly they may be. This book is no exception to that. While there were a few chapters that spoke to me, by the end, I just wanted so badly for her to use my sinfulness, my depravity, my "lonely, left out feelings" to remind me of why I need Christ and drive me toward self-forgetfulness and gospel centeredness. Instead, she tries to comfort the sinner in their sin, adding to the self-focus that's already rampant among Christian women in our present day. (less)
flag27 likes · Like · 3 comments · see review
Oct 13, 2016Amber rated it it was amazing
This is one of those "highlight every other sentence and re-read every month" type books. I think everyone who has ever walked the earth has dealt with rejection in one form or another. Rejection can be devastating and crippling. It is so easy to be consumed by it, to allow it to change who we are and what we think about ourselves. I am a big fan of Lysa's but the way she walks through this book and how to process and grow from rejection is beautiful. I highly recommend this book for everyone. (less)
flag27 likes · Like · 1 comment · see review
Dec 17, 2016Brandice rated it really liked it
This book was great. I'd never heard of it but stumbled across it on display at the bookstore. Parts of it were incredibly relatable for me - some very familiar feelings and actions. It gave me a lot to think about. (less)
flag24 likes · Like · comment · see review
Oct 12, 2016Laura rated it it was amazing
Shelves: read-2016, christian-life, bible-study-obs
If you have ever felt rejected, left out, cast aside or even simply feel unloved at times, this book will have something that will help you feel loved and will help your emotional pain heal as you learn to accept God's love for you and his forgiveness. This was an easy read and I loved how organized the book was. I would recommend buying the hardcopy because at the end of the book, Lysa listed all of the important bible verses that were used in each chapter and also made another section that listed the special quotes and thoughts that read like medicine to ones weary soul. (less)
flag22 likes · Like · comment · see review
Oct 01, 2016Stephanie rated it it was ok
Shelves: theology, read-in-2016
My feelings about Uninvited can best be summed up with a dispassionate "meh, it was alright." Lysa TerKeurst's writing style didn't do much for me and the chapters felt a little disjointed and unfocused. I did like the overall message the book was trying to convey, but the way that message was flushed out was disappointing and, if I'm being totally honest, forgettable. This isn't a book that will stay with me or that I'll refer back to in years to come. Judging from the glowing reviews here on GoodReads, I'm obviously in the minority with my opinion and that's okay. Hopefully this book speaks to others more than it did to me.
(less)
flag19 likes · Like · see review
Sep 16, 2016Crystalyn rated it it was ok
I skipped many paragraphs. Her writing style doesn't captivate me and to be honest, her experience of being rejected didn't compare to the depths of what many of us experience. I appreciate the concept, though. But I was disappointed. This is the third book of hers that I have read and haven't been captivated. I think the cover art was pretty and the title and subject matter is what made we want to read it. (less)
flag19 likes · Like · 1 comment · see review
Oct 12, 2016Jill rated it it was amazing
If you have ever felt rejected, I would recommend this book. I've been dealing with feeling left out, duped, and, well, uninvited lately. This book was a good reminder that a lot of the feelings we deal with right now are tied to things that happened in the past, and that God never rejects us. I plan on buying my own copy so I can highlight and mark it up good. (less)
flag16 likes · Like · comment · see review
Feb 25, 2017Nova rated it it was ok
Shelves: non-fiction, christian
The positive reviews had me thinking that this would be an excellent read. I was very excited. This is the first time I've ever read a Lysa Terkeurst book, and I just can't give it anything higher than two stars.
For the first few chapters, I was very drawn in to this read. After a while, though, it seemed like something was missing. I had quite a few issues with this book, but I'll list only my main concerns. 1) It's jumpy, going from one topic to the next and doesn't seem to carry a common thread. 2) Some of the examples are really hard to relate to (and at times, verge on the silly side). If you're dealing with decades of loneliness, rejection, etc. you might not be able to relate to the author. So much time is given to insignificant things and silly jokes (thigh gaps and frizzy hair - deep sigh), but when the serious topics come up, they are given about a page, a sentence, a paragraph, and nothing more. This was distracting, and not in a good way. I would think, okay, now, this is something that could help readers, but nothing in-depth about it was ever pursued. It would end right where it started.
In addition, the author's interpretation of a part in the Bible involving Abigail and King David was way off; this was really surprising. I am still unable to wrap my mind around her interpretation of that Scripture.
I would call Uninvited a Christian junk food read. It's meant to make the reader feel good in the moment, but it doesn't give the reader what is needed for true healing to take place. So, that good feeling? Yeah, it'll fade. The answer to every issue in Uninvited: sin, emotion, failing, a bad attitude, bad behavior, etc. is consistently to live loved, for the Christian to remember that God loves them. I kept feeling like something was wrong in this book, and finally realized what it was. I could clearly pinpoint sins when the author wrote about them, but she didn't call them that most of the time and mentioned nothing about repentance. This was very strange to me. How can one struggling with jealousy from always being left out, or bitterness from years of bad treatment or perceived bad treatment, ever realize that the way to heal is to first admit that bitterness, jealousy, etc. are sins and seek God's forgiveness? It's impossible. You have to start with the whole truth to be healed.
