2020/10/08

Becoming Mrs. Lewis

 Becoming Mrs. Lewis: The Improbable Love Story of Joy Davidman and C. S. Lewis Hardcover – October 2, 2018

by Patti Callahan (Author)

4.5 out of 5 stars    1,368 ratings

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“Patti Callahan seems to have found the story she was born to tell in this tale of unlikely friendship turned true love between Joy Davidman and C. S. Lewis, that tests the bounds of faith and radically alters both of their lives. Their connection comes to life in Callahan’s expert hands, revealing a connection so persuasive and affecting, we wonder if there’s another like it in history. Luminous and penetrating.” —Paula McLain, New York Times bestselling author of The Paris Wife

In a most improbable friendship, she found love. In a world where women were silenced, she found her voice. 

From New York Times bestselling author Patti Callahan comes an exquisite novel of Joy Davidman, the woman C. S. Lewis called “my whole world.” When poet and writer Joy Davidman began writing letters to C. S. Lewis—known as Jack—she was looking for spiritual answers, not love. Love, after all, wasn’t holding together her crumbling marriage. Everything about New Yorker Joy seemed ill-matched for an Oxford don and the beloved writer of Narnia, yet their minds bonded over their letters. Embarking on the adventure of her life, Joy traveled from America to England and back again, facing heartbreak and poverty, discovering friendship and faith, and against all odds, finding a love that even the threat of death couldn’t destroy. 

In this masterful exploration of one of the greatest love stories of modern times, we meet a brilliant writer, a fiercely independent mother, and a passionate woman who changed the life of this respected author and inspired books that still enchant us and change us. Joy lived at a time when women weren’t meant to have a voice—and yet her love for Jack gave them both voices they didn’t know they had. 

At once a fascinating historical novel and a glimpse into a writer’s life, Becoming Mrs. Lewis is above all a love story—a love of literature and ideas and a love between a husband and wife that, in the end, was not impossible at all.

“Patti Callahan Henry breathes wondrous fresh life into one of the greatest literary love stories of all time . . . The result is a deeply moving story about love and loss that is transformative and magical.” —Pam Jenoff, New York Times bestselling author of The Orphan’s Tale

 “I was swept along, filled with hope, and entirely beguiled, not only by the life lived behind the veil of C. S. Lewis’s books but also by the woman who won his heart. A literary treasure from first page to last.” —Lisa Wingate, New York Times bestselling author of Before We Were Yours

 “Profoundly evocative, revealing an intimate view of a woman whose love and story had never been fully told . . . until now . . . Becoming Mrs. Lewis is a tour de force and the must-read of the season!” —Mary Alice Monroe, New York Times bestselling author of Beach House Reunion

"Patti Callahan somehow inhabits Davidman, taking her readers inside the writer’s hungry mind and heart.  We keenly feel Davidman’s struggle to become her own person at a time (the 1950s) when women had few options . . . An astonishing work of biographical fiction." —Lynn Cullen, bestselling author of Mrs. Poe

"Patti Callahan breathes life into this fascinating woman whose hunger for knowledge leads her to buck tradition at every turn." —Diane Chamberlain, New York Times bestselling author of The Dream Daughter

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From the Publisher

becoming mrs. lewis

becoming mrs. lewis

The Muse of C.S. Lewis & The Woman Behind Narnia

After reading several works of C.S. Lewis, Joy Davidman was so moved that she wrote him in England. The two were long-distance pen pals for three years before they met in person. Joy eventually moved to England and they married in 1957.


C.S. Lewis called Joy his "whole world (stars, water, air, and field, and forest. as they were reflected in a single mind)."


Joy influenced some of Lewis' most significant works. He was so enraptured with her that her death nearly destroyed him and his faith.


Meet the Woman Beside C.S. Lewis

Expanded Edition

Poet and novelist Joy Davidman once wrote in an essay, “What in the world would ever become of us if we should ever grow brave?” In this novel, we answer that question as we follow Joy on a decade long journey of transformation from a wife and mother in upstate New York to the beloved wife of C. S. Lewis.


The expanded edition of Becoming Mrs. Lewis, the Improbable Love Story of Joy Davidman and C.S. Lewis, includes:


A Map of Oxford

An Expanded Discussion Guide with 20+ Questions for Book Clubs

A Timeline of Jack and Joy's Lives

Joy's (imagined) Letter to Jack

10 Things You May Not Know About Joy Davidman and C. S. Lewis's Love Story

A Behind the Scenes Essay: Oxford—The City

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becoming mrs. lewis

becoming mrs. lewis

becoming mrs. lewis

becoming mrs. lewis

becoming mrs. lewis

Sneak Peak Behind the Episodes & the Audiobook

This edition collects all the interviews from Patti Callahan's Behind the Scenes of Becoming Mrs. Lewis podcast, as well as extensive bonus material not previously released.


Episodes, interviews, and bonus content not previously released include:


What About the Children Part I with Douglas Gresham (before cancer)

What About the Children Part II with Douglas Gresham (after cancer)

Losing Faith: Did Lewis lose his faith after Joy's Death? with Dr. David Downing

Why Joy? Why did Lewis choose Joy Davidman? Dr. Crystal Hurd and Dr. Crystal Downing

Muse and Co-Author - Joy as Lewis' muse and co-author with Andrew Lazo

The Lost Love Sonnets - Joy's poetry to C.S. Lewis with Dr. Don W. King

Surprised by Love - How love found C.S. Lewis with Andrew Lazo

And over two hours of additional bonus content!

Go Behind the Scenes of Becoming Mrs. Lewis

An Original Podcast Audiobook

While writing her novel Becoming Mrs. Lewis, Patti Callahan was inspired by numerous experts with scholarly, literary, and personal connections to Lewis and Davidman.


Join author Patti Callahan for a seven-part original podcast that explores in depth the improbable and beautiful love story between C.S. Lewis and Joy Davidman with exclusive expert interviews and bonus content, including:


Joy Davidman’s son and C.S. Lewis’s step-son, Douglas Gresham

Drs. David and Crystal Downing, codirectors of the Marion E. Wade Center at Wheaton College

Dr. Crystal Hurd, author, and editor for Sehnsucht: The C.S. Lewis Journal and Author, Dr. Andrew Lazo, who specializes in works from C.S. Lewis and Joy Davidman

Scholar, speaker, Montreat College Professor and author of Yet One More Spring: A Critical Study of the Words of Joy Davidman, Dr. Don W. King

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Editorial Reviews

Review

'It's novel. And it's a very good one. . . extraordinarily accurate. . . more accurate than most biographical essays that have been written about my mother.' - Douglas Gresham, son of Joy Davidman, wife of C.S. Lewis.' (Read Aloud Revival)


'I thought I knew Joy Davidman, the oft mentioned but little examined wife of C. S. Lewis, but in Becoming Mrs. Lewis, Patti Callahan breathes life into this fascinating woman whose hunger for knowledge leads her to buck tradition at every turn. In a beautifully crafted account, Patti unveils Joy as a passionate and courageous--yet very human--seeker of answers to the meaning of life and the depths of faith. Becoming Mrs. Lewis is an unlikely love story that will touch heart, mind, and soul.' --Diane Chamberlain, New York Times bestselling author of The Dream Daughter


'Layered with personal reflection, poignant life events, and the Davidman-Lewis journey toward respect and love, Becoming Mrs. Lewis may very well become a literary classic of its own.' (Hope by the Book, GOLD STAR review)


'Patti Callahan has inhabited her subject so convincingly that Joy's light can finally shine brightly. Highly, highly recommended!' (Historical Novels Review)


'Patti Callahan's lyrical novel Becoming Mrs. Lewis details American author Joy Davidman's unconventional friendship-turned-romance with famed author and Christian apologist C.S. Lewis . . . The thoughtful narrative reads more like a memoir than fiction.' (WORLD magazine)


'Callahan (The Bookshop at Water's End) vividly enters the life of a woman searching for both God and romantic love in this pleasing historical novel about writer and poet Joy Davidman. In 1946, Joy lives in Ossining, N.Y., with her alcoholic husband, Bill Gresham, and her two small sons. In a moment of desperation, she prays to a God she doesn't believe in and experiences feeling 'fully known and loved.' Three years later, now deeply considering Christianity, she writes to Christian apologist C.S. Lewis with her questions about God. He responds, beginning a long-term correspondence in which Joy finds 'peace, connection, and intellectual intimacy.' By 1952, she wants to leave her unfaithful, abusive husband, but sees no way out. She does manage to take a much-needed physical and mental respite, heading to England for six months and falling in love with both England and Lewis; her only regret is leaving behind her sons. But, even after Bill and Joy divorce, Lewis at first keeps their relationship platonic, and Joy must search for true love and fulfillment through her relationship with God. Making full use of historical documentation, Callahan has created an incredible portrait of a complex woman.' (Publishers Weekly, STARRED REVIEW)


