The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness Hardcover – 10 January 2023
by Robert Waldinger M D (Author), Marc Schulz PH D (Author)
4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 1,293 ratings
A New York Times Bestseller
What makes for a happy life, a fulfilling life? A good life? In their "captivating" (The Wall Street Journal) book, the directors of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, the longest scientific study of happiness ever conducted, show that the answer to these questions may be closer than you realize.
What makes a life fulfilling and meaningful? The simple but surprising answer is: relationships. The stronger our relationships, the more likely we are to live happy, satisfying, and healthier lives. In fact, the Harvard Study of Adult Development reveals that the strength of our connections with others can predict the health of both our bodies and our brains as we go through life.
The invaluable insights in this book emerge from the revealing personal stories of hundreds of participants in the Harvard Study as they were followed year after year for their entire adult lives, and this wisdom was bolstered by research findings from many other studies. Relationships in all their forms--friendships, romantic partnerships, families, coworkers, tennis partners, book club members, Bible study groups--all contribute to a happier, healthier life. And as The Good Life shows us, it's never too late to strengthen the relationships you already have, and never too late to build new ones. The Good Life provides examples of how to do this.
Dr. Waldinger's TED Talk about the Harvard Study, "What Makes a Good Life," has been viewed more than 42 million times and is one of the ten most-watched TED talks ever. The Good Life has been praised by bestselling authors Jay Shetty "an empowering quest towards our greatest need: meaningful human connection"), Angela Duckworth ("In a crowded field of life advice...Schulz and Waldinger stand apart"), and happiness expert Laurie Santos ("Waldinger and Schulz are world experts on the counterintuitive things that make life meaningful").
With "insightful [and] interesting" (Daniel Gilbert, New York Times bestselling author of Stumbling on Happiness) life stories, The Good Life shows us how we can make our lives happier and more meaningful through our connections to others.
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352 pages
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Product description
Review
"Fascinating. . . . Combining intensive research with actionable steps, this penetrating testament to the power of human connection offers gems for almost anyone looking to improve their happiness."-- "Publishers Weekly"
"Perfect for readers of Arthur Brooks, Daniel Pink, Angela Duckworth, and other writers who delve into how to fashion prosperous, fulfilling lives. An engrossing look at why relationships matter, featuring an unprecedented abundance of data to back it up."-- "Kirkus Reviews (starred review)"
"I'm beyond thrilled that Dr. Waldinger and Dr. Schulz are publishing the findings of the Harvard Study. Over the years, I've discussed their research and recommended Dr. Waldinger's TED talk around the world. I can hardly wait to recommend The Good Life. It's accessible, interesting, and grounded in research--and is bound to make a difference in the lives of millions."--Tal Ben-Shahar, bestselling author of Being Happy: You Don't Have to Be Perfect to Lead a Richer, Happier Life, and Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment
"The Good Life tells the story of a rare and fascinating study of lives over time. This insightful, interesting, and well-informed book reveals the secret of happiness--and reminds us that it was never really a secret, after all."--Daniel Gilbert, author of the New York Times best-seller Stumbling on Happiness; and host of the PBS television series This Emotional Life
"In a crowded field of life advice and even life advice based on scientific research, Schulz and Waldinger stand apart. Capitalizing on the most intensive study of adult development in history, they tell us what makes a good life and why."--Angela Duckworth, author of Grit, Christopher H. Browne Distinguished Professor of Psychology, University of Pennsylvania, co-founder and CEO of Character Lab
"Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz lead us on an empowering quest towards our greatest need: meaningful human connection. Blending research from an ongoing 80-year study of life satisfaction with emotional storytelling proves that ancient wisdom has been right all along - a good life is built with good relationships."--Jay Shetty, bestselling author of Think Like a Monk and host of the podcast On Purpose
