2024/02/10

Elfriede Jelinek - Wikipedia

Elfriede Jelinek - Wikipedia


Elfriede Jelinek

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Elfriede Jelinek
Jelinek in 2004
Jelinek in 2004
Born20 October 1946 (age 77)
Mürzzuschlag, Austria
OccupationPlaywright, novelist
EducationUniversity of Vienna
GenreFeminismsocial criticismpostdramatic theatre
Years active1963–present
Notable worksThe Piano TeacherDie Kinder der TotenGreedLust
Notable awardsGeorg Büchner Prize
1998
Nobel Prize in Literature
2004
Signature

Elfriede Jelinek (German: [ɛlˈfʁiːdə ˈjɛlinɛk]; born 20 October 1946) is an Austrian playwright and novelist. She is one of the most decorated authors to write in German and was awarded the 2004 Nobel Prize in Literature for her "musical flow of voices and counter-voices in novels and plays that, with extraordinary linguistic zeal, reveal the absurdity of society's clichés and their subjugating power".[1] She is considered to be among the most important living playwrights of the German language.[2]

Biography[edit]

Elfriede Jelinek was born on 20 October 1946 in MürzzuschlagStyria, the daughter of Olga Ilona (née Buchner), a personnel director, and Friedrich Jelinek.[3] She was raised in Vienna by her Romanian-German Catholic mother and a non-observant Czech Jewish father (whose surname Jelinek means "little deer" in Czech).[3][4][5] Her mother's family came from StájerlakaninaKrassó-Szörény CountyBanat, region, Kingdom of Hungary (now Anina, Romania),[6][better source needed] and was of a bourgeois background, while her father was a working-class socialist.[7]

Her father was a chemist, who managed to avoid persecution during the Second World War by working in strategically important industrial production. However, many of his relatives became victims of the Holocaust. Her mother, with whom she had a strained relationship, was from a formerly prosperous Vienna family. As a child, Elfriede attended a Roman Catholic convent school in Vienna. Her mother planned a career for her as a musical "Wunderkind". She was instructed in piano, organ, guitar, violin, viola, and recorder from an early age. Later, she went on to study at the Vienna Conservatory, where she graduated with an organist diploma; during this time, she tried to meet her mother's high expectations, while coping with her psychologically ill father.[8] She studied art history and theater at the University of Vienna. However, she had to discontinue her studies due to an anxiety disorder, which resulted in self-isolation at her parents' house for a year. During this time, she began serious literary work as a form of therapy. After a year, she began to feel comfortable leaving the house, often with her mother.[8] She began writing poetry at a young age. She made her literary debut with Lisas Schatten (Lisa's Shadow) in 1967, and received her first literary prize in 1969. During the 1960s, she became active politically, read a great deal, and "spent an enormous amount of time watching television".[8]

She married Gottfried Hüngsberg on 12 June 1974.[9][10]

I was 27; he was 29. I knew enough men. Sexuality was, strangely, the only area where I emancipated myself early on. Our marriage takes place in two cities. It's a kind of Tale of Two Cities in the Dickensian sense. I've always commuted between Vienna and Munich. Vienna is where I've always lived because my friends are here and because I've never wanted to leave Vienna. In the end I've been caught up here. Munich is my husband's city and so I've always traveled to and from, and that's been good for our marriage.[9]

Work and political engagement[edit]

Despite the author's own differentiation from Austria (due to her criticism of Austria's Nazi past), Jelinek's writing is deeply rooted in the tradition of Austrian literature, showing the influence of Austrian writers such as Ingeborg BachmannMarlen Haushofer, and Robert Musil.[11]

Jelinek's political positions, in particular her feminist stance and her Communist Party affiliations, are of vital importance to any assessment of her work. They are also a part of the reason for the controversy directed at Jelinek and her work. Editor Friederike Eigler states that Jelinek has three major and inter-related "targets" in her writing: what she views as capitalist consumer society and its commodification of all human beings and relationships, what she views as the remnants of Austria's fascist past in public and private life, and what she views as the systematic exploitation and oppression of women in a capitalist-patriarchal society.[12] Jelinek has claimed in multiple interviews that the Austrian-Jewish satirical tradition has been a formative influence on her writing, citing Karl KrausElias Canetti, and Jewish cabaret in particular. In an interview with Sigrid Löffler, Jelinek claimed that her work is considered an oddity in contemporary Austria, where she claims satire is unappreciated and misunderstood, "because the Jews are dead." She has stressed her Jewish identity as the daughter of a Holocaust survivor, claiming a continuity with a Jewish-Viennese tradition that she believes has been destroyed by fascism and is dying out.[13][14][15]

Work[edit]

Jelinek's output has included radio plays, poetry, theatre texts, polemical essays, anthologies, novels, translations, screenplays, musical compositions, libretti and ballets, film and video art.[16] Jelinek's work is multi-faceted, and highly controversial. It has been praised and condemned by leading literary critics.[17] In the wake of the Fritzl case, for example, she was accused of "executing 'hysterical' portraits of Austrian perversity".[18] Likewise, her political activism has encountered divergent and often heated reactions. Despite the controversy surrounding her work, Jelinek has won many distinguished awards; among them are the Georg Büchner Prize in 1998; the Mülheim Dramatists Prize in 2002 and 2004; the Franz Kafka Prize in 2004; and the Nobel Prize in Literature, also in 2004.[17]

Female sexuality, sexual abuse, and the battle of the sexes in general are prominent topics in her work. Texts such as Wir sind Lockvögel, Baby! (We are Decoys, Baby!), Die Liebhaberinnen (Women as Lovers) and Die Klavierspielerin (The Piano Teacher) showcase the brutality and power play inherent in human relations in a style that is, at times, ironically formal and tightly controlled. According to Jelinek, power and aggression are often the principal driving forces of relationships. Likewise Ein Sportstück (Sports Play) explores the darker side of competitive sports.[19] Her provocative novel Lust contains graphic description of sexuality, aggression and abuse. It received poor reviews by many critics, some of whom likened it to pornography. But others, who noted the power of the cold descriptions of moral failures, considered it to have been misunderstood and undervalued by them.[17]

