The Pragmatist's Guide #3
The Pragmatist's Guide to Relationships: Ruthlessly Optimized Strategies for Dating, Sex, and Marriage
Malcolm Collins
,
Simone Collins
4.33
241 ratings8 reviews
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The Pragmatist’s Guide to Relationships presents a data-driven dissection of sex, dating, and marriage by taking a deep dive into academic literature and stress testing strategies advocated by “marriage gurus” and self-styled pick-up artists. Combining insights from these disparate fields, we construct novel models detailing how humans secure partners and make long-term relationships work while exploring how these systems can be exploited to one’s advantage in a world of broken dating markets and plummeting marriage rates.
This guide acts as an instruction manual for mate acquisition strategies of all stripes, providing the foundation needed to excel at any number of tricky tasks—be it getting laid, writing a marriage contract, training a spouse, determining whether a partner cheated, exploring the world of non-monogamy, or finding the perfect long-term partner.
As with all Pragmatist Foundation books, the proceeds from this book go to nonprofits. In line with the foundation's goals, the book attempts to explore the topic of human relationships without pushing the agenda of any particular ideological team.
Genres
Relationships
Self Help
Psychology
Nonfiction
661 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 16, 2020
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58 people are currently reading
410 people want to read
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Kelly
589 reviews · 3 followers
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August 17, 2020
The Pragmatist's Guide to Relationships is what I would expect from any practical field guide on a subject: A bit of history, broad overviews of important facets, warnings, tactical tips, and helpful explanations, carefully categorized in a manner that is easy to skip around and targeted (meaning chapters that really only apply to certain audiences, like younger people who are only just starting to date, are neatly organized in the appendix and not boring general audiences). This is somewhat amusing considering that most relationship advice is packaged in a much more emotionally sensitive (and less professional and no-nonsense) package. If you want a guide to relationships that isn't going to hold your hand and tell you that you are perfect as you are and everything is going to be OK, you will not enjoy this book, but if you enjoy practical guides and would like to pick up some interesting insights on dating and relationships, you'll be glad you gave this book a try.
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Cameron
149 reviews · 11 followers
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June 4, 2022
This is a bit of a mad book, in that I highly suspect it's one of the most thought out and ruthless ways to arrange a relationship, the authors essentially advocate for relationships that enable you to become greater than the sum of your parts, which sounds pretty innocuous but in actuality, the methodology within is highly deliberate and thought through.
That said the book is deliberately open-minded and lists a variety of different relationship styles that could work for various different circumstances.
I think it might be the relationship guide for achieving success out there. It definitely did make me want a partner that propelled me forward in life!
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Malcolm Collins
6 books · 408 followers
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July 19, 2020
I am really proud of the work our team put into making this book as comprehensive as it is.
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LP
2 reviews
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November 30, 2020
This book has a lot of information in its appendix and you can design your reading experience by selectively reading the chapters relevant to your personal goals and life. What I like about the book is that the book was cowritten by a man and a woman, making the points they present relatable to readers of both genders.
I recommended this book to my male friends who are struggling with the dating scene as well, since I personally found this book to be insightful and useful. I think bearing in mind that the concept of BATNA (best alternative to negotiated agreement), aka Opportunity Cost in Economics (the second best alternative you can get next to the option you are evaluating), is incredibly important while dating, as the authors are trying to remind us readers. You should always know what your objectives are, how much you are willing to concede and if nothing works, what truly can make you happy in your personal life, BEFORE going into a relationship or even falling head over heels over someone.
I also wrote to the authors after reading the book and actually discussed with them about my thoughts on the content. They have a network of actual professionals (counseling, coaches, etc.) that they are happy to connect you with. Or if they have insights on the very topics you have follow up questions on, they will write back. I think that really helps readers understand their message more and could also improve their content over time, if they were to release more publications.
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Brian R. Knauff
5 reviews
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January 29, 2021
This book WILL challenge you.
There's a lot to question/disagree with, but as advertised, it's on me to dig deeper. (Challenge accepted!). This is the second of three books in the "pragmatist" series [we're] reading together. I have no doubts as to the usefulness and value of what Simone and Malcolm have written!
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Shoshannah
11 reviews · 7 followers
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October 23, 2021
I struggle to even draft a mental list of all the useful insights in this book. If you are serious about looking for relationships or improving the one you are in, then this is simply a must-read that will open your eyes to concepts and insights you are not likely to find anywhere else.
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Kevin S
7 reviews
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June 16, 2023
This book put words to the experiences that I've had over the past few years in the long-term relationship dating market. The clarity of categories in this book is very helpful.
I can't get over Malcom and Simone Collins as a tag-team pair who dissect a wide variety of topics. Their series of Pragmatist's Guide books is very exhaustive surrounding each topic.
Also the book contains a link to a free reading of the book! It's not professionally done (just Malcolm and a microphone somewhere in his own home), but a free audiobook is very amazing.
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Jevgenij
426 reviews · 6 followers
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March 7, 2021
For a "pragmatist's guide" there is very little actually actionable advice in this book. It's mostly a collection of research summaries of varying usefulness, without any practical conclusions.
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