2020/11/07

Amazon.com: Toward a Psychology of Awakening: Buddhism, Psychotherapy, and the Path of Personal and Spiritual Transformation (9781570628238): Welwood, John: Audible Audiobooks

Amazon.com: Toward a Psychology of Awakening: Buddhism, Psychotherapy, and the Path of Personal and Spiritual Transformation (9781570628238): Welwood, John: Audible Audiobooks

Toward a Psychology of Awakening: Buddhism, Psychotherapy, and the Path of Personal and Spiritual Transformation Paperback – February 12, 2002
by John Welwood  (Author)
4.7 out of 5 stars    74 ratings
 See all formats and editions
Kindle
from AUD 26.40
Read with Our Free App
 
How can we connect the spiritual realizations of Buddhism with the psychological insights of the West? In Toward a Psychology of Awakening John Welwood addresses this question with comprehensiveness and depth. Along the way he shows how meditative awareness can help us develop more dynamic and vital relationships and how psychotherapy can help us embody spiritual realization more fully in everyday life. Welwood's psychology of awakening brings together the three major dimensions of human experience: personal, interpersonal, and suprapersonal, in one overall framework of understanding and practice.


Editorial Reviews
Review
"A very important book. It represents a perceptive, scholarly and at the same time highly practical attempt to see not only how Western psychology and Buddhism relate to each other but also how they complement each other. I cannot commend this book too highly."— The Middle Way



"Brilliant and thought provoking. This ambitious work succeeds so well because it sheds light on the interplay between meditation, inner work, and conscious relationship as a spiritual practice."— Spirituality & Health



"Marvelously fluent, personable, and eminently compassionate."— NAPRA Review



"Rich, potentially transforming insights abound here. Psychotherapists and spiritual seekers alike will be enriched by this book."— Publishers Weekly
From the Inside Flap
Can the meditative traditions of Buddhism be integrated with the practice of Western psychology? John Welwood's latest book addresses this question with new comprehensiveness and depth, building on the innovative psychospiritual approach of his six previous books (with total sales of over 300,000 copies). The questions he addresses include:

What can the spiritual methodologies of the East teach us about psychological health?

What issues arise when the recognition of our larger nature challenges our very conception of individual self ?

What new directions become possible when psychological work is undertaken in a spiritual context?

How does Western psychological understanding affect our approach to spirituality?

Welwood's psychology of awakening brings together three major dimensions of human existence: personal, interpersonal, and suprapersonal in one overall framework of understanding and practice.

The book's first section addresses basic questions about the relationship between psychology and contemplative spirituality. The second explores the practical implications of this convergence for psychological health and healing. The third considers the implications for relationship and community.


From the Hardcover edition.
Read more
Product details
Item Weight : 1.09 pounds
Paperback : 352 pages

More about the author
› Visit Amazon's John Welwood Page
John Welwood
 Follow
Biography
As a psychotherapist, teacher, and author, John Welwood has been a pioneer in integrating psychological and spiritual work. Welwood has published several books, including the best-selling Journey of the Heart (HarperCollins, 1990), as well as Challenge of the Heart (Shambhala, 1985), and Love and Awakening (HarperCollins, 1996). He is an associate editor of the Journal for Transpersonal Psychology. He leads workshops and trainings in psychospiritual work and conscious relationship throughout the world.


How would you rate your experience shopping for books on Amazon today





Very poor Neutral Great
Customer reviews
4.7 out of 5 stars

Top reviews from the United States
K. Elena Gellepis
5.0 out of 5 stars Not for the Beginner Perhaps...
Reviewed in the United States on August 29, 2017
Verified Purchase
Welwood's books are amazing, but even for someone with degrees in psych and religion quite a intense read. One of the only authors I've read outside of academic necessity where I find myself rereading paragraphs, sometimes sentences, multiple times to assure myself of the deeper meanings. This particular book offers some fabulous insights into the differences, similarities, and the surprisingly frequent nexus of Eastern and Western thought. Just recommended it for a friend, and decided to buy the hardcopy for my personal library and give it another read myself.
3 people found this helpful
Helpful
Comment Report abuse
A. Robinson
5.0 out of 5 stars Half a book
Reviewed in the United States on August 30, 2008
Verified Purchase
This is an excellent book on the theory of enlightenment. I have asked numerous Buddhists of differing denominations, what is enlightenment, and few have been able to give me a straight answer. Some acted like it was a supernatural state of being that was impossible to achieve unless you were destined to achieve it in this lifetime. Others claimed that enlightenment was undefinable and only the one enlightened would know if they were (of course, if the only person who could tell they were enlightened was themselves, enlightenment was no more than a self-delusion). Without understanding what enlightenment is, there is no reason for anyone to wish to be enlightened.

John Welwood does an excellent job at explaining the state of enlightenment. John clarifies the distinction between being non-existent and the non-existence of the self, since they are not the same thing. John shows how the source of suffering can be caused by the split between our perceptions of reality and reality itself. We think we know reality when all we really know is our are mis-perceptions of reality created by the constant filtering of reality by the ego. We live in a dream world of our own re-making and whenever our dream world clashes with actual reality, reality always wins, and we suffer as a result. We need to awaken and start trying to see reality as it is instead of what we wish it were like. This is what enlightenment is -- awakening from suffering and the games people play and the misperception of reality -- but although many try, few succeed in ever attaining it. There are many things to distract a person from ever reaching that goal so it takes belief, desire, and a little guidance, from time-to-time, from someone 'higher up' than ourselves. John believes the next step in conscious or psychological evolution is going to be in the realm of passionate relationships and devotes a third of the book to this topic. He gives a good case for this belief, one that shoe horns nicely into the theories of Carl Jung and Joseph Campbell. In other words, by concentrating on fully conscious, passionate relationships, we have the greatest chance of reaching enlightenment today.

This is all excellent material except for one thing: theory is nice but theory is all talk and no action. Passionate relationships is only half of the equation and John is a heavy promoter of meditation -- the other half of the equation -- yet he offers no guidance whatsoever on how to meditate. His excuse? Psychological therapy and meditation do not mix -- to which I say, what a stupid excuse! I've tried John's method of meditation, which he describes as focusing on the silence between thoughts, and all that happens to me is I fall asleep. So why did I give this book five stars, despite this glaring omission and blunder? Because the theory is well thought out, easy to understand, and confirmed by demonstrable facts -- much more so than many other books I've read on the topic. This book is a great compliment to HOW TO SEE YOURSELF AS YOU REALLY ARE by the Dalai Lama, a book which goes into exquisite detail on how to meditate.
Read less
17 people found this helpful
Helpful
Comment Report abuse
Juju McGoobers
5.0 out of 5 stars Absolute addition to any therapist's library.
Reviewed in the United States on December 12, 2014
Verified Purchase
Amazing book. A culmination of Welwood's work over the last 2 decades. This is an absolute must read for therapists and buddhists (I am not Buddhist). Anyone in a helping profession would likely benefit. Enjoy.

There are 10 books that I categorize as precious in my library. This is one of them. Alongside the Tao Te Ching and A few texts by Trungpa (path of the warrior, cutting through spiritual materialism).
11 people found this helpful
Helpful
Comment Report abuse
Patrick D. Goonan
5.0 out of 5 stars More intellectual than John Welwood's more popular books on relationship
Reviewed in the United States on October 8, 2006
Verified Purchase
TOWARD A PSYCHOLOGY OF AWAKENING is a dense book that describes the path of spiritual transformation from both an Eastern and Western perspective. Its primary value lies in trying to synthesize these two ways of looking at reality and describes in detail how each path informs the other.

Many paradigms both East and West aren't necessarily integrative for many modern people. This book is an attempt to provide a more holistic worldview that reconciles psychology with Buddhist insights into human nature, love and transformation.

There is also a good section on relationship as a path. I think this is an important area to address because something arises in intersubjective experience that has emergent qualities that transcend each individual. In other words, things like love, compassion and community. We can only be fully human when we are fully engaged with others in a conscious manner. This book discusses these issues and does a great job of it.

Many people won't find this book an easy read. It contains a lot of material and it explores many ideas in-depth. It also attempts to synthesize a lot of material in a brief space. However, if you have a deep interest in psychology or Buddhism, you will discover a treasure trove of good information and innovative ways of bringing it together.

If you are not very familiar with Western Psychology or Buddhism, but have a deep interest in personal and spiritual growth, you will still get a lot out of this book. However, you may find it a slower read and will undoubtedly have to take time to assimilate all of the concepts. It will be well worth the effort, but this isn't a superficial bedtime story.

Overall, I give this book my highest recommendation. It is original, well-organized, and well thought out. It is an important contribution in the area of psychological and spiritual growth and the relationship between them.
Read less
38 people found this helpful
Helpful
Comment Report abuse
diane chavez
4.0 out of 5 stars not a quick simple read, but worth it
Reviewed in the United States on February 14, 2015
Verified Purchase
great philosophical and existential reasoning, and his work is not a simple read. for me, I had to digest some of it before I understood it well enough to move on the next thought! am reading it with a group of 8 women and 5 are psychologists and 3 of us are "other". we are all having a good time delving into his thought processes, and we're getting a lot from his book.
4 people found this helpful
Helpful
Comment Report abuse
See all reviews
Top reviews from other countries
Ein Kunde
5.0 out of 5 stars amazing
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 14, 2018
Verified Purchase
this book closed a huge gap for me. it provoked a real shift by addressing, and thereby giving answer, to an array of questionmarks I had about why all the not insignificant realisations obtained through meditation seem to elude me in daily life. truly the most important book I have read since first delving into.the abidhamma
Report abuse
A writer in London
5.0 out of 5 stars Absolute genius
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 18, 2019
Verified Purchase
This is a work of pure, unadulterated genius. I doubt there are many books in existence that contain as much poignant wisdom that is so directly relevant for our times and who we are. Read it, and you will never be the same again.
Report abuse
Amina
5.0 out of 5 stars This should be a best seller.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 19, 2017
Verified Purchase
Extremely valuable enquiry into healing and being, as well as how Western and Eastern traditions on these themes can be brought together. This should be a best seller.
2 people found this helpful
Report abuse
Helen L
5.0 out of 5 stars Fascinating analysis. Really makes one reassess one's life. ...
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 31, 2017
Verified Purchase
Fascinating analysis. Really makes one reassess one's life. Heartening to realise that so many of one's fears and worries are shared by most people.
One person found this helpful
Report abuse
Mr. A.H.
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 21, 2015
Verified Purchase
Really a pinnacle of John Welwood's work and understanding. A must read
2 people found this helpful
Report abuse
--------------
Toward a Psychology of Awakening: Buddhism, Psychotherapy, and the Path of Personal and Spiritual Transformation
by John Welwood
 4.25  ·   Rating details ·  775 ratings  ·  26 reviews
Have you ever noticed that self-described spiritual people are not necessarily all that easy to be with? John Welwood has a term for what often happens--spiritual bypassing. This is when a person reaches for the stars while forgetting about the goop on his shoes. Welwood, author of the popular Love and Awakening and Journey of the Heart has made a profession out of bringing East and West together, integrating the path to enlightenment with the techniques of psychotherapy. In Toward a Psychology of Awakening, Welwood integrates a series of his articles written over a period of 30 years in an attempt to explain the dynamics of psychologies East and West. The hope is that, combined, they can create a wholeness that encompasses the various levels of human experience. Since many of these articles were written for specialist readers, they won't have the verve and inspiration of Welwood's other books, but Welwood fans and enthusiasts of transpersonal psychology will be delighted to have all these ground-breaking articles together in one place. So go ahead and reach for the stars--just don't forget that you still have to slog through the mire with the rest of us. --Brian BruyaHow can we connect the spiritual realizations of Buddhism with the psychological insights of the West? In Toward a Psychology of Awakening John Welwood addresses this question with comprehensiveness and depth. Along the way he shows how meditative awareness can help us develop more dynamic and vital relationships and how psychotherapy can help us embody spiritual realization more fully in everyday life. Welwood's psychology of awakening brings together the three major dimensions of human experience: personal, interpersonal, and suprapersonal, in one overall framework of understanding and practice. (less)
GET A COPY
KoboOnline Stores ▾Book Links ▾
Paperback, 352 pages
Published February 12th 2002 by Shambhala (first published 2000)
Original TitleToward a Psychology of Awakening: Buddhism, Psychotherapy, and the Path of Personal and Spiritual Transformation
ISBN1570628238 (ISBN13: 9781570628238)
Other Editions (5)
Toward a Psychology of Awakening: Buddhism, Psychotherapy, and the Path of Personal and Spiritual Transformation 
Toward a Psychology of Awakening: Buddhism, Psychotherapy and the Path of Personal and Spiritual Transformation 
111x148 
Psihologia trezirii. Budismul, psihoterapia si calea transformarii personale si spirituale 
Toward a Psychology of Awakening: Buddhism, Psychotherapy, and the Path of Personal and Spiritual Transformation
All Editions | Add a New Edition | Combine
...Less DetailEdit Details
EditMY ACTIVITY
Review of ISBN 9781570628238
Rating
1 of 5 stars2 of 5 stars3 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars5 of 5 stars
Shelves to-read edit
( 647th )
Format Paperback edit
Status
November 7, 2020 – Shelved as: to-read
November 7, 2020 – Shelved
Review Write a review
 
comment
FRIEND REVIEWS
Recommend This Book None of your friends have reviewed this book yet.
READER Q&A
Ask the Goodreads community a question about Toward a Psychology of Awakening
54355902. uy100 cr1,0,100,100 
Ask anything about the book
Be the first to ask a question about Toward a Psychology of Awakening

LISTS WITH THIS BOOK
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'EngleThe Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor DostoyevskySiddhartha by Hermann HesseBeyond Religion by Dalai Lama XIVThe Gospel of the Rauschmonstrum by Nick LaTorre
Nerdfighter Spiritual List
111 books — 28 voters
No Option But North by Kelsey FreemanOther People's Stories by Amy ShumanPersonhood the Tree of Life by Daniel C BeckerGod, Country and Telepathy by Peter LeGuillouUnfathomed Regions of Homoeopathy by Sultan Alam M. Bihari
Amble Down This "Path"
206 books — 4 voters


More lists with this book...
COMMUNITY REVIEWS
Showing 1-30
 Average rating4.25  ·  Rating details ·  775 ratings  ·  26 reviews

Search review text


All Languages
More filters | Sort order
Sejin,
Sejin, start your review of Toward a Psychology of Awakening: Buddhism, Psychotherapy, and the Path of Personal and Spiritual Transformation

Write a review
Jaren
Feb 16, 2008Jaren rated it it was amazing
An incredible read. Experientially-based and clearly written, it's got so much good stuff on openness, ego, love, spirituality, and the beneficial intermingling of psychology and spirituality, psychotherapy and meditation... It had quite an influence on me.
flag7 likes · Like  · comment · see review
Steve Woods
Mar 12, 2012Steve Woods rated it it was amazing
Shelves: buddhism, psychology-psychotherapy
This is one of the most important books I have ever read. As a veteran of armed conflict in both Vietnam and Cambodia and a survivor of extreme abuse in childhood, the best that traditional mental health services based on the medical model could offer failed me. To begin with, there was no entry for PTSD in the DSM before 1982, so whatever I suffered from was either misdiagnosed or labelled some kind of malingering. That fact in and of itself points pretty clearly to the hopelessly inadequate and some might say criminally negligent approach of the so called professionals to a major problem then and an increasingly critical problem now. Returning veterans trying to cope with difficulties still poorly understood and inadequately treated.

For myself I reached a point where I simply gave up. That decision led me down a very dark road the destination of that path would inevitably have been for me as it is now for so many in the same position suicide. I was lucky, I eventually realized that the system supposedly there to support me was killing me. Nothing that was being put to me as therapy nor any medication was helping and in fact it was all compounding the issue and making matters worse. In a fit of defiance, I made a commitment to do whatever it took myself, that led me to do the only thing I knew how to do and that was to research. I have spent 10 years reading everything I could find on the condition of what is now called PTSD, from the American Civil War right through to conflicts today, together with all the basic texts I could find on psychotherapy, and the theories of personality development and adjustment; these ranging from the classical theorists, eg. Jung, Freud through to the later thinkers,e.g. Rogers, Epstein. Then there were the revolutionaries e.g. Szaz, Grof, Gendlin. It would probably be reasonable to say that I am at least as well read as anyone who has completed an undergraduate degree in Psychology at any major university. All this reading provided much fodder for tough, some insight and a great deal of perspective that just confirmed my view that whatever the latest fad might be in the treatment of PTSD; Cbt, ACT, whatever it would always fall short in exactly the same ways that my own experience had done.

The inadequacies of the medical model condemned it so. The idea that the person so affected was sick and had to be cured simply rammed home the sense of being broken and helpless that are so much part of the condition. There had to be more.

I was fortunate enough, having done what so many Vietnam Veterans and done and bailed out to SE Asia, shunning the country and the society I grew up in as having nothing to offer me, but further angst, I had started to explore meditation and psychology in the context of Buddhist teaching. Here was the more. No longer regarding the condition of my mind as "abnormal" but simply another aberration of the aberrant human condition. No more no less dysfunctional than any other and so the same approach to an enlightenment of sorts was now on the cards for me. I have never looked back.

Initially my response to having seen the light was to dump anything that was related to western psychology or psychotherapy into the garbage, since it had all served me so poorly. Over recent years however given all the reading and all the lived experience, now leavened with a little more compassion and open mindedness I felt that there had to be a wy forward incorporating the bestow both worlds, never quite able to see how that might be possible. Well here in this book greater minds have also done some thinking. This pulls it all together for me. There is the basis here for a therapeutic approach that would definitely work, it worked for me even though I found my way rather by accident than by design. It would however require a massive shift in philosophy, theory and approach. An uphill battle no doubt given the vested interests and the inbuilt cultural inertia that prevails but definitely worth some exploration. (less)
flag5 likes · Like  · comment · see review
Francisco
Mar 29, 2014Francisco rated it it was amazing
John Welwood does a wonderful job on showing the differences between Western views of consciousness (based on psychotherapy) and Buddhism. Neither Buddhism or Western psychotherapy deny the need for a strong ego. (Imagine ego as the continued ideas and representations that we have of ourselves.) A strong ego controls impulses, has adequate self-esteem (neither too high or too low) and is competent in worldly functioning. The problem is that for Buddhism (and the other great world religions) a functioning ego is not enough. Another way of saying this is that you can have a functioning ego and still miss out on much more that this existence has to offer. And still another way of saying this is that you can have a functioning ego (you can be wonderfully self-confident, fully in control of your impulses and function in such a way as to meet all your physical needs and still be miserable. Buddhists would not be surprised since the ego wants to be somebody always and to be somebody you must be constantly grasping and grasping is the source of suffering. Meditation and the development of mindfulness slowly reveals an awareness that is egoless or beyond the ego. In its intermediate stage this awareness is the witness that recognizes the ego's painful doings. In its ultimate stage this awareness is non-dual. I don't know what it is like to reach that ultimate expansive stage where there is no ego, no you or me, no this or that, but I have feeling that it is an extremely wholesome state. The beauty of a book like this one is that it encourages and shows how even small steps in the development of mindfulness can have a healing effect on the mental illnesses that afflict us. All mental illness is in some way or another at bottom a form of identification with a story, a self-image, a world view so narrow and constricted that it causes pain. Mindfulness creates the space necessary to see the pain, the narrowness and falsity of the mental construct. This is one of those books that develops awareness of your own mind, of your own ego doings, healthy and unhealthy, even as you read. And that is a good start. (less)
flag6 likes · Like  · comment · see review
Sarah
Apr 15, 2011Sarah rated it it was ok
Shelves: buddhism
I know this is sacrelig, but I could barely get through this. I thought it was fairly cumbersome and largely unreadable. The book makes the same mistake a lot of new-agey academics make: it wants to sounds science-y so it uses lots of obtuse sentence structure and language borrowed from the physics department to make it sound legit. If I ever smoke weed again, maybe I'll try and give this another shot.
flag4 likes · Like  · comment · see review
ABleu
Mar 19, 2011ABleu rated it liked it
Shelves: psychology, buddhism, set-down
I'm not going to lie, this book has been a challenge to get through. There are such long, abstract discussions about states of consciousness. I am a student of psychology and spirituality, but I can only grasp abstract concepts to a point. Quite often through out the book, Welwood will give you a gem of spiritual knowledge about the nature of suffering, unconditional presence, or the limited quality of the ego that will make you set the book down and go "wow."

I also did not like that EVERY SINGLE solution to living a deeper, fuller life was mediation. In my opinion, mediation isn't for everyone, and I don't know how helpful it would be for people who are very lost.

Every humanistic psychologist should have this book in his collection. Welwood provides valuable insight for therapists and healers. I wish he'd give a workshop or seminar so I could understand some of the more abstract concepts he writes about. (less)
flag3 likes · Like  · comment · see review
Ingrid
Nov 13, 2011Ingrid rated it it was amazing
My fascination with Welwood's concept of "spiritual bypass" led me to conduct research on the defense mechanism as it relates to recovery. This topic is the basis for my book.
flag3 likes · Like  · 1 comment · see review
Jennifer
Apr 15, 2012Jennifer rated it it was amazing
Shelves: fav-psychology, library, heartbreak, relationships, self-help, favorites
This book is amazing & I need to own it because I know it will become a major reference throughout my life. I think it is one of the most helpful & profoundly truthful books I have read. From cover to cover, this book is so thoughtful that u almost have to be in the right frame of mind to absorb it all. It took me 3 times taking this book out of the library over the course of a few years to get through all 3 sections of this book & to realize how much I fully appreciate it. It is worth reading the last section of this book if u can‘t get through the first two because section 3 is about relationships. I also highly recmmend the chapter on Depression. I will need to reread this book again one day, not necessarily because it is dense, it is not a difficult read, but because my experiences change & I so easily forget some of the truths outlined here. I didn‘t find this book overly “ Buddhist“, but that it seeks to find the congruencies between Psychology & Eastern Philosophy. I highly recommend this book to anyone seeking to be a counsellor or psychologist. (less)
flag1 like · Like  · 2 comments · see review
Marco Pontual
Oct 10, 2018Marco Pontual rated it it was ok
Shelves: buddhism, psychology
As a psychology graduate and a self-declared buddhist I couldn't get past the first chapter after barely being able to finish the introduction. I suppose it has to do with my disagreeing with his basic premise, i.e., that buddhism doesn't deal with intrapersonal and interpersonal matters, and focuses only on the transcendental. My experience with buddhism has been of a tradition which values tremendously interpesonal relationship (heck, the Buddha said that Metta is the fastest way to reach nirvana) and has A LOT to teach about you as an individual and as a part of a community. I also found the author often on the self-promoting side which kinda rubbed me the wrong way.

Well, I really wanted to like the book but it didn't happen. I'll go back to reading https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9...

PS: I just remembered that at the time of this review this book is 16 years old and many of the good books that I've been reading were written more recently, which might partially explain the amount of positive reviews posted here (less)
flag1 like · Like  · 1 comment · see review
Susan Price
Aug 01, 2013Susan Price rated it it was amazing
Life changing for me, although as others have said, challenging at times. I think it helps to be practicing meditation and reading other Buddhist psychology in order to understand some of the more difficult concepts. Welwood is an excellent writer. I would recommend one of his other books, Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships as a good starting point. It is not just for intimate relationships, but any relationship.
flag1 like · Like  · comment · see review
Theodora
Mar 26, 2009Theodora rated it really liked it
Shelves: books09, unveiling, self-care
One of the best books on religion and psychotherapy I have read. I love the term 'spiritual bypassing,' which means spiritually advancing without working on your psychological stuff.
flag1 like · Like  · see review
Emmiliegh
Apr 29, 2020Emmiliegh rated it really liked it
This book was a great tool to open my mind to some thoughts on meditation and therapy that I had not considered. Or it allowed me to certainly think of these ideas on a deeper level. I also loved that the author included real case examples when explaining some methods, this helped me see how these could be used in a real world context. The overall layout of the book to me was off putting. At the beginning of each section each chapter of that section is broken down and your told what every chapter will be about. I understanding wanting to introduce the topics before you fully dive in but the way it is written felt redundant. The content however is still valuable and I’m happy I purchased my own copy to keep on bookshelf in reference in the future when I need. (less)
flagLike  · comment · see review
Usama Saeed
May 09, 2020Usama Saeed rated it it was amazing
One of the most wonderful books I have ever read , never before I had any clear idea about the unconscious , the ego , dealing with emotions and transmutation . John Welwood will always be remembered as one of the greatest spiritual authors who contributed to the evolution of human consciousness
flagLike  · comment · see review
Kai Frank
Jan 07, 2018Kai Frank rated it it was amazing
Potent. Down to earth. Worthwhile.
flagLike  · comment · see review
Michael
Oct 19, 2018Michael rated it it was amazing
I found this to be a very thought provoking book that challenges some of the conventional psychological approaches.
flagLike  · comment · see review
IAO131
May 28, 2015IAO131 rated it really liked it
Shelves: psychology, philosophy, mysticism
An interesting exploration of the intersection of psychotherapy and spirituality. In particular Welwood talks about Buddhism and Gendlin's Focusing most often. Particularly interesting were his concepts of 'spiritual bypassing' (a fairly well known idea nowadays in spiritual circles) and his different theory about the unconscious as part of an informational interpretation gestalt rather than a treasure chest of secret contents. Recommended for those who attempt to reconcile the impersonal & personal in their paths. (less)
flagLike  · comment · see review
Christopherseelie
Jul 19, 2012Christopherseelie rated it liked it
A remarkable look at the ways Eastern spiritual traditions fall short of helping Westerners affect change in their psyches, and how Western psychology fails to be as fearless as meditation. However, this book has little negativity and a lot of heart directed at consolidating the 2 spheres of personal transformation. The chapters on Depression, Addiction, and how an intimate relationship can be a vehicle of spiritual growth are some of the highlights.
flagLike  · comment · see review
David
Dec 19, 2007David rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: psychologists, transpersonal psychologists, and spiritual seekers
Shelves: psychology, spirituality
Dr. Welwood integrates spirituality and psychology in an excellent overview of Buddhist Psychology. This integration of Eastern spiritual discipline with Western psychology purports to fully integrate mind, body, and spirit for the overall development of the individual. Welwood presents some very important and thought-provoking concepts in this book. I would highly recommend it to anyone interested in psychology or spirituality.
flagLike  · comment · see review
Natacha
Jan 05, 2016Natacha rated it it was amazing
I can only wish you all to read this book!
No need to be buddhist or have interest in psychology.
This book is about life, human being, being, discovering, understanding, love, personal and interpersonal relationships, awakening.
The whole written with so much justness and such a level of humanity.
So much wisdom contained in few pages.
flagLike  · comment · see review
R.G. Bullet
May 14, 2011R.G. Bullet rated it really liked it
This book is truly amazing.
I admit I had to really concentrate to get through it at times, but to be totally fair the words in it can be so life-changing that I think fuses were blown while reading, and I found myself falling asleep with it on my chest. It had a strange affect of resonating for ages. I am happy to see it here with high ratings.
flagLike  · comment · see review
Vicente Villela
May 09, 2016Vicente Villela rated it really liked it
Really beautiful and insightful book.

Can't believe Welwood is not as well known as Kornfield, Siegel, Epstein, Batchelor and all the rest. His name should be up there with all the big western exponents of buddhism.

For me the last chapter felt unnecessary and maybe would a better fit for another volume -if it wasn't for that, would've given it 5 stars.
flagLike  · comment · see review
Nancy
Jul 10, 2009Nancy rated it it was amazing
This book is a keeper for me. At first, the material seems too dry and the TWO introductions I finally skipped. However, later into the book I felt the author had such wonderful insights to share. I always felt that a combination of psychotherapy AND spirituality were needed for me to heal, and this author validated that belief. I am going to order some of his other books!
flagLike  · comment · see review
Krzys Piekarski
Mar 01, 2014Krzys Piekarski rated it it was amazing
As usual, leave it to Rilke to say it best: "Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are only princesses who are waiting to see us act just once with beauty and courage." An astonishing book full of more wisdom that I know what to do with. A+

----


Meditation and Psychotherapy: A Professional Training Course for Integrating Mindfulness into Clinical Practice: Brach Ph.D., Tara: 9781591799702: Amazon.com: Kindle Store

Meditation and Psychotherapy: A Professional Training Course for Integrating Mindfulness into Clinical Practice: Brach Ph.D., Tara: 9781591799702: Amazon.com: Kindle Store







Course objectives:

Apply the R.A.I.N. technique in your work with clients
• Utilize mindfulness meditation to clear blockages that prevent living fully
• Discuss basic concepts of Buddhist psychology
• Recognize aspirations and intentions that support awakening
• Practice a variety of different guided meditations
• Adapt specific mindfulness practices to individual client needs
• Integrate mindfulness into your personal and professional life
Learning How to Face Our Tangled Emotions and Release Our Limiting Beliefs

There are many skillful means that we can use to train ourselves and our clients to become aware, teaches Brach, a psychotherapist and meditator of more than 30 years. But they all lead to one essential question: Can I be here in this moment?

Using her R.A.I.N. technique, a four-part process that helps us learn how to stop running away from our tangled emotions and start to lovingly face them, we'll investigate and unblock the beliefs that cause suffering. Guiding us through meditations and practices on mindfulness, loving-kindness, forgiveness, allowing, and more, Brach shares key tools and expert insights for moving through this liberating process so that we can open and allow our lives to unfold, moment by moment.

"Mindfulness can strengthen our attention, awaken compassion and empathy, and expand our acceptance of our own inner states," teaches Brach. Meditation and Psychotherapy draws on the strengths of mindfulness meditation and the practice of modern therapeutic methods to help clear the emotional blocks holding us back.

Highlights:

R.A.I.N., a liberating four-step process for learning how to end the suffering caused by clinging to our emotions
• How we all can awaken from the trance of unworthiness using mindful awareness and lovingkindness
• The alchemy of self-compassion and how it can help in our relationships with others
• Why we don't have to believe our thoughts―the transformative power of self-inquiry
• "Touch and go," an approach for gently disarming the energy of trauma
• Tips for adapting practices for your individual client's needs
• A new model of psychotherapy that emphasizes the client/therapist relationship as an unfolding partnership
• More than eight hours of expert insights, practices, and tips for using mindfulness meditation and modern therapeutic methods to help untangle our difficult emotions


From the United States
jeanius
5.0 out of 5 stars Very relaxing and informative
Reviewed in the United States on August 29, 2020
Verified Purchase
Halfway through and I’m so impressed with how organized and informative this talk is. Engaging too as there’s little mindful moments and meditations included. I’m a hypnotherapist and I find tools like this so helpful as I work with fear and anxiety.
Helpful
Comment Report abuse
Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars This is a great course that I recommend highly
Reviewed in the United States on May 4, 2017
Verified Purchase
This is a great course that I recommend highly. I am learning a lot about how to use different techniques to help client resolve personal and mental health issues.
3 people found this helpful
Helpful
Comment Report abuse
Sandra E. Schmidt
5.0 out of 5 stars Came promptly as stated
Reviewed in the United States on May 30, 2019
Verified Purchase
Came as described
Helpful
Comment Report abuse
snickersnack
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Reviewed in the United States on July 2, 2016
Verified Purchase
useful...I'd give it 4 1/2 stars.
Helpful
Comment Report abuse
Avid Amazon reader
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Reviewed in the United States on November 4, 2015
Verified Purchase
Awesome series!
One person found this helpful
Helpful
Comment Report abuse
Firejade
5.0 out of 5 stars A Powerful Workshop on Emotional Healing
Reviewed in the United States on December 10, 2012
This collection is not just for therapists, but her teachings are for anyone looking for ways to deal with the gamut of difficult emotions we all deal with. We learn to be present and give space to emotions without identifying with them. She expounds on the acronym "RAIN," which stands for recognize/acknowledge when a strong emotion is present, allow or acknowledge that the emotion is there, investigate--not intellectually--but viscerally to witness what is happening in the body, and not identify with what is there, while giving it space to be. In one of her books she compares this experience to putting an ink drop in a thimble (resisting emotion and trying to put it down) or allowing the emotion to exist in a vast lake, where it spreads out as if it is barely there. The vastness of the space of compassion is like the lake.

Tara Brach is most powerful teaching I have experienced for dealing with "self aversion" with a balance of mindfulness and self-compassion. Tara's calming voice, genuine compassion, and refreshing humor keeps one engaged. The combination of meditations, techniques, and talks have been life-altering to my healing. After reading Radical Acceptance, I knew I wanted this workshop. It is best to spread out the sessions to absorb the material and let it percolate. She uses humorous anecdotes to make points. Her gentle nature and deep compassion in these techniques are almost visceral. I have spent years searching for techniques to heal emotionally, and most books tell you what to do, but tell you how to actually do it. They left me wanting more. Saying, "yes, I know WHAT to do, but HOW do I do it?" Tara was one of the first writers to give me graspable techniques that actually help me know that I am making progress towards emotional wholeness, ironically, not by resisting them, pretending they are not there, or even giving in to them, but by opening to them with mindful self-compassion.
41 people found this helpful
Helpful
Comment Report abuse
From other countries
Jimmy
5.0 out of 5 stars Worth Buying.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 24, 2014
Verified Purchase
Helpful to your practice.
Report abuse
lizzy mccann
5.0 out of 5 stars best buy
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 8, 2015
Verified Purchase
A great set of tapes for anyone in the counselling field. Good ideas and very clearly and well set out agenda. I will listen to it again and again .
One person found this helpful
Report abuse
ecotherapist
5.0 out of 5 stars brilliant
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 21, 2012
Verified Purchase
Love every moment of this beautiful, soulful talk and practice. I will listen again and again - full of wisdom and compassion
Report abuse

---

Meditation and Psychotherapy: A Professional Training Course for Integrating Mindfulness into Clinical Practice
 Want to Read
Rate this book
1 of 5 stars2 of 5 stars3 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars5 of 5 stars
Meditation and Psychotherapy: A Professional Training Course for Integrating Mindfulness into Clinical Practice
by Tara Brach (Goodreads Author)
 4.38  ·   Rating details ·  64 ratings  ·  8 reviews
Course objectives:

Apply the R.A.I.N. technique in your work with clients
• Utilize mindfulness meditation to clear blockages that prevent living fully
• Discuss basic concepts of Buddhist psychology
• Recognize aspirations and intentions that support awakening
• Practice a variety of different guided meditations
• Adapt specific mindfulness practices to individual client needs
• Integrate mindfulness into your personal and professional life
Learning How to Face Our Tangled Emotions and Release Our Limiting Beliefs

There are many skillful means that we can use to train ourselves and our clients to become aware, teaches Brach, a psychotherapist and meditator of more than 30 years. But they all lead to one essential question: Can I be here in this moment?

Using her R.A.I.N. technique, a four-part process that helps us learn how to stop running away from our tangled emotions and start to lovingly face them, we'll investigate and unblock the beliefs that cause suffering. Guiding us through meditations and practices on mindfulness, loving-kindness, forgiveness, allowing, and more, Brach shares key tools and expert insights for moving through this liberating process so that we can open and allow our lives to unfold, moment by moment.

"Mindfulness can strengthen our attention, awaken compassion and empathy, and expand our acceptance of our own inner states," teaches Brach. Meditation and Psychotherapy draws on the strengths of mindfulness meditation and the practice of modern therapeutic methods to help clear the emotional blocks holding us back.

Highlights:

R.A.I.N., a liberating four-step process for learning how to end the suffering caused by clinging to our emotions
• How we all can awaken from the trance of unworthiness using mindful awareness and lovingkindness
• The alchemy of self-compassion and how it can help in our relationships with others
• Why we don't have to believe our thoughts—the transformative power of self-inquiry
• "Touch and go," an approach for gently disarming the energy of trauma
• Tips for adapting practices for your individual client's needs
• A new model of psychotherapy that emphasizes the client/therapist relationship as an unfolding partnership
• More than eight hours of expert insights, practices, and tips for using mindfulness meditation and modern therapeutic methods to help untangle our difficult emotions (less)
GET A COPY
KoboOnline Stores ▾Book Links ▾
Audio CD, 10 pages
Published March 1st 2011 by Sounds True (first published February 28th 2011)
ISBN1591799708 (ISBN13: 0600835168922)
Edition LanguageEnglish
Other Editions (1)
자기 돌봄  - 누구보다 사랑하고 싶은 나를 위한 자기 치유법
All Editions | Add a New Edition | Combine
...Less DetailEdit Details
EditMY ACTIVITY
Review of ISBN 0600835168922
Rating
1 of 5 stars2 of 5 stars3 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars5 of 5 stars
Shelves to-read edit
( 645th )
Format Audio CD edit
Status
November 6, 2020 – Shelved as: to-read
November 6, 2020 – Shelved
Review Write a review
 
comment
FRIEND REVIEWS
Recommend This Book None of your friends have reviewed this book yet.
READER Q&A
Ask the Goodreads community a question about Meditation and Psychotherapy
54355902. uy100 cr1,0,100,100 
Ask anything about the book
Be the first to ask a question about Meditation and Psychotherapy

LISTS WITH THIS BOOK
Siddhartha by Hermann HesseThe Art of Happiness by Dalai Lama XIVZen Mind, Beginner's Mind by Shunryu SuzukiWhen Things Fall Apart by Pema ChödrönPeace Is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh
A Buddhist Reading List
814 books — 1,081 voters


More lists with this book...
COMMUNITY REVIEWS
Showing 1-30
 Average rating4.38  ·  Rating details ·  64 ratings  ·  8 reviews

Search review text


All Languages
More filters | Sort order
Sejin,
Sejin, start your review of Meditation and Psychotherapy: A Professional Training Course for Integrating Mindfulness into Clinical Practice

Write a review
Lisa Butterworth
May 12, 2018Lisa Butterworth rated it really liked it
in some way, it's all the same stuff, excerpt somehow it's also not. I'm not sure what magic Tara Brach taps into, but somehow she makes all the deep deeper and all the true truer.
flag1 like · Like  · comment · see review
Cheryl
Feb 21, 2018Cheryl rated it it was amazing
Shelves: psychology, spiritual-practice-mindfulness
I would listen to this book just to enjoy Tara’s voice. Especially on my hardest days, I have turned to Tara’s website or the Insight Timer app for her soothing and centering guided meditations and audiobooks. In addition to benefitting from the therapeutic quality of Tara’s presence, this course was an excellent overview for bringing mindfulness into our clinical works. Even if you choose not to teach mindfulness directly to clients, the teachings offer ways of being with suffering that are healing. She carefully and systematically teaches the power of being with the full range of our experiences with compassionate attention to reduce suffering along with the tools we need to skillfully do so. There are plenty of opportunities for developing our own practices along the way. RAIN is with me always and is one of my go to skills with clients and friends. A coherent and useful summary of mindfulness easily followed by new practitioners of mindfulness. In the end, you increase your capacity to help your self and your clients develop the affect tolerance (in the most expansive sense) we all need to be in the world with resilience and kindness. Thanks you once again Tara. (less)
flag1 like · Like  · comment · see review
Seawitch
Nov 12, 2018Seawitch rated it really liked it
Sometimes Tara loses me because I’m not tuned in enough to her “deepness”, but I always feel she really knows what she’s teaching and the more I listen to her (she has a great website too) the more awake I feel. I think I need some more practice before I’d use much of this with my patients - some written materials would be helpful - but I liked it a lot for myself. I particularly liked the last section on grief.
flagLike  · comment · see review
Megan-Magda Rosol
Feb 16, 2020Megan-Magda Rosol rated it really liked it
Shelves: listened-to, meditation, mental-health, motivational-self-help, nonfiction, read-library
Tara Brach and Pema Chodron are two of my favorite zen nuns. They are both wise, funny, calming, female-centric, and they both promote the type of lighthearted meditation that stick with me.
flagLike  · comment · see review
Rachel
Mar 25, 2012Rachel rated it it was amazing
Shelves: spiritual
This collection is not just for therapists, but her teachings are for anyone looking for ways to deal with the gamut of difficult emotions we all deal with. We learn to be present and give space to emotions without identifying with them. She expounds on the acronym "RAIN," which stands for recognize/acknowledge when a strong emotion is present, allow or acknowledge that the emotion is there, investigate--not intellectually--but viscerally to witness what is happening in the body, and not identif ...more
flagLike  · comment · see review
Lynne-marie
Jan 13, 2012Lynne-marie rated it really liked it
As helpful for the layperson as for the psychotherapist, this work approaches meditation as a full-fledged and integral part of psychotherapy. The author presents the philosophy, the methods of use, some samples for meditation process and so on. Very helpful to me in my personal quest to improve my meditation experience.
flagLike  · comment · see review
Angie
Jul 01, 2016Angie rated it it was amazing
Audiobook made up of several fantastic talks from Tara Brach. (It sounded like talks from a retreat?) I've listened to it several times on walks. Definitely not just for clinicians.

Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships: Healing the Wound of the Heart: Welwood, John: 9781590303863: Amazon.com: Audible Audiobooks

Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships: Healing the Wound of the Heart: Welwood, John: 9781590303863: Amazon.com: Audible Audiobooks




































A nationally known couples therapist reveals the single root cause of all relationship problems—and offers revolutionary advice on what to do about it
 
While most of us have moments of loving freely and openly, it is often hard to sustain this where it matters most—in our intimate relationships. If love is so great and powerful, why are human relationships so challenging and difficult? If love is the source of happiness and joy, why is it so hard to open to it fully and let it govern our lives? In this book, John Welwood addresses these questions and shows us how to overcome the most fundamental obstacle that keeps us from experiencing love's full flowering in our lives.

Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships begins by showing how all our relational problems arise out of a universal ‘wound of the heart’ that affects not only our personal relationships but the quality of life in our world as a whole. This core wound shows up as a pervasive mood of unlove—a deep sense that we are not intrinsically lovable just as we are. It shuts down our capacity to trust, so that even though we may hunger for love, we have difficulty opening to it and letting it circulate freely through us.

This book takes the reader on a powerful journey of healing and transformation that involves learning to embrace these imperfections—within ourselves and within our relationships—as trail-markers along the path to great love. It sets forth a process for releasing deep-seated grievances we hold against others for not loving us better and against ourselves for not being better loved. And it shows how our longing to be loved can magnetize the great love that will free us from looking to others to find ourselves.

Written with penetrating realism and a fresh, lyrical style that honors the subtlety and richness of our relationship to love itself, this revolutionary book offers profound and practical guidance for healing our lives as well as our embattled world.

Editorial Reviews
Review
<p style="line-height: 150%;"> “With clear instructions and an even tone, Welwood shows us how to heal our psychic scars by opening up to the ‘real love’ available to us all at the core of our nature.”—Tricycle

 “Welwood challenges us to move from self-hatred to self-love and to do the inner work to embrace the love that sets us free.”—Spirituality & Health

"Drawing equally from spiritual and psychological traditions, Perfect Love reads like a book of philosophy: the ideas seem sound enough, though there's no way to prove them. Welwood is most compelling when he gets practical. . . . His approach is also noteworthy for its emphasis on learning how to receive love as well as give it. . . . Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships offers both grand theories and useful practices for incorporating these lessons into your life."—Body & Soul

"Welwood skillfully identifies the fundamental obstacle in relationships and offers a clear, attainable, and transformative solution. Everyone should read this wonderful book."—Harville Hendrix, coauthor of Receiving Love and Getting the Love You Want




"This book skillfully and eloquently describes how our deepest longing for love is in fact the key to healing our personal wounds and the woundedness of the world at large. John Welwood's message echoes the Buddha's, showing us how we have direct access to the love and happiness we most long for, as our very essence."—Sharon Salzberg, author of Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness

"This book takes us on a healing and transformative journey to address the real, underlying cause of our relationship problems. John Welwood is one of the most brilliant and important teacher of our time."—Debbie Ford, author of The Best Year of Your Life and Spiritual Divorce

"Full of practical wisdom and divinely inspired insight. A marvelous guide for any seeker choosing to walk on love's path."—bell hooks, author of All About Love: New Visions

"A profound guide to healing our hearts and our world. No larger social transformation is possible unless it is simultaneously accompanied by this kind of personal healing, one individual at a time. Every social change movement should encourage its participants to take time to follow the steps outlined in this extremely valuable and important guide to psychic health."—Michael Lerner, editor of Tikkun and author of The Left Hand of God
About the Author
As a psychotherapist, teacher, and author, John Welwood has been a pioneer in integrating psychological and spiritual work. Welwood has published six books, including the best-selling Journey of the Heart (HarperCollins, 1990), as well as Challenge of the Heart (Shambhala, 1985), and Love and Awakening (HarperCollins, 1996). He is an associate editor of the Journal for Transpersonal Psychology. He leads workshops and trainings in psychospiritual work and conscious relationship throughout the world.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
All the most intractable problems in human relationships can be traced back to what I call the mood of unlove —a deep insecurity that most people harbor within themselves about being loved or lovable just for who they are. This doubt about our connection to love makes it hard to trust in ourselves, other people, life, or love itself.

The mood of unlove often shows up in the form of instant emotional reactivity to any perception of being slighted or treated badly. It's as though a huge reservoir of distrust and resentment is ready and waiting to be released—which the tiniest incident can trigger. For some couples, these emotional eruptions happen early on, blowing a budding relationship apart in their first few encounters. For others, the mood of unlove might not wreak its havoc until well into a seemingly happy marriage, when one or both partners suddenly wake up one day and realize they don't feel truly loved.

Fortunately, just as the sun is never permanently obscured by clouds, so our native capacity for love, for genuine warmth and openness, cannot be destroyed. To say that our heart is wounded means that we are lost in clouds that temporarily block our access to the sun that is always shining. Healing the love-wound, then, involves something like opening up spaces in the clouds and inviting the sun to do what it naturally wants to do: shine upon us.

Top reviews from the United States
Judy Roberts
5.0 out of 5 stars What a gift this book has been to me
Reviewed in the United States on May 5, 2016
Verified Purchase
This book is so terrific that I don't know how to begin to do it justice -- but I'll try!

Many things I could say about it are paradoxes:

* It's gentle, and yet it encourages the reader to undertake some pretty challenging exercises.

* It acknowledges our wounds -- how our parents stuffed us up, etc. -- and yet it shows the way through that pain to the appreciation and joy waiting beyond the pain.

* It shares enough theory to provide an intellectual understanding of how the human (flawed) side of us is created, yet it also shares at a practical level that helps us to tap into our feelings and, through them, to reach the spiritual dimension (perfect love) that's the ground of our being.

* It uses everyday English rather than psychological or religious jargon.

* I believe people of diverse backgrounds could enjoy this book, whether they approach it from a secular, Christian, Buddhist or whatever other point of view.

Welwood shares details of his own challenges, e.g., in his relationship with his mother, and also case histories of clients in his practice as a psychologist. The stories provide tangible examples that illustrate relevant points. The personal anecdotes convey the impression that he isn't setting himself up as the know-it-all expert lecturing us ignorant minions, but humbly admits to living in the trenches of life himself.

This book has helped me to make a giant leap in accepting myself and having compassion towards myself, in short, loving myself. There has been a corresponding expansion in the sense of compassion I feel towards other people and therefore acceptance of them as they are.
Read less
15 people found this helpful
Helpful
Comment Report abuse
Jon D. Kitner
3.0 out of 5 stars Another Way of Looking at the Relationships in Your Life
Reviewed in the United States on December 1, 2014
Verified Purchase
I first heard John Welwood on Sounds True, a podcast about spirituality. It made a big impression on me, so much so that I listened to the program half a dozen times. Then I shared it with my family and friends. Some family and friends wondered why I wanted them to read his book, Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships. As if my offering them this book was a suggestion that they needed therapy! So here is the point, if you are a "seeker" this book will come as a revelation, as it did for me. But, if you are a person who is not spiritual, or if you are critical of all the self help spin that our culture produces, well you know the expression, "you can lead a horse to water but..." John Welwood has put together an alternative way of viewing family relationships and creating a path towards self healing. As I studied parts of the text over and over, it became increasingly evident to me that the issues presented by the author and his ways of changing your perception about these issues was based on common sense or a kind of pragmatism that the psychologist William James would have liked. There are also Buddhist influences. I am not a Buddhist, but the direction this provides works within the framework of any faith or no faith. Anyone who struggles with their personal suffering, past or present will find some peace in this book.
29 people found this helpful
Helpful
Comment Report abuse
Kim Coffey
5.0 out of 5 stars Love is Greater Than Hatred
Reviewed in the United States on January 24, 2010
Verified Purchase
John Welwood's engaging book of objective love in theory and practicalities has opened a gateway for my 22 yr. marriage of patterns that have been misunderstood; which in turn we have regressed into frustration, underlying resentment, distrust, disconnection and isolation.

John's book has given me/us a lifeline (we are actually reading it together over morning coffee (a first of reading a book together), and it is a springboard for allowing attention and appreciation of the other) to grow into awareness of "why" we are in what what seems to be experiences outside of ourselves, and we can now "co-create" within ourselves as I thou, and discover a communion in relationship from "I thou" to "we are".

After you strip all of the righteous grievances away...there is an inherent diamond in the mud - that "Love is greater than hatred because it can embrace hatred, while hatred cannot embrace love. While love can exist free of hatred, hatred exists only because of love, as a painful symptom of our disconnection from it." (page 60). With this realization, I find myself bathing in a love consciousness that is inherent to my being, and that is enough to swim in the hate, understand it, let it go...and LIVE in the real mission of this planet - the power of love in all of its infinitely wide-spectrum of objectivity, grace and Isness in Being. Thank you John for bringing awareness in the duality of humanity of absolute love and relative love.
Read less
12 people found this helpful
Helpful
Comment Report abuse
Eman
5.0 out of 5 stars I appreciate that this book helps people tap into their core love and the fabric of love within all people
Reviewed in the United States on September 23, 2016
Verified Purchase
Poignant book about relationships. It is sometimes difficult to absorb the realities without over-identifying with the challenges encountered in interpersonal relationships. I appreciate that this book helps people tap into their core love and the fabric of love within all people.
3 people found this helpful
Helpful
Comment Report abuse
Vanna
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book for helping to heal the wound of the ...
Reviewed in the United States on June 16, 2016
Verified Purchase
Excellent book for helping to heal the wound of the heart. Must be far enough along in your spiritual journey to be able to recognize this need, though.
7 people found this helpful
Helpful
Comment Report abuse
Taylor Ellwood
5.0 out of 5 stars An excellent look at what makes love work
Reviewed in the United States on July 28, 2008
Verified Purchase
In this book, Welwood examines the concept of unlove and how that concept motivates the unhealthy patterns that people sometimes act out when in a relationship. I enjoyed this book as I enjoyed his other books. What I found useful was his thoughtful but also detailed examination of unlove and how it manifests. His examples of his work with clients was also helpful for illustrating his theories about unlove. Most importantly I came away with a better recognition of my own issues and how to cultivate a good awareness of those issues. Highly recommended for anyone who wants to better love hirself.
5 people found this helpful
Helpful
Comment Report abuse
Julie Reiser
5.0 out of 5 stars the only "self help" book you should ever read
Reviewed in the United States on March 25, 2008
Verified Purchase
This is a very clear and compelling book that gives meditation-based strategies for overcoming the kind of bad programming we all received as children and that we tend to carry around as unredressed grievances and bottled-up self-hatred. Rather than indulging or enabling the "inner child"--something that too many self-help books tend to do--this book explores how you can learn to let go of it and grow up.

Welwood's ideas and terminology are steeped in Buddhism and the Gurdjieff tradition, but they are presented so clearly and skillfully that anyone would find them relevant and accessible. This is the best $15 bucks you will ever spend.
9 people found this helpful
Helpful
Comment Report abuse
See all reviews
Top reviews from other countries
mintymoor
5.0 out of 5 stars A beautiful and graceful book full of wisdom and love.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 2, 2020
Verified Purchase
Interestingly, I was about to throw this book away - my decluttering and clearing process. I had probably bought it around 2010 and scan-read it at the time. I remember not liking it all that much, but for some reason kept it to return to at a later date. I had found it a little too new-agey. Too vague, kind of obsessed with relationships and couples in the American modern way, which barely resonated with me. Yet, re-reading it, I found it to be something else in its reveal.

And I am very grateful for this.

The book did take some focus and concentration for me. I had to take notes to condense it. It is written in long-hand expressionist way. Yet there is a precision and spareness that means you cannot just read it in one sitting, I felt, in case you miss something important. I am a spiritual Catholic by faith and practice but there were lots of ways the book opened up my understanding of Spirit and Love and the things we find that seem to get in the way, as the author says, the clouds covering the sun. A beautiful and graceful book full of wisdom and love.

I was sorry to read John Welwood died in 2019 (I am writing this in 2020), as would have liked to express my personal gratitude.
Read less
One person found this helpful
Report abuse
L. Myers
5.0 out of 5 stars Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 13, 2013
Verified Purchase
What a wonderfully insightful book, I wish all couples would read this book and keep it at their bedside for constant referral,
Many of the concepts are truths already learned whilst living my walk with Jesus Christ. many more were new.
This book is so helpful in so many ways that it would be impossible to list them, so I recommend that it be read and re-read with much deep thought and a sincere desire to learn valuable lessons in relationships.
2 people found this helpful
Report abuse
spood
4.0 out of 5 stars Worth a read
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 26, 2017
Verified Purchase
Bit like marmite, but would read as adjunct to counselling course for objective overview of good intentions gone bad and how we can view our attitudes to human interaction from our sometimes misplaced congruent selves
One person found this helpful
Report abuse
scott mills
5.0 out of 5 stars One of the best books out there
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 13, 2016
Verified Purchase
One of the best books out there .......

Helps you understand where relationships start to fail and that our child hood plays a very important role in our future .

This is really for both couples to read and can make you stronger .... :)
2 people found this helpful
Report abuse
chris b
5.0 out of 5 stars A healing gem
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 26, 2016
Verified Purchase
Beautifully clear, wise and incisive analysis of the root of much of our pain. Deep and effective exercises for working with problematic feelings and mind states.
2 people found this helpful
Report abuse
---

Jul 08, 2008Steev Hise rated it really liked it
Recommended to Steev by: Jane Martin
Shelves: spirit-self
This is a great book if you're truly interested in understanding intimate relationships and why they're so hard and how to make them work.

Welwood's book "Journey of the Heart" is what got me first interested in his work. He is on the verge of being a little too "oovy-groovy" for me, and a little Christian, but he avoids getting to much into that and keeps it non-denominationally spiritual and psychological.

Basically he's all about the idea that people are mostly pretty wounded and imperfect and you have to accept yourself for being broken and learn to love yourself so you can love other people.

pretty wise stuff. (less)
flag4 likes · Like  · comment · see review
Nora Berzawy
Oct 09, 2018Nora Berzawy rated it it was amazing
Now I have the answer for the question: which book has much added up to your life? (At least in the perspective score).
flag4 likes · Like  · comment · see review
Deb
Oct 18, 2012Deb rated it it was amazing
**To love and be loved…wounds and all**

Being human can often be a strange dilemma, especially in the realm of love. We deeply crave love, but have trouble fully giving and receiving it. The heart of the matter is that our woundedness around love—and the defenses that naturally follow—get in the way of our being able to truly love and be loved.

This is the dilemma the author addresses in _Perfect Love Imperfect Relationships_:
“How then can brokenhearted people like ourselves heal this woundedness around love that has been passed down through the generations, and set ourselves free from the strife that dominates our world? This is the most critical issue of human life, both personally and collectively. It is also the central focus of this book…You will discover that your wounding is not a fault or a defect but rather a guiding compass that can lead to greater connectedness. And this will allow you to live more creatively with the tension between love’s inherent perfection and relationship’s inevitable imperfection.” (pp. 6-7, 21)

The book serves as a guide for healing ourselves by “bringing ourselves back to life in the places we’re wounded and shut down.” (p. 149) It’s obvious that this process has been the focus of the author’s personal and professional life, and he so elegantly and poignantly captures many of his insights about the human struggle to achieve perfect love via imperfect relationships. Here are just a few that I found to be quite profound. (See if they stir your heart up a bit too):

*** The human love dilemma:
“On one hand we hunger for love—we cannot help that. Yet at the same time, we also deflect it and refuse to fully open to it because we don’t trust it…This whole pattern—not knowing we’re loved as we are, then numbing our heart to ward off this pain, thereby shutting down the pathways through which love can flow into and through us—is the wound of the heart. Although this love-wound grows out of childhood conditioning, it becomes in time a much larger spiritual problem—a disconnection from the loving openness that is our very nature.” (pp. 10-11)

*** The primary illusion:
“Yet this also gives rise to one of the most fundamental of human illusions: that the source of happiness and well-being lies outside us, in other people’s acceptance, approval, or caring…But the less experience we have of being loved as we are, the less we feel at home in our own heart. And this leaves us looking to others for the most essential connection of all—with the native sense of rightness and joy that arises only out of being rooted in ourselves…. What keeps the wound from healing is not knowing that we are lovely and loveable just as we are, while imagining that other people hold the key to this.” (pp. 46-47)

*** Love is imperfect:
“But the imperfect way our parents—or anyone else—loved us has nothing to do with whether love is trustworthy or whether we are lovable. *It doesn’t have the slightest bearing on who we really are.* It is simply a sign of ordinary human limitation, and nothing more. Other people cannot love us any more purely than their character structure allows.” (p. 48)

***Grief gets in the way of love:
“This is what is tragic about the mood of grievance: It shuts down the channel through which love could enter into us, cutting us off from its healing and regenerative power…‘I don’t feel loved’ eventually hardens into ‘I don’t trust love enough to let it in.’ Opening to love feels too threatening, and we don’t believe it is safe to do so….This is how grievances invariably become self-fulfilling prophecies…What we fail to grieve turns into grievance.” (pp. 67, 76)

***Grieving the grievance opens the heart to love:
“ The only way to heal the wound of the heart is through freeing up the feelings about loss of connection that remain stored in our body, so that they can be fully digested and move on through us….Learning to hold your woundedness in the embrace of your own compassionate presence help you be present to yourself in a new way that penetrates the thick, defensive shell around the heart. This is what allows the medicine to flow.” (pp. 76-77)

***Meeting yourself in the place where you feel unmet:
“By meeting yourself in the place where you feel unmet, something new and powerful happens. Something so simple yet so radical: You start to inhabit yourself. You reinhabit your lonely heart and bring it back to life.” (p. 82)

*** Allowing love:
“For love can touch you only when your heart is accessible. To be loved, then, is to *be* love.” (pp. 50-51)

***Choosing gratitude over grievance:
“At every moment we have the choice of either feeling gratitude for what has been given to us or indulging in grievance about what is missing. Grievance and gratitude are polar opposites. Grievance focuses on what is *not* there—the imperfections of relative love—and looks for someone to blame. Gratitude recognizes what *is* here –the simple beauty of human presence and contact—and responds to it with appreciation. When we reflect on how our life is possible only because it is held, surrounded, and nourished by a field of kindness, this gives rise to natural gratitude.” (p. 94)

***Unconditional presence digests childhood pain:
“If the wound of unlove is undigested pain from childhood, then letting yourself experience it with unconditional presence is a way of digesting that old pain. Then it no longer remains something solid and frozen that clogs your system. This is a simple and direct way of starting to heal your woundedness, the fearful shutdown you became stuck in as child.” (p. 108)

***Healing through self-understanding:
“Though you often try to get others to understand you, the understanding that heals you the most is your own. As the warmth of understanding starts to flow, it washes away your grievance against yourself, allowing self-love to take its place.” (p. 117)

***Absolute inner love plugs the holes:
“As long as you still hold onto the childhood fixation on not being loved, then no matter how much others love you, it will never be enough. The wound will operate like a hole in you: No matter how much love someone pours in, it will always leak out the bottom. And you will continue focusing on the love that’s not there rather than the love that is. That is why the practice of tuning in to absolute love is so important. It is a way out of the endless, fruitless attempt to plug the hole of love from outside…To know that you are loved, then, is to know that you *are* love.” (p. 147)

***True healing comes from within:
“Yet even when a relationship functions in this positive way, it’s important to remember that true nourishment, growth, and expansion come about only through what happens within us, in how we learn to soften and open our guarded heart. Looking to someone else to fill our holes or always satisfy our passion only cuts us off from the wellspring of beauty and power within.” (p. 150)

***Existential aloneness—the only guard is the presence of our own heart:
“Of course, in our creaturely vulnerability, there is no way to avoid loss and separation from what we love. We cannot avoid coming back again and again to the experience of being alone. No one can finally get inside our skin and share our experience—the nuances that we alone feel, the changes that we alone are going through, the death that we alone must die. Nonetheless, loss, separation, and this fundamental aloneness are important teachers, for they force us to take up residence in the only real home we have—the naked presence of the heart, which no external loss can destroy…Standing in this, our own true ground, is the ultimate healing balm for the ache of separation and the wound of love. ‘You must fall in love with the one inside your own heart,’ says the teacher Poonja. ‘Then you will see that it has always been there, but that you have wanted something else. To taste bliss, forget all other tastes and taste the wine served within.’ The warmth and openness at our core is the most intimate beloved who is always present, and into whose arms we can let go at last.” (pp. 159-160)

Bottom line: To truly love others (wounds and all), you must first be able to deeply love yourself (wounds and all). Now on to those other human dilemmas…









(less)
flag2 likes · Like  · comment · see review
Judie68
May 17, 2012Judie68 rated it really liked it
Read this last night...and it floored me. I think is might be one of the most important books I've read in a while. When the student is ready...
"All the beauty and horrors of this world arise from the same root: the presence or absence of love. Not feeling loved and then taking that to heart is the only wound there is. It cripples us causing us to shrivel and contract. Thus, apart from a few biochemical imbalances and neurological disorders, the diagnostic manual for psychological afflictions known as the DSM might as well begin: Herein are described all the wretched

(less)
flag2 likes · Like  · comment · see review
Nancy
Oct 23, 2009Nancy rated it it was amazing
Shelves: favorites
I was hooked at the introduction and bought 20 copies of the book before I had finished to give to friends. I now have two of this author's books and will place them on my shelves of books to read over and over again. It's right up there with my copies of "A New Earth," "The Power of Now," "Mindfulness in Plain English" and "Breath by Breath." I hope I'm contributing to world peace by sharing this book with others.
flag2 likes · Like  · comment · see review
LeeTravelGoddess
Nov 07, 2019LeeTravelGoddess rated it it was amazing
Wonderful book about exploring the debts of where love and process of obtaining such comes from. It’s quite simple. I enjoyed the simplistic ways in which he broke it down and presented exercises at the end! I’m so happy I chose this book I just don’t know what to do.

I’m realizing that I am however on the right track and in time, I’ll know what to do if past emotions find themselves on the rise. This is a part of my tops collection and I stand behind it being recommended reading for the WORLD.

And I just want to say that you can be anti-theist or an atheist but to completely ignore the rest of the world and what their potential beliefs could be is just another way of not allowing love to flow. Be you, that’s fine, your beliefs are yours but to criticize based on a well rounded text that places things in perspective for all is beyond me. Don’t be so afraid that someone else’s beliefs may permeate your being that you feel it necessary to block out the opinions of others; that is absurd. Only YOU CAN CHANGE YOU— it’s your choice! 💚💚💚 I feel a shift in me and I wish to read more of John’s books as well as many others on love! (less)
flag1 like · Like  · comment · see review
Emilija Dukauskaite
Sep 07, 2019Emilija Dukauskaite rated it it was amazing
A beautiful book that helps to understand why you and others around you might be afraid of love. Also, why some lovers are too attached when others are too distant. Overall, it helps you not only understand yourself a little bit more but be more empathetic towards others as well.
flag1 like · Like  · comment · see review
Mattia
Nov 15, 2017Mattia rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Not a “perfect” book (it’s worth pushing through the stuff on forgiveness and taking it at face value rather than as a judgment), but very much what I️ needed right now. Helped me synthesize a bunch of insights I’ve been poking away at for a while. Five stars because it made such a difference for me.
flag1 like · Like  · comment · see review
Emily
Jan 07, 2012Emily rated it it was amazing
The best book on relationships I've read. Highly recommend.
flag1 like · Like  · comment · see review
haley
Feb 19, 2020haley rated it liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
I started reading this book when I was a really sad and conflicted state of mind. I had recently gone through a breakup with a guy I had really strong feelings for, who I might even describe as my first real love. I felt betrayed and abandoned in the end, and I was incredibly hurt. This experience triggered my old fears that I was worthless and that nobody would ever appreciate me or love me as much as I did for them. I always feel like the loser in the end, giving all my love and loyalty to people who can't or won't do the same for me.

So this book gave me some helpful insights and allowed me to think about my pain from an outside perspective. It was a bit of a healing experience. The tone of the book felt really kind and compassionate, if that makes sense, and it was really nice to read the words of an outside source describe feelings that I've sat with for so long.

A couple drawbacks, in my opinion however. The exercises, while thought provoking, were not always helpful for me. Also this book has a LOT of spiritual and religious-esque language, and as an atheist who isn't particularly spiritual either this just didn't do it for me. It wasn't my cup of tea.

Tl;dr version- an interesting book. It isn't the end all be all of my process of healing my old wounds and growing from my past experiences. But it was a nice start. (less)
flagLike  · comment · see review
Marianna
Dec 02, 2018Marianna rated it it was amazing
Shelves: relationships, favorites, communication, personal-growth, psychology
A very beautiful and wise book with many passages about human/relative love and absolute/divine love that are sheer gems. Those many priceless passages alone warrant a 5 star review.

I question, however, whether the exercises that focus on the feeling of unlove and the sense of lacking love in order to connect to the absolute love within us are truly necessary and even recommendable. We can go straight to connecting with absolute love without having to subject ourselves to feelings of lack, I think. The "ask" has already been made from time immemorial in order to "receive" or connect with what's already there because that absolute love is a manifestation of our essential nature, so there's no need to continue asking, in my view. That said, perhaps folks who have been hardened enough to not connect at all with their need for love and what they do want may find them helpful. (less)
flagLike  · comment · see review
Michael-David Sasson
Feb 17, 2019Michael-David Sasson rated it it was amazing
Shelves: romance
"At the bottom of my grievance against a world gone mad, I discovered the vulnerable child who still didn't know that love was fully available or truly reliable." p6 introduction *Also see Deb's 2012 review for important quotes*

This book is an exploration of what human nature desires from love and how romantic relationships are both a gateway to getting that (if viewed correctly) while also a disappointment to realizing those things if seen as an end in themselves. It's interesting that Welwood explores desire with a similar (and to me new) understanding to that presented in Mark Epstein's "Open to Desire: Truth About What the Buddha Taught" that I recently finished and Phillip Moffitt's "Dancing with Life" that I am currently reading. (less)
flagLike  · comment · see review
Kelley
Nov 09, 2018Kelley rated it liked it
I have to remain pretty neutral on this one. Not because it wasn't good. It may be outstanding, but I wasn't ready for this. This book asks you to do a lot of introspection. A lot of looking within, time with yourself, examining your feelings as they come naturally. Trying to feel love and other emotions through conjuring them in a time of calm.
I want to be here with myself and my feelings. I want to do these things, feel these things, know these things.... but I'm not in that place right now, I'm not ready to dedicate to this.
But I know it's here.... for when I am ready. (less)
flagLike  · comment · see review
Usama Saeed
May 24, 2020Usama Saeed rated it it was amazing
The most wonderful book i have ever read , I profoundly invite everyone who is interested in spirituality and discovering the true self to read this masterpiece . Thank you so much John Welwood , I wish if you were alive and thank you personally for the great amazing efforts you put in this book