The Road Less Traveled Summary & Critical Review | WIZBUSKOUT

The Road Less Traveled Summary & Critical Review | WIZBUSKOUT

The Road Less Traveled Summary & Critical Review

Contents

What’s in it? Quick Summary

About the author

The Road Less Traveled Meaning?

The Road Less Traveled Summary

Lesson #1: Accept suffering and life will be easy.

Lesson #2: Love is not about being romantic.

Lesson #3: Discipline is impossible without learning delayed gratification.

Lesson #4: We all have a philosophy, even if we don’t realize it.

Lesson #5: True spiritual growth is impossible without embracing scientific skepticism and examining reality.

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The Road Less Traveled Review

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FAQs about The Road Less Traveled by M Scott Peck

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Now it’s your turn

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About The Author

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M. Scott Peck was a psychiatrist, author and a public speaker, best known for his book, The Road Less Traveled (1978).

He wrote several other books, including People of the Lie (1983) and The Different Drum (1987). He was also a professor at Case Western Reserve University and the University of Massachusetts Medical School.

His work on spiritual growth has been credited as a major influence on contemporary psychology. He has also been featured on several television programs such as The Oprah Winfrey Show and Larry King Live. He died on September 25, 2005.

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The Road Less Traveled Meaning?

The Road Less Traveled means that living life like nobody else.

• It means that instead of living in illusory bubbles and fairy tales, we should examine the reality and aspire for knowledge and understanding.
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• We should challenge our beliefs by questioning them.
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• We should strive to find the truth that often gets lost.
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• It means pushing ourselves to higher and higher levels of our spiritual selves.
• Most people follow the same patterns throughout their lives. They follow the same script without even looking whether it’s right or not.

So, that’s what does it mean to travel the road that’s less traveled?

It means living differently from others.

But don’t misinterpret the word “differently.” You don’t have to rebel for the sake of it.

Such crucial decisions must come from one’s own understanding.

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The Road Less Traveled Summary

Looking for the best book summary of The Road Less Traveled?

Well, good for you!

Because I’ve listed 5 best lessons from this book that will help you grow spiritually and philosophically.

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Lesson #1: Accept Suffering And Life Will Be Easy.

Most of us go around in life thinking that life is supposed to full of rainbows and butterflies.

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We live in fairy tales.

But no matter how much we reject it, the truth is that life is full of suffering.

The harder you try to rebel with this idea, the more you find yourself suffering.

We suffer because we dislike the impermanent nature of reality.

We wish for the reality to be something that it is not.

That’s where the root of suffering lies.

We expect things to happen our way, and when they don’t, it hurts.

We seek security in uncertainty.

Likewise, we seek pleasure in the ocean of suffering.

This doesn’t mean that happiness and joy are not possible at all.

This is not negative thinking.

The problem is more fundamental.

Most people don’t understand the definitions of happiness and joy in the first place.

So, just as with anything else in life, we expect things to be in a certain way.

We don’t accept suffering in life because we don’t want the life to be seen as a collection of sufferings.

Anytime, you move away from reality, you choose delusion.

We create delusions through ideas and suffer because we didn’t decide to look and examine the reality.

We believe it is easy to be deluded.

It’s not true.

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It is actually more difficult to be in delusion, counterintuitively.

It brings more pain and suffering when you live in delusion.

It’s more painful to stick to false beliefs and ideas that are based on an ideal world that doesn’t exist.

That’s why it’s better to see the reality as it is.

Life is full of suffering. 

But the best part is: It’s possible to reduce it by accepting the true nature of life.

So accept that suffering and happiness, both, are part of a package.

When you accept suffering, it feels less painful. 

You become stronger by embracing truth.

Many people would not want to hear that on a happy day.

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But please remember that my goal here is to tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.

Keep reading to learn more…

Lesson #2: Love Is Not About Being Romantic.

Today, the word “love” has become a cliché.

Everybody talks about it, but nobody understands its correct definition.

Let us begin by discussing what love is not, then we will gain clarity on what it actually is.

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Love is not merely romanticism.

