The Question That Sparked the Deepest Faith Conversation We'd Ever Had
Here's what nobody tells you about raising kids in a Christian home: talking about faith can feel harder than it should.
By Ben Jones • 30 April 2025
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Sarah stared at the card in her hand, reading it for the third time. Her family sat around the dinner table, the usual post-meal chatter dying down as everyone noticed her hesitation.
What three questions would you most like to ask God?
"This one feels... big," she said, glancing up at her husband Mark and their two teenagers. They'd been using conversation cards for family time lately, but this question hit different. It wasn't about favorite movies or childhood memories. This was about faith, doubt, wonder – the stuff they talked about at church but somehow never really discussed at home.
"Too big?" Mark asked, already reaching for another card from the deck.
"No," Sarah said, surprising herself. "Let's do it."
What happened next changed everything about how their family talked about faith.
When Faith Gets Stuck in Sunday Mode
Here's what nobody tells you about raising kids in a Christian home: talking about faith can feel harder than it should.
You'd think it would be natural, right? You pray before meals, attend church regularly, read Bible stories. But when it comes to the real, messy, wonder-filled questions about God and life and what it all means – those conversations feel way more complicated.
Even families who grew up Christian often find faith conversations "a little uncomfortable" because we're afraid of saying the wrong thing, of not having all the answers, or of our kids thinking we're being "preachy."
So we stick to the safe stuff. How was school? What's for dinner? Did you finish your homework?
Meanwhile, our teenagers are wrestling with questions about purpose and meaning. Our spouses are navigating seasons of doubt or spiritual growth. And we're all kind of dancing around the very thing that's supposed to be the foundation of our family life.
The Question That Changes Everything
Back to Sarah's dinner table. When she read that question out loud – What three questions would you most like to ask God? – something shifted.
Her 16-year-old daughter Emma, who usually gave one-word answers to anything deeper than "pass the salt," actually looked up from her phone.
"Can I go first?" Emma asked.
And then she said something that made Sarah's heart skip: "I'd ask God why He lets bad things happen to good people. Like, I know all the Sunday school answers, but I really want to understand."
Mark set down his coffee mug. Their 14-year-old son Jake stopped fidgeting with his napkin. Even Sarah felt her shoulders relax – not because the question was easy, but because it was finally out there. The thing Emma had probably been thinking about for months, maybe years.
"That's such a good question, Em," Sarah said. "I think I'd ask that too."
And just like that, they were having the conversation they'd all been avoiding. Not because it was forced or scheduled, but because one simple question created space for it.
Why We Avoid the Deep Stuff
Here's the thing about faith conversations in families: we avoid them for really understandable reasons.
We're scared we don't know enough. What if our teenager asks about evolution and Genesis? What if our spouse brings up something they heard on a podcast that challenges what we believe? What if we say something that sounds cliche or damages their faith somehow?
We assume it'll be awkward. Many Christian families experience "awkward silence" when trying to discuss faith, so we stick to safer topics. But awkward isn't always bad – sometimes it just means we're touching on something that matters.
We think it has to be formal. Like we need to schedule "family devotions" with workbooks and prayer lists. But the most meaningful conversations usually happen when you're just... talking. Really talking.
We're worried about judgment. What if I admit I sometimes doubt? What if my question sounds stupid? What if my faith isn't as strong as everyone thinks it should be?
But here's what Sarah discovered that night: those fears dissolve pretty quickly when someone creates a safe space to be honest.
The Magic of the Right Question
After Emma shared her question about suffering, the floodgates opened.
Jake said he'd ask God what heaven is actually like, because all the descriptions he'd heard sounded "kind of boring, to be honest."
Mark admitted he'd want to know if he was doing enough to help people in need, or if he was just living comfortably while others suffered.
Sarah realized she'd ask God about timing – why some prayers seem to get answered quickly while others take years, or never seem to get answered at all.
For the next hour, they talked about doubt and wonder, about prayers that felt unanswered and moments when God felt really close. They shared stories Sarah had never heard before, fears she didn't know her kids were carrying, hopes she didn't know her husband was nurturing.
When families open conversations about faith and decision-making, it helps younger family members understand how Christian values can guide daily choices – but it also helps parents understand what their kids are really thinking about.
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What Happened Next (And Why It Matters)
That conversation didn't solve everything. Emma still has questions about suffering. Jake still wonders about heaven. Mark still wrestles with social justice. Sarah still gets frustrated with God's timing.
But something fundamental shifted in their family dynamic.
They started having these conversations more often. Not scheduled, not formal, just... natural. Emma brought up something from youth group. Jake asked about a Bible verse that confused him. Mark shared something he was learning in men's group.
The scary topics became normal topics. The deep questions became family questions.
And here's the beautiful part: their faith didn't get weaker from all the questioning and wondering. It got stronger. More real. More theirs.
The Question Behind the Question
What three questions would you most like to ask God?
On the surface, it's about curiosity and wonder. But underneath, it's really asking: What are you genuinely wrestling with? What keeps you up at night? Where do you need clarity, peace, or understanding?
It's permission to be human in your faith. To admit you don't have it all figured out. To wonder and wrestle and question – not as a sign of weak faith, but as evidence of living faith.