In April 2006, Jelinek spoke out to support Peter Handke, whose play Die Kunst des Fragens (The Art of Asking) was removed from the repertoire of the Comédie-Française for his alleged support of Slobodan Milošević. Her work is less known in English-speaking countries. However, in July and August 2012, a major English language premiere of her play Ein Sportstück by Just a Must theatre company brought her dramatic work to the attention of English-speaking audiences.[20][21][22] The following year, in February and March 2013, the Women's Project in New York staged the North American premiere of Jackie, one of her Princess Dramas.[23]

Political engagement[edit]

Jelinek was a member of Austria's Communist Party from 1974 to 1991. She became a household name during the 1990s due to her vociferous clash with Jörg Haider's Freedom Party.[24] Following the 1999 National Council elections, and the subsequent formation of a coalition cabinet consisting of the Freedom Party and the Austrian People's Party, Jelinek became one of the new cabinet's more vocal critics.[25]

Many foreign governments moved swiftly to ostracize Austria's administration, citing the Freedom Party's alleged nationalism and authoritarianism.[26][27] The cabinet construed the sanctions against it as directed against Austria as such, and attempted to prod the nation into a national rallying (Nationaler Schulterschluss) behind the coalition parties.[28][29]

This provoked a temporary heating of the political climate severe enough for dissidents such as Jelinek to be accused of treason by coalition supporters.[26][27]

In the mid- to late-1980s, Jelinek was one of many Austrian intellectuals who signed a petition for the release of Jack Unterweger, who was imprisoned for the murder of a prostitute, and who was regarded by intellectuals and politicians as an example of successful rehabilitation. Unterweger was later found guilty of murdering nine more women within two years of his release, and committed suicide after his arrest.[30]

Awards and honors[edit]

Publications[edit]

Poetry[edit]

Novels[edit]

Plays[edit]

  • Was geschah, nachdem Nora ihren Mann verlassen hatte; oder Stützen der Gesellschaften (1979). What Happened after Nora Left Her Husband; or Pillars of Society. Premiered at Graz, October 1979.
  • Clara S, musikalische Tragödie (1982). Clara S, a Musical Tragedy. Premiered at Bonn, 1982.
  • Krankheit oder Moderne Frauen. Wie ein Stück (1984). Illness or Modern Women. Like a Play. Premiered at Bonn, 1987.
  • Burgtheater. Posse mit Gesang (1985). Burgtheater. Farce with Songs. Premiered at Bonn, 1985.
  • Begierde und Fahrererlaubnis (eine Pornographie) (1986). Desire and Permission to Drive – Pornography. Premiered at the Styrian Autumn, Graz, 1986.
  • Wolken. Heim (1988). Clouds. Home. Premiered at Bonn, 1988.
  • Präsident Abendwind. Ein Dramolett, sehr frei nach Johann Nestroy (1992). President Abendwind. A dramolet, very freely after Johann Nestroy. Premiered at Tyrol Landestheater, Innsbruck, 1992.
  • Totenauberg (1992). Premiered at Burgtheater (Akademietheater), 1992.
  • Raststätte oder Sie machens alle. Eine Komödie (1994). Service Area or They're All Doing It. A Comedy. Premiered at Burgtheater, 1994.
  • Stecken, Stab und Stangl. Eine Handarbeit (1996). Rod, Staff, and Crook – Handmade. Premiered at Deutsches Schauspielhaus, 1996.
  • Ein Sportstück (1998). Sports Play, trans. Penny Black (Oberon Books, 2012). Premiered at Burgtheater, 1998; English-language premiere in Lancaster, 11 July 2012. Also translated by Lillian Banks as Sports Chorus for the Museum of Contemporary Art in Krakow.[41]
  • er nicht als er (zu, mit Robert Walser) (1998). Her Not All Her: On/With Robert Walser, trans. Damion Searls (Sylph Editions, 2012). Premiered at Salzburg Festival in conjunction with Deutsches Schauspielhaus, 1998.
  • Das Lebewohl (2000). Les Adieux. Premiered at Berliner Ensemble, 2000.
  • Das Schweigen (2000). Silence. Premiered at Deutsches Schauspielhaus, 2000.
  • Der Tod und das Mädchen II (2000). Death and the Maiden II. Premiered at Expo 2000 in conjunction with the Saarbrücken Staatstheater and ZKM Karlsruhe.
  • MACHT NICHTS – Eine Kleine Trilogie des Todes (2001). NO PROBLEM – A Little Trilogy of Death. Premiered at Schauspielhaus Zürich, 2001.
  • In den Alpen (2002). In the Alps. Premiered at Munich Kammerspiele in conjunction with Schauspielhaus Zürich, 2002.
  • Prinzessinnendramen: Der Tod und das Mädchen I-III und IV-V (2002). Princess Dramas: Death and the Maiden I-III and IV-V. Parts I-III premiered at Deutsches Schauspielhaus, 2002; Parts IV-V premiered at Deutsches Theater, 2002.
  • Das Werk (2003). Premiered at Burgtheater (Akademietheater), 2003.
  • Bambiland (2003). Trans. Lilian Friedberg (2007).[42] Premiered at Burgtheater, 2003.
  • Irm und Margit A part of "Attabambi Pornoland" (2004). Premiered at Schauspielhaus Zürich, 2004.
  • Ulrike Maria Stuart (2006). Premiered at Thalia Theater, 2006.
  • Über Tiere (2006).
  • Rechnitz (Der Würgeengel) (2008). Rechnitz (The Exterminating Angel).
  • Die Kontrakte des Kaufmanns. Eine Wirtschaftskomödie (2009). The Merchant's Contracts.
  • Das Werk / Im Bus / Ein Sturz (2010). Premiered at Schauspiel Köln, 2010.
  • Winterreise (2011). Premiered at Munich Kammerspiele, 2011.
  • Kein Licht (2011). Premiered at Schauspiel Köln, 2011
  • FaustIn and out (2011). Premiered at Schauspielhaus Zürich, 2012.[43]
  • Die Straße. Die Stadt. Der Überfall (2012). Premiered at Munich Kammerspiele, 2012.
  • Schatten (Eurydike sagt) (2013). Shadow. Eurydice Says, trans. Gitta Honegger (2017).[44] Premiered at Burgtheater, 2013.
  • Aber sicher! (2013). Premiered at Theater Bremen, 2013.
  • Die Schutzbefohlenen (2013). Charges (The Supplicants), trans. Gitta Honegger (Seagull Books, 2016). First read at Hamburg, 2013; first produced at Mannheim, 23 May 2014.
  • Das schweigende Mädchen (2014). Premiered at Munich, 27 September 2014.
  • Wut (2016). Fury, trans. Gitta Honegger (Seagull Books, 2022). Premiered at Munich, 16 April 2016.
  • Am Königsweg (2017). On the Royal Road: The Burgher King, trans. Gitta Honegger (Seagull Books, 2020). Premiered at Hamburg, 28 October 2017.
  • Schnee Weiss (2018). Premiered at Cologne, 21 December 2018.
  • Schwarzwasser (2020). Premiered at Vienna, 6 February 2020.