'In Becoming Mrs. Lewis, Patti Callahan Henry breathes wondrous fresh life into one of the greatest literary love stories of all time: the unlikely romance between English writer C. S. Lewis and the much younger American divorcee, Joy Davidman. Callahan chronicles their complex and unconventional relationship with a sure voice, deep insight into character, and eye for period detail. The result is a deeply moving story about love and loss that is transformative and magical.' --Pam Jenoff, New York Times bestselling author of The Orphan's Tale


'Patti Callahan's prose reads like poetry as she deftly unearths a lost love story that begs to be remembered and retold. I was swept along, filled with hope, and entirely beguiled, not only by the life lived behind the veil of C. S. Lewis's books but also by the woman who won his heart. A literary treasure from first page to last.' --Lisa Wingate, New York Times bestselling author of Before We Were Yours


'Becoming Mrs. Lewis is at once profoundly evocative, revealing an intimate view of a woman whose love and story had never been fully told . . . until now. Patti Callahan brings to life the elusive Joy Davidman and illuminates the achingly touching romance between Joy and C . S. Lewis. This is the book Patti Callahan was born to write. Becoming Mrs. Lewis is a tour de force and the must-read of the season!' --Mary Alice Monroe, New York Times bestselling author of Beach House Reunion


'Patti Callahan has written my favorite book of the year. Becoming Mrs. Lewis deftly explores the life and work of Joy Davidman, a bold and brilliant woman who is long overdue her time in the spotlight. Carefully researched. Beautifully written. Deeply romantic. Fiercely intelligent. It is both a meditation on marriage and a whopping grand adventure. Touching, tender, and triumphant, this is a love story for the ages.' --Ariel Lawhon, author of I Was Anastasia

About the Author

Patti Callahan (who also writes as Patti Callahan Henry) is a New York Times bestselling author. Patti was a finalist in the Townsend Prize for Fiction, has been an Indie Next Pick, twice an OKRA pick, and a multiple nominee for the Southern Independent Booksellers Alliance (SIBA) Novel of the Year. Her work has also been included in short story collections, anthologies, magazines, and blogs. Patti attended Auburn University for her undergraduate work and Georgia State University for her graduate degree. Once a Pediatric Clinical Nurse Specialist, she now writes full time. The mother of three children, she lives in both Mountain Brook, Alabama, and Bluffton, South Carolina, with her husband. Visit her online at patticallahanhenry.com; Instagram: pattichenry; Facebook: AuthorPattiCallahanHenry; Twitter: @pcalhenry.


Product details

Item Weight : 1.3 pounds

Hardcover : 416 pages

ISBN-10 : 0785224505

ISBN-13 : 978-0785224501

Product Dimensions : 6.38 x 1.34 x 9.57 inches

Publisher : Thomas Nelson (October 2, 2018)

Language: : English

Best Sellers Rank: #54,886 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

#268 in Biographical Historical Fiction

#328 in Historical Christian Romance

#344 in Christian Historical Fiction (Books)

Customer Reviews: 4.5 out of 5 stars    1,368 ratings

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Biography

Patti Callahan Henry is a New York Times and USA Today best-selling novelist of fifteen novels, including the historical fiction (writing as Patti Callahan) BECOMING MRS. LEWIS—The Improbable Love Story of Joy Davidman and C.S. Lewis. In addition, she is the recipient of The Christy Award—A 2019 Winner "Book of the Year.” ; The Harper Lee Distinguished Writer of the Year for 2020 and the Alabama Library Association Book of the Year for 2019, and the RNA UK finalist for Romantic Historical Fiction.

Her newest novel SURVIVING SAVANNAH will be released on March 9, 2021 by Penguin Random House/Berkley Publishing.


She is also the co-founder of the Facebook weekly show Friends and Fiction.


The author is also the host of the popular seven-part original "Behind the Scenes of Becoming Mrs. Lewis Podcast Series" launched, October 2019. The podcast audiobook collection including bonus material was released January 2020, and available now. The new expanded Becoming Mrs. Lewis paperback edition was released March 2020, and available now.


On March 9, 2021, SURVIVING SAVANNAH—a new historical fiction novel based on the true story of the Steamship Pulaski wreck will be released and available for pre-order now.


THE FAVORITE DAUGHTER (writing as Patti Callahan Henry—Southern Contemporary Fiction) was launched in June 2019, and THE PERFECT LOVE SONG—A Christmas Holiday novella released October 2019.


Patti Callahan is the co-host and co-creator of the popular weekly Friends and Fiction Facebook Live Show and podcast, featuring the five bestselling authors Mary Kay Andrews, Kristy Woodson Harvey, Kristin Harmel, and Mary Alice Monroe with endless stories, special guests, and a way to connect readers and writers.


A full-time author and mother of three children, she now resides in both Mountain Brook, Alabama, and Bluffton, South Carolina with her husband.

Patti's Story



Growing up in Philadelphia as the daughter of a Presbyterian minister, Patti learned early the value of storytelling. At the age of twelve, her family moved to South Florida where Patti found the sanctuary of libraries and began her slow but steady journey into understanding the power of story to navigate confusing times in life.


Patti attended Auburn University for her undergraduate work, and Georgia State University for her graduate degree. Once a Pediatric Clinical Nurse Specialist, she now writes full time. The mother of three children, she now lives in both Mountain Brook, Alabama and Bluffton, South Carolina with her husband.

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4.5 out of 5 stars


Top reviews from the United States

Kindle Customer

2.0 out of 5 stars Sloppy research and inse"nsitive

Reviewed in the United States on December 10, 2018

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I love the C.S. Lewis books and have enjoyed stories of the Lewis-Davidman marriage. Sadly the author, while a popular NYT best-seller, does not seem too deeply familiar with Lewis' works. There is a George MacDonald book referenced as "The Light Princess" which should correctly be "The Lost Princess." Also the author confuses The Last Battle with The Magician's Nephew in a later chapter where she references the latter only to describe the former. Most importantly, it seems simply audacious to approach a biography in the first person and whether her facts of the lives of the characters are more accurate or less so than the above discrepancies, she could certainly have shown more sensitivity to the individuals she involves in her story. There is a definite feminist bent, which may be allowable, but it does seem she treats Mr. Lewis, and even Ms. Davidman's first husband, with an overly judgmental approach at times. While entertaining, it is not an easy book to digest for one who is sensitive to the authors she purports to admire while dragging their intimate lives into the spotlight post mortem. I would not highly recommend this, her latest book.

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LBF

3.0 out of 5 stars Compelling Narrative Undermined by Author's Style

Reviewed in the United States on November 8, 2018

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While BECOMING MRS. LEWIS offers a compelling story, there are times when Ms. Callahan's narrative becomes embarrassing because of her saccharine, sentimental style of writing that's reminiscent of a romance novel. By the way, Ms. Callahan, Joy and Jack could not have strolled into London's Blackwell's Bookshop in June 1954 (chapter 37, page 273) because the company did not open a London flagship shop until 1995. While this book is fiction, some cultural references truly need to be accurate. I was very excited about reading this novel and purchased it on the day it was released on Amazon. I just wish that an editor could have eliminated all of the purple prose.

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5.0 out of 5 stars CALLAHAN’S BEST WORK YET

Reviewed in the United States on October 2, 2018

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I sensed a feeling of emotion and conviction in this novel that I have not felt in a novel in years. The research and detail made me feel completely wrapped up in Joy and Jacks lives and their love story. I admire Joy and feel inspired by her quest for the truth; I think Patti Callahan did a wonderful job of seeking to tell the story in Joy’s voice and her cadence. After reading the novel (practically overnight as I couldn’t put it down), I feel like I know a woman that not only inspires my confidence and boldness, but one that I would have been good friends with. I think every reader, man or woman, will identify with moments in this novel. I’ve read two of Patti’s other novels but must say THIS IS MY FAVORITE! I could only hope that the novel inspires a movie so that Patti’s story of their life reaches more people. This is Callahan at her finest, in my opinion!