"This book is simply extraordinary. It weaves 'hard data' and enlightening case studies and interviews together seamlessly in a way that stays true to the science while humanizing it. And what an important lesson it teaches. It helps people to understand how they should live their lives, and also provides a spectacular picture of what psychology can be at its best. It is data driven, of course, but data are just noise without wise interpretation."--Barry Schwartz, author of Practical Wisdom (with Kenneth Sharpe) and Why We Work
"Waldinger and Schulz are world experts on the counterintuitive things that make life meaningful. Their bookwill provide welcome advice for a world facing unprecedented levels of unhappiness and loneliness."--Laurie Santos, PhD, Chandrika and Ranjan Tandon Professor of Psychology at Yale University and host of the podcast The Happiness Lab podcast
"Waldinger and Schulz have written an essential -- perhaps the essential -- book on human flourishing. Backed by extraordinary research and packed with actionable advice, The Good Life will expand your brain and enrich your heart."--Daniel H. Pink, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Power of Regret, Drive, and A Whole New Mind
"Want the secret to the good life? Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz give it to you in this magnificent new book. Based on the longest survey ever conducted over people's lives, The Good Life reveals who winds up happy, who doesn't, and why--and how you can use this information starting today."--Arthur C. Brooks, Professor, Harvard Kennedy School and Harvard Business School, and #1 New York Times bestselling author
About the Author
Dr. Robert Waldinger is a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development at Massachusetts General Hospital, and cofounder of the Lifespan Research Foundation. Dr. Waldinger received his AB from Harvard College and his MD from Harvard Medical School. He is a practicing psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, and he directs a psychotherapy teaching program for Harvard psychiatry residents. He is also a Zen master (Roshi) and teaches meditation in New England and around the world.
Marc Schulz is the associate director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development and the Sue Kardas PhD 1971 Chair in Psychology at Bryn Mawr College. He also directs the Data Science Program and previously chaired the psychology department and Clinical Developmental Psychology PhD program at Bryn Mawr. Dr. Schulz received his BA from Amherst College and his PhD in clinical psychology from the University of California at Berkeley. He is a practicing therapist with postdoctoral training in health and clinical psychology at Harvard Medical School.
Product details
Publisher : Simon & Schuster (10 January 2023)
Language : English
Hardcover : 352 pages
ISBN-10 : 198216669X
ISBN-13 : 978-1982166694
Dimensions : 15.24 x 3.3 x 22.86 cmBest Sellers Rank: 228,876 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)322 in Longevity
702 in Friendship (Books)
4,226 in Self-Help for HappinessCustomer Reviews:
4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 1,293 ratings
About the authors
Follow authors to get new release updates, plus improved recommendations.
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Marc Schulz Ph.D
Marc Schulz, PhD, is the Associate Director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development and an award-winning professor at Bryn Mawr College, where he directs the Data Science Program and is the Sue Kardas PhD 1971 Chair in Psychology. He completed his BA at Amherst College and his Ph.D. at the University of California at Berkeley.
See more on the author's page
Follow
Robert J. Waldinger
Dr. Robert Waldinger is a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development at Massachusetts General Hospital, and cofounder of the Lifespan Research Foundation. Dr. Waldinger received his AB from Harvard College and his MD from Harvard Medical School. He is a practicing psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, and he directs a psychotherapy teaching program for Harvard psychiatry residents. He is also a Zen master (Roshi) and teaches meditation in New England and around the world.
See more on the author's page
Top reviews
Top reviews from Australia
Avid Reader
5.0 out of 5 stars excellent bookReviewed in Australia on 13 March 2023
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A very good book on the world’s longest study into the good life. Really pleased to have read this book and thoroughly recommended
HelpfulReport
John Storer
2.0 out of 5 stars Self help not scienceReviewed in Australia on 2 April 2023
Verified Purchase
Could have been an extremely interesting book if the author had stuck to the science. Instead the underlying study was used as a launching pad for another self help book. Disappointing.
One person found this helpful
HelpfulReport
Jason Van
1.0 out of 5 stars It’s a notebook not the novel!Reviewed in Australia on 20 February 2023
Verified Purchase
Buyer beware, this product is a notebook and not the actual book. Read the description carefully!