Christian conversation starters often pose questions that encourage individuals to reflect on their spiritual journey, personal beliefs, and experiences with faith – and that reflection is where real growth happens.
Starting Your Own Deep Conversations
You don't need a perfect setup or a theology degree to have meaningful faith conversations with your family.
You just need the right question at the right moment.
Maybe it's over dinner, like Sarah's family. Maybe it's during a car ride, or while you're doing dishes together, or during those few minutes before bedtime when kids are most talkative.
The key is creating space for honesty without judgment. When someone shares a doubt, don't rush to fix it. When someone asks a hard question, don't panic if you don't have a ready answer. When someone wonders about something that challenges your own beliefs, don't shut it down.
Listen first. Really listen. Not to craft your response, but to understand what's behind the question.
Share your own struggles. Your kids and spouse don't need you to have perfect faith. They need you to have real faith. The kind that includes questions and doubts and wrestling.
Make it normal. The more you talk about faith as part of regular life, the less scary and formal it becomes.
Be patient with silence. Sometimes the most meaningful conversations include long pauses while people think. That's not awkward – that's processing.
Beyond Sunday Mornings
The most beautiful thing about Sarah's family discovery is that faith became something they talked about on Tuesday afternoons and Thursday car rides, not just Sunday mornings.
Their kitchen table became a place where doubt and wonder were welcome. Where questions didn't need perfect answers. Where faith was something they explored together rather than something they performed alone.
And isn't that what we really want? Not families who can recite all the right answers, but families who feel safe asking the real questions. Who support each other through seasons of doubt and discovery. Who grow in faith together, messily and beautifully and honestly.
The Invitation
Maybe you're reading this and thinking about your own family, your own conversations, your own questions that feel too big or too scary to voice out loud.
What if they're not too big? What if they're exactly the right size for bringing you closer together, closer to truth, closer to God?
What if the question that feels too hard to ask is actually the question that opens up everything you've been hoping for?
What three questions would you most like to ask God?
Maybe it's time to find out what happens when you ask it.
Because the deepest conversations – the ones that change everything – they don't usually start with perfect words or perfect timing. They start with one person being brave enough to ask the question that everyone's been thinking about but nobody's been brave enough to voice.
They start with someone saying, "This feels big. Let's do it anyway."
Your kitchen table is waiting. Your family is waiting. The conversation you've been longing for – it's just one question away.
The Problem With Playing It Safe
==
The Night Everything Changed
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What Happened Next Surprised Everyone
==
The Cards That Started It All
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The Ripple Effect
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What I Learned About Creating Safe Spaces
==
Beyond The Right Answers
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When Faith Gets Real
==
What I'd Tell My Past Self
==
The Invitation To Go Deeper
Sarah stared at the card in her hand, reading it for the third time. Her family sat around the dinner table, the usual post-meal chatter dying down as everyone noticed her hesitation.
What three questions would you most like to ask God?
"This one feels... big," she said, glancing up at her husband Mark and their two teenagers. They'd been using conversation cards for family time lately, but this question hit different. It wasn't about favorite movies or childhood memories. This was about faith, doubt, wonder – the stuff they talked about at church but somehow never really discussed at home.
"Too big?" Mark asked, already reaching for another card from the deck.
"No," Sarah said, surprising herself. "Let's do it."
What happened next changed everything about how their family talked about faith.
When Faith Gets Stuck in Sunday Mode
Here's what nobody tells you about raising kids in a Christian home: talking about faith can feel harder than it should.
You'd think it would be natural, right? You pray before meals, attend church regularly, read Bible stories. But when it comes to the real, messy, wonder-filled questions about God and life and what it all means – those conversations feel way more complicated.
Even families who grew up Christian often find faith conversations "a little uncomfortable" because we're afraid of saying the wrong thing, of not having all the answers, or of our kids thinking we're being "preachy."
So we stick to the safe stuff. How was school? What's for dinner? Did you finish your homework?
Meanwhile, our teenagers are wrestling with questions about purpose and meaning. Our spouses are navigating seasons of doubt or spiritual growth. And we're all kind of dancing around the very thing that's supposed to be the foundation of our family life.
The Question That Changes Everything
Back to Sarah's dinner table. When she read that question out loud – What three questions would you most like to ask God? – something shifted.
Her 16-year-old daughter Emma, who usually gave one-word answers to anything deeper than "pass the salt," actually looked up from her phone.
"Can I go first?" Emma asked.
And then she said something that made Sarah's heart skip: "I'd ask God why He lets bad things happen to good people. Like, I know all the Sunday school answers, but I really want to understand."
Mark set down his coffee mug. Their 14-year-old son Jake stopped fidgeting with his napkin. Even Sarah felt her shoulders relax – not because the question was easy, but because it was finally out there. The thing Emma had probably been thinking about for months, maybe years.
"That's such a good question, Em," Sarah said. "I think I'd ask that too."
And just like that, they were having the conversation they'd all been avoiding. Not because it was forced or scheduled, but because one simple question created space for it.
Why We Avoid the Deep Stuff
Here's the thing about faith conversations in families: we avoid them for really understandable reasons.
