2020/10/11

Everyday Zen: Love and Work (Plus) Charlotte J. Beck

 Everyday Zen: Love and Work (Plus)



From the United States

Reviewed in the United States on March 12, 2015
This book presents Zen Buddhism as a form of personal therapy. Joko actually says, "Our Zen training is designed to enable us to live comfortable lives." She has stripped Zen Buddhism of practically everything except meditation, the no-self doctrine, and closely related matters. She almost ignores other Buddhist concepts, such as emptiness, karma, and so on. Did you have the impression that Buddhism entailed belief in reincarnation? Nothing about that here. Did you believe Buddhism has an ethical code, no killing, no lying, etc.? Nothing about that here, save disapproval of anger. She criticizes religious practices that urge people to be unselfish. Her position is that ethical conduct and unselfishness can await realization (enlightenment). Is she right? There are some spectacular examples of American Zen masters behaving very badly indeed, notwithstanding their enlightenment. Zen (at least American Zen) tends to downplay Buddhism's ethical requirements and metaphysical concepts, but Joko takes it to an extreme. Maybe she is using "skillful means," i.e., dumbing Buddhism down so that ordinary Westerners won't have too much trouble buying into it. The requirement to follow a strict ethical code or an aspiration "to save all beings" might discourage some people from even starting. Or maybe she thinks her everyday Zen is all there is to say that's worthwhile. I can't tell.

Using Zen as personal therapy may actually work. Lots of people think it does, and Joko presents it very well. She seems to have been a wise and compassionate teacher.

Amazon's star system doesn't cope well with a book that the reviewer thinks is well done and yet has problems with. Ergo, four stars and the disparaging subject line.
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Reviewed in the United States on September 15, 2018
This book was recommended by a fellow yoga friend and teacher and I just didn't care for it. I like a few chapters. I like when she talks about the mind and the types of thoughts it generates, but I just couldn't get into this book. She talks about her own experience a lot as a meditation practitioner, which even though I have had a sitting practice on and off for years, I just couldn't connect to it. It's all a bit heady, all a bit much for me. Somehow the relaxation of it all gets lost in translation, which is why I feel that I don't ever continue to practice sitting meditation daily. I can fall into relaxation and be with my thoughts, observing them when I am moving better than when I am just sitting. At times it can be great, but at times torturous. This book was very HEAVY for me, and I couldn't finish it.
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Reviewed in the United States on October 19, 2015
Just what I needed to read when the going got tough for me. A great reading and not only for those who are in search of Zen. This book gives a good description of our human nature and our constant search for the elusive happiness. Short chapters and very readable style. Hits home with every example the writer uses to support her stories. I have marked many passages (I apologize to those who abhor marking a book), but it makes it easier for me to get back to the passages that I need to reread when I forget about my faulty human traits. I keep the book close by and reach for it often.
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Reviewed in the United States on September 26, 2020
I love this book and I love her other book, "Nothing Special." I've also greatly benefited from her talks that are posted on YouTube and iTunes. There is also a video documentary one can buy. Beck and her dharma heirs have all written about how several Zen "masters" that came over from Japan in the 60s and 70s, as well as their early American dharma heirs, violated basic ethical behavior with their students. Beck saw that sitting on a cushion for hours and having enlightenment experiences doesn't always translate into mature, responsible behavior. I've dug in deep to all of her writings and am eternally grateful. Give it a chance, you'll thank me!
Reviewed in the United States on March 12, 2015
This book is in the first stage Zen Mountain Monastery student reading list by Daido Roshi, dharma brother to Joko. This is a collection of dharma talks given to the robed sangha, after chanting "Prajna Paramita Heart Sutra" ("emptiness of the skandas"), "The Identity of the Relative and Absolute" ("like two arrows meeting in mid-air"), mystical dharanis and other liturgy. When I first picked up this book, I had a romantic dream of Zen. I was enamoured with the sounds of the clappers and bells, the ritual of three bowls, the smell of incense, my weight on the cushion. I imagined knowing conversation about suchness and shouts of kensho. Joko's book was the sharp strike/release of the stick. What my knotted muscles of ego yearned for and resisted. This book is about the intimacy of living. Of no escape. It is the antidote to butter-won't-melt-in-my-mouth aridness. Dear Reader, please consider these wise teachings to deepen your practice.
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Reviewed in the United States on September 17, 2014
As someone who's only been reading about Zen Buddhism for a year or two, I found this book to be the best one I bought. The concepts are explained simply, and I read it with yellow highlighter in hand, so I can now go back over the highlights at my leisure. I like the small paperback size, and take it with me to waiting rooms.
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Reviewed in the United States on February 1, 2016
This book had a very profound affect on me during my solo retreat in the mountains of Washington. I certainly broke through my ego on that trip and was absolutely aware of my thoughts and sensations rising and falling. I also certainly became attached to this awareness and lost it (as always), but this book brought me there for sure. Very good stuff.
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Reviewed in the United States on September 28, 2018
She is my favorite writer of Zen, and I wish she wrote more books. Her down to earth, "to the point" approach to both Zen and her writing is moving and very helpful.
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Reviewed in the United States on May 3, 2000
I purchased this book back in 1992, got half-way through it, couldn't understand it, and put it down to read other things and go on with my life of everyday living, thinking, worrying, etc. that we all do in our lives. Not until a crisis of sorts came up in my life did I pick it up again. This time, it all made sense. Living life in the present moment, right here, now. Working at being less judgemental. Not looking for 'happiness' and instead finding joy in everyday life. I know it sounds like a lot of BS, but something changed after the second reading of this book, and now mundane aspects of my job are just me doing my work. I haven't changed religions, haven't joined a cult, haven't even attended a 'zendo' or 'sesshin.' But something has changed since reading this book. It could be the thing that changes your life, too. I know I've got a long way to go, but what a start! The companion second book by Joko is also highly recommended.
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Reviewed in the United States on October 2, 2011
First book I purchased from Joko Beck, and it was wonderful! I just purchased her other book "Nothing Special" as well. There is a multitude of insightful chapters, passages and lessons about life captured within these pages. I found the book to be quite approachable for the common reader. On the other hand, this book, even though it was straightforward, is a little more comprehensive than other books I've read thus far (you may have to review some of the material a few times, but that's okay). Nevertheless, I think everyone can learn a little something about themselves and how to better conduct their lives moving forward.

