2022/12/30

Why there is no way back for religion in the West | David Voas | TEDxUni...






======
Transcript


0:00
Translator: Leonardo Silva Reviewer: Peter van de Ven
0:06
Hello.
0:07
My name is David Voas,
0:09
and I'm going to be talking about religion.
0:11
Now, I know some of you are really tempted to dash for the exit at this stage,
0:15
but I should explain that I'm a quantitative social scientist,
0:20
and I'm going to be talking about the decline of religion in the Western World.
0:24
Now, whether measured by belonging, believing, participation in services,
0:30
or how important it's felt to be in life,
0:33
religion is losing ground across the Western world.
0:37
Society is being transformed, and the momentum seems to be unstoppable.
0:43
Well, at this point, you might be asking yourself a couple of questions.
0:46
First, is it actually true?
0:49
And even if religion is losing ground, could things change in the future?
0:55
I'm going to argue that, yes, it really is true,
0:58
and, no, things won't change.
1:01
Modernization has predictable and permanent effects,
1:04
one of which I call the secular transition.
1:09
Well,
1:11
it's not the case that the pattern of decline
1:13
is that people reach the age of 30 or 40 or 50
1:17
and suddenly decide that they're not religious anymore.
1:20
What happens is they enter adulthood being less religious than their parents were.
1:26
So there's a process of generational replacement,
1:29
where older people who are more religious die out,
1:32
and they're replaced in the population by younger people coming up behind.
1:37
And that's a process that's been happening for decades now across the Western world -
1:42
in some cases, for a century or more.
1:47
Let me take as the example whether people say they have a religion.
1:53
And I'll use the example particularly of New Zealand,
1:55
which has a question on the census about this.
1:59
If you look at this graph,
2:00
the horizontal axis at the bottom shows year of birth.
2:05
So we go from the beginning of the 20th century, on the left,
2:08
to late 20th century, on the right.
2:11
And you can see that for the oldest generations,
2:15
those on the left-hand side,
2:16
virtually everybody says that they have a religion.
2:19
And you come down to the right-hand side,
2:22
and roughly two-thirds say they don't.
2:26
So that's a remarkable shift
2:28
to have happened in the course of less than a century.
2:32
Well, this sort of story is found throughout the Western world,
2:37
even in the United States, which is often thought to be an exception.
2:41
Things have started more recently there,
2:44
the process is still only just starting to be noticed,
2:49
but it is happening.
2:50
I'll come back to the US in a moment.
2:53
And it's similar whatever measure we take.
2:55
So it's the same for attendance at services, for example.
2:59
Well, you might be thinking,
3:02
"Okay, the old Christian denominations are struggling,
3:05
people don't identify with them so much, they may not be going to services,
3:08
but surely, they still believe in God,
3:11
or at any rates, they're spiritual in some sense
3:14
even if they're not religious."
3:17
Well, here is the United States,
3:19
and this shows the proportion of the people
3:24
who say they know God really exists and they have no doubts about it,
3:29
again by year of birth -
3:30
older people on the left, younger people on the right.
3:34
And you can see that in the older section of the population,
3:38
something of the order of three-quarters,
3:40
say they know God really exists,
3:42
and that falls to not much better than 2 in 5
3:46
for people born later in the 20th century.
3:50
Or Canada, for example,
3:52
where we have data on the importance in life
3:56
of religious or indeed spiritual beliefs.
4:00
And here again, we see a sharp generational gradient,
4:03
from something like two-thirds of the oldest generation
4:07
saying that these beliefs are very important to them,
4:10
and that drops down to something like 1 in 5
4:13
for the youngest adult generations.
4:18
Well, as you look at those, you may be well wondering
4:21
whether I'm simply comparing the effect of being old
4:25
with the effect of being young.
4:27
Is it the case that people become more religious as they get older?
4:31
Well, we have census and survey data going back quite a number of years -
4:36
decades, in fact -
4:37
across the Western World now,
4:38
and we can answer that question.
4:40
And the answer is no.
4:42