What did the live loved antidote seem like to me? It's like painting an area of rust and expecting the rust to go away or painting over rotted wood instead of replacing the wood. First, you take care of the real issue behind certain things (i.e. sin), and repent and then live loved. There are more helpful books out there dealing with loneliness and how to cope with that and even overcome it, not to mention the Bible, which should be the first answer to everything anyway. I don't recommend this read. If you feel compelled to try it, check out a copy from your local library. TerKeurst is a very popular author, and I do hope her other books have more to offer than Uninvited. (less)
flag15 likes · Like · 2 comments · see review
Apr 19, 2017Kris rated it liked it
Shelves: religion-christianity, recommended-to-me
Rather fluffy and cliche in the beginning, but it did get better, as my friend said it would. I must admit that there are thought-provoking pieces of advice in here, despite the book's weak structure and lackluster writing style. I can see how it would be of great help to some. But it just didn't strike a chord with me. The whole thing was wrapped in too many layers of cheesiness. (less)
flag14 likes · Like · comment · see review
Nov 07, 2016Kara Neal rated it it was ok · review of another edition
Skip it
There were some good things in this book. There really were. But my overall takeaway is that this writer seems awfully petty and fixated on herself much of the time. Another sticking point for me is that she seems to believe God speaks to her personally. Scripture doesn't support that. Looking into her church, pastor, and theology, I'd suggest to proceed with discernment. Test the spirits. (less)
flag13 likes · Like · 2 comments · see review
May 23, 2018Serethiel — now on The StoryGraph rated it really liked it
Shelves: assigned, 2018-reads, devotionals, non-fiction, san-diego-public-library
4.5 stars
THIS BOOK, Y'ALL.
Lysa TerKeurst delivers such a heartfelt address on rejection, chatting with the reader and sharing hilarious anecdotes as if she's basically your bestie. Uninvited delivers the eye-opening message that it's perfectly natural to feel the sharp ache of rejection... but also gently presents advice on how we can rest in God's eternal embrace throughout it. <3 (less)
flag13 likes · Like · see review
Apr 23, 2018Christina Claypool rated it it was amazing
When a book comes along at just the right time, it can be a double blessing. Lysa TerKeurst's "Uninvited..." came along at the perfect moment for me.
If we're honest, there are times when we all feel rejected, and less than. Many of us, like Lysa so adeptly writes about, have childhood issues which we can hold onto, if we're not careful. As an author and role model, she is transparent in a sensitive and challenging way, using herself as an example that there is a wonderful freedom God can give us, if we're willing to fight for it.
In addition, as we age, it is very easy to fall into the trap of feeling that our best days are behind us due to the invisibility created by the societal worship of youth. This is where I was when I picked up this book. Not so much regarding physical attractiveness, but about our usefulness to the kingdom.
That's why it's beyond encouraging to read about all the ways our loving God embraces and loves us, not only when we fail or feel like an outcast, but when we are struggling to accept an older version of ourselves. Loved this book!
(less)
flag11 likes · Like · comment · see review
Jan 21, 2019Sher❤ The Fabulous BookLover rated it it was ok
Shelves: nonfiction-reads
Have you ever looked through someone else’s prescription glasses and even though it’s perfect for them it’s a blurry mess for you? That’s how I feel when I read Lysa’s books.
For the life of me I couldn’t connect with this book! Perhaps it’s because I’m not feeling rejected or uninvited. Or it could be because, like most of this authors books, her books are very unfocused.
I’m always about learning and keeping a solid foundation in my relationship with Jesus. And even though I may not be feeling rejected or left out now there are times in life when we do feel like that. But this book isn’t very helpful. And the way this author uses scriptures sort of worries me. There was one part of the book that she explained something, used scripture and it didn’t match at all!
I’m happy if a reader finds solace between these pages, but unfortunately for me I had to tap out after the 4th chapter. (less)
flag10 likes · Like · 2 comments · see review
Jul 31, 2016Stephanie rated it it was amazing
I always enjoy Lysa's writing. It is so honest. This book did not disappoint.
