2025/03/30

Namgok Lee - 인연(因緣)의 불가사의(不可思議)함을 느낀다. 내가 60이 넘어 논어를 통해 공자를 만난 것도... | Facebook

Namgok Lee - 인연(因緣)의 불가사의(不可思議)함을 느낀다. 내가 60이 넘어 논어를 통해 공자를 만난 것도... | Facebook


Namgok Lee

인연(因緣)의 불가사의(不可思議)함을 느낀다.

내가 60이 넘어 논어를 통해 공자를 만난 것도 불가사의한 인연을 통해서였다. 공자를 만나기 전에 야마기시를 만났고, 야마기시를 만나기 전에 변혁 운동과 그  좌절을 만났고, 변혁 운동과 만나기 전에 불교(佛敎)를 만났다.
우연(偶然)의 연속처럼 보이지만, 지나고 보면 내 인생에 있어서 필연(必然)이었다는 생각이 든다.
요즘 내가 집중하는 일과(日課)도 그 연장선인 것 같다.
3월에 이어 4월에도 보성 향교에서 ‘공자 사상과 현대의 만남’이라는 주제로 강의를 한다.
내가 향교에서 공자 사상을 강의한다고 하는 것은 상상도 할 수 없는 일이었다.
박화강 선생의 보성 불이학당에서 논어를 10여 차례 강론한 것이 이번 강의로 이어지는 인연이다. 나는 인류의 정신적 자산의 하나이며 특히 동양 역사에서 오랜 세월 종교뿐 아니라 정치에서 중심적 역할을 한 공자 사상에서 인류의 존속 자체가 위협을 받고 있는 위기의 시대에 종교와 정치의 양면에서 그 위기를 넘어설 수 있는 자양분을 얻을 수 있다고 생각하는 사람이다. 공자 사상이 현대와 만나려면, 그 동안 역사를 침체시키는 역할을 했다는 평가를 받고 있는 유교로부터 해방하는 것이 중요하다. 그것이 유교를 현대에 살리는 것이다.
나는 내 인생의 경로를 통해서 논어와 공자를 만났다. 전통적인 방식의 학습을 전혀 거치지 않았다. 논어에 나오는 문장들을 그 구체적 역사 속에서 읽는 것이 아니라, 현대를 살아가는 지식인으로서 현실의 문제들를 타개하려는 절박한 심정으로 만났다. 따라서 허술하기 짝이 없다. 그러나 아마 체계적이고 전통적인 학습을 통했더라면 지금 내가 만나고 있는 공자를 만날 수는 없었을 것이다. 
요즘 논어 연찬을 집필하는 동안 이인우 선생이 매일 페북에 올려주는  시라카와 시즈카(白川靜) 선생의 공자전(孔子傳)을 읽는 것도 우연이 아니라 필연의 인연처럼 다가온다.
이인우 선생과의 인연이 먼저 있어서 가능한 일들이다. 
시라카와 선생은 일본의 석학이다. 그는 일본에서야말로 공자를 현대에 살릴 수 있다는 생각을 하는 것 같다.
사실 나는 왕초보이면서 어쩌면 그렇기 때문에 공자를 제대로 살릴 수 있는 나라가 한국이라는 생각을 해 왔다. 그런 생각들을 지금 집필하고 있는 ‘전환과 통합을 위해, 논어를 연찬하다’ 속에서 피력하고 있다.
일본이든 한국이든 중국이든 공자 사상을 현대와 만나게 하려는 노력은 사상 미증유의 문명전환기에 그 동력을 얻게 하는 소중하고 필수적인 작업이라고 생각한다.
오늘 마침 논어 제17 양화편을 기술하다가 시라카와 선생의 해석을 이인우 선생의 번역을 통해 소개한다.
공자와 양호(陽虎)는 둘 다 춘추 시대 노나라의 반체제(反體制) 인물이다. 둘 다 정치적으로 실패한 인물이다. 그러나 둘의 행로(行路)는 달랐다.
시라카와 선생의 해석은 여러 상상을 하게 한다.
21세기 이 엄중한 시대에 공자의 새로운 탄생을 그려보면서 읽어보시면 좋을 것 같다.
상당히 긴 글이지만, 참고로 하실 분들을 위해 올린다.
<<양화가 공자를 만나고 싶어 했지만 공자는 만나주지 않았다. 그러자 공자에게 삶은 돼지를 선물로 보냈다. 공자는 그가 없는 틈을 타서 그의 집에 사의를 표하러 갔다가 돌아오는 길에 그를 만났다. 양화가 공자에게 말했다.
“오시오, 내 선생께 할 말이 있소.. 자기의 보배를 품안에 감춰두고 나라를 어지럽게 하는 것을 인하다 하겠습니까? ”
공자 말하기를, “불가합니다”
“정치에 종사하기 좋아하면서도 자주 그 기회를 놓치는 것을 그것을 지혜롭다하겠습니까?”
“불가합니다”
“해와 달이 지나고 세월은 우리와 함께 머물러주지 않습니다”
“알겠습니다. 나도 장차 벼슬을 살려고 합니다.”
陽貨欲見孔子 孔子不見 歸孔子豚 孔子時其亡也而往拜之 遇諸塗 謂孔子曰 來予與爾言 曰 懷其寶而迷其邦可謂仁乎 曰 不可 好從事而亟失時可謂知乎 曰 不可 日月逝矣歲不我與 孔子曰 諾吾將仕矣(17/1)>>
- 양화라는 인물은 당시 노나라의 실권자였던 계씨 집안의 가신(家臣)이었던 양호(陽虎)입니다. 양호는 계씨 가문의 적장자인 계환자를 감금하는 등 그 자신이 권력을 쥐려는 야망을 가지고 공자의 협력을 구했고, 이에 대해 공자가 망설이면서도 완곡하게 거절하는 장면 같습니다.
- 당시의 예절을 이용한 공자와 양호의 숨박꼭질 놀이 같군요. 주인이 없을 때 선물을 하면 그 답례를 해야 하는 예법이 있었던 모양입니다. 그래서 양호가 그것을 활용했고, 공자가 자기가 없을 때 답례하러 올 것을 예상하고 길목을 지켰다가 공자를 설득하는 장면 같습니다.
