The Pragmatist's Guide #2
The Pragmatist’s Guide to Sexuality: What Turns People On, Why, and What That Tells Us About Our Species
Malcolm Collins
,
Simone Collins
4.25
129 ratings12 reviews
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Those in the US who get turned on by watching a predator eat a person outnumber the entire population of Massachusetts, a random American is about as likely to be turned on by parent-child roleplay as they are to be Black, and more Americans are turned on by feces than have a PhD. What the heck is going on here? Why do strange, often-inconvenient things activate a system that presumably evolved to compel humans to reproduce? Why do some things arouse some while repulsing others?
Have you
• Been aroused by something . . . unexpected?
• Stumbled upon bizarre porn and wondered how it could possibly turn people on?
• Wondered why something that turns on many of your friends is super gross to you?
The Pragmatist’s Guide to Sexuality takes a deep dive into research surrounding human sexuality while also presenting one of the most comprehensive studies into what arouses people, using this data to explore everything from the social structures of early hominids to the future of dating.
As with all Pragmatist Foundation books, the proceeds generated from the sale of this work go to nonprofits.
Genres
Sexuality
Nonfiction
Psychology
Relationships
Self Help
442 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 16, 2020
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Malcolm Collins
6 books408 followers
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A. Housewife
7 books · 3 followers
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July 23, 2020
"The average person is aroused by a whopping 22 weird things."
This book does what I like best in a nonfiction book: It radically changes how I understand something, in a way that is so smooth and easy to read and so obvious that I hardly notice that I've fundamentally changed my understanding.
I don't think I can go back to the way I used to understand sexuality. I'm not even sure I can remember how I used to think about it. The concept of arousal and aversion plus volume is so clear and so after-the-fact obvious. They do a great job of explaining. The sections on aversion were fascinating. The idea that most of the population has "kinks" was surprising and discussed very pragmatically. (I would have liked to see some discussion of pedophilia, but since it is criminal I can understand the difficulties involved in researching it.)
The conversations about sexual identity are logical and persuasive, explaining how some of the current language currently lumps different arousal paths together and thus doesn't adequately account for important sexual differences . The last section was written in a very fun style and relaxed tone. Yes, some of it is wildly speculative but it's all good fun and there are so many refreshing thoughts and ideas there.
This was my first "Pragmatist's Guide To" book but now I'm going to read more. I never heard of the NeoCorp model of family and I'm looking forward to reading about that. Sounds intriguing.
4 likes
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Lewis
1 review
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July 24, 2020
I'll be completely honest: I saved this book for last when reading The Pragmatist Guide series because most of their books are on the 'challenging academic' end of the spectrum and I thought this would be a racy, scintillating read. Alas, as I started reading this book, I quickly realized that this, too, is a very rigorous and sometimes challenging read. Those looking for fluffy, scandalous pop psychology paperbacks on human sexuality might be a bit dissappointed; Simone and Malcom Collins really focus on persenting grounded, logical, ratoinal commentary on various aspects of human sexuality to a point at which it stops feeling... sexy. Don't let that turn you away, however: What you'll take away instead is a profoundly deeper understanding of what turns people on and why, plus several ideas shared in the book might even really surprise you and make you look at sex/relationships/human history/humans in general totally differently.
3 likes
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Morgan
1 review
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July 24, 2020
Somewhere near the begining of this book the authors prefecases things by saying they won't be citing studies much. Surpise suprise, they cite studies more frequently than any author I have ever read. I supose it is more a reflection of the standards they holds themselves to and really indivicative of the academic rigor behind a book that is otherwise very accesible and written in the vernacular.
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Malcolm Collins
6 books · 408 followers
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July 19, 2020
A great book that a large team put a lot of effort into create
3 likes
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Kelly
589 reviews · 3 followers
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August 19, 2020
To be fair, I know the authors, which is why I checked out this book. I really appreciated their first book The Pragmatist's Guide to Life and was eager to read their next two books, including this one. This is a very thorough, very carefully researched overview of human sexuality full of surprising statistics, interesting studies, and intriguing models (presented as an alternate to what Simone and Malcolm see as outdated frameworks, such as the Kinsey scale). If you find this subject to be interesting (and frankly, if you're interested in psychology in general), I think you'll enjoy this book.
