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My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies
By Resmaa Menakem
5/5 (13 ratings)
411 pages
11 hours
Included in your membership!
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Description
A NATIONAL BESTSELLER
"My Grandmother's Hands will change the direction of the movement for racial justice."— Robin DiAngelo, New York Times bestselling author of White Fragility
In this groundbreaking book, therapist Resmaa Menakem examines the damage caused by racism in America from the perspective of trauma and body-centered psychology.
The body is where our instincts reside and where we fight, flee, or freeze, and it endures the trauma inflicted by the ills that plague society. Menakem argues this destruction will continue until Americans learn to heal the generational anguish of white supremacy, which is deeply embedded in all our bodies. Our collective agony doesn't just affect African Americans. White Americans suffer their own secondary trauma as well. So do blue Americans—our police.
My Grandmother's Hands is a call to action for all of us to recognize that racism is not only about the head, but about the body, and introduces an alternative view of what we can do to grow beyond our entrenched racialized divide.
Paves the way for a new, body-centered understanding of white supremacy—how it is literally in our blood and our nervous system.
Offers a step-by-step healing process based on the latest neuroscience and somatic healing methods, in addition to incisive social commentary.
Resmaa Menakem, MSW, LICSW, is a therapist with decades of experience currently in private practice in Minneapolis, MN, specializing in trauma, body-centered psychotherapy, and violence prevention. He has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show and Dr. Phil as an expert on conflict and violence. Menakem has studied with bestselling authors Dr. David Schnarch (Passionate Marriage) and Dr. Bessel van der Kolk (The Body Keeps the Score). He also trained at Peter Levine's Somatic Experiencing Trauma Institute.
Relationships
Psychology
Discrimination & Race Relations
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PUBLISHER:
Central Recovery Press
RELEASED:
Aug 21, 2017
ISBN:
9781942094487
FORMAT:
Book
About the author
RMResmaa Menakem
Resmaa Menakem is a licensed clinical social worker specializing in couples therapy and domestic violence prevention. He has served in leadership roles at Tubman Family Alliance and African American Family Services, both in Minneapolis, and as a family counselor for civilian contractors in Afghanistan. A former radio talk-show host, he has appeared on Oprah and Dr. Phil as an expert on domestic violence and couples in conflict. He is also the author of My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies.
Start reading
My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies
By Resmaa Menakem
5/5 (13 ratings)
411 pages
11 hours
Included in your membership!
at no additional cost
Description
A NATIONAL BESTSELLER
"My Grandmother's Hands will change the direction of the movement for racial justice."— Robin DiAngelo, New York Times bestselling author of White Fragility
In this groundbreaking book, therapist Resmaa Menakem examines the damage caused by racism in America from the perspective of trauma and body-centered psychology.
The body is where our instincts reside and where we fight, flee, or freeze, and it endures the trauma inflicted by the ills that plague society. Menakem argues this destruction will continue until Americans learn to heal the generational anguish of white supremacy, which is deeply embedded in all our bodies. Our collective agony doesn't just affect African Americans. White Americans suffer their own secondary trauma as well. So do blue Americans—our police.
My Grandmother's Hands is a call to action for all of us to recognize that racism is not only about the head, but about the body, and introduces an alternative view of what we can do to grow beyond our entrenched racialized divide.
Paves the way for a new, body-centered understanding of white supremacy—how it is literally in our blood and our nervous system.
Offers a step-by-step healing process based on the latest neuroscience and somatic healing methods, in addition to incisive social commentary.
Resmaa Menakem, MSW, LICSW, is a therapist with decades of experience currently in private practice in Minneapolis, MN, specializing in trauma, body-centered psychotherapy, and violence prevention. He has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show and Dr. Phil as an expert on conflict and violence. Menakem has studied with bestselling authors Dr. David Schnarch (Passionate Marriage) and Dr. Bessel van der Kolk (The Body Keeps the Score). He also trained at Peter Levine's Somatic Experiencing Trauma Institute.
Relationships
Psychology
Discrimination & Race Relations
All categories
PUBLISHER:
Central Recovery Press
RELEASED:
Aug 21, 2017
ISBN:
9781942094487
FORMAT:
Book
About the author
RMResmaa Menakem
Resmaa Menakem is a licensed clinical social worker specializing in couples therapy and domestic violence prevention. He has served in leadership roles at Tubman Family Alliance and African American Family Services, both in Minneapolis, and as a family counselor for civilian contractors in Afghanistan. A former radio talk-show host, he has appeared on Oprah and Dr. Phil as an expert on domestic violence and couples in conflict. He is also the author of My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies.
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My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies Paperback – September 19, 2017
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A NATIONAL BESTSELLER
"My Grandmother's Hands will change the direction of the movement for racial justice."— Robin DiAngelo, New York Times bestselling author of White Fragility
In this groundbreaking book, therapist Resmaa Menakem examines the damage caused by racism in America from the perspective of trauma and body-centered psychology.
The body is where our instincts reside and where we fight, flee, or freeze, and it endures the trauma inflicted by the ills that plague society. Menakem argues this destruction will continue until Americans learn to heal the generational anguish of white supremacy, which is deeply embedded in all our bodies. Our collective agony doesn't just affect African Americans. White Americans suffer their own secondary trauma as well. So do blue Americans—our police.
My Grandmother's Hands is a call to action for all of us to recognize that racism is not only about the head, but about the body, and introduces an alternative view of what we can do to grow beyond our entrenched racialized divide.
Paves the way for a new, body-centered understanding of white supremacy—how it is literally in our blood and our nervous system.
Offers a step-by-step healing process based on the latest neuroscience and somatic healing methods, in addition to incisive social commentary.
Resmaa Menakem, MSW, LICSW, SEP, is a leading voice in today’s conversation on racialized trauma and the creator of Cultural Somatics, which utilizes the body and its natural resilience as mechanisms for growth. As a therapist and the founder of Justice Leadership Solutions, a leadership consulting firm, Resmaa dedicates his expertise to coaching leaders through civil unrest, organizational change, and community building
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300 pages
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When this same strategy gets internalized and passed down over generations within a particular group, it can start to look like culture. Therapists call this a traumatic retention.
Highlighted by 3,537 Kindle readers
Dirty pain is the pain of avoidance, blame, and denial. When people respond from their most wounded parts, become cruel or violent, or physically or emotionally run away, they experience dirty pain. They also create more of it for themselves and others.
Highlighted by 3,068 Kindle readers
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Editorial Reviews
Publishers Weekly
Sensitive and probing, this book from therapist Menakem delves into the complex effects of racism and white privilege. Departing from standard academic approaches, he speaks from the wisdom of his grandmother and his own expertise in somatic therapy, a field that emphasizes the mind-body connection. Trauma, both present-day and historical, forms the cornerstone of Menakem’s analysis. He writes that race is a “myth―something made up in the 17th century,” with the concepts of whiteness and racial superiority nonetheless now “essential facts of life, like birth, death and gravity.” The result is that both black and white people are traumatized with fear of the racial other and with the “dirty pain of avoidance, blame, and denial.” At the outset, Menakem implores readers to “experience” his book in their bodies. To this end, bodycentric activities, such as breath exercises, are described throughout. Menakem emphasizes body mindfulness, helping readers move from unhealthy reflexive responses to traumatic emotions to the conscious experience of “clean pain,” which involves directly facing such emotions and thereby getting past them. Menakem is specific when directing his messages. “To all my white readers,” he says, “welcome... let’s get to work.” To law-enforcement officers he gives the same welcome. And to African-Americans, he offers counsel and highlights the value of their experiences.
Library Journal (Starred Review)
Community Care Counselor Menakem, MSW, LICSW, SEP, posits that racism is embedded in the hearts, souls, and reflexes of both blacks and whites in American society, and that the trauma (as he describes in depth) inflicted on many as a result of this fact is harmful to all. Menakem then helps readers get inside the black experience to encounter everyday threats and the responses of fighting, fleeing, or freezing in order to begin the healing process. The guided exercises and social commentary help to pave the way for understanding one another and building a stronger community that benefits everyone. VERDICT An exceptionally thought-provoking and important account that looks at race in a radical new way. For all readers.