Yes, it’s different from what you see in movies.

It’s not about being happy all the time and expecting some things from our partners.

Love is not easy.

It’s surprising how romantic movies talk about falling in love. 

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They say, “Love is blind, anybody can fall in love.”

This is not true at all.

If you follow this silly definition of love, and confuse “love” with “romanticism” you should become serious.

That’s because these flawed concepts create more suffering in our lives.

Remember, clinging to false concepts is suffering, we have to understand the truth.

“Love” is all about growth.

Note the word “growth” here.

The person who truly loves another person is concerned about spiritual growth of another person.

But he doesn’t expect anything from that person.

Allow me to explain.

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To understand the true meaning of love, you must understand spirituality.

We are born to expand, says the author, and that’s where all the thirst for knowledge comes from.

So, love is about extending yourself to become something more than our physical bodies.

It’s about growth in spiritual essence.

Genuine love is about becoming capable enough and so that you can help the other person grow and expand spiritually.

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Now compare this definition with the lie that is sold to us.

Real love demands effort, dedication, discipline, commitment, patience, knowledge, etc.

While fake love demands no such thing.

Instead, it’s based on the idea that the other person will make you complete. 

Fake love is delusional. 

It hides the insecurities under the blanket of romanticism.

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That’s why when you say that it’s easy to fall in love, it only proves that it’s easy to fall in delusion.

This doesn’t mean that you can’t like another person. 

It means that true love is not random and accidental. It’s always based on understanding.

If this confuses you, just remember that you have to learn how to love, it doesn’t happen by chance.

Lesson #3: Discipline Is Impossible Without Learning Delayed Gratification.

In simple words, discipline is delaying pleasure in the present moment so that we can gain long-term happiness in the long term.

Sounds simple, right?

It’s harder than you think.

Human mind has a tendency to avoid any kind of suffering.

Remember, we tend to ignore the pain of taking any responsibilities and often delay our projects until the deadline is close.

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Both procrastination and delayed gratification are enemies of each other.

If you learn how to delay gratification, you’ll procrastinate less and take responsibility for your life.

But if you can’t delay gratification, it’ll be harder for you to avoid the traps of life.

Most traps in life are centered around pleasure.

That’s why so many fall into it.

Ezoic

We are wired to chase pleasure or instant gratification.

However, growth is not possible without discipline.

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To grow in life, you need discipline.

And discipline requires delaying gratification.

Many people tend to ignore major issues like climate change, mental health, etc. because these problems demand everybody to take responsibility.

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Basically, it’s boring hard work that requires patience and discipline.

Just think about it.

The author believes that ignoring bigger issues is a mental illness.

And he is quite right.

No wise person would ignore larger issues in front of impermanent pleasure.

So train your mind slowly to get over this issue.

Lesson #4: We All Have A Philosophy, Even If We Don’t Realize It.

Philosophy means love for wisdom.

Nobody knows better than wise people how to live a meaningful life.

You might say, “But I’m not a philosopher.”

You are correct.

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But the thing is: Nobody lives without beliefs.

Everybody has a map to navigate this complex life.

And that map is your personal philosophy.

Although, it’s debatable whether it’s really personal or not.

It’s just that many people don’t realize which map they are carrying.

Note the word “realize” here.

It means to fully understand something.

As many people don’t understand their philosophy, they choose only those ideas that they find convenient.

And there is pleasure in convenience.

It is worth noting that pleasure isn’t bad in itself.

But if most of your life is based on achieving maximum gratification, then I believe, you should reevaluate your map.

While talking about philosophy, you also can’t ignore “religion” here.

I know, I know, when we hear the word “religion” it rings all kinds of bells in our minds.

But realize that most religions in the world are philosophical teachings carried forward by wise people so that we all can grow spiritually.

As we all have some kind of philosophy in our minds, it’s time we examine what it is. Because if you ignore it, chances are you may end up confused in life. Not knowing what to do and which principles to base your life on.

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Many people don’t revise their maps because they want to avoid putting in the work.

There is pain in taking responsibility. 

It’s the same bad procrastination thingy that we do daily.

