The Wheel of Life: A Memoir of Living and Dying: Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, Todd Gold: 9780684846316: Amazon.com: Books
On Life and Living
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, M.D., is the woman who has transformed the way the world thinks about death and dying. Beginning with the groundbreaking publication of the classic psychological study On Death and Dying and continuing through her many books and her years working with terminally ill children, AIDS patients, and the elderly, Kübler-Ross has brought comfort and understanding to millions coping with their own deaths or the deaths of loved ones. Now, at age seventy-one facing her own death, this world-renowned healer tells the story of her extraordinary life. Having taught the world how to die well, she now offers a lesson on how to live well. Her story is an adventure of the heart -- powerful, controversial, inspirational -- a fitting legacy of a powerful life.
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The Wheel of Life: A Memoir of Living and Dying Paperback – June 19, 1998
by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross (Author), Todd Gold (Contributor)
4.7 out of 5 stars 133 ratings
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Editorial Reviews
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Richard Hoffman New Age Journal An inspiring account of exploration, conviction, and service....This book chronicles a life lived passionately, compassionately, and well.
Bill Williams The Hartford Courant This absorbing account of her life shows a strong-willed woman willing to challenge authority and convention at every turn. Part of the book's charm is that Kübler-Ross is a marvelous storyteller.
About the Author
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, MD, [1926–2004] was a Swiss-born psychiatrist, humanitarian, and co-founder of the hospice movement around the world. She was also the author of the groundbreaking book On Death and Dying, which first discussed The Five Stages of Grief. Elisabeth authored twenty-four books in thirty-six languages and brought comfort to millions of people coping with their own deaths or the death of a loved one. Her greatest professional legacy includes teaching the practice of humane care for the dying and the importance of sharing unconditional love. Her work continues by the efforts of hundreds of organizations around the world, including The Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation: EKRFoundation.org.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Chapter 1
There Are No Accidents
Maybe this will help. For years I have been stalked by a bad reputation. Actually I have been pursued by people who regard me as the Death and Dying Lady. They believe that having spent more than three decades in research on death and life after death qualifies me as an expert on the subject. I think they miss the point.
The only incontrovertible fact of my work is the importance of life.
I always say that death can be one of the greatest experiences ever. If you live each day of your life right, then you have nothing to fear.
Maybe this, what is certain to be my final book, will clear that up. It may also raise a few new questions and perhaps even provide the answers.
From where I sit today in the flower-filled living room of my home in Scottsdale, Arizona, the past seventy years of my life look extraordinary. As a little girl raised in Switzerland, I could never, not in my wildest dreams -- and they were pretty wild -- have predicted one day winding up the world-famous author of On Death and Dying, a book whose exploration of life's final passage threw me into the center of a medical and theological controversy. Nor could I have imagined that afterward I would spend the rest of my life explaining that death does not exist.
According to my parents, I was supposed to have been a nice, churchgoing Swiss housewife. Instead I ended up an opinionated psychiatrist, author and lecturer in the American Southwest, who communicates with spirits from a world that I believe is far more loving and glorious than our own. I think modern medicine has become like a prophet offering a life free of pain. It is nonsense. The only thing I know that truly heals people is unconditional love.
Some of my views are unconventional. For instance, throughout the past few years I suffered a half dozen strokes, including a minor one right after Christmas 1996. My doctors warned, and then begged me to give up smoking, coffee and chocolates. But I still indulge in these tiny pleasures. Why not? It is my life.
That is how I have always lived. If I am opinionated and independent, if I am stuck in my ways, if I am a little off-center, so what? That is me.
By themselves, the pieces do not seem to fit together.
But my experiences have taught me that there are no accidents in life.
The things that happened to me had to happen.
I was destined to work with dying patients. I had no choice when I encountered my first AIDS patient. I felt called to travel some 250,000 miles each year to hold workshops that helped people cope with the most painful aspects of life, death and the transition between the two. Later in my life, I was compelled to buy a 300-acre farm in rural Virginia, where I created my own healing center and made plans to adopt AIDS-infected babies, and, though it is still painful to admit, I see that I was destined to be driven out of that idyllic place.
After announcing my intention of adopting AIDS-infected babies in 1985, I became the most despised person in the whole Shenandoah Valley, and even though I soon abandoned my plans, there was a group of men who did everything in their power short of killing me to get me to leave. They fired bullets through my windows and shot at my animals. They sent the kind of messages that made life in that gorgeous spot unpleasant and dangerous. But that was my home and I stubbornly refused to pack up.
I had moved to the farm in Head Waters, Virginia, ten years earlier. The farm embodied all my dreams and I poured all the money I earned from publishing and lectures into making it a reality. I built my house, a neighboring cabin and a farmhouse. I constructed a healing center where I held workshops, allowing me to cut down on my hectic travel schedule. I was planning to adopt AIDS-infected babies, who would enjoy however many days remained of their lives in the splendor of the outdoors.