Lysa lets the reader look into her own insecurities to teach the reader lessons when we feel rejected. She gives lots of personal stories and plenty of scripture for the reader to hide in her heart. "Live from the abundant pace that you are loved, and you won't find yourself begging others for scraps of love" is one of the author's quotes that I feel sums up the point of the book. Highly recommend. (less)
flag10 likes · Like · comment · see review
Sep 27, 2016Lisa rated it liked it
I debated between giving this 2 or 3 stars. I was drawn in by the title and subject matter, but didn't feel the book delivered on its promises. I wasn't captivated by the writing and actually skimmed some parts. This was the first book I've read by this author. I was hoping for more- more depth, more personal stories, more connection... just more. (less)
flag10 likes · Like · 2 comments · see review
Oct 14, 2016Amie Walker rated it it was ok
This was the first book I have read by Lysa. Unfortunately, I wasn't impressed. I felt like her chapters were unfocused and really didn't get very deep into the topic of rejection. It was very "fluffy" and I was looking for more biblical truths than what she presented. Plus, if I had to hear about her thighs or body image issues one more time I would've simply put the book down. (less)
flag10 likes · Like · see review
Feb 28, 2019Brooke — brooklynnnnereads rated it liked it
Shelves: books-i-own
3.5 stars
I think the lower rating of this book is mainly attributed to my experience and the pacing of my reading, compared to the content. 3.5 stars is in by no means a bad rating, but I think I would have given this book a higher rating if I meditated and digested on the content more.
When I picked this book up, I thought it was at the perfect time as I was struggling with a lot of the issues that it discusses. However, I was in more of a mood to just ‘read’ and because of that I didn’t work through this slowly or truly absorb the content.
With that being said, I did like the content of the book and know I will reread this book at a later date. That reread will be at a more appropriate pace and potentially use this book as a study. I have read Lysa TerKeurst’s book “The Best Yes” which I enjoyed and I really like the style of Lysa’s writing. I find her writing style and her attitude very relatable.
If you are interested in books centering around personal development or self-help, I would recommend this one. But I do have to mention that it does reflect a Christian lifestyle so if religious material is not your thing, maybe pass on this one. Also, as per my experience, I definitely would read through this one slowly to get the most out of it. (less)
flag9 likes · Like · comment · see review
Aug 14, 2018Hope Joyce rated it liked it
I read this book 3 years ago and did not enjoy it the first time around. I just didn’t relate to the main topic and I got bored quickly. When I read it the second time, my perspective completely changed. I read it with a new attitude, ready to glean whatever wisdom I could from the book. With new experiences of rejection under my belt, I was able to relate to the author’s words and find solace in the scriptures she cites. This isn’t my new favorite book all of the sudden, but it can be a helpful read if you are feeling uninvited. (less)
flag9 likes · Like · 1 comment · see review
Feb 20, 2019Kimberly Dawn rated it it was amazing · review of another edition
17 highlights
The messages in this book for women by a Christian writer are beautiful and healing. Really though, you don’t have to be especially beaten, battered or rejected to relate to this book. Life is difficult, as M. Scott Peck wisely said, and the sooner we accept that the less difficult it becomes.
At best, life is a beautiful struggle.
flag12 likes · Like · see review
Jun 26, 2018Sylvia rated it liked it · review of another edition
Shelves: mental-health, authors-from-another-country, non-fiction, health-mind-body, new-to-you-author, self-help, spiritual, all-you-need-is-love
Interesting, insightful and inspirational.
flag9 likes · Like · comment · see review
Jan 04, 2017Jeanie rated it liked it
Shelves: netgalley
I've been hurt by rejection and started believing lies about my God and who I am in Him-I deny myself the protection of His truth. And my search for love and acceptance outside of God's presence then leads to dangerous places.
Rating 3.5
TerKeurst is a wonderful writer who expresses herself with vulnerability and rawness. The pain of rejection can spill out in our lives in many different ways and the damage it does can leave us spiritual immature and lacking. Does this only apply to select few? No I think all of us has experienced rejection of some kind. The way I approach it is, when I choose one, that means I reject another. When someone chooses another, they reject me. That is what I love about marriage. Because marriage addresses that. But that is a different book.
Terkeurst takes us on a journey on how we can address the rejection that we have experienced and experience God's presence. What does rejection do...it steals the security of what we thought was beautiful and stable and leaves us scared and fragile. So rejection can be a big deal to some of us. However, that being said and in my own experience I have found that I become self-absorbed. Which is not of the gospel. My rejection can turn something painful to something beautiful when I pursue the gospel. This is my fear in reading books like this. Does this read have the potential of making us self-absorbed that we become self-centered and not God-centered or gospel centered? What I found is Terkeurst passion is to put us at the feet of the Jesus but I am not sure about the cross.
As I was reading, I was also underlining. She speaks to a broken heart but I also was wary, does she speak to my own wickedness. Does she speak of Christ Lordship? There is a friendship to her writing that is winsome and that I found myself drawn to and I am sure many others have been drawn in the same way. Unlike some other writers that I have experienced reading, she is not about the popularity but being real. I so appreciate it. I would not call her teacher but I would call her a friend. She does not put lightly the pain and anguish of those that have suffered and I believe God does not either but we have the greatest invitation in Christ. We all are invited and we all have a ticket that is paid. I recommend this book with caution but I whole heartily recommend the need to address our pain in a biblical way and I appreciate the author's own heart in doing so.
A Special Thank You to Thomas Nelson and Netgalley for the ARC and the opportunity to post an honest review. (less)
flag8 likes · Like · comment · see review