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DMHW

2.0 out of 5 stars I don't think Callahan "gets it"

Reviewed in the United States on February 4, 2019

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Many negative reviews center on the idea that Joy is unlikeable and even unsympathetic. I disagree; I think the strongest point in Callahan's favor is that she very convincingly portrays a woman who is profoundly lonely in her own life. Joy tries desperately to fit in to the life she is living, but it's just not going to work. I thought the description of Joy's "awakening" when she gets to England was beautiful and very convincing. After that, however, it starts to come apart at the seams. Callahan's dialogue is downright awful in most places. Between Joy and Jack it is convincing, probably because she had so much material to study, but with almost anyone else it is laughably stilted. No relationship in the book aside from Joy and Jack is interesting or believable. They are like cardboard cut outs of dinner partners and villains; a simulacrum of a real life. But the biggest problem I had was that Callahan does not seem to truly understand Christianity (or maybe Joy didn't?). Joy Davidman married one of the most famous Christians on the planet, and yet in the book, Joy's Christianity only comes into consideration only in moments of intense suffering or confusion (the "God of the 911"). Callahan throws out random details like attending liturgy, but they seem like just that: details thrown in to paint a convincing picture, not details that illuminate the character and her thoughts. I don't think that Callahan understands that Christianity is more than a moral philosophy. CS Lewis certainly did, and if the real Joy didn't, that was a profound chasm between them. And yet Callahan portrays them as being largely of one heart and mind when it comes to conversion and living a life of Faith. In the end, it is an unconvincing portrayal of how this unlikely couple ended up together.

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M. L Russell

1.0 out of 5 stars Annoying

Reviewed in the United States on December 30, 2018

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The Joy Davidman of this soap opera is an annoying, egocentric woman. The emotions she expresses are too intense to be real. The relationship with Jack and their intertwining writing and work together seem overwrought and impossible. A waste of time.

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Jennifer Thompson-Thalasinos

5.0 out of 5 stars A beautiful love

Reviewed in the United States on October 7, 2018

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I’ve always been fascinated by CS Lewis’ wife Joy. I knew the basic story: Joy was a divorcee who married her dear friend CS Lewis to stay in England. After shes’s diagnosed with cancer they admit their love for each other.


The full story of Joy is quite complex. Like Mr. Lewis she was an atheist who converted later in life. She was encouraged by a mutual friend to write to Mr. Lewis about faith. In the meantime her relationship with her husband and her health were deteriorating. She takes an extended trip to England and gets to know CS Lewis and his brother. Eventually before returning to America, she finds out her husband has fallen in love with her cousin. Deciding to move to England permanently, she continues her deep friendship with CS Lewis who offers to marry her when she can’t extend her Visa. At this point she’s deeply in love with CS Lewis, but he stays steadfast that they are friends, until learning she has incurable cancer.


This book is very well written. It had me riveted from the very beginning. Although it’s a work of historical fiction, the story itself is completely factual. Throughout the book other famous authors come in and out including PL Travers, TS Elliot, and of course JRR Tolkien. I recommend this book for all CS Lewis fans.

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Rachel Anderson

1.0 out of 5 stars Poorly written revisionist history

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 21, 2020

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I first stumbled across this book in a bookstore and was completely entranced. I decided I had to read the rest of the story. After I bought it, I trudged on through hundreds of pages of dealing with Joy Davidman’s abusive marital relationship (which did actually happen.) I kept waiting for a bit of hope. When she finally meets Lewis, it instantly becomes a romantic relationship for both parties. This is completely inaccurate. I make the mistake of pushing further through finding more and more inaccuracies but hoping it would resolve itself eventually.


About a third of the way through the book, the author chooses to throw in a one night stand with a random man Joy meets in London. As someone who loves the Lord and understands what following Jesus would have meant to both C.S. Lewis and Joy Davidman as well as the sexual ethics of the time, this seems an unnecessary and horrible smudge upon her character. It has no representation in truth and would be seen as a basis for slander were the woman alive.


I was also led to believe in the story that the letters quoted are actual tidbits from the existing letters between Davidman and Lewis. Apparently even these have been twisted and imagined.


As someone who loves a good historical fiction, I was disappointed. As someone who loves both Lewis and Davidman I was horrified. Most of all, I was saddened by the revisionist history which wasn’t even well written. It’s one of the first times in my life I’m putting down a book and won’t be finishing it.

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Kindle Customer

5.0 out of 5 stars Stupendous

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 3, 2020

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Five stars are insufficient for this book. I found that I could not put it down, that I became so engrossed in it. I hope that given time that I will be able to read most if not all the books in the bibliography to gain further knowledge and understanding.

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Olive Blake

5.0 out of 5 stars Great book!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 1, 2019

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Well written and great story. Couldn't put it down. Thanks!

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janet leigh

5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 3, 2019

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This is not my normal read but it opened up a whole new side to my library.

Ive recommended it to all my reading friends.

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Amazon Customer

4.0 out of 5 stars A story of the ordinary lives of two extraordinary people

Reviewed in Canada on February 5, 2020

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I liked the insight into how CS Lewis wrote his Narnia series. I was surprised by how large a role religion played in the lives of Joy and CS. As a former Oxford Person, I enjoyed reading about their daily lives in a location that is very special to me. I rated this 4 out of 5 because I save 5 for the rare books that affect my perception of things. This was a very interesting account of the everyday life of two important people.

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Becoming Mrs. Lewis: The Improbable Love Story of Joy Davidman and C. S. Lewis

by 
 4.03  ·   Rating details ·  19,036 ratings  ·  3,088 reviews
In a most improbable friendship, she found love. In a world where women were silenced, she found her voice.

From New York Times bestselling author Patti Callahan comes an exquisite novel of Joy Davidman, the woman C. S. Lewis called “my whole world.” When poet and writer Joy Davidman began writing letters to C. S. Lewis—known as Jack—she was looking for spiritual answers, not love. Love, after all, wasn’t holding together her crumbling marriage. Everything about New Yorker Joy seemed ill-matched for an Oxford don and the beloved writer of Narnia, yet their minds bonded over their letters. Embarking on the adventure of her life, Joy traveled from America to England and back again, facing heartbreak and poverty, discovering friendship and faith, and against all odds, finding a love that even the threat of death couldn’t destroy.

In this masterful exploration of one of the greatest love stories of modern times, we meet a brilliant writer, a fiercely independent mother, and a passionate woman who changed the life of this respected author and inspired books that still enchant us and change us. Joy lived at a time when women weren’t meant to have a voice—and yet her love for Jack gave them both voices they didn’t know they had.

At once a fascinating historical novel and a glimpse into a writer’s life, Becoming Mrs. Lewis is above all a love story—a love of literature and ideas and a love between a husband and wife that, in the end, was not impossible at all.
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Kindle Edition432 pages
Published October 2nd 2018 by Thomas Nelson

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Jennifer ~ TarHeelReader
This is some kind of special! 5 stars! ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️

Patti Callahan (Henry) is one of my favorite authors. How do I know this? I own all of her books and a few are “saved” unread for the book apocalypse. You know, I’m well-prepared for that. When I read that she was writing historical fiction for the first time, and that it also involved C.S. Lewis, I was all in.

Joy Davidman is the main character. The book begins with her life as a wife and mother, and I could sense right away that something is not right in her marriage. Her husband is moody and drinks too much, and while there is palpable love between them, there is also a distance, a disconnect.

Joy and her husband are both writers, and after a terrifying experience involving her husband, Joy begins to explore and test her faith. In doing so, she begins writing about faith on behalf of she and her husband in letters of correspondence to C.S. Lewis (Jack). The two begin writing back and forth, exploring and deeply connecting through their words to each other and over their spiritual beliefs.

In a leap of faith, Joy travels to England from America and into the arms of her Jack. I’m in awe of the inspiring love that developed between the two, so remarkable in fact, that Joy is somewhat of a muse for Jack, sparking works that delight us to this day.

While it would be easy to judge Joy for some of her decisions regarding her first marriage, instead I am stirred by her fierce independence and willingness to risk it all for love.

Becoming Mrs. Lewis is not only the love story of Joy and Jack. It’s also their ode to literature. Fans of C.S. Lewis, the historical fiction genre, strong female characters, compelling love stories, and books about books are sure to revel in Becoming Mrs. Lewis.

Not only did Callahan author her first work of historical fiction, she owned it. She was meant to write this genre all along!

Thank you to Thomas Nelson for the opportunity to read and review this ARC. All opinions are my own.

My reviews can also be found on my blog with pictures 🤓: www.jennifertarheelreader.com
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Lisa Wingate
Apr 13, 2018rated it it was amazing
Pulled me in, kept me up, left me joyful. Need I say more?

In case you aren't yet persuaded to snatch up this beautiful book for your reading stack, let me add that Patti Callahan's writing is at times so breathtaking, as a writer, I paused to reread a turn of phrase. As magical as the writing is, though, the novel's true magic is the revelation of the man behind the stories we all know and the woman, the outsider, who captured his heart. Joy Davidman and C.S. Lewis were an unlikely match, separated by an ocean, an age difference, ghosts of the past, and the general complications of life, and yet love has the power to conquer all. The telling of their story is long overdue.