Opera libretto[edit]

Translations[edit]

Jelinek's works in English translation[edit]

In popular culture[edit]

Her novel The Piano Teacher was the basis for the 2001 film of the same title by Austrian director Michael Haneke, starring Isabelle Huppert as the protagonist.

In 2022, a documentary about Jelinek was created by Claudia Müller, Elfriede Jelinek – Language Unleashed (German: Elfriede Jelinek – Die Sprache von der Leine lassen.[47]

See also[edit]

References[edit]

  1. ^ "The Nobel Prize in Literature 2004"NobelPrize.org. Retrieved 23 September 2020.
  2. ^ Delgado, Maria M.; Lease, Bryce; Rebellato, Dan (22 July 2020). Contemporary European Playwrights. Routledge. ISBN 978-1-351-62053-6.
  3. Jump up to:a b "Elfriede Jelinek biography". notablebiographies.com. 23 March 2005.
  4. ^ "Elfriede Jelinek: Introduction"eNotes. 15 June 2002.
  5. ^ Elfriede Jelinek profile, The Poetry Foundation website; retrieved 7 September 2013.
  6. ^ https://www.geni.com/people/Helene-Buchner/6000000194378489843
  7. ^ ""Obscene Fantasies": Elfriede Jelinek's Generic Perversions". University of Massachusetts Amherst. Retrieved 5 December 2020.
  8. Jump up to:a b c Boiter, Vera (1998). Elfriede Jelinek. Women Writers in German-Speaking Countries. Westport, CT: Greenwood Press. pp. 199–207.
  9. Jump up to:a b "Portrait of the 2004 Nobel Laureate in Literature", nobelprize.org; retrieved 13 July 2010.
  10. ^ Gottfried Hüngsberg profile IMDb.com; accessed 13 July 2010
  11. ^ Honegger, Gitta (2006). "How to Get the Nobel Prize Without Really Trying". Theater36 (2): 5–19. doi:10.1215/01610775-36-2-4.
  12. ^ Eigler, Friederike (1997), "Jelinek, Elfriede", in Eigler, Friederike (ed.), The Feminist Encyclopedia of German Literature, Westport, CT: Greenwood Press, pp. 263–4
  13. ^ Pizer, John (1994). "Modern vs. Postmodern Satire: Karl Kraus and Elfriede Jelinek"Monatshefte86 (4): 500–513. JSTOR 30153333. Retrieved 5 December 2020.
  14. ^ Kremer, S. Lillian (2003). Holocaust Literature: Agosín to Lentin. New York City: Routledge. p. 590. ISBN 978-0-415-92983-7.
  15. ^ Dagmar C. G. Lorenz (2007). Keepers of the Motherland: German texts by Jewish women writers. University of Nebraska Press. pp. 251–252. ISBN 978-0-8032-2917-4Jewish women's writing likewise employs satirical and grotesque elements when depicting non-Jews... Some do so pointedly, such as Ilse Aichinger, Elfriede Gerstl, and Elifriede Jelinek... Jelinek resumed the techniques of the Jewish interwar satirists... Jelinek stresses her affinity to Karl Krauss and the Jewish Cabaret of the interwar era... She claims her own Jewish identity as the daughter of a Holocaust victim, her father, thereby suggesting that there is a continuity of Vienna's Jewish tradition (Berka 1993, 137f.; Gilman 1995, 3).
  16. ^ Stevens, L. (2016). "Elfriede Jelinek's Bambiland". Anti-War Theatre After Brecht. Springer. pp. 169–199. doi:10.1057/978-1-137-53888-8_7ISBN 978-1-137-53887-1.
  17. Jump up to:a b c "Elfriede Jelinek". Contemporary Literary Criticism. Vol. 169. Gale. March 2003. pp. 67–155.
  18. ^ "Wife of incest dad under suspicion Archived May 8, 2008, at the Wayback Machine". The Australian, 5 May 2008.
  19. ^ "Elfriede Jelinek: Game on"The Stage. 13 July 2012. Retrieved 6 October 2017.
  20. ^ "Accounts"thestage.co.uk. Retrieved 11 August 2016.
  21. ^ "Postcards from the Gods: Sports Play – Nuffield Theatre, Lancaster"postcardsgods.blogspot.co.uk. 17 July 2012. Retrieved 11 August 2016.
  22. ^ Hutera, Donald. "Sports Play at the Nuffield, Lancaster | The Times". Retrieved 11 August 2016.
  23. ^ "Jackie – Women's Project Theater".
  24. ^ "DAS KOMMEN"elfriedejelinek.com. Archived from the original on 17 October 2022. Retrieved 4 September 2020.
  25. ^ Lorenz, Dagmar C. G. (2004). "The Struggle for a Civil Society and beyond: Austrian Writers and Intellectuals Confronting the Political Right"New German Critique (93): 19–41. ISSN 0094-033XJSTOR 4150478.
  26. Jump up to:a b Badge, Peter (3 December 2007). Nobel Faces: A Gallery of Nobel Prize Winners. John Wiley & Sons. ISBN 978-3-527-40678-4.
  27. Jump up to:a b Festić, Fatima (15 November 2011). Gender and Trauma: Interdisciplinary Dialogues. Cambridge Scholars Publishing. ISBN 978-1-4438-3533-6.
  28. ^ Wodak, Ruth (19 January 2009). Discursive Construction of National Identity. Edinburgh University Press. ISBN 978-0-7486-3735-5.
  29. ^ Waring, Alan (30 March 2019). The New Authoritarianism. BoD – Books on Demand. ISBN 978-3-8382-1263-0.
  30. ^ Johann Unterweger biography, Johann Unterweger. (2014). The Biography.com website. Retrieved 11:10, 22 November 2014.
  31. Jump up to:a b c d e "Elfriede Jelinek"Theaterverlage (in German). 3 October 2021. Retrieved 9 December 2021.
  32. ^ "Awards – Georg-Büchner-Preis – Elfriede Jelinek"Deutsche Akademie für Sprache und Dichtung (in German). Retrieved 9 December 2021.
  33. Jump up to:a b c "Mülheimer Dramatikerpreis: Elfriede Jelinek gewinnt zum dritten Mal"Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung (in German). 3 June 2009. Retrieved 9 December 2021.
  34. ^ "Else-Lasker-Schüler- Preis an Elfriede Jelinek"Der Standard (in German). Retrieved 9 December 2021.
  35. ^ "Hörspielpreis der Kriegsblinden: Auszeichnung für Elfriede Jelinek"Der Spiegel (in German). 25 February 2004. Retrieved 9 December 2021.
  36. ^ "Franz-Kafka-Preis für Elfriede Jelinek"Radio Prague International (in German). 3 November 2004. Retrieved 9 December 2021.
  37. ^ "Elfriede Jelinek erhält Literatur-Nobelpreis"Deutschlandradio (in German). 7 October 2004. Archived from the original on 9 December 2021. Retrieved 9 December 2021.
  38. ^ "Jelinek för Stig Dagerman-priset"Svenska Dagbladet (in Swedish). 4 June 2004. Retrieved 9 December 2021.
  39. ^ Fischer, Karin (8 June 2011). "Sprachmacht gegen Polit-Theater"Deutschlandfunk (in German). Retrieved 9 December 2021.
  40. ^ Jelinek, Elfriede (2011). "Neid" (PDF)Elfriede Jelinek HomepageArchived (PDF) from the original on 31 August 2020.
  41. Jump up to:a b "Sport in Art – MOCAK"en.mocak.pl. Retrieved 15 November 2021.
  42. ^ "Bambiland – translated by Lilian Friedberg"www.elfriedejelinek.com. Archived from the original on 17 October 2022. Retrieved 16 November 2021.
  43. ^ "FaustIn and out"www.elfriedejelinek.com. Archived from the original on 17 October 2022. Retrieved 16 November 2021.
  44. ^ Jelinek, Elfriede; Honegger, Gitta (2017). "Shadow. Eurydice Says"PAJ: A Journal of Performance and Art39 (1): 73–118. doi:10.1162/PAJJ_a_00354ISSN 1537-9477S2CID 57571830.
  45. ^ Jelinek, E. (1 January 2009). "BAMBILAND"Theater39 (3): 111–143. doi:10.1215/01610775-2009-008ISSN 0161-0775.
  46. ^ Piekarska, Delfina (2012). Sport w sztuce : Sport in art (in Polish and English). Kraków: Muzeum Sztuki Współczesnej w Krakowie. ISBN 978-83-62435-64-7OCLC 815593405.
  47. ^ "ELFRIEDE JELINEK - LANGUAGE UNLEASHED"ELFRIEDE JELINEK - LANGUAGE UNLEASHED. Retrieved 31 October 2023.

