Chang-Seong Hong 사라 보살 Bodhisattva Sarah

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Chang-Seong Hong
3icet1 SSapAonstugusistsort roesSat 13dSa:r0ogh3 ·
사라 보살 Bodhisattva Sarah

5년 전에 반쯤 쓰다 만 에세이인데, 그냥 버릴까 하다가 날짜만 바꾸어서 페북에 공개하기로 했다. 우리와의 인연으로 내가 'Sarah 보살'이라고 부르게 된 한 젊은 미국여성과 우리 가족 이야기다. 밑의 사진들은 11년 전 사라의 결혼식에서 찍은 것들이다. 써 놓고 다듬지 않아 글이 거칠다.
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20세 사라(Sarah)보살로부터 배운 부지런함의 의미

나는 1970년대에 초등학교와 중학교를 그리고 80년대에 고등학교, 대학교, 대학원을 다녔다. 거의 20년 동안 매일같이 신문과 방송에서 한국인들은 세계에서 가장 부지런한 사람들이라는 소리를 읽고 들었다. 실제로 대부분의 사람들이 자의건 타의건 일요일도 없이 휴가도 반납하고 일 년 내내 일하고 또 일했다. 소위 말하는 고도 성장기였다. 나도 한국인들이 정말 세계에서 가장 부지런한 민족일 것이라고 믿었다. 

유학길에 올라 피상적으로 가끔 접촉한 대학 밖의 보통 영국인들과 또 미국 동부지역 사람들과의 경험은 이 믿음을 흔들지 못했다. 내가 그들과 일상을 함께 겪으면서 생활할 기회 없이 교수와 대학원생들과만 접촉하고 살았던 이유도 있겠다. 그러나 미네소타에 교직을 얻어 이사 온 다음 당시 대학원생이었던 아내가 쌍둥이를 출산하면서 보통 미국인들과 본격적으로 접촉을 하게 되었는데, 이때의 경험들이 내가 가졌던 믿음을 완전히 버리게 된 계기가 되었다. 결론부터 짧게 말하자면, 우리 한국인들은 생각만큼 부지런하지 않았다. 

당시 나는 테뉴어(종신교수) 심사를 앞둔 조교수여서 바빴고, 30대 후반에 쌍둥이를 출산한 엄마는 휴학상태인 대학원생이었다. 수입이 빠듯했다. 또 일가친척 한 명도 없이 인구의 97%가 백인인 도시에 살다보니 ‘의지할 곳’ 하나도 없었다. 그래서 아이들이 7개월이 되었을 때 내가 재직한 대학 여러 곳에 베이비시터 광고를 냈다. 며칠 후 푸른 눈의 날씬한 만 20세 사라(Sarah)라는 금발 여학생이 찾아와 자신도 쌍둥이 남동생들이 있다며 쌍둥이를 돌보는 일을 맡고 싶다고 했다. 얼마를 지불하면 좋을지 몰라 현재 직장에서 받는 돈보다 조금 더 주겠다고 했다. 최저 임금보다 조금 많은 액수였지만, 이 여대생은 기꺼이 받아들였다. 그리고는 첫 날부터 상상을 초월하게 아이들을 지극 정성으로 돌보았다. 

일단 아이들을 첫 눈에 정신이 아찔할 정도로 좋아했고, 곧 자기는 아이들을 최소한 넷은 낳을 것이라고 떠들기 시작했다. (지금까지 셋을 낳았다.^^) 사라는 합쳐서 3년 가까이 우리 아이들을 돌보았는데, 언제나 일할 시간보다 15분 먼저 도착했고, 단 한 번도 온다는 날 안 온 적이 없으며, 한 번도 1분이라도 시간을 채우지 않고 간 적이 없다. 단 한 번도 어떤 일을 두 번 지시할 필요가 없었고, 단 한 번도 우리의 부탁을 거절한 적이 없다. 일하는 시간 동안은 단 한 번도 전화를 받거나 걸지 않았고, 우리가 건네지 않는 한 아무 것도 먹지 않았다. 언제나 밝게 웃었고, 단 한 번도 피로한 기색을 보인 적이 없었다. 어떤 날에는 8시간이나 아이들을 돌보았는데, 8시간 내내 아이들과 신나게 시끄럽게 노느라고 나와 아내가 공부를 못할 지경이었다. 

독감에 걸리면 아이들에게 옮길까봐 맞지 않던 독감예방주사도 맞기 시작했고, 아이들 건강하라고 침이 묻었을지 모른다고 매일같이 모든 장난감을 광이 날 정도로 닦았다. 아이들 낮잠 잘 시간에는 우리가 지쳐서 못한 방 청소와 빨래도 해 주었다. 베이비시터의 일은 아니었지만 힘들어하는 우리를 보고는 추가보수 없이도 기꺼이 여러 일을 도와주었다.

 나중에 알게 된 것이지만, 우리 일 이전에는 어느 큰 호텔 프론트 리셉션에서 일했는데, 일주일에 이틀씩 하루 8시간 동안 앉지도 먹지도 마시지도 않고 18개월을 일했다고 했다, 최저 임금부터 시작하면서. 그러면 그렇다고 이 학생이 일에 지쳐 공부는 대충 했을까? 그렇지 않다. 최우등으로 졸업했다. 그러나 실제로 상상하기 어려웠던 일은 그 이후에 생겼다. 

우리를 위해 1년 일했을 때 나는 테뉴어 심사를 통과했고 아이들 엄마는 대학원에 복학하게 되었다. 나는 2년간 휴직을 하고 아이들을 키우고 엄마를 지원하기 위해 미네소타에서 1,500마일 떨어진 노스캐롤라이나로 함께 내려갔다. 풍토가 많이 다른 곳에서 대학원생 아내를 지원하며 18개월짜리 쌍둥이를 키웠던 첫 1년은 무척 힘들었다. 그래서 당시 대학 졸업 예정이던 사라에게 우리와 함께 노스캐롤라이나로 내려와 1년 동안 아이들을 돌봐 주겠냐고 제의했다. 그러고는 가족들과 상의하며 결정하라고 두 달 동안 생각할 시간을 주었다. 대학을 최우등으로 졸업한 사람에게 아이들 보모(nanny)일로 타향으로 가자고 제의하기가 참으로 미안하고 양심에 걸렸지만, 우리는 너무 힘들어서 어쩔 수 없었다. 