“A fascinating, must-read, groundbreaking book that offers a novel approach to healing America’s long-standing racial trauma.”―Joseph L. White, PhD, Professor Emeritus of Psychology and Psychiatry at UC Irvine, author of The Psychology of Blacks, Black Man Emerging, Black Fathers, and Building Multicultural Competency: Development, Training, and Practice
"My Grandmother’s Hands is a revolutionary work of beauty, brilliance, compassion and ultimately, hope. With eloquence and grace, Resmaa Menakem masterfully lays out the missing piece in the puzzle of why, despite so many good intentions, we have not achieved racial justice. Yes, we need to understand white supremacy, but as Menakem so skillfully explains, white supremacy is not rational and we won’t end it with our intellect alone. White supremacy is internalized deep into our bodies. We must begin to understand it as white body supremacy and go to the depth of where it is stored, within our collective bones and muscles. To this end, My Grandmother's Hands is an intimate guidebook toward racial healing, one that achieves that rare combination for its readers; it is deeply intellectually stimulating while also providing practical ways to engage in the process of repair, even as we read. I believe this book will change the direction of the movement for racial justice.”―Robin DiAngelo, Racial Justice Educator and author of White Fragility
"Dr. W. E. B. Du Bois put his finger on African American consciousness when he wrote ‘one ever feels his twoness―an American, a Negro; two souls, two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings; two warring ideals in one dark body.’ But even Du Bois never addressed the process of healing the psychological wounds of the ‘two-ness.’ In My Grandmother Hands, Resmaa offers a path of internal reconciliation for a Person enduring the generational trauma of American racism, and gives us all a chance to dream of a healing from it.”―Keith Ellison, Member of Congress and Deputy Chair of the Democratic National Committee
"Resmaa Menakem cuts to the heart of America’s racial crisis with the precision of a surgeon in ways few have before. Addressing the intergenerational trauma of white supremacy and its effects on all of us―understanding it as a true soul wound―is the first order of business if we hope to pull out of the current morass. As this amazing work shows us, policies alone will not do it, and bold social action, though vital to achieving justice, will require those engaged in it to also take action on the injury, deep and personal, from which we all suffer.”―Tim Wise, bestselling author of White Like Me: Reflections on Race from a Privileged Son and Dear White America: Letter to a New Minority
“Forget diversity. Forget teaching tolerance. Forget white guilt. With clarity and insight, Resmaa offers a profoundly different approach to healing racism in America.”―John Friel, PhD and Linda Friel, MA, directors of ClearLife Clinic and New York Times bestselling co-authors of nine books including Adult Children: The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families
“As a career peace officer I entered this noble profession to serve my community, but I had never received any instruction in the police academy or been issued a piece of equipment that prepared me to recognize or examine community trauma . . . or my own. My Grandmother's Hands gave me a profound and compelling historical map tracing law enforcement’s role as sometimes unknowing contributors to community trauma. The book gives peace officers tools that can help in the healing of their communities and emphasizes self-care so that the men and women entrusted to be guardians and protectors of our communities are taken care of as well.”―Medaria Arradondo, Acting Chief, Minneapolis Police Department
“Offers a well needed paradigm shift on how we think, dream, and strategize against white supremacy in our bodies, cultures, and institutions. A must-have for anyone interested in advancing Racial Justice and healing.”―Chaka A. Mkali, Director of organizing and community building at Hope Community and Hip Hop artist I Self Devine
“Resmaa’s book is an intimate and direct look at the way the Black-white dynamic is held, not only in institutions such as policing, but also in the bodies of all of those involved. Building on Dr. DeGruy’s work in Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome, Resmaa looks at how history is held and replayed by the body’s survival responses, specifically focusing on the experience of Blackness and trauma, the history and experience of whiteness and the white body, and the creation of and experience of the police force and the body of the police. In addition to providing theory and analysis, this book also offers concrete practices that are part of the work of shifting the violence of [the] original wound.”―Susan Raffo, shared owner of Integral Somatic Therapy, bodyworker, writer, and community organizer, The People’s Movement Center
“My Grandmother's Hands is full of wisdom and understanding. In it, Resmaa Menakem offers a new way to understand racism and, more importantly, to heal it. This book lays out a path to freedom and peace, first for individual readers, then for our culture as a whole. A must-read for everyone who cares about our country.”―Nancy Van Dyken, LP, LICSW, author of Everyday Narcissism
“My Grandmother’s Hands is a gripping journey through the labyrinths of trauma and its effects on modern life, especially for African Americans. In this important book, Resmaa’s penetrating insight into trauma is profoundly impactful, but even more powerful and useful are his strategies for addressing it―for healing. A brilliant thinker, Resmaa is able to bring a multitude of research and experience together to guide us in our understanding of how trauma affects our lives; how trauma is a part of all of our lives; and of how the history and progression of trauma has produced a culture in which no one is immune. This is essential reading if we are to wrest ourselves from the grips of trauma and discover the tropes in which our bodies and our minds are free of it.”―Alexs Pate, author of Amistad and Losing Absalom
"My Grandmother’s Hands invites each of us to heal the racial trauma that lives in our bodies. As Resmaa Menakem explains, healing this trauma takes courage and a commitment to viscerally feel this racial pain. By skillfully combining therapy expertise with social criticism and practical guidance, he reveals a path forward for individual and collective healing that involves experiencing the sensations of this journey with each step. Are you willing to take the first step?”―Alex Haley, Assistant Professor at the University of Minnesota’s Earl E. Bakken Center for Spirituality & Healing
NY Journal of Books
Review by Jane Haile, October 23, 2017
An extremely interesting approach and a much-needed paradigm shift in the treatment of racialized trauma.
The Harlem Dispatch
Review by Kam Williams, October 9, 2017
Though the highly-charged subject-matter might ordinarily be controversial in nature, this text is written in a non-confrontational style apt to disarm, engage and enlighten readers, regardless of color or political persuasion. Kudos to Resmaa Menakem for such a sorely-needed seminal work which couldn’t be more practical or more timely, given this bitterly-divided country’s current state of race relations.
About the Author
RESMAA MENAKEM, MSW, LICSW, SEP, has appeared on both The Oprah Winfrey Show and Dr. Phil as an expert on conflict and violence. He has served as director of counseling services for the Tubman Family Alliance; as behavioral health director for African American Family Services in Minneapolis; as a domestic violence counselor for Wilder Foundation; as a certified Military and Family Life Consultant for the U.S. Armed Forces; as a trauma consultant for the Minneapolis Public Schools; and as a Cultural Somatics consultant for the Minneapolis Police Department. As a Community Care Counselor, he managed the wellness and counseling services for civilians on fifty-three US military bases in Afghanistan. Resmaa studied and trained at Peter Levine’s Somatic Experiencing Trauma Institute, as well as with Dr. David Schnarch (author of the bestselling Passionate Marriage) and Bessel van der Kolk, MD (author of the bestselling The Body Keeps the Score). He currently teaches workshops on Cultural Somatics for audiences of African Americans, European Americans, and police officers. He is also a therapist in private practice.
Product details
Publisher : Central Recovery Press; Illustrated edition (September 19, 2017)
Language : English
Paperback : 300 pages
4.8 out of 5 stars 4,419 ratings
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Resmaa Menakem, MSW, LICSW
Resmaa Menakem, MSW, LICSW, SEP is a therapist with decades of experience currently in private practice in Minneapolis, MN, specializing in trauma, body-centered psychotherapy, and violence prevention. He has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show and Dr. Phil as an expert on conflict and violence. Menakem has studied with bestselling authors Dr. David Schnarch (Passionate Marriage) and Dr. Bessel van der Kolk (The Body Keeps the Score). He also trained at Peter Levine's Somatic Experiencing Trauma Institute.