Further reading[edit]

  • Bethman, Brenda. 'Obscene Fantasies': Elfriede Jelinek's Generic Perversions. New York, NY: Peter Lang, 2011; ISBN 978-1-4331-1060-3
  • Fiddler, Allyson. Rewriting Reality: An Introduction to Elfriede Jelinek. Oxford: Berg, 1994; ISBN 978-0-8549-6776-6
  • Gérard Thiériot (dir.). Elfriede Jelinek et le devenir du drame, Toulouse, Presses universitaires du Mirail, 2006; ISBN 978-2-85816-869-9
  • Flitner, Bettina. Frauen mit Visionen – 48 Europäerinnen (Women with Visions – 48 Europeans). With texts by Alice Schwarzer. Munich: Knesebeck, 2004; ISBN 978-3-89660-211-4, 122–125 p.
  • Konzett, Matthias. The Rhetoric of National Dissent in Thomas Bernhard, Peter Handke, and Elfriede Jelinek. Rochester, NY: Camden House, 2000; ISBN 978-1-57113-204-8
  • Lamb-Faffelberger, Margarete and Matthias Konzett, editors. Elfriede Jelinek: Writing Woman, Nation, and Identity—A Critical Anthology. Fairleigh Dickinson University Press, 2007; ISBN 978-1611473704
  • Rosellini, Jay. "Haider, Jelinek, and the Austrian Culture Wars". CreateSpace.com, 2009. ISBN 978-1-4421-4214-5.

External links[edit]

Be The Kind One: Everybody Needs Compassion | Tom Rapsas

Be The Kind One: Everybody Needs Compassion | Tom Rapsas

Be The Kind One: Everybody Needs Compassion
LAST UPDATED ON: FEBRUARY 8, 2024 AT 8:15 AM
FEBRUARY 8, 2024 BY TOM RAPSAS
0 COMMENTS

Brett Jordan via Unsplash

Have you ever heard of “Thumper’s Rule?” In the Disney film Bambi, there’s a young rabbit named Thumper who remarks that the fawn Bambi is “kinda wobbly” and “doesn’t walk too good.” Well, Thumper’s mother doesn’t go for that kind of talk and gives him a piece of advice we all can use, a sort of verbal golden rule:

“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.”

Being nice to others. It’s a baseline requirement if you want to go through life as a compassionate person. It starts with how you talk to and talk about other people. Words matter, so before speaking consider: Is what you’re about to say helpful or hurtful? Constructive or destructive? How will it make the other person feel?
Look. Listen. Forgive.

In the book 
The Lessons of St. Francis, How to Bring Simplicity and Spirituality into Your Daily Life
the musician and monastic leader John Michael Talbot shows us an alternate way we can deal with the family, friends, co-workers and acquaintances we encounter each day. It’s a small step that can make our little corner of the world a kinder, more compassionate place.