두 달이 지난 후 사라는 졸업하자마자 우리를 따라 내려오겠다고 약속했다. 그리고는 그 약속을 지켰다. 그뿐만이 아니라 지금의 남편이고 당시에는 남자친구였던 데이브까지 함께 데리고 갔다. 둘이 일가친척 모두를 떠나 사라가 한국에서 온 교수의 쌍둥이 아이들을 돌보아 주겠다며 둘이 각자의 차에 이삿짐을 가득 실고 1,500마일을 운전해 우리를 도우려 내려왔다. 최소한의 보수밖에 못 주었는데도 그리했다. 

우리 가족은 이렇게 복이 많았다. 사라가 우리 아이들을 일 주일에 40시간씩 돌보아 주는 동안 아이들 엄마는 대학원 모든 수업을 이수하고 시험들을 성공적으로 통과했으며 나는 처음으로 불교철학을 공부하게 되었다. 아직 한 번도 직접 말해 준 적은 없지만, 이런 이유들로 내가 사라를 우리들의 보살이라고 부른다. 이 모든 고마운 일들을 사라가 만 20세에서 22세 사이에 우리에게 해 주었다. 세상에는 이렇게 어린, 푸른 눈의 금발 백인 보살도 있는가 보다. 

우리는 2005년 5월 말에 노스캐롤라이나를 떠나 미네소타로 돌아왔지만, 사라와 데이브는 그곳에 남아 곧 좋은 직장에 다니게 되었고 데이브는 직장에서 보내주어 경영학 석사까지 받았다. 그러고는 2010년에 다시 미네소타와 접경한 그들의 고향으로 멋진 직장들을 잡아 금의환향했다. 지금은 둘 다 30대 중반인데, 벌써 집을 몇 채 가지고 있고 아들 하나 딸 둘을 낳아 잘 살고 있다. 그리고 만날 때마다 자기들의 모든 성공이 우리가 노스캐롤라이나로 데려가 주어 더 넓은 세상에서 좋은 직장부터 시작할 기회를 주어서였다면서 우리에게 감사한다. 그러나 실은 우리는 대학을 갓 졸업한 아주 유능하고 건실한 청춘남녀를 보잘 것 없는 보수를 약속하며 이역만리 노스캐롤라이나로 데려가 혹시 이들의 미래를 망치게 하는 것이 아닐까 오랫동안 걱정했었다. 

그러나 미국인들은 빈말을 하지 않는다. 사라와 데이브의 결혼식에서 양가의 모든 친척이 우리를 무슨 유명 인사 대하듯 반겨주고 환대해 준 것으로부터 이 두 사람이 실제로 우리와의 인연을 감사해하고 있음을 알게 되었다. 실은 그래서 더 미안했다. 우리가 우리의 목적을 위해 사라에게 부탁한 것이었고, 자신들의 성공은 스스로 건실하고 유능해서 가능했던 것인데, 오히려 우리에게 감사하다니. 우리 부부는 그 이후로 그들이 이사를 하거나 아이를 출산할 때마다 축하한다며 오래 전에 주고 싶어도 형편이 안 되어서 못 주었던 ‘밀린’ 보수를 보너스까지 더해서 주었다. 물론 사라와 데이브는 좀 이해를 못했을 것이다. 서로 동의한 내용으로 계약을 했고 우리가 그 계약을 모두 이행했는데, 거의 10년 가까이 되어서 예상치 못한 돈을 더 받는다는 것은 전혀 미국식이 아니니까. 그러나 우리는 한국에서 나고 자란 불자니까 우리의 도리를 다해야 했다. 

독일계 미국인 어머니의 정직함과 성실함 그리고 노르웨이계 미국인 아버지의 순수하고 깊은 정을 모두 가진 사라보살과의 인연 이후 나는 부지런함과 성실함에 대해 처음부터 다시 새로 생각하게 되었다. 막스 베버가 말했던 서구 자본주의의 근원이라는 프로테스탄트의 직업윤리라는 것이 어떤 것임을 철저히 경험했기 때문이다. 교회에 나가는 것을 한 번도 본 적이 없지만 사라는 루터교 계통의 개신교도였는데, 20대 초반의 사라가 보여 준 직업윤리는 나의 상상을 초월했다. 자신의 직업을 신이 준 소명이라고 생각하는 사람들이 독일지역과 스칸디나비아의 개신교도들이었는데, 이들이 이주해서 사는 미국 중서부 북부에는 지금까지도 그 문화가 생생히 살아있다. 흉볼 것 많은 미국이지만, 배울 것 많은 사람들이 어디에나 있기 때문에 아직도 미국이 그럭저럭 굴러간다. 

(부지런함의 의미에 대해 글을 더해서 에세이를 완성했어야 했는데, 다른 바쁜 일에 치여 그러지 못하고 말았다.)




137정승국, Chung Hyun Kyung and 135 others
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How to Practice: The Way to a Meaningful Life by Dalai Lama XIV | Goodreads

How to Practice: The Way to a Meaningful Life by Dalai Lama XIV | Goodreads






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How to Practice: The Way to a Meaningful Life

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Dalai Lama XIV
4.09 · Rating details · 8,332 ratings · 330 reviews
As human beings, we all share the desire for happiness and meaning in our lives. According to His Holiness the Dalai Lama, the ability to find true fulfillment lies within each of us. In this very special book, the spiritual and temporal leader of Tibet, Nobel Prize winner, and bestselling author helps readers embark upon the path to enlightenment with a stunning illuminat ...more
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· 8,332 ratings · 330 reviews



Oct 05, 2017Sean Barrs rated it really liked it · review of another edition
Shelves: buddhism, 4-star-reads
“I accept everyone as a friend. In truth, we already know one another, profoundly, as human beings who share the same basic goals: We all seek happiness and do not want suffering.”

The Dalai Lama is incredibly quotable and there are so many fantastic examples of his simple wisdom in here. Well, I say simple but it can’t be that simple if people still fail to follow it after all these years. Despite living in an age of globalisation, we are still tragically divided. Senseless wars plague our h ...more
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Oct 27, 2018Calista rated it really liked it
Shelves: bage-mature, genre-nonfiction, genre-spiritual, want-to-own, famous, wordsmith, 2002, classic, diversity, genre-how-to-self-help
I really needed this read right now. School has been very stressful this trimester and I feel constantly behind. Still, I did pass my comprehensive exam to graduate from the program once Clinic and classes are done. I still have the herbal program and doctoral work left to do. Then, all the hate pouring out of DC right now and just how ugly politics has become has taken a spiritual toll on me. It has really worn me down and I have had to disengage from news and stop watching and reading.

This bo ...more
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Jan 01, 2011Froztwolf rated it liked it
This is an odd book that seems to span the entirety of Buddhist practice from beginning to end.