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4.8 out of 5 stars
Top reviews from the United States
Katherine Cameron
3.0 out of 5 stars TREATING RACISM AS TRAUMA - BUT DOES IT WORK?Reviewed in the United States on December 2, 2020
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Main thesis of book:
All humans have been traumatized by violence (witnessing, perpetrating, receiving, etc) over many centuries, and carry trauma in our bodies (and lizard brains), that gets in the way of self-control. This is a no-fault analysis, which is one of the rather novel and refreshing aspects of the book. We can’t "logic" our way out of racism, nor blame our way out of this. We have to tune into our bodies, do healing exercises, and learn to calm our bodies, so that we can be open and less afraid of each other across racial lines, and can open ourselves to information about our violent, racist history and institutional racism. Most particularly, the traumatized oppressors (white people) can’t expect the oppressed (black people) to do the work for them, or rescue them - white people have to do their own work, and establish their own leaders, rituals, and cultural practices to achieve this end. Only then can we come together as one human family.
What I liked:
• I particularly appreciated the “no fault” approach, because whether or not all white people carry trauma in their bodies from our historical experience of violence, I think it is a better approach for opening people to change - as opposed to stern accusations and blame.
• His first chapter or two on trauma, and how we carry it in our bodies over many years and generations, quite powerful and convincing (for a whole variety of traumas). However, I am dubious about his belief that trauma is imprinted in our genes in real time, and passed on to children. I am open to more information.
• His frequent recommendations to look to elders as part of a healing program. (We put a lot of elders in office in high places, but tend to consider this a “down side” (Biden, Pelosi, etc) .I notice that our society gives license to cruel and nasty jokes about older people all the time - even on my favorite shows. Ageism seems to be the one place where there is free license to be abusive and cruel, even by “progressives”. Catch SNL portrayal of Biden by Jim Carrey.
• While many exercises seemed pretty standard breath and related techniques, I did find some of the Body and Breath Exercises starting on page 141 imaginative and when tried , surprisingly fun and helpful, especially humming and buzzing.
What was less convincing and/or not so well-done:
• Above all, this is an incredibly repetitious book. It could be written in half the pages or less. While this is a common problem, I found this book to be about the worst case of repetition I have come across in a long, long time. You can skim vast portions of the book.
• His exercises for calming the body and learning to notice trauma (with exceptions noted above) seemed repetitious and would be familiar to many readers.
• His recommends certain “cures” such as EMDR and Reiki (last chapter of book) which have been discredited by many.
• A couple of times in the book he violates what I found best in his approach. He lets his guard down, and out pop comments like this (p. 271): This gives them (white people trying to help other whites change for the better) an opportunity to say to America’s overt white supremacists: “You’re a bunch of spoiled children. You think your whiteness makes you special. You aren’t. You think your whiteness entitles you to privileges and respect. It doesn’t. Grow up, start caring for your fellow human beings, and earn the respect you crave.” Anyone who has worked with the traumatized knows this is not usually an effective approach. The author should know better. What really encourages people to change?
• The author is essentially a-political in his analysis: Check out page 104, where he lays his cards on the table succinctly: “There is only one way through this stalemate. White Americans must accept, explore, and mend their centuries-old trauma around the oppression and victimization of white bodies by other, more powerful white bodies.” The more I think about this, the less convinced I am - especially given these past four Trump years. I am not sure we can wait for all these white people to "do the work", which may be forever. And I suspect (unproven!) that changing the economic conditions of oppressed peoples (black, NA, women, LBGTQ, Asian, folks with disabilities, poor/uneducated whites etc) - providing good jobs, quality education, housing, and health care - might get us there a lot sooner. And these are political acts, not rubbing one’s tummy and settling oneself down. It’s a long-standing debate: do you change people (more or less one by one) or do you change systems, and people will thrive and bloom in good ways.
• Here’s my most important concern: The author was a trainer for the Minneapolis police and wrote this book prior to the Floyd George killing. I don’t expect training to deliver 100%, but it calls attention to a really serious problem with all the kind of training programs going on around the country on racism: what works? What really changes people? Versus what makes a lot of money for the trainers or satisfies some business requirement? As with DiAngelo (White Fragility), (whom he praises, and who praises him on the book cover) - he benefits from a continuing, growing pool of customers. I hate to be a cynic, but this is a long-standing problem in the mental health field. I am big on “deliverables.” What REALLY inspires people to change? Prove to me that the training changes behaviors! I notice that with all the many chapters and many words in this book, there is no chapter on measurable results from his work.
You will be happy to hear that this about sums up my thoughts on this book. I would be more likely to recommend it for people who have been traumatized by something in their lives (abuse etc.) than for people working on racism issue, and because of the first two or three chapters. The book that had the biggest impact on me regarding my own racism and institutional racism and how to effect change has been MLK, Where Do We Go From Here: Chaos or Community - still so relevant - the last book he ever wrote. And The Fire Next Time by Baldwin.
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Chris J. Sorensen
5.0 out of 5 stars A new vision for healing in America, Resmaa Menakem wins hearts and minds!Reviewed in the United States on November 28, 2017
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My Grandmother's Hands is a new step towards healing racialized trauma by opening up our consciousness to our most vulnerable foundation, our bodies. As a white person who means well, it's not enough for words to heal but to feel and own how trauma affects all of us and provides a critical opening on how we can begin to heal and solve the core inequities present in everyday America and across the world. A bold and emotional journey, this book is a view of what civilization can aspire to and realistically achieve.
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Bradford L. Wade
2.0 out of 5 stars Excellent, but flawed by the author adding a dash of toxic masculinityReviewed in the United States on December 25, 2020
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Menakem does a fine job examining race and collective trauma. This is an important book about one of the biggest problems in the U.S. I have recommended this book to loved-ones. Buy it. But be prepared.
Menakem should know better than to speak as a therapist and draw readers into a trusting relationship, then ask us to picture him brutally killing a puppy in front of our eyes. It is a betrayal of his profession's ethics. At the very least, the chapter should have come with a trigger warning. Either that, or don't present yourself as a therapist. Pick one. As a trauma therapist, he must know that some of his readers have PTSD.
No big deal? Who cares? I do. Throughout my life, I have experienced trauma at the hands of men who are basically good guys --- most of the time --- but who have episodes where they feel justified in acting out toxic masculinity. I was a teen before I was allowed to have a pet, at which time I was allowed to bring an unwanted kitten into our home. This cat became very important to me, helping me deal with earlier emotional trauma. The attachment deepened over several years, then my father deliberately killed my pet. (At least I didn't have to watch him do it; I am thankful for that.)
As someone who has been studying racism for years, I understand and appreciate the author's noble goal. Maybe he felt the noble goal justified skipping the trigger warning so he could sneak up on his readers for greater impact? Who knows. Whatever the reason, it doesn't change that he added a little difficulty to a life that was already near the breaking point.
Collective and intergenerational trauma have huge impacts on our lives. That's an all-too-real experience for many of us. Yes, we can trace white supremacy back to much earlier white-on-white trauma in Europe. And it's important for people to know that history. But toxic masculinity came many centuries before that.
Racism and patriarchy are intertwined. Both need to be dismantled.
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BrandyV333
5.0 out of 5 stars If you're ready to start learning about racial trauma, this is a great place to startReviewed in the United States on April 10, 2018
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As a trauma therapist, I want to say that Resmaa's book is very well organized with clear descriptions of the most current understanding of trauma physiology and healing. There is a lot of preparation for the reader to help support us in our journey through difficult material, including how to manage difficult thoughts, emotions and sensations as they arise. There are a lot of wonderful exercises that people can use to learn how to work with racialized trauma in every chapter. As a white-bodied person, it has changed the way I relate with stories of racial violence. The idea is to metabolize our historical trauma so that we can make room for something new. For example, when I hear about another black-bodied young man being shot, I take a moment and feel the feelings that come up, rather then pushing them away or feeling helpless to change anything. I allow myself to feel the hurt and shame that my ancestors perpetrated atrocities on black-bodies that were perpetrated against them in historical times in Europe. If I can process these feelings, I might be less likely to recreate them in the present and future. Healing is an incremental process and an ongoing one.
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Top reviews from other countries
Bob S
5.0 out of 5 stars Wow.Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 8, 2020
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Buy, buy, buy - helped me have compassion both for white bodies and black bodies and all the shades in-between.
