Marie de Hennezel
Seize the Day: How the dying teach us to live Hardcover – 2 February 2012
by Marie de Hennezel (Author)
4.5 out of 5 stars 32 ratings
In this remarkable book psychologist Marie de Hennezel draws upon her personal experience of working with the terminally ill in a palliative care unit in Paris. Her encounters with people at the end of their life gives her a unique perspective on what life and death really mean, and her ultimate message, shared through the stories she recounts in this book, is one of celebrating the power and tenacity of the human spirit. She encourages us to embrace moments of joy and the small pleasures of life and to 'seize the day' at every opportunity. From the author of the Top Ten bestseller The Warmth of the Heart Prevents Your Body from Rusting comes this eloquent and inspirational work which will move everyone who reads it. 'Inspirational ...written with compassion and sympathy, the book eschews denial, transforming the unpalatable into something humane' Independent
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Print length
208 pages
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Product description
About the Author
Marie de Hennezel is a respected psychologist and psychotherapist entrusted with the mission for raising palliative-care awareness by the Ministry of Health in France. She has written nine books about the end of life, including Seize the Day (previously Intimate Death), and is the author of two ministerial reports about caring for those with terminal illnesses. Her book The Warmth of the Heart Prevents Your Body from Rusting: Ageing without growing old was a Number One bestseller in France and a Top Ten bestseller in the UK.
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Product details
Publisher : Macmillan (2 February 2012)
Language : English
Hardcover : 208 pages
ISBN-10 : 1447205774
ISBN-13 : 978-1447205777
Reading age : 18 years and up
Dimensions : 14.3 x 2 x 22.2 cmBest Sellers Rank: 1,146,709 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)3,863 in Self-Help for Grief & Bereavement
30,504 in Sociology (Books)
77,877 in Parenting & Family
Customer Reviews:
4.5 out of 5 stars 32 ratings
Customer reviews
4.5 out of 5 stars
Top reviews from other countries
bluebirdfp
5.0 out of 5 stars This is a fantastic bookReviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 27 May 2012
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This book has changed my life. Maria de Hennezel has had the courage to confront the very thing we are most afraid of in the developed West - DEATH. And guess what? it's not so bad! She has talked to many people dying of AIDS and cancer, and found that what matters most is LOVE. People who know they are going to die soon feel blessed by the knowledge of the life they've led, the relationships they've had, and - hey ho - the curiosity of life on 'the other side'. She pulls no punches, it's a hard business, but I now know that if I was dying, I would know what was most important - to be near loved ones, to make peace with those from whom we have become estranged, and very importantly, to give and receive physical contact. This woman is very, very special. She admits that at times she is overwhelmed by sadness, but there is healing in crying, both for the sick and the helper. The greatest message she gives is: FACE IT! Denying death is what causes the greatest heartache. In her view, death is a kind of rebirth, a final way to make amends, to ensure a smooth passage into....whatever you believe comes next. (And you don't have to be religious). It seems on the surface a depressing subject but I have been so uplifted by it. We really need to change our attitude and stop trying to chase away the Grim Reaper. With the right mindset, he is not such a scary guy at all.
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ferret
4.0 out of 5 stars seize the dayReviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 8 April 2012
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I bought this book probably for the same reason as many others, to see if I can condone myself in my care for a dying relative, or perhaps to help alleviate my own terror of death.
My choice was helped by the reviews I read, & I am glad her writing has found so much favour in so many. Alas, I find it a trifle arrogant & precocious: perhaps the author didn't mean it so, or perhaps it was the translation, I don't know. But, that apart I do believe it contains much help in how the living can support the dying in their final (should that be "final"....or first??) days, and I have learnt much from this book. On that alone I would reccommend it: like so many things, it will largely be determined by what you seek within this book.
I wish though I had read it earlier in the day, perhaps then I would have seized it better. And not let it fall.
11 people found this helpfulReport abuse
lynnie09
5.0 out of 5 stars An inspiring readReviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 14 March 2012
Verified Purchase
This book is a must for anyone working with the dying and their families. Marie writes so compassionately and gently about her care for the dying. It is really inspiring and will hopefully give professionals and others an understanding of what the dying need and change the way we interact with them forever.
7 people found this helpfulReport abuse
Andrew
3.0 out of 5 stars bookReviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 1 November 2019
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book
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Philip
4.0 out of 5 stars A remarkable and moving bookReviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 20 December 2012
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Seize the Day is a remarkable and moving book about dying. Marie de Hennezel works in a palliative home and describes with great poignancy the emotions of the dying for whom she cares.
