2021/09/27
서양의 세계 종교 입문서는 어떻게 동양을 배제했는가 휴스턴 스미스
2021/09/26
THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE Content table [total pages 421] Bessel Van Der Kolk
THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE Content table [total pages 421]
![](https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Oj5bWmehbw8/YVBAnizH3tI/AAAAAAAAnxc/Ns7v9xHl9icDLMrAqMnjMcEHK1AzHJpZACNcBGAsYHQ/s320/0143127748_1.jpg)
PROLOGUE: FACING TRAUMA
PART ONE: THE REDISCOVERY OF TRAUMA
1. LESSONS FROM VIETNAM VETERANS
2. REVOLUTIONS IN UNDERSTANDING MIND AND BRAIN
3. LOOKING INTO THE BRAIN: THE NEUROSCIENCE REVOLUTION
PART TWO: THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON TRAUMA
4. RUNNING FOR YOUR LIFE: THE ANATOMY OF SURVIVAL
5. BODY-BRAIN CONNECTIONS
6. LOSING YOUR BODY, LOSING YOUR SELF
===
PART THREE: THE MINDS OF CHILDREN [22%, 102]
7. GETTING ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH: ATTACHMENT AND ATTUNEMENT
8. TRAPPED IN RELATIONSHIPS: THE COST OF ABUSE AND NEGLECT
9. WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?
10. DEVELOPMENTAL TRAUMA: THE HIDDEN EPIDEMIC
PART FOUR: THE IMPRINT OF TRAUMA [37%, 168]
11. UNCOVERING SECRETS: THE PROBLEM OF TRAUMATIC MEMORY
12. THE UNBEARABLE HEAVINESS OF REMEMBERING
===
PART FIVE: PATHS TO RECOVERY [44%, 203]
13. HEALING FROM TRAUMA: OWNING YOUR SELF
14. LANGUAGE: MIRACLE AND TYRANNY
15. LETTING GO OF THE PAST: EMDR
16. LEARNING TO INHABIT YOUR BODY: YOGA
17. PUTTING THE PIECES TOGETHER: SELF-LEADERSHIP [61%, 277]
=====
18. FILLING IN THE HOLES: CREATING STRUCTURES [65,296]
19. REWIRING THE BRAIN: NEUROFEEDBACK
20. FINDING YOUR VOICE: COMMUNAL RHYTHMS AND THEATER
EPILOGUE: CHOICES TO BE MADE
APPENDIX: CONSENSUS PROPOSED CRITERIA FOR DEVELOPMENTAL TRAUMA DISORDER[79%,356]
====
RESOURCES [80%, 363]
FURTHER READING
NOTES
=====
1부 트라우마의 재발견
1장 베트남전 참전 군인들이 알게 해 준 교훈
2장 마음과 뇌의 이해, 그 혁신적 변화
3장 뇌 속을 들여다보다: 신경과학의 혁명
2부 트라우마 상태의 뇌
4장 필사적인 도주: 생존의 해부
5장 신체와 뇌의 유대
6장 몸을 잃으면 자기self를 잃는다
===
3부 아이들의 마음
7장 애착과 조율: 동일한 파장을 일으키다
8장 관계의 덫: 학대와 방임의 대가
9장 사랑과는 거리가 먼
10장 발달 과정의 트라우마: 숨겨진 유행병
4부 트라우마의 흔적
11장 비밀의 발견: 트라우마 기억의 문제점
12장 참을 수 없는 기억의 무거움
===
5부 회복으로 가는 길
13장 트라우마로부터의 회복: 트라우마의 치유
14장 언어, 기적이자 고통
15장 과거를 떠나보내는 방법: 안구 운동 민감소실 및 재처리 요법EMDR
16장 내 몸에서 살아가는 법을 배우다: 요가
17장 조각 맞추기: 나를 리드하는 기술
18장 틈새 메우기: 새로운 구조 만들기
19장 뇌 회로의 재연결: 뉴로피드백
20장 잃어버린 목소리 찾기: 공동체의 리듬, 연극 치료
닫는 글 | 선택 앞에서
감사의 글
부록 | 트라우마 발달 장애 진단 기준에 관한 합의안
참고 자료
더 읽을거리
주석
======
영원의 철학 제3장 신성한 나가 되기에 나오는 기억에 대하여
헉슬리의 <영원의 철학> 제3장 신성한 <나>가 되기에 나오는 기억에 대하여
===
이 장에서는 우선 나라는 것은 1, 2, 3의 세가지가 있다고 한다.
우리가 생각하는 나 1,2 (몸과 마음)는 나3 (영혼spirit)가 아니다.
---
나 1,2에 대하여
---
우리는 탐식의 쾌락이나 부절제 또는 관능과 같은 거의 무한한 수의 가능한 대상과 자신을 동일시한다.
- 돈, 권력 또는 명성으로;
- 우리 가족과 함께 소유물로 간주되거나 실제로 우리 자신의 이기심의 확장 및 투영으로 간주되는 것들.