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BA
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book with practical ways to heal traumaReviewed in the United Kingdom on June 12, 2019
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This book really gets to the bottom of the root causes of trauma and how it affects the body . The exercises when oracticed can create emotional resiliency .
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L. Costello
5.0 out of 5 stars Racialized trauma is in everyone's historyReviewed in Canada on July 23, 2020
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Resmaa Menakem has created a space in which we can all attend to our own trauma. He explains the nature of racialized trauma and how trauma predisposes people to behaviours that re-traumatize. He creates a call to all of us to heal our own distress so that then we can be bodies of calm and safety in a world that feels unsafe to so many. The book is practical, offering simple (but not simplistic) tools to practice for self-healing.
I am a somatic psychotherapist, working with traumatized bodies and minds, and Resmaa's book had new ideas to offer to me. We think of trauma as an individual experience but it is much more, and the intergenerational effects are relevant. I appreciate having this book as a resource and hope that many will read and use it.
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Jessica North-O'Connell
5.0 out of 5 stars A necessary read for everyoneReviewed in Canada on July 18, 2020
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It's time everyone looked at their own trauma and psycho-emotional damage, because that stuff is ages old now and will not move us forward as sentient beings. Working with this book is a good way to start that process. The author presents concepts in a way that is easy for anyone to understand and the book contains numerous exercises to help the reader reconnect with their bodies, minds and emotions.
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Adrienne
4.0 out of 5 stars It was difficult to do the exercisesReviewed in Canada on July 4, 2021
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I bought this book as part of Stone Yoga School course reading - loved the ideas and concepts, a lot of stuff really changed my perspectives on racial trauma. The only thing was that I couldn't do the exercises with authencity because I don't have any black bodies around me - I live in a city where there is a lot of East Indians and mostly white bodies...so when she asked me to feel how I feel when I see a black body experiencing something awful - I can't...I had to place myself in like a news cast - I also live in Canada and most black bodies I've ever run into work very hard to take care of their families.
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I had been so excited to finally find a book about trauma that talked about the ways that racism and systemic oppression inflict trauma, and this book was a starting point but not fully there. If you can get past the cop apologia (his brother is a cop, and he trains police departments), the offensive language (e.g. “yellow bodies” and “red bodies”), some fatphobia, and the whole concept of “police bodies,” there are a lot of gems in here — particularly in part 2. There are specific breathing exercises and strategies to help settle your body and, as Menakem writes, act "from the best parts of yourself." I also really appreciated the ideas about how to better protect ourselves from internalizing oppression, not just on a cognitive level but on a somatic level. That said, the gaps in here reinforced for me that we need both cognitive and somatic approaches. For prison and police abolitionists, I recommend skipping the chapters on police entirely, as Menakem believes that cops just need to be trained to heal their trauma in order to end police violence. It felt particularly strange to me that he was able to trace the history of white people's violence, but when it came to policing, he made it seem as though policing in the U.S. was once useful for protecting communities and somehow lost its way, which seemed ahistorical. The first two chapters of part 3 are very good, but the rest of the chapters in that section are redundant. I think I would’ve given the book 4 stars if I had known in advance to skip those chapters. (less)
Aug 11, 2019Lawrence rated it it was amazing
Shelves: all-black-everything, healing, movement, somatics, race
**What are the main ideas?**
* white supremacy is more accurately called white-body supremacy. it's got less to do with supremacy of white skin and more to do with supremacy of bodies that are considered white. this could be seen as semantic but is quite helpful.
* white-body supremacy lives in our BODIES; it's in our blood, dna, flesh, and the pre-cognitive parts of our brains (aka the lizard brain).
* as such, trainings that focus on the mind as the site from which to undo white-body supremacy will never be enough.
* undoing white-body supremacy is first and foremost a somatic endeavor. the cognitive/thinking parts will flow second (because the lizard brain, the part tied to our vegus nerve, is both faster than cognition AND the vegus nerve can override cognition).
* clean pain is when you know that a difficult thing needs to be done, you know what that thing is, and you do it because healing/growth are on the other side. dirty pain is all the subsequent pain when clean pain is avoided.
* a settled body accepts attempts at healing (clean pain). an unsettled body rejects attempts at healing (and therefore creates dirty pain).
* settling your body is not the same as healing, but you will improve your capacity to heal when you can settle your body.
* the trauma of american slavery is rooted in the trauma of european bodies through the middle ages. whipping and hangings started in europe because they were brought to the u.s. the people who brought slaves to the u.s. need to heal their ancestral trauma in order for folks on this soil to move forward.
**If I implemented one idea from this book right now, which one would it be?**
* anti-racism work is somatic. we need to create opportunities for people's actual bodies to learn how to have non-traumatic responses to bodies that they have lizard brain reactions to. those reactions that are based in trauma, are not helpful because they are knee-jerk and not intentional or conscious.
**How would I describe the book to a friend?**
this is a theoretical guide book and instruction manual for how to actually undo white(-body) supremacy. (less)
* white supremacy is more accurately called white-body supremacy. it's got less to do with supremacy of white skin and more to do with supremacy of bodies that are considered white. this could be seen as semantic but is quite helpful.
* white-body supremacy lives in our BODIES; it's in our blood, dna, flesh, and the pre-cognitive parts of our brains (aka the lizard brain).
* as such, trainings that focus on the mind as the site from which to undo white-body supremacy will never be enough.
* undoing white-body supremacy is first and foremost a somatic endeavor. the cognitive/thinking parts will flow second (because the lizard brain, the part tied to our vegus nerve, is both faster than cognition AND the vegus nerve can override cognition).
* clean pain is when you know that a difficult thing needs to be done, you know what that thing is, and you do it because healing/growth are on the other side. dirty pain is all the subsequent pain when clean pain is avoided.
* a settled body accepts attempts at healing (clean pain). an unsettled body rejects attempts at healing (and therefore creates dirty pain).
* settling your body is not the same as healing, but you will improve your capacity to heal when you can settle your body.
* the trauma of american slavery is rooted in the trauma of european bodies through the middle ages. whipping and hangings started in europe because they were brought to the u.s. the people who brought slaves to the u.s. need to heal their ancestral trauma in order for folks on this soil to move forward.
**If I implemented one idea from this book right now, which one would it be?**
* anti-racism work is somatic. we need to create opportunities for people's actual bodies to learn how to have non-traumatic responses to bodies that they have lizard brain reactions to. those reactions that are based in trauma, are not helpful because they are knee-jerk and not intentional or conscious.
**How would I describe the book to a friend?**
this is a theoretical guide book and instruction manual for how to actually undo white(-body) supremacy. (less)
Jun 18, 2018Erika Sanders rated it it was amazing
I've studied racism and been part of anti-racism work for over 25 years, and I have to say, this book is one of the most valuable pieces of work on the topic that I've read. Menakem's teachings don't replace or supplant other racial liberation tactics or philosophies, but instead give us a fresh way to expand how we understand the lived racial experience we ALL have. It gives us another road into this work, a road that seems essential to travel, even as we commit and recommit ourselves to multiple additional types of racial liberation work. Plus, Menakem's writing style is accessible, clear and blunt - just what this topic needs.
It feels hokey and overblown to say, but I'll say it anyway - this should be on the reading list of anyone and everyone who cares about racial justice and liberation in the US. (less)
It feels hokey and overblown to say, but I'll say it anyway - this should be on the reading list of anyone and everyone who cares about racial justice and liberation in the US. (less)
Jul 18, 2020Jenny (Reading Envy) rated it it was amazing
Shelves: ebooks, read2020, hoopla, meditation
"A calm, settled body is the foundation for health, for healing, for helping others, and for changing the world."
I’ve been reading this book s-l-o-w-l-y because the author wants the reader to stop and actually do the practices. There is a lot here about dealing with racialized trauma, not only for individuals but within communities. Specific practices are for black people, and others for white people. There are several chapters about rethinking how police are trained to deal with trauma as well.
If you know mindfulness practices, some of the practices here will be familiar if not quite the same. The strategies for settling the body are definitely some I will be working with.