On average, people within a given generation don't change
4:46
across the adult-life course.
4:48
So what we're seeing is not the effect of age,
4:50
but permanent generation gaps.
4:53
Lack of religion isn't just a stage that young people are going through.
5:00
So this idea that there's something about modernization
5:05
that erodes religious commitments,
5:08
that reduces the respect accorded to religion,
5:11
is known as the secularization thesis.
5:14
And there are a couple of objections that are commonly raised nowadays
5:18
to the secularization thesis.
5:20
One is the example of the United States,
5:22
which is modern, and yet religion seems to thrive.
5:26
And if it's an exception, then surely no generalizations are possible.
5:31
The other objection that's commonly raised
5:33
is that we're looking at change, not decline,
5:37
and that while those old, conventional churches may well be struggling,
5:42
there are new churches, new religious movements -
5:44
Mormons and Pentecostals, for example -
5:47
there's alternative spirituality and indeed non-Christian faiths,
5:52
like Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism,
5:55
that are gaining ground across the West.
5:59
Well, as I mentioned a moment ago,
6:01
even in the United States, in fact,
6:05
it seems that decline has set in.
6:08
We only just have the data now to notice,
6:11
but it seems that it started a few decades ago.
6:15
And it's following the same pattern of generational replacement
6:18
that we've observed elsewhere in the West.
6:21
And while it is the case that there have been developments,
6:26
particularly immigration,
6:28
that have brought people from more religious countries
6:30
into the Western world,
6:32
those effects aren't big enough to reverse the main trend.
6:38
So -
6:40
so far so good,
6:42
or so bad, depending on your view of religion.
6:46
Secularization is happening.
6:48
But there's still a big question.
6:51
You may be asking,
6:52
"Isn't it possible that the popularity of religion could be restored,
6:55
even in the Western world?"
6:58
After all, faith promises benefits
7:01
that are difficult or impossible to obtain any other way.
7:06
It offers meaning, purpose, solace,
7:10
ultimate justice, life after death,
7:13
the prospect of being reunited with loved ones,
7:15
and so on.
7:20
Isn't it the case, you might be wondering,
7:22
that nothing is irreversible?
7:29
There's a reluctance nowadays, I think,
7:32
to believe that we're converging towards some determined future.
7:39
This is a notion that was popular in the mid 20th century,
7:42
but that's fallen out of favor.
7:45
It reminds us now a bit of the Victorian idea of progress,
7:49
where the highest form of civilization
7:51
is represented by people who are remarkably just like us.
7:57
And yet, modernization does have effects.
8:01
We can look at, for example, the Human Development Index,
8:04
which is calculated each year by a United Nations agency.
8:09
It's based on life expectancy,
8:12
years of education,
8:14
national income per capita.
8:16
And on that score,
8:19
Norway is currently at the top;
8:21
Niger, in Africa, is at the bottom.
8:24
And as you look down this list of all the different countries in the world,
8:28
it's very apparent
8:29
that the most highly developed countries are the least religious
8:33
and the least developed countries are the most religious.
8:38
Now, there are some exceptions.
8:40
There are the countries on the Arabian Peninsula, for example,
8:44
that produce oil, are off the trend line.
8:47
They're rich, but religious.
8:49
But in the mid 20th century,
8:51
they were underdeveloped and very traditional.
8:56
So it's certainly the case
8:57
that religious decline comes very late in the process of modernization,
9:02
but it does come, at least if societies modernize.
9:10
If we think about
9:15
the very question about whether religion can decline in society,
9:22
it's often objected that most of the world is religious.
9:25
And that's very true,
9:26
but then, most of the world isn't very highly developed.
9:30
So I'm talking specifically about the 40 or 50 countries
9:34
that have gone furthest down the path of modernization,
9:38
places in Europe, North America, Australia, New Zealand,
9:42
a few in East Asia, a few in Latin America.
9:46
The 140, 150 countries elsewhere are very different.
9:57
It's not easy to specify the causal mechanisms,
9:59
and indeed, it would take another few talks
10:02
to even try to sketch some of the factors