You don’t derive any kind of pleasure by questioning your rigid beliefs.

The good part is: Once you figure out your philosophy, your life gets sorted.

You become wiser. 

That means: You know exactly what to do and what not to do.

In the book, the author even says that “we all are religious.”

I hope now you understand why he says so.

Always remember that the goal of every philosophy is to help you become wiser so that you use your resources wisely and elevate yourself consciously as a spiritual being.

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Practically speaking, you should constantly examine your knowledge and revise your ideas so that you don’t follow bad philosophy.

Sound interesting? Keep reading to learn more.

Lesson #5: True Spiritual Growth Is Impossible Without Embracing Scientific Skepticism And Examining Reality.

In the last lesson, we learned how we all have a philosophy or religion.

Now if you are scientific, you might say, “I only believe in scientific laws and nothing else. I don’t care what the author of this book says or thinks.”

Wait, before I move forward, allow me to clarify: I love science. And I also love philosophy.

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That is why I believe I can assist you with this matter.

Okay, so here is the thing: Both science and religion, regardless of how far apart and different they might look from each other, go hand in hand with each other.

Don’t believe me?

Allow me to explain.

First, let’s understand, “What is Science?”

Science studies object and physical laws of the universe.

In the authors’ words, it studies anything that can be measured.

If you can’t measure it, science doesn’t bother.

On the flip side, philosophy charters in the unknown areas where science fails to measure.

For example, there is no way to measure human values. You can’t measure how wise a person.

Sure, you can estimate and compare. But again, it’s subjective.

In contrast, you can measure an object’s height and weight. The observers can reach a common conclusion and call it a day.

The same is true for the forces and laws of physical nature.

You can throw a ball from a certain height and the gravitational force will pull it downwards.

You can repeat this experiment thousands of times under the same condition, you’ll get the same result.

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Science is experimental. You are welcome to question anything.

In the case of philosophy, things often get complicated.

It is possible that two philosophers might never reach an agreement and arrive at two different conclusions.

The reason? It’s subjective.

 Why does philosophy even exists?

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The beauty of philosophy is because of its unconventional element.

There are set rules in science, it has to follow discovered laws of reality. While philosophy questions those rules.

Although we all feel proud while learning science and technologies, the author says that it has a tunnel vision.

Science is incomplete without philosophy.

Now do you get it? They are both connected.

In short, by embracing both philosophy (religion) and science, we can reach greater possibilities.

True growth is only possible when you are capable to identify false ideas and discover the truth. 

So be both scientific and philosophical (religious).

The Road Less Traveled Summary - Briefer

The Road Less Traveled by Morgan Scott Peck Summary - Briefer

The Road Less Traveled Summary

A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth

By Morgan Scott Peck

12-minute read

psychology

spirituality

philosophy

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How do you feel your life is going at the moment? According to M. Scott Peck, 'life is difficult.' In fact, that's how he begins The Road Less Traveled. While this may seem extraordinarily cynical, there's method in Peck's claim. Many of us may feel that problem-solving, and facing our issues are best avoided, because these actions cause us to experience pain. We tend to try and avoid suffering as much as possible, because we're predisposed to shelving any feelings of despair and discomfort. However, as many studies show, avoiding pain typically causes us to feel a much greater sense of loss and sorrow later on.

The Road Less Traveled suggests that we consider taking the alternative route – the metaphorical road that's filled with bumps, potholes, and possibilities for getting lost. By taking these roads, instead of the easier ones, we'll become more spiritually enlightened, and will grow in ways that we can't imagine.

Dr. M. Scott Peck uses his professional experience as a psychiatrist to give us strategies to deal with life's pain and disappointments. The Road Less Traveled is an international bestseller, having sold more than seven million copies. Furthermore, five years after being written, it reached the New York Times bestseller list, and made it into the Guinness Book of World Records. In short, few self-help books have reached this level of recognition.