- 양호도 큰 야망을 가진 상당한 인물로 보입니다. 당시의 현자로 이름이 난 공자를 초빙하려고 공자가 강조하는 인(仁)과 지(知)를 들어서  난세(亂世)를 바로잡기 위해 자신을 도와 출사(出仕)하라고 설득하는 장면입니다. 
- 공자도 아마 양호의 제안을 강하게 거부하지 않으면서, 그를 피했던 것을 보면 아마 망설임이 있었을 것 같습니다. 요즘 말로 옮겨보면 양호의 제안은 이런 내용 같습니다.
 ‘당신이 늘 인(仁)을 이야기하는데, 나라가 어지러운 이때에 당신이 품고 있는 뜻(寶)을 마음 속에 담아만 두고 난세를 방관하고 있다면 그것이 인(仁)이겠습니까? 또 당신은 은자(隱者)의 길을 가지 않고 현실에 참여하려는 사람인데 그 때를 자주 놓치는 것이 지혜롭다 하겠습니까? 세월이 우리를 기다리지 않습니다. 결단하십시오’
- 공자가 거부하기 힘든 논리를 구사하니까 부정하지 못하고 그러면서 그 자리를 회피하는 모습으로 보이는군요. ‘장차 출사를 고려해 보겠습니다’하며.
- 평소 계씨를 비롯한 삼환(三桓)의 국정 농단에 비판적이던 공자가 계씨 정권에 반기를 든 양호의 초대에 응하지 않았던 배경이나 이유가 뭘까요?
 양호의 반란이 진압될 것이라는 현실적 판단일까요? 아니면 계씨도 나쁘지만, 양호가 권력을 쥐면 그보다 더 나빠질 것이라는 정치적 판단일까요?
- 아마도 그 둘 다를 고려하지 않았을까요?
- 시대와 사회는 다르지만, 지금도 흔히 볼 수 있고, 부딪치는 그런 장면 아니겠습니까?
- 당신은 상당한 명망과 추종자가 있는 폴리페서(polifessor)인데, 만일 지금 권력을 쥔 쪽이나 권력을 쥘 가능성이 큰 쪽에서 평소 정치 참여를 통해서 난세를 극복하려는 뜻을 가진  당신에게 이런 제안이 들어온다면 어떤 기준이나 원칙을 가지고 그에 대응하겠습니까? 
- 시라카와 시즈카(白川靜)의 공자전(孔子傳)에 공자와 양호에 대한 심층적 해설이 나옵니다. 역사 속의 공자를 이해하는데 상당히 중요하다고 되어서 발췌 소개합니다. 
<< 공자는 무녀(巫女)의 자식이었다. 아비의 이름도 모르는 서생자(庶生子)였다. 니산(尼山)에 빌어 태어났다는 것도 일반적인 일은 아닐 것이다. 저 나사렛 사람처럼 신은 기꺼이 그런 자식을 선택한다. 공자는 선택된 사람이었다. 그렇기 때문에 세상에 나타날 때까지는 아무도 그의 전반생(前半生)을 모르는 게 당연하다. 신은 스스로를 맡겨온 자에게 깊은 고뇌와 번민을 안겨주어 그것을 자각시키려 한다. 그 자각을 얻은 자가 성자가 되는 것이다.
  공자는 일생 꿈꾸기를 계속했다. 꿈에 나타나는 것은 언제나 주공(周公)이었다. 은주(殷周) 혁명, 서주(西周)의 창업을 이룩한 이 성자는, 명보(明保)라 불린 주나라 최고의 성직자이며 또한 그 문화의 창조자였다. 동시에 이 성자는 또한, 비극의 성자이기도 했다. 공자는 만년의 어느 날 ‘심하구나, 나의 노쇠함이여. 오래구나, 내가 꿈에서 다시 주공을 뵙지 못함이’(술이편)라고 탄식하고 있다. 공자는 평생 주공을 꿈에서 보고 주공과의 대화를 계속하고 있었던 것이리라. 주공이 공자에게 한 말이 무엇이었는 지는 알 수 없다. ‘사문(斯文)을 잃지 말라’라는 것과 같은 명령형이었을 것이라고 생각한다. 그래서 공자는 안심하고 천명(天命)을 말할 수 있었던 것이다. 그렇지 않고서 천명을 말하는 행위는 모독이나 다름없다.
  공자에게는 또 하나의 환영(幻影)이 있었다. 그것은 다이몬으로 인식되었던 신의 소리가 아니라 현실의 인물로서 행동한다. 그러나 공자는 아마도 그 인물 속에서 다이몬과 같은 이상한 무언가의 그림자를 느끼고, 그를 두려워하고, 때로는 반발하고, 때로는 증오를 품고 있었다. 적어도 나에게는 그렇게 생각된다. 그것은 양호라는 남자였다. 양호는 <논어>와 <맹자>에 양화(陽貨)라는 이름으로 보이는 사나이다.
  <사기>에 의하면, 공자와 양호의 만남은 공자가 아직 17살도 되지 않은 때의 일이다. 계씨가 사(士)에게 향응을 베풀 때, 공자도 문학을 닦는 사람의 하나로 여기에 참가했다. 그런데 양호가 ‘계씨는 선비를 대접하는 것이지, 감히 그대를 향응하는게 아니다’라며 공자를 물러가게 했다. 이때의 공자는 아직 어머니의 상중에 있었기 때문이라는 것이 <사기>의 해석이다. ‘세가’ 속 출처를 알 수 없는 기사의 하나인데, 이것은 어쩌면 양호 계통 자료의 잔편(殘片)이 삽입된 것이 아닐까 생각된다.