10:06
that might connect modernizaton with problems for religion.
10:11
But to name just a few:
10:13
prosperity brings choice
10:15
and an unwillingness to defer to traditional authority;
10:20
secular and scientific worldviews start to displace religious worldviews;
10:26
communications and geographical mobility
10:29
bring people into contact with different cultures and beliefs;
10:34
and physical and material security
10:37
seem to reduce the need for the solace provided by spirituality.
10:44
Now, whether any or perhaps all of these factors operate,
10:50
it's clear that there's something about the process of modernization
10:53
that does cause problems for religion.
11:02
Moreover, it's very difficult for religion to bounce back.
11:08
We do know of some places
11:10
where religious involvement has increased in recent decades,
11:14
but those are typically places where national elites had suppressed religion
11:20
or imposed a degree of secularity that was lower
11:24
than the development of the country would find natural.
11:30
So one thinks, for example, of Iran, the former Soviet Union, China,
11:35
even Turkey perhaps -
11:37
but when those regimes fell or restrictions were relaxed,
11:40
religion rebounded to something that was more like an appropriate level,
11:45
given the degree of modernization.
11:50
So the secular transition is underway,
11:54
but why should it be irreversible?
11:58
I think the key reason is that people with no religion
12:01
have great difficulty in acquiring one.
12:04
And if you're wondering why that's the case,
12:07
it might help in understanding this
12:10
to think about a religion that's not your own.
12:13
Now, I'm going to guess that most of you watching aren't Hindu.
12:17
Apologies to those of you who are.
12:19
You can think of a different religion.
12:22
But here, as an example, are some of the Hindu deities.
12:29
And here are some scenes of Hindu worship.
12:34
Now, some of you may decide that Hinduism is the faith that you've been looking for,
12:39
but I suspect that for most of you, it seems a bit exotic, strange,
12:45
maybe even slightly scary.
12:48
And I suggest that that's the position
12:51
that a large proportion of young adults in the West are in
12:54
with respect to any religion.
12:58
They weren't brought up going to church, and they don't feel comfortable attending.
13:04
They didn't grow up with Christian doctrine.
13:06
That's not to say they won't become Christian.
13:09
Some of them will. Many will.
13:12
Some will become Hare Krishna or Muslim or Buddhist.
13:16
But most won't,
13:17
and for most, in fact, it's nearly impossible.
13:22
You have to be raised with a religion to find it natural.
13:27
Now, I'm not suggesting that religious belief is inherently implausible
13:31
or religious practice is inherently odd.
13:37
On the contrary.
13:39
What I want to argue is that it's a matter of custom and culture.
13:43
So in the past, in the West,
13:47
most people had a religion, at least nominally.
13:50
Most people had some sort of religious knowledge.
13:54
Religious involvement was the norm,
13:57
and it was supported by culture and popular sentiment.
14:02
These days, the default is quite the reverse.
14:05
Many people grow up with very little acquaintance with religion
14:09
or religious identity.
14:12
Religion has become almost countercultural,
14:16
indeed to the extent that people who have any contact with religion,
14:20
it's often in news stories about extremism or abuse or intolerance.
14:26
And that's simply not conducive for religious revival.
14:33
I'm not arguing that Westerners are all rationalist,
14:36
with a naturalistic worldview.
14:39
On the contrary.
14:41
A large proportion, at least half, believe in God or something out there,
14:46
a higher power perhaps.
14:49
Another large, perhaps non-overlapping proportion
14:52
believe in some form of life after death.
14:56
But for most people, it's not something they're really interested in,
15:00
it's not something that's very important in their lives;
15:02
they have little interest in becoming religiously active.
15:09
So the secular transition is underway.
15:14
Because it proceeds by generational replacements,
15:18
it works very slowly and will be going on for years to come.
15:23
When it comes to human beings, nothing is certain,
15:28
but I hope that I've shown you that there's a good argument
15:32
there's no way back for religion in the West.
15:35
Thank you.
15:36
(Applause)