This summary will take you briefly down the road less traveled. It's a solemn and sobering read, but it provides insight into psychological change, and recognizing limitations as they occur. For many, the life-changing strategies and insights that this book offers, have enabled them to grow and adapt to struggles and daily suffering. This timeless classic explores ideas of love, discipline, suffering, and evil, and adds insight into mental illness, anxiety, stress, and everyday crises. We know that each day brings a series of new challenges and disappointments, and we'd be delusional to think we're immune to this. By truly understanding the concepts in this book, we're guided towards a state of increased serenity and inner peace, so that we can begin to experience the richness and excitement of everyday life.

Life Is Difficult

The central tenet is that life is difficult, and that the road to spiritual enlightenment and fulfillment is long. There are no shortcuts, so the lessons in this book may seem arduous at times, but there aren't any quick fixes regarding spiritual growth and self-awareness. As the sayings go, 'change doesn't happen overnight,' and 'Rome wasn't built in a day.'

The first stage of the journey along the road less traveled, is genuinely accepting that life is complicated. The idea is once we can reconcile that life isn't easy, and isn't supposed to be easy, then we will be able to cope with obstacles a lot more effectively. So we need to embrace life's difficulties, and then take responsibility for all of our problems and hardships.

How often do you say things like, 'I'll sort that out later,' or 'I'll confront her some other time'? Running away from problems is never the answer, and one of the critical lessons of this book is to tackle problems and difficulties as they arise, because problems never just go away.

Take Alcoholics Anonymous as an example. The first step, 'we admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable,' illustrates that the first step to any form of problem-solving is admitting that there's a problem to be solved. Prior to joining Alcoholics Anonymous, many alcoholics experience feelings of denial about their addiction. It's only when they take ownership of their problems that they're able to face them head-on. This first step takes incredible bravery and discipline, but it's a crucial part of the journey towards recovery.

The next step takes us back to the idea that change doesn't happen overnight, and that solving one's problems takes a lot of time and energy. In short, it takes discipline. Many of us often begin the process of change or personal growth, but then lose the willpower and strength, and end up back to where we started. Part one of this book deals with discipline and how it's at the core of all aspects of our health: be it emotional, psychological, spiritual, or physical.

We've looked at the importance of taking responsibility for our actions. However, we also need to have a strong focus on the truth, and being cognizant of balance and balanced behavior. When it comes to decisions, there aren't any quick fixes and it's absolutely crucial that we consider all of the factors and how the decision will affect not only ourselves, but others. Then there's the idea of delayed gratification.

Delayed gratification is one of the cornerstones of self-discipline. To define delayed gratification, let's look at Jackie and Nick. Their parents worked every single Christmas, and so Jackie and Nick would only be allowed to open their presents on the evening of Christmas Day. The whole day they would see other children playing with their gifts, and would anxiously wait for their parents to come home from work so that they could start celebrating. After a long family discussion about the day's work, the family would eventually sit down and open their presents. Over time, every family member found themselves delaying the opening of presents for longer and longer, and enjoying the ritualized chat beforehand. The family grew much closer together, thrived on long conversations, and enjoyed their gifts so much more because they got to hold onto the experience. Even though Jackie and Nick's parents have retired, the ritual of delaying presents and spending time chatting before giving and receiving gifts, has become a fixture of their Christmas celebrations. Patience, and being able to wait for things, can bring enormous and unexpected rewards.

We all need to accept that lasting change is a result of a long and tiring journey, and that we need to lean on others to support us along the way. Other people are crucial on our individual journeys, but we also need to be wary of emphasizing love as the guiding light towards infinite happiness.

Putting Love Into Perspective

We're often told that love makes the world go round. We've been told a lot about love, and often we're led to believe that we won't be truly happy until we find true love. The trouble with this is that love can make us lose our sense of purpose and individuality.

According to Peck, love is separateness and understanding one's partner as their own person, with their own personal journey. This doesn't just apply to our intimate partners, but to every person with whom we have a relationship. Furthermore, self-love is a significant part of enlightenment and fulfillment, and needs to be nurtured continuously. This section of the book is challenging, and requires a lot of self-reflexivity, but it provides valuable insight into reevaluating our relationships.

