2020/05/28

Amazon.com: Customer reviews: Siblings: Sex and Violence

Amazon.com: Customer reviews: Siblings: Sex and Violence



Siblings and all the lateral relationships that follow from them are clearly important and their interaction is widely observed, particularly in creative literature. Yet in the social, psychological and political sciences, there is no theoretical paradigm through which we might understand them. In the Western world our thought is completely dominated by a vertical model, by patterns of descent or ascent: mother or father to child, or child to parent. Yet our ideals are ‘liberty, equality and fraternity’ or the ‘sisterhood’ of feminism; our ethnic wars are the violence of ‘fratricide’.

When we grow up, siblings feature prominently in sex, violence and the construction of gender differences but they are absent from our theories. This book examines the reasons for this omission and begins the search for a new paradigm based on siblings and lateral relationships.
This book will be essential reading for those studying sociology, psychoanalysis and gender studies. It will also appeal to a wide general readership.

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Juliet Mitchell, brimming as usual with ideas, insights and reflections, has turned her attention to sibling relationships as the neglected and much underestimated influence on an individual’s identity formation. Love, hate, sexual experience, the shaping of gender roles, suffering and survival strategies are pursued as the sibling exchange. A work to provoke thought and discussion packed with real life and literary evidence."

Olwen Hufton University of Oxford

"In 1974, Mitchell’s Psychoanalysis and Feminism offered a major challenge to a resistant Anglo-Saxon feminism with her compelling case that psychoanalysis, most often seen by feminists to be part of the problem, was rather a powerful resource for feminist explanation and understanding of male domination, female oppression. Almost thirty years on, with Siblings, she has made a second, perhaps even more radical intervention. Her analysis of the lateral relations of siblings and peers promises to transform many of the recurrent issues and debates of contemporary feminism. ... This new book offers richly stimulating resources that should fuel feminist scholarship and debate for many years."

Terry Lovell, Warwick University



From the Inside Flap

Siblings and all the lateral relationships that follow from them are clearly important and their interaction is widely observed, particularly in creative literature. Yet in the social, psychological and political sciences, there is no theoretical paradigm through which we might understand them. In the Western world our thought is completely dominated by a vertical model, by patterns of descent or ascent: mother or father to child, or child to parent. Yet our ideals are ‘liberty, equality and fraternity’ or the ‘sisterhood’ of feminism; our ethnic wars are the violence of ‘fratricide’.

When we grow up, siblings feature prominently in sex, violence and the construction of gender differences but they are absent from our theories. This book examines the reasons for this omission and begins the search for a new paradigm based on siblings and lateral relationships.

This book will be essential reading for those studying sociology, psychoanalysis and gender studies. It will also appeal to a wide general readership.



From the Back Cover

Siblings and all the lateral relationships that follow from them are clearly important and their interaction is widely observed, particularly in creative literature. Yet in the social, psychological and political sciences, there is no theoretical paradigm through which we might understand them. In the Western world our thought is completely dominated by a vertical model, by patterns of descent or ascent: mother or father to child, or child to parent. Yet our ideals are ‘liberty, equality and fraternity’ or the ‘sisterhood’ of feminism; our ethnic wars are the violence of ‘fratricide’.

When we grow up, siblings feature prominently in sex, violence and the construction of gender differences but they are absent from our theories. This book examines the reasons for this omission and begins the search for a new paradigm based on siblings and lateral relationships.

This book will be essential reading for those studying sociology, psychoanalysis and gender studies. It will also appeal to a wide general readership.



About the Author

Juliet Mitchell is Professor of Psychoanalysis and Gender Studies at the University of Cambridge and a full member of the International Society of Psychoanalysis.

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Product details

Paperback: 272 pages

Publisher: Polity; 1 edition (December 30, 2003)

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Fallen

5.0 out of 5 stars Invaluable Insight

Reviewed in the United States on May 27, 2017

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Mitchell provides invaluable insights into siblingship being distinct in and of itself, as opposed to an alternative or surrogate for oedipal theory. Her comprehensive, concise perspective on historical psychoanalytic case studies and theories is articulated in accessible language and respects that are relevant to both classic theorists and contemporaries. The deconstruction of narcissism, self-concept, and self-reference is key here as Mitchell demonstrates a significance that is not simply clinical, but discursive. This enables readers to grasp the importance of siblings whose esteems underlay our egos and sociological imagination.