We're scared we don't know enough. What if our teenager asks about evolution and Genesis? What if our spouse brings up something they heard on a podcast that challenges what we believe? What if we say something that sounds cliche or damages their faith somehow?
We assume it'll be awkward. Many Christian families experience "awkward silence" when trying to discuss faith, so we stick to safer topics. But awkward isn't always bad – sometimes it just means we're touching on something that matters.
We think it has to be formal. Like we need to schedule "family devotions" with workbooks and prayer lists. But the most meaningful conversations usually happen when you're just... talking. Really talking.
We're worried about judgment. What if I admit I sometimes doubt? What if my question sounds stupid? What if my faith isn't as strong as everyone thinks it should be?
But here's what Sarah discovered that night: those fears dissolve pretty quickly when someone creates a safe space to be honest.
The Magic of the Right Question
After Emma shared her question about suffering, the floodgates opened.
Jake said he'd ask God what heaven is actually like, because all the descriptions he'd heard sounded "kind of boring, to be honest."
Mark admitted he'd want to know if he was doing enough to help people in need, or if he was just living comfortably while others suffered.
Sarah realized she'd ask God about timing – why some prayers seem to get answered quickly while others take years, or never seem to get answered at all.
For the next hour, they talked about doubt and wonder, about prayers that felt unanswered and moments when God felt really close. They shared stories Sarah had never heard before, fears she didn't know her kids were carrying, hopes she didn't know her husband was nurturing.
When families open conversations about faith and decision-making, it helps younger family members understand how Christian values can guide daily choices – but it also helps parents understand what their kids are really thinking about.
You know that moment when you want to share something meaningful about your faith, but the words get stuck somewhere between your heart and your mouth? Yeah. Same.
We've all been there – sitting across from a friend at coffee, watching our kids play, or even lying in bed next to our spouse, feeling this gentle nudge to go deeper. To talk about the stuff that actually matters. But then that familiar anxiety creeps in.
What if they think I'm being preachy? What if it gets weird? What if I say the wrong thing?
Here's the thing I've learned after years of fumbling through these conversations (and trust me, there's been some spectacular fumbling): meaningful faith conversations don't have to feel like you're delivering a sermon or conducting an intervention.
They can be as natural as breathing – if you know how to create the right space for them.
Why Faith Conversations Feel So Daunting
Let's be honest for a second. Moving our existing interactions with friends and neighbours onto a conversation that is eternally significant feels difficult. There's something about bringing up faith that feels... loaded. Heavy. Like we're shifting from casual Friday to Sunday service in the span of a sentence.
But here's what might surprise you: according to a recent survey, 33% of non-Christians are open to talking more about faith. That's 1 in 3 of our friends, waiting for and wanting us to initiate a spiritual conversation.
So if people are actually open to these conversations, why do they still feel so hard?
Because most of us are approaching them all wrong.
We think we need to have all the answers, deliver perfect theology, or somehow convince someone in a single conversation. But real faith sharing? It's more like planting seeds than conducting a harvest. And the best gardens grow when you create the right conditions – not when you force things to bloom.
1. Start With Your Story, Not Scripture
I used to think sharing faith meant having the right Bible verses ready, the perfect theological argument, or at least a really compelling case for Christianity.
Turns out, the most powerful thing you can share is often the messiest: your own story.
Your story is the one thing no one can argue with or dismiss. It's not theology – it's reality.
It's your reality.
Maybe it's how prayer carried you through a difficult season. Maybe it's the peace you found when you finally stopped trying to control everything. Maybe it's as simple as noticing how different you feel on Sunday mornings now.
The beauty of starting with your story is that it doesn't feel like evangelism – it feels like friendship. Because that's exactly what it is.
Try something like: "I've been thinking lately about how much my faith has helped me with..." or "You know what's been interesting? Ever since I started praying about this situation..."
Notice how that feels different than "Have you ever considered that you might need Jesus in your life?"
Your story creates a bridge instead of a barrier.
2. Ask Questions That Matter (And Actually Listen)
Most of us have been trained to think that sharing faith means talking more, not listening more. But some of the most meaningful conversations I've had started with a simple question – and then shutting up long enough to hear the answer.
Questions like:
"What's been giving you hope lately?"
"Do you ever think about bigger purpose stuff?"
"What helps you when things get really hard?"
These aren't "gotcha" questions designed to trap someone into a testimony. They're genuine curiosity about what makes someone tick, what they lean on, what matters to them.
And here's where it gets beautiful: when you ask questions like this and really listen, people often open doors you never expected. They'll mention feeling lost, or grateful, or searching for something more. They'll share their own moments of wonder or doubt or hope.
Those are your invitations.
When someone says "I just wish I knew what the point of all this is," that's not your cue to launch into a presentation about God's plan. That's your cue to say, "I've felt that way too. Want to know what's helped me with that feeling?"
3. Create Natural Conversation Spaces
Meaningful conversations rarely happen when we force them. They happen when we create space for them to unfold naturally.
This is where most of us get it wrong. We wait for the perfect moment, the right crisis, or some divine intervention to create the opportunity. But what if we could be more intentional about creating these spaces?