The first third of the book was easy to connect with. It talks about things in our daily lives, what the tenets or Buddhist practice are, how these two relate, and basically what Buddhism encourages people to do and why. Having studied Buddhism a little before, there were few surprises there for me but it was yet a welcome reminder and well structured.

The middle part of the book tackles subjects that ...more
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Mar 19, 2008Rustam rated it it was ok · review of another edition
I find this man really fascinating, but this book didn't quite get there for me. I wonder if what he preaches is too simple to be interesting in a literary format. I would be interested in reading his auto-biography. His English isn't all that hot, but his occasional anecdotal digressions are very interesting.

I can't believe I'm giving the Dalai Lama TWO stars!? The good news is, I'm not going to Hell, but rather, I may be reborn as a desert rodent.
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Dec 19, 2008Tess rated it it was amazing
I still read this book. Recently, I needed something to bring me peace during a small conflict. I opened the book arbitrarily and found just what I needed. I love this little book. It can be a wonderful guide to living peacefully and spreading peace among others.
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Jun 03, 2012Z rated it it was ok
Shelves: 2012
Although I have immense respect for the Dalai Lama's teachings and for traditional Buddhist doctrine, I would not recommend this book as a primer for someone who wants to learn more about Buddhism and/or meditation. The first half of the book is very general, very lightly describing basic Buddhist tenets and advising on concentrated meditation. The second half focuses on the concepts of 'emptiness,' 'inherent existence' and 'dependent-arisings' - and I came away feeling like none of these were really adequately explained. I would imagine that they do not lend themselves to easy explanation. The fallout is that the reader could lose his/her way through this maze of abstractions and wind up at the end of the book blinking in confusion.

What this book did bring home to me was how little time we have in our lives to improve ourselves and be more compassionate, intelligent beings, and what a long, long road lies ahead of us. Perhaps the latter half of this book could make sense to someone who has achieved enough success with concentrated meditation to have somewhat more of a grip on the notion of emptiness. For a more detailed, less abstruse exposition of Buddhist doctrine, I would recommend Sogyal Rinpoche's The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying. (less)
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May 05, 2010Callie rated it liked it
A bunch of quotes from this book I need to get down, because they are valuable.

"By greeting trouble with optimism and hope , you are undermining worse troubles down the line."

CONTENTMENT REGARDING FOOD< CLOTHES< SHELTER:

SHELTER "Lay people can reduce the neverending quest for a better home and for the funiture and decorations in it." Imagine! This is an outright unequivocal, unapologetic suggestion that we just stop acquiring things and be happy with what we have.

"Examine your attitudes toward ...more
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Oct 24, 2019Breinholt Dorrough rated it really liked it
A book replete with wisdom. Finding contentment in material things is undoubtedly the practice that has brought me the most happiness in this life.

I must agree with a lot of reviewers here: the last third of the book is far more advanced than the first two thirds. He provides no definitions, he just jumps right in, so if the reader isn't aware of topics such as dependency, emptiness, etc., it would prove to be a difficult read.
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Dec 01, 2009Angie rated it it was amazing
Shelves: spiritual-self
I Love this book from H.H. The Dalai Lama and use it as a reference guide. If you're ever feeling "out of sorts," then this is a great book to help you find your center/balance. :-)
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Aug 20, 2011Alissa rated it liked it
This book is a good introduction to Tibetan Buddhism. It is generally set up to provide specific daily practices (visualizations, thoughts and meditations). I enjoyed the chapters on the basics and practicing morality, but after that, I found that the descriptions became less coherent. That could either be a translation issue or perhaps I'm not at the understanding level yet. Either way, the most meaningful parts of the book were nearer the beginning. Portions of the book are redundant in that a ...more
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Apr 25, 2020Odgerel Boldbaatar rated it really liked it
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
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Mar 13, 2009Jackie rated it liked it
Shelves: religion, buddhism, self-improvement, happy
This was my first real introduction to Buddhism.

Since the purpose of this book is teaching how to achieve enlightenment, it doesn't cover things like Buddhist history or explanations of the basic concepts and so I realize I have a lot to learn to understand this religion.

There are essentially 3 steps to enlightenment: Practicing Morality, Concentrated Meditation and Practicing Wisdom. These are the steps to totally enlightenment and becoming a Buddha, as such they go beyond the layperson. My goal is not to become a Buddha (I'm not even a Buddhist!) but to find peace of mind and be a more compassionate person. So, I found much of this to be beyond my willingness to practice.

The Practicing Morality section interested me the most and there are things here that I really took away. While I can respect and strive for nearly every aspect of the Dalai Lama's teaching here, some parts have me thinking more than others. The meditation section of the book was a bit over my head. I'm going to go back to it, or find another resource. The wisdom chapters were where things got totally out of my grasp. He says that it takes lifetimes to fully master morality and meditation enough to fully start to understand wisdom, so I don't feel too bad about not getting it.
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Oct 15, 2014Clark Hallman rated it liked it
How To Practice: The Way to a Meaningful Life by His Holiness the Dalai Lama - His Holiness gives advice and explanations about how to develop a more meaningful life and move toward enlightenment in this informative but complex book. Of course he covers compassion and holding the happiness and welfare others before oneself. He also presents some meditation advice and complicated explanations of emptiness. It’s a worthwhile read that provides some useful information about Buddhism to any interested reader. However, it may be frustrating for readers without at least a baseline knowledge of Buddhism. (less)
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Oct 14, 2016Vishwanath rated it liked it
This book emphasizes the value of meditation and also addresses techniques to help the beginner progress in the art of meditation. The fundamental tenet
is the need to constantly practice and lower expectations of immediate rewards.

"To develop the practice of compassion to its fullest extent, one must practice patience."

The book is an interesting read to reemphasize simple and common aspects of life we seek to inculcate yet are so hard to practice everyday.