One person found this helpfulReport abuse
See all reviews
4.5 out of 5 stars 32 ratings
Customer reviews
4.5 out of 5 stars
Top reviews from other countries
bluebirdfp
5.0 out of 5 stars This is a fantastic bookReviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 27 May 2012
Verified Purchase
This book has changed my life. Maria de Hennezel has had the courage to confront the very thing we are most afraid of in the developed West - DEATH. And guess what? it's not so bad! She has talked to many people dying of AIDS and cancer, and found that what matters most is LOVE. People who know they are going to die soon feel blessed by the knowledge of the life they've led, the relationships they've had, and - hey ho - the curiosity of life on 'the other side'. She pulls no punches, it's a hard business, but I now know that if I was dying, I would know what was most important - to be near loved ones, to make peace with those from whom we have become estranged, and very importantly, to give and receive physical contact. This woman is very, very special. She admits that at times she is overwhelmed by sadness, but there is healing in crying, both for the sick and the helper. The greatest message she gives is: FACE IT! Denying death is what causes the greatest heartache. In her view, death is a kind of rebirth, a final way to make amends, to ensure a smooth passage into....whatever you believe comes next. (And you don't have to be religious). It seems on the surface a depressing subject but I have been so uplifted by it. We really need to change our attitude and stop trying to chase away the Grim Reaper. With the right mindset, he is not such a scary guy at all.
Read less
19 people found this helpfulReport abuse
ferret
4.0 out of 5 stars seize the dayReviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 8 April 2012
Verified Purchase
I bought this book probably for the same reason as many others, to see if I can condone myself in my care for a dying relative, or perhaps to help alleviate my own terror of death.
My choice was helped by the reviews I read, & I am glad her writing has found so much favour in so many. Alas, I find it a trifle arrogant & precocious: perhaps the author didn't mean it so, or perhaps it was the translation, I don't know. But, that apart I do believe it contains much help in how the living can support the dying in their final (should that be "final"....or first??) days, and I have learnt much from this book. On that alone I would reccommend it: like so many things, it will largely be determined by what you seek within this book.
I wish though I had read it earlier in the day, perhaps then I would have seized it better. And not let it fall.
11 people found this helpfulReport abuse
lynnie09
5.0 out of 5 stars An inspiring readReviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 14 March 2012
Verified Purchase
This book is a must for anyone working with the dying and their families. Marie writes so compassionately and gently about her care for the dying. It is really inspiring and will hopefully give professionals and others an understanding of what the dying need and change the way we interact with them forever.
7 people found this helpfulReport abuse
Andrew
3.0 out of 5 stars bookReviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 1 November 2019
Verified Purchase
book
Report abuse
Philip
4.0 out of 5 stars A remarkable and moving bookReviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 20 December 2012
Verified Purchase
Seize the Day is a remarkable and moving book about dying. Marie de Hennezel works in a palliative home and describes with great poignancy the emotions of the dying for whom she cares.
One person found this helpfulReport abuse
See all reviews
===
Intimate Death: How the Dying Teach Us How to Live
Marie de Hennezel
,
Carol Brown Janeway
(Translator)
4.23
394 ratings54 reviews
How do we learn to die? Most of us spend our lives avoiding that question, but this luminous book--a major best-seller in France--answers it with a directness and eloquence that are nothing less than transforming. As a psychologist in a hospital for the terminally ill in Paris, Marie de Hennezel has spent seven years tending to people who are relinquishing their hold on life.
She tells the stories of her patients and their families. de Hennezel teaches us how to turn death--our loved ones' or our own--from something lonely and agonizing into a sacred passage. She discusses the importance of an honest reckoning, the value of ritual, the necessity of touch. In imparting these lessons, Intimate Death becomes a guide to living more fully, more intensely, than we had thought possible.
"Unique...Of all the books I have read about the endings of our lives, this elegiac testimony has taught me the most."--Sherwin B. Nuland, M.D., author of How We Die
"The quiet, obvious truths [de Hennezel] discovers in her work--these things have a kind of cumulative power."--Washington Post Book World
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About the author
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Marie de Hennezel
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Marie Gaultier de la Ferrière dite Marie de Hennezel, est née le 5 août 1946 à Lyon, est une psychologue, psychothérapeute et auteur française. [http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marie_de...]