  양호는 뛰어난 문사(文辭)의 소유자였다. 그것은 ‘양화편’ 첫장에 보이는 공자와의 문답에서도 잘 알 수 있다. 그는 또한 무사(巫史)의 학(學)에도 통해 있었다. <좌전>‘애공9년에는 그가 <주역>을 가지고 전쟁의 길흉을 점치는 기사가 있다. 공자학파의 손으로 이뤄진 문헌에 이와같은 기사가 있는 것은 왜인가. 그것은 필시, 양호도 또한 공자와 같이 사유(師儒)에서 나와, 시정(時政)의 개혁에 나서고, 문제(門弟)를 거느리고, 당시의 귀족정치에 도전했던 인물이었기 때문일 것이다. 아마도 그의 학파에 전해진 자료는 유학의 융성에 따라 소실된 것 같은데, 얼만인가는 유가(儒家)의 자료 속에 섞여 들어가 있는 것이다.
 양호는 공자보다 다소 연배가 위의 사람이었던 것 같다. 그는 일찍부터 계씨를 따랐지만 삼가(三家)의 전제정치에 강한 불만을 가지고 있었던 것 같다. 삼가를 누르고 자신의 전제 정권을 세운 것도 그에게는 혁명의 행동이었다. 공산불요도 그 때 양호와 한 동아리였다. 양호는 아마도 공자를 자신과 비슷한 생각을 하는 동지로 여기고 초빙하려고 했을 것이다. 그러나 공자는 그를 경원했다. 그래도 공산불요의 초빙에는 적극 응하려고 했다. 그들이 생각하고 있는 것은 아마도 비슷했을 것이다. 다만 공자는 양호를 거부했다. 양호가 전제에 성공하자, 공자는 곧바로 제나라로 망명해 고악(古樂) 연구 등을 하고 있다. 
  양호는 3년 후 실각했다. 삼환(三桓)이 단결해 자기 세력을 회복하려 했기 때문이다. 양호는 노나라 임금의 권위를 상징하는 보옥대궁을 훔쳐 제나라로 망명했다. 상징이 있는 곳에 군권(君權)의 정통성이 있다는 생각이리라. 제나라에서도 그는 문하(門下)를 임금 쪽에 붙이고 상당한 세력을 구축했다. 양호가 제나라로 망명해 오자 이번에는 공자가 서둘러 귀국하고 있다. 그 후, 협곡의 회담으로 제·노 양국관계가 개선되었다. 제나라는 더 이상 양호를 머물게 내버려둘 수 없어 그를 잡으려 했으나, 양호는 용케 망명해 송나라로 달아났다가 진(晋)으로 가 조간자(趙簡子) 밑으로 들어간다. 양호가 멀리 가버린 뒤에는 공자의 세상이다. 자로가 계씨의 재(宰; 가신의 우두머리)가 되고, 공자도 노나라 국정에 참여했다. 그러나 공자의 삼환(三桓) 억제책도, 양호와 근본적으로는 다를 게 없었다. 공자는 자로를 시켜 삼환의 사읍을 무장해제시키려 한다. 처음에는 순조로왔지만 결국 실패하고 공자도 양호와 같은 운명을 맞았다. 그러나 이번에는 제나라로 갈 수 없다. 그래서 연고를 찾아 위나라로 갔다.
   위나라에서는 상당한 대우도 받았고 제자들도 각각 벼슬살이를 했던 것 같다. 그러나 공자가 정치에 참여하는 것은 허용되지 않았다. 아무튼, 그럭저럭 지내기로는 그리 나쁘지는 않았을 것이다. 그런데 여기서도 그는 환영에 시달린다. 애공2년(전493) 후원자였던 위영공이 죽자, 진나라가 그동안 송나라에 망명해 있던 태자를 위나라에 입국시켰다. 주모자는 조씨(조간자), 태자를 받들고 위나라 잠입에 성공한 사람은 진나라에 망명해 있던 양호였다. 환영은 바로 눈앞에 나타났다. 공자는 서둘러 다시 남방의 진(陳)나라로 간다. 가는 길에 광땅에서 포위를 당하고, 송나라에서는 환퇴의 습격을 받는다. 제자들에게도 불안한 안색이 농후하다. 
  이 절망적인 분위기 속에서 공자는 주공의 목소리를 듣고 있다. ‘하늘이 아직 사문을 없애려 하지 않으시는데, 광인 따위가 나를 어찌하겠는가’ ‘하늘이 덕을 나에게 주셨다. 환퇴가 감히 나를 어찌하랴’. 몰래 쫓아오는 환영에 떠는 공자는 주공의 목소리에서 생기를 되찾는다. ‘양화편’에는, 양화와 공산불요의 이야기와 함께 불힐(佛肹)의 이야기가 수록돼 있다. 불힐은 중모(中牟)라는 진나라 도시의 재(宰).  그 땅을 거점으로 진나라에 반기를 들려고 할 때 공자를 초빙한다. 자로는 이때도 강경하게 반대한다. ‘불힐, 중모로써 반란하려 합니다. 선생님, 왜 가시려 하십니까’라는 강한 어조로 반대한다. 공자는 이에 대해, ‘참으로 굳센 것은 갈아도 닳지 않는다. 진실로 흰 것은 물들여도 검어지지 않는다’며, ‘나 어찌 저 박이겠느냐. 마냥 한 곳에 매달려 사람들이 따먹지 못하게 하겠느냐‘라는, 공자에게 어울리지 않는 말투를 하고 있다. 무언가 집착하고 있는 듯한 어기(語氣)이다. 불힐의 반란은, 아마 <좌전>에 기록된 애공5년(전490) 조앙(趙駚)이 위나라를 치려고 중모를 포위했을 때의 일인 것 같다. 중모는 본래 위나라 땅으로, 이때 그 귀속을 놓고 진(晋)나라와 위(衛)나라 간에 문제가 생긴 것으로 보인다. 공자는 벌써 위나라를 떠나 진나라에 가 있었다. 아마도 그곳으로 불힐의 초빙장이 날아왔을 것이다. 양화는 어떻게 하고 있는가. 진나라와 위나라의 사이가 좋지 않은 상황이라면 조씨에게 돌아가 있었을 것이다. 그렇게 환영은 떨어져 있다. 이제 그 환영에 한 방 먹이고 싶다. 공자의 마음 속은 반발심과 증오로 들끓고 있다. 저 공자답지 않은 말투가 사실이라고 한다면, 나는 역시 그 환영을 향한 말이었다고 해석하고 싶다. 환영에 대해 한 말이므로 이것은 당연히 실현되지 않았다.