=====
xmrtuvgs
I was raised with religion, and by the time I was 13, I was already wondering about all the logical inconsistencies, and not wanting any thing to do with it. Later in life, I took a deeper look, and know for sure, religious way of seeing the world, is not for me.
108
The Great Gazoo
I was fortunate enough to be born into a family that believed that your religion is your own business. We were taken to church and enrolled in sunday school, but were not forced to attend. It was a long time ago, so I can't be sure, but I think I attended two, maybe three, sunday school classes before I concluded it was nonsense and never went back.
15
Gretchen Robinson
What a relief to hear this. Now 7 years later it's even more so.
55
Jennifer Bates
I'm a 3rd generation Athesit. I am from Rhode Island, USA. My kids are 4th generation. I was raised with love, logic, and education. Same is with my children.
27
Aniket Tripathi
When we have conception of that's it,means we have chosen to close all the doors to progress further. We forget that progress is a journey never destination. Whatever we achieve is just one more milestones never final goal /achievement.
4
Sally
I was raised evangelical (the one TRUE religion according to them) and started falling away during high school. I continued going to church for a year or two just to please my mother. When I left home that was the end of church going for me. It took me 35-40 years to work through the indoctrination but at age 75 I can now call me myself a proud atheist. I don't want to believe, I want to know the truth. I'm a science gal now.
Show less
100
Roach Man
What separates me from my parents, their parents, so forth is i grew up with access to the internet, the ability to read and learn about anything i wanted, all they knew was what they were taught by their parents, i have more options to pursue what feels right for me. Those before me didn't have the same options i do with all the knowledge that a few pushes on a keyboard with google can bring. Those before us really only had one thing in the religious category that they knew about, and doors opened up for us presenting us with many different belief systems and religions, it has become more of a people know can carve their own paths instead of going down ones already laid out for us. The ability to be more independent in your religious beliefs i think is quiet nice.
Show less
29
Investing for Tomorrow
After being an early member of a church, I began evolving into a scientific materialist, however, I experienced an epiphany (Job 4: 13-15) during the controversial Vietnamese war. It made me believe that the spark of life is in every breathing human being and should be revered. Voas presents some thoughtful and learned observations.
5
Julian I
As a norwegian I can confirm you pretty much take it for granted that everyone you meet is not religious. And if someone is, one almost assumes they have some emotional trauma they are dealing with. Most "religious" beliefe is a deeply private, personal thing, here. Often found among middle aged or older women who are fairly conservative and kind, concerned with children. It's hardly a theme, here, generally. Nobody speaks much about it in public. It's a matter between friends and family. Something you open up about to your partner or close friend.
Show less
436
Robert Davidson
Yeah, Norway is pretty messed up.
33
clavo
Very important comment. It is within Christian Biblical teaching: "I did not come for the righteous." Wonder what the Norwegian view of right and wrong; or, justice is?
5
Julian I
 @clavo  Humanitarian views grounded in evolutionary biology, mosty. It's in everyones interest to live in a world where we treat each other well. Other animals do that to a large extent, too. Us humans have just expanded and expanded our circle of moral consideration past tribes, race and even species to some degree. And we have been able to do that thanks to our ability to think ahead, reflect on our values and actions, and our advanced communication skills. Other than that we are just another animal. So essentially - just like religious morality - it is grounded in an internal desire to be personally rewarded in the long run. It's just that the reason for it being "good" is grounded in our universal interests to avoid suffering, and seek pleasure/comfort. "It is good to help my neighbour, because then he will be good to me back, spread the rumour of my kindness, and it will reward me in the long run" - hence our emotional motivators gives us positive emotions when we help our neighbour. Most norwegians probably never think about this, tho, and only act according to what they have learned is socially acceptable, or what their empathy guides them away from doing. Most people seem to be motivated mostly by a desire to be socially accepted, which is understandable for a social species. But this social trait is also what can lead to moral disasters. It's the dark side of a social species, that most people are willing to do terrible things in order to fit in with their "group". Other norwegians who are privately spiritually minded might appeal to a supernatural authority to ground morality, similar to christians. Hope this can help you understand :)
Show less
81
clavo
 @Julian I  It makes logical sense to me. Only thing it leaves out is the experience of miracles. That's interesting about your view that "we are only animals." I would argue that clairvoyance is real and that is different from human to human telepathy that even dogs and horses can easily engage in. I'm referring to the cosmos type signaling. But, that's me. Others may have different experiences.
Show less
4
Julian I
 @clavo  I like that you brought that up. I myself have had experiences that seemed to trancend time, and I have a difficult time fitting that into my mostly materialistic worldview. My experiences MIGHT be only my own misremembering and misinterpreting. I find that more likely, to be honest, but I'm still not convinced that there isn't some dimension that trancends ours and has to do with consciousness. And if there is, animals are part of that, too. In my own experience with other animals they have as much a sophisticated ability to sense and feel, as we do, perhaps even a greater ability. Only they can't theorize and make logical meaning out of it - something humans seem to be pretty obsessed with, haha.
Show less
24
clavo
 @Julian I  The ability for humans to train animals is pretty wonderful. A recent documentary of TV discussed how a chemical in cat feces was effective in making mice docile and thus more available to cats as prey. If predators can do that then maybe having dogs and cats as pets isn't such a great idea.
2
Julian I
 @clavo  Interesting, maybe so. There are great health benefits in companion animals too, though. And it's always great to help someone who needs a home.
16
Wille k
Hi. As someone who reads a lot of history, the number one error I find in common parlance is how people think they are special. "I can't believe X still happens, it's 2021." They assume their own generation's psychological hardware have evolved. It's extremely arrogant. The rubber hits the road for me when, more or less all people from the dawn of time, were generally distinctly religious societies – except for us. I don't have a clear answer about what we're missing by generational absence from religion, but it's worth asking what is the cost? What positive aspects of religion are we missing after many generations of religion being undermined? If you're not religious, like me, there is still value in finding a secular replacement for what ever we might be losing out on. Thank you.
20
Julian I
 @Wille k  I think I agree with you. Thank you for pointing out it can be kind of arrogant. In other areas I see that clearly, but for some reason I had a blindspot here. Thanks for pointing it out :)
2
Doug M
 @Robert Davidson  compared to where exactly?
10
Robert Davidson
 @Doug M  without needing comparison
2
sibanought
 @Doug M  As RD said; WITHOUT NEEDING COMPARISON !!!
3