Think about it: when do your best conversations usually happen? In the car on long drives? Late at night when the kids are finally asleep? While you're doing dishes together?
Start paying attention to those moments and lean into them. Instead of filling comfortable silence with small talk, try asking one deeper question. Instead of keeping things light, venture into something real.
Some of my favorite faith conversations have happened while folding laundry with my sister, sitting on the porch after dinner, or during those few minutes before bedtime prayers with my kids.
The key is recognizing that these everyday moments are actually sacred opportunities – if we have eyes to see them.
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4. Use Tools That Take the Pressure Off
Here's something I wish someone had told me years ago: you don't have to be the conversation starter AND the conversation guide AND the theology expert all at the same time.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is let someone else – or something else – help carry the conversation.
This is where tools like Talking Point Cards Christian Edition come in handy. These aren't your typical icebreaker cards. They're carefully crafted questions and prompts by experienced ministry and communication professionals designed to start healthy and faith-filled discussions.
Picture this: instead of sitting around the dinner table wondering how to bring up deeper topics with your family, you pull out a card that asks something like "What's one prayer you've seen answered this year?" or "If you could ask God one question, what would it be?"
Suddenly, the pressure's off you to manufacture the moment or come up with the perfect question. The card does the heavy lifting, and you get to focus on listening and responding.
I've used these with my own family, and I'm always amazed at what comes out. Kids will share things they've never mentioned before. Spouses will open up about struggles or hopes they hadn't found words for.
With 200 ways to ignite edifying and faith-filled discussion, you've got options for different moods, different people, different seasons. Some cards are gentle conversation starters. Others dive deeper. Some are perfect for couples, others work better in groups.
The genius is that they create permission for everyone to go deeper without anyone feeling put on the spot or pressured to perform.
5. Embrace the Awkward (It's Actually a Good Sign)
This might be the most important thing I can tell you: awkward isn't the enemy of meaningful conversation. Awkward is often the doorway.
Think about it – when was the last time you had a conversation that changed something in you? Chances are, it felt a little uncomfortable at first. A little uncertain. Maybe even a little scary.
That's because we're leaving the safety of small talk and entering the territory where real things happen.
The problem is, most of us bail out the moment things feel awkward. We laugh it off, change the subject, or make a joke. But what if we stayed in that space for just a few seconds longer?
It may feel awkward at first, but as you practice, that question becomes a natural fit for you in conversation. The more you lean into these moments instead of away from them, the more natural they become.
Here's my challenge for you: the next time a conversation starts to veer toward something meaningful and you feel that familiar awkward tension, don't run. Take a breath. Ask one more question. Share one more honest thing about your own experience.
You might be surprised at what happens on the other side of that awkwardness.
Making It Real in Your World
The truth is, most of us already have all the opportunities we need for meaningful faith conversations. We don't need to knock on doors or become street evangelists or join a missions trip to another country.
We need to start seeing the sacred in the ordinary. The divine appointments that are already built into our days.
Your morning coffee with your neighbor. The car ride with your teenager. The text conversation with your struggling friend. The dinner table with your family.
These aren't just life maintenance activities – they're mission fields. Not in the aggressive, convert-everyone sense, but in the gentle, love-well sense.
Start small. Choose one relationship this week where you want to go a little deeper. Think about what questions you could ask, what stories you could share, what space you could create.
And remember – you don't have to have it all figured out to start these conversations. You just have to be willing to be real about your own journey, curious about theirs, and patient with the process.
Some of the most powerful faith conversations I've ever had started with "I don't know, but here's what I've been thinking about..." or "I'm still figuring this out, but..."
Perfect theology isn't the goal. Authentic connection is.
Your Next Step
If you're feeling that familiar stirring – that gentle nudge to go deeper in your conversations – don't ignore it. That's not anxiety; that's invitation.
Start with one person. One question. One honest moment.
And if you need a little help breaking the ice? Those conversation cards I mentioned aren't just another gadget. They're a bridge between where you are now and where you want to be relationally. A tool that takes the pressure off and puts the focus back where it belongs: on connection, understanding, and genuine love.
Because at the end of the day, that's what faith conversations are really about. Not winning arguments or checking boxes, but loving people well by inviting them into the most important conversations of their lives.
And you know what? You're already equipped for that. You always have been.
If you've been there (and honestly, what Christian parent hasn't?), you know how these spontaneous faith conversations can catch us off guard. We want to nurture our kids' relationship with God, but sometimes we're not sure how to start those deeper discussions without it feeling forced or preachy.
Here's the thing: some of the most meaningful faith conversations happen when we ask the right questions. Not the surface-level "Did you pray today?" kind, but the ones that actually get our kids thinking, sharing, and connecting with their faith on a heart level.
I've pulled together 10 conversation starters that have this amazing way of opening up those beautiful, messy, real discussions about faith and life. These aren't your typical Sunday school questions – they're the kind that get everyone at the dinner table actually talking (instead of just asking for more mashed potatoes).
Why These Conversations Matter More Than We Think
Before we dive into the questions, can we talk about why this stuff actually matters?
We're raising our kids in a world that's... well, it's complicated. They're getting messages from everywhere about what to believe, how to live, what matters. And if we're not intentionally creating space for faith conversations at home, we're basically letting everyone else shape their spiritual foundation.