HelpfulReport
Warren Mills
2.0 out of 5 stars A fraudulent conclusion to an 80 year study.Reviewed in Australia on 26 March 2023
The Good Life is a highly anticipated summary of the well-known 80-year Harvard study, concluding that human fulfillment and happiness is the result of good relationships. While this conclusion is obvious, the case-studies and reasons given are amazingly superficial and self-serving. Throughout the text are many quotes from Buddhism, listed as one of the author's primary interests. For such a study to ignore the uniqueness of the western democratic capitalism and its Judeo-Christian roots, summarized by Christ's Golden Rule which teaches us to "Love God and our neighbors as ourselves." This omission cannot be an oversight. Rather, it is a fraudulent attempt to avoid the explanation that history's most influential person had anything to do with it.
HelpfulReport
See more reviews
Top reviews from other countries
Translate all reviews to English
Douglass Andrew Morrison
5.0 out of 5 stars An important lesson from 80 years of longitudinal study of a 50s Harvard classReviewed in the United States on 8 March 2023
Verified Purchase
My Goodreads review of this book
The Good Life by Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz is based on the Grant Study, an 80-year longitudinal study of a select group of Harvard graduates from the 1950s. The Grant study has been to the study of healthy mental and social adaptation akin to what the Framingham study has been for the study of cardiovascular health and the development of cardiovascular illness. These types of studies identify people who have not yet manifested illness and follow them prospectively over time. These studies are like a photo album over the course of one’s life rather than a single photograph. The prospective study design allows one to identify risk factors for the development of cardiovascular disease in studies like Framingham.
In the Grant study, factors like the use of recognized psychological defenses or adaptive behaviors can be correlated with subsequent psychological or social outcomes. The outcomes typically are discussed in terms of a range, for example happy, long-term marriage versus unhappy union with or without divorce, versus the choice to remain single. Social and cultural norms and biases influence the interpretation of many of these psychosocial outcomes. This makes the process more nuanced than medical outcomes like heart attack or stroke, which are uniformly seen as adverse. The separation of desirable from adverse psychosocial outcomes can be facilitated by using the individual’s own interpretation of satisfying versus unsatisfying or happy versus unhappy.
One can look for an association between explanatory variables like the use of specific psychological defenses and different outcome variables, like a satisfying career or happy marriage. By comparing the relative strength of these associations, one can infer whether specific outcomes are more or less likely among groups with and without the different adaptive behaviors and/ or use of known defenses. The inferences are bolstered by vignettes from many individuals’ stories.
The Good Life is a follow-up to the report by George Vaillant, Adaptation to Life. In my Goodreads review of Adaptation to Life, I mentioned several motifs that Dr. Vaillant advanced:
• Isolated childhood traumas appeared to be less important than sustained relationships with important people in the subjects’ lives.
• Lives changed over time.
• The key to understanding the subjects’ psychology or psychopathology was to understand the subjects’ adaptive mechanisms or use of psychological defenses.
• Human development continues throughout one’s life.
• Mental health can be considered somewhat independent of moral and cultural values.
These themes are developed further in Waldinger's and Schulz's book, The Good Life. It continues to emphasize the important role of close relationships in the observed subject’s physical and mental health, sense of satisfaction, and personal happiness.
Critically, this book begins to generalize some of the things we readers might learn from the more, and less, adaptive members of the observed cohort. This process begins with one of the most important lessons I took away from my medical school psychiatry rotations: try to observe how we feel in the presence of our patients. Our feelings can be important clues to our patients’ psychiatric diagnoses. This insight can be applied to interpersonal dynamics with relatively healthy people including our family and friends.
From this simple but fraught insight comes the acronym of this book: WISER which the authors apply to all sorts of close human relationships aiming in each case to improve the quality of those relationships. W stands for Watch as in observing our own feelings. As the psychiatry adage goes, 'Don't just do something. Sit there.' And while sitting, observe our own feelings. The I stands for Interpret, whereby we are to ponder, why am I feeling this way? The trained therapist continuously aims for greater understanding and empathy, and less judgment, in answering this question. Based upon one's answer to the previous question, we consider our options as to how to respond. The S stands for Select, whereby we choose from among the options. We then are to Engage or implement with care, meaning with awareness of the other person's feelings. The R stands for Reflect. After trying this sequence, we reflect on how it went, and what we can learn from the sequence. Much of the book consists in applying these steps to our important relationships (marriage, parenting, work), based on the data and stories of participants in the Grant Study.
