THE SPIRITUAL CARE COMMITTEE
Copyright © 2012
Fourth Month, 2012: 10
A Ministry of Prayer and Learning devoted to the School of the Spirit
THE SPIRITUAL CARE COMMITTEE
A Ministry of Prayer and Learning devoted to the School of the Spirit
serves Friends throughout North America and
is under the care of the Worship and Care Committee of Philadelphia Yearly Meeting
Contents
FOREWORD
.....................................................................................
3
I.
INTRODUCTION
......................................................................... 5
Types of Care Committees
............................................................... 5
Clearness committees
...................................................................... 5
Pastoral care committees
................................................................. 6
Spiritual Care Committees ..............................................................
6
II. THE SPIRITUAL CARE COMMITTEE
................................. 9
Purpose
...............................................................................................
9
Support. ...........................................................................................
9
Guidance.
......................................................................................
11
Accountability.
..............................................................................
11
Service to the faith community.
.................................................... 11
Summary
..........................................................................................
12
Formation, Structure and Responsibilities
................................... 12
Characteristics of Committee members.
....................................... 12
Selection of Committee Members.
................................................ 15
Committee Clerk. ..........................................................................
16
The Three Tools.
........................................................................... 18
Summary
..........................................................................................
21
III.
EVALUATING THE SPIRITUAL CARE COMMITTEE .. 21
Queries
and Advices for Committee Members ............................. 21
Queries
and Advices for the Friend ............................................... 23
AFTERWORD
................................................................................
25
GLOSSARY
.....................................................................................
27
CORE CHARACTERISTICS .......................................................
32
FOREWORD
The words in this pamphlet have come from years of
listening to and observing the interactions of participants in the School of
the Spirit Ministry’s On Being a
Spiritual Nurturer program and their Spiritual
Care Committees.
The Spiritual Care Committee consists of those Friends and others that
walk with the participant and witness their journey toward transformation. We have learned valuable lessons and skills
that we believe others might find useful and we offer them herein.
The words have their roots in a particular way of
knowing. In the School of the Spirit Ministry, the journey toward
transformation is interpreted using a certain language and understanding of
story. That language and story is what
Quakers have used since their formational days, which is the language of
Christianity and the still unfolding Judeo-Christian story. We would not be honest with ourselves or the
user of this document if we did not name the place from which our knowing
comes, which is Christ, the Inward Teacher, whose immediate and perceptible
guidance in all things moves us into prayer, worship, and service. We have labored to make the language of the document
accessible to all readers without denying the Truth of our own knowing.[1]
Enter with an open heart.
The journey of transformation is subverted if the heart is not open to
hear another’s song. We invite the user
of this document into the freedom of the open space of Truth where all languages
spoken from the Heart are heard by the One Creator of us all. Therein, we abide in unity and love and
understanding, and beyond words.
15th
day, 4th month, 2012
To
“listen” another’s soul into a condition of disclosure and discovery may be
almost the greatest service that any human being ever performs for
another.
Douglas
Steere[2]
I. Introduction
Since its inception in 1990, the School of the Spirit
Ministry has required participants in its long-term program, On Being a Spiritual Nurturer, to be
supported by a spiritual care committee comprised of members from a
participant’s home meeting or church. In
an ongoing effort to deepen our understanding of spiritual care committees –
their structure, function and value – numerous consultations and discussions
have taken place over the course of twenty years. Conversations with program teachers, program participants
and Friends serving on spiritual care committees have led the School of the
Spirit Ministry to a keen awareness of the many blessings and gifts brought
forth by the Spirit working through such committees. Seeing clearly the value
that spiritual care committees can have for Friends’ monthly meetings and
churches, we are eager to communicate our experiences and findings with others.
Types
of Care Committees
Meetings and churches are always under a call to care for
individuals within the corporate body.
To facilitate that charge, committees of care are formed to serve in a
variety of situations. Under the care of
Worship and Ministry, Ministry and Counsel, Care and Counsel, or equivalent
meeting/church committees,[3] care committees are called
together to encourage and support spiritual development and growth among
members of the community. Care committee
members seek to be steeped and guided by prayer, to listen deeply to God and
one another, and to respond from Spirit-led discernment.