 공자는 다시 남쪽 초나라로 간다. 여기서는 환영은 나타나지 않았다. 그러나 환영이 없는 곳에는 긴장도 없었다. 공자는 뒷날의 반란자인 백공(白公)등의 무리에게 다소의 영향을 남기고 떠났다. 공자와 의견이 맞지 않았던 섭공(葉公)이 그 백공의 난을 평정하고 있다.
  모든 희망을 잃고, 공자는 다시 진(陳)으로 돌아왔다. 이미 70에 가까운 공자에게 더 이상의 방황은 무리였고, 불가능하기까지 했다. 노나라에서는 제자 염구와 유약이 스승의 귀국 공작을 계속 벌이고 있었다. 공자 추방을 주도했던 계환자도 이미 죽고(전492), 염구도 실권자 계씨의 재가 되어 있다. 계씨에게 공자 복국(復國)의 양해가 떨어지자, 사자가 공자를 향해 서둘러 떠났다. 고사(高師)를 앙망하는 젊은 학도와 광간(狂簡;뜻이 크고 진취적인 사람)의 움직임도 보고되었다. 공자는 귀국을 결심한다.
  공자는 위나라로 돌아갔다. <사기>에 의하면, 공자는 불힐의 반란을 도우려한 뒤에는 조간자와 만나기 위해 황하(黃河)까지 갔다가 2명의 현인이 살해되었다는 이야기를 듣고 그 희망을 버렸다고 한다. 그러나 생각하면 그것은 있을 수 없는 일이다. 조간자는 양호의 주인이 아니던가. 양호는 애공9년(전486)에는 아직 건재해 있었다. 만약 공자가 황하가에 갔다면, 그것은 이 귀국길의 일이었을 것이다. 공자는 처음에는 晋나라에 갈 희망을 품었던 듯 하다. 그러나 양호가 그곳에 망명해 있었기 때문에 그것을 실행에 옮기지 않은 것이다. 그리고 이제는 양호도 아마 죽었을 것이다. 귀국이 결정되지 않았다면, 공자는 이 황하의 물결을 건너갔을 지 모른다. 그러나 귀국하기로 한 지금, 그 기회는 이미 사라졌다. 공자는 황하의 물가에 서서 탄식했다고 한다.
    아름답구나 강물이여, 양양하구나. 구(丘), 이를 건너지 못하는 것은, 천명(天命)이런가.
  공자는 여기서 마침내 환영과 결별한다. 그것은 하늘의 명이었다. <논어>에 ’선생님, 강가에 서서 말씀하기를, 흘러 가는 것이 저와 같구나, 낮밤을 가리지 않는구나‘(자한편)라는 구절이 있다. 아마도 이때의 이야기일 것이다.
  귀국하고 나서의 공자는 더는 환영에 시달리는 일은 없었다. 동시에, 주공을 꿈에서 보는 일도 없어졌다. 그러나 환영은 과연 양호의 환영이었을까. 환영은 자신에게만 보이는 것이다. 그것은 양호를 매개로 한 자기 자신의 그림자는 아니었을까. 자기의 이상태(理想態)에 대한 부정태(否定態)로서의 타락한 모습을 공자는 양호에게서 보고 있었던 게 아닐까. 공자는 항상 주공을 꿈에서 보고 있었기에, 이상태를 향한 희구(希求)를 버리지 않았다. 그것이 공자의 구원이었다. 처음의 망명 이래 22년간, 공자는 하나의 목소리와 하나의 그림자 속에 살았다. 그 목소리와 그림자 어느 쪽이든, 공자 자신이 만들어낸 것이다.
  사람은 누구라도 모두, 그러한 소리를 듣고 그림자를 보며 산다. 그것이 무엇인가를 확실히 자각하는 사람은 드물다. 그런 뜻에서, 공자나 소크라테스같은 사람은 희귀한 인격이었다. 위대한 인격이었다. 그리고 그 점에 주의하지 않는다면, 우리는 이 위대한 인격의 생애를 꿰뚫는 리듬을 파악하기 어려울 것이다. 공자의 망명 생활, 따라서 그 생애의 주요한 부분에는 긴장된 아름다운 리듬이 흐르고 있다. ‘너희들은 나에게 숨기는 게 있는가. 나는 그대들에게 숨기는 것이 없다. 나의 행한 일, 너희들과 함께 하지 않은 것이 없나니. 이것이 구(丘)이니라’(술이편)라고 공자 스스로 말하고 있음에도, 공자의 주위에는 일종의 신비주의가 떠돈다. 제자들이 ‘숨긴다’고 느낀 것은, 아마도 그 아름다운 리듬을 움직이고 있는 무언가를 감지했다는 뜻이리라. 나도 공자의 생애 속에서 그와 같은 리듬의 흐름을 느끼고 있는 것이다.>>




"As I turn 89, I’m sitting alone in a... - The meaning of life | Facebook

 "As I turn 89, I’m sitting alone in a... - The meaning of life | Facebook


The meaning of life


"As I turn 89, I’m sitting alone in a retirement home with a plate of ravioli in front of me. I don’t know who made them, and I don’t know if anyone will remember my birthday.
I have three children. I haven’t seen them in a long time. They brought me here, saying it was for my own good, but as the days pass, the phone stays silent. No calls, no visits.
I’m not angry—just sad. Sad because, no matter how much time has gone by, I never stopped loving them. Sad because I don’t ask for much—just a hug, a kind word, a simple “Happy Birthday, Dad.”
I just wish someone would remember me.
At my age, you live on memories and hope. And today, my hope is that this message reaches those who have forgotten the importance of love and family—before it’s too late."

To all the fathers and grandfathers left alone, you are loved—even if sometimes, no one says it. 










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Sejin Pak
Cannot find the 1st comment.