Read this book. It will remind you that we are, each of us, so much more than the masks we wear.
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Erin
Oct 03, 2018rated it really liked it
Shelves: kindlenetgalley
I have to say that this book took me completely by surprise. Honestly, I think sometimes when I approach a book about real people, in this case C.S.Lewis and Joy Davidman, I cannot help but ask myself "So which one is going to be the jerk?" But Patti Callahan unfolds the story of the meeting of the minds as much as much as that of the heart. People, this book is #relationshipgoals, the type our mothers and fathers hope we will encounter as we travel the road of love. Seventeen years in age difference, "Jack" and Joy correspond first to discuss their own search for a relationship with religion, which eventually leads to a relationship based on mutual respect and friendship that as the years go by does lead to more. Upon completion and this might seem a bit silly, but Becoming Mrs Lewis is definitely a book that made me feel like for just a few hours, Joy and C.S. Lewis once more walked the earth. Their story lands this book safely in my favorites of 2018

Thanks to Netgalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review 
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Diane S ☔
Nov 27, 2018rated it liked it
This is going to be less a review than just myself explaining how I was all over the place while reading this novel. I think most people have heard of C. S. Lewis and his Narnia, but of his only wife Joy, very little. Was what drew me to this book. I liked it, I didn't like it, found it repetitive at times, interesting at others, grew frustrated with all the spirituality, philosophizing, the tone was so melancholy, not much joy to be found within. So conflicting, a good look at a woman who wanted more than her time period generally allowed a woman, but so much complaining, searching.

Well written, a woman few knew much about, a love affair that seemed somewhat unreal but was, and a spiritual searching for snswers from a most unlikely source. As i said I was all over the place as I was reading.

ARC from Netgalley
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Diane Barnes
I'm in the minority on my rating of this book, so I'll just say it was not my cup of tea. Had I not been reading it for my book club I would have DNF'd the whole thing. I was frustrated and bored because it felt as though the author couldn't decide whether this was a biographical novel, religious fiction, or chick lit, and the combination just did not work for me.
Literary Soirée
I first read an excerpt of this stunning new book and longed for more, so was ecstatic to receive a full review copy from Thomas Nelson-Fiction. Felt like Christmas had come early, which indeed it had, as BECOMING MRS. LEWIS is everything I’d hoped for and more.

Author Patti Callahan is a writer’s writer and a reader’s dream. Her prose is lush, her characterizations true, and her fictionalized account is thrilling as she retells the towering love story between C.S. Lewis, the 20th Century’s greatest Christian apologist, and Joy Davidman, Brooklyn divorcee and Jewish covert to Christianity.

BECOMING MRS. LEWIS recounts the romance between these two brilliant, flawed people ... one the Oxford Don who called himself “the most reluctant covert in all England” the night he came to faith, and the other a New York writer once married to an alcoholic, desperate for hope in a life of poverty and despair.

The impact of their love still resonates, through Lewis’s “A Grief Observed” written after losing his wife to cancer soon after marriage ... and now through the resplendent BECOMING MRS. LEWIS. 5 Glorious Stars!

Thanks to Patti Callahan, Thomas Nelson-Fiction and NetGalley for the advance copy. Opinions are fully mine.
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Jessica
I received this book for free as part of an Instagram tour (Just Read Tours specifically) I did to promote the book.

I was interested in reading this book because I am a fan of C.S. Lewis. I hadn’t heard of Joy Davidman before, so I was curious to learn more about her. Please note that although this book is based on real people and real events, it is still a work of historical fiction.

This book was incredible. It beautifully depicted the relationship between Lewis and Davidman. Their romance was unconventional but epic. The love they had for one another is truly remarkable. I loved how they influenced each other’s work and treated each other as equals.

description

Joy was such a strong woman. I enjoyed learning her backstory and seeing how she had the courage to not only leave her alcoholic and cheating husband, but also to start a new life with her children in another country.

I loved the epilogue. It really gave Joy a voice. She comes from a time where people often silenced her voice and contributions. I liked that the author let Joy have the final word.

Since this is a book about C.S. Lewis, is also discusses the Christian faith but it doesn’t go overboard with it. If you’re worried that it might be too religious, don’t be. The heart of the book is really their love story.

Lastly, the endpapers of the book feature a map of Oxford which I found to be a really nice touch, since the Narnia books are known to have maps.

Overall, this is an amazing read! If you are fan of C.S. Lewis or love books about incredible women, then pick this one up!
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Rosie Adle
Feb 15, 2019rated it did not like it
My thoughts, for what they're worth...

Here's a book about a woman who was determined to pursue her dreams and seek true love and so rationalized an emotional/intellectual affair and a physical leaving of family during a months-long search-for-self across an ocean. I do not have warm regard for Mrs. Lewis if even 10% of this historical fiction is fact-ish.

Sometimes I, too, would rather write poems than prep meals or mend clothes, but that doesn't make me special; it makes me selfish.

Her first marriage was junk, but it was still a marriage. I don't know why anyone should celebrate a failed marriage even if it made for a remarkable literary matchmaking down the road.

Again though, the genre designation is key: historical *fiction.*
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Deanne Patterson
How does one write a review for a book like this, a book that is quite possibly the best I've read this year? How can a review even begin to give this book the proper justice?
This book has taken a piece of my heart with it when I finished it, never to be returned!
I'll admit to having never read a C.S. Lewis book and never having heard of his wife, Joy.
This book isn't just a mundane book about their life and how they met, it started out by her contacting him by letter, by the way. No, this book has a depth which may be deeper than the ocean, nor is it one dimensional. This book has so many layers, like an onion waiting to be peeled and discovered. When you think you have it all down and understand their lives separately and together you will discover your understanding is just at it's beginning. C.S. Lewis was a man who enjoyed the simple life, a good (fag) cigarette, a whiskey and simple friendships. He did not have a need for romance, he had his books and his writing. he had more of a need for a deep friendship with Joy than anything else. He came to depend on her in many aspects of his book work. An unlikely friendship that developed into true love. This book develops all the truth,tenderness and triumph you could expect in this time period, the 1950's. Joy Davidman was a woman who had a voice when women were expected not to.
Pub Date 02 Oct 2018
I received a complimentary copy of this book from Thomas Nelson--FICTION through NetGalley. Thank you. All opinions expressed are my own.
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Lisa
Feb 17, 2019rated it it was amazing

SUMMARY
Joy Davidman is a writer and poet living in Ossining NY in 1946. She is locked in a loveless marriage with her alcoholic husband, Bill Gresham, and their two young sons. In a moment of desperation, she says a prayer to a God she doesn’t believe in and has an overwhelming experience that causes her to want to find out more about Christianity. She writes to Christian apologist C. S. Lewis with questions about God. Lewis responds, beginning a long-term correspondence between the two. Joy finds friendship, solace and wisdom in the letters she receives. By 1952, her husband is both unfaithful and abusive, but Joy can find no way out. Her health is suffering from the stress, and she is under doctors orders to rest. She heads to England for six months, where she meets Lewis for the first time. She falls in love with both England and Lewis, but ultimately must return to the US. There, she is fully committed to divorcing her husband, and returning to England with her two sons. Once she returns to England, Joy is ever hopeful her platonic relationship with Jack, will be transformed into something more.

“You tolerate what you must when it becomes your reality.“


“God might not fix things for me, but he would be with me in whatever waited ahead, that was clear.”


REVIEW
BECOMING MRS. LEWIS is a fascinating historical love story of two literary giants. Joy was a intelligent and strong woman with a voice far ahead of her time. Patti Callahan Henry has recreated the exquisite details of the improbable friendship and ultimate romance between two people a world apart geographically, spiritually, and emotionally.

I particularly loved Henry’s vivid descriptions of Lewis’s home, The Kilns, as well as the depictions of the joy-filled times the two shared together, going for walks or sitting in front of the fireplace sharing stories. While this is a work of historical fiction, readers of C. S. Lewis will absolutely love a glimpse at the personal surroundings, thoughts and feelings of the man behind the beloved characters of Aslan and Wormwood.

Henry’s writing is evocative and masterful. She was inspired to write the story because of her love for the fascinating works of C. S. Lewis. Once she read Lewis’s A Grief Observed, she was committed to finding out more about the women he loved so fiercely he called her “his whole world.” Henry researched Joy’s writing and traveled to the Wade Center at Wheaton College where Joy’s papers are kept alongside C.S. Lewis’s. BECOMING MRS. LEWIS is her fourteenth novel.

“We can’t just surrender to our every desire. Man must have his principles and live by them regardless. Our nature must must be controlled or it can ruin our lives.”