Let's look at parenting as an example. Are you very similar to your parents, very different, or somewhere in between? Take the example of Sarah and her daughter Sophie. Sarah grew up in a very traditional family in terms of gender roles, and expects her daughter to cook, clean, and marry a good husband who will provide for her. Sophie has no interest in domesticity and wants to be able to study and provide for herself. As a result, Sarah and Sophie argue relentlessly and cannot understand each other. Sarah feels disappointed continuously, and as if she has failed as a mother, and Sophie experiences constant guilt and isolation from her mother. Although they love each other, they're unable to come to terms with the idea that love is separate. We can't expect everyone we love to be just like us, no matter how much we want this.

What's more, exploring and engaging with our relationships helps us to become more self-aware. Love isn't about dependency, it's about freedom, and one of the key lessons is that we need to be more sensitive and understand another's differences. Once again, this takes discipline, and all parties need to make an effort to sustain and nurture love.

Love Is a Risk

Love is a risk because it can cause extreme suffering. Have you ever heard the saying that 'love is a verb'? Many of us think that love is a magical and all-encompassing feeling, but love takes a lot of commitment and discipline.

In psychotherapy, there's a term called cathexis. When we experience love, we often feel connected to something or someone. Emotional investment is a powerful feeling. Do you have a sentimental object that you cathect? Do you remember meeting someone for the first time and having instant chemistry with them? Cathecting often clouds our judgment, and the lesson here is that faithful and lasting love is about commitment and working towards long-lasting solutions.

Most relationships fail because partners don't put in the hard work. They also believe in the mythology of love and embody all of the feelings we experience when we cathect. To truly understand love, we need to work at and nurture our relationships, and be realistic about ourselves and our partners.

Religion as a Worldview

In the second half of the book, the author redefines religion, suggesting that we think about it in terms of a worldview.

According to Peck, there's a divine deity that's responsible for grace, and that when life is difficult, spirituality will fill in all of the unknowns. The suggestion here is that every human has a religion, and here it's worth using the synonym "worldview." The idea of a worldview is that every culture and society has standards and beliefs, which enable us to live our lives more critically.

What is your belief system?

It's unlikely that you don't believe anything at all. The argument here is that everyone has some sort of worldview or belief that guides us. Using a wide range of case studies and examples, Peck shows how religion can be an obstacle or a helpful tool to help someone reach self-actualization. There are many misconceptions about religion, and many of our reactions towards it are steeped in cultural and social traditions. Hence, if religion has been used as a weapon against us, or if it has been used as a source of comfort, we interpret it in different ways.

Alongside religion, is the idea of grace. This is viewed in terms of our conscious and unconscious, and how we allow openness and a sense of purpose to flow through us. According to the author, grace is a protective force that enables a sense of stability and wellness.

Why is it that some people can cope with trauma, and others find it more difficult?

The author believes that this is because a force and an instinct protect us so that we survive. The more we listen to and interact with our beliefs and spirituality, the more heightened this force. Peck gives examples of numerous everyday miracles and states that, 'the miracles described indicate that our growth as human beings is being assisted by a force other than our conscious will.'

Achieving Our Goals

Achieving our goals, and solving problems take discipline. Being disciplined means that we have to negate any sense of laziness. When you think of laziness, you probably think about not working hard enough, procrastinating, or not going for that run you promised yourself you'd go on. However, laziness comes in many different forms, and often we jump to conclusions, or make poor decisions because we don't think them through enough. Our author takes us back to the Garden of Eden, and suggests that had Adam and Eve thought more critically about eating the apple, they would have come to a different conclusion. The gift of rational thought comes down to spending time solving problems, and not being lazy with internal and external conversations.

What's more, many of us are lazy when it comes to altering our mindsets, or searching for knowledge.

In Conclusion

There are a lot of stories about traveling along roads, and meeting people along the way. As with all things, if you pick the easy route, you're likely to find like-minded people who have chosen the same path. The Road Less Traveled isn't only about your own personal journey and spiritual growth, but about other people's encounters and how they have dealt with life's hardships. And, that's not to say that everyone is successful at overcoming obstacles and challenges. There are numerous cases where individuals have refused change, or have lost interest in the process.