Part of the frustration I had with psychiatry, as a medical trainee, was the emphasis on deterministic factors (nature and nurture) over which I, as a physician had no control. My therapist-daughter and I joke about this limitation with the question, 'How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? It only takes one psychiatrist to change a light bulb, so long as the light bulb wants to change. It was no accident that I became an interventional cardiologist, a field in which some of my efforts could produce changes largely independent of my patient's compliance, at least over the short haul. For example, when I implanted a coronary stent during an acute myocardial infarction, my efforts could enhance blood flow and relieve myocardial ischemia, without depending upon the patient's desire or efforts to change.
My biggest gain from reading both Adaptation to Life and The Good Life is the sense of hope for facilitating, not causing, or controlling, healthy change in my relationships with other people, including my family members, friends, and my patients. It starts with the efforts to change myself, particularly in becoming more understanding and empathic, and less judgmental.
Read more
59 people found this helpfulReport
Laura A. Handrick
5.0 out of 5 stars Real data! Real insights. Am sharing with others...Reviewed in the United States on 21 November 2023
Verified Purchase
I loved the book, the data, the insights and the questions that I was able to do myself as a self assessment. After reading the book, I told my friends about it and passed my copy along to my daughter who loves data-based facts and insights. If you're a data geek, you'll love this book. If you want to have a good life, you'll love this book.
Report
philosophisch-ethische-rezensionen
4.0 out of 5 stars One TopicReviewed in Germany on 25 February 2023
Verified Purchase
The authors are director and associate director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development respectively. This stunning study has followed the lives of two generations of individuals from the same families for more than eighty years from youth until death. It began 1938 and is still going on today. The radical new question for its time of the study is not to ask what made people sick, but what made them thrive. Now the study includes 3 generations and more than 1.300 of the descendants of its original 724 participants. The conclusion of the book, its evaluation is that when you want to make a single decision that could best ensure your own health and happiness, science tells us that we should cultivate warm relationships of all kinds. And how to reach this the authors and The Harvard Study of Adult Development want to point the way. Very touching stories of the study the book tells, stories of very happy (and often seemingly inconspicuous) lives and stories of very unhappy (and often commercial successful) lives. The findings of the studies are made by continuous questionnaires and also face to face interviews in longer intervals and medical data. One of the happiest participants ever, the reader is told, was asked in a questionnaire at the end of his life what his most enjoyable activity that he and his wife engage in together is. The Participant who serves bravely in World War II, travelled all over the world, built his own homes with no formal training, who raised a happy stepson and volunteered every day in his community, wrote the thing he and his wife enjoyed most was: “Just being together.” And therein basically lays the key for a happy life. Happy relationships with family, close and remote friends or even an interested attitude in mere casual acquaintances. The authors know: The good life is a complicated life for everybody. It is joyful and challenging. And it never strictly happens, but instead it unfolds through time. It is a process. And of course, it always ends in death. The Harvard Study is in general prospective, the participants are asked about the life as it is, not as it was. After studying hundreds of entire lives, the authors confirm that a life of good relationships stands out for its power and consistency. People who are more connected to family, friends, community are happier and physically healthier than people who are less connected. Lonely people also live a shorter life. Concerning this the authors are alarmed that this sense of disconnection from others is growing across the world. But the study also shows: It is never too late for striving for good connections and a good life. Good relations, they are convinced, keep us happier, healthier and help us live longer. And this is true across the lifespan, across cultures and contexts. And therefore almost certainly true for nearly every human being who ever lived. For this reason they argue that social fitness should be taught to children and be a central consideration in public policy. The authors wrote the book to share that it doesn’t matter whether how old someone is, where he is in his life cycle, whether someone is married or not, introverted or extroverted; but everyone can make positive turns in their lives. Thus they give plenty tips for every life cycle, partner crisis, family matters and friendship, how to reach (be interested and curious!) and how to uphold good relationships.