- 우리의 취미, 수집품;
- 우리의 예술적 또는 과학적 재능, 좋아하는 지식 분야;
- 우리의 직업, 정당, 교회;
- 우리의 고통과 질병;
- 성공이나 불행에 대한 기억, 미래에 대한 희망, 두려움 및 계획;
---
그러나 이러한 유혹에 굴복할 필요는 없다. 사람들은 이런 유혹에 저항할 수 있고, 그것들이 자기가 되기에 너무 쉽고 자연스러운 것과 동일시하는 것을 거부할 수 있다. 그러니 그러한 자기와는 완전히 다른 존재가 될 수 있다. 그것은 모든 것의 근원에 존재하는 <영원한, 신성한 실재>이다.
===
세진: 여기에 <기억>이라는 것에 주목한다. <불행에 대한 기억>, 의식적인 것에다 무의식적인 것도 포함하면 트라우마에 상당하는 것이 된다. 몸과 마음이 기억하고 있는 것이다. 없는 것까지 지어내서 기억하는 것도 있을 수 있겠다. 위안부문제도 연결되어있는 이슈이다.
그런데 <신성한 나>라는 것은 그런 몸과 마음에서 벋어나는 것이다. 이런 것에 대하여 이야기하고난 후에, 그것과는 관계없는 가족관계에 대하여 이야기 하다가, 갑자기 트라우마 문제를 다루는 책을 읽자는 생각이 나게 되었다.
낙오천
'낙오천 종오년(樂吾天 終吾年)'
자연을 즐기다, 생을 마감한다는 의미다.
===
이오당(二吾堂)이란 이름은
‘낙오천(樂吾天), 종오년(終吾年)’
즉 자연을 즐기다가 생을 마친다라는 뜻에서 붙였다고 한다.
===
Hyun Ju Kim
낙오천. 나의 하늘을 누리리.
2021/09/25
[책] 성공하는 가족들의 7가지 습관 스티븐 코비 1988
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families: Creating a Nurturing Family in a Turbulent World
![Harini Gopalswami Srinivasan](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1442519491p2/5902577.jpg)
Why can't the rest of humankind do this? I really don't know. Once we have it pointed out to us, we see it; but there is a kind of fog around our brains that prevents us seeing it on our own. Why else are there so many frustrated people, so many unhappy families? it's not because we want to hurt ourselves and those around us, it's because we don't understand how to 'begin with the end in mind', to think clearly about where we want to go and chalk out our flight plan to get there.
If you're a confused mortal wondering why nothing works out the way you want it to, read this book! If you can practise the techniques it describes, good for you! And even if you can't do it all the time, you'll still gain a better understanding of yourself and your problems. You may skip a lot of the stories, examples and re-caps, as I did. but you'll still get enough out of the book to make you glad you read it. (less)
![Dennis Mitton](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1545305177p2/15072306.jpg)
So I read The Seven Habits for Families. There is a lot in here. So much so that I think this is almost better used as a reference book – something to page through every now and then to mull over for a few days. From my vantage the real value of the book comes in the first few chapters when Covey explores the stimulus-pause-response cycle. Something happens – a child breaks a vase or a dad gets a bonus and we have an inclination to act. Act now. To be in the moment, so to speak. Covey takes some pages to show that this space between action and response is where we are able to direct our futures. Our decisions about how to respond set up our future circumstances. It’s a cycle that we can use to point our lives in a direction of our choosing.
Through the rest of the book he focuses on the Seven Habits with applications for families: priorities, relationships, family and personal growth. He spends a good amount of time on the family business plan: putting together a real document that outlines a family’s core principles, priorities, and goals. Take this with a grain of salt and adjust it to your family situation. Other reviewers point out that a family is not a business or a sports team. True enough. But the truism sums it up: it’s easy to get there when you don’t know where you are going. The family plan is an opportunity to talk about what is important and to set common goals. Nothing has to be written in stone. Real business plans certainly aren’t. They set goals and develop plans for how to reach them and then, at regular intervals, assess how they are doing and make requisite changes. I was impressed that Covey stresses that this is not something that is to be churned out in a weekend by dad – it’s not a rule book. He cautions that everyone in the family must be able to take the time they need to think hard about how they and their desires fit into the family. It’s clear to me that the plan is well in play when you simply start thinking about it.
The book settles nicely into Covey’s folksy, ah shucks writing style. It’s easy to read and easy to digest. Some will call it wishful thinking – this is the new millennium after all. Families look different, entertainment looks different, you can have an electronic pet if you prefer. But I think Covey would say that we still want the same thing: parents want their children to grow up to be kind and respectful. We want to enjoy meaningful time with our family and friends. Children want to be understood and listened to. Though the times change human nature remains the same.
People come to these kinds of books with different expectations. For some the book will provide a few useful tips for navigating your family toward a known goal. Others will find it a godsend of wisdom. I find it hard to imagine a family that couldn’t benefit from a reading of the Habits for Families.