Towards the end, the book does have some complex sections that address tibetan practice of tantra which would probably interest only well experienced practitioners. (less)
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May 26, 2014Dan Bartholomew rated it liked it
The first half of the book was illuminating and offered some practical application that Is valuable regardless of religious background. The second half was a tougher read, and honestly lost me at certain points. Some of the deeper theory of the practice uses language in ways that is not always consistent with definitions I am used to (such as "emptiness"), and also digs into deeper Buddhist theory about the nature of existence...ideas that aren't consistent with my beliefs. All in all, a helpful read with a meaningful and compelling focus on peace and compassion. (less)
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Aug 31, 2018John Stepper rated it really liked it
Less of a handbook than I imagined from the title, and yet I was inspired by the breadth and depth of his own practice. The commentary on wisdom and reality are the clearest I’ve ever come across, making impenetrable paradoxes - “form is emptiness; emptiness is form” - understandable to me for the first time in any meaningful way.
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Feb 26, 2010Lisa LaMendola rated it it was amazing
For anyone looking to find a simple book on the "how to's" of every day life as a Buddhist this is the book! I wish I had found this long before I read all the other books I've been through in my search for enlightenment....
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Sep 02, 2007Pete rated it really liked it
It expanded my view of nothingness; I can now understand emptiness as inherent without indulging in nihilism. I've also come to believe that the Dalai Lama has infinitely pinchable cheeks.
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Jul 01, 2008Monjamckay rated it really liked it
This book is only for people who are interested in learning actual practices for meditation
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Sep 28, 2010Alicia rated it it was amazing · review of another edition
Shelves: inspirational
One of my favorite books, very inspiring and makes me strive to live a more compassionate life. I have read many books by His Holiness The Dalai Lama and I love them all.
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Beyond Religion: Ethics for a Whole World by Dalai Lama

Beyond Religion: Ethics for a Whole World

by Dalai Lama XIV, Alexander Norman (Contributor)

 4.04  ·   Rating details ·  4,473 ratings  ·  412 reviews

An unprecedented event: a beloved world religious leader proposes a way to lead an ethical, happy, and spiritual life beyond religion and offers a program of mental training for cultivating key human values

Ten years ago, in his best-selling Ethics for a New Millennium, His Holiness the Dalai Lama first proposed an approach to ethics based on universal rather than religious principles. Now, in Beyond Religion, the Dalai Lama, at his most compassionate and outspoken, elaborates and deepens his vision for the nonreligious way. 

Transcending the mere “religion wars,” he outlines a system of ethics for our shared world, one that gives full respect to religion. With the highest level of spiritual and intellectual authority, the Dalai Lama makes a stirring appeal for what he calls a “third way,” a path to an ethical and happy life and to a global human community based on understanding and mutual respect. 

Beyond Religion is an essential statement from the Dalai Lama, a blueprint for all those who may choose not to identify with a religious tradition, yet still yearn for a life of spiritual fulfillment as they work for a better world. (less)

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Top reviews from other countries

Amazon Customer

5.0 out of 5 stars Olive branch to Atheists

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 12 November 2013

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As a proud "militant" Atheistic I realise my views often cause offence to others. As an attempt to find some middle ground with religious believers I decided to read this book. The Dalai Lama is clearly approaching this subject from his strong religious beliefs but successfully finds much we can all agree on.

Whilst I will continue to preach evangelically about atheism I shall hopefully be able to do so with a clearer understanding that, for the most part, we all seek the same things from life.

14 people found this helpful

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Muriel Hudson

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent and interesting read for anyone interested in religions

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 20 October 2014

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Excellent and interesting read for anyone interested in religions, spirituality and ethics in 21st Century. It cuts right through hypocrisy and misunderstandings and gives you a non-judgemental way to approach personal development................or simply to try and understand meaningful ways to relate to yourself, others and the world.

2 people found this helpful

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pistonstone

5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely brilliant!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 27 August 2012

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Another great book by the great man. he has such grace and character its like meditating just reading his words! I am not religious but it is great to know that there are (few) important religious people with such open minds, fearless of science and the times, making faith straight forward - this is a great read for anyone regardless of religion or belief, an open mind is essential.

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Rev. T. J. Carter

5.0 out of 5 stars A world wide secuklar ethic is now needed

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 28 January 2013

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It may seem surprising that the Dalai Lama advocates a world wide secular ethic based on the human need of compassion rather than the ethic of any one major religion, important though these religions are in the development of mankind. The Dalai Lama presents cogent arguments for his beliefs, which I found convincing

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C. Wright

5.0 out of 5 stars Great book.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 16 June 2016

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Great book.

Well written and offers some real insight into the humanity of man beyond and separate to religion. The Dalai Lama has a really considered and compassionate way of thinking. It would do us all good if we were to take on even a few of his thoughts and suggestions to implement into my our daily life's.

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Stephanie *Extremely Stable Genius*

Feb 01, 2013 rated it liked it

Shelves: spirituality, 2013, buddhism

I love the Dalai Lama. Every time I hear him in an interview I smile from ear to ear, I can't help myself.

But I have read several of his books and each and every one was difficult to get through. I listened to this audio, which helps me actually finish books like these, but I had a hard time focusing on what was being said. My mind kept wandering every which way. Funny thing since a lot of this was, of course, about meditation practice, which is all about focusing the mind!

I had to laugh at myself many times through this because invariably he would be talking about focusing the mind while mine was happily off somewhere else.......I would think "Crap! Stephanie he said FOCUS!"

Oh, I give up. (less)

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Sara Easton

Nov 23, 2011Sara Easton rated it it was amazing

I am a Goodreads First Reads winner of this book.

This is a great book for anyone interested in philosophy who wants a book as entertaining as it is intellectually challenging. Each new concept is backed up with anecdotes from the Dalai Lama's life, told "half-jokingly" in a way that doesn't fly over your head. I finished the book several hours ago, and I'm still thinking about everything His Holiness said about our common humanity and the place ethics has in society. Thank you for the great read! (less)

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Dan

Feb 29, 2012Dan rated it liked it

Shelves: library

This book on a secular approach to ethics by the Dalai Lama caught my eye when I was browsing the new books section of my library. Acknowledging the shortcomings of religious approaches and the problems caused by the inherent conflicts of religion, the Dalai Lama turns to humanist principles and calls for a secular approach to ethics. In the later chapters, he addresses the overlap between secular humanism and Buddhist principles - a topic that has long been of interest to me.



This is a very good book, and I completely endorse the subject manner and approach. So, why only 3 stars? The topics were only superficially addressed. Only passing reference was made to recent developments in fields such as neuroscience and evolutionary biology that support the positions staked out. I would highly recommend this to someone who has not had much exposure to these topics, but for those who are familiar with it, this presents nothing more than a pleasant, and generally well written, walk through familiar grounds. (less)

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robin friedman

May 10, 2018robin friedman rated it it was amazing

The Dalai Lama And Secular Ethics

The many books written by the Dalai Lama can be divided into two groups. In the first, the Dalai Lama writes specifically about the teachings and practices of Buddhism, particularly his own Tibetan Buddhism. 

In the second group, the Dalai Lama takes a broader approach and writes on a range of subjects such as ethics, happiness, and the scientific worldview that are not specifically tied to Buddhism or to any particular faith religion. 