An encouraging, positive book with only one theme: Good relationships. That also means many, many recurrences and negligence of other points that may be also important for a happy life. But easy to read, with some lengths, but helpful and an eye opener in many respects.
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5 people found this helpfulReport
rafael
5.0 out of 5 stars MaravilhosoReviewed in Brazil on 4 November 2023
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Um livro muito bom sobre vida e ciência
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Christian C
5.0 out of 5 stars Really should be required reading in schoolsReviewed in the United States on 14 November 2023
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The book shows the value of a life well lived, especially in terms of relationships. These are the lessons that aren't being taught in schools that really should be, so people learn to value their relationships before they lose them.
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Review
"Fascinating. . . . Combining intensive research with actionable steps, this penetrating testament to the power of human connection offers gems for almost anyone looking to improve their happiness."-- "Publishers Weekly"
"Perfect for readers of Arthur Brooks, Daniel Pink, Angela Duckworth, and other writers who delve into how to fashion prosperous, fulfilling lives. An engrossing look at why relationships matter, featuring an unprecedented abundance of data to back it up."-- "Kirkus Reviews (starred review)"
"I'm beyond thrilled that Dr. Waldinger and Dr. Schulz are publishing the findings of the Harvard Study. Over the years, I've discussed their research and recommended Dr. Waldinger's TED talk around the world. I can hardly wait to recommend The Good Life. It's accessible, interesting, and grounded in research--and is bound to make a difference in the lives of millions."--Tal Ben-Shahar, bestselling author of Being Happy: You Don't Have to Be Perfect to Lead a Richer, Happier Life, and Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment
"The Good Life tells the story of a rare and fascinating study of lives over time. This insightful, interesting, and well-informed book reveals the secret of happiness--and reminds us that it was never really a secret, after all."--Daniel Gilbert, author of the New York Times best-seller Stumbling on Happiness; and host of the PBS television series This Emotional Life
"In a crowded field of life advice and even life advice based on scientific research, Schulz and Waldinger stand apart. Capitalizing on the most intensive study of adult development in history, they tell us what makes a good life and why."--Angela Duckworth, author of Grit, Christopher H. Browne Distinguished Professor of Psychology, University of Pennsylvania, co-founder and CEO of Character Lab
"Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz lead us on an empowering quest towards our greatest need: meaningful human connection. Blending research from an ongoing 80-year study of life satisfaction with emotional storytelling proves that ancient wisdom has been right all along - a good life is built with good relationships."--Jay Shetty, bestselling author of Think Like a Monk and host of the podcast On Purpose
"This book is simply extraordinary. It weaves 'hard data' and enlightening case studies and interviews together seamlessly in a way that stays true to the science while humanizing it. And what an important lesson it teaches. It helps people to understand how they should live their lives, and also provides a spectacular picture of what psychology can be at its best. It is data driven, of course, but data are just noise without wise interpretation."--Barry Schwartz, author of Practical Wisdom (with Kenneth Sharpe) and Why We Work
"Waldinger and Schulz are world experts on the counterintuitive things that make life meaningful. Their bookwill provide welcome advice for a world facing unprecedented levels of unhappiness and loneliness."--Laurie Santos, PhD, Chandrika and Ranjan Tandon Professor of Psychology at Yale University and host of the podcast The Happiness Lab podcast
"Waldinger and Schulz have written an essential -- perhaps the essential -- book on human flourishing. Backed by extraordinary research and packed with actionable advice, The Good Life will expand your brain and enrich your heart."--Daniel H. Pink, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Power of Regret, Drive, and A Whole New Mind
"Want the secret to the good life? Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz give it to you in this magnificent new book. Based on the longest survey ever conducted over people's lives, The Good Life reveals who winds up happy, who doesn't, and why--and how you can use this information starting today."--Arthur C. Brooks, Professor, Harvard Kennedy School and Harvard Business School, and #1 New York Times bestselling author
About the Author
Dr. Robert Waldinger is a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development at Massachusetts General Hospital, and cofounder of the Lifespan Research Foundation. Dr. Waldinger received his AB from Harvard College and his MD from Harvard Medical School. He is a practicing psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, and he directs a psychotherapy teaching program for Harvard psychiatry residents. He is also a Zen master (Roshi) and teaches meditation in New England and around the world.