The first step is accepting that life is hard, and it's not always fair. Once you've done this, you can take back control, and everything else falls into place, provided that you're committed and accept responsibility for everything in your life. Relationships are hard; achieving our goals is hard; dealing with mental illness and suffering is hard. Still, once we know this, we can remove our rose-tinted glasses and get down to the business of becoming happier and more fulfilled.

And, as with all things in life, it's not about the destination at the end of the road, it's about traveling slowly and carefully down the road in order to accept and embrace suffering and hardships. After all, as Peck says, 'problems do not go away. They must be worked through or else they remain, forever a barrier to the growth and development of the spirit.'

So, how will you take back control and make the brave decision to choose the road less traveled?

Find this book on:

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The Road Less Traveled Summary - Four Minute Books

The Road Less Traveled Summary - Four Minute Books

The Road Less Traveled Summary

 November 30, 2017  Niklas Göke  Happiness, Motivation & Inspiration, Philosophy, Psychology, Relationships, Religion, Science, Self Improvement, Spirituality, Success

1-Sentence-Summary: The Road Less Traveled is a spiritual classic, combining scientific and religious views to help you grow by confronting and solving your problems through discipline, love and grace.

Read in: 4 minutes

Favorite quote from the author:

Table of Contents [Hide]

• Video Summary
• The Road Less Traveled Summary
• The Road Less Traveled Review
• Audio Summary
• Who would I recommend The Road Less Traveled summary to?

Video Summary

One thing that’s become abundantly clear to me after I finished Ryan Holiday’s latest book, Perennial Seller, is that creating a piece of work that stands the test of time is no easy task. Especially when you think beyond the trend wave any new release rides, maybe even beyond your own life. The Lindy effect is a good test: If a non-perishable thing like a technology, movie, or book has been around for 20 years, we can expect it to last another 20.

If this theory holds up, then The Road Less Traveled will sell well until at least 2058. Published in 1978 by then little-known American psychiatrist M. Scott Peck, this evergreen’s 40th birthday is fast approaching. Until now, it’s sold a staggering ten million copies.

Using his experience from counseling many clients throughout his career, he lays out a recipe for a fulfilled life that’s based on self-discipline, love, spirituality, and a mysterious force he calls grace. Mastering these is essential to maintain personal growth, he suggests, which in turn is key to a happy existence.

Here are 3 lessons from the first three categories he discusses:

1. Stay open to change your perspective of reality at any moment.
2. The action of loving is much more important than the feeling, which is fleeting.
3. We’re all religious, because religion is nothing more than a distinct perception of the world.

At Four Minute Books, we’re all about finding new paths. What better way to do that than to take The Road Less Traveled? Let’s go!

The Road Less Traveled Summary

If you want to save this summary for later, download the free PDF and read it whenever you want.

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Lesson 1: Always be willing to update your view of the world.

Most of our decisions to be dishonest originate from irrational thinking. When we lie, consciously or not, we’ve often just fallen prey to so-called cognitive biases, like the backfire effect, survivorship bias or irrational escalation. It’s easy to raise a finger and say: “Always be honest!” A lot of gurus do that.

That’s why I like the words Peck uses: A dedication to truth. He doesn’t emphasize being honest so much, as that’s often out of our control. What matters, he suggests is that we remain open to being wrong. How willing are you to change your opinion at a moment’s notice? It’s hard. It takes a lot of humility.

Sometimes, even when we’re presented with an opportunity to get a better understanding of reality, like facts that prove we’re wrong, we still can’t change our mind. Worse, we might even reaffirm our rusty and false beliefs (this is the backfire effect in action). You don’t have to cheer when you learn you’re on the wrong track, but if you can pause and entertain the idea of a new opinion at any time, you’re already closer to the truth than most people.

Lesson 2: Love is an action, not a feeling.

One of Sigmund Freud’s many contributions to the field of psychology was the idea of cathexis. It’s defined as the investment of emotional energy into an object or a person, often to an extent that’s unhealthy. Think of it like a romantic obsession or overdose of sexual desire.