Usually on my reviews, I like to list a few key points that inspired me while reading the material. However, on this occasion there are just too many good points to list. With that said, I found myself writing little notes all over my copy. So, I've decided to ONLY include MY closing thoughts which the book left me with after the last few pages:

`We all start out looking for the next best thing in our life. No matter what it is - we keep searching for something better. However, what we don't realize is -- life is not only staring us right in the face, BUT it's also fleeing with each passing second. All we truly have in this world is the HERE/NOW. We need to stop planning and searching for `who knows what'. Rather, we need to look at whatever our life IS, and simply do what needs to be done. We shouldn't have time for useless gossip (he said/she said) OR the labeling/judging of others - because we already have the most precious gift of all looking at us right now - LIFE. Do not waste another moment for this is all we have, and nothing else; not money, not possessions, nor attachments. All we really have is THIS MOMENT, this wonderful, beautiful, fleeing moment. EMBRACE IT !!!'.
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When Things Fall Apart PEMA CHODRON

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4.7 out of 5 stars

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When Things Fall Apart

When Things Fall Apart

byPEMA CHODRON

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Ray F

VINE VOICE

4.0 out of 5 starsCaught my eye when things were falling apart for me

Reviewed in the United States on April 24, 2016

This book’s title caught my eye at a time when I felt like things were falling apart for me. I’ve long been open to the teachings of Buddhism and so I thought I might find some insight, even comfort, in Ms Chodron’s words.



And I did, but this is not a “hand-holding,” “feel good” book. It’s blunt in its view of life as, I suppose, Buddhism tends to be. The feel of the whole was, to me, “suck it up and soldier on.” But do so with the insights of Buddhism and an enlightened point-of-view. And so when facing one of those inevitable times when we are losing it all, we can find an understanding of what we’re feeling when Ms Chodron says:



"We react against the possibility of loneliness, of death, of not having anything to hold on to. Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth."



She illustrates this by describing a pivotal moment in her life when things fell apart. In her youth, her husband left her and she felt that loss of her whole world with anger and fear. But out of that experience she found Buddhism, a new life and a new vocation. She eventually became thankful for the experience, and that is a major theme of the book—the idea that life is all beginnings and endings. If we can understand that, and accept it, we can go a long way in coping with the bad times.



Fear is what we’re trying to cope with in those bad times. As she stated in the above quote, we are afraid of loneliness, death, and aimlessness. She asks us to understand that at the start of the book, and then goes on to offer insight to help us deal with it. She states what her whole book is about when she says:



"What we’re talking about is getting to know fear, becoming familiar with fear, looking it right in the eye—not as a way to solve problems, but as a complete undoing of old ways of seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and thinking."