Both groups of books are marked by accessibility and openness. The Dalai Lama in fact discourages Westerners from conversion to Buddhism and advises them instead to practice within their own traditions to the extent that is an option for them. Still, his teachings about Buddhist and about broader subjects is enlightening and humbling.

The Dalai Lama's "Beyond Religion: Ethics for a Whole World (2011) lies within the second group of his books. Without giving up in any way his own religious convictions, the Dalai Lama writes to show the nature and possibility of ethics without a commitment to any specific religion or to a religious worldview. In other words, the book separates ethics and religion. Many books have been written taking various perspectives on the difficult question of the relationship between religion and ethics. The issue is also addressed in two of the Dalai Lama's earlier books to which he refers in this one: "Ethics for the New Millennium" (2001) and "Towards a True Kinship of Faiths" (2011). With its provocative title, "Beyond Religion" offers the Dalai Lama's fullest treatment of secular ethics.

The most challenging and important part of this book is the Dalai Lama's discussion of the need for ethics and for an ethics not tied to religious belief. He finds that increasingly in the modern world, scientific and technological ability has outpaced human, interior growth with the result that individuals and groups are increasingly discontented, unhappy, and belligerent in spite of the vast increase in human ability to control and understand the external environment. With a focus on materialism and knowledge of things, individuals lose sight of meaning.     Religion has traditionally been a way of attempting to meet these issues. But religion has become difficult or impossible for many people due to the commitment to a scientific outlook and due as well to the sheer variety of religions with their competing and apparently inconsistent claims. The Dalai Lama's book is not written to dissuade any person from their faith. Rather the book is addressed to those without religious faith and, without judging them, to show the possibility of a universal, secular based ethics.

The Dalai Lama has undertaken a challenging task and he performs it well in this book. The chief insight in the Dalai Lama's approach is that beneath all the differences among people and the differences in identity, we are all human beings with the same wants and fundamental needs as human beings. We share a "common humanity". A secular ethics identifies and builds on the factors in our common humanity assisted to a degree by the sciences. Thus the Dalai Lama finds that all human beings want to by happy and need on another. He builds an ethics on the need for a compassion for all persons and develops how, in his view, compassion leads to qualities including justice, forgiveness, and understanding. He finds a secular ethics has much to teach both to individual human relationships and to political and international questions.

The Dalai Lama's vision of secular ethics is developed in the first part of the book, "A New Vision of Secular Ethics" while the second part "Educating the Heart Through Training the Mind" offers guides for increasing one's ability for ethical behavior. These guides focus on understanding one's emotions, on controlling emotions such as anger and envy deemed destructive and on developing positive emotions such as contentment, self-discipline and generosity. The Dalai Lama introduces meditation techniques derived from the Buddhist tradition. Still the practice of these techniques, to the extent presented in this book, do not presuppose a commitment to Buddhism or any other religion. Some forms of meditation are widely-practiced, and their introduction does not change this book's secular character.



This is a thoughtful, moving book. Some readers may question whether the Dalai Lama's ethics follows fully from the secular commitments from which he starts or, alternatively, whether there somehow is an unstated religious or metaphysical position lurking in the presentation. In addition, those holding to a secular worldview may disagree on proper behavior and fight, just as adherents of competing religions sometimes do. These questions are important but secondary. The teachings of this book are demanding and difficult. The Dalai Lama talks persuasively about the importance of ethics and of self-reflection and compassion. Most importantly, he reminds the reader of our shared "common humanity". Much is to be learned from the goals of the Dalai Lama's book and from the simplicity of its presentation.



Robin Friedman (less)

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Jud Barry

Jun 08, 2012Jud Barry rated it really liked it

All my life I have been told by "religious" people that religion is necessary for morality. I have never believed this, mostly because my own parents were every bit as moral as they were secular.



Also, growing up I absorbed the "enlightened," civic faith of the Founding Fathers of the U.S.A. in the ability of a body of citizens to govern itself without being ruled by a set of religious doctrines. All that was needed was the right framework (laws) and a willingness to work for the common good of all.



But this seems to me to be less and less understood, in the U.S. anyway. Maybe it just seems that way because I live in the hyper-religious South. It has recently seemed less and less likely that anyone be very effective in advancing the cause of the same kind of common-sense approach to religion and morals that our Founding Fathers took.



Enter The Dalai Lama. In simple and engaging language, he goes beyond my fondest hopes by articulating a case for, if not the superiority of secular ethics, then at least its existence as a phenomenon that pre-exists religion. He bases his notion of secular ethics on a "spirituality" that "comes from our innate human nature as beings with a natural disposition toward compassion, kindness, and caring for others." Secular ethics are the water into which are intermixed the tea leaves of religion.

In its first section, the book elaborates on this "quite simple" notion. The second section is a beginner's guide to the strengthening of one's sense of secular ethics through self-awareness exercises that draw heavily on the Buddhist meditative tradition.

Maybe it's easier for a Buddhist--as a non-theist--to think in secular terms. Perhaps, but the Dalai Lama emphasizes the distinction between religious (metaphysical) beliefs and secular ones. Buddhism's metaphysical notions are very important to the nature of that religion, yet they do not prevent the Dalai Lama from recognizing secular values as values that everyone shares, regardless of the nature of our religious beliefs. (less)

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Jennifer

Jul 02, 2012Jennifer rated it liked it

Shelves: finished

This book is part of a larger movement by progressive religious leaders - one that makes the argument for ethics outside of the constructs of religious teachings. I really appreciated the time the Dalai Lama spent defining "secular", a term which, all too often, has a negative connotation. His reasoning and practical approach to implementation was intriguing. While Humanist principles assert ethics (and morality) without religion, I'm left to wonder how accepting the larger religious community w ...more

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Kate Lawrence

Dec 20, 2011Kate Lawrence rated it really liked it

Shelves: spirituality-religion

I agree with the Dalai Lama that only if the world's people succeed in finding common ground Beyond Religion is there a chance of working together for any kind of a sane future. I wondered what he was going to suggest, and found myself reading with interest. He describes compassion--the foundation of secular ethics--in detail, what it is and isn't (e.g. it isn't meekness). He shows why the practice of compassion and restraint is necessary for a sustainable environment, stable governments, as well as personal well-being, and why such efforts must be undertaken outside of religion to succeed globally. Training our minds not to wallow in destructive emotions like anger and greed is not that mysterious; it can be done by anyone willing to persevere. He gives convincing motivations and detailed practices to use in taking up this work. He comments on research showing that accumulating wealth beyond basic comfort does not bring happiness, and points out that war is now "outdated and illogical." Schools must be urged to give students training in how to develop patience and compassion; this is not being provided to most children by religion as it was in the past. Compassion training, in fact, is far more important than many of the subjects currently taught.