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Sue Jones
Happy birthday ( I didn’t’ see your name on what you put on Facebook)
I am so sorry this happened to you. Happy birthday and if I lived near you, I would come to say hello.
If my mom or dad were alive and in a nursing home, I would be over there as much as possible until they weren’t here anymore I think this is the saddest thing I’ve ever seen that children would put their parent in a nursing home and leave them. God bless you, sir and I hope you have more birthdays to come.
Sincerely,
Sue
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250
Author
The meaning of life
Check above, sorry
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Sharon Ogburn
Sue Jones yes it does happen. My Mom in a nursing home over 4 yrs till called home to Jesus. The nurses told my husband and I most of patients get visits from family usually rarely. Others all by their selves no visits from any family or friends ds. Nurse says why so you make the trip out in the country nearly every day except if sick? My husband said I was in the service over 20 yrs. Getting home to visit Between new assignments. I wanted my wife to spend time with her Mom as I didn.t get to do much. Later my Mom in same nursing home and by then we lives way north in Maine.long ways. She passed before he knew It. So He would make the trip so mother and daughter could be together for a meal or a chat stay for a hour or more. Got to bring our small dog and boy she perked up. She loved that doggie 😍. She was prone to depression missing her adult children. The others on west coast. So the visits really made her feel better I think. I Thank my Dear late husband for insight to this loneliness All because he never got to spend quality time with his Mom because of distance like Japan etc. As he wanted me to spend time with her. What a difference in her attitude!
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The meaning of life
1st comment has details
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Elizabeth Reed
My son keeps in touch with me every week.. He lives in Virginia..My daughter lives nearby but hardly calls or visits!! I'm thankful my son treats me very well!!
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3
Elaine Zanavich
Sue Jones This is so heartbreaking, iam crying over this. I hope i will not find myself in this situation
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13
Debra Hudson
Happy Birthday
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Roger Ssmall
the same happened to my brother only one goes there every day his sons don’t
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Ann Carstens
Sue Jones very common. I was activities professional would keep residents busy.
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2
Rosalia Calicaran
Happy,birthday sir
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Gillian Sunderland
Sue Jones that would be great Sue
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Ruby Taylor Leech
Sue Jones I feel the same way.
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3
Kathy N Kent
Happy Birthday sir. So sorry this has happened to you. U our kids as aught t p be ashamed of themselves.
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Ann Carstens
Sue Jones I took a resident fishing with my boys and I. He just enjoyed watching from the car as he was table to walk to where kids were
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2
Emyrus
Sue Jones can you meesege me prevetly
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Dena Rivett
Sue Jones I was always visiting my mom in the nursing home, I took her for a massage once a month, to her appointments, to get her hair done and took her out for lunch or dinner.
Some children are so cruel it us unbelievable 💔 and makes me angry 😠
Judy Renshaw
I would love to know you name and talk
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Debra Hudson
Sue Jones unfortunately that happens so much. It's very sad
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Christin black
Sue Jones Happy birthday ( I didn’t’ see your name on what you put on Facebook)
I am so sorry this happened to you. Happy birthday and if I lived near you, I would come to say hello.
If my mom or dad were alive and in a nursing home, I would be over there as much as possible until they weren’t here anymore I think this is the saddest thing I’ve ever seen that children would put their parent in a nursing home and leave them. God bless you, sir and I hope you have more birthdays to come.
Sincerely,
Sue
Tamia Harley
Sue Jones It sounds like his children are ungrateful and self absorbed.
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Tinaimisa Nute
Sue JonesSue Jones thank you so much madam you're so true madam..wish my mom n dad are still here with me .I can't even take them there..because..THEY ARE SO IMPORTANT FOR ME....we as a children we should take good care of them..and pay them back♥️♥️♥️
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Ernestine Willis
Sue Jones it is a sad and horrible thing that children are doing nowadays. What is right is wrong and what is wrong is right. It is disgusting. He seems like such a nice man.
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Simon Clark
Sue Jones it's fake, you are all being made a fool of by the pages that posted the picture of the old man, an entertainment pages posted that picture to play with all your emotions and get the comments for ratings, it's called a bait picture
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Sue Lynn
Simon Clark I'm glad I saw this as he asked me to request him for a friendship! Who is doing this then? It's scarey xx
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Ellen Oney
God loves u. 💘 HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🎂🥳
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Susan Wallace
Sue Jones I would visit him also. It is sad & maybe they have their reasons, but he is their father & at his age they need to make peace before it's to late. ✝️
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Naomi Kuipers Schulze
Sue Jones I am sure he does not want another lonely birthday. I certainly would not
Tom Mulvihill
Sue Jones On your next vacation, find his address and go visit him.
James brown
Sue Jones Hello pleased to meet you.
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Peng Wan
Sue Jones hey can we be friends
Arlene Salcido
Sue Jones l worked in a nursing.home many are forgotten
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Elizabeth Bullard
Sue Jones me too mine are gone
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Christin black
Sue Jones Happy birthday ( I didn’t’ see your name on what you put on Facebook)
I am so sorry this happened to you. Happy birthday and if I lived near you, I would come to say hello.
If my mom or dad were alive and in a nursing home, I would be over there as much as possible until they weren’t here anymore I think this is the saddest thing I’ve ever seen that children would put their parent in a nursing home and leave them. God bless you, sir and I hope you have more birthdays to come.
Sincerely,
Sue
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Jeanette Labuschagne
Happy B/day my friend. I hope and pray for a miracle for you.
How can you leave your mom or dad just like that on their own. When you was children we as parents were always be ther for you. Now not even half an hour sjoe this makes me so angry. Thank God for my 2 sons.
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Carly Piso
Happy birthday many more I'm so sorry you're sad how could your children do this to you but I bet you they took your money and everything valuable that you own shame on them 😡 get what's coming to them abandoning their father no conscience yuck you stay strong I wish I could come visit you sad 😥
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67
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The meaning of life
Look at the pinned comment
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Sandra Curtis
Carly Piso I told my children what I was going to do. They ask why? My answer was, I want to live close to people my age. Where I have transportation everywhere I need to go at no charge for trip. I truly love it.😍
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Stacy Seldin
Carly Piso It is also possible that he was an abusive parent. He was not always old and feeble. You did not know him when he was younger and stronger. I am not saying that he was a child abuser. But his children may have good reason for avoiding him.