Publisher Thomas Nelson
Published October 2, 2018
Narrated Lauren Woodward
Review www.bluestockingreviews.com




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Marialyce
Oct 07, 2018rated it really liked it
Shelves: net-galley
4 intensity of love stars
My reviews can be found here: https://yayareadslotsofbooks.wordpres...

It is often very hard to find true love, searching for it, we so many times stumble looking for that one person who makes us whole, who makes us feel valued, who makes us feel loved.

In Becoming Mrs. Lewis, Patti Callahan explores the love story between C. S. Lewis, a well known older author living in England, and Joy Davidman, a young poet, mother, who was trapped in a marriage to an alcoholic and phil
 ...more
momma.hailey
Mar 06, 2019rated it did not like it
Brutal. I’m actually disappointed and finally decided to stop reading it at page 320. Can’t take the drivel anymore!

The italicized thought of Joy mid page 320 “or take me in your arms and set me down on that bed and make love to me”. I actually eye rolled. I wonder if either Lewis or Joy would want things like that included. Doubt it.

My main issue, besides the mediocre writing, which made it easy to skim big portions at a time, was with Joy’s portrayal. She’s selfish, promiscuous, and even childish in her thoughts and conversations regarding her parents. I found her non relatable as a mother. The author continues to drag you along with Joy’s feelings towards Jack to the point of annoyance. Ultimately it’s just distracting.

All while I was reading I kept thinking that this story doesn’t do their story justice. I much preferred Douglas Gresham’s book about Jack, where he tastefully and beautifully describes their relationship. Go read that instead.
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Melissa Tagg
Nov 13, 2018rated it it was amazing
I don't know if I can possibly put into words how much I loved this book...or how deeply it touched me. Which is almost funny because when I started reading it, I wasn't actually sure it would end up holding my interest. But once I got going, I couldn't stop. The writing itself is just so pretty...but too, I adored the layered characters. I've seen a review here or there from folks not necessarily loving the way C.S. Lewis is portrayed or feeling let down by the character of Joy. But I loved her all the more for her faults and I loved Lewis himself all the more for the glimpses we get at his own weaknesses or uncertainty. I know this is historical fiction—not necessarily fact—but it served to make real people even more real to me. And it touched my heart in a way I really didn't expect, challenging and inspiring my own faith.

If I had the teensiest of tiniest complaints it's that sometimes it felt like the dialogue was awfully polished. I mean, these are very intellectual, academic characters we're reading about, but even so...there were moments when I thought, "Could a person really be this eloquent in everyday conversation?" But again...tiny, little thing and not nearly enough for me to knock off a star.

Thanks to NetGalley for the courtesy copy of this book. I wasn't required to write a review and all thoughts are my own.
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☮Karen
Mar 27, 2019rated it really liked it
"We are often woefully negligent of the women next to the men we admire, and Joy Davidman is one of those women."
Patti Callahan in A Note From the Author, Becoming Mrs. Lewis

I knew nothing about poet and novelist Joy Davidman before, and very little about C.S. Lewis other than he has written many books that I've never had the slightest interest in. The author, however, has been a fan for years of them both and strove to make Joy's extraordinary accomplishments known. Callahan has given us the story of how a married Jewish woman and mother of two became a Christian with the courage to leave her husband and America, to meet her penpal and spiritual advisor Mr. Lewis, then a professor at Oxford, and eventually move to England to work side by side with him as an intellectual equal. She was his co-writer, his editor, his muse, and his love, joy, and grief. She received very little recognition.

Callahan's prose had to be brilliant to convey that of Joy's, and she met that challenge. I found the book to be lovely. Only a few times did I think it verged on being preachy (both of the main characters were quite devout, but not boring), and it came pretty darn close to being a romance book, but in the end I'd simply say it was heartbreakingly romantic. Their conversations were thought provoking and intellectually stimulating, never sappy. I intend to read something by each of them.
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[우학스님의 유튜브불교대학] ④ 사주팔자와 운명 - 불교신문

 [우학스님의 유튜브불교대학] ④ 사주팔자와 운명 - 불교신문



[우학스님의 유튜브불교대학] ④ 사주팔자와 운명

우학스님 한국불교대학大관음사 회주
승인 2020.09.04 


운명 탓할 게 아니라 개척해가는 불자가 되자

오늘 주제는, ‘사주팔자 믿지 말고 스스로 운명을 개척하라!’입니다. 30대 젊은 사람이 제게 말했습니다. “스님, 어디 가서 물어보면, 저는 사주가 안 좋답니다. 뭐든 다 안 된다고 하니, 제가 살맛이 안 납니다”라고 했습니다. 

‘사주팔자가 도대체 무엇이기에, 청춘의 기를 죽이는가…?’하는 생각을 한 적이 있습니다. 사주(四柱)란 ‘생년·월·일·시’를 말합니다. 올해가 경자년이면 경자가 연주(年柱)가 됩니다. 이렇듯이 월주(月柱), 일주(日柱), 시주(時柱)를 세울 수 있습니다. 팔자(八字)란 사주를 세울 때 사용된 천간지지 여덟 자를 아울러 하는 말입니다. 명리학(命理學)에서는 이 사주팔자가 전적으로 운명을 결정한다고 봅니다.

수행을 통한 마음공부라야 운명을 개척할 수 있다.
--
그런데 우리가 합리적으로 생각해보면 여기에는 많은 의아스러움이 있습니다. 예를 들어, 2018년 대한민국 통계청에서 내놓은 자료에 의하면, 우리나라에서 1년에 태어난 신생아 숫자는 32만6822명이라고 합니다. 이것을 365로 나누면 하루에 895명이 태어나는데, 이 895명을 다시 12지(支)의 12로 나누면 74라는 숫자가 나옵니다. 즉, ‘사주팔자가 같은 사람이 하루에 74명이 태어난다’는 이야기가 됩니다. 그렇다면 이 74명이 사는 모습이 같을까요?

아주 탐구심이 강한 어떤 사람이 ‘과연 나와 사주가 똑같은 사람들이 같은 삶을 살아가고 있을까?’ 하고 의문을 가진 뒤 일일이 직접 찾아다니면서 조사를 했답니다. 그랬더니 그 결과가 아주 딴판이었습니다. 직업이 다 다르고, 성격이 다 달랐다고 합니다. 물론, 부모 복도 다르고, 부부연, 즉 부인을 얻는 것도 다르고, 공부 머리도 다르고, 용모도 다르고, 재물 복도 다 달랐답니다. 그리하여 하던 역학(易學) 공부를 다 집어치웠다고 했습니다.
--
좀 더 리얼한 얘기를 하나 더 해드리겠습니다. 2002년 12월 대통령 선거 때의 일입니다. 그때 대단한 두 분, 즉 새천년민주당 노무현 후보, 한나라당 이회창 후보가 맞붙었습니다. 선거 당일, 오후 6시가 거의 다 될 즈음 한 방송사에서 전국의 역술인들에게 ‘이번에 누가 대통령에 당선되겠는가?’라고 물은 내용을 발표하였는데, 그 당시 역술인들의 85%가 이회창 후보의 당선을 점쳤습니다. 그런데 개표 결과는 노무현 후보의 당선이었습니다.

이런 경우를 보더라도 사주팔자만 가지고 운명을 논한다는 것은 대단히 위험합니다. 사주팔자는 선천운(先天運)을 논합니다. 그런데 우리들의 삶은 후천운(後天運)의 요소들이 함께 작용합니다. 저 개인의 견해로, 후천운의 요소는 다음 여섯 가지입니다.

즉, ‘노력·환경·적선(積善)·성명(姓名)·조상의 음덕’이 각각 5%씩 차지하고, 다른 25%는 ‘마음의 힘’이라고 봅니다. ‘마음의 힘’은 물론, 보이지 않지만 우리의 운명에 결정적 영향을 끼칩니다. 과거의 업으로 인해 50% 선천운이 사주팔자에 나타났다고 가정한다 하더라도 현재 ‘마음의 힘’이 업으로 연결된 그 선천운을 충분히 좌지우지할 수 있다는 것입니다. 

바로 그 마음의 힘을 극대화하는 것이 불교적 수행입니다. 가끔, 사주팔자가 안 좋아서 출가했다는 스님들이 있는데, 일반적으로 잘 사는 수가 많습니다. 예전에 송광사 방장으로 계시던 구산(九山) 대선사의 전기를 보니 그와 비슷한 이야기가 있었습니다. 어릴 적에 당대의 유명한 역술인이 ‘세속에 살면 일도 안 되고 단명한다’ 해서 출가를 하였는데, 스님께서 오래 건강하셨던 것은 물론이고, 총림의 방장까지 오르셨으니, 이 역시 불교 수행만이 살길임을 알 수 있는 일입니다. 