But here's what I love about asking good questions instead of just lecturing: it shows our kids that their thoughts and feelings about God actually matter to us. It says "I want to know what's going on in your heart," not just "Here's what you should think."
Plus, let's be honest – sometimes our kids surprise us with insights that make us think differently too.
The 10 Questions That Change Everything
What does it mean to you to say that you believe in God?
This one's beautiful because it's so personal. We throw around "I believe in God" all the time, but what does that actually mean to a 6-year-old versus a teenager? You might be surprised by the answers. Some kids talk about feeling safe, others about having someone to talk to, some about miracles or creation. There's no wrong answer here – just honest conversation about what faith feels like to them right now.
Who has taught you the most about faith?
Ooh, this one might make you tear up a little. Sometimes it's mom or dad (yay!), but often kids mention a grandparent, teacher, or even a friend. It's such a sweet reminder that God uses so many people to shape our children's faith journey.
How might you notice that someone needs help?
I love this question because it connects faith to action. It gets kids thinking about being the hands and feet of Jesus in practical, everyday ways. You'll hear everything from "when someone looks sad" to "when they don't have lunch money" – and suddenly you're talking about compassion and service.
Why do you think there is so much suffering in the world?
Okay, this is the heavy one. But our kids are thinking about this stuff anyway – they see the news, they hear conversations. This question gives us a chance to process it together instead of letting them wrestle with it alone. There's no easy answer here, and that's okay. Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is sit in the hard questions together and acknowledge that some things are difficult to understand this side of heaven.
If God didn't exist, do you think we would have morals or consciences to guide us?
This gets philosophical in the best way. Kids start thinking about where our sense of right and wrong comes from, why we care about treating people well, why fairness matters to us. It's a backdoor into talking about being made in God's image.
Are there any Biblical teachings which you think are old or outdated and can be ignored?
Whoa, right? This might feel scary to ask, but hear me out. Our kids are going to encounter this question anyway – from friends, teachers, culture. Better to talk through it together than have them navigate it alone. This opens up conversations about context, timeless truths versus cultural practices, and how to wrestle with Scripture in healthy ways.
If you had a problem, who would you talk to besides your parents?
This one's practical and important. We want our kids to know they can come to us, but we also want them to have other trusted adults in their lives. It helps us understand their support system and might reveal relationships we didn't know were meaningful to them.
What is one thing you are very excited about right now?
Sometimes we need a lighter question in the mix! This one shifts the energy and reminds us to celebrate the good stuff. Plus, excitement is contagious – you'll probably find yourself getting pumped about whatever they're pumped about.
If God is perfect and created the world, why are there problems in it?
Another tough one, but so important. This question comes up in pretty much every Christian kid's mind at some point. It's the problem of evil, the fall, the brokenness of our world – big theological concepts that kids experience in very real ways.
What is one cause you feel very passionate about?
This is where you see your kid's heart for justice and compassion. Maybe they care about animals, or hungry people, or kids who get bullied. This question helps you understand how God might be stirring their heart toward service and advocacy.
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Making These Conversations Actually Happen
Here's the thing about great questions – they're only great if we actually ask them. And let's be real, between work and school and sports and everything else, creating space for these conversations takes some intentionality.
Some of my favorite times for these discussions:
Car rides (captive audience, minimal eye contact pressure)
Bedtime (when kids tend to open up more)
Walks around the neighborhood
Cooking together
Long waits at appointments
The key is being ready when the moment feels right, not forcing it when everyone's stressed or distracted.
When You Don't Know the Answer
Can we acknowledge something? Sometimes our kids ask questions that we genuinely don't know how to answer. And that's... actually okay.
"That's such a good question – I'm not sure. What do you think?"
"I've wondered about that too. Should we look it up together?"
"You know what, I think different Christians might answer that differently."
Our job isn't to have all the answers. It's to create safe space for the questions and to walk through the wondering together.
Creating Your Family's Faith Conversation Culture
These 10 questions are just the beginning. Once you start having these kinds of conversations regularly, you'll find that deeper discussions become more natural. Your kids will start bringing up their own questions and observations about faith and life.
The goal isn't to have one big meaningful conversation and check it off your list. It's to weave these discussions into the fabric of your family life, creating a culture where faith questions are welcome and exploring them together is normal.
Some families do weekly question nights. Others write questions on slips of paper and pull them randomly during dinner. Some keep a running list of questions on the fridge. Find what works for your family's rhythm and personality.
The Beautiful Mess of Raising Kids in Faith
Here's what I've learned: raising kids to love Jesus isn't about having perfect answers or never struggling with doubts. It's about showing them that faith is big enough for their questions, strong enough for their struggles, and personal enough for their individual hearts.
These conversations won't always go smoothly. Sometimes you'll get one-word answers. Sometimes the discussion will veer into totally unexpected territory. Sometimes you'll realize your kid is thinking about things in ways that challenge your own assumptions.
And that's all part of the beautiful, messy, sacred work of nurturing young hearts toward God.
Ready to Go Deeper?