Without explicitly saying so, he conveys a view I've long held: peace and environmental responsibility will have to come from the people, because our leaders will not lead. I especially appreciated his upbeat attitude: humans have practiced cooperation for centuries, we know how to do this, we CAN do this. "Let us all, old and young," he writes in closing,"strive together with vision, with courage, and with optimism." The Dalai Lama conveys a strong sense of possibility to turn things around; I hope this latest book of his will attract a wide readership. (less)

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Natassia

Apr 09, 2015Natassia rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition

A breath of fresh air.

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Jenny Choi

Jul 27, 2015Jenny Choi rated it really liked it

This book is worth reading for me. The author explains quite difficult concepts by using simple and easy expressions in order to help normal people understand better. Come to think of this book, It seems that wise men put their values into entire humanity beyond narrow perspectives, which is pretty challenging to me.

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Jason Smith

Mar 03, 2018Jason Smith rated it it was amazing

I should not have raced through this at double time on Audible. I should have absorbed more and will need to revisit the book. His emphasis on compassion as a fundamental attribute of a good, global society was particularly powerful. Also his emphasis on personal responsibility and control over one's self.

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Ben

Dec 19, 2011Ben rated it liked it

To some, this may be a surprising book and proposition coming from the modern 'father' of an ancient faith.* Not that Buddhism (in my experience and practice) must be faith-driven. Still, many may be surprised to hear a religious leader advocate and articulate universal morality and ethics free from faith-based or doctrinal foundations.



The book is short, practical, well-reasoned, easy to follow, and includes positive prescriptions that can be carried out in the everyday lives of even busy secularists. (I was deeply affected by Hitchens' 'God is Not Great', which did not dislodge philosophical Buddhism's appeal to me, and this book reaffirms my comfort with that affection.)



More than a few readers may be surprised by just how well-read the Dalai Lama is in contemporary neurology and recent science about the brain. Indeed, I look forward to contrasting his opinions here with those of a moral atheist like Sam Harris or a behaviorist like Steven Pinker. If you read more by His Holiness, I think you will be struck by how vigorous and stimulating his intellectual life is.



And since he has such a distinct voice in writing and in speech, it must be hard for a narrator to find the 'voice' of the Dalai Lama in a short treatise like this. While Mr Sheen does a fine job, I found it a distracting listen at times perhaps because he is so well-known. A less high-profile reader may have been called for here.



*NOTE - This review refers to the audio version of this book from Audible. (less)

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Doug

Jan 13, 2012Doug rated it liked it

Ethics-based approach to the idea of improving the condition of humanity by improving yourself first. Wrapped in pretty much a Buddhist philosophy without the religious aspects. Promotes moral/ethical principles that are mostly common to the teachings of the major religions, even if not their practice. Full of very sensible ideas, though nothing revolutionary.



The writing style was simplistic, as if aimed at 12-year-olds, I thought. Whereas the content is more adult focused. So I'm not sure who i ...more

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Diane

May 18, 2013Diane rated it it was amazing

Despite his deep faith, the Dalai Lama is convinced that the striving toward moral ethics and inner values cannot be met solely through religion in the secular world of today. With so many belief systems, a religion-based approach to ethics will never be universal, thus the need for a secular ethics. Secularism - respect for all faiths and no faith - and religion are not mutually exclusive. A good example of this would be Gandhi. deeply religious and all-embracing.

I picked up this book primaril ...more

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Sunny

Feb 26, 2012Sunny rated it liked it

I always enjoy listening to the Dalai Lama and his calming words. After the disappointment of realizing Martin Sheen was narrating the book I decided to read instead. He talks about the need for a system of ethics that doesn't depend on religion but instead depends on people's shared humanity and compassion, where people of many religions and none all live together and increasingly must work together to solve global problems. I appreciated how he spoke his own Buddhist religion and says even though it is his religion, it is not for everyone. The understanding that some religions work well for some and not others but can still be well respected by each other can bring us together instead of the opposite which happens often. The reason I gave it three stars is only because soon I found myself skimming the text because it became repetitive and a message he has talked about many times before. (less)

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David Gross

Dec 07, 2011David Gross rated it liked it

Shelves: philosophy, ethics

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Omar

Sep 03, 2020Omar rated it really liked it

Shelves: philosophy, spirituality

"In the face of all the challenges of today's interconnected world, is my optimism about the future of humanity idealistic? Perhaps it is. Is it unrealistic? Certainly not."



Well at least he's self-aware. One problem, or reservation, that I have with spiritual leaders is that they say all the right things, but don't have a real grasp, or the 'insider look', into bureaucratic challenges, social issues, and personal challenges we all face that gets in the way of a sense of ethics at times. They say all the right things from an eagle eye perspective, and make you feel a little better about humanity knowing that there's people like that out there, but then you go back to your life and realize that the real world doesn't actually operate that way. Real life is unfortunately not a Disney movie where if you just say and do the right things everything will work out. The world does not operate in an egalitarian manner. Society can be cruel and unforgiving. Natural selection/evolution favours the resourceful. I think to strive and be more ethical both individually and collectively is a noble pursuit, but it's important to keep a level head on human nature and the capitalist machine and how that effects people and nations. I think we should all strive to be the sort of people he prescribes here and to hold ourselves accountable to a code of of ethics, and I will take his advice to heart so i'm doing my tiny part to be on the right side of things, but the spiritual revolution that a lot of these figures hope for isn't going to happen anytime soon. To reiterate though, I am glad that people like him are out there because at least he is trying to steer the ship in the right direction. I admire and respect his efforts-- and I hope people like him never stop advocating for change.



4/5 . (less)

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Hedgehog

Aug 17, 2018Hedgehog rated it it was amazing

I read this somewhere...



Someone asked The Buddha, "What is the greatest obstacle to Enlightenment?" The Buddha answered, "Laziness!"



That sly quote came to mind several times as I read this book. It works in two ways. It conveys His Holiness' conviction that ethical behavior isn't necessarily based on faith, but is also based on several internal values (compassion being the greatest, if I read correctly). Developing those internal values, the ability to have compassion, understanding, and more, takes a lot of work. A lot of work. No laziness!