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Jean G. Hantman

3.0 out of 5 stars Where were the parents.

Reviewed in the United States on March 23, 2005

March 13, 2005



(c)2005 Jean Hantman [...]



On "Siblings" by Juliet Mitchell



Polity Press, 2003



"I was struck that the father was not credited with any role in the aetiology of Sarah's



illness." J. Mitchell



Mitchell, a brilliant psychoanalyst has written a book that is certainly a valuable addition to psychoanalytic literature.



All the stories we hear from patients about the major influence their brothers and sisters have



had on their psychic lives has been a significant omission in the literature. She makes a good



case for considering that the core event in many people's lives revolve around their experience



with their siblings.



And yet the question remains: Where are the parents? Where were the parents?



Mitchell herself writes: "Western psychiatrists and psychotherapists confirm that sibling



incest occurs most frequently in the context of an absence of vertical--usually, that is



parental--care. Although the context will change the implications considerably, the child feels



this neglect very acutely... the absence of adult protection is present in all cases" (italics



mine).



What then could the reason be for shifting etiology from the vertical (parental) to the



lateral (sibling)?



Mitchell makes the same omission that Freud does with the Oedipus myth: the circumstances



of Oedipus' birth and infancy: his parents abandoned him when he was born. Both Freud and



Mitchell (and most other Oedipists) skip to the patricide and incest part of the story, stricken



with the usual psychoanalytic amnesia concerning Oedipus' abandonment at birth by his parents.



Later on, when writing about patients' childhood experiences, the same amnesia and omission is



repeated. Focus on incestuous fantasies and activities and ignore the historical abandonment,



the 'absence of adult protection'. All of us in practice repeatedly hear about bad things



happening to our patients in childhood, and for some reason we collude with them by not asking



the obvious questions: Well, where were your parents?



And, because we can't be protecting the children every minute of the day, the equally



important questions: Could you tell your parents about it afterwards? Did they help you? Why not?



Raise your hand if you left your little boys and girls together in a room and walked away



for longer than it takes for one of them to get hurt. And how many times did you turn your back?



Once? Twice? Always? Where are the parents? Where were the parents?



Let's say we can't control every second of our children's time in a home. Anyone out



there let a violent situation go by without immediately taking to task the brother or sister who



stepped over the physical line and hurt his or her sibling? So that the violent child knew that



you, the parent, were unconflicted about demanding a home in which the difference between verbal



anger (murderous wishes) and physical assault (murderous actions) is discussed constantly, and



discussed again and again, and understood and abided by?



And in those (hopefully) rare situations when you (or designated other adult) weren't



where you were supposed to be, protecting your kids from their violent impulses, didn't you



generate discussion afterwards with them about the difference between impulse and action, until



they learned to put their wishes into words, discussions, stories, art etc. forever after (i.e.,



civilization), rather than punches and pushing, or repression resulting in hysteria, in homes



where discussions are forbidden?



Most of my patients have horror stories to tell about unpleasant or unspeakable



experiences they had with their siblings over time. Sometimes I wonder to myself, and sometimes



I ask, "Where were your parents when this was going on?"



This is not to discount the pain lived by people who experienced sibling violence and



deprivation and unfulfilled longing. But I continue to disagree that these experiences are core



rather than secondary to parents who look the other way. Calling sibling violence the core



issue, rather than secondary--the consequence of parents who turn their heads--is another way of



protecting the bad object.



Who is behind the secrecy that siblings share and suffer from? Are babies born learning



to keep secrets from the people who are supposed to be protecting them from danger, or are they



taught to silence themselves, and by whom? Where are the parents?



There are so many ways that therapists from every discipline protect parents from



admitting responsibility for how the phantasies of the children are negotiated in the home.



Mitchell's book, though wonderfully rich in clinical material and meticulous research, is an



addition to that particular literature, the literature that protects the bad object by drawing



attention away from the source. My own preference for the title would be "Siblings Whose Parents



Turn Their Backs". Same material, same research, same case illustrations, different core issue,



different title.

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Maud Lavin

5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant and useful

Reviewed in the United States on July 14, 2010

Siblings is a brilliant psychoanalytic study of lateral relationships and sibling dynamics. I've found it to be very useful as a writer and critic interested in the workings of aggression. Even groundbreaking.

4 people found this helpful