불교 수행은 ‘마음의 힘’을 키우는 일입니다. ‘마음의 힘’이 운명을 통째로 바꿀 수 있습니다. 따라서 운명을 감정하는데 신경 쓸 것이 아니라, 모든 불자들은 어떻게 하면 ‘마음의 힘’을 극대화할 것인가에 초점을 맞추어야 합니다. ‘마음의 힘’을 극대화하는 데는 여러 가지 수행이 있습니다. 참선, 정근기도, 사경, 독송, 절 등입니다. 

우학스님이 쓴 ‘마음 부처’.

좀 더 확신을 드리기 위해서 한 가지 예를 더 살펴보겠습니다. 우리가 잘 아는 김구 선생이 17세 때, ‘어떻게 살면 좋을까?’ 고민하다가 마의상법(麻衣相法)이라는 관상 책을 보면서 운명학에 대해 연구를 하였답니다. 수개월 동안 공부를 이어가던 중에 마지막에 적힌 ‘상호불여신호(相好不如身好) 신호불여심호(身好不如心好)’라는 말에 책을 덮었다고 합니다. ‘관상은 몸상에 미치지 못하고, 몸상은 심상에 미치지 못한다’는 얘기입니다. 여기서의 심상(心相) 역시 ‘마음의 힘’, ‘마음 에너지’를 말하고 있습니다.

제가 다시 말을 만들었습니다. ‘선천운불여심상(先天運不如心相)’입니다. 선천운, 즉 사주팔자니 관상이니 하는 것은 마음의 상, 즉 마음 에너지에 미치지 못한다는 말입니다. 그렇습니다. 우리는 마음의 근육을 키우고, 마음의 스트레칭을 잘하면 됩니다. 그러기 위해서 세 가지 방법을 제시하고자 합니다.

첫째, 긍정적 심성(心性) 견지(堅持)입니다. 간단히 말하자면, 보살심을 굳게 가지라는 말입니다. 저의 이론으로, 보살이 가져야 하는 여섯 가지 마음이 있습니다. 즉, ‘6대 보살심론’입니다. ‘감사합니다, 사랑합니다, 덕분입니다, 제가 하겠습니다, 예 그렇습니다, 미안합니다’ 이렇게 여섯 가지입니다. 이러한 보살심, 긍정적 마음이 자기 인생을 윤택하게 한다는 것입니다. 나에게 불성(佛性), 부처님의 성품이 있음을 굳게 믿고 ‘나는 긍정적으로 살겠다’, ‘나는 긍정적 인생관을 가지겠다’는 생각이 투철해야 합니다.

둘째, 우주적 심성 견지입니다. 우주적으로 심성을 굳게 지니려면, <금강경> 수행이 꼭 필요합니다. 금강경을 항상 독송하고 사경하면 좋습니다. 금강경 첫머리에 보면, “아뇩다라삼먁삼보리심, 즉 무상정등정각을 성취하려면 어떻게 해야 합니까?”라고 질문하는 내용이 나옵니다. 그때 부처님께서는, “‘일체중생을 다 제도하리라’라고 서원 세우라”고 대답하십니다.

이렇게 서원을 세워야 깨달음도 얻고, 인생도 달라진다는 것입니다. 그것이 바로 우주적 심성 견지, 즉 우주적으로 그 마음을 굳게 지니는 것입니다. ‘일체중생을 내가 다 제도하겠다’, ‘내가 나보다 못한 이웃을 위해서 살겠다’, ‘내가 지옥 중생까지 다 제도하겠다’ 이 얼마나 스케일이 큰 일입니까. 

이처럼 우주적으로 크게 마음을 내면, 우리의 삶은 확연히 달라집니다. 근원적, 근본적으로 달라질 수밖에 없습니다. 이러한 마음의 힘이라면 과거 전생의 나쁜 업도 다 녹여가면서 살아갈 수 있습니다. ‘우주적 심성 견지’가 얼마나 중요한 지 이해가 되리라고 봅니다.

마지막 셋째, 이 세 번째가 가장 중요합니다. 셋째는 결정적 심성 견지입니다. 우리는 결정심(決定心)이라는 말을 자주 쓰곤 합니다. 결정심 또는 결정적 심성이란, ‘수행을 통해서 나의 업을 모두 갈아엎겠다’는 것입니다. ‘다부지게 수행하여 전생부터 쌓아온 이 업을 갈아엎고, 전혀 새로운 나로 태어나겠다’라는 서원이 결정적으로 그 마음 가운데 자리해야 합니다.

그것이 진실한 결정심입니다. 다시 반복해서 말씀드리면, ‘나는 전혀 다른 인생을 살아야겠다. 그러기 위해서 나는 과거의 업까지 녹일 수 있는 마음공부를 아주 다부지게 하겠다’라는 결정심이 있는 사람은 분명히 전혀 다른 빛깔의 삶을 살아갈 수 있습니다. 

수행은 곧 음식을 숙성시키는 과정과 비슷합니다. ‘중생의 나’를 잘 숙성시키면 ‘부처의 나’로 거듭날 수 있습니다. 숙성이란 현재 나의 기질을 완전히 죽이는 것입니다. ‘대사일번 절후소생(大死一番 絶後蘇生)’ 입니다. 즉, ‘크게 한번 죽어야 다시 태어난다’ 라는 이 말을 늘 염두에 두어야 합니다. 세간에 흔히 쓰는 말로 절처봉생(絶處逢生)이 헛말이 아닙니다. 막다른 길에서 새롭게 태어나는 것입니다. 

그러니까 ‘나는 사는 것이 좀 힘드네….’ 또는 ‘나는 업장이 좀 두텁네…’ 등 이런 생각이 드는 사람은 죽는 것을 각오하고, 삼천 배라도 수십 번 해볼 일입니다. 아니면, 무문관에 틀어박혀 몇 개월이고 스님들처럼 면벽참선도 해봐야 합니다. 그렇게 하지 않으면 인생 전체를 완전히 갈아엎을 수가 없습니다.

180도 달라진 삶은, 불퇴전의 용기를 가지고 부단히 정진할 때 가능합니다. 수행은 절대 일회성 내지는 말뚝 신심으로는 그 효과가 나타나지 않습니다. 결연한 각오로 꾸준히 하기만 하면 사주팔자, 관상의 선천운은 뛰어넘을 수 있습니다. 지금까지 말씀드린 세 가지를 마음속 깊이 잘 받아들인다면 분명히 성공적인 인생을 구가할 수 있습니다. 마음이 창조주입니다. 

심시조주(心是造主)! 제가 지어서 자주 쓰는 말입니다. 운명을 탓할 것이 아니라 운명을 창조해가는 불자 되시길 기도 축원 드립니다. 
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* 이 글에 대한 내용은 한국불교대학 유튜브불교대학에서 시청할 수 있습니다.



無一 우학 한자성어 ④ 柵隙狍掠(책극포략)

울타리에 구멍이 나 있으니, 고라니가 노략질 한다

무일선원 무문관이 있는 경주 감포의 연대산에는 고라니가 아주 많습니다. 그래서 고라니가 심어 놓은 작물을 해치는 일은 비일비재합니다. 절 아랫동네 한 신도는 며칠 전에 고라니가 옥수수 밭을 작살내는 바람에 농사를 다 망쳤다고 푸념하는 소리를 해댔습니다.

이 한자성어를 만들 즈음은 고구마 순이 올라올 때였습니다. 그물망으로 울타리를 쳐두었는데도, 한번 농장에 나갔더니 고라니가 고구마 순을 죄다 잘라먹었습니다. 고라니가 울타리 작은 틈새를 뚫고 들어온 것입니다. 절 사람들은 ‘고라니 이놈!’ 하고 씩씩대지만 이것은 고라니 탓이 아닙니다. 고라니는 본래 천성적으로 그렇게 살아갈 뿐이므로 울타리를 완벽하게 치지 않은 우리 잘못입니다.

우리 선가에서는 예로부터 ‘벽극풍동 심극마침(壁隙風動 心隙魔侵)’이라는 말을 씁니다. ‘벽에 틈이 생기면 바람이 들어오듯, 마음에 틈이 생기면 마가 침범한다’ 라는 뜻입니다. <금강경>에서는 ‘항복기심(降伏其心)’으로 표현됩니다. 그 마음이 곧 울타리 구멍이요, 벽의 틈입니다. 수행하는 우리 불자들은 남의 탓을 하기보다는 먼저 자기한테 문제가 없는가를 살펴야 합니다.