Having read several of his books, seen and heard him on TV and radio, his equanimity and good-heartedness has always amazed me. In this book, the reader gets a glimpse into how he has attained those qualities. But really, I found it a bit daunting because this man has spent most of his waking hours working towards the goals and virtues he describes. No laziness there! But for us who have many other concerns, like family, work, keeping the household running...well, we might not be lazy but how can we really move forward, make any progress in developing those virtues and abilities? His Holiness spends hours, hours mind you, every day, meditating. He describes his practices in terms I found a little opaque..they're technical, really, and I don't have the background to parse them well.



Well, at the very end are some meditation practices for the reader. So there you are...there's the starting point, the first step in what I'm sure is a long journey.



As usual, his writing is (generally) accessible, good-humored, and inspiring.

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Sebastian Gebski

Nov 03, 2018Sebastian Gebski rated it it was amazing

It's the highest time for the whole world to switch from separatistic religious dogmas to common, shared system of ethics with universal values behind it. It's not easy, no doubt about that, but the modern world demands it - or we'll all succumb to conflict and chaos (again). The fact that it's one of the religious leaders who comes up with such a book is actually a good sign.



To be perfect frank, this book is very needed, but it doesn't mean it brings any kind of breakthrough - maybe my way of thinking was already very aligned with what Dalai Lama proposes, but I haven't found anything truly revealing. Which actually may be a pro as it probably means that the content is far from controversial (for the wide spectrum of an audience) - and that increases the chances of wider adoption. If you're not sure whether you agree, just check the part on the word "secular" - how Dalai Lama steps carefully not to hand any weapon to any potential zealots.



What struck me very quickly was that the book is very approachable, but not in an American way of being approachable :) It means that it's not oversimplified, but assumes that the reader should be able to comprehend some ideas without being guided by hand like a small child. Truly appreciated :D



As a declared agnostic atheist, all I can do is show both thumbs up! (less)

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Arno Mosikyan

Oct 15, 2018Arno Mosikyan rated it it was amazing

Shelves: philosophy

Hey Goodreads where is your 10 stars, I can't just mark 5 stars, this is not enough!



What a spiritual leader, what a wisdom! His excellence Dalai Lama still remains the bastion of unchallenged wisdom compared to the leaders of other creeds. Impressive, a vivid example how to construct spirituality paradigm in the science infused 21st century.



QUOTES



“But for all its benefits in offering moral guidance and meaning in life, in today’s secular world religion alone is no longer adequate as a basis for ethics.



Ultimately, the source of our problems lies at the level of the individual. If people lack moral values and integrity, no system of laws and regulations will be adequate.”



I do not agree that ethics requires grounding in religious concepts or faith. Instead, I firmly believe that ethics can also emerge simply as a natural and rational response to our very humanity and our common human condition.



Instead of looking to blame others and the world around us, we should first look within ourselves



What we need today is an approach to ethics which makes no recourse to religion and can be equally acceptable to those with faith and those without: a secular ethics." (less)

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The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living 2020 by Dalai Lama

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The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living Paperback – July 21, 2020
by Dalai Lama (Author)
4.7 out of 5 stars 2,656 ratings

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Tenzin Gyatso, His Holiness the Fourteeth Dalai Lama, is the spiritual and temporal leader of the Tibetan people. His tireless efforts on behalf of human rights and world peace have brought him international recognition. He is a recipient of the Wallenberg Award (conferred by the U.S. Congressional Human Rights Foundation), the Albert Schweitzer Award, the U.S. Congressional Gold Medal, and the Nobel Peace Prize.

Howard C. Cutler, M.D., is a psychiatrist, bestselling author, and speaker. A leading expert on the science of human happiness, Dr. Cutler is a coauthor, with His Holiness the Dalai Lama, of the acclaimed Art of Happiness series of books, international bestsellers that have been translated into fifty languages. Dr. Cutler lives in Phoenix.

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Paperback : 336 pages

Publisher : Riverhead Books (July 21, 2020)

Product Dimensions : 5.45 x 0.89 x 8.21 inches

Customer Reviews: 4.7 out of 5 stars    2,656 ratings

Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars

5.0 out of 5 stars Most important book in my life

Reviewed in the United States on June 22, 2016

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This book changed my life when I first read it in 2009. I was depressed and negative from some difficult life events and stuck that way, losing all sense of self. Reading this was hard work. I focused on everything very hard, took notes, self-reflected, and was determined to practice compassion and understanding. I payed attention to my thought patterns and weeded out the negative thoughts and changed them to positive ones. I have always had a temper so when I feel myself giving into it, I read the chapter on anger and find my control again. It's amazing and I'd recommend it to anyone who is willing to dedicate themselves to change and read it with an open mind. Anyone from any religion can use and appreciate it, including atheists. It's a way of living every day.

218 people found this helpful

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Brad

3.0 out of 5 stars Not so great

Reviewed in the United States on February 14, 2019

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Having read other books compiled from the Dalai Lama's teachings, I was happy to finally get this book--I was sorely disappointed (I almost gave it just two stars.) There are insights and nuggets of truth in here, but most of the book is Dr. Cutler's musings about his travels, his talking with the Dalai Lama, and far less of the teaching. It felt almost like an autobiography by Dr. Cutler, who happened to meet with the Dalai Lama, rather than a book BY the Dalai Lama. I was disappointed, and felt that it was a waste of my time and money. Not recommended.

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David Wilder

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Advice to Achieve True Happiness

Reviewed in the United States on September 27, 2017

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Having been a student of Mahayana Buddhism for the past couple years, I had been meaning to read a book by the fourteenth Dalai Lama, and was overjoyed to purchase this one after being alerted that the Kindle edition had gone on sale by the excellent ebook deal-alerting service Bookbub. Since it was the first book by the current Dalai Lama that I ever read, I wasn't sure what to expect but I did expect it to be of high quality—especially since it is his most well-known book. Fortunately, it did not disappoint me in the slightest!

The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living was co-authored by psychiatrist Howard Cutler, who posed questions to the Dalai Lama over the series of many interviews. Cutler provides the setting and context for their meetings and also incorporates his own reflections on the issues raised in their discussions. In addition, transcriptions from several of the Dalai Lama's teachings are scattered throughout the book. It was first published in 1998, and I read the ten-year anniversary edition that was published in 2008 which includes a new preface and introduction.

The book delves into the concept of using various techniques to train the mind in order to achieve true happiness. In the preface, His Holiness the Dalai Lama states, "If you want others to be happy practice compassion; and if you want yourself to be happy practice compassion." This focus on developing compassion is consistent throughout the book and is a main focus in many of the answers that the Dalai Lama gives to Cutler's questions. It seems that this is a sort of prerequisite for cultivating happiness, a foundation upon which all of the other advice is based upon.