The simple life on the farm was everything to me. Nothing was more relaxing after a long plane flight than to reach the winding driveway that led up to my house. The quiet of the night was more soothing than a sleeping pill. In the morning, I awoke to a symphony of talking cows, horses, chickens, pigs, donkeys, Ilamas...the whole noisy menagerie, welcoming me home. The fields rolled out as far as I could see, glistening with fresh dew. Ancient trees offered their silent wisdom.
There was real work to be done. My hands got dirty. They touched the earth, the water, the sun. They worked with the material of life.
My life.
My soul was there.
Then, on October 6, 1994, my house was set on fire.
It burned down to the ground and was a total loss. All my papers were destroyed. Everything I owned turned to ash.
I was hurrying through the airport in Baltimore, trying to catch a plane home, when I got the news that it was ablaze. The friend who told me begged me not to go home, not yet. But my whole life I had been told not to become a doctor, not to talk with dying patients, not to start an AIDS hospice in prison, and each time I had stubbornly done what felt right rather than what was expected. This time was no different.
Everyone goes through hardship in life. The more you go through, the more you learn and grow.
The plane flight zoomed by. Soon I was in the backseat of a friend's car, speeding along the dark country roads. It was nearly midnight. From a distance of a few miles away, I spotted the first signs of smoke and flames. They stood out against a perfectly black sky. I could tell it was a big fire. Close up, the house, or what remained of it, was barely visible through the flames. I compared the scene to standing in the midst of hell. The firemen said they had never seen anything like it. The intense heat kept them at bay all night and through the morning.
Sometime late that first night I sought shelter in the nearby farmhouse, which had facilities for guests. I made myself a cup of coffee, lit a cigarette and considered the tremendous personal loss inside the raging furnace that was once my home. It was devastating, staggering, beyond comprehension. The list included diaries my father had kept of my childhood, my personal papers and journals, some 20,000 case histories pertaining to my research into life after death, my collection of Native American art, photos and clothing...everything.
For twenty-four hours I was in shock. I did not know how to react, whether to cry, scream, shake my fists at God or just gawk at the iron-fisted intrusion of fate.
Adversity only makes you stronger.
People always ask me what death is like. I tell them it is glorious. It is the easiest thing they will ever do.
Life is hard. Life is a struggle.
Life is like going to school. You are given many lessons. The more you learn, the harder the lessons get.
This was one of those times, one of those lessons. Since there was no use denying the loss, I accepted it. What else could I do? Anyway, it was just a bunch of stuff, and no matter how important or sentimental the meaning, nothing compared with the value of life. I was unharmed. My two grown children, Kenneth and Barbara, were alive. Some jerks might have succeeded in burning down my house and everything inside, but they were not able to destroy me.
When you learn your lessons, the pain goes away.
This life of mine, which began halfway around the world, has been many things -- but never easy. That is a fact, not a complaint. I have learned there is no joy without hardship. There is no pleasure without pain. Would we know the comfort of peace without the distress of war? If not for AIDS, would we notice our humanity is in jeopardy? If not for death, would we appreciate life? If not for hate, would we know the ultimate goal is love?
As I am fond of saying: "Should you shield the canyons from the windstorms, you would never see the beauty of their carvings."
I admit that October night three years ago was one of those times when the beauty was hard to find. But during the course of my life, I had stood at similiar crossroads, searching the horizon for something nearly impossible to see. At those moments you can either hold on to negativity and look for blame, or you can choose to heal and keep on loving. Since I believe our only purpose for existing is to grow, I had no problem making a choice.
So a few days after the fire, I drove in to town, bought a change of clothes and got set for whatever was going to happen next.
In a way, that is the story of my life.
Copyright © 1997 by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
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Product details
Paperback: 288 pages
Publisher: Scribner; Touchstone Ed edition (June 19, 1998)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0684846314
ISBN-13: 978-0684846316
Product Dimensions: 6.1 x 0.7 x 9.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars 113 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #92,303 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
#47 in Psychologist Biographies
#73 in R&B Artist Biographies
#150 in Sociology of Death (Books)
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wheel of life elisabeth kubler-ross kubler ross life and death terminally ill great book unconditional love death and dying books i have ever elizabeth kubler-ross book to read half of the book highly recommend recommend it to anyone elizabeth kubler worth reading near death must read good book life story
Top Reviews
Mark E Faith
5.0 out of 5 stars Remarkable woman who added discussion to mortalityReviewed in the United States on January 25, 2017
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
I love Dr Ross - she was at the University of Chicago in the 60's when I was a med student and I went to some of her D&D interviews (through one way mirrors.) It helped much to have someone speak of the unspeakable - "how does one feel about mortality?"