[ 자격지심과 열등감 뜻과 차이] 자격지심과 열등감 극복, 어떻게 할 것인가? : 네이버 블로그

[ 자격지심과 열등감 뜻과 차이] 자격지심과 열등감 극복, 어떻게 할 것인가? : 네이버 블로그

[자격지심과 열등감 뜻과 차이] 자격지심과 열등감 극복, 어떻게 할 것인가?
179 19
강남심리치료센터


"나는 내가 싫어요. 왜 이리 모자랄까요.
잘하는게 하나도 없어요!"
"학교 이야기만 나오면 말문이 막혀 버려요.
대화에 낄 수 없고 화제를 돌리게 돼요.
언제까지 이렇게 살아야 하죠?"
"외모에 자신이 없어요. 성형수술을 했지만
여전히 못생긴 것 같고 그래서 사람들이
무시하고 싫어할 것만 같아요."
"열심히 살았고 나름대로 성공했지만
여전히 나를 무시할 것만 같아요.

멋진 차와 명품 옷을 입었지만 내 마음은
달라지지 않아요. 나는 변할 수 없는 걸까요?."
많은 분들이 자기에 대해 부정적 느낌을
갖고 괴로움을 호소하십니다.
멋지고, 예쁘고, 나름대로 성공하신
분들에게도 자신이 없고,
사람들에게 무시당할 것만 같은
두려움에 빠져 있는 안타까운 모습들을
자주 보게 됩니다.
오늘은 우리의 삶을
자유롭고 만족스럽지 못하도록 방해하는
자격지심과 열등감 극복, 어떻게 할 것인가?
에 대해서 말씀 드리고자 합니다.

열등감의 뜻
다른 사람에 비하여 자신이 뒤떨어졌다거나
자신에게 능력이 없다고 생각하는 만성적인
감정과 생각을 말합니다.
자격지심의 뜻
자기가 한 일에 대하여 스스로
미흡하게 여기는 마음을 말합니다.
179 19
강남심리치료센터
위의 두 용어는 비슷하게 보이지만,
약간의 차이점이 있습니다.
차이점은 부정적 자기 감정이 어디에서
기인하는가?...입니다.
타인과의 비교
자기자신
자격지심이 자기자신에 대해 전반적인
부정적 감정을 갖는다는 점에서
좀더 포괄적 의미를 가지고 있다고
볼 수 있습니다.
공통점은 자기자신에 대해 부정적 감정이
있다는 점입니다.
낮은 자존감이 원인이 되는 것입니다.
자격지심과 열등감은 피해의식을 갖게하여
지나치게 방어적이거나, 공격적이 되어
대인관계에서 문제가 될 수 있습니다.

자격지심과 열등감의 특징과 종류
자신을 무능하고 무가치한 존재로 여기고
자기를 부정하고 혐오하기도 합니다.
합리적이거나 이성적이지 못하고 불안한
생각에 사로 잡혀 있거나 이상 행동이
나타나기도 하고, 항상 자기는 모자라며
경쟁에서 질 것이라는 부정적 생각에
빠져 있습니다.
종류는 다양합니다.
179 19
강남심리치료센터
외모, 학력, 체력, 운동능력, 부모, 자녀,
사회적 지위, 경제력, 종교, 지적능력,
인간관계, 대화능력, 심리적 안정감,
애인 또는 배우자, 음악적 감각,
직장, 사회적 경험, 자기존재 등.
사람들은 저마다 어떤 부분에서는
남보다 못하다는 마음을 갖고 있습니다.
그런데 어떤 분들은 자신의 모든 부분에서
낮은 자존감으로 부족하다고 느끼고
열등하다는 지나친 생각이 있습니다.

