Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World Hardcover – September 20, 2016
by Dalai Lama (Author), Desmond Tutu (Author), Douglas Carlton Abrams (Author)4.8 out of 5 stars 3,655 ratings
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An instant New York Times bestseller
Two spiritual giants. Five days. One timeless question.
Nobel Peace Prize Laureates His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu have survived more than fifty years of exile and the soul-crushing violence of oppression. Despite their hardships—or, as they would say, because of them—they are two of the most joyful people on the planet.
In April 2015, Archbishop Tutu traveled to the Dalai Lama's home in Dharamsala, India, to celebrate His Holiness's eightieth birthday and to create what they hoped would be a gift for others. They looked back on their long lives to answer a single burning question: How do we find joy in the face of life's inevitable suffering?
They traded intimate stories, teased each other continually, and shared their spiritual practices. By the end of a week filled with laughter and punctuated with tears, these two global heroes had stared into the abyss and despair of our time and revealed how to live a life brimming with joy.
This book offers us a rare opportunity to experience their astonishing and unprecendented week together, from the first embrace to the final good-bye.
We get to listen as they explore the Nature of True Joy and confront each of the Obstacles of Joy—from fear, stress, and anger to grief, illness, and death. They then offer us the Eight Pillars of Joy, which provide the foundation for lasting happiness. Throughout, they include stories, wisdom, and science. Finally, they share their daily Joy Practices that anchor their own emotional and spiritual lives.
The Archbishop has never claimed sainthood, and the Dalai Lama considers himself a simple monk. In this unique collaboration, they offer us the reflection of real lives filled with pain and turmoil in the midst of which they have been able to discover a level of peace, of courage, and of joy to which we can all aspire in our own lives.
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Editorial Reviews
Review
Winner of the 2016 Books for a Better Life Award in Spirituality
“The question may be timeless, but their answer has urgent significance.”
—Time Magazine
"[An] exquisite book...An intimate glimpse into the minds of two of the world's spiritual guides, and their foundation for an attainable and practical approach to experiencing a more enriching and sustainable life of abundant joy."
—Shelf Awareness
"This sparkling, wise, and immediately useful gift to readers from two remarkable spiritual masters offers hope that joy is possible for everyone even in the most difficult circumstances, and describes a clear path for attaining it."
—Publishers Weekly
"The world needs joy and compassion more than ever before – and who better than Archbishop Tutu and the Dalai Lama to show us how it is done. This beautiful book takes us on the journey of their friendship and gives us the gift of their wisdom. A bright spot of hope and love in this world."
—Sir Richard Branson
"It's a book that transports you deep within the intimate friendship that binds these two incredible souls. And it’s a book that vividly probes the very nature of joy itself — the illusions that eclipse it, the obstacles that obscure it, the practices that cultivate it, and the pillars that sustain it."
—Rich Roll, The Rich Roll Podcast
About the Author
His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso, describes himself as a simple Buddhist monk. He is the spiritual leader of the Tibetan People and of Tibetan Buddhism. He was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1989 and the US Congressional Gold Medal in 2007. Born in 1935 to a poor farming family in northeastern Tibet he was recognized at the age of two as the reincarnation of his predecessor, the 13th Dalai Lama. He has been a passionate advocate for a secular universal approach to cultivating fundamental human values. For over three decades the Dalai Lama has maintained an ongoing conversation and collaboration with scientists from a wide range of disciplines, especially through the Mind and Life Institute, an organization that he co-founded. The Dalai Lama travels extensively, promoting kindness and compassion, interfaith understanding, respect for the environment, and, above all, world peace. He lives in exile in Dharamsala, India. For more information, please visit www.dalailama.com.
Desmond Mpilo Tutu, Archbishop Emeritus of Southern Africa, became a prominent leader in the crusade for justice and racial reconciliation in South Africa. He was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1984 and the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2009. In 1994, Tutu was appointed chair of South Africa’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission by Nelson Mandela, where he pioneered a new way for countries to move forward after experiencing civil conflict and oppression. He was the founding chair of The Elders, a group of global leaders working together for peace and human rights. Archbishop Tutu is regarded as a leading moral voice and an icon of hope. Throughout his life, he has cared deeply about the needs of people around the world, teaching love and compassion for all. He lives in Cape Town, South Africa. For more information please visit tutu.org.za.