I’ve distilled Talbot’s thoughts, which were influenced by the life of St. Francis, into three primary steps: look, listen, and forgive. Here’s what it looks like in practice:

Look.

Nothing shows that you’re interested in another person like giving them your full attention. That means phone down, preferably off and nestled in your pocket or purse, and eyes focused on the person across from you. The writer G.K. Chesteron explains St. Francis’s approach to eye-contact this way:


There was never a person who looked into the eyes of Francis without being certain that Francis was really interested in them; in their own individual life from the cradle to the grave; that they themselves were valued and taken seriously.

Can’t we do the same when we talk to others? Show others they are valued and taken seriously? It starts with giving others the attention they deserve, especially when they’re engaging you in conversation.

Listen.

When listening to another person, we’ve got to resist the all-too-human urge to critique what they’re saying. As Talbot states, “Compassion isn’t about whether you approve or disapprove of what someone is saying; it’s about understanding another person. It isn’t about promoting your agenda; it’s about comprehending someone else’s.” That means putting the other person first, by listening instead of waiting to talk.

Forgive.

Forgiveness simply means coming down from our thrones of judgement and avoiding being hostile and angry to anyone who may have previously offended us. Everyone has bad days. Everyone has value and deserves a second chance. (And your most important relationships may deserve third and fourth chances.) Talbot quotes Frederick Buechner who writes that forgiveness is a way of saying:



You have done something unspeakable, and by all rights I should call it quits between us. Though I make no guarantees I will be able to forget what you’ve done, I refuse to let it stand between us. I still want you for my friend.

Anger has a way of causing us greater harm than doing us any good. As the godfather of American spirituality, Ralph Waldo Emerson, once said: “For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.”

In Talbot’s book, I was also reminded of a poem that St. Francis once wrote to a close friend about the nature of God. I have paraphrased it below. There may be no man, woman, or child alive today that encapsulates all these traits, but I think they are qualities we all can strive for each and every day.

You are love.

You are wisdom.
You are humility.

You are endurance.
You are rest. You are peace.
You are joy and gladness.
You are justice and moderation.
You are gentleness.
You are our guardian and defender.
You are our courage.

You are our haven and our hope.
Being compassionate means going the extra mile.

In the book Soul Boom
actor and spiritual provocateur Rainn Wilson draws a distinction between sympathy, empathy, and compassion. While we often use the terms interchangeably, there’s a difference as Wilson points out here:
Sympathy means “I feel for you.” There’s no real emotional connection.
Empathy means “I feel with ” You sense the other person’s pain, feel it in your own heart, and may even shed tears if you see a friend crying in pain.
Compassion means, “I feel with you, and I am here to help.” It transcends empathy because in Wilson’s words, “if you are experiencing compassion, you are driven to action to help alleviate another’s pain.”

Wilson goes on to quote a person who knows something about compassion, the Dalai Lama: “Real compassion comes from seeing the suffering of others. You feel a sense of responsibility, and you want to do something for them.” When we try to do something for others in pain, Wilson says: “the actions we undertake, come right back around and help us with our own inner sense of bliss.” It’s a win-win situation.

The good thing about compassion: It really doesn’t require any extra effort on our part. The only requirement is that we go into the world with love in our hearts, knowing that we all carry the light of the Divine within us. It can be harder to spot in some people than others, but is there, nonetheless.

A different version of this story appears in my new book 
Wake Up Call: Daily Insights for the Spiritually Curious
now available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.




[김조년] 내 삶: 하고 싶은 것, 하기 싫은 것, 할 수밖에 없는 것 <금강일보

[김조년의 맑고 낮은 목소리] 내 삶: 하고 싶은 것, 하기 싫은 것, 할 수밖에 없는 것 < 칼럼 < 오피니언 < 기사본문 - 금강일보
[김조년의 맑고 낮은 목소리] 내 삶: 하고 싶은 것, 하기 싫은 것, 할 수밖에 없는 것
기자명 금강일보   입력 2024.02.06 

입춘이 되면서 많은 사람들은 ‘입춘대길’ ‘건양다경’ ‘만사형통’ ‘기운생동’ ‘윤집궐중’ 등 가족이나 집단이나 개인에게 축복하고 기원하는 글을 써서 대문이나 다른 쪽문에 한자 팔(八)자 모양이나, 한글의 ㅅ 모양으로 붙여 놓았다. 그 문을 통하여 그런 기운이 들어오기를 바라기도 하였을 것이고, 그것을 보거나 그 문을 통하여 드나드는 사람들에게 그런 기운이 들기를 바라는 맘이었을 것이다. 지금도 많은 사람들이 그와 비슷한 말들을 새봄을 맞는 인사로 써서 붙이거나 아는 벗들에게 보낸다. 나는 이것을 지금 우리가 이해할 수 있는 말로 고쳐서 ‘새봄 새날같이 산뜻하고 팔팔하게’라고 써서 나 자신에게 보냈고 또 몇 벗들에게 보냈다. 이 말을 생각하고 쓰고 보내면서 내 삶은 어떠한가 생각해 보았다.

우리는 우리의 일생 동안 하고 싶은 일을 하는 것과 하고 싶지 않지만 하는 일 중에 어느 것이 더 많을까? 하고 싶지 않은 일을 정말로 하지 않고, 하고 싶은 일만을 하고 살 수 있을까? 사람은 정말로 하고 싶은 일만을 하면 잘 사는 것일까? 하고 싶지 않은 일을 끊으면 정말로 행복할까? 이쯤에서 나는 가만히 이제까지 내가 살아오는 동안 어떻게 무엇을 하고 살아왔는가를 살펴보는 것이 의미가 있지 않을까 생각해 본다. 나는 얼마만큼 하고 싶은 일을 하면서 살았으며, 얼마만큼 많이 하고 싶지 않지만 하였든지, 아니면 할 수밖에 없어서 한 일이 얼마나 많았던가?