1 like
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James Hardcourt
15 books · 45 followers
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August 5, 2020
I have not been able to put this book down.
I'd never read any of the Pragmatist Guides before, but the superb, but totally accessible presentation of genuinely ground-breaking research is beyond any expectation I held. This book is full of extraordinary insights into what, and where everyone's unique arousal pathways are. It dispels common sexual myths with rigour - the fact that the average person finds 22 unusual things sexually arousing is a wonderful starting point for the in-depth exploration of what those are.
It is the presentation of the data that lifts this book from good to great. It is absolutely for the layperson. It's thoughtful, challenging, sensitive to the difficult issues, but most of all laugh out loud funny in the way it reflects on the beautiful craziness of what arouses us.
As it acknowledges, it won't have the academic rigour that some will want, but in something so wide-ranging that would have been impossible. Instead, it makes that weakness a strength and challenges us to come up with our own answers and dig deeper into those things that aren't yet clear.
If you are curious about what turns people on, where that might come from, and how you fit into it, read this book. It's a masterpiece of research and a truly great read.
1 like
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Mahrya Q
140 reviews · 1 follower
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April 16, 2022
This isn't exactly what I was expecting, but I really should have because it's just what the title says it is. Nowhere else have I seen so much information, percentages and comparisons regarding what people like and theories as to why. For example, do you think the weird kink you have stems from something that happened to you in childhood? Nope. This book gives evidence that you were likely just born with whatever preferences you have when it comes to all kinds of sexuality. And that's only the tip of the iceberg. Fascinating.
1 like
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Cameron
149 reviews · 11 followers
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June 4, 2022
What I like about this book is that it unashamedly attempts to tell the truth without bearing offence or politics. It's probably the most evidenced backed and well-written book on sexuality out there.
There are definitely some shocking points and information within, but ultimately gives you a better understanding of human sexuality and how it developed. The dominance/submission angle is also quite interesting.
I wrote so many notes I won't include them here, feel free to message me for a copy.
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Kevin S
7 reviews
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July 1, 2023
It's... a lot. One-hundred and twenty four chapters. That's either a good thing or a bad thing depending on what you're looking for. I'm maybe 10% of the way through the book at the time of this review, but I'm here typing because I'm just too excited to say something good about the Collins's writing.
Simone and Malcolm Collins consistently provide a thorough, well-researched, hyper-intellectual teardown for all of their content, and this book is no exception. It's difficult to power through any of their books in one sitting. Any given chapter might turn my world on its head, and I need to pause the book and chew on the content for a while before returning to the work.
In their "Pragmatist's Guide" series, Simone and Malcolm provide practical advice on achieving specific goals. Here's a goal you might want, here's the current state of the world, and here's how you might go about pursuing your goal in such a world. "The Pragmatist's Guide to Sexuality" is not that. Everyone else seems to be having a good time, and Simone and Malcolm want to know /why/.
For example: Early in the book, Simone and Malcolm assert that arousal is the opposite of disgust. A kink is just a very specific exception in a person's disgust system, and those exceptions are somehow erotic. Just as disgust is involuntary, so too is arousal.
While there seems to be no clear goal of the book, the implications of their findings are still very helpful. For example, if you have a weird kink (I definitely have at least one weird kink), you can depersonalize yourself from any shame around it. Everyone has a weird kink, kinks seem to be unchangeable, and arousal is involuntary. Your personal responsibility is in how, who, and when you engage in the kink with; but because the kink is involuntary, you can release all your shame around having the kink.
Again, this is just the content from the opening of the book. There's so much more here than just this.
Knowledge is power, and this is entirely too much knowledge.
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Vivek Karunakaran
3 reviews
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April 2, 2021
I love the authors' transparency to mention the studies that don't support their notions. Some of the statistics are really surprising like "the significant percentage of men who get attracted to female form, also feel aversion to vagina" , "Significant percentage of men who don't prefer live action porn" and so on. The cognitive model of arousal/aversion to understand some of the kinks, Making sense of arousal patterns with Neuroscience and Evolutionary principles, The chapter on Evolutionary Psychology that makes clear of some misunderstandings, Mating market analysis in the concluding chapter and all the awesome data in the supplement - This book is highly recommended for anyone interested in human sexual behaviour.
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