Marc Schulz is the associate director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development and the Sue Kardas PhD 1971 Chair in Psychology at Bryn Mawr College. He also directs the Data Science Program and previously chaired the psychology department and Clinical Developmental Psychology PhD program at Bryn Mawr. Dr. Schulz received his BA from Amherst College and his PhD in clinical psychology from the University of California at Berkeley. He is a practicing therapist with postdoctoral training in health and clinical psychology at Harvard Medical School.
Product details
Publisher : Simon & Schuster (10 January 2023)
Language : English
Hardcover : 352 pages
ISBN-10 : 198216669X
ISBN-13 : 978-1982166694
Dimensions : 15.24 x 3.3 x 22.86 cmBest Sellers Rank: 228,876 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)322 in Longevity
702 in Friendship (Books)
4,226 in Self-Help for HappinessCustomer Reviews:
4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 1,293 ratings
About the authors
Follow authors to get new release updates, plus improved recommendations.
Follow
Marc Schulz Ph.D
Marc Schulz, PhD, is the Associate Director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development and an award-winning professor at Bryn Mawr College, where he directs the Data Science Program and is the Sue Kardas PhD 1971 Chair in Psychology. He completed his BA at Amherst College and his Ph.D. at the University of California at Berkeley.
See more on the author's page
Follow
Robert J. Waldinger
Dr. Robert Waldinger is a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development at Massachusetts General Hospital, and cofounder of the Lifespan Research Foundation. Dr. Waldinger received his AB from Harvard College and his MD from Harvard Medical School. He is a practicing psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, and he directs a psychotherapy teaching program for Harvard psychiatry residents. He is also a Zen master (Roshi) and teaches meditation in New England and around the world.
See more on the author's page
Top reviews
Top reviews from Australia
Avid Reader
5.0 out of 5 stars excellent bookReviewed in Australia on 13 March 2023
Verified Purchase
A very good book on the world’s longest study into the good life. Really pleased to have read this book and thoroughly recommended
HelpfulReport
John Storer
2.0 out of 5 stars Self help not scienceReviewed in Australia on 2 April 2023
Verified Purchase
Could have been an extremely interesting book if the author had stuck to the science. Instead the underlying study was used as a launching pad for another self help book. Disappointing.
One person found this helpful
HelpfulReport
Jason Van
1.0 out of 5 stars It’s a notebook not the novel!Reviewed in Australia on 20 February 2023
Verified Purchase
Buyer beware, this product is a notebook and not the actual book. Read the description carefully!
HelpfulReport
Warren Mills
2.0 out of 5 stars A fraudulent conclusion to an 80 year study.Reviewed in Australia on 26 March 2023
The Good Life is a highly anticipated summary of the well-known 80-year Harvard study, concluding that human fulfillment and happiness is the result of good relationships. While this conclusion is obvious, the case-studies and reasons given are amazingly superficial and self-serving. Throughout the text are many quotes from Buddhism, listed as one of the author's primary interests. For such a study to ignore the uniqueness of the western democratic capitalism and its Judeo-Christian roots, summarized by Christ's Golden Rule which teaches us to "Love God and our neighbors as ourselves." This omission cannot be an oversight. Rather, it is a fraudulent attempt to avoid the explanation that history's most influential person had anything to do with it.