Another point that is made time and time again is that happiness comes down to one's state of mind more than by external events. There are a plethora of examples provided in the book, such as how lottery winners do not sustain their initial delight over a longterm period and instead return to the level of moment-to-moment happiness they were accustomed to prior to winning the lottery. Or how studies have shown that people who are struck by tragic events like cancer and blindness typically recover to their normal level of happiness after a reasonable adjustment period. Psychologists label this process "adaptation", which simply refers to the tendency of one's overall level of happiness to migrate back to a certain baseline.

From a Buddhist perspective, the root causes of all suffering are ignorance, craving, and hatred. The book fleshes out this idea and suggests methods for one to overcome them. For example, the Dalai Lama advises, "We cannot overcome anger and hatred simply by suppressing them. We need to actively cultivate the antidotes to hatred: patience and tolerance."

Overall, I was very impressed by this book. When I first started reading it I wished that the Dalai Lama had been the sole author, however I eventually grew to appreciate Cutler's additions. That's mainly because I did not realize that the book was co-authored until after I started reading it, so I had unknowingly and unintentionally set an improper expectation for myself. However, by the end of the book I had overlooked the co-authoring aspect entirely and focused more on the book's content, which is excellent. I would advise this book to anyone who is interested in the Dalai Lama, Buddhism, mindfulness, or becoming truly happy.

Namaste.

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58 people found this helpful

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Yanni

5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing read

Reviewed in the United States on January 30, 2018

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Whether Christian, Buddhist, Jewish, Hindu etc, this book outlines many important elements to being a good human being and how to improve your life by choosing the positive, compassion, love, tolerance, acceptance of the others. Thoroughly enjoyed it

36 people found this helpful

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Sharon F.

3.0 out of 5 stars The book is okay

Reviewed in the United States on September 4, 2019

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I was a little disappointed with the book by the Dalai Lama and Dr. Howard Cutler. If the book was just by his holiness I would have been very happy. Unfortunately, I found the book to be on the dull side. I got as far as page 89 when I gave up. I will, when I have time just skim through it for what the Dalai Lama has to say. I believe there is another book by him without the doctor. That I will get.

10 people found this helpful

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Amazon Customer

5.0 out of 5 stars This book will help you become happier!

Reviewed in the United States on July 9, 2017

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This book will forever be one of my favorites. The Dalai Lama's wisdom is clear, simple, and practical. He addresses many issues that we all face in daily life. Following his wisdom, you can eliminate any self-sabotage and self-created annoyances in life~ really! His wisdom also allows you to cope with the suffering that we all inevitably experience in life.

18 people found this helpful

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Meri

4.0 out of 5 stars Great ìnformation!

Reviewed in the United States on May 22, 2018

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Thìs book is two books in one. We read things about and said by the Dalai Lama and things from the medical professional. Some of the latter in the beginning seemed long and boring, thus minus a star. It is an interesting book. The idea of patience and tolerance as a type of anecdote for anger and hatred is very appealing. I'm glad I read this book.

9 people found this helpful

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Jeffrey

5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing

Reviewed in the United States on July 9, 2016

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Absolutely beautiful, psychologically and spiritually helpful. I will be rereading this book after I read a few others just for a refresher, it brings to life things we already know but the beliefs and ideas are covered up by all the worldly baggage we learn along the way. It makes me feel like a better person putting things into practice in my daily life, addressed by this great read. I'd just like to thank the work put into this for the greater good. I just wish I could help.

18 people found this helpful

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K. Carr

5.0 out of 5 stars Hugely powerful book that really is suitable for anyone with an open mind

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 10, 2017

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This book is one that I can honestly say has had the most impact on me as a person and my life, even a long time after first reading it. It really puts things into perspective, encouraging you to take a step back and realise that life is not about wealth and material items and that the only thing we really have is the present so to embrace it every single second. This book helps you to stop holding grudges, be more empathetic and understand that we're all just humans at the end of the day. A great read and this book really is for anyone, you just need to be willing to open your mind.

105 people found this helpful

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Carl

2.0 out of 5 stars Tibetan Buddhism

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 9, 2019

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Firstly I'd like to repeat what others have said... this isn't a book by the Dalai Lama, it is a book by Howard Cutler.

My main reason for giving such a low rating is the fact that this was passed off a self help book which it isn't. It may well give you a warm fuzzy feeling after reading it but it does not provide any of the tools necessary. There are nuggets of wisdom here and there I'm not denying that.

The Dalai Lama is a celibate monk from a particular tradition and culture, his specific branch of Buddhism employs some rather fancy philosophical arguments... why for example you shouldn't be angry with, but instead happy for, someone when they do you physical harm. It's all tied in to concepts of rebirth and karma etc... if you believe you are being reborn it doesn't really matter if you are stabbed to death, most of us would be better off getting pretty damn angry with an attacker. Having read a few books by the Dalai Lama (not this one) I'm convinced that he's not the person to turn to for advice on how to actually, concretely, change our lives.

53 people found this helpful

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N. Green

5.0 out of 5 stars A must read

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 14, 2018

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For a religious leader the Dalai Lama is a very pragmatic way. It is this pragmatism along with the lead author's psychiatric training that makes this book more than a self help book, it is a guide that honestly reminds you that no change comes fast, it comes from training and perseverance but more importantly it comes through compassion, empathy, honesty and love. To anyone who things that is too hippy dippy this book is for you as it will give a different perspective and open a horizon that you currently have chosen to close yourself to. after all there is nothing more enlightening that being open minded and trying something different. The Brilliance of this book is that you don't have to like it, agree with it or take its advice, just read it and see what happens.

20 people found this helpful

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Larissa Rohmig

5.0 out of 5 stars Beautiful and profound

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 21, 2017

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For anyone who is looking for more joy and happiness in their life. Spirituality is presented in a really accessible way, you don't need to be a deep thinker to understand it. You will realise that true happiness doesn't rest on wealth or how you look, how much stuff you have. True happiness is a state of peace, compassion and love.

38 people found this helpful

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L. Hunt

5.0 out of 5 stars A whole, new perspective

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 4, 2019

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Apologies for the cliche, but this is a enlightening read. For someone like me who has a restless and negative mind, this “canter” through the concepts of happiness, universal positive thinking, control and a different way of thinking about yourself has really helped me to start on a path of happiness. Peppered with lots of practical advice, guidance and techniques, it’s a well structured and written guide to different methods of finding happiness.

13 people found this helpful

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