I could go on and on with such quotes—there are so many quotable passages in this book. Also ideas that have helped me. Such as that things are just not what we think they are; we really don’t know anything and so we must be careful in our judgments, even judgments as to what is good and what is bad (see chapter 1). Because we never know how things will turn out.



When in emotional pain, people tend to return to those places they’ve found comfort in the past. There are times, though, when those places fail us, or don’t offer enough comfort. If you’re at such a place, then this book might be of help. It is likely to be, if you can understand and accept the basic cause of our unhappiness according to Buddhism. Ms Chodron states it as:



"Thinking that we can find some lasting pleasure and avoid pain is what in Buddhism is called samsara, a hopeless cycle that goes round and round endlessly and causes us to suffer greatly."



From there, you can go on to find out what you can do in your life to address samsara. And if you can find, ironically, that chasing happiness does not bring happiness, and running from pain does not eliminate pain, then you’ll be at a point where this book can help.

Read more

477 people found this helpful

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Maris

3.0 out of 5 starsLife changing

Reviewed in the United States on September 15, 2017

This book encouraged me to make some very positive changes in my life. However, I felt like halfway through the book, Pema forgot about the topic or ran out of content and focused on meditation for the last half. I was so disappointed. There were sections in the first few chapters that I underlined, but then I skimmed the last half.

77 people found this helpful

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2,799 global ratings | 1,406 global reviews

From the United States

Ray F

VINE VOICE

4.0 out of 5 stars Caught my eye when things were falling apart for me

Reviewed in the United States on April 24, 2016

Verified Purchase

This book’s title caught my eye at a time when I felt like things were falling apart for me. I’ve long been open to the teachings of Buddhism and so I thought I might find some insight, even comfort, in Ms Chodron’s words.



And I did, but this is not a “hand-holding,” “feel good” book. It’s blunt in its view of life as, I suppose, Buddhism tends to be. The feel of the whole was, to me, “suck it up and soldier on.” But do so with the insights of Buddhism and an enlightened point-of-view. And so when facing one of those inevitable times when we are losing it all, we can find an understanding of what we’re feeling when Ms Chodron says:



"We react against the possibility of loneliness, of death, of not having anything to hold on to. Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth."



She illustrates this by describing a pivotal moment in her life when things fell apart. In her youth, her husband left her and she felt that loss of her whole world with anger and fear. But out of that experience she found Buddhism, a new life and a new vocation. She eventually became thankful for the experience, and that is a major theme of the book—the idea that life is all beginnings and endings. If we can understand that, and accept it, we can go a long way in coping with the bad times.



Fear is what we’re trying to cope with in those bad times. As she stated in the above quote, we are afraid of loneliness, death, and aimlessness. She asks us to understand that at the start of the book, and then goes on to offer insight to help us deal with it. She states what her whole book is about when she says:



"What we’re talking about is getting to know fear, becoming familiar with fear, looking it right in the eye—not as a way to solve problems, but as a complete undoing of old ways of seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and thinking."



I could go on and on with such quotes—there are so many quotable passages in this book. Also ideas that have helped me. Such as that things are just not what we think they are; we really don’t know anything and so we must be careful in our judgments, even judgments as to what is good and what is bad (see chapter 1). Because we never know how things will turn out.



When in emotional pain, people tend to return to those places they’ve found comfort in the past. There are times, though, when those places fail us, or don’t offer enough comfort. If you’re at such a place, then this book might be of help. It is likely to be, if you can understand and accept the basic cause of our unhappiness according to Buddhism. Ms Chodron states it as:



"Thinking that we can find some lasting pleasure and avoid pain is what in Buddhism is called samsara, a hopeless cycle that goes round and round endlessly and causes us to suffer greatly."



From there, you can go on to find out what you can do in your life to address samsara. And if you can find, ironically, that chasing happiness does not bring happiness, and running from pain does not eliminate pain, then you’ll be at a point where this book can help.

477 people found this helpful

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HeyAliJayTop Contributor: Pets

5.0 out of 5 stars Great read for anxiety-sufferers.

Reviewed in the United States on September 17, 2018

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I started experiencing severe anxiety and panic attacks recently. My therapist recommended Pema and I am so happy I bought this book. Each chapter is about 6 pages so I try to start every day by reading one. It helps me to set an intentional frame of mind for the day. I don't consider myself Buddhist, but I love her teachings and find myself identifying so closely with what she is saying.