She was also a saint in helping my wife after we had a premature baby die and the depression the depression that followed.
She even had us in her home and my wife gave her things that she had made for our Baby - I think maybe Barbara was close to birth then.
I enjoyed the early parts of the book and did not know most of her personal history - amazing.
The later parts however, to me seem like she lost contact with reality and I find hard to understand this break - unless she is simply trying to give hope to people (as she had done throughout her life.)
I wish her spirit happiness.
6 people found this helpful
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Becki Hawkins
5.0 out of 5 stars Do Not Fear DeathReviewed in the United States on October 3, 2013
Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase
I could hardly get anything done as I could not put down this book!! Elizabeth's sharing is so honest. I especially enjoyed reading about her childhood and her beginnings as a doctor!! Her whole life has been one of service. And it was in her work with the dying she shares how she began connecting with the 'other side'. I'm a retired hospice nurse and I too have been with so many precious souls as they were in transition, listening to them share their visions. And some had NDE's before in their lives sharing that they were not afraid to die. The end of the book reminds us that Unconditional Love for one another and all the Earth is what matters. Love is The Final Word.
10 people found this helpful
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Josephine
4.0 out of 5 stars Great WriterReviewed in the United States on July 3, 2013
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
The first part of the book was most enjoyable. Then she seems to change, thinking only of her needs. It was hard to read that she left her children at a crucial time in their lives. While what she did with the dying was commendable, I didn't like the way she treated her family, her peers, and others. She had a very big ego and was a big critic of others. She had lots of good attributes, including working hard, helping others, strong determination, etc. but there also seemed to be a big void in her life. I felt a little sorry for her and her family.
8 people found this helpful
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Soraya Bittencourt
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent, a MUST readReviewed in the United States on October 10, 2018
Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase
Extremely interesting life narrative. She defined(established it) the 5 stages of grief in the context of terminally ill patients. She talks about who we perceive and deal with death and the process of dying. It pushes all of us to better understand it. She revolutionize healthcare patient treatment and introduced the concept of 'hospice". It is amazing to see how one person could make such a difference in so many lives.
It really does make you think and re-evaluate your life and decisions.
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Janet E. Powell
5.0 out of 5 stars Very InterestingReviewed in the United States on October 21, 2017
Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase
Never really thought about who Elizabeth Kubler Ross was beyond her Death and Dying book. Very interesting lady! A good read.
2 people found this helpful
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KarenTop Contributor: Cooking
5.0 out of 5 stars My first Elizabeth Kubler Ross Book..Loved it..Reviewed in the United States on August 21, 2012
Format: Audio CassetteVerified Purchase
I listened to this on a cassette tape.. The very beginning is narrated by Elizabeth but then continued by Ellen Burstyn, whom I really enjoy listening to. I found her story to be very interesting and her opinions about death and the after life are opinions I have always believed myself. How I never heard of her until now I'm not sure, but I'm glad I started with this audiobook as it gives the listener a very good picture of where her life started and what led her to devote her life to studying what the dyeing feel and what happens after death.. I wish I had seen her on tv years ago, but I guess we all find things when we're suppose to.
2 people found this helpful
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Valerie Muroki
5.0 out of 5 stars A light in the darkness of our timesReviewed in the United States on June 12, 2014
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross demonstrates through her autobiography the courage she developed as a child to be a forerunner throughout the medical and psychological world in compassionate caring for patients -- young, old and dying. As a newly trained hospice volunteer, I wanted more background and understanding in order to bring to the patients I visit my most loving, understanding self. This is one of the books I chose for my new "hospice library." But as much as she talks about dying patients, she emphasizes the process of LIVING. A very open and candid book from an icon of our times.
2 people found this helpful
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hobiwankinobi
5.0 out of 5 stars Great BookReviewed in the United States on July 28, 2013
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
This book was recommendation from a friend and It helped much. I had three people I knew die within 2 weeks. This book and quite a few long talks with my friend helped much. I highly advise anyone who is struggling with life after death or the old "whats life all about" question read this book. Not that this book answers that question specifically but it helped me along the way to understand that make to each day what you can and the rest of your life kind of works out the way its supposed to. This book is simply fantastic.
2 people found this helpful
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nicola crevis
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic bookReviewed in the United Kingdom on August 18, 2019
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
I really enjoyed reading this autobiography. I found it fascinating, and deeply moving
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Erna
5.0 out of 5 stars Five StarsReviewed in the United Kingdom on July 7, 2016
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Really worthwhile reading this autobiography of an extraordinary lady.
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C. Sidney-woollett
5.0 out of 5 stars a memorable bookReviewed in the United Kingdom on March 22, 2013
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
book deep & meaningful - a recommended reading for any one who wants to have their mind stimulated - thought provoking
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