Douglas Abrams is an author, editor, and literary agent. He is the founder and president of Idea Architects, a creative book and media agency helping visionaries to create a wiser, healthier, and more just world. He is also the co-founder with Pam Omidyar and Desmond Tutu of HumanJourney.com, a public benefit company working to share life-changing and world-changing ideas. Doug has worked with Desmond Tutu as his cowriter and editor for over a decade, and before founding his own literary agency, he was a senior editor at HarperCollins and also served for nine years as the religion editor at the University of California Press. He believes strongly in the power of books and media to catalyze the next stage of global evolutionary culture. He lives in Santa Cruz, California. For more information, please visit ideaarchitects.com and humanjourney.com.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
“Is joy a feeling that comes and surprises us, or is it a more dependable way of being?” I asked. “For the two of you, joy seems to be something much more enduring. Your spiritual practice hasn’t made you somber and serious. It’s made you more joyful. So how can people cultivate that sense of joy as a way of being, and not just a temporary feeling?”
The Archbishop and the Dalai Lama looked at each other and the Archbishop gestured to the Dalai Lama. The Dalai Lama squeezed the Archbishop’s hand and began. “Yes, it is true. Joy is something different from happiness. When I use the word happiness, in a sense I mean satisfaction. Sometimes we have a painful experience, but that experience, as you’ve said with birth, can bring great satisfaction and joyfulness.”
“Let me ask you,” the Archbishop jumped in. “You’ve been in exile fifty-what years?”
“Fifty-six.”
“Fifty-six years from a country that you love more than anything else. Why are you not morose?”
“Morose?” the Dalai Lama asked, not understanding the word. As Jinpa hurried to translate morose into Tibetan, the Archbishop clarified, “Sad.”
The Dalai Lama took the Archbishop’s hand in his, as if comforting him while reviewing these painful events. The Dalai Lama’s storied discovery as the reincarnation of the Dalai Lama meant
that at the age of two, he was swept away from his rural home in the Amdo province of eastern Tibet to the one-thousand-room Potala Palace in the capital city of Lhasa. There he was raised in opulent isolation as the future spiritual and political leader of Tibet and as a godlike incarnation of the Bodhisattva of Compassion. After the Chinese invasion of Tibet in 1950, the Dalai Lama was thrust into politics. At the age of fifteen he found himself the ruler of six million people and facing an all-out and desperately unequal war. For nine years he tried to negotiate with Communist China for his people’s welfare, and sought political solutions as the country came to be annexed. In 1959, during an uprising that risked resulting in a massacre, the Dalai Lama decided, with a heavy heart, to go into exile. The odds of successfully escaping to India were frighteningly small, but to avoid a confrontation and a bloodbath, he left in the night dressed as a palace guard. He had to take off his recognizable glasses, and his blurred vision must have heightened his sense of fear and uncertainty as the escape party snuck by garrisons of the People’s Liberation Army. They endured sandstorms and snowstorms as they summited nineteen-thousand-foot mountain peaks during their three-week escape.
“One of my practices comes from an ancient Indian teacher,” the Dalai Lama began answering the Archbishop’s question. “He taught that when you experience some tragic situation, think about it. If there’s no way to overcome the tragedy, then there is no use worrying too much. So I practice that.” The Dalai Lama was referring to the eighth-century Buddhist master Shantideva, who wrote, “If something can be done about the situation, what need is there for dejection? And if nothing can be done about it, what use is there for being dejected?”
The Archbishop cackled, perhaps because it seemed almost too incredible that someone could stop worrying just because it was pointless.
“Yes, but I think people know it with their head.” He touched both index fingers to his scalp. “You know, that it doesn’t help worrying. But they still worry.”
“Many of us have become refugees,” the Dalai Lama tried to explain, “and there are a lot of difficulties in my own country. When I look only at that,” he said, cupping his hands into a small circle, “then I worry.” He widened his hands, breaking the circle open. “But when I look at the world, there are a lot of problems, even within the People’s Republic of China. For example, the Hui Muslim community in China has a lot of problems and suffering. And then outside China, there are many more problems and more suffering. When we see these things, we realize that not only do we suffer, but so do many of our human brothers and sisters. So when we look at the same event from a wider perspective, we will reduce the worrying and our own suffering.”