If these 10 questions have you thinking "Yes, this is exactly what our family needs," you're going to love what comes next. These conversation starters are actually just a taste of what's available in the Talking Point Cards Christian Edition.
Imagine having hundreds of thoughtful, faith-centered questions ready to go whenever those meaningful conversation moments arise. Questions designed specifically to help Christian families connect more deeply, explore faith together, and create the kinds of discussions that your kids will remember long after they're grown.
Because here's the truth: the conversations we have today are shaping the adults our children will become. The questions we ask now are planting seeds for the faith they'll carry with them always.
Your family's faith story is still being written. These conversations? They're some of the most important chapters.
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You know that moment when you pick up your kid from school, all excited to hear about their day, and you ask that classic parent question: "How was your day?"
"Fine."
So you try again. "What did you do today?"
"Nothing."
Ugh. There you are, sitting in your car feeling like you're speaking to a brick wall. Or maybe it's dinnertime and you're desperately trying to get some conversation going, but everyone's just... existing in the same space without really connecting.
I get it. I've been there too. That's the thing about parenting – sometimes you feel like you're living with these little humans you love SO much, but you can't figure out how to crack their shell. Especially when they hit those middle school years and suddenly become experts at one-word answers.
But here's what I've learned: the problem isn't that our kids don't want to talk. It's that we're asking the wrong questions.
Why "How Was Your Day?" Falls Flat Every Time
Let's be real for a second. When someone asks you "How was your day?" what's your instinctive response? Probably "fine" or "good," right? Even when your day was actually pretty interesting, that question just feels so... generic. So expected.
Your kids feel the same way. They're not trying to shut you out (well, most of the time). They just don't know how to answer such a big, vague question. I mean, where do they even start?
Plus, by the time they're 8 or 9, they've heard that question approximately 2,847 times. It's become background noise. Their brain automatically goes to default mode: Fine. Nothing. Can I have a snack now?
The solution? We need to get specific. We need to ask questions that actually make them think, that tap into their curiosity, that show we care about their inner world – not just their daily schedule.
The Magic of Questions That Actually Work
Here's the thing about great conversation starters: they bypass the small talk and go straight to the good stuff. They're unexpected enough that your kid can't answer on autopilot, but not so intense that they feel like they're being interrogated.
Research shows that meaningful family conversations can improve brain development and language processing skills in children, increase happiness and reduce stress, and strengthen relationships. But the key word here is meaningful.
So I've put together 10 questions that consistently get kids talking – and I mean really talking, not just answering. These aren't your typical dinner table questions. They're designed to spark curiosity, tap into emotions, and maybe even surprise you with what your kid is thinking about.
10 Questions That Actually Get Kids Talking
What is one thing you'd like to learn in the next year?
This question is beautiful because it gets them thinking about the future without the pressure of "what do you want to be when you grow up?" (which, let's be honest, stresses them out). Maybe they want to learn skateboarding, or how to bake bread, or why thunder happens. Whatever it is, you're getting a peek into their curiosities.
Does your family ever embarrass you? How?
Okay, this one might sting a little, but it's SO worth it. Kids feel seen when you acknowledge that yeah, sometimes parents are embarrassing (shocking, I know). It opens up honest conversation and often leads to some pretty funny stories. Plus, you might learn that your tendency to sing along to the radio isn't as charming as you thought.
What's one special talent that you would like to have?
This goes deeper than "what's your favorite subject?" It taps into their dreams and aspirations in a low-pressure way. You might discover your kid secretly wishes they could speak to animals, or fly, or make people laugh when they're sad.
If someone you loved was very sick but could not afford the medicine to get better, would it be OK to steal the medicine?
Now we're getting into the good stuff. This is the kind of question that reveals how your child thinks about right and wrong, fairness, and complex moral situations. There's no "right" answer, which is exactly why it works so well. It gets them thinking critically.
If you got into really big trouble, how do you think your parents would respond?
This one is incredibly revealing. It shows you how your child perceives you as a parent – are you seen as understanding or scary? Fair or unpredictable? Their answer might surprise you and could open up important conversations about communication and trust.
Which three objects would you save first if your house caught fire?
Beyond the practical answers (which are important!), this question reveals what your child values most. You might expect them to say their phone or gaming system, but kids often surprise you with sentimental choices like a stuffed animal from when they were little or a drawing their sibling made them.
Have you ever stood up for something you thought was right? What was it?
This question celebrates their moral courage and gets them thinking about their values. Even shy kids often have moments where they've defended a friend or spoken up about unfairness. It's a chance to acknowledge their character growth.
Does your life feel too busy or not busy enough? Why?
In our crazy scheduled world, this question helps you understand your child's perspective on their daily life. Some kids crave more downtime, others are actually bored and want more activities. You can't know unless you ask.
What would you do for fun if you had to give up electricity?
This gets them thinking creatively and might spark ideas for screen-free activities you can actually do together. Plus, it's fascinating to see how they'd adapt to a completely different way of living.
When do you feel proudest of who you are?
This is my personal favorite. It gets to the heart of their identity and self-worth. Their answer might be about a specific achievement, or a moment when they helped someone, or even just when they felt really confident about something. It's pure gold for understanding what makes your child tick.