128 people found this helpful

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Michele in Cincy

5.0 out of 5 stars This Is A Must Have Book!

Reviewed in the United States on November 11, 2016

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All of us face really hard times if we are alive and love lots of people. I love this book and give it as gifts when I know people are going through tough times. Pema Chodron has the unique ability to write in a way that you feel like a loving friend is giving you really solid, helpful, kind advice that is accessible. Her wise counsel and perspective throughs you a life jacket when you think you are going to drown. I read this book the first time when I was going through my divorce and read parts of it again when I lost my daughter to cancer. It is a book you will be glad to have and glad to give.

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Maris

3.0 out of 5 stars Life changing

Reviewed in the United States on September 15, 2017

Verified Purchase

This book encouraged me to make some very positive changes in my life. However, I felt like halfway through the book, Pema forgot about the topic or ran out of content and focused on meditation for the last half. I was so disappointed. There were sections in the first few chapters that I underlined, but then I skimmed the last half.

77 people found this helpful

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C. Duvall

5.0 out of 5 stars I am very grateful for this book

Reviewed in the United States on January 11, 2017

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Spot on the best book I've come across regarding shifting the mind around physical "inconveniences" or worse. I'm surprised that many around me have also read this but never shared it! I've been very vocal about how much this is helping me cope with life post cancer treatment!

62 people found this helpful

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Rick (Indiana)

5.0 out of 5 stars Heals the Heart

Reviewed in the United States on December 31, 2017

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Heals the Heart. I highly recommend the writings of Pema Chodron. When Things Fall Apart, speaks to the hurt, wounded or broken parts of us, helping each of us to be at peace as we heal.

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Amazon Customer

5.0 out of 5 stars and loved it so much i bought a copy for my ...

Reviewed in the United States on February 3, 2017

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This book is incredible. I purchased it for a mindfulness course, and loved it so much i bought a copy for my sister in law. Very helpful for anyone suffering with perfectionism, anxiety, or trauma. it's definitely a book that goes well with meditative practices!

56 people found this helpful

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Amazon Customer

5.0 out of 5 stars the kindest book in the world!

Reviewed in the United States on April 3, 2013

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i have been reading and re-reading this book for years and years. it is my go-to book during any difficult time, and i always glean something knew regarding my current situation. pema chodron's writing takes away a lot of the loftiness i've encountered while trying to read bhuddist self help books, but since pema has already gone through so much of the craziness of life, her lessons areextremely comprehensive and compassionate. i love this book because you can open it to any page and start reading and you will find something you can use. love it. thank you pema! i recommend all her books. the places that scare you is awesome and a good one for impulsive activity, including jumping to conclusions, anger, etc, is called don't bite the hook. those are my 3 favorites. oh, i guess it would help to mention my reasons for seeking out this genre of information: i went through a terrible breakup, moved across the country with my dog, the dog bit someone ferociously on the neck, i lost my dog and the house i was living at the time (on the same day as losing the dog), was outcast from my group of friends because they saw my dog as an extension of me, went to live in a basement apartment, started drinking heavily, and fell into a depression that consisted of me waking up, taking an ambien, and going back to sleep. then when i woke up again, i would just take more ambien until i fell asleep again. i lost about 15 pounds on my already 120 pound frame, and contemplated "disappearing" whenever i was awake. it was a completely sucktastic time. i do indeed credit pema for helping me see that i had to kick my butt into gear and grab ahold of the reins.

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Atara Bieler

5.0 out of 5 stars Pain should be charged at and this book is for real, not false people

Reviewed in the United States on September 22, 2017

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self improvement is NOT about strained and false "positive thinking".... Pema Chodron talks about facing pain and bearing it just as a warrior bears his or her scars - with pride and as a sign that fear and pain should be charged at and not be avoided. I loved this approach. it makes me feel less awkward and more adapted to this world.

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KGS

5.0 out of 5 stars It is a must read

Reviewed in the United States on December 16, 2018

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I have read this book many times and given it away many times. Don't let the title sway you -- yes, there is advice for difficult times, but I found the book just opened my eyes, my mind, to a new way of seeing the world. And that applies in just every day times. I would read a chapter -- each of which are very short -- and need a week to reflect on it. Read it again. There are no wasted words. You read this when you are ready. Enjoy!

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