I was struck by the simplicity and profundity of what the Dalai Lama was saying. This was far from “don’t worry, be happy,” as the popular Bobby McFerrin song says. This was not a denial of pain and suffering, but a shift in perspective—from oneself and toward others, from anguish to compassion—seeing that others are suffering as well. The remarkable thing about what the Dalai Lama was describing is that as we recognize others’ suffering and realize that we are not alone, our pain is lessened.
Often we hear about another’s tragedy, and it makes us feel better about our own situation. This is quite different from what the Dalai Lama was doing. He was not contrasting his situation with others, but uniting his situation with others, enlarging his identity and seeing that he and the Tibetan people were not alone in their suffering. This recognition that we are all connected—whether Tibetan Buddhists or Hui Muslims—is the birth of empathy and compassion.
I wondered how the Dalai Lama’s ability to shift his perspective might relate to the adage “Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.” Was it truly possible to experience pain, whether the pain of an injury or an exile, without suffering? There is a Sutta, or teaching of the Buddha, called the Sallatha Sutta, that makes a similar distinction between our “feelings of pain” and “the suffering that comes as a result of our response” to the pain: “When touched with a feeling of pain, the uninstructed, ordinary person sorrows, grieves, and laments, beats his breast, becomes distraught. So he feels two pains, physical and mental. Just as if they were to shoot a man with an arrow and, right afterward, were to shoot him with another one, so that he feels the pain of two arrows.” It seems that the Dalai Lama was suggesting that by shifting our perspective to a broader, more compassionate one, we can avoid the worry and suffering that is the second arrow.
“Then another thing,” the Dalai Lama continued. “There are different aspects to any event. For example, we lost our own country and became refugees, but that same experience gave us new opportunities to see more things. For me personally, I had more opportunities to meet with different people, different spiritual practitioners, like you, and also scientists. This new opportunity arrived because I became a refugee. If I remained in the Potala in Lhasa, I would have stayed in what has often been described as a golden cage: the Lama, holy Dalai Lama.” He was now sitting up stiffly as he once had to when he was the cloistered spiritual head of the Forbidden Kingdom.
“So, personally, I prefer the last five decades of refugee life. It’s more useful, more opportunity to learn, to experience life. Therefore, if you look from one angle, you feel, oh how bad, how sad. But if you look from another angle at that same tragedy, that same event, you see that it gives me new opportunities. So, it’s wonderful. That’s the main reason that I’m not sad and morose. There’s a Tibetan saying: ‘Wherever you have friends that’s your country, and wherever you receive love, that’s your home.’”
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Product details
Item Weight : 1.1 pounds
Hardcover : 384 pages
ISBN-10 : 9780399185045
ISBN-13 : 978-0399185045
Product Dimensions : 5.8 x 1.2 x 8.6 inches
Publisher : Avery; Later prt. Edition (September 20, 2016)
ASIN : 0399185046
Language: : English
Best Sellers Rank: #995 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
#1 in Dalai Lama
#17 in Spiritual Self-Help (Books)
#36 in Happiness Self-Help
Customer Reviews: 4.8 out of 5 stars 3,655 ratings
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dalai lama desmond tutu spiritual leaders must read lama and archbishop archbishop tutu douglas abrams life changing highly recommend lama and desmond archbishop desmond thought provoking bishop tutu dali lama human beings eight pillars well written wonderful book easy to read great men
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5.0 out of 5 stars I purchased this book because I struggle with anxiety and depression and have difficulty finding joy in life sometimes
Reviewed in the United States on November 18, 2017
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I would give this book even more stars if I could. I am currently reading it for the 3rd time, and I am still picking up on new things and ways of thinking. Yes, it is informative about Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu, but the bulk of the book challenges ones thinking, way of life, and the way we cultivate what comes into our lives, both positive and negative. I purchased this book because I struggle with anxiety and depression and have difficulty finding joy in life sometimes. I am not saying this book is a cure, but it has helped me. Recently, going through some struggles at work with coworkers and negativity, I chose to start reading this book once again to help me not to thrive on the negative, but to Choose Joy. Can't recommend this book enough (even if you are not religious, even if you don't know anything about these two men, the book will benefit you.) Definitely will be buying copies for Christmas gifts.