이러한 자신에 대한 부정적인 감정은
우울증이나 불안장애의 원인이 될 수
있기에 반드시 극복해야 합니다.
인간은 한계가 있는 존재입니다.
완전하려고 애쓰는 대신
자신의 한계를 받아 들이고
부족한 자신을 편안하고
떳떳해지도록 노력해야 합니다!

자격지심과 열등감 극복,
어떻게 할 것인가?
심리치료를 하면서 나름대로 성공적인
극복 사례를 돌아보며 극복을 위한
효과적인 방법에 대해 소개합니다.
소개하기 앞서,
먼저 자격지심과 열등감 극복을 위해서는
자신의 의식과 무의식을
들여다 보아야 합니다.
의식은 쉽게 말하면 자신이 기억하고 있고,
알고 있는 것을 말합니다.
무의식은 자신이 잘 알아차리지 못하는 것,
기억이 나지 않는 것을 말합니다.
이 두 영역에서 크게 영향을 주는 것은
무의식적인 것입니다.
무의식적인 것도 깊은 자기 성찰을 한다면
알아 차릴 수 있지만 혼자하기에는
어렵거나 시간이 많이 걸릴 수 있습니다.
무의식적인 부분을 극복하기 위해서는
전문가의 도움을 받으시는 것이 좋습니다.
전문가의 도움을 받으시기 어려운 분들은
솔직하게 자신의 내면을 탐색하면서
아래의 방법을 실천해 보시기 바랍니다.

자격지심과 열등감 극복 방법 1
내면을 탐색하라!
무엇에 자신이 없으신지요?
어떤 계기로 그런 부정적 생각이
마음에 자리 잡게 되었나요?
이러한 부정적 느낌과 인식으로

얼마나 고통받고 계신지요?
자신의 삶과 행동에 어떤 영향을 주었나요?
정직하고 겸허하게 직면해 보시기 바랍니다.

강남심리치료센터
극복 방법 2
인정하고 받아 들이라!
많은 분들이 자신없어 하는 자기 모습을
감추거나 포장합니다.
이러한 억압과 회피는 도움이 되지 못합니다.
탐색하신대로 자신이 없는 자기 모습을
있는 그대로 인정하고 받아 들여야 합니다.
인간은 완전하지 못합니다.
누구나 잘하는 것이 있으면, 상대적으로
모자란 부분이 있기 마련입니다.
완전해 지려고 애쓰는 대신에,
부족함이 있는 자신을 인정하고
사랑하는 것이 필요합니다.

극복 방법 3
비교는 Stop! 자신을 긍정화하라!
우리 사회는 지나친 경쟁주의로 비교하며
불행의 늪에 빠져 살고 있습니다.
사람은 저마다의 아름다움과 가치가
있는 것입니다.
단점이 없는 사람이 없듯이
장점이 없는 사람도 없습니다.
비교하며 자신감을 갉아 먹는
불행의 늪에서 벗어나
자기만의 삶의 가치와 자신의 장점에
주목해 보시기 바랍니다.

최선을 다해 자신의 장점을 찾고
자신을 긍정화 하시기 바랍니다.
극복 방법 4
부족함을 감추지 말고 말하라!
사람들은 보통 자신이 없는 모습은
감추는 경향이 있습니다.
그런데 감추다 보면 더욱 불안해 지고
자기에 대한 부정적 인식이 고착되게 됩니다.

아마도 자신을 완벽하게 생각하는 사람은
거의 없을 것입니다.
나름대로 열등하다고 느끼는 면은
존재하기 마련입니다.
혼자만 자기에 대해 자신없는 마음을
가진 것이 아닙니다.
감추는 것 대신에 차라리 솔직하게
말하고 이해를 구하는 편이 좋습니다.
말하고 나면 시원하고 더이상
감추지 않게 되어 자유로워 집니다.
중요한 것은 자꾸 말하면서 노출하다보면
시간이 자나면서 익숙해 지고
면역력이 생긴다는 점입니다.
경우에 따라 이해받고 공감받을 수도 있고,
혼자만이 아니라 동일한 문제
또는 비슷한 다른 문제에
타인도 고민하고 있다는 것을 알게 되면
더욱 효과적으로 극복하는데
도움이 되기도 합니다.
가까운 분들에게 먼저 시도해 보세요!
주의점은 지나치면 안됩니다.
진지한 분위기와 상황에 따라
노출해야 합니다.