Dying Well: A Contemporary Guide to Awakening
by Ira Byock (Author)
4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 538 ratings
From Ira Byock, prominent palliative care physician and expert in end of life decisions, a lesson in Dying Well.
Nobody should have to die in pain. Nobody should have to die alone.
This is Ira Byock's dream, and he is dedicating his life to making it come true. Dying Well brings us to the homes and bedsides of families with whom Dr. Byock has worked, telling stories of love and reconciliation in the face of tragedy, pain, medical drama, and conflict. Through the true stories of patients, he shows us that a lot of important emotional work can be accomplished in the final months, weeks, and even days of life. It is a companion for families, showing them how to deal with doctors, how to talk to loved ones--and how to make the end of life as meaningful and enriching as the beginning.
Ira Byock is also the author of The Best Care Possible: A Physician's Quest to Transform Care Through the End of Life.
===
From other countries
Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Great!
Reviewed in the United States on 25 May 2015
Verified Purchase
Having lost a few friends recently, i was looking for something that would connect the dots for me, loss, grieving, dying, meaning. Once ordered, i couldnt stop reading, the personal stories of loss, bereavement, grief, and how death can be transformational not just for the dying but for the survivors, are powerful stories. After wards, i think the stories remind me of our humanity, how fragile life can be, only one step away from tragedy, how we must all succumb to nature, the science of keeping dying people alive, managing pain medication. I think at the end of it all, it is about dying well, looking back at my own life, to know or at least have some sense of knowing that i did live well, not to have regrets about not having done this or that, or missed this or that, that given the time that was allotted to one's own life, that i made the best of it, good and bad, challenging or successful, and not having wasted time, or let time fritter away what could have been opportunities. Also, the book reminds me of how important family, and good friends are, that when you are suffering and dying, trying to manage through the pain and suffering, the distance between being sick and death itself, that there is somebody who is willing to help, willing to step and look after you, instead of dying alone, there is someone you can talk to, chat about, share the last moments of beauty with, the simple things of existence, I think dying alone and unloved must be the most terrible death, knowing that everything you have materially dont amount to a hill of beans, when there is nobody who will miss you, miss your prescence, mourn your absence. When you are gone, you no longer exist, except only in the minds of the people, who wanna remember you, who mourn you, who miss you, you can only live on in their memories.
20 people found this helpful
Report
Kathy
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book
Reviewed in the United States on 11 February 2023
Verified Purchase
This author gets it. He knows how to talk about the physical as well as the emotional aspects of the terminal patient.
I myself am terminal in Hospice. I have rad many books on dying . This one of the best.
6 people found this helpful
Report
Barbara G. Pearlman
5.0 out of 5 stars Resting In Peace
Reviewed in the United States on 17 May 2012
Verified Purchase
Currently 4.5/5 Stars.Barbara P. (gotchagal) - Las Vegas, NV reviewed Dying Well: Peace and Possibilities at the End of Life on 5/16/2012 + 72 more book reviews
If you think that there's a possibility you may one day die, or know someone who will, by all means read this book so you can do it well, with warmth, love and dignity. I do not by any means mean to make light of the subject, but it is one we have all given thought to at one time or another.
It really is about much more than who gets what and how much we leave. Our friends and family members should "get" who we are, what we're about and we should try to leave them with good feelings.
As far as our own feelings are concerned, I know that I want to be as comfortable as possible, aware of what is happening, who is there, and most of all, not be afraid. Having read this book, I know that all that is possible.
Dr. Byock has opened the door to a subject that is rarely discussed. Most of us are more than a bit afraid to even think about it, much less talk about it, but it is so important and really necessary.
I think we'd like to feel less frightened by the subject and more in control of what happens to us and to the people around us who love us and don't want to see us suffer. Dr. Byock's book is helpful and loving.
Since none of us can escape dying, we can at least make it as good an experience as possible. Yes, thanks to Dr. Byock, I do feel it can be a much better experience than I originally thought it could be.
4 people found this helpful
Report
Bon C
2.0 out of 5 stars A Rough Read
Reviewed in Canada on 21 April 2022
Verified Purchase
I was assigned this book for a course I am taking. I found this book very hard to read. I felt the Dr was just not a writer. It was much too wordy, and dragged on. It set me back a month in my self- study course because picking this book up each time I tried felt like a very unpleasant task. It wasn't the sensitive topics covered, just the extra bulk I found to be overkill. For those new to the topics covered they may hang in longer and more easily. I would not recommend this book.