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Elicia H
5.0 out of 5 stars Perfect book to start the day!
Reviewed in the United States on June 25, 2018
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I leave this book on my living room table and read a chapter every morning with my coffee. I just read the chapter on loneliness and it is so profound and I wish every human would read it. This isn’t you’re normal self help book. I have tons of self help books, and they are mostly the same message said in a different way. This is two great friends discussing deep and meaningful human things. This is an amazing book!
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Snowdolfin
5.0 out of 5 stars It May Change You Forever!
Reviewed in the United States on October 31, 2016
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A quick read that offers much good medicine for our troubled world. Both the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu have risen beyond their respective religions to reach out to all humans regardless of their location. A lot of inspiration here. Read it once or twice and chew on what they say. It could lighten your load, put a smile on your face, and maybe change your life.
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Lenora G.
5.0 out of 5 stars Joy is for Everyone!
Reviewed in the United States on May 3, 2017
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This is a marvelous book, by two of the most genuinely happy people living. They have both gone through great pain, horrendous sorrow, and yet they remain happy. How is that? They have discovered the "secret" and herein share it with all of us, if we will be read with open hearts.
The book is a series of discussions between the two clerics, moderated by Douglas Abrams. The format is informal, and a little different than what many of us are used to, but the words, oh, the words!
"I believe everyone has the responsibility to develop a happier world. We need, ultimately, to have a greater concern for others' well-being. In other words, kindness or compassion, ..." (HH the Dalai Lama). This book shows us how to develop a happier world—starting with ourselves. Love your neighbor as you love yourself (Mark 12:31, the Holy Bible)—after all, if you don't love yourself, you cannot love anyone else. "The ultimate source of Happiness is within us." (HH)
In the back of this book are meditations and prayers to help us on our daily journey to find true joy, the ultimate source of our happiness, and once found, we'll know how to share it with one and all.
The only quibble I have with this book is there is no index. I heartily and unequivocally recommend this book to everyone, no matter where they are on their spiritual journey—just starting out or finishing a life long quest. I further suggest you buy a hard copy you can make notes in, so you can find things at a glance when you want to. Yes, I know, writing in books is a big no-no – but it makes me happy.
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Bruce
5.0 out of 5 stars this work of love and passion not only met my expectations
Reviewed in the United States on June 26, 2017
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Finding few things that meet expectations today due to overenthusiastic marketing, this work of love and passion not only met my expectations, but exceeded them! His Holiness the Dalai Lama with Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu and Douglas Abrams shared and crafted a work of joy, release and freedom, a work of compassion and commitment, a work of eye-opening and soul expanding insight for the 'other(s)' sharing this time and place on the planet. With their life experiences and knowledge of the faiths, along with knowledge of applied bio-sciences this book points the direction towards life full-filling joy through the commonality of two faith traditions and love of all. It then moves through current research which substantiates the practices of both faiths with evidence of the positive measurable effects the practices bring to the human body and to humanity as a whole. One would expect it to end there but no, it instead concludes with the sharing of the joy of living of two faithful brothers and a celebration with a displaced but not joy filled community.
It is an epiphany event for me - weaving together many random threads into a beautiful whole and assuring me of where to goo from here. I have not found anything like this in a life that now exceeds sixty years. Hope it brings the same experience to everyone. Thank you and peace to all involved.
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Bonnie Christine
5.0 out of 5 stars WORDS TO LIVE BY
Reviewed in the United States on December 2, 2016
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I wish everyone in the world could read this book. Could not put it down from the moment I started reading. H.H. Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu are two of the finest living Beings on the planet. We are fortunate to have their encouraging and inspiring words on how to live in these challenging times. I sent copies of this book to friends and family and they will pay it forward. The best book that I read in 2016.
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Howie
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic
Reviewed in the United States on October 25, 2016
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Amazing insights into how to experience joy and compassion. Really well written by Doug Abrams; potentially life changing dialogues between two of the greatest spiritual leaders of our time.