내 삶은 하고 싶은 일, 하고 싶지 않은 일, 하고 싶은 것인지 하고 싶지 않은 것인지 모르는 상태에서 하거나 하지 않는 일, 또는 그런 것들과는 상관없이 어떤 의무감이나 관습에 따라서 하는 것 따위로 나눠 생각해 볼 수 있을 것 같다. 하고 싶은 것 중 어느 것을 했으며, 지금 하고 있으며, 또 앞으로 할 가능성이 있고, 전혀 할 가능성이 없는 것으로 분류하여 볼 수 있을 것이다. 또 하고 싶지 않은 것 중에서 이미 한 일, 지금 하고 있는 일, 언젠가는 그만두고 싶은 일과 하고 싶지 않지만 도저히 그만 둘 가능성이 전혀 보이지 않는 일 따위로 나누어 따져볼 수도 있겠다. 그렇게 큰 종이에 그런 것들을 나열하여 써보고는, 그것들의 우열이나 경중을 살펴서 분류하여 볼 수도 있겠다.


그렇게 벌려놓고 보니 하고 싶은 일 중에 내가 잘하였다고 판단되는 것도 있고 그렇지 않은 것도 있으며, 하고 싶은 일을 한다고 하여 능력이 좋은 것도 있고, 전혀 능력이 없어서 지루하거나 더 이상 하고 싶지 않은 것도 많다. 또 하고 싶지 않은 것이지만 아주 탁월하게 그 일을 잘 수행한 것도 있고, 하기 싫지만 삶의 형편을 보아서 도저히 중단할 수 없는 것이거나, 또 중단할 가능성이 전혀 보이지 않는 것도 있다. 때로는 그러한 일들을 내가 스스로 찾거나 맡아서 하는 것도 있고, 남이 떠넘기기에 받아서 하는 일도 있다. 어떤 것은 은근히 바라지만 겉으로는 아닌 척 하면서 마치 떠밀려서 하는 것처럼 하는 것도 있다. 그러나 이것도 저것도 아닌 어중간한 상태에서 어영부영하다가 세월을 보내면서 한 삶을 유지한 때도 있다. 어떤 흐름에 밀려 사는 삶도 있다. 따지고 보니 이것도 내 삶이요, 저것도 내 삶이다. 그러나 또 엄격히 살피면 이것도 내 삶이 아닌 듯, 저것도 내 삶이 아닌 듯한 것이 얼마나 많던가? 아무리 따져도 딱 이것은 내 삶이고, 저것은 내 삶이 아니라고 자르고 갈라서 판가름할 것이 나타날 것 같지 않은 것도 참 많다. 그래도 새해가 되고, 새봄이 되니 내가 참살이를 하는가 아니면 헛살이를 하는가를 따져본다.


어찌 보면 내가 고르고 바라는 것이 내 삶인 듯이 보이지만, 어떤 때는 전혀 그렇지 않지만 그냥 내 앞에 그 때 그렇게 다가왔기에 그것을 내가 살아가는 것이 내 삶인 듯이 보이기도 한다. 한 발 살짝 옆으로 비켜섰더라면 전혀 그 때와 같은 그 삶을 만날 수 없었을 때가 있었을 것이다. 그렇다면 지금의 내 삶이 이렇게 진전되지 않고, 아주 딴 방향으로 흘러가는 수도 있었을 것이다. 그러고 보면 지금 내가 살아가는 것이 우연인 듯 필연이고, 필연인 듯 우연으로 보이는 것이 얼마나 많던가? 겉으로 나타나는 내 삶은 꼭 이것이라야 한다고 해서 오는 것도 아니고, 그것이 아니라고 하여 나타나지 않는 것도 아니다. 내 의지에 의하여 선택하여 사는 삶인 듯이 보이기도 하지만, 더 엄밀히 따지면 그런 내 의지에 의한 것인 듯 전혀 나 밖의 어떤 것에 의하여 그렇게 이끌리어 된 삶인 듯이 보이기도 한다. 그래서 누구는 ‘하느님의 발길에 채여서’ 산 삶이라고 자신의 삶을 규정하기도 했다. 꼭 그이의 삶만이 ‘그의 발길에 채여서’ 산 것이던가? 모든 삶에는 ‘그이의 이끄심’이 있어서 된 것이라고 할 수밖에 없다. 그렇다고 내 삶이 아닌가? 언젠가 말했듯이 내 삶으로 엮여진 것들은 다 내 것인 듯 공공한 것이란 말이다. 내가 살지만 남과 함께 그렇게 사는 것이고, 사사로운 듯 공공한 삶을 산단 말이다. 모든 삶이 다 내 삶이 아닌 듯 내 삶이다. 싫다 좋다를 떠나서 일단 내게 다가오는 그것은 다 내 삶이란 말이다. 거기서 가질 자세는 불을 보듯이 분명하다. 어떤 삶의 양상이든지 나는 그것을 통하여 행복하고 정의롭고 당당해야 한다는 점이다. 그래서 나는 또 내 삶의 방향설정은 어떤 삶의 상태가 아니라 ‘선언’이라고 말한다. 그래서 이것은 내 삶이라고 선언하고, 또 이 삶에서 나는 행복하다고 선언하는 일이다. 그렇게 우리는 ‘선언’하면서 긴 나그네 길을 가는 것이 아닐까?


2024/02/09

The 16 Best Books For Men - GQ Australia

The 16 Best Books For Men - GQ Australia:

16 books every man should read, according to GQ editors
GLADYS LAI
23 AUG 2023
From Kenzaburō Oē’s A Personal Matter to Ernest Hemingway’s The Old Man and the Sea, three GQ editors recommend the books that you should read in your lifetime.


1/17

All products featured on GQ are independently selected by our editors. However, when you buy something through our retail links, we may earn an affiliate commission.

You know the kind of books we’re talking about, don’t you—the ones that crawl under your skin and shake you, that flood you with wonder and terror, that make the familiar unfamiliar, and give old truths new faces. There are, to be sure, many great novels in the world, but rare is the book that presses down on the heart, and rewires the brain. 

It’s the feeling you chase every time you open a novel, which is why here, at GQ, we’ve decided to round up the books that accomplished just that. Some, like A. A. Gill’s Pour me and Kenzaburō Oē’s A Personal Matter, probe addiction and guilt; others, like The Brothers Karamazov and What I Talk About When I Talk About Running, brush up against spirituality and satisfaction. All, however, take a scalpel to the question of what it means to be human.