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Making These Questions Work in Real Life
Here's the thing – you can't just fire these questions at your kid randomly and expect magic to happen. Context matters. Timing matters. And honestly? Your energy matters too.
The best conversations happen when everyone's relaxed and there's no pressure. Car rides are amazing for this (they can't escape, but they also don't have to make eye contact if they're feeling shy). Bedtime conversations work well too, when the day is winding down and guards are naturally lower.
Sometimes you'll ask one of these questions and get a shrug. That's okay! Try again another time, or let them see you answering it first. Model the kind of thoughtful response you're hoping for.
And here's a secret: these questions work on teenagers too. Actually, they work especially well on teens because they're craving to be seen as complex humans with real thoughts and opinions. Just... maybe don't make it obvious that you're trying to "get them to talk." Teens can smell that from a mile away.
When One Question Leads to Everything
Last week, I asked my friend's 12-year-old the question about learning something new in the next year. She said she wanted to learn how to make her own clothes because she's tired of everything looking the same and she wants to stand out.
That one question led to a 30-minute conversation about creativity, fitting in versus standing out, where fashion ideas come from, and even some pretty deep stuff about peer pressure and social media. From one simple question!
That's the power of asking the right thing at the right time. It's not about getting your kid to talk more (although that usually happens). It's about creating space for them to share what's really going on in their head and heart.
The Tool That Makes It Even Easier
Now, I could tell you to bookmark this post and try to remember these questions, but let's be honest – how often does that actually work? Life gets busy, you're tired, and suddenly you're back to "How was your day?" because it's just easier.
That's exactly why Talking Point Cards Family Edition exists. These aren't just random questions – they're expertly developed by real families and communication experts, designed specifically to create those meaningful moments of connection.
The beauty of having physical cards is that they're always there when you need them. Throw them in your car for road trips. Keep them on the dinner table. Pull one out when you're walking the dog together. With 200 straightforward questions and topics that children and parents alike will love sharing together, they help build trust and confidence while drawing out even your quiet teen.
It takes the pressure off you to remember the "right" question, and it takes the pressure off your kid because they know you're not making stuff up on the spot to psychoanalyze them.
The Bottom Line
Your kids want to connect with you. They really do. They just need the right invitation.
These 10 questions are your starting point – your way of showing them that you care about their thoughts, their feelings, their whole inner world. Not just their grades or their chores or whether they remembered their lunch.
And when you consistently show up with genuine curiosity about who they are becoming, something beautiful happens. Those "fine" and "whatever" responses start getting replaced with real stories, real thoughts, real connection.
Your family dinner table doesn't have to be silent. Your car rides don't have to be filled with radio music and awkward small talk. You have everything you need to turn those ordinary moments into the kind of conversations your kids will remember when they're adults.
The question is: which one will you try first?
You know that feeling when you're sitting across from your partner at dinner, and suddenly the conversation just... stops?
Maybe you've covered work drama, weekend plans, and what to watch on Netflix. But there's this little voice in your head wondering: When did we stop talking about the real stuff?
Here's the thing - every couple goes through seasons where conversations feel a bit surface-level. It's not that you love each other any less. Life just gets busy, routines set in, and before you know it, you're discussing grocery lists more than your actual dreams.
But what if I told you that tonight - literally tonight - you could shift that entire dynamic with just one thoughtful question?
The couples who feel most connected aren't necessarily the ones who never fight or always agree. They're the ones who stay curious about each other. Who keep asking questions that go beyond "How was your day?" They understand that intimacy isn't just physical—it's emotional, intellectual, and built through genuine conversation.
So whether you're curled up on the couch, lying in bed, or sitting across from each other at your favorite restaurant, these 10 questions are designed to open doors you might not have walked through in a while.
Fair warning: some of these might catch you both off guard. That's kind of the point.
1. When do you feel the most loved by me?
This question is pure gold because it's not asking if your partner feels loved - it's asking when.
You might think it's those grand romantic gestures (and hey, maybe it is), but you'll probably be surprised by their answer. Maybe it's when you make them coffee in the morning without being asked. Or when you text them something silly in the middle of your workday. Or when you remember that random story they told you about their coworker three weeks ago.
Here's what makes this question so powerful: it gives you a roadmap for loving them better. And honestly? Their answer might reveal love languages you didn't even realize were happening.
Pro tip: Really listen to this answer. Don't just nod along - store it away and do more of whatever they mention.
2. How do you think we work well together to balance each other out?
Every healthy relationship has this beautiful dance of differences. Where one person is cautious, the other might be spontaneous. Where one is detail-oriented, the other sees the big picture.
This question helps you both recognize and celebrate those differences instead of just tolerating them. It shifts the focus from "why don't you think like me?" to "wow, we actually make a pretty great team."
Plus, when you're having one of those days where your differences feel more like friction than flow, you can come back to this conversation and remember why those differences are actually your superpower as a couple.
3. What do you feel is currently missing from your life?
Okay, this one might feel a little heavy, but stay with me.
This isn't about pointing out what's wrong or making anyone feel guilty. It's about understanding what your partner is yearning for right now - maybe it's more adventure, deeper friendships, creative outlets, or just more quiet time.