Report
AmazonAddict
4.0 out of 5 stars A template for families to discuss end of life decisions
Reviewed in the United States on 2 May 2019
Verified Purchase
Written by an ER doctor turned hospice doctor, Dr. Ira provides a template for families to discuss end of life care decisions that go beyond the scope of medical care alone. He addresses finding meaning in the process, healing relationships, and presents it as a period of time that should not be feared but seen as an opportunity to complete the life cycle in a positive way.
A book on dying probably seems macabre to many Americans because it's a topic we're uncomfortable with. But dying is a human experience like any other and this book helps normalize the discussions surrounding it. Dying is somewhat of a taboo topic but avoiding the difficult end of life discussions causes suffering in its own way. Avoidance of the difficult conversations means you are making a decision by default that may not serve the wishes of the dying or their families well.
I read this book after enrolling my mother with Alzheimer's in hospice and it helped me understand my own ambiguous feelings through experiencing the plight of families within this story.
8 people found this helpful
Report
Katy Butler
5.0 out of 5 stars Reduced my fears
Reviewed in the United States on 14 July 2016
Verified Purchase
A reassuring and hopeful guide for anyone new to the process of death and dying -- and in the age of improved public sanitation and advanced medicine, that means a lot of us. Perhaps our great-grandparents wouldn't have needed a book like this, as they witnessed deaths throughout the lifespan. "Dying Well" reduced my fears and informed me: A. about the process of dying,B. what medicine can do to help, C. that once you get over the fact you're dying and can't stop it, you can have people help you meet other goals -- snuggling with your cat, graduating high school, going sailing for the last time, having your gurney trundled into the woods to say goodbye to the trees. (Those are my examples, most of them are not from this book.) I consider this book a pioneering, foundational and seminal text -- I'm amazed it hasn't been reviewed by more people. Given our desire to avoid the subject out of fear and misplaced "positive thinking," we need more books like this to paint the landmarks and fill in the various colors of the landscape of death and dying, especially very slow deaths by "the dwindles" that many elderly people experience now.
23 people found this helpful
Report
Mastoo
5.0 out of 5 stars Incredible book
Reviewed in the United States on 21 June 2022
Verified Purchase
My mother was going through CHF, and being told there wasn't much they could do. I read this book, and it helped get her relief in her final months. One bad thing about this book though, expect some tears when you read it.
2 people found this helpful
Report
Carol G. La Fauci
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book about dying with dignity
Reviewed in the United States on 29 December 2020
Verified Purchase
I am a Geriatric Nurse Practitioner/Certified Senior Advisor so this topic is something close to my heart both personally and professionally. Dr. Byock does an excellent job discussing and presenting the various ways people face death.
I spent many years as an intensive care nurse before going back to school to become a nurse practitioner. I witnessed too many of what I would describe as “bad deaths”. This book will give the reader insight into the world of Hospice and finding peace with coming to terms with death as the person own choice.
I highly recommend this well written book.
6 people found this helpful
Report
Sandy White
5.0 out of 5 stars For anyone who serves the dying
Reviewed in Canada on 16 February 2021
Verified Purchase
I have read several books on dying over the past two years and this has been the best. The questions at the end with the doctor’s answers are very helpful. For anyone who is considering working with the terminally ill this should be a reference text.
Report
Descca
5.0 out of 5 stars Absolute Must Read IF You or Loved One is Dying
Reviewed in the United States on 28 January 2014
Verified Purchase
This is written by a hospice doctor, giving us the benefit of his years of experience with the dying. The outstanding part of this book is his case study of individual patients and their families during the saga of death. Many a chapter brought tears to my eyes. And it also reads like a mystery story in that you turn the next page to see what is going to happen next. At the end of the book is an invaluable FAQ section (that was worth the price by itself).
I bought the book so as to know how to better relate with relatives that have the big C. I was looking for some understanding of what they might be feeling and how to talk to them, things that I might do to ease their mental anguish rather than add to it by inept, uncaring action. This book delivers in all respects and is one you may re-read from time to time for its striking insights.
All of us are in the process of dying, some of us are just closer than others - keep that in mind and buy this book.
5 people found this helpful
Report