HelpfulReport
See more reviews
Top reviews from other countries
Translate all reviews to English
Douglass Andrew Morrison
5.0 out of 5 stars An important lesson from 80 years of longitudinal study of a 50s Harvard classReviewed in the United States on 8 March 2023
Verified Purchase
My Goodreads review of this book
The Good Life by Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz is based on the Grant Study, an 80-year longitudinal study of a select group of Harvard graduates from the 1950s. The Grant study has been to the study of healthy mental and social adaptation akin to what the Framingham study has been for the study of cardiovascular health and the development of cardiovascular illness. These types of studies identify people who have not yet manifested illness and follow them prospectively over time. These studies are like a photo album over the course of one’s life rather than a single photograph. The prospective study design allows one to identify risk factors for the development of cardiovascular disease in studies like Framingham.
In the Grant study, factors like the use of recognized psychological defenses or adaptive behaviors can be correlated with subsequent psychological or social outcomes. The outcomes typically are discussed in terms of a range, for example happy, long-term marriage versus unhappy union with or without divorce, versus the choice to remain single. Social and cultural norms and biases influence the interpretation of many of these psychosocial outcomes. This makes the process more nuanced than medical outcomes like heart attack or stroke, which are uniformly seen as adverse. The separation of desirable from adverse psychosocial outcomes can be facilitated by using the individual’s own interpretation of satisfying versus unsatisfying or happy versus unhappy.
One can look for an association between explanatory variables like the use of specific psychological defenses and different outcome variables, like a satisfying career or happy marriage. By comparing the relative strength of these associations, one can infer whether specific outcomes are more or less likely among groups with and without the different adaptive behaviors and/ or use of known defenses. The inferences are bolstered by vignettes from many individuals’ stories.
The Good Life is a follow-up to the report by George Vaillant, Adaptation to Life. In my Goodreads review of Adaptation to Life, I mentioned several motifs that Dr. Vaillant advanced:
• Isolated childhood traumas appeared to be less important than sustained relationships with important people in the subjects’ lives.
• Lives changed over time.
• The key to understanding the subjects’ psychology or psychopathology was to understand the subjects’ adaptive mechanisms or use of psychological defenses.
• Human development continues throughout one’s life.
• Mental health can be considered somewhat independent of moral and cultural values.
These themes are developed further in Waldinger's and Schulz's book, The Good Life. It continues to emphasize the important role of close relationships in the observed subject’s physical and mental health, sense of satisfaction, and personal happiness.
Critically, this book begins to generalize some of the things we readers might learn from the more, and less, adaptive members of the observed cohort. This process begins with one of the most important lessons I took away from my medical school psychiatry rotations: try to observe how we feel in the presence of our patients. Our feelings can be important clues to our patients’ psychiatric diagnoses. This insight can be applied to interpersonal dynamics with relatively healthy people including our family and friends.
From this simple but fraught insight comes the acronym of this book: WISER which the authors apply to all sorts of close human relationships aiming in each case to improve the quality of those relationships. W stands for Watch as in observing our own feelings. As the psychiatry adage goes, 'Don't just do something. Sit there.' And while sitting, observe our own feelings. The I stands for Interpret, whereby we are to ponder, why am I feeling this way? The trained therapist continuously aims for greater understanding and empathy, and less judgment, in answering this question. Based upon one's answer to the previous question, we consider our options as to how to respond. The S stands for Select, whereby we choose from among the options. We then are to Engage or implement with care, meaning with awareness of the other person's feelings. The R stands for Reflect. After trying this sequence, we reflect on how it went, and what we can learn from the sequence. Much of the book consists in applying these steps to our important relationships (marriage, parenting, work), based on the data and stories of participants in the Grant Study.
Part of the frustration I had with psychiatry, as a medical trainee, was the emphasis on deterministic factors (nature and nurture) over which I, as a physician had no control. My therapist-daughter and I joke about this limitation with the question, 'How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? It only takes one psychiatrist to change a light bulb, so long as the light bulb wants to change. It was no accident that I became an interventional cardiologist, a field in which some of my efforts could produce changes largely independent of my patient's compliance, at least over the short haul. For example, when I implanted a coronary stent during an acute myocardial infarction, my efforts could enhance blood flow and relieve myocardial ischemia, without depending upon the patient's desire or efforts to change.