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Fred Patterson
5.0 out of 5 stars Powerful Insights
Reviewed in the United States on November 6, 2016
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This charming book focuses on how we can improve our lives and be joyful. It is a practical guide not just theoretical. We are all flawed need help. It shows how to cope with suffering and become joyful.
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J. A. Potter
5.0 out of 5 stars Uplifting
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 22, 2018
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Amazing book . Have always been a follower of the Dalai Lama but this book is one of the best as I was reading it whilst in a hospital waiting room whilst my husband was undergoing a cancer screening and the conversation between the Dalai Lama and Archbishop TuTu could still make me laugh would definitely recommend it really can lift your spirits and give you a different perspective on life.
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Mrs M J Edley
5.0 out of 5 stars Joy from possessions and buying new things is short lived
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 13, 2018
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A true testament to what matters in life. It matters not what religion, what creed, what background someone comes from. What matters is the ability that exists in us all to see beyond the shell to what's inside. Joy from possessions and buying new things is short lived. Happiness comes from within and from our ability to be compassionate and help others. On some levels this sounds idealistic but in the Western world, we live on the busy treadmill of life - we have such busy lives we forget about the simple things that make the world go round. I wish I could meet these two inspirational leaders. Their respect for civilisation and their love for each other is inspiring. I would thank them for their insights and simple messages... it's not hard. Respect each other and show compassion for each other. Learn to live together without hatred and prejudice. Idealistic - maybe but nevertheless within the realms of our reach.
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Sajeev
5.0 out of 5 stars A wonderful book that will make you just a little more joyful during the journey of life
Reviewed in India on April 25, 2017
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This is one of the most wonderful books that I have read in recent times. It contains the conversation between Arch Bishop Desmond Tutu and HH The Dalai Lama. The conversations took place over a one week period when the Arch Bishop visited Dharamshala for celebrating the 80th birthday of Dalai Lama.
The conversations are split into three sections
1 The Nature of True Joy : This section explores how suffering can be a foundation of joy, if one's perspective is correct and one allows suffering to ennoble instead of embitter oneself. It also explores how hedonism (rampant materialism) cannot be the source of joy and the sources of true joy.
2. The obstacles to Joy : This section explores various emotions that are impediments to joy with chapters devoted to Fear, Anger, Sadness, Despair, Loneliness, Envy, Suffering and finally Illness & Death. Each person can take something away from each of the chapters depending on what causes us the most pain.
3. The Eight Pillars of Joy : Perspective, Humility, Humor, Acceptance, Forgiveness, Gratitude, Compassion and Generosity.
There is also a final section which focuses on joy practices that focus on practical things that we can do on a daily basis to ensure that we are more joyful. The author also stresses that there is no rigidity in the following of these practices and one can adopt what works for you (and is in consonance with your religious beliefs) and discard others.
A point that I would like to stress is that this book is not religion specific and is meant for everyone - Christians, Buddhists,Hindus, Muslims, Sikhs or even atheists like me.
Ultimately all of us seek a world which is kinder, more compassionate and generous and this book shows how this can be achieved. It is also practical since both the Dalai Lama and Arch Bishop are joyous people despite enduring tremendous adversity - one by being exiled from his homeland for 50 years and the other by enduring the scourge of racism in South Africa. Their friendship and camaraderie will make you smile and bring a little bit of joy into your life.
If you find this review useful then please press the Yes button for helpfulness. Wishing you joy and good health in your own incredible journey called life.
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pinpin
5.0 out of 5 stars Must read! Thank you for writing this book.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 15, 2017
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This is the BEST book of my life. I couldn't stop my tears at the end. Blessings and all my love to Dalai Lama & Desmond Tutu. I can feel their love, warmth in my heart.
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Joan Heath
5.0 out of 5 stars The natural way to a positive life of joy for yourself and others.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 19, 2019
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Although this book is written by two of the greatest religious leaders of our day, it is not about religion, it is about being human. They claim that humans naturally need connectedness and to live in harmony with each other; to accept ourselves as we are, but also to accept others. As Martin Luther King Jr said, 'We must learn to live together as sisters and brothers or we perish together as fools' and this book talks about how this can be done without being either political or religious, but by changing attitudes and striving for joy in our lives. An inspirational book
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