Peck says cathexis happens when we intently focus on the “falling in love” aspect of a relationship that often happens early on. As a consequence, our love might burn with a bright flame, but soon fizzle into sparks before extinguishing altogether. To prevent this, he suggests we think of love as an action, not a feeling. If our love is genuine, it won’t require lots of feelings at all, since it’s much bigger than cathexis.

For example, in a well-functioning marriage both partners continue to choose their spouse, because they made a commitment to support that person and strive towards their goals together. Even if they disagree and occasionally get angry at each other, they don’t get swayed by those passing feelings.

In this sense, showing your love is as simple as giving your attention, listening and helping your partner reach their goals. No crazy feelings needed. This is similar to the distinction Jonathan Haidt made in The Happiness Hypothesis between passionate and companionate love. Without the latter, no relationship can last long-term.

Lesson 3: Religion is just a way of viewing the world, which means we all have one.

We mostly view religion as a set of strict rules and traditional rituals that a certain group follows in order to worship a or multiple deities. Peck begs to differ. He says we need to expand our definition of religion and uses it synonymously with ‘worldview.’ Our perspective of life is mostly shaped by our education in school and at home, as well as the family environment we grow up in.

For example, one of Peck’s clients was brought up by extremely conservative, devout and physically abusive parents. As a result he thought the world was an evil place, trying to punish him for every mistake he made. His religion was “everyone is out to get me, so I must play by the rules.” Notice how there’s no God involved in this.

What can we do to improve our religion, then? This goes back to the first lesson: Be open to change. Peck says taking a scientist’s approach allows us to continue exploring and questioning the world around us, so we can constantly improve our opinions and view of the world.

The Road Less Traveled Review

The Road Less Traveled strikes a great balance between science and religion, declaring neither superior to the other, which is likely a big part of its allure. Besides discipline, love and spirituality, Peck also describes grace as a mysterious force of positive growth in our lives. It universally adds serendipity in ways we can’t quite explain and thus comes as close to a miracle as it gets. A good read for everyone who leans heavily towards either side of the science-religion spectrum.

Audio Summary

Listen to the audio of this summary with a free reading.fm account*:

Who would I recommend The Road Less Traveled summary to?

The 17 year old, who returns home each day to a hostile household, the 29 year old single, who can’t explain why none of her relationships last and anyone who’s very religious or agnostic.

Last Updated on December 5, 2022

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The Road Less Traveled | Summary & Review | Tom Butler-Bowdon

The Road Less Traveled | M Scott Peck | Summary & Review | Tom Butler-Bowdon - Tom Butler-Bowdon

The Road Less Traveled 

(1978)

M Scott Peck

This is the self-help book that is read by people who don't read self-help books. It contains none of the alluring promises of boundless joy and happiness that are the feature of personal development writing, yet has still been a massive bestseller. Famously beginning with the words, 'Life is difficult', it covers such gloomy topics as the myth of romantic love, evil, mental illness, and the author's psychological and spiritual crises.

Perhaps because of its lack of rosiness, it is easy to give this book our confidence. The Road Less Traveled is inspirational, but in an old-fashioned way, putting self-discipline at the top of list of values for a good life. If you believe there are no easy ways to enlightenment, and that things like commitment and responsibility are the seeds of fulfilment, then you are belong in Dr Peck's territory.

Peck was a conventionally trained psychotherapist, but has been influential in the movement to have psychology recognise the stages of spiritual growth. He sees the great feature of our times as being the reconciliation of the scientific and the spiritual world views. The Road Less Traveled was his attempt to further bridge the gap, and it has clearly been successful. The book is welcomed by anyone who has found themselves torn between the science of psychology and the spiritual search.

Discipline

Self-control is the essence of Peck's brand of self-help. He says: "Without discipline we can solve nothing. With only some discipline we can solve only some problems. With total discipline we can solve all problems." A person who has the ability to delay gratification has the key to psychological maturity, whereas impulsiveness is a mental habit that, in denying opportunities to experience pain, creates neuroses. Most large problems we have are the result of not facing up to earlier, smaller problems, of failing to be 'dedicated to the truth'. The great mistake most people make is believing that problems will go away of their own accord.