Below, three GQ editors sound off on the list of books every man should read.


The 16 best books for men, according to GQ

2/17
Men Without Women, Haruki Murakami
 

“You might be more familiar with Haruki Murakami’s novels—Norwegian Wood, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, IQ84—but it’s perhaps in his short stories that his mastery of prose shines. In Men Without Women, you’ll find seven vignettes of, well, men without women: a widower who befriends his dead wife’s lover, a plastic surgeon emaciated by heartbreak, an agoraphobic regaled with stories of break-ins and lampreys, a bar-owner who runs away from himself. There’s a surreal flavour to each of Murakami’s realities, but it makes his portraits of life all the more indelible. And at the end of the collection, you’re left with an overwhelming feeling, like a dream you can’t quite remember: some amalgam of loneliness, despair, confusion, potentiality.” 

 

“Here’s one of the many quotes from Men Without Women I’ve committed to memory. ‘The proposition that we can look into another person’s heart with perfect clarity strikes me as a fool’s game,” says Takatsuki in Drive My Car. “All it can do is cause us pain. Examining your own heart, however, is another matter… So in the end maybe that’s the challenge: to look inside your own heart as perceptively and seriously as you can, and to make peace with what you find there. If we hope to truly see another person, we have to start by looking within ourselves.’ Yeah, I know. Just do yourself a favour and grab a copy.” —Gladys Lai, content editor

 

SHOP NOW: Men Without Women by Haruki Murakami, $20.35 from Booktopia


3/17
All The Pretty Horses, Cormac McCarthy
 

“When Cormac McCarthy passed away in 2023 he left behind a legacy as one of the greatest writers in modern history. Throughout a career of quiet determination, McCarthy chronicled the despair, desperation and dearths of humanity using a canvas of the American West. His most famous work, the violent No Country For Old Men is also essential, but for me, the quieter, more romantic journey of 16-year-old John Grady Cole tells us about how the world works better. It follows Cole as he discovers the violence, but also the life present along the border of Texas and Mexico.” —Charlie Calver, head of brand

 

SHOP NOW: All The Pretty Horses by Cormac McCarthy, $18.25 from Booktopia

 

4/17
Pour Me, A.A. Gill
 

“Australia has a troubling relationship with plonk. Something we grow up surrounded by is boozing, and drinking of every nature. For many, it’s controlled and social, but for some, it can very easily spiral beyond control. In this lamenting and honest memoir from one of my favourite writers, A.A Gill speaks about finding sobriety, and the honest truths about a troubling relationship with alcohol, parallels of which I am sure you will see in your circles too. Gill’s writing brings an admired humanity into all who cross his path on his journey, and help you understand that while improving the self is a solo journey by definition, it is the stories and people that you encounter on the way that will shape the final outcome. A read that will help redefine how you interact with your favourite liquid.” —Will Lennox, content producer

 

SHOP NOW: Pour Me by A.A. Gill, $21.75 from Booktopia


5/17
Catch-22, Joseph Heller
 

“Strange, perhaps, that the book that’s made me laugh out loud the most is an absurdist tale of a pilot set in World War II—but trust me when I say that 1) it’s an absolute riot, and 2) it’s totally not what you’re expecting from a classic. You’ll meet a host of eccentric characters—the disillusioned Yossarian, our hospital-loving protagonist, culinary genius Milo Minderbinder, the Henry Fonda-doppelgänger Major Major Major Major, “born too late and too mediocre”. You’ll follow them through war; you’ll follow them through tragedy. But all the while, you’ll laugh—with them, at them, and above all, at circumstance and bureaucracy, those ludicrous, risible and often incomprehensible governors of human life.” —Gladys Lai, content editor

 

SHOP NOW: Catch-22 by Joseph Heller, $14.99 from Amazon


6/17
The Secret History, by Donna Tartt
 

“I borrowed The Secret History from my local library and resolved to read a couple of chapters over dinner, but ended up racing through the entire novel and not sleeping a wink. That’s how good Donna Tartt is: she grips you by the shoulders with the very first line and refuses to let you go. The Secret History begins with a murder, before it takes you back in time; the first half charts the events leading up to the crime, while the second explores the aftermath. This is the campus novel that started it all: six students; a Classics professor; intrigue, occult ritual and all the elements of a Greek tragedy. A book that will leave you breathless, and remind you of just how exhilarating reading can be.” —Gladys Lai, content editor

 

SHOP NOW: The Secret History by Donna Tartt, $21.75 from Booktopia


7/17
Just Kids, Patti Smith
 

“A book recommended to me by my colleague Charlie when I first started out here. Just Kids tells the gripping story of the New York City that everyone has wanted to visit once in their life. And while it arrives in our fantasies terrifically hyperbolised, Just Kids paints the vision of the city as it truly was, and arguably remains today. Framed by the relationship between Smith and photographer Robert Mapplethorpe, it is not intentionally lacerating in its depiction of the era, but certainly unflinching in its presentation of their world. United by their art and creativity, who hasn’t wanted to move to the Big Apple in search of a freedom like this.” —Will Lennox, content producer

 

SHOP NOW: Just Kids by Patti Smith, $21.75 from Booktopia


8/17
The Brothers Karamazov, Fyodor Dostoevsky
 

“At the heart of The Brothers Karamazov is a riddle, one Dostoevsky poses in the fifth chapter and spends the rest of the novel trying to solve: how do we reconcile the breadth of human suffering with the existence of something divine? As the novel progresses, and we come to know the three titular brothers, it becomes clear that Dostoevsky’s answer lies in kindness, unwavering. In the face of Dmitri’s fiery passion and Ivan’s rationalism, the third brother, Alexei, embodies compassion. When one of the brothers is accused of a crime, the pace speeds up. But for me, the novel’s best moments are when it pauses, breathes, and takes stock of what it means to be human.” —Gladys Lai, content editor

 

SHOP NOW: The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky, $13.85 from Amazon