He ends the book with a challenge for transforming communities and everyday activism. I read this in Hoopla but need to buy it as it isn’t possible to absorb it all the first time. (less)
I’ve been reading this book s-l-o-w-l-y because the author wants the reader to stop and actually do the practices. There is a lot here about dealing with racialized trauma, not only for individuals but within communities. Specific practices are for black people, and others for white people. There are several chapters about rethinking how police are trained to deal with trauma as well.
If you know mindfulness practices, some of the practices here will be familiar if not quite the same. The strategies for settling the body are definitely some I will be working with.
He ends the book with a challenge for transforming communities and everyday activism. I read this in Hoopla but need to buy it as it isn’t possible to absorb it all the first time. (less)
Jul 18, 2020Eli rated it it was ok
I'm real tempted to justify my whole two-star review by simply reporting that the author advocates police officers taking bubble baths as a significant part of the solution to police brutality.
But there's more to talk about. So here's the long version.
I wanted so badly to like this. The premise of this book is really deeply compelling. Unfortunately the author doesn't elaborate much on his initial ideas, beyond compiling other people's work and not explaining it very well. He indicates concepts instead of teaching them. If you haven't explored white fragility or moral injury or somatic healing in other contexts, this might break some ground for you and be valuable for that reason. But all subjects brought up here have deeper and more competent treatments available elsewhere. And the parts here touching on police violence are just an absolute wreck.
The body awareness exercises here include:
- entirely intellect-oriented exercises with "and how does your body feel?" added on at the end, which isn't actual body work;
- unexpected and untagged visualizations of stressful or traumatic situations, which is a poor decision for a book that purports to work respectfully with trauma;
- and some rudimentary, superficial body practices around trauma, vaguely explained and often "supported" by inaccurate neurological explanations.
The depth of the embodiment work here is a disappointment, rarely exploring further than insights like 'antiracist leaders should find a signature garment to wear to inspire solidarity'.
Phrases like soul nerve, and clean pain vs dirty pain, are introduced as vital concepts but only clumsily and superficially handled. Also included is generalized diet and weight loss advice, which is inappropriate for anyone serious about bodywork.
As mentioned above, his analysis of police violence is... woefully inadequate. He does give lip service to the violent history of the system. But he is then overwhelmingly focused on what roles job stress and unintended blunders play in cops killing Black folks, insisting that cops being relaxed enough (he mentions essential oils as well as massage) will impact this juggernaut system stacked against Black folks. The chapter on police body healing involves solutions ranging from cosmetic to invasive in nature, as though cops showing up at Black churches on Sunday morning will fix the carceral state. There's a lack of consistency -- in one chapter, he specifies that police have in fact become an occupying force in Black communities; in another chapter, he shames civilians who see them as that occupying force. It's important that the reader know that the author makes his living in part by training police departments in "self-care" practices - including the Minnneapolis PD where he lives - and he has law enforcement in his immediate family (both of which he is upfront about). This no doubt impacts his working assumptions that policing has fallen away from noble roots it never had, and that the central problem embedded bodily in the system now is just that the job of policing is too stressful.
This is a book that vaguely points toward a lot of good ideas. Just saying that bodies CAN heal from racial violence is indeed powerful and important. We need more somatic work done on racialized trauma. But we need it to be actual body work, not mislabelled cognitive self-reflection, and not a hodge-podge of basic relaxation and simple body-scanning techniques. And we need this work to come out of a context that takes police brutality seriously, that doesn't minimize it or advocate police rescuing more cats from trees as a band-aid for it (and yes, that is another actual suggestion from the book). (less)
But there's more to talk about. So here's the long version.
I wanted so badly to like this. The premise of this book is really deeply compelling. Unfortunately the author doesn't elaborate much on his initial ideas, beyond compiling other people's work and not explaining it very well. He indicates concepts instead of teaching them. If you haven't explored white fragility or moral injury or somatic healing in other contexts, this might break some ground for you and be valuable for that reason. But all subjects brought up here have deeper and more competent treatments available elsewhere. And the parts here touching on police violence are just an absolute wreck.
The body awareness exercises here include:
- entirely intellect-oriented exercises with "and how does your body feel?" added on at the end, which isn't actual body work;
- unexpected and untagged visualizations of stressful or traumatic situations, which is a poor decision for a book that purports to work respectfully with trauma;
- and some rudimentary, superficial body practices around trauma, vaguely explained and often "supported" by inaccurate neurological explanations.
The depth of the embodiment work here is a disappointment, rarely exploring further than insights like 'antiracist leaders should find a signature garment to wear to inspire solidarity'.
Phrases like soul nerve, and clean pain vs dirty pain, are introduced as vital concepts but only clumsily and superficially handled. Also included is generalized diet and weight loss advice, which is inappropriate for anyone serious about bodywork.
As mentioned above, his analysis of police violence is... woefully inadequate. He does give lip service to the violent history of the system. But he is then overwhelmingly focused on what roles job stress and unintended blunders play in cops killing Black folks, insisting that cops being relaxed enough (he mentions essential oils as well as massage) will impact this juggernaut system stacked against Black folks. The chapter on police body healing involves solutions ranging from cosmetic to invasive in nature, as though cops showing up at Black churches on Sunday morning will fix the carceral state. There's a lack of consistency -- in one chapter, he specifies that police have in fact become an occupying force in Black communities; in another chapter, he shames civilians who see them as that occupying force. It's important that the reader know that the author makes his living in part by training police departments in "self-care" practices - including the Minnneapolis PD where he lives - and he has law enforcement in his immediate family (both of which he is upfront about). This no doubt impacts his working assumptions that policing has fallen away from noble roots it never had, and that the central problem embedded bodily in the system now is just that the job of policing is too stressful.
This is a book that vaguely points toward a lot of good ideas. Just saying that bodies CAN heal from racial violence is indeed powerful and important. We need more somatic work done on racialized trauma. But we need it to be actual body work, not mislabelled cognitive self-reflection, and not a hodge-podge of basic relaxation and simple body-scanning techniques. And we need this work to come out of a context that takes police brutality seriously, that doesn't minimize it or advocate police rescuing more cats from trees as a band-aid for it (and yes, that is another actual suggestion from the book). (less)
**** 2.25 Stars ****
My Grandmother's Hands was an interesting book about racialized trauma and its effects on our bodies.
While the concept of the book sounds brilliant, I was a bit disappointed with its content.
-The book is divided in 3 parts. The first part is pretty much Resmaa Menakem stating the same thing over and over and preparing the reader for what his book is going to be about. I found this to be unnecessary and a waste of time. I just wanted him to get to the point. There was no need for him to mention multiple times what books he wrote, what TV shows he's been on, or how his brother is a police officer. It was extremely redundant.
-Once you get past part 1, the book becomes interesting. It talks about how racialized trauma can pass from one generation to another and how we are all victims of it and we need to heal in order to move forward. The books also touches on police brutality in the US and how it can improve. I did not agree with this part in particular because it implied that the policing system is a good system found on good intentions and that once it heals, it will get better. I think the problem of police brutality in the US is much bigger than that.
-The book also has useful breathing exercises and other strategies to help cope with trauma and heal it.
-I found Menakem's use of language to be offensive sometimes. For example, he continuously refers to indigenous people as "red bodies" and Asian people as "yellow bodies" which I think is ignorant and reinforces a stereotype. I found it inappropriate in a book that deals with racialized trauma and systematic racism in general.
-I also noticed stereotypical ideas about weight and overweight people. I did not appreciate that and I do not think it was necessary at all.
I think I expected a lot more from this book and I went into it with high expectations. But once I started reading it, I was disappointed. The book is not bad, but it is not great either. It has some useful information on racialized trauma and healing and the exercises provided are really useful. But it had many flaws and I couldn't get past them. (less)
My Grandmother's Hands was an interesting book about racialized trauma and its effects on our bodies.
While the concept of the book sounds brilliant, I was a bit disappointed with its content.
-The book is divided in 3 parts. The first part is pretty much Resmaa Menakem stating the same thing over and over and preparing the reader for what his book is going to be about. I found this to be unnecessary and a waste of time. I just wanted him to get to the point. There was no need for him to mention multiple times what books he wrote, what TV shows he's been on, or how his brother is a police officer. It was extremely redundant.