This lack of responsibility will damage us in other ways. Our culture puts freedom on a pedestal, yet Peck recalls Eric Fromm's book Escape From Freedom, which looked at people's natural willingness to embrace political authoritarianism. It is referenced to support Peck's belief that, when it comes down to it, we shy from real freedom and responsibility.

The road and its rewards

The Road Less Traveled is rich with the stories of real people. Some of the vignettes demonstrate the transformation of a life, but in other cases people just refuse to change, or in the end can't be bothered. Ring true? It is in these less extreme cases that we are more likely to see our own quiet turning away from a bolder, richer life. Rather than the horror of a mental illness, Peck says, most of us have to deal with the straightforward anguish of missed opportunities.

Yet why is this so, when the rewards are so great? The road less traveled might be the spiritual path, but it is also a lot rockier and dimly lit next to the regular highway of life, which other people seem happy enough on. But Peck says that to ask this question of 'Why bother?', we must know nothing of joy. The rewards of spiritual life are enormous: peace of mind and a freedom from real worry that most people never imagine is possible. Burdens are always ready to be lifted, since they are no longer solely ours.

But deepened spirituality also brings responsibility; this is inevitable as we move from spiritual childhood to adulthood. Peck remembers St Augustine, who said: 'If you are loving and diligent, you may do whatever you want.' Just as our previous spiritual timidity and laziness resulted (as we can now see) in a very limited existence, so discipline opens the door to limitlessness in our experience of life. Only the more enlightened can be amused by the fact that others think they must lead a boring and restrained life; the walls that look stark from without may simply be shielding us from the glow of rapture within.

Love is a decision

What is the fuel on the road less traveled? Love, of course, and Peck is at his best discussing this thing that cannot be adequately defined. We tend to think of love as effortless, the freefall of 'falling in love'. While it may be mysterious, love is also effortful; love is a decision: '...the desire to love is not itself love. Love is as love does.'

The ecstatic state of being in love is in part a regression to infancy, a time when we felt our mother and ourselves to be one; we are back in communion with the world, and anything seems possible. Yet just as the baby comes to realise he or she is an individual, so the lover eventually returns to his or her self. At this point, Peck says, the work of 'real' love begins. Anyone can fall in love, but not everyone can decide to love. We may never control love's onset, but we may - with discipline - remain in charge of our response. And once these 'muscles' of love have been used, they tend to stay, increasing our power to channel love in the most life-giving and appropriate way.

Final comments

The discerning reader will note the contrast between Peck's belief that psychological change is necessarily slow, and the cognitive psychology view that our limitations can be removed without much trouble if we know how (see Seligman, Anthony Robbins). This is a basic divide in the self-help literature: the hard work ethic, components of which include building character and discovering soul; and the belief in mental technology, that our problems are not deep-seated and can be addressed by practical psycho-technological methods. If the former way is characterised by discipline and self-knowledge, the latter says that, if we only have the right tools, we can create whoever we want to be.

Those readers who exclusively cheer for the latter should balance themselves by reading Peck. He discusses, for instance, an experience that is not referred to in modern psychology at all: 'grace'. A surprise burst of peace, gratitude and freedom, Peck feels it the highest point of human experience, fruit of a life of discipline and purpose.

In his insistence on morality, discipline and admiration of long-suffering, Peck's writing can seem old-fashioned. Yet he is no conformist in his denouncement of the failure of psychotherapy to recognise people as spiritual beings, and the book has surprised many readers by its embrace of the Jungian, New Age concepts of the collective unconscious and synchronicity. Somehow, the blend of Christianity, the New Age and academic psychology works.

Peck's classic will seem a little earnest for some, for others it will be full of life-changing insights. It is one of the giants of the self-help canon, having sold over seven million copies, and its title has entered the public idiom. In spite of what Peck says about resistance to spirituality, the less traveled road is clearly getting more traffic.