특히 마음을 잘 부릴 필요가 있습니다. 제가 세운 ‘사역기심 팔법(使役其心 八法)’입니다. 첫째, 그 마음을 잘 들여다보라(入觀其心). 둘째, 그 마음을 잘 알아라(善解其心). 셋째, 그 마음을 항복시켜라(降伏其心). 넷째, 그 마음을 흔들림 없이 하라(不動其心). 다섯째, 그 마음을 얽어매지 마라(不絆其心). 여섯째, 그 마음을 활기차게 써라(活用其心). 일곱째, 그 마음을 즐겨라(遊戱其心). 여덟째, 그 마음을 잘 유지하여 지켜라(維持其心). 

결론입니다. 마음이 자기를 다스린다고 하지만, 수행을 통하면 지혜가 나타나 마음을 다스립니다(智顯使心). 더욱더 나아가면 마음과 지혜가 원융한 자리로 들어갑니다(智心圓融). 공아(空我), ‘진리적 나’가 춤을 춥니다.

탐진치 제1권 개념 pdf 화일 첨부

탐진치 제1권 개념 pdf 화일 첨부

탐(貪)-진(嗔)-치(癡)

탐진치 제1권 개념 pdf 화일 첨부
책 원본[pdf] 0 304 2019.07.15 15:10
55 탐진치 제1권 개념.pdf (1.4M) 2019.07.15

탐진치 제1권 개념 pdf 화일 첨부

어려서부터 탐진치(貪嗔癡) 삼독(三毒)이라는 말을 들었습니다. 욕심과 성냄과 어리석음, 이 세 가지는 마치 독(毒)과도 같아서 삶에 미치는 폐해가 크다는 의미 정도로 알아왔습니다.

늦게나마 불교(佛敎)를 부처님 살아서 직접 설한 가르침의 범주에서 만나게 되었습니다. 설하신 언어 그대로 부처님 살아서 직접 설한 가르침을 만날 수 있게도 되었습니다. 그랬더니 놀라운 일이 생겼습니다. 탐진치(貪嗔癡)가 탐진치(貪嗔癡)가 아닐 수도 있다는 사실을 발견하게 된 것입니다.

탐진치(貪嗔癡)는 설하신 언어 즉 빠알리(pāḷi)로 되돌려지지 않습니다. 탐(貪)이란 한자어(漢字語)가 빠알리의 어느 단어로 특정되지 않기 때문입니다. 중국불교(中國佛敎)에서 탐(貪)으로 번역한 빠알리 단어는 두 개인데, lobha와 rāga입니다. 그리고 진(嗔)은 dosa, 치(癡)는 moha입니다. 그래서 경(經)에는 lobha-dosa-moha와 rāga-dosa-moha의 두 가지 조합이 사용됩니다. 아마도 중국의 번역가들이 lobha와 rāga의 차이를 읽어내지 못한 것 같습니다. 따지자면 전혀 다른 두 개의 단어를 그 차이를 읽어내지 못해서 같은 단어로 번역했다고 할 것입니다.

그런데 lobha-dosa-moha와 rāga-dosa-moha의 두 가지 조합은 삶의 깊은 영역을 설명합니다. 마음이 몸과 함께 작용하는 표면의 삶의 영역을 지배하는, 몸의 참여 없이 마음 홀로 작용하는 내면의 삶의 영역입니다. 삶의 심오함의 끝을 보아내서 설명하는 부처님의 깨달음과 가르침의 중심 자리입니다.

탐(貪)-진(嗔)-치(癡)라는 번역은 바로 그 깨달음, 바로 그 가르침을 혼선으로 이끈 것입니다. 그래서 lobha-dosa-moha와 rāga-dosa-moha에 대한 차별적 번역이 필요합니다. 그래야 삶의 심오함의 끝에 대한 부처님의 설명을 깨달음 그대로, 가르침 그대로 배워 알 수 있습니다.

이 책에서는 lobha-dosa-moha와 rāga-dosa-moha의 차이를 규명하고, 구별하여 사용합니다. 뒤에 자세히 설명할 것이지만, lobha-dosa-moha는 망(望)-진(嗔)-치(癡)로, rāga-dosa-moha는 탐(貪)-진(嗔)-치(癡)로 번역하였습니다. 이때, 진(嗔)과 치(癡)도 망(望)과 조합을 이루는지 또는 탐(貪)과 조합을 이루는지에 따라 우리말 해석을 구별하였습니다. 동사의 과거분사를 포함하여 이 책에서 사용하는 번역어를 표로 작성하였는데, 심(心)과의 관계를 반영하였습니다. 요약하자면, 탐(貪)-진(嗔)-치(癡)는 심(心)이 생기는 과정에서 생겨나 심(心)의 몸통을 구성하는 것이고, 망(望)-진(嗔)-치(癡)는 생겨난 심(心)이 가지는 성질로서 심(心)을 원인으로 하는 행위의 뿌리가 됩니다.

한편, 삶은 골격을 가지고 전개됩니다. 인식과 행위라는 삶의 두 측면이 서로 연결된 순환구조 위에서 순간의 삶을 누적하며 이 세상과 저 세상에 걸쳐 변화하는 것인데, 근본경전연구회는 이런 삶의 구조를 「삶의 메커니즘」으로 그려내었습니다.

망(望)-탐(貪)-진(嗔)-치(癡)를 구명하는 이 책은 「삶의 메커니즘」 위에서 설명되고, 이런 설명은 되돌아와 「삶의 메커니즘」을 확인해 줍니다. 십이연기(十二緣起)의 중심 주제인 「삶의 메커니즘」은 불교(佛敎)를 부처님에게로 되돌리는 이 불사(佛事)가 아니면 그려지지 않습니다. 이 책에 이어 십이연기(十二緣起) 또는 「삶의 메커니즘」으로 출판될 책에서 자세히 설명할 것인데, 이 책에서는 그 결과를 그림으로 제시하고, 간략한 서술만으로 망(望)-탐(貪)-진(嗔)-치(癡)의 구명을 위한 토대로 삼았습니다. 이제 「삶의 메커니즘」이란 토대 위에서 망(望)-탐(貪)-진(嗔)-치(癡)는 비로소 그 정체를 드러내게 되었습니다.

그런데 「삶의 메커니즘」은 망(望)-탐(貪)-진(嗔)-치(癡)를 확장된 영역으로 이끕니다. 망(望)-탐(貪)-진(嗔)-치(癡)는 삶의 가장 깊은 곳에 위치하지만 메커니즘적 전개에 의해 표면의 영역에 대한 영향 또는 연결된 과정을 보여주는 것입니다. 그리고 이 과정의 전개에는 무명(無明)이 따라가는데, 치(癡)의 작용[어두움]이 삶의 근저에서 함께하는 것입니다. 그래서 이 책은 순환구조에 의한 두 갈래의 전개를 중심에 두고 서술됩니다.

• 무명루(無明漏)-무명(無明) → ①[정상(淨想) → 탐(貪) → 심(心) → 망(望) → 친밀(親密) → 간탐(慳貪) → 욕탐(欲貪) → 정상(淨相) → 정상(淨想) → 탐(貪) …]

• 또는 ②[저항의 상(想) → 진(嗔)① → 심(心) → 진(嗔)② → 거슬림 → 진에(瞋恚) → 욕탐(欲貪) → 저항의 상(相) → 저항의 상(想) → 진(嗔)] …」의 순환적 삶의 과정을 보여줍니다.

이렇게 망(望)과 탐(貪)의 차별과 「삶의 메커니즘」 그리고 순환구조에 의해 확장된 두 갈래의 전개는 이 책의 구성을 설명해 줍니다.


• 제1권 ㅡ 개념의 서술

• 제2권 ㅡ 선별된 경전

• 제3권 ㅡ 「망(望)-진(嗔)-치(癡)와 탐(貪)-진(嗔)-치(癡)」의 내면의 영역

• 제4권 ㅡ 「망(望) → 친밀 → 간탐(慳貪) → 욕탐(欲貪)」의 중간의 영역

• 제5권 ㅡ 상(相)과 연결된 몸과 세상 즉 표면의 영역. 특히, 「탐(貪)-진(嗔)-치(癡)와 몸」

• 제6권 ㅡ 내면의 영역에서 발생하는 문제와 해소 ㅡ 「탐(貪)-진(嗔)-치(癡)와 심(心)」

심의식(心意識) - 식의 윤회(사띠비구)- 심상(心相)(해피스님이야기 190929)





심의식(心意識) - 식의 윤회(사띠비구) - 심상(心相)(해피스님이야기 190929)

    0   468 2019.10.02 10:19

24 https://youtu.be/0au6PwhuRTo



▣ 심의식(心意識) - 식의 윤회(사띠비구) - 심상(心相)(해피스님이야기 190929)



[동영상] https://youtu.be/0au6PwhuRTo







불교학연구회 논문 발표회에서 만난 몇몇 교수님들과의 대화 이야기를 정리하였습니다.