9/17
The Bonfire of the Vanities, Tom Wolfe
 

“Almost a decade after Tom Wolfe perfected literary nonfiction with his depiction of the space race in The Right Stuff, the legendary writer and journalist decided to try his hand at writing his version of “the great American novel”. The result was The Bonfire of the Vanities, a book that perfectly captures the excess, paranoia and social landscape of 1980s NYC. If you take one thing away from this book, it should be that no one is infallible and sure, you might have more experience as you get older, but it’s very rare that anyone actually knows what the hell they are doing.” —Charlie Calver, head of brand

 

SHOP NOW: The Bonfire of the Vanities by Tom Wolfe, $18.25 from Booktopia


10/17
Dune, Frank Herbert
 

“If you’re someone who religiously avoids sci-fi, read Dune. Yes, it’s a formidable size—the kind of brick-sized book you’ll feel insufferable carrying around—but I promise you, it’s worth its weight in gold, and will reframe the genre as you know it. You’re probably already familiar with the storyline, recently popularised by Denis Villeneuve’s (magnificent) film adaptation, but the book spins ideas together with a detail and complexity that can’t be achieved on-screen. Herbert uses the structure of a hero’s journey to touch on feudalism, ecology, religion and colonialism; prophecy casts its shadow on every page. Herbert’s universe is vast, but feels intensely real. This is a novel that will leave you in awe of the human imagination, and the worlds that can be dreamt up by a single mind.” —Gladys Lai, content editor

 

SHOP NOW: Dune by Frank Herbert, $20.35 from Booktopia


11/17
A Personal Matter, Kenzaburō Oē
 

“The opening lines of Kenzaburō Oē’s A Personal Matter are a revelation. There are many great books, but few that seem to reinvent language as you know it. This is one of those. A semi-autobiographical novel, A Personal Matter follows 27-year-old protagonist Bird as he contends with the birth of his disabled son. With every page, he sinks deeper into a quagmire of shame and self-loathing; you’re privy to his every thought, many of which will disgust you, but disgust Bird more. But despite the heaviness of its subject matter, the book isn’t harrowing. Oē’s metaphors, redolent of the Modernist greats, lend beauty to suffering. The conclusion will leave you whole, and with the taste of this line on your tongue: ‘Reality compels you to live properly.’” —Gladys Lai, content editor

 

SHOP NOW: A Personal Matter by Kenzaburō Oē, $22.40 from Booktopia


12/17
The Old Man and the Sea, Ernest Hemingway
 

“I’ll give you a short pitch for a short book: when I first read this 127-page Pulitzer Prize winner, I found it beautiful and calming. The second time I read it, it almost brought me to tears. You’ll understand the meaning of life better after you’ve read this.” —Charlie Calver, head of brand

 

SHOP NOW: The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway, $18.25 from Booktopia


13/17
If This Is a Man, Primo Levi
 

“Don’t be fooled by the size of it—Primo Levi’s If This Is A Man is something you’ll chew slowly, and take even longer to digest. A Holocaust memoir, Levi reflects on history’s darkest moments, humanity’s darkest faces, and manages, somehow, to find the heart beneath it all. Free of bitterness, Levi instead grieves, and hopes. ‘Everyone dreamed past and future dreams,’ he says at one point in his memoir, ‘... of slavery and redemption, of improbable paradises, of equally mythical and improbable enemies; cosmic enemies, perverse and subtle, who pervade everything like the air.’” No book better demonstrates the lessons we can all learn from the atrocities past generations have committed, and suffered.” —Gladys Lai, content editor

 

SHOP NOW: If This Is a Man by Primo Levi, $19.25 from Amazon


14/17
Hamlet, William Shakespeare
 

“Granted, a Shakespearean tragedy isn’t something you skim, but Hamlet is one of those plays you should read in your lifetime. Once you get used to the old English—and get into that sick iambic pentameter—you’ll find that Hamlet is, at its core, a very simple and necessary tale, about a young man, grappling with his place in the world. There is terror for him in action, terror for him in thought. What comes after death, he asks, and what does death make of us? The ending will edify and devastate all at once. A necessary addition to your bookshelf.” —Gladys Lai, content editor

 

SHOP NOW: Hamlet by William Shakespeare, $9.50 from Booktopia


15/17
What I Talk About When I Talk About Running, Haruki Murakami
 

“Sports books are a tricky field. In many cases, they’re written by extraordinary athletes with natural talent that far surpasses the abilities us readers could ever achieve. And while those novels provide valuable inspiration for our own athletic pursuits or otherwise, finding this book about running from just a regular runner was just what I needed to get into the sport that has changed my life for the better. Murakami is far better known for his fiction books, but this honest memoir about how he found, and subsequently became engrossed in the sport of running is just as good. It’s honest about the difficulties in finding satisfaction in a new pursuit, but as anyone who has stuck by something, the rewards of the return are painted just as pleasingly. An essential read for anyone interested in running, but also wider active pursuits.” —Will Lennox, content producer

 

SHOP NOW: What I Talk About When I Talk About Running by Haruki Murakami, $20.35 from Booktopia


16/17
On The Road, Jack Kerouac
 

“I first read On The Road by Jack Kerouac when I was about 15 and it grabbed my attention immediately. Written over a three-week benzedrine and caffeine-fuelled frenzy on one continuous scroll, Kerouac tells a stream-of-consciousness story of his travels across America in the heart of the 1950s beat poet revolution. At its core, the book is a testament to living life to its fullest and the dangers that can come with that. Written 80 years ago, there are some elements of the book that haven’t aged well, but that doesn’t discount the energy rippling off every page. A must-read that will turn you into a traveller and a reader overnight.” —Charlie Calver, head of brand

 

SHOP NOW: On The Road by Jack Kerouac, $20.35 from Booktopia


17/17
The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald 
 

“In The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald scratches at the glitter of the American Dream to reveal the dishonesty and superficiality that simmers underneath. Each character wears a mask, and it is these fronts Fitzgerald unravels over the course of the novel: that of Gatsby, the self-made man, of Daisy, the golden socialite, of Nick, our narrator, who proclaims himself honest but isn’t quite so. A melancholic portrait of human folly set in the Jazz Age, and rendered by Fitzgerald in rich, gorgeous prose—this is a book that lingers long after the final line.” —Gladys Lai, content editor

 

SHOP NOW: The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, $14.25 from Booktopia