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Christin black
Happy birthday ( I didn’t’ see your name on what you put on Facebook)
I am so sorry this happened to you. Happy birthday and if I lived near you, I would come to say hello.
If my mom or dad were alive and in a nursing home, I would be over there as much as possible until they weren’t here anymore I think this is the saddest thing I’ve ever seen that children would put their parent in a nursing home and leave them. God bless you, sir and I hope you have more birthdays to come.
Sincerely,
Sue
Nancy Summa
Carly Piso my siblings did this very thing to my mother ! I just lost my Mom last month at the age of 99 years. My siblings ran off with all of her money and left nothing for me her only care taker her daughter ! I got nothing for it neither ! I pray every day that KARMA will get them all ! Every one of them !
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Simon Clark
Carly Piso it's fake, you are all being made a fool of by the page that posted the picture of the old man, an entertainment page posted that picture to play with all your emotions and get the comments for ratings, it's called a bait picture
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Arthur Brame
Carly Piso Those children will regret what they have done Time will catch up with them when they get older!!
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Tammy Bowen
Carly Piso Do you know his children then how do you know that Maybe he was hard to take care of I take care of my mom but it's not Easy I Don't Drive and live on $900 a month Which is nothing If she Get bed ridden and I can't take care of her She'll go… 
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Missy Knox
Carly Piso you straight away assume his family has robbed him and locked him away! They are probably struggling like crazy with kids in school, health issues , can't meet cost of living expenses. You don't know the family at all and start accusing the… 
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Terrie Stewart
Carly Piso really, you don’t throw a dog away, and , we can also forgive. Almost !!!! Everything
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Joan Consolmagno
Happy Birthday! Best Wishes! Think good thoughts, keep active, enjoy even the little things. You have been blessed with a long life. Don't dwell on the negative! Keep a smile on your face and enjoy the people and activities around you. A smile can be magnetic! Live in the moment! Some things we can't control; however, our attitude towards things is something that we can control. Don't let anyone or anything spoil your joy! ❤
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Elaine George
Happy Birthday Sir. l hope and pray you hear from your family. Kidd how could you do that to your dad!! God remember you snd your special day.🥰💕💕
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The meaning of life
Sorry! 1st comment helps
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Savvy Garcia
Elaine George maybe he was not a good parent and did bad things there are two sides to every story
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1 reply
9h
Dean Lewis music wide
Elaine George I am the Dean lewis how long have you been listening to my music🎧🎶🎶🎶🎸🎸🎸🎸🎷🎺🎹🎹🎤🎙️
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Mavis Thompson
Elaine George terrible kids you William for this big time
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Eric Kowalsky
Elaine George This Photo isn't Real.
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Hasan Guiteng
Happy birthday sir. I know you have done morethan enough good deeds to your family and those good deeds are likewise morethan enough to relieve your sorrows and make you feel happy. I believe that your children do still love you and have not forgotten you, but perhaps that they are just very busy working hard for their family as what you did for them. So cheer up, after all, they have made you as their model in taking care also of their respective family. So, that shows that they do love you still!
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The meaning of life
It’s in 1st comment
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Emyrus
Hasan Guiteng can you meesege me prevetly
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Pat Casey
Hasan Guiteng u r CORRECT!
I 100% AGREE W YOU 👍🏼
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Simon Clark
Hasan Guiteng it's fake, you are all being made a fool of by the page that posted the picture of the old man, an entertainment page posted that picture to play with all your emotions and get the comments for ratings, it's called a bait picture
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Patricia Hill
Hasan Guiteng you said all the right things. God bless you.🩷🩷🩷
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Linda Payton
I’m afraid this seems a common fact these days how very sad . Let’s hope one day if it happens to them they will have regrets and feel deep sadness at the way they treated their Father . We can have lots of brothers sisters husbands wives etc but you o… 
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Hacker Girl Love, girl holding heart sticker
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1st comment has details
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FredaIan Robertson
Linda Payton That's sol.m true,Short memoriesHappy Birthday you are so right. Family is everything
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Dean Lewis music wide
Linda Payton I am the Dean lewis how long have you been listening to my music🎧🎶🎶🎶🎸🎸🎸🎸🎷🎺🎹🎹🎤🎙️
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Curt Siegel
Linda Payton it’s made up story. Not true
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TESLA SPACE X
Linda Payton candly massage me privately
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Arletha Smith
I'm 😞 sorry! I work at an alzheimer's dementia home, I see a lot of this. That's why I always try to give our residents a kind word, a smile. And most of all great big hug 🫂
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The meaning of life
Apologies, check 1st comment
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Dom Dalmino
That's real nice of you...I wish all workers are like you
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Gliceria Lagaras
H!! GOD bless you throughout the coming years & ** HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU..WE are the same situation am 80 yrs old living alone in my little home idid all my daily chores everyday.My 4kids are all married they are very busy of there families,no time to… 
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George Stringam
I kept up appearances with my folks right up to the end and wish I could've done more. However, there were some people who were very close to me whom I wish I could've seen more. It was almost to the end before I was able to see them. I was going throu… 
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Prince page
An Igbo engineer can't find a job so
he opens a clinic and puts a sign
outside… 
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Brenda Drake
I just turned 82 and I understand how you are feeling. I am fortunate to be living with my son and wife right now but health is slowly fading so I know I will be put into a health facility before that long. I have 3 daughters but they live away so do… 
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Peggy Neumann
Wishing you a very Happy Birthday!! Wishing you a wonderful day, many blessings.. I hope your children wake up and come help you celebrate this special day iof yours. As I have always said, if they have children, they are teaching there children hiow t… 
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The Final Chapter: My Fight Till The End. Christopher' Hospice Story.