1. 심(心)과 의(意)와 식(識)이라는 세 가지 이름의 마음에서 동질성과 함께 차별성을 볼 수 있어야 한다는 점을 설명하였습니다. → 「조건에 따라 심(心)이라고도 의(意)라고도 식(識)이라고도 불리는 이것, 마음!」







2. 사띠 비구의 일화를 들어 식(識)이 윤회하지 않는다고 말하는 주장의 오류를 지적하였습니다. mahātaṇhāsaṅkhayasuttaṃ (MN 38-갈애 부서짐의 큰 경)(http://sutta.kr/bbs/board.php?bo_table=nikaya05_04_08&wr_id=4)에서 부처님은 식(識)이 윤회한다는 사띠 비구의 말을 꾸짖는 것이 아니라, 그 식이 ‘말하고 경험되어야 하는 이것이 여기저기서 선하고 악한 업(業)들의 보(報)를 경험한다.’라는 두 번째 대답에서 꾸짖습니다. 식(識)의 윤회를 부정하는 것이 아니고 상견(常見)에 대한 지적이라는 것을 알 수 있습니다.







또한, 어떤 교수님의 ‘잘못 가르치고 있었네요.’라는 말씀에 대해 ‘그렇기는 하지만 교수님의 책임은 아닐 것입니다. 모두가 그렇게 알고 있었으니까요.’라고 답한 점도 주목해야 할 것입니다.







3. 어떤 법사님은 몸의 참여 없이 마음 혼자 작용하는 영역 즉 takka[갈애의 형성 또는 자기화 과정]에 대한 경전 근거를 물었습니다. 직접적인 표현이 있는 것이 아니고, 경들을 꿰어서 삶을 이해할 때 알 수 있는 내용이라고 답하였습니다. 특히, 상(相-nimitta)과 심상(心相-cittassa nimitta)에 대한 이해가 선행되어야 알 수 있을 것이라고 하였습니다.

모두의 평화 - 통일뉴스

모두의 평화 - 통일뉴스



모두의 평화<연재>정상덕의 평화일기(47)
정상덕  |  tongil@tongilnews.com
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승인 2018.02.26  18:30:01
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정상덕 (원불교 교무)



  
▲ 평화를 제 눈앞에서 나누고 싶었습니다. [사진제공-정상덕 교무]
평화일기를 쓰는 이유는

“마음은 형체가 없으므로 형상을 볼 수 없다고 하며, 성품은 언어가 끊어졌으므로 말로 가히 할 수 없다고만 한다면 이는 참으로 성품을 본 사람이 아니니, 이에 마음의 형상과 성품의 체가 완연히 눈 앞에 있어서 눈을 궁글리지 아니하고도, 능히 보며 입만 열면 바로 말할 수 있어야 가히 밝게 불성을 본 사람이라고 하리라”[대종경 성리품 6장]는 소태산 대종사님의 말씀을 새기며 평화를 제 눈앞에서 나누고 싶었습니다.

몸으로 밀고 나가야하는 글쓰기로 책임있는 평화인이 되고자 했습니다. 글을 쓰는 것은 사실을 바탕으로 써야 했기에 한 문장 한 문장 진실과 마주해야하는 고통이었습니다. 평화의 글쓰기는 과거, 현재, 미래를 화해시키기도 합니다. 

평화일기를 쓰며 만난 르 코르뷔지에, 라이너스 폴링, 마리아 몬테소리, 함석헌, 넬슨 만델라, 무함마드 유누스. 이 여섯 분은 현장에서 끊임없이 평화와 비평화로 갈등하는 제게 묵직한 울림과 함께 듬직한 응원군이 되어 다시 세상의 평화를 향한 발걸음을 옮길 수 있도록 등을 밀어주는 평화의 실천가들이셨습니다.

평화를 담고 싶습니다.


이 세상 모든 전쟁과 갈등을 해결할 힘은 무엇일까요? 원불교 소태산대종사님의 마음 사용하는 법(用心法)을 알아차리고 부터는 선입관념이나 차별성이 아닌 일하는 현장과 만나는 사람의 행동을 판단의 중심에 세우려고 공부하고 있습니다.

세상의 흐름도 골상(骨相), 관상(觀相), 심상(心相)을 지나 태도를 중요시하는 태상(態相)의 시대입니다. ‘마음공부를 하는 것은 써먹기 위함에 있다’는 소태산 대종사님의 말씀, ‘물질이 개벽되니 정신을 개벽하자’는 그 정신을 평화의 솥에 담고자 평화일기는 시작되었습니다.

평화와 걷고 싶습니다.

세상을 잇는 평화일기는 종교와 세상의 현장을 걸어 다닌 이야기입니다.

평화는 흙냄새 풍기는 발바닥에서 나와서 양심의 혼을 따라 흐르는 강물과 같습니다.

평화는 허리를 숙인만큼 많이 만날 수 있는 전율 같은 것이었습니다.

평화일기는 제 몸으로 들어온 평화라는 가치를 관찰하는 이야기입니다.

평화를 짓고 싶습니다.

2018년 현재 제 삶의 중심은 원불교소태산기념관 건립현장에 있습니다.

건축 책임자로서 건축허가, 건축설계, 철거, 건축시공, 건축감리, 건축감독 그리고 건축 노동형제들과 만나며 평화는 더욱 중요한 실천덕목이 되었습니다.

‘안전이 평화’이고, 정직한 공정이 평화입니다. 건축에 사람을 향한 온정과 가치를 담은 이름을 부여하고 함께 하는 평화의 정신이 깃들고 작동하는 건축물 짓는데 힘을 보태고 싶습니다.

평화를 잇고 싶습니다.

원불교 성지인 경북 성주 소성리 사드배치 후 촉발된 원불교 평화운동을 전개하며, 성지 수호를 넘어 더 큰 평화운동의 관점으로 가고자하는 고민이 있었습니다. 평화를 외부자의 시선으로 만나보고 싶었습니다. 

인류의 보편적 희망인 평화를 만나고자 동시대에 사회 전분야에서 미지의 길을 개척해 걸어간 평화실천자들의 삶의 궤적이 소태산의 평화정신과 어떻게 연결되는지 발견하고 싶었습니다.

유아평화교육의 개척자 마리아 몬테소리에서 근대건축의 거장 르 코르뷔지에, 두 번의 노벨상 수상자인 과학자 라이너스 폴링, 종교인이자 씨알사상가 함석헌, 정치가 넬슨 만델라에 이어 경제학자 무함마드 유누스. 이 여섯 분은 20세기 동시대에 태어나 살았다는 시대적 공통점이 있습니다. 

이는 원불교 창교자이신 소태산 대종사가 탄생한 1891년의 시대성과도 촘촘히 연결됩니다. 이들의 민족과 활동영역은 아프리카에서 서유럽과 남유럽, 아시아, 아메리카까지 전세계 지도위를 이으며 연결됩니다.

여섯 분은 평생 일면식도 없는 관계였지만 인류를 위해 무엇을 해야 할지? 평생 고뇌하며 조롱, 비난과 위협을 받음에도 ‘인류 공동선을 향한 평화’라는 신념을 각자의 자리에서 포기하지 않으셨던 분들입니다. 인간과 세상에 대한 연민성을 바탕으로 불평등한 사회구조에 직면, 각 전문 분야에서 진실과 진리를 구현하며 행동하는 양심의 원형질로 진화시켜나갔습니다. 

인류는 원래 하나의 생태, 하나의 연결고리로 이어져 있습니다. 그러나, 어느 순간에 인간의 욕심으로 그 원래이던 하나의 고리가 끊어졌지요. 그 고리를 다시 잇는다는 것이 불교의 연기론 사상이며, 끊어진 원이 회복되어 이어질 수 있도록 한 사람, 한 사람이 일어서는 것이 원불교 일원사상입니다. 

지난 겨울, 광장의 촛불에서 보여준 한 사람의 힘을 세계는 여전히 주목하고 있습니다. 모두의 평화를 향하여 공익적으로 재구성하고, 실천의 발걸음을 옮겨 앞으로의 평화로 이어가도록 오늘도 적공 정진하겠습니다.
 


원기 103년 2월 26일 정상덕 합장



  
 
원불교 교무로서 30여년 가깝게 시민사회와 소통하고 함께해 왔으며, 원불교백년성업회 사무총장으로 원불교 100주년을 뜻 깊게 치러냈다.

사회 교화 활동에 주력하여 평화, 통일, 인권, 정의와 민주주의를 바로 세우는 일에 늘 천착하고 있다.