(less)
![Mommywest](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1572888173p2/1565000.jpg)
When we lived in student housing at BYU, our stake president (the leader of several LDS congregations) was John Covey, Dr. Covey's brother. We had the privilege of having a half-day seminar given by John and Stephen Covey based on these principles, with break-out sessions given by his wife and daughters and one of the counselors who also worked for Covey. There was no promotion of the company whatsoever; just an excellent discussion of how to build our little budding families in positive, inspired ways. I've always appreciated the time they took out of their busy lives to teach us the doctrines of Jesus Christ and the practical application of them using the experiences they've had in applying the Seven Habits and other truths. (less)
![Erin](https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/f_50x66-6a03a5c12233c941481992b82eea8d23.png)
That said, it was a sound book with a lot of good suggestions. We are actively working on our family dynamics so that we can bring our a-game in anticipation of another child, and this book gave my husband and I a lot of good talking points. I think that's the key to any self-help book like this: you're not going to change just from reading them, but you'll walk away with ideas and things to discuss with your partner, and that's where the change slowly seeps in. See, even "change" is too strong a word because it implies a problem, and you don't need to have a problem to get something from this book. It's more like adding a weight-lifting program to your fitness regime so that you can tone existing muscles. This helps you tone your family structure.
The 7 habits for my own reference are:
1. Be proactive:
rather than reactive
2. Establish a written family or personal mission statement:
Ok yes, this sounds cheesetastic, and no, we haven't done it yet, BUT it is an interesting discussion to talk about what you each think your family's core mission is. Why are you a family unit? What are you hoping to achieve?
3. Put first things first
Your family is first and should be a top priority. Really, actually schedule it on the calendar and treat it like a business meeting. The time is filled, you can't schedule anything else there. This is such a great suggestion, and one we've already put into practice. I had to turn down a fun invitation this Friday because I'd already committed to a storytime with my son. It was on the calendar, so I had that time blocked out for him, and I knew it was a priority for us.
4. Think "win-win"
Boy, isn't this life with a toddler? Every day we try to give him choices (so he feels independent) that we can live with (so we get what we need too). It seems that this extends into older children and family life.
5. Seek first to understand, then to be understood
I loved this one. One thing Covey said that I had to record was that when you love someone, you must love the things they love as much as you love the person themself to truly accept that person.
6. "Synergize"
Find a way to foster family unity through differences, not in spite of.
7. "Sharpen the saw"
Continually work on these 7 things (Covey offers the analogy of a person sawing for two hours to chop down a tree when someone asks if they have tried sharpening the saw. "are you crazy? I can't stop for that!") (less)
![Heather](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1359156501p2/1265674.jpg)
7 Habits:
1: Use your agency/be proactive. Use the pause button to use 4 gifts.
2: Begin with the end in mind (personal, spouse, family motto/creed).
3: Put first things first (one-on-one time, family nights).
4. Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
5. Think win-win
6. Synergy
7. Sharpen the saw
Husband's comment: Covey is a genius. He has taken certain practices/principles of the LDS church and made them available to a general audience and made a fortune.
My favorite take away: the Emotional Bank Account; every interaction with a member of your family can either be a deposit or a withdrawal. (less)
![Teresa Raetz](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1331941711p2/791419.jpg)
![Katie](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1408909484p2/34270033.jpg)
![](https://images.gr-assets.com/hostedimages/1458673517ra/18517352.gif)
Getting through this book was very difficult for me. Not because the content was bad, just because it was very...dense. (Also because I'm bad at reading.) If I was reading very meticulously as I am wont to do, I could only manage a couple pages before my brain was saturated. I think, honestly, it could've done with quite a few less stories and examples, and there were definitely times I felt like though something was quite interesting, it wasn't really necessary. You can tell the guy is very well-learned and...maybe wants to show it. Nevertheless it was all quite fascinating.
The content was really quite good in my opinion, though I'm not quite sure how to describe it. It isn't exactly a 7 step system as one would assume, as those are pretty straightforward. It's more like... 7 methodologies for living? Almost like, psychological principles.
It is definitely very wholesome which I appreciate. He covers the importance of spiritual, social-emotional, physical/economic, and mental aspects of life and their importance. He covers modeling and mentoring. Empathetic LISTENING. Creating a win-win situation instead of the win-lose our culture seems to follow. Making the important (not urgent) a priority in our life.
I would definitely recommend this book to anyone that is a part of a family, wants to have a family, or interacts with people. So basically, everyone. My only hesitation is just the length and density. I know there are abridged versions and cliff notes, those might be able to capture the essential methodologies so if you can't make it through the book, try those. Definitely worth having in your tool bag.
(P.S. I like how for our premarital counseling we were required to read several books that were no where near the quality of this. UGH GET IT TOGETHER, PEOPLE. I would HIGHLY recommend this for anyone getting married or especially recently married. THE END.) (less)
![Barbara](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1397142869p2/2384921.jpg)
![Donna](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1396758075p2/13244359.jpg)
However, in spite of the cynic within, I did find that this book has some practical applications for strengthening families and how to keep things on a positive note. Keeping the end result in mind, was something I wholeheartedly agree with....particularly when it comes to discipline. (less)
![Brian Bojo](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1312568599p2/5968518.jpg)
Numerous anecdotes throughout the book, which are shared by Covey, his family members, and others, provide excellent illustration of the 7 habits. Those of us who learn well via the case method are well served. (less)
![JC](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1240801469p2/2244665.jpg)