Sometimes we assume we know what our partner needs (more date nights! less stress! a vacation!), but this question lets them tell you in their own words. And who knows? Maybe there's a way you can support that missing piece, or maybe it's something they need to pursue independently. Either way, you'll understand them better.
4. What's something you've tried that you'll never try again?
This question is just plain fun, and it usually leads to some pretty entertaining stories.
Maybe it's skydiving, maybe it's that experimental cooking phase, maybe it's agreeing to help their friend move (again). The beauty of this question is that it's light enough to make you both laugh, but it also reveals something about their boundaries and what they've learned about themselves.
Plus, you might discover some hilarious stories you've never heard before. Win-win.
5. What do you feel is the most romantic thing I've ever done for you?
Here's where you might get surprised again.
You're probably thinking of that time you planned the elaborate anniversary dinner or surprised them with concert tickets. But romance is so personal, and what feels romantic to one person might be completely different for another.
Maybe the most romantic thing was when you drove across town to bring them soup when they were sick. Or when you listened to them vent about their boss for an hour without trying to fix anything. Or that random Tuesday when you left them a sweet note.
This question helps you understand their definition of romance—not the hallmark card version, but their version.
6. What do you find difficult about how we argue?
Nobody likes talking about fighting, but here's the reality: every couple argues. The question isn't whether you'll disagree - it's how you'll handle it when you do.
This question opens up space to talk about your conflict patterns without actually being in the middle of a conflict. Maybe they feel like you shut down too quickly, or maybe they feel like things escalate too fast. Maybe they wish you'd take breaks during heated discussions, or maybe they want to resolve things immediately instead of letting them simmer.
When you understand what's hard for them about your arguments, you can start adjusting how you fight—and trust me, learning to fight better is relationship gold.
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7. What is one thing I've done this week that has made your life better?
This question is like a gratitude practice wrapped in a conversation starter.
It helps you both notice and acknowledge the small, everyday ways you care for each other. Because let's be real - most relationship magic happens in the mundane moments, not just the Instagram-worthy ones.
Maybe it was picking up their favorite snacks at the store, or handling that phone call they were dreading, or just being extra patient during a stressful day. This question helps you see your impact on their daily life, and it feels pretty amazing to hear.
8. How do you like to be comforted when you're down?
Everyone processes difficult emotions differently, and everyone needs comfort in different ways.
Some people want to talk it out immediately. Others need space first. Some want practical solutions, others just want to be heard. Some people want physical affection, others prefer gentle distraction.
The problem is, we often comfort people the way we like to be comforted, which doesn't always land right. This question helps you understand their specific needs so you can show up for them in the way that actually helps.
9. What's something I do all the time that drives you nuts?
Okay, this one requires some emotional maturity from both of you, but it's so worth it.
Every couple has those little quirks and habits that can be... let's call them "character building" for the relationship. Maybe you leave dishes in the sink, or you're always running five minutes late, or you have this way of telling stories that takes forever to get to the point.
When this question is asked with love and curiosity (not during a fight!), it can actually bring relief. Sometimes your partner just wants to acknowledge that thing without it becoming a Big Deal. And sometimes, when you know something bothers them, you can make small adjustments that show you care.
Important note: This only works if you both can laugh about it and if the thing being mentioned isn't actually harmful - just mildly annoying.
10. What's one dream that you've tucked away for now?
This question gets to the heart of who your partner is becoming, not just who they are right now.
We all have dreams that feel too big, too impractical, or just not right for this season of life. Maybe it's writing a novel, learning to surf, starting their own business, or moving somewhere completely different.
When you ask about tucked-away dreams, you're saying: "I see you as more than just your current responsibilities. I'm curious about the bigger version of yourself." And that's incredibly intimate.
Sometimes just talking about these dreams can reignite a spark. Sometimes it leads to planning small steps toward them. And sometimes it just feels good to be witnessed in your wanting.
Making It Happen Tonight
Here's the thing about deep questions—they work best when you're both actually present for them.
Put the phones away. Make eye contact. Give each other permission to think before answering. Some of these questions might bring up emotions, memories, or realizations that surprise you both.
And remember: you don't have to tackle all ten questions in one sitting. Pick one or two that feel right for this moment. Let the conversation unfold naturally. Follow the threads that feel most interesting or important.
The goal isn't to conduct an interview - it's to rediscover each other.
The Beautiful Thing About Staying Curious
When couples stop asking questions, they stop growing together. They start making assumptions about what their partner thinks, feels, or wants. They stop being surprised by each other.
But when you stay curious - when you keep asking thoughtful questions—your relationship stays alive and evolving. You realize that the person you fell in love with is still becoming someone new, and so are you.
These conversations don't just bring you closer; they remind you why you chose each other in the first place. And they help you keep choosing each other, over and over again.
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Want more questions like these? The Talking Point Cards: Couples Edition has hundreds of thoughtful conversation starters designed to help couples connect more deeply. Perfect for date nights, road trips, or those quiet moments when you want to go beyond small talk.
SHK/ Hamburger Kunsthalle/ bpk. Photo: Elke Walford
Courtesy of NEON
SHK/ Hamburger Kunsthalle/ bpk. Photo: Elke Walford
Paul Storrie
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