Sir, I Don't Know You. Happy Birthday Dad. I've Lost My Folks Some Time Ago. I Still Celebrate Their Birthdays. I Have about A Year Or So To Live, I Couldn't Bare This If My Family Wasn't Here To Be With Me In My Finial Days. I Don't Understand Why Thi… 
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Dave Pegg
The Final Chapter: My Fight Till The End. Christopher' Hospice Story. I wish you all the best for that fial year and more hope you haveall the support and love that you need 👍🙋🤞
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Lori Neese
And that is very true my mom in a nursing home I go and see her twice a week there is a lot in there don’t even get a year visit if you put your love one in there go see them and spend time with them truly that is all they want they don’t care about m… 
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Reyna Manansala
Happy going to memory lanes .. with your beloved sons and other love ones.. "Love, honestly given is never waisted" Keep it alive
in your heart.. every moment spent with Joy, rejuvenates the soul. Hold on to it until you see them again in your next journey to God's Cathedral.
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Jo E. DeBella
BTW HAPPY BIRTHDAY.. THE NEXT BIRTHDAY IS A BIGGIE.. 90 IS A MILESTONE. TELL THEM YOU WANT A SPECIAL DINNE CLOSE FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND YOU'LL PAY FOR IT !!!
Avatar is smiling with their mouth open and their head tilted to the side, their hands are up in front of them and making a heart shape with their fingers.
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The meaning of life
See the first comment!
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Apostleship Of Prayer , Diocese Of Novaliches
Happy, happy birthday to you Sir! God knows what you're feeling right now. Just entrust to our Lord everything that pains you, someday your kids will realize how valuable parents are and soon they'll experience what you're experiencing now. God bless you🙏♥️🙏
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The meaning of life
See my 1st reply
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Candice Sloan
Happy birthday to you! My heart is breaking at how sad you look. I wish I had my father still around. Your kids are blessed to still have you. How pitiful and selfish are they.
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7
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The meaning of life
Check above, sorry
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Jeanne Rolph
Candice Slo
an
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Nargis Paroo
I am so sorry and hope and pray at least one of your children will remember. However here’s wishing you a very happy and healthy birthday. Enjoy the oriole in your retirement home. 💕xoxox🙏
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Look at the pinned comment
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Stacey Puelzt
My heart acts..I would give anything to have had more time with my Parents.they both died 50 n51.i miss them everyday
I have my Prayers
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The meaning of life
hi Stacey Puelzt, Let’s keep this fun
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Maria Guimaraes
Remember life is a gift . Happy birthday:))
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Carolina Enriquez
So sad💔 that’s why I took care of my Mama till her last breath💔😢
Avatar is looking concerned, their close their eyes and furrow their brown and frown.
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The meaning of life
Check the top comment
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Joem Segovia
Carolina Enriquez that is so good of you to do that 👍❤️
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Paula Nichols
Carolina Enriquez I understand that. I didn't dote on my mom.she had a strength about her, I always hung onto. But life gets you older and sometimes a little misplaced.I know now that I would have spent more days with her., and urged hard to give her things to see a beauteful. Smile. I trued to call her as much as I could, and sit with her on the porch. My mother out of al she gave me as a child as a teenager surpasses anything here on earth. She said were going to church, so every Sunday bible class and sermon and prayers. And my journey into this life has given me a strength as well. O do know who Jesus is, in fact i don't know anything much. But I believe, and I was given this peace at 5. I am human , a struggling believer in God Jesus and the holy spirit. We sometimes grow away from the church that God made you see. But we are Gods Children Eben of we accept it or not. My dad was a loving father. And in his more quiet way to faith was also filled with good times, laughter, compassion. I use to hear the phone ring late at night or early hours, and it was a call from Missouri where his family lived. And I knew iny heart it was because someone he loved, someone he knew had passed. Then I also knew when he would hang up the phone. And cry. I tried to comfort NY a hug
Maria Barela
Happy birthday God loves you and your children may not say it very often but I'm sure they love you too I wish I had my dad still and my mom but they are in heaven with the Lord now and I know he's taking care of them so I don't worry about them now bu… 
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hi Maria Barela, Let’s interact more
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Inman Jo
Maria Barela I admire the beauty of God's creatures when I see one and you are of such kind. I was captivated by your picture. You have an amazing profile and I was compelled to write to you. Sorry if you are married.
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Abergavenny Astronomy Society
Happy birthday 🥳 🎉wishing you a good day and hope your children realise what they are missing. I know exactly how you feel 🥲it’s so sad.
Get out meet new folks - join new social groups- book club/card games/chess games etc joy your time life is sweet🤗🤗👍
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The meaning of life
See 1st comment!
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Author
The meaning of life
hi , Talk to us more
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Teri Lynn Winegar
I'm so very sorry 😞 But I do wish you a Happy Birthday 🎂 🥳 🎉 and 💓 just know there are people out here that are saying a prayer for you today. And God has a plan for you 🙏 And maybe he will grant you a miracle where they start showing up again for you. Please enjoy your special day and know you're special 💗
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Check above, sorry
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Pat Blake
How very sad. Happy Birthday. May God Bless you with joy and love and peace. I wish I could visit you so you won't be so lonely. I'll pray that your children visit you. God Bless. 🙏🙏🎂♥️
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Sorry! 1st comment helps
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Patricia Reinertsen Smith
Happy 89th Birthday. Hope your children and grandchildren remember before it’s too late. I have two grandchildren who have forgotten how much I love them to, they have forgotten how close we were when they were young when they use to come over and all … 
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Maureen Russo
Happy birthday we wish you the very best things are so different now as they us children don't have the love as we did growing up lost my mom to demention 6 years only me my husband my sister her son an my brother were they for her I don't understand … 
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Linda Powell Grinter
Happy birthday know how you feel
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𝐸𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑎.𝑀𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑧
Happy birthday Sir, I can relate how you feel sir because I’m also in your situations i have 5 children,I’m living here in the Philippines but they are in other parts of the world taking my meal 3 times a day alone all the time, there are times I can’t… 
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Marilia Rodrigues
Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you sir. Remember how special you are. God made you one of kind with a beautiful heart and soul. Sending you a big hug...
