The Transformation of Intimacy: Sexuality, Love and Eroticism in Modern Societies
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The Transformation of Intimacy: Sexuality, Love and Eroticism in Modern Societies
by Anthony Giddens
3.73 · Rating details · 383 ratings · 19 reviews
The sexual revolution: an evocative term, but what meaning can be given to it today? How does “sexuality” come into being, and what connections does it have with the changes that have affected personal life more generally? In answering these questions, the author disputes many of the dominant interpretations of the role of sexuality in modern culture.
The author suggests that the revolutionary changes in which sexuality has become cauth up are more long-term than generally conceded. He sees them as intrinsic to the development of modern societies as a whole and to the broad characteristics of that development. Sexuality as we know it today is a creation of modernity, a terrain upon which the contradictory tendencies of modern social life play themselves out in full. Emancipation and oppression, opportunity and risk—these have become a part of a heady mix that irresistably ties our individual lives to global outcomes and the transformation of intimacy.
We live today in a social order in which, for the first time in histroy, women are becoming equal to men—or at least have lodged a claim to such equality as their right. The author does not attempt to analyze the gender inequalities that persist in the economic or political domains, but instead concentrates on a more hisdden personal area in which women—ordinary women, in the course of their day-to-day lives, quite apart from any political agenda—have pioneered changes of greate, and generalizable, importance. These changes essentially concern an exploration of the potentialities of the “pure relationship,” a relaitonship that presumes sexual and emotional equality, and is explosive in its connotations for pre-existing relations of power.
The author analyzes the emergence of what he calls plastic sexuality—sexuality freed from its intrinsic relation to reproduction—in terms of the emotional emancipation implicit in the pure relationship, as well as women’s claim to sexual pleasure. Plastic sexuality is decentered sexuality, freed from both reproduction and subservience to a fixed object. It can be molded as a trait of personality, and thus become bound up with the reflexivity of the self. Premised on plastic sexuality, the pure relationship is not exclusively heterosexual; it is neutral in terms of sexual orientation.
The author speculates that the transformaion of intimacy might be a subversive influence on modern institutions as a whole, for a social world in which the dominant ideal was to achieve intinsic rewards from the company of others might be vastly different from that which we know at the present. (less)
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Paperback, 216 pages
Published October 1st 1993 by Stanford University Press (first published 1992)
Original TitleThe Transformation of Intimacy: Sexuality, Love and Eroticism in Modern Societies
ISBN0804722145 (ISBN13: 9780804722148)
Edition LanguageEnglish
Other Editions (26)
Mahremiyetin Dönüşümü: Modern Toplumlarda Cinsellik, Aşk ve Erotizm
La transformación de la intimidad: sexualidad, amor y erotismo en las Sociedades Modernas
Transformation of Intimacy: Seksualitas, Cinta dan Erotisme dalam Masyarakat Modern
A Transformação da Intimidade: Sexualidade, Amor e Erotismo nas Sociedades Modernas
La trasformazione dell'intimità: Sessualità, amore ed erotismo nelle società moderne
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Average rating3.73 · Rating details · 383 ratings · 19 reviews
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Therese
Jul 07, 2020Therese rated it really liked it
Shelves: research-authoritarianism, dating-and-relationships, politics-and-society, philosophy, psychology, womens-issues
This is a sociologist's perspective on how concepts of intimacy and relationships have changed since the sexual revolution of the 1960s. I was interested in it because I'm trying to understand authoritarianism at both the political and personal level, and part of my thinking is that there is a relationship between authoritarian attitudes and intimacy, since authoritarianism revolves around control, and controlling another person is arguably a form of intimacy, in which there's a breaking down of barriers between two wills to enable the intrusion of one will into another.
I think it was Giddens who first introduced the concept of "pure relationships" in sociology. This refers to consensual relationships people have just for the sake of their own happiness and fulfillment, which they can leave at will. Giddens idea is that such relationships have become more common and more of an ideal since the sexual revolution, particularly for women and GLBTQ folks. The idea of the pure relationship differs from e.g. traditional marriage, which was more of a practical economic arrangement, or the notion of romantic love or sexual license that was driven by emotional or physical compulsion. A lot of people have struggled with this shift, for example, straight men and women in cases where the women have moved away from ideals of chastity and see sex as a prelude to an egalitarian relationship, but where the men don't want commitment and just want sex.
I mostly skimmed the chapters in the beginning and middle, because even though Giddens was doing important work by putting into words a lot of the changes that had been wrought by modernity, viewed from today's perspective it didn't feel very new or surprising to me. Where things got interesting was the last two chapters, where he discusses ideas from the philosopher Wilhelm Reich about repression and from Herbert Marcuse about "eros and civilization." (I haven't read Reich or Marcuse, so can't judge how accurately Giddens represents their thinking, but found the ideas interesting.) Reich was against bourgeois marriage as a repressive, authoritarian institution. He believed that traditional monogamous marriage served to develop authoritarian traits of character, which in turn supported an exploitative social system. Despite Reich's reputation as a wackadoodle crackpot, there's clearly some truth to this.
Marcuse's idea was that sexual emancipation should not be considered the same thing as just hedonism. Sexual love becomes liberating in combination with respect for the other as an equal, which disrupts the old traditional patriarchalist (authoritarian) family structure and also paves the way for broader egalitarian social citizenship. However, when sexual permissiveness turns into objectifying others as commodities of pleasure, it becomes just another form of oppressiveness.