Marie de Hennezel may not be a household name in America, but in France she's a trailblazer. The therapist who helped the late French President Jacques Mitterand through the final stages of his cancer, she's been leading the crusade to help people grow old gracefully, with dignity, and with joy. De Hennezel, who believes that we become truly old when we refuse to age, is the author of many books, including the international bestseller Intimate Death. [Huffington Post]
Community Reviews
4.23
The Sporty Bookworm
261 reviews
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October 7, 2020
End of life book found in a box to read. Surprised by the rating of 4.6 on goodreads, I started reading it. It describes the experience of a psychologist in a palliative care center during the AIDS epidemic. These are therefore the end-of-life stories of many people: cancer patients, AIDS sufferers... This book is marshmallow full of good feelings. As if in this world, everyone is beautiful and everyone is nice. At the end of his life, we have nothing more to reproach ourselves with, we forgive everything... It looks like Marc Lévy in the hospital or else Martine is going to die. She also uses her proximity to François Mitterand to get a little boost. (wow how good is my service, the president comes to say hello, the president asks me for advice because
What do I take away from this book? That I'm going to die and I'm going to have to deal with it. Once the end has come, there is no solution other than to accept it because, well, we don't really have a choice. It's the kind of things I learned when my wife left or when I couldn't do the job I wanted and that bim, you have to do a food job and accept it. Death is like life, when it doesn't go the way you want, you have to grit your teeth and accept it. The Stoics and Marc Aurèle have already taught me that and I don't really need this book, which is full of good feelings to the point of being embarrassing.
The only thing I learned about the end of life, I learned at my grandmother's nursing home. As long as you are healthy, take advantage of your sense of taste to make good meals and savor them, the menus at the nursing home are worse than the canteen of the establishment where I work. As long as you have a body in good condition, go running, swimming, walking, kissing...because going out there doesn't sell dreams. As long as you can move around, go to the hammam, breathe the ocean air, walk in the forest, play with a dog, choose your vegetables at the market, drink tea in the sun and pick mushrooms...because past 88 and with Alzheimer's, life happens in front of the TV with nappies, old people who scream and smell of piss and there is nothing else to do but accept it.
Anyway, it's Wednesday. I have swimming pool, snack and pot-au-feu. And stop hanging out on goodreads when the weather is nice.
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Heather Smith
9 reviews
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October 22, 2014
This book was truly inspiring. It made me look at death in a way I never really had before. Sure, I was aware of the acceptance and peace people can leave life in, but this gave me a better understanding. The way Marie treats the people in her care, with such limitless patience and love, is a thing of beauty. She listens to each of them as if they are her family, her friends. She doesn't keep that sterile distance many doctors and nurses have to do to preserve their sanity. Marie isn't afraid for her heart to break over these people and their loved ones. I am in awe of the way she bravely eases them all into death as if it's not something horrible. As if it's just another step in life. Not something to be afraid of, to dread, and hide from.
2014
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Geraldine
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July 14, 2019
No comment except :read it. The death is a part of the life.
2019
trials
france
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Salome
21 reviews
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March 9, 2021
Extraordinary, a book that gives us a new vision of overwhelming death. Really touching and moving, I loved it
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sara
30 reviews
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June 27, 2016
This book is so inspiring and touching, It taught me how to just be there. How someone's presence can be all what you need sometimes without needing any words or physical connection. Reading this was a spiritual experience to me rather than just a book , it also led me to understand so many things and see things in another way. It's important to recognize how you should be present.
own
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Wan Ting
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June 10, 2018
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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CFC
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December 31, 2022
The book covers really interesting stories and examples of dying, but it bugged me that the stories came and went, and I couldn't remember who was who, who had parents, or partners. It got very confusing, and I lost a bit of enthusiasm.
Another thing I didn't like was the fact they kept referring to some homossexual partners as friends only when they very likely had been something deeper. I wasn't sure if this just wasn't discussed or if it wasn't something the author was comfortable with? When the relationships were heterosexual they were mentioned
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Ricard
334 reviews
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December 14, 2018
(3.5/5.0) Psychologist who recounts and exposes her arguments or ideas about what she thinks of death, not as digressions but through the accounts of those who accompanied her in her death.
She tells of an ancient time, with terminal AIDS and rapidly worsening cancers. Currently, perhaps we are still the same, but we have caused that there is no longer time for reflection, because we think that Medicine will save us from death...
library
medicine
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Haliza Ali
140 reviews
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February 13, 2022
Good read to ponder about death. We have to accept that death is part of living.
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Gabby
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August 19, 2021
As a nurse student that already was in the palliative care, this book helped me a lot understand death and how people may feel.
I've learned a lot while reading it and makes me love even more palliative care.
I think everyone should read it...
Death is not always ugly.
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