-Once you get past part 1, the book becomes interesting. It talks about how racialized trauma can pass from one generation to another and how we are all victims of it and we need to heal in order to move forward. The books also touches on police brutality in the US and how it can improve. I did not agree with this part in particular because it implied that the policing system is a good system found on good intentions and that once it heals, it will get better. I think the problem of police brutality in the US is much bigger than that.
-The book also has useful breathing exercises and other strategies to help cope with trauma and heal it.
-I found Menakem's use of language to be offensive sometimes. For example, he continuously refers to indigenous people as "red bodies" and Asian people as "yellow bodies" which I think is ignorant and reinforces a stereotype. I found it inappropriate in a book that deals with racialized trauma and systematic racism in general.
-I also noticed stereotypical ideas about weight and overweight people. I did not appreciate that and I do not think it was necessary at all.
I think I expected a lot more from this book and I went into it with high expectations. But once I started reading it, I was disappointed. The book is not bad, but it is not great either. It has some useful information on racialized trauma and healing and the exercises provided are really useful. But it had many flaws and I couldn't get past them. (less)
I don't even know where to start with a review of this book. It is such a powerful addition to the conversation about trauma, about white supremacy, about bodily healing of trauma -- and specifically the way that bodies hold the trauma of white body supremacy. The trauma is not only held by bodies of color, and this author actually addresses bodies of color, white bodies, and law enforcement bodies each individually, as well as collective/communal healing of all bodies. There is a lot of unpacking of what types of somatic healing are necessary to help bring about an end to racial violence -- and the ways that we can engage in that work individually and with groups of trusted comrades. Menakem uses a synopsis feature at the end of each chapter that has been so helpful to me as I have gone back and forth between chapters, re-engaging with ideas shared previously, and also has body/breath practice activities throughout the chapters that I found so valuable.
There is way more to be said about this book -- and I may return to say some of it later. Until then, this book ranks up there with Bessel Van Der Kolk's 'The Body Keeps the Score' in terms of resources for considering the healing required for trauma -- racial, sexual, war-related, intergenerational, and even genetically coded. All trauma requires healing that uses mind, body, and soul. (less)
There is way more to be said about this book -- and I may return to say some of it later. Until then, this book ranks up there with Bessel Van Der Kolk's 'The Body Keeps the Score' in terms of resources for considering the healing required for trauma -- racial, sexual, war-related, intergenerational, and even genetically coded. All trauma requires healing that uses mind, body, and soul. (less)
It’s weird to me that so many activists quote this book that tells us we must be BOTH pro black and pro police. 1/3 of the book is like about how police should do yoga, put black children on their laps, and the like to live up to their potential as community hero’s. At the same time he doesn’t completely skim over our current reality either, but it’s very inconsistent across the book in terms of the view of police officers and culture change that we get.
Does anyone really think cops are the primary readers of books on unpacking somatic anti blackness? There are whole chapters on anti racist self care for cops where they could exist for teachers, nurses or literally anyone else....? There’s more in this book about the importance of cops taking bubble baths and applying essential oils than there is a deep explanation of trauma recovery exercises. Im in the minority of finding it much less revelatory or informative as many others.
There’s useful breathing and visualizations in here that I intend to work with more regularly to my best ability. None of the self care mechanisms really shocked me, but with more work maybe we’ll see. Ugh. (less)
Does anyone really think cops are the primary readers of books on unpacking somatic anti blackness? There are whole chapters on anti racist self care for cops where they could exist for teachers, nurses or literally anyone else....? There’s more in this book about the importance of cops taking bubble baths and applying essential oils than there is a deep explanation of trauma recovery exercises. Im in the minority of finding it much less revelatory or informative as many others.
There’s useful breathing and visualizations in here that I intend to work with more regularly to my best ability. None of the self care mechanisms really shocked me, but with more work maybe we’ll see. Ugh. (less)
Nov 17, 2017Novel Addiction rated it it was amazing
What impressed me most about 'My Grandmother's Hands', was how well author Resmaa Menakem tackled the controversial topic that is racism. He was made no accusations, and doesn't lecture the reader. He isn't saying that all white people are racist or all black people are distrustful. What he suggests – rather convincingly – is that racial prejudice can be carried within our bodies, caused by the traumatic experiences of those that came before us. I loved how personal and insightful this book was, it has the capacity to change a lot of lives. The experiences of the generations before us, may have marked our souls, but we don't have to pass that mark onto the next generation. (less)
Ooh, wow, this book is kind of a mess. I can't in good conscience recommend it... there's just so much that felt very "off" to me. I definitely DO NOT recommend reading it if you're in favor of abolishing the police. The author's brother is a cop and the author seems to make a living doing various "trainings" with cops. There are some really wild suggestions in the book... the author suggests community organizers cozy up to cops and actually offer to WASH THEIR FEET. He also talks about how cops ...more
Jun 23, 2018Anne Phyfe Palmer rated it it was amazing
Trauma is held in the body. And many (including me) believe that all Americans carry in our bodies the incredible trauma of the past four hundred years of American history, whether unconsciously or not. In this generous book, Resmaa Menakem, MSW, gives reader a context for this trauma, and a pathway to mend it, through the body. His background as a practitioner trained in Somatic Experiencing offers a rich layering of understanding that I found immediately helpful.
I learned a great deal from this book, especially from the practices you are required to do before continuing. In one practice, you simply imagine someone sitting across from you with their arms crossed in front of their body, a scowl on their face. I sat in bed, reading, totally relaxed, and consciously safe. As I visualized this person, I felt as if worms were literally crawling up by shoulders and neck. The creep of tension was completely out of my control. I was left with more of a visceral awareness of my autonomic nervous system and curious about the constant tension in bodies that are perpetually watched, and on the watch, blamed, and blaming, hated, and hating.
I strongly recommend this book, and would love to have a discussion with anyone else who wants to talk. (less)
I learned a great deal from this book, especially from the practices you are required to do before continuing. In one practice, you simply imagine someone sitting across from you with their arms crossed in front of their body, a scowl on their face. I sat in bed, reading, totally relaxed, and consciously safe. As I visualized this person, I felt as if worms were literally crawling up by shoulders and neck. The creep of tension was completely out of my control. I was left with more of a visceral awareness of my autonomic nervous system and curious about the constant tension in bodies that are perpetually watched, and on the watch, blamed, and blaming, hated, and hating.
I strongly recommend this book, and would love to have a discussion with anyone else who wants to talk. (less)
Jul 04, 2020Mehrsa rated it it was amazing
While I have to admit that I did not do any of the body exercises, I absolutely loved this book. I listened to Resmaa's interview with Krista Tippett and was blown away by his insights about racial trauma and the body. It seems so right to me and the book was just really good in showing how one might help heal that. It's not a scientific book, but you can read "the body keeps the score" as a background text with some of the more scientific background, but this book is meant to be acted on and I think it's essential reading for anyone and everyone. At least you should listen to the On Being podcast interview. (less)
How are you still doing the work of dismantling racism?
.
My summer of learning comes to a close, and on Monday, I begin a school year marked by remote teaching. So I couldn't be happier with my last book of the summer. Since this book is on backorder just about everywhere, I had to settle for the audiobook.
Ever since hearing Resmaa Menakem in conversation with Krista Tippett for her *on being* podcast (twice!), I knew I had to read this book. Menakem proposes that we'll not achieve racial healing and cultural change with solely cognitive understandings or political/activist strategy. It is through achieving a "settling" within our bodies that we can personally and collectively heal/break the cycle of generational trauma. And this has SO MANY implications for teaching; teachers CAN be healers and CAN create classroom culture that is safe, healthy, and inclusive.
I've spent my entire life trying to feel comfortable in my body, and I'm still getting there. Fiction books about trauma often get under my skin (in the best possible way)and can be like a balm when couched with depictions of love and healthy relationships. What Menakem offers here that works so well in conjunction with that literature is a reminder that we are bodies as well as minds, *even when we read.* And in most situations, we are bodies first.