In the last chapter of the book, Giddens expands on these ideas to talk about how egalitarian relationships between people can both follow a model of democracy at the personal level and reinforce egalitarian democracy at the political level. For me, this all goes toward showing how humanist ethics is foundational for democracy and how healthy interpersonal relationships based on mutual respect model healthy democracy as a system of governance. This contrasts with domestic abuse and violence, which models authoritarian governance - a point also made in a book I read about the mindset of domestic abusers, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men. The latter book was written by a clinical psychologist who had spent decades working with abusers, and has an insightful chapter where the author argues that the mindset of abusers is also reflected in systems of social and political oppression.
Giddens's book can also be considered in combination with another book I panned in a review a while back, Mark Regnerus's Cheap Sex: The Transformation of Men, Marriage, and Monogamy. Regnerus, as I pointed out, reveals himself as anti-individualist and authoritarian in his thinking, and his book revolves around contrasting Giddens's idea of the pure relationship with the "exchange" model of relationships - the more traditional idea of marriage as economic exchange. Regnerus loves the exchange model, is clearly nostalgic for the days when people could be said to "own" each other, and can't seem to get out of the dehumanizing idea of human beings as useful goods; Regnerus argues (obliquely, not directly) that the pure relationship model inevitably devolves into this commoditization of sex as consumption, and that the exchange model at least has the dignity of focusing on sexual exchange from a producer perspective instead of the consumer perspective.
I find Regnerus's views horrible, as I think real feminist emancipation is to treat women as human beings, not as objects, and it doesn't help to consider intimate relationships through the lens of economic production instead of as a consumer activity - the goal should be to go beyond such a limited view. Even while we recognize and concede that human beings will always see each other to some degree as useful means to various practical ends, there's also a humanist, ethical imperative to see each other as more than merely this, as ends in ourselves. Without this humanist respect for the sacredness of others' autonomy, it is all too easy to fall into authoritarian forms of relationship and governance in both the public and private spheres. (less)
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Sophia
Oct 28, 2014Sophia rated it really liked it
Shelves: non-fiction, psychology
The Transformation of Intimacy provides a comprehensive account of modern relationship dynamics. Giddens thought provoking offerings are always well justified. However his organization of the chapters, and content, isn't immediately evident. (less)
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Paz
Jan 31, 2013Paz rated it it was ok · review of another edition
Ehm. Sorry Antonio: mejor el título que el contenido.
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Nicole
Jul 20, 2012Nicole rated it it was ok
too many generalisations for my taste
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Guilherme Smee
Oct 23, 2017Guilherme Smee rated it really liked it · review of another edition
Shelves: sociologia
1727 / 5000
Translation results
Unlike most books in the field of sociology, Anthony Giddens' theoretical prose is quite pleasant to read. This book could be a historical overview of how sexuality, love and eroticism - or, in short, intimacy - were viewed. But the author asks us the pressing questions first and then traces possible causes. Thus, he explains among many things how autonomy ended up damaging intimacy, especially in the case of men, who must prove to be "selfmade men" and not depend on anyone's help. A survey caught me saying that many men had no friends to share their intimacies with, and when they did, those friends were women. This says a lot about our culture, which is self-centered, which values independence above anything, and which offers no chance for empathy and feelings. They treat them as if that were a sign of weakness, feelings proper to an inferior and abject being who, according to our culture, would be women. The "proclamation of independence" by men took place before women (the 30s and 40s compared to the 70s and 80s of women) and, therefore, they still need to assert themselves as free beings. The funny thing is that many women find it beautiful to be just like men, apathetic and without feelings, capable of everything to guarantee their individuality and independence. Would this be an inversion of values or just a way of underlining "penis envy", since, as feminist Luce Irigaray says, women have a "hole" in their body and heart? A very disturbing question, but one that I leave with you ... I do not dare to answer. I'm just here to bother your life! Bjokas! =* (less)
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Monic
Jul 07, 2007Monic rated it it was amazing
Changing social conditions are the basis of all forms of personal relations. Human civilization towards modernity has changed the social system, social institutions and social values, and has an impact on changing human intimate relations. Giddens looks specifically at how intimacy goes hand in hand with social change. Especially gender equality which has space in the realities of social life. Without realizing it, this kind of daily development gave birth to a sexuality revolution. This does not merely change equality in the economic and political sphere, but also sexual and emotional equality. This kind of fracture of sexuality can certainly bring about a contestation between the sociological dimension and the psychological dimension of the individual, opening up emotional gaps between the two sexes and trying to change the form of human relations. Relations move in a round of adjustments between self-democratization in accordance with public democratization. Giddens gave rise to the concept of sincere relationships (less)
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Renato M.
Mar 20, 2012Renato M. rated it it was amazing
Anthony Giddens, LA TRASFORMAZIONE DELL'INTIMITA'. Sessualità, amore ed erotismo nelle società moderne (il Mulino. p.216):
"Too often dreams of romantic love have pushed women into domestic submission. Convergent love presupposes equality in the accounts of affective give and take, all the more so as the love relationship approaches the model of the pure relationship. it grows only as the degree of intimacy increases and each partner appears willing not only to reveal their concerns and needs to the other, but also to be vulnerable to them. their availability and their ability to be vulnerable "8p.72) A fundamental reading to understand the deep motivations of our relationship, coexistence and couple crises and to understand the great changes in our intimacy. Clear and simple reflections. Excellent translation by Delia Tasso: a special thanks to her. (less)
