Getting Real: Ten Truth Skills You Need to Live an Authentic Life: Ph.D. Susan Campbell
Getting Real: Ten Truth Skills You Need to Live an Authentic Life Paperback – May 10, 2001
by Ph.D. Susan Campbell (Author)
4.7 out of 5 stars 51 customer reviews
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Everyone values honest communication, yet few people possess the requisite skills. Susan Campbell provides simple yet practical awareness practices — culled from her 35-year career as a relationship coach and corporate consultant — that require individuals to “let go” of the need to be right, safe, and certain. Such questions as “In what areas of my life do I feel the need to lie, sugarcoat, or pretend?” help guide the reader toward self-realization. The ten truth skills include Letting Yourself Be Seen, Taking Back Projections, Saying No, Welcoming Feedback, Expressing Taboo Thoughts and Emotions, Revising an Earlier Statement, Holding Differences, Sharing Mixed Emotions, and Embracing the Silence of Not Knowing.
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Susan M. Campbell
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Biography
Psychologist Susan Campbell has worked as a corporate trainer and relationship coach for over 40 years. A former professor at the University of Massachusetts, she is author of twelve books on the topic of relationships and human communication. Her most recent work centers on how to use honest, present-centered communication as vehicle for personal healing and expanded self-awareness. This body of work has put her at the forefront of the Honesty Movement in Psychology and is described in her best-selling, Getting Real and her more recent books, Truth in Dating, Saying What's Real, and Five Minute Relationship Repair. Her work has been featured in many popular magazines including New Woman, Psychology Today, Self, Harvard Business Review, Seventeen, Men's Health, New Age, Fast Company, and Yoga Journal. To view her recent work on video, go to You Tube and search for drsusan95472. For more information, visit her website www.susancampbell.com
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Customer Reviews
4.7 out of 5 stars 51
Top Customer Reviews
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4.0 out of 5 starsreal speaking in an uncertain world
By Rebecca Brown on October 30, 2001
Format: Paperback
Dr. Susan Campbell explains how we can get honest communications in a world of superficial chatter & white lies. In the Aftermath of September 11th, Getting Real has a lot to say about effective awareness practices.
This book provides a set of simple & effective awareness practices that give you ideas on how to discover the freedom that comes from relating more & controlling less.
Having said that, Getting Real will make you work - packed into 231 pages is a trunkful of baggage we carry about, shielding us, distracting us. From "How to Stop Being Right and Start Being Real" to "Experiencing What Is: To get Where You Need to Go, Be Where You Are"; from "Being Transparent: Freedom's Just Another Word for Nothing Left to Hide" to "Noticing Your Intent: Is It to Relate or to Control?"; from "Welcoming Feedback: It's How We Learn" to "Taking Back Projections: Discovering Your Other Side." & so on, Dr. Campbell works us through each process with sidebars, quizzes, examples, explanations, a good Resource Guide & Index.
There's so much to work on - so much to learn, some you might already know - most you won't have given a second thought to until you turn the page & find yourself murmuring: "Ahha!" I felt decades & pounds lighter after I'd worked the exercises & read the book! While Getting Real is hard work - it is good medicine!
I just wish Getting Real had been bigger in size - along the lines of a cookbook with wide margins - so I could lay it flat & make notations!
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5.0 out of 5 starsA Life-Changing Book
By Amy on April 10, 2002
Format: Paperback
After reading Radical Honesty I quite accidentally came across this book in the library! And while I found Radical Honesty compelling and challenging, I also felt uncertain of my ability to truly practice the skills Brad Blantoon proposed.
Susan Campbell presents many of the same challenges to her readers, but gives such powerful concrete examples that I found it easier to understand and begin to apply in my own life.
The Truth Skills are clear, very comprehendable, and while simple in that way, for me living them will be a challenge.
I scored high on all of her self-assessment quizzes - and yet I did not read the book and come away feeling like I am some sort of failure as a person, just that I am indeed like most of the people roaming this earth. What makes me different is my desire to change and grow. Where I see myself failing most significantly in my life is in the area of communicating and relating in healthy ways. Learning to live in "what IS" and not what I imagine, learning to relate and not control, and to listen closely to my self-talk, to feel free to communicate and to be ABLE to communicate and to be real, for example, for me will be life changing.
I cannot recommend this book highly enough!
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5.0 out of 5 starsWonderful!! A must-read book!
By A Customer on November 5, 2001
Format: Paperback
Getting Real is an honest and straightforward book about freedom. Many of us, perhaps most of us, learn from early childhood experiences that it's not safe to be ourselves. We take on false beliefs that become part of our adult lives. This book shows us, step by step, how to free ourselves from the need to control how others view us and find the
freedom that comes from "relating" as opposed to "controlling."
The book is organized around 10 truth skills that help us learn to communicate authentically and discover that "we are most loveable when we are most transparent." When we speak from our own experience instead of from our judments and interpretations, we enter the realm of the here-and-now. We learn to communicate our honesty with presence and compassion, instead of trying to prove ourselves right.
Dr. Campbell, a corporate consultant and seminar leader, has found that when people practice these skills, their fear of speaking honestly dissolves. They develop an unshakeable sense of inner safety and security, so they no longer need to control other peoples' opinions or reactions.
Indeed, Getting Real teaches us everything from how to experience reality and how to be transparent (feeling good about revealing your true self) to how to assert your wants and how to embrace silence in a relationship. Dr. Campbell writes, "Profound things happen when two people sit face-to-face and openly explore their feelings toward each other in the present." Susan Campbell, Ph.D. has, in this reviewer's opinion, given us the ability to see and appreciate our true selves!
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5.0 out of 5 starsA better way to view the world
By John Chancellor TOP 500 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on July 31, 2009
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
If you want to have better relationships, to fit better in the world and to understand what goes on and wrong with relationships, then Getting Real is a must read.
At the outset, Susan Campbell tells us, "that about 80 percent of the average person's communications are geared toward controlling things that are actually beyond the person's control: a huge waste of human energy."
Trying to control things beyond your control has to lead to frustration, anger, anxiety and increased levels of stress. It is not healthy for relationships.
"The people in my study who experienced the greatest number of painful unexpected surprises (such as job loss, divorce, and alienation from their grown children) were those who demonstrated the highest need for control."
There is an extremely valuable lesson here. Give up trying to control and learn to accept what is. She says we need to give up our need to be right and start being real.
The ten truth skills are: 1) Experience what is 2) Be transparent 3) Notice your intent 4) Welcome feedback 5) Assert what you want and what you don't want 6) Quit projecting 7) Be open to revising previous statements 8) Be okay with holding different viewpoints 9) Learn to share mixed emotions and 10) Learn to live in the moment
This book is very well written and based on years of research and actual practice. There are plenty of examples to support the 10 Truth Skills.
You will need to approach this book with an open mind. If you are not trained in these skills, you will need to change your way of thinking as they often run contrary to convention.
This book can be of great help in improving the way you think and act. Removing the need to control things beyond your control will immediately reduce the stress in your life - and stress is directly responsible for well over 80% of all health issues.
I highly recommend this book. Read it and use these 10 Truth Skills to change the way you live. You will live a better life by adopting them.
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