My biggest gain from reading both Adaptation to Life and The Good Life is the sense of hope for facilitating, not causing, or controlling, healthy change in my relationships with other people, including my family members, friends, and my patients. It starts with the efforts to change myself, particularly in becoming more understanding and empathic, and less judgmental.
Read more
59 people found this helpfulReport
Laura A. Handrick
5.0 out of 5 stars Real data! Real insights. Am sharing with others...Reviewed in the United States on 21 November 2023
Verified Purchase
I loved the book, the data, the insights and the questions that I was able to do myself as a self assessment. After reading the book, I told my friends about it and passed my copy along to my daughter who loves data-based facts and insights. If you're a data geek, you'll love this book. If you want to have a good life, you'll love this book.
Report
philosophisch-ethische-rezensionen
4.0 out of 5 stars One TopicReviewed in Germany on 25 February 2023
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The authors are director and associate director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development respectively. This stunning study has followed the lives of two generations of individuals from the same families for more than eighty years from youth until death. It began 1938 and is still going on today. The radical new question for its time of the study is not to ask what made people sick, but what made them thrive. Now the study includes 3 generations and more than 1.300 of the descendants of its original 724 participants. The conclusion of the book, its evaluation is that when you want to make a single decision that could best ensure your own health and happiness, science tells us that we should cultivate warm relationships of all kinds. And how to reach this the authors and The Harvard Study of Adult Development want to point the way. Very touching stories of the study the book tells, stories of very happy (and often seemingly inconspicuous) lives and stories of very unhappy (and often commercial successful) lives. The findings of the studies are made by continuous questionnaires and also face to face interviews in longer intervals and medical data. One of the happiest participants ever, the reader is told, was asked in a questionnaire at the end of his life what his most enjoyable activity that he and his wife engage in together is. The Participant who serves bravely in World War II, travelled all over the world, built his own homes with no formal training, who raised a happy stepson and volunteered every day in his community, wrote the thing he and his wife enjoyed most was: “Just being together.” And therein basically lays the key for a happy life. Happy relationships with family, close and remote friends or even an interested attitude in mere casual acquaintances. The authors know: The good life is a complicated life for everybody. It is joyful and challenging. And it never strictly happens, but instead it unfolds through time. It is a process. And of course, it always ends in death. The Harvard Study is in general prospective, the participants are asked about the life as it is, not as it was. After studying hundreds of entire lives, the authors confirm that a life of good relationships stands out for its power and consistency. People who are more connected to family, friends, community are happier and physically healthier than people who are less connected. Lonely people also live a shorter life. Concerning this the authors are alarmed that this sense of disconnection from others is growing across the world. But the study also shows: It is never too late for striving for good connections and a good life. Good relations, they are convinced, keep us happier, healthier and help us live longer. And this is true across the lifespan, across cultures and contexts. And therefore almost certainly true for nearly every human being who ever lived. For this reason they argue that social fitness should be taught to children and be a central consideration in public policy. The authors wrote the book to share that it doesn’t matter whether how old someone is, where he is in his life cycle, whether someone is married or not, introverted or extroverted; but everyone can make positive turns in their lives. Thus they give plenty tips for every life cycle, partner crisis, family matters and friendship, how to reach (be interested and curious!) and how to uphold good relationships.
An encouraging, positive book with only one theme: Good relationships. That also means many, many recurrences and negligence of other points that may be also important for a happy life. But easy to read, with some lengths, but helpful and an eye opener in many respects.
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rafael
5.0 out of 5 stars MaravilhosoReviewed in Brazil on 4 November 2023
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Um livro muito bom sobre vida e ciência
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Christian C
5.0 out of 5 stars Really should be required reading in schoolsReviewed in the United States on 14 November 2023
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The book shows the value of a life well lived, especially in terms of relationships. These are the lessons that aren't being taught in schools that really should be, so people learn to value their relationships before they lose them.
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