On Monday I meet my students virtually. But I plan to integrate meditation and mindfulness and some of Menakem's breathing techniques every week--poetry one day, mindfulness the other. If you are able to get your hands on a physical copy of this book, you are in luck! I recommend the print version for all the mindfulness exercises, which I'm bound to return to often. The audiobook was still pretty great and you get instant access, and this is urgent content. (less)
.
My summer of learning comes to a close, and on Monday, I begin a school year marked by remote teaching. So I couldn't be happier with my last book of the summer. Since this book is on backorder just about everywhere, I had to settle for the audiobook.
Ever since hearing Resmaa Menakem in conversation with Krista Tippett for her *on being* podcast (twice!), I knew I had to read this book. Menakem proposes that we'll not achieve racial healing and cultural change with solely cognitive understandings or political/activist strategy. It is through achieving a "settling" within our bodies that we can personally and collectively heal/break the cycle of generational trauma. And this has SO MANY implications for teaching; teachers CAN be healers and CAN create classroom culture that is safe, healthy, and inclusive.
I've spent my entire life trying to feel comfortable in my body, and I'm still getting there. Fiction books about trauma often get under my skin (in the best possible way)and can be like a balm when couched with depictions of love and healthy relationships. What Menakem offers here that works so well in conjunction with that literature is a reminder that we are bodies as well as minds, *even when we read.* And in most situations, we are bodies first.
On Monday I meet my students virtually. But I plan to integrate meditation and mindfulness and some of Menakem's breathing techniques every week--poetry one day, mindfulness the other. If you are able to get your hands on a physical copy of this book, you are in luck! I recommend the print version for all the mindfulness exercises, which I'm bound to return to often. The audiobook was still pretty great and you get instant access, and this is urgent content. (less)
May 25, 2022jenny✨ marked it as dnf · review of another edition
DNF @ 74%.
i'd heard wonderful things about this book from my friends who are social workers and therapists, which made me all the more disappointed when i realized this was not going to be the book for me. i appreciated reading resmaa menakem's wisdom about somatic healing and the ways that trauma and resilience manifest in our bodies. however, i did not enjoy the fatphobia or apologia for police, and i didn't realize that a significant chunk of the book would be spent discussing the trauma of white folks and police. personally, i am not interested in reading about these topics. i also don't know how i feel about the emphasis on white supremacy and structural racism as, primarily, trauma responses and epigenetics within (white) individuals. moreover, i found the writing in this book to be repetitive - particularly in part 1, where we're frequently told what we are about to be told in ensuing chapters. that being said, i enjoyed learning the somatic and grounding strategies that menakem teaches throughout the book. (less)
i'd heard wonderful things about this book from my friends who are social workers and therapists, which made me all the more disappointed when i realized this was not going to be the book for me. i appreciated reading resmaa menakem's wisdom about somatic healing and the ways that trauma and resilience manifest in our bodies. however, i did not enjoy the fatphobia or apologia for police, and i didn't realize that a significant chunk of the book would be spent discussing the trauma of white folks and police. personally, i am not interested in reading about these topics. i also don't know how i feel about the emphasis on white supremacy and structural racism as, primarily, trauma responses and epigenetics within (white) individuals. moreover, i found the writing in this book to be repetitive - particularly in part 1, where we're frequently told what we are about to be told in ensuing chapters. that being said, i enjoyed learning the somatic and grounding strategies that menakem teaches throughout the book. (less)
May 14, 2020Mike rated it it was ok · review of another edition
Major disappointment
The author knows about trauma and trauma therapy. He has also experienced racism. However, he decided not to research racism and issues surrounding it, but relying only on his personal experience and popular notions. If he had stuck to what he knows, he could have written a shorter and more effective book.
As it stands, he wrote a book that excuses white people from their responsibility in white supremacy social systems by individualizing racism as an epigenetic history of biological trauma. Poor, misunderstood white supremacists are suffering their own trauma that must be healed. Changing laws, systems, policies, and so forth are useless; however, black Americans be patient for a multigenerational, abstract, metaphorical culture change. Perhaps, the author should have consulted some current works on cultural anthropology before making claims about changing the "culture". Of course, it fits his pattern, where he writes about history without consulting actual works by historians, thus writing invented histories based on his imaginative rememberings of stories he's heard.
My advice is, if you are interested in learning more about racial issues and overcoming racism, pick up a different book. (less)
The author knows about trauma and trauma therapy. He has also experienced racism. However, he decided not to research racism and issues surrounding it, but relying only on his personal experience and popular notions. If he had stuck to what he knows, he could have written a shorter and more effective book.
As it stands, he wrote a book that excuses white people from their responsibility in white supremacy social systems by individualizing racism as an epigenetic history of biological trauma. Poor, misunderstood white supremacists are suffering their own trauma that must be healed. Changing laws, systems, policies, and so forth are useless; however, black Americans be patient for a multigenerational, abstract, metaphorical culture change. Perhaps, the author should have consulted some current works on cultural anthropology before making claims about changing the "culture". Of course, it fits his pattern, where he writes about history without consulting actual works by historians, thus writing invented histories based on his imaginative rememberings of stories he's heard.
My advice is, if you are interested in learning more about racial issues and overcoming racism, pick up a different book. (less)
Dec 27, 2020Alma rated it it was amazing
Would recommend this book to everyone who reposted that quote on insta about the trauma white people hold in a white supremacist society, therapists, and anyone who liked the body keeps the score (so therapists). Really I would recommend this book to everyone I know, if they were willing to read it.
I think this book provided a really nuanced view of racial and intergenerational trauma, and the trauma of living in our unhealthy society for a variety of different populations (white, black, and police). I can definitely see how some people may criticize this book for the frame of white trauma and police trauma, thinking about how this plays into false white fragility. However, I really think that the author speaks on white fragility frequently throughout the book and is just holding space for both and, for nuance, and he does so with accountability for white people and police officers. We all come to each moment with all the moments we’ve experienced in the past, and the experiences we’ve metabolized from our ancestors, so I think that’s a frame we do need to look at. And if it’s too off-putting to read those chapters (I didn’t find it so), I think you could gain a lot by skipping those chapters and reading only the chapters focusing on people of color. (less)
I think this book provided a really nuanced view of racial and intergenerational trauma, and the trauma of living in our unhealthy society for a variety of different populations (white, black, and police). I can definitely see how some people may criticize this book for the frame of white trauma and police trauma, thinking about how this plays into false white fragility. However, I really think that the author speaks on white fragility frequently throughout the book and is just holding space for both and, for nuance, and he does so with accountability for white people and police officers. We all come to each moment with all the moments we’ve experienced in the past, and the experiences we’ve metabolized from our ancestors, so I think that’s a frame we do need to look at. And if it’s too off-putting to read those chapters (I didn’t find it so), I think you could gain a lot by skipping those chapters and reading only the chapters focusing on people of color. (less)
Aug 31, 2020A. Breeze Harper rated it it was amazing · review of another edition
Excellent trauma-informed analysis of antiBlack racism & healing
This book was a great and informative read. I appreciated the approach of using trauma-informed practices to understand how racial healing is most likely only possible once everyone engages in the process of “clean pain” vs. “dirty pain.”
This book was a great and informative read. I appreciated the approach of using trauma-informed practices to understand how racial healing is most likely only possible once everyone engages in the process of “clean pain” vs. “dirty pain.”
I like reviews that have pull-out quotes from the book folks have just finished. With this book, I flagged so many quotes, I would've almost been transcribing chapters at a time -- so I'll just share my review!
This powerful book is part educational experience, part healing journey. It is written by a Black cis-male therapist, Resmaa Menakem, who has expertise in helping people heal from trauma. The main focus is that the trauma caused by racism goes back generations and lives in our bodies; therefore, the only way forward toward healing is to deal with that trauma. (This is a REALLY watered-down summary; he is/does much more than this, and the book is about much more as well).
Mr. Menakem specifically addresses people with three types of bodies in this book: Black bodies, white bodies, and police bodies (independent of other characteristics/skin color). Even though he specifies when he is talking to any one of these groups of people, he encourages all readers to read all chapters. This, to me, was an invaluable part of the process of this book.