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7h
Ginger Martinez
Happy birthday, so sad how some family members put their loved ones in a nursing home and forget about them. Seen it all to often in the 14 years as a CNA
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Tony Zeolla
You are loved! I’m sure you are not forgotten. Life takes over and we don’t always get to do everything we want to do in a day. I’m sure your kids have not forgotten you. Sometime they may just surprise you and show how much they really do love you. It… 
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4h
Tami Augustine
I'm so sorry sir...Happy Birthday to you...and for your Kids how could you do that to your Dad...🎂🎂
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Anna Means
U are loved. Especially on Facebook. I know how you feel. Please always remember you are not alone. We are all connected, even though most don't know it. Start looking into Buddhism. It's not a religion but rather a way of life and will help you. Trust me.
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Veron J. Javines
Happy Birthday to you.I do hope that your children remember you,visit you....I don't understand why some children are like that,you don't know what you are missing.surely you will will have your regret the day your parents are no more.
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Louise Cheslin
I'm wishing you a happy birthday, 🎉🎈🎊🥰😘I wish my dad was hear with me, I'd never leave you if you were my dad, they don't know how lucky they are 😢 big hugs to you 🫂 🤗 , my dad would of been your age now, ❤️ x
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1h
Livs Rat
So true children forgot how parents did so much for them.
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Angela's ink
"What's Your Way of Expressing Emotions: Anger, Silence, or Violence?":
---… 
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Christiana Alalade
Parents if when your children were small you never has or give give them quality time,to discuss know what their think especially how they feel.It always you and your work and your life .this what is going to happen to you because i dont believe child… 
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4h
Wanda A Cascio
God bless you and have a Happy Birthday. I wish your children would show up for your birthday. I miss my parents more and more every year. I loved them so much. I can't believe your children. It is an honor to have parents and visit and love them.
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Dawn Flynn
I’m with you, a lot younger but always lonely, a victim of DV, raised two children who never wanted for anything (me, 3 jobs) I am now a great grandmother but always looking back but trying to be thankful for what I have rather than not. Hang on, I fin… 
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Heather Stevens
I know how u feel it dont take much for ur children to come and see u Happy Birthday♥️♥️
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Arlenebenigian
Yes, I left my parents too and was not able to visit them while they were still in good shape. I called them a few times but they were having trouble understanding me through Skype before. I ended up talking to my sister instead of them.
Now I’m in my … 
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Luxurious Car's & Mansions
This is how they are thanking parents who sent them to universities
Don't you know the wheel of life is turning?
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Page to see photos
How are you even typing a note for your post if you are 89
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Michael Doran
A sad story, hope his relatives read it and reflect. 💕😀🙏👍
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Wendy Boardman
How sad is that.
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6h
Innocent good
How are you
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Laurel Bacarella
Sorry, there must have been a story for this to happen. Sorry for those who have relatives suggested in this post , but, family just don’t give up like that.
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8h
Angel Dhital
God sometimes chooses to keep us lonely so that we remember it because god is our ultimate goal that we can’t realize but god never forgets how important we are for it/ God
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Deb Penza
Sending big hugs and a Happy birthday 🎂. I will never understand why some
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Carolyn Brentlinger
So sad to read your story. It is so heartbreaking that children treat their loved ones like this. I wish I lived near you I would come to visit you often. I'm in my 80's and sympathize with you and do understand your heartbreak. I would also take you o… 
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18m
Chong Marquez
How sad is that. Happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday dear friend happy birthday to youuuuuu.
Enjoy your days.
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Susan Gascoyne
Don't feel sad enjoy life the best you can l know how it feels to be alone just lost my husband and son both past away few weeks ago but l have my life to live alone now we only have one life enjoy it why bother about those that have put you there you … 
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8h
Theresa Flint
Happy Birthday to YOU!!! And, no, you are not alone. This happens so much and I am pretty sure that a good amount of the children who seem to do this kind of thing, don't really mean to or want to do it to just be mean. Or just don't care. I'm not… 
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Anne Kolejka
Shame on his children, how could they do that to their own father, it’s heartbreaking, God bless you sir, hope one of them will come and visit with you🙏🥲
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Fatima Freitas
Please people ,listen to this gentleman, especially his children how sad,not even hid BD!? From my side, I wish you and send you a big wish and big hug 🫂
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Wanda Seale
Happy Birthday and (((Hugs))) to you ! I'll be 84 my next Birthday . If my Childen don't call me l call them soo if you have their number call and say I'm still here and l love you ♡
Avatar is looking straight, right hand stretched, making a heart symbol with their index and thumb fingers and holding a heart.
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Elice Matshall
You have my prayers and attention! Our children mean well but do not comprehend how this move undermines our dignity! Enjoy the fact that you are celebrating another birthday and find happiness’ in those around you.
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4h
Arcey Edwards
Happy 89th Birthday! 🎉🥳I know how you feel! I am experiencing kind of the same thing. Loneliness is a killer if you let it. You have to connect with others and find comfort in Jesus! 🙏🏾💜
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Veronica Wilson
No matter how old our children get, they will never accept that they are our babies. My 4 are so very different, which makes me wonder......how did I raise them so different? Was it me, or their father? Did I pay more attention to one, more than anothe… 
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Kathryn Ruberti
So sad. How could your children/family be doing this to you. How soon they forget. I so miss my parents & now my husband.
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Adora Bersonda Rivera
Happy Birthday!
Hope that your children remember your birthday and that they realise how sad you feel.
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Marivie Dumlao
Happened birthday my dear .
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Lorraine Porcelli Maltzman
Such a true to life story !! But remember there is always karma !!! Happy Birthday their day will come !!!
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Bev Byers
Happy Birthday (Dad). Hopefully your children will realise one day when they reach your age how lonely your life was.
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Donna Hernandez
I’m so sorry . I know how you feel . My kids have no loyalty at all . I’m completely alone in this world except for a cousin. I have lots of pity parties.
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36
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13 replies
Billiejean Capps
I worked in a nursing home for a little bit of time. I can't tell you some of the things I saw. CNA'S not doing their job!!!!! Or how many elder I saw just sitting, no one coming to see them.. Talk about break my heart !!!!!!! It's the elder and c… 
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