Let us look briefly now at three different types of care
committees used by Friends: clearness committees; pastoral care committees; and
spiritual care committees. Each is
similar in purpose, but has unique features as well.
Clearness
committees endeavor
to assist a Friend seeking clarity about a concern. Historically, the clearness committee focused
on issues of meeting membership and marriage.
In more recent times clearness committees may meet with those who are
seeking clearness in other personal decisions.
Clearness committees are usually of short term duration and highly
focused on a specific concern.
Pastoral care
committees are
formed to assist or to carry out the pastoral work of the faith community. Pastoral care committees serve as long as
needed. All manner of care may be
needed, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual. As Arlene Kelly writes in the Pastoral Care Newsletter,
Pastoral care is the
way in which we journey with each other in times of celebration, sadness,
turmoil, during transitions and along the quiet stretches. Together with our shared worship experience,
it is the main glue that holds our meeting community together.[4]
Spiritual Care
Committees are
charged to hold and nurture
Friends who are spiritually gifted and called, through
leadings or ministry, to the work of God’s continuing transformation.
A Spiritual Care Committee is sometimes referred to as an
“anchor committee” (e.g. Traveling Ministries Program, FGC), as an “oversight”
committee, or as a Spiritual Accountability Group (e.g. Central Philadelphia
Monthly Meeting).
Our faith communities are blessed by, depend upon, and
are grateful for the gifts each and every person brings to our
meetings/churches. Friends have long
expressed the belief that when a faith community is in need, God sends who or
what is needed. Often gifts come to us
through the skills, talents and experiences offered by individuals. When our gifts are blended, we have a
well-functioning community.
The term “spiritual
gifts” refers specifically to God-given ways of serving and God-given
qualities brought to that service. The
word “ministry” literally means “service.”
As envisioned in this paper, ministry is defined as service devoted to
God and to God’s beloved people, whether within our faith community or the
world. One serving under a leading, or
in ministry, is called to make and sustain an intentional commitment to use his/her spiritual gifts in
Spiritguided, loving service as long as he/she is led and graced with such
gifts.
The
responsibilities that accompany spiritual giftedness are numerous, and each
must be assumed and carried out in order for the full benefit of the gift to be
felt in the faith community. For the
individual, the responsibilities of giftedness include naming and accepting the
gift and offering it to the faith community in God’s service. For the faith community, the responsibilities
include helping the individual name and develop the gift, and accepting its
exercise within the community--agreeing to be ministered to. If these responsibilities are shirked on
either side, the gift will not grow into its maturity and the faith of the
community will not be nurtured as it needs.
Lloyd
Lee Wilson[5]
II. The
Spiritual Care Committee
Purpose
The general purpose of the Spiritual Care Committee is
twofold:
1.
to provide sustained support, loving
guidance, and accountability to a Friend who labors under a leading;
2.
to help the faith community fulfill its
charge and obligation to develop and support spiritual growth in its membership
and to utilize the gifts given in service to the community by God.
In serving the individual of focus (hereafter referred to
in italics as the Friend), the
Spiritual Care Committee recognizes that the
Friend on a spiritual journey must daily confront the inward and outward
implications of her/his leading. The
Committee seeks to provide a safe and worshipful space where the Friend can be intentional about the
life in the Spirit she/he is being asked to lead. Through listening deeply, attentively, and
reverently, the Committee offers an invitation for the Friend, and all present on the Committee, to grow in right
relationship with God. The Spiritual
Care Committee anchors the Friend
within the Meeting and holds him/her accountable to God and responsible to the
community. The very fact that the Spiritual Care
Committee meets on behalf of Ministry and Counsel and the
Meeting/church validates the Friend and
the ministry being undertaken indicates that, indeed, the leading is something
worth nurturing.
We will now explore each of the four elements of the
Spiritual Care Committee named above: support, guidance, accountability
and service to the community.
Support. It
is assumed that the Friend
undertaking a spiritual journey involving service to God and others has
experienced a clearness committee where he/she explored deeply his/her
calling. