2023/02/15

Charlotte Kasl Books

Charlotte Kasl (Author of If the Buddha Dated) | Goodreads

Charlotte Kasl


Born
The United States
Website


Charlotte Sophia Kasl, PhD, is a U.S. psychologist and author.

She pioneered the 16-Steps for Discovery and Empowerment as an alternative to the Twelve-step program for recovery from addiction, compulsion, or other behavioral problems.

She wrote several books based on some aspects of Sufi, Quaker, and Buddhist spiritual beliefs and traditions.


Average rating: 4.13 · 4,790 ratings · 435 reviews · 19 distinct works • Similar authors
If the Buddha Dated: A Hand...

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 4.12 avg rating — 2,688 ratings — published 1999 — 18 editions
If the Buddha Got Stuck: A ...

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 4.13 avg rating — 783 ratings — published 2005 — 19 editions
If the Buddha Married: Crea...

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 4.10 avg rating — 625 ratings — published 2001 — 16 editions
Women, Sex, and Addiction

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 4.37 avg rating — 222 ratings — published 1900
If the Buddha Had Kids: Rai...

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 4.13 avg rating — 165 ratings — published 2012 — 13 editions
Many Roads, One Journey: Mo...

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 4.19 avg rating — 140 ratings — published 1994 — 4 editions
Finding Joy: 101 Ways to Fr...

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 3.96 avg rating — 101 ratings — published 1994 — 6 editions
A Home for the Heart: Creat...

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 4.52 avg rating — 25 ratings — published 1997 — 2 editions
Zen And The Art Of Falling ...

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 3.65 avg rating — 17 ratings — published 1999 — 3 editions
If the Buddha Were in Love:...

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 4.23 avg rating — 13 ratings — published 2001
More books by Charlotte Kasl…

Charlotte Kasl Quotes

Charlotte Kasl > Quotes

Showing 1-30 of 43

“The only sure path is to live consciously, moment to moment, as you let go of the outcome.”

― Charlotte Kasl

21 likesLike

“Staying loyal to your journey means you never abandon yourself by compromising your integrity or discounting your intuition or the signals that come from your body—the knot in the gut, emotional detachment, or loss of energy that signals something is amiss.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

15 likesLike

“Our refuge is being exactly where we are - not dramatizing problems by replaying them in our heads, telling stories to our friends, eliciting sympathy and convincing ourselves that this is a very big deal. Our refuge is in the stillness of being the compassionate witness to our panic and fear - not judging it as good or bad, just accepting the what is of the moment.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

tags: refuge, stillness11 likesLike

“Instead of trying to freeze the present moment and hang on to it, we need to remember that life is a process of constantly letting go. The ego wants dependable rituals and people who stay the same. But to be free means that we enjoy this touch, this kiss, this sunrise, and then let it go. This is sometimes described as not letting the ground under your feet get too solid, not grasping for security or predictability.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

tags: freedom, impermeance11 likesLike

“If you put sexual attraction on a scale of one to ten, where ten equals "you can't keep your hands off each other,"five equals "you can take it or leave it," and one equals "repulsed," to support a vibrant relationship, it should be at least a seven, preferably an eight, nine, or ten. With work, you might raise the attraction one notch, but because there is so much biochemistry involved in sexual attraction, it's hard to do much more than that. So if a sexual attraction doesn't evolve, remember, it's not anyone's fault and it's just the what is of your pairing, and you might make better friends than lovers.


Sexual attraction doesn't have to be instantaneous on first meeting, but it must eventually flower because it provides a basic glue for successful conjugal union. If we're not sexually alive to our beloved, it often leads to a subdued relationship, loneliness, affairs, or lots of fantasies.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

tags: attraction9 likesLike

“Every time we open one door, we close another. It's lovely to spend Sunday morning with our new love, cooking breakfast and taking a walk together. But in the midst of our happiness, we may feel nostalgia for our former Sunday morning ritual of uninterrupted time alone at a favorite restaurant reading the newspaper. We need to acknowledge the presence of both excitement and loss, to feel their rhythm as they ebb and flow through a new relationship. If we try to deny our losses, they lead to resentments, a gnawing discomfort, and a desire to withdraw.


Yet we also need to remind our ego that love means letting go of our entrenched rituals, of comparing, of wanting life to stay the same...Entering a relationship and living in the heart of the Beloved means our life will change, our shells will crack open and we will never be the same again.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

tags: change9 likesLike

“Instead of turning our heads from pain, we merge with it, neither holding on to it nor pushing it away, becoming instead an instrument of transformation. Recently, on my early morning drive to a health club, I saw a deer in the middle lane, trying to get up, but obviously crippled. Her eyes looked confused and frightened. As I drove by, I breathed in her pain and breathed out a blessing. I could feel a dark cloud swirling inside of me, but I also had an image of a deer running freely in the woods. I can never know if it helped her, but something loosened inside of me. Instead of turning away from her pain, I joined her. It was then I realized more deeply the power of Tonglin...


When you feel hurt, confused, lonely, or sad, breathe into your pain, feel it, be with it, then breathe out an image of clarity, light, and a blessing. This alone will start to change your life.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

tags: meditation, tonglin8 likesLike

“Ego says: I want someone to fill me up. Spirit says: I'll have someone to help me wake up, to challenge my blind spots and be a companion and playmate on the journey.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

8 likesLike

“On the spiritual path we must become a gentle warrior--curious, kind, and alert to our own con games--whispering to ourselves, wake up.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

tags: spiritual-awakening, spiritual-path7 likesLike

“If we succumb to fear, we start holding back, and do that all-to-common dance of getting close, then pulling away. When we remember that our safe harbor depends on our awareness and honesty, we're less likely to make internal compromises, put on masks, or act like a chameleon to attract a partner or keep a hurtful relationship together. If we live by truth, we may have pain, but we will always rest securely in ourselves.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

tags: awareness, honesty7 likesLike

“We feel connected one moment and disconnected the next. A tender sexual moment will never be exactly the same. Every breath we take connects us to life, then passes, until a new breath fills us. We move through new developmental and spiritual stages, daily, weekly... we stop the flow the moment we try to hold on to anything...


You partner with someone as they are in this moment. The vitality can remain if you adventure forth, side by side savoring the moment to moment shifts that inevitably arise as you both stay open to the journey. We need to look at each other anew every day, with clear eyes and an open mind, so we see the person of today, not an image from the past.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

tags: impermeance6 likesLike

“If in a relationship there is no tension [meaning no deepening of knowledge of self and others], it ceases to be a relationship and merely becomes a comfortable sleep state, an opiate - which most people want and prefer.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

6 likesLike

“Generosity says a great deal about a person's emotional and spiritual development. When it's hard to give, or it feels like ripping away a part of the self, we are still anchored in our attachments or stories we've created about scarcity. If this applies to you, make friends with the part of you that feels resentful or finds it difficult to give.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

tags: generosity5 likesLike

“We're like the teenager who "will die" if he or she can't go to a certain rock concert or see a certain friend. Because we tell ourselves it's absolutely crucial that [things should be a certain way right now] we create turmoil and anxiety. It's not [the way things are] that causes pain, it's the meaning we give to these events and our demand that such things not happen. While we can have preferences, the minute we start insisting that people and situations be different, we create internal turmoil - anger, hostility, sadness, and so on. It's our attachments that lead us to donning a mask, blaming others, or feeling incomplete.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

tags: attachment5 likesLike

“• Our longing is also our desire to be known completely. Imagine having your beloved look tenderly into your eyes, knowing all your secrets, having seen you be crabby and sweet, selfish and generous, and still truly loving you. Imagine being able to do the same. That is the potential of a conscious relationship.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

tags: inspirational, life, love, relationship5 likesLike

“The more we commit to knowing and accepting ourselves, the more we are able to surrender to loving another person because we have nothing to hide and nothing to feel ashamed of. Our spiritual commitment to truth and integrity creates a safe harbor within us- a mooring, a home to return to when the journey gets rough, This is immensely important in the dating process because new love can resurrect our most primitive feelings of fear, dependency, and emptiness. If we know how to soothe our pain and relax into or emptiness, we won't be afraid to be open and honest, regardless of the outcome.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

tags: awareness, dating, love, relationships, self-love4 likesLike

“The only way of full knowledge lies in the act of love; this act transcends thought, it transcends words. It is the daring plunge into the experience of union. To love somebody is not just a strong feeling—it is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

4 likesLike

“On the spiritual path, the purpose of my relationship is to wake up and get to know ourselves and our lover, thoroughly, without judgment or pride. On the spiritual path, we enter into a shared union where we cherish and give to each other, expanding our ability to love unconditionally. We would also accept that the process an be awkward, unpredictable, challenging, and surprising.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

tags: dating, love, relationships, spiritual-path, unconditional-love3 likesLike

“More than anything else, I want myself. I want to live with integrity and truth. I’m not going to hide the jewel of who I am, nor will I mask my imperfections. No bargains, no avoiding reality, no conning myself, no lies.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

3 likesLike

“Love brings up anything that is hiding.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

tags: dating, love, relationships3 likesLike

“Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

3 likesLike

“Remember, it’s better to speak up and let a relationship fall apart than to live in fear, or sacrifice your integrity.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

3 likesLike

“I want this music and this dawn and the warmth of your cheek against mine. —R”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

2 likesLike

“Some of the often told stories we use to con ourselves: It’s getting better. Nobody’s perfect. S/he had a hard childhood. I know s/he really loves me, s/he just has a hard time showing it. S/he has so much potential. I’m sure it will get better. Don’t ever marry potential or plan on someone changing. Ask yourself, why would it get better? Why would this person change?”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

2 likesLike

“Trust your observations and intuitive responses. Bring up your concerns as they appear.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

2 likesLike

“there is a circular relationship between our ability to know and love another and our ability to know and love ourselves.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

2 likesLike

“Sufism is about connecting with the intuitive parts of ourselves so that we can attune to the highest vibration in the universe, which is pure love. It's about joining together in the mystical heart.”

― Charlotte Kasl

tags: sufism1 likesLike

“Just as children thrive with loving kindness from a caregiver, so too we are sustained by friendship, spiritual nurture, and a sense of belonging throughout our lives. 34.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Got Stuck: A Handbook for Change on a Spiritual Path

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“Just bringing our full attention to what we are doing, and when we are done, we go home. But we are forever changed—while the performance is over, the music now lives within us.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Got Stuck: A Handbook for Change on a Spiritual Path

1 likesLike


Yes You Can: A Guide to Empowerment Groups Books Charlotte Kasl

Yes You Can: A Guide to Empowerment Groups - Kasl, Charlotte, Ph.D. | 9780964452008 | Amazon.com.au | Books


Yes You Can: A Guide to Empowerment Groups Paperback – 1 February 1995
by Ph.D. Kasl, Charlotte (Author)

4.7 out of 5 stars 9 ratings

Paperback
$579.22
3 Used from $52.363 New from $576.00

Yes You Can! provides an invaluable source of support and information 
for people wanting a model that is holistic, socially conscious, flexible and positive. Based on love, not fear, this 16-step healing model addresses the underlying roots of addiction through the steps and the accompanying exercises. 
Yes You Can! takes people from recovery to discovery, empowerment, and joy.

Castle Consulting
Publication date  1995
====
Customer Reviews:
4.7 out of 5 stars 9 ratings

About the authors

Charlotte Sophia Kasl



There are 21 translations of 42 foreign editions with 800,000 in print of Charlotte Kasl's books which include some titles such as; the If The Buddha series, Women's Love, Sex, and Addiction, Many Roads One Journey, Finding Joy, A Home For The Heart, Yes You Can!, and more. Please check out additional books and articles available by Charlotte Kasl on Amazon.

Charlotte Kasl has an M.A. in Piano from The University of Michigan, and a Ph.D. in Counseling from Ohio University in 1982. She was a Licensed Psychologist in Minnesota for 15 years and is currently a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor in Montana. She is a Certified Addiction Specialist in the areas of chemical dependency and sexuality and has had a private psychotherapy practice for more than 30 years. She is the author of nine books and numerous articles.

Dr. Kasl has conducted a wide variety of workshops on relationships, addiction, sexuality, spirituality, community, healing from incest and abuse, casting out internalized oppression, preventing burn out, quantum healing, empowerment, and finding joy, both in the United States and abroad. Her groundbreaking book Many Roads, One Journey: Moving Beyond the 12 Steps, published in 1992, introduced a 16-step empowerment approach for overcoming addiction that focuses on finding one's voice, building confidence, taking action on one's behalf, and understanding addiction in a cultural context. It has been used throughout the United States and Canada, as well as Europe, to assist in overcoming trauma, addiction, and depression.

In 1987, she was part of a task force funded by the Department of Human Services in Minnesota to create a model treatment program for chemically dependent women. She was on the advisory board of The Women's Recovery Network, The Women's Action Alliance for Alcohol and Drug Education, and invited twice by the National Center for Substance Abuse Prevention to participate in a synthesis conference to make recommendations on the needs of women. She has consulted with numerous treatment programs and served on several advisory boards, such as The Organization for Secular Sobriety, known as Save OurSelves (SOS).

Dr. Kasl is also a founding member of ATTACH, The Association for the Teaching and Training in the Attachment of Children. In 1997, she received a Lifetime Achievement Award from the National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity, (now knows as SASH Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health) for her work with women and sexuality. In 2000, If the Buddha Dated was one of five finalists for the National Books for Better Living Awards. In addition, she was listed in Self magazine as one of 50 "sage" psychologists in the United States.

In her psychotherapy therapy practice, Dr. Kasl takes an empowering approach by helping people address the core issues underlying depression, anxiety, addictions, and relationship difficulties. She works with numerous therapeutic approaches, such as ego state therapy, hypnosis, quantum psychology, EMDR, cognitive therapy, and emotionally focused therapy for couples. She is also an avid hiker, pianist, and has been a Reiki Master Healer since 1983.

www.charlottekasl.com

Ph.D. Kasl, Charlotte


Customer reviews
4.7 out of 5 stars



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Top reviews from other countries

JmyLo
5.0 out of 5 stars You do have the power to change.
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on 18 October 2018

This book is changing my life so so much. A must for any woman struggling with addiction. Much deeper look than what I was getting in 12 step programs.

2 people found this helpfulReport abuse

Angie
5.0 out of 5 stars Fierce Self Love
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on 15 November 2013
Verified Purchase

Very good book to work thru the 16 steps even on one's own. I purchased for this reason as starting a group is not in the cards for me right now, and I wanted to walk this path of empowerment and freedom.

6 people found this helpful



Shirley E. Lewis
5.0 out of 5 stars Five StarsReviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on 27 July 2015
Verified Purchase

For people, especially women, who are sick of having AA jammed down their throats.

7 people found this helpfulReport abuse

artistwannabe
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book, but the photo was not the book ...Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on 13 October 2014
Verified Purchase

Great book, but the photo was not the book I got. I got a different edition than the green one pictured.
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Yes You Can: 16 Steps for Discovery and Empowerment Kindle Edition
by Charlotte Kasl (Author) Format: Kindle Edition

Kindle

$13.78 to buy

Healing from Trauma and Addiction Love, Strength and Power