He also includes some activities that I strongly urge anyone who reads this book to do. As a white person, I struggled at first with the concept of how racism would live in my white body, as I have not suffered from it. What became so clear to me, however, is that the trauma of the history of white bodies perpetuating the harshest, most inhumane forms of racism absolutely lives in our bodies -- as does the ways in which our present-day commissions of micro aggressions and reinforcement of white supremacy, and the trauma that our presence as white-bodied people can cause BIPOC just by existing. If we as white-bodied people want to show up more completely and effectively as allies and in proactively working to be anti-racist and pro-equality, we have our own healing to do.
This book does not center whiteness; far from it. My review is speaking to the impact of the book on me as a white-bodied person because that is one of my identities and realities. Everyone's experience will be unique to them. For that and so many other reasons, I strongly recommend this book no matter your body or your experiences living in it. (less)
This powerful book is part educational experience, part healing journey. It is written by a Black cis-male therapist, Resmaa Menakem, who has expertise in helping people heal from trauma. The main focus is that the trauma caused by racism goes back generations and lives in our bodies; therefore, the only way forward toward healing is to deal with that trauma. (This is a REALLY watered-down summary; he is/does much more than this, and the book is about much more as well).
Mr. Menakem specifically addresses people with three types of bodies in this book: Black bodies, white bodies, and police bodies (independent of other characteristics/skin color). Even though he specifies when he is talking to any one of these groups of people, he encourages all readers to read all chapters. This, to me, was an invaluable part of the process of this book.
He also includes some activities that I strongly urge anyone who reads this book to do. As a white person, I struggled at first with the concept of how racism would live in my white body, as I have not suffered from it. What became so clear to me, however, is that the trauma of the history of white bodies perpetuating the harshest, most inhumane forms of racism absolutely lives in our bodies -- as does the ways in which our present-day commissions of micro aggressions and reinforcement of white supremacy, and the trauma that our presence as white-bodied people can cause BIPOC just by existing. If we as white-bodied people want to show up more completely and effectively as allies and in proactively working to be anti-racist and pro-equality, we have our own healing to do.
This book does not center whiteness; far from it. My review is speaking to the impact of the book on me as a white-bodied person because that is one of my identities and realities. Everyone's experience will be unique to them. For that and so many other reasons, I strongly recommend this book no matter your body or your experiences living in it. (less)
This adds such an important somatic lens for anti-racist conversations and work. I highly recommend this book for white people, as the exercises and suggestions helped me feel out the white supremacy my body holds and figure out regular practices that can help weaken or release it.
However, this book only covers anti-Black racism coming from white people and police officers. Anti-indigenous racism is such a central experience for white people in America, it feels incomplete to not address its role in white body supremacy, but since the author is Black, it makes sense that he's speaking to what he knows (though it would have been that much more powerful to co-author with an Indigenous person). And while the book has chapters for Black readers, non-Black POC aren't addressed in this book.
Resmaa Menakem is also pretty tight with police in his life, with his brother being an officer and a lot of his own work being with the Minneapolis Police Department. While I sympathize that police officers are also human beings and it's essential that someone does the work of making them less harmful, I'm not as hopeful as the author that the institution of policing can be reformed. One of his tips was to smile and greet police officers at protests and marches, with the reasoning that they'll be less likely to brutalize protesters if we can calm their nervous systems through these interactions. I see that logic, but I also think it's complicated for white people to do that at BLM actions.
There were definitely some other suggestions that I found a little odd - like white people renaming themselves after civil rights figures as a way of committing to a healthier white identity. I think if a white person I knew renamed themselves Rosa Parks Smith, I would find it off-putting and performative.
But overall, despite our political (and perhaps generational?) differences, I still recommend that white people in particular read this, as I haven't read anything else that looks at whiteness in quite this way. (less)
However, this book only covers anti-Black racism coming from white people and police officers. Anti-indigenous racism is such a central experience for white people in America, it feels incomplete to not address its role in white body supremacy, but since the author is Black, it makes sense that he's speaking to what he knows (though it would have been that much more powerful to co-author with an Indigenous person). And while the book has chapters for Black readers, non-Black POC aren't addressed in this book.
Resmaa Menakem is also pretty tight with police in his life, with his brother being an officer and a lot of his own work being with the Minneapolis Police Department. While I sympathize that police officers are also human beings and it's essential that someone does the work of making them less harmful, I'm not as hopeful as the author that the institution of policing can be reformed. One of his tips was to smile and greet police officers at protests and marches, with the reasoning that they'll be less likely to brutalize protesters if we can calm their nervous systems through these interactions. I see that logic, but I also think it's complicated for white people to do that at BLM actions.
There were definitely some other suggestions that I found a little odd - like white people renaming themselves after civil rights figures as a way of committing to a healthier white identity. I think if a white person I knew renamed themselves Rosa Parks Smith, I would find it off-putting and performative.
But overall, despite our political (and perhaps generational?) differences, I still recommend that white people in particular read this, as I haven't read anything else that looks at whiteness in quite this way. (less)
Mar 01, 2021Brinda Gurumoorthy rated it did not like it
This book tried to be all things to all people, and ultimately ended up being no things to no people. It's simultaneously addressed to Black people, white people, and police officers (which one of these is not like the other?). And its central thesis is "hurt people hurt people", the idea being that white people are racist because they carry trauma from violence inflicted upon them generations ago. But he doesn't share enough legitimate information about epigenetics or neuroscience or trauma to ...more
Sep 30, 2020Chelsea Tobin rated it it was amazing
This is one of those books where you are one person prior to reading it, and another person once you’ve finished reading it. The kind of book that crawls inside you and stays there. Is there anything more important than doing the inner & outer work needed to live in right community on this planet? I don’t think so. Read this book. We all need you to.
(Note: not as radical as I’d like / some cop apologizing and fat phobia. Gave it 5 stars because I want folks to read it but pls note those disclaimers.) (less)
(Note: not as radical as I’d like / some cop apologizing and fat phobia. Gave it 5 stars because I want folks to read it but pls note those disclaimers.) (less)
May 02, 2021Ankur Singh rated it liked it
This book is fine I guess....it raises alot of important questions about how to heal from trauma which are def worthwhile, but also at one point he suggests that white people can fight white supremacy by naming their kids after black Civil rights leaders and idkkkkk about that. Plus it's very police need better training. So read with a grain of salt (less)
essential for all somatics practitioners & antiracist organizers & activists! this book is a true gem: beautifully & accessibly organized, clear, and kind but firm. there are many solo & group practices to work with, and some key insights into what makes culture & how culture shifts. i also especially appreciated the ancestral history of whiteness: the reality that settlers arrived on these stolen lands with deep trauma from watching the white ruling class torture the underclasses throughout the middle ages & beyond. the ties to Empire & colonization here could have been a bit stronger.
my main critiques are that it somewhat erases non-Black POC in its white/Black/blue bodies schema, it doesn’t deal with ongoing colonial genocide of indigenous people & theft of indigenous land, and it is firmly in the police reform camp, which was jarring to me as a committed abolitionist & somatics practitioner who otherwise was very aligned with menakem’s project. (less)
my main critiques are that it somewhat erases non-Black POC in its white/Black/blue bodies schema, it doesn’t deal with ongoing colonial genocide of indigenous people & theft of indigenous land, and it is firmly in the police reform camp, which was jarring to me as a committed abolitionist & somatics practitioner who otherwise was very aligned with menakem’s project. (less)
Jan 13, 2021Kony rated it it was ok
Required reading for class. I might be the only person in my cohort who isn't gaga over this book.
I do appreciate the author's points that (1) racial trauma is intergenerational and real; (2) trauma healing begins with the body; (3) collective healing begins with individuals who are settled in their bodies. These points are not explored or illuminated in any depth, however. They are just repeated over and over in reference to "white bodies," "Black bodies," and "police bodies" in America.
And I ...more
I do appreciate the author's points that (1) racial trauma is intergenerational and real; (2) trauma healing begins with the body; (3) collective healing begins with individuals who are settled in their bodies. These points are not explored or illuminated in any depth, however. They are just repeated over and over in reference to "white bodies," "Black bodies," and "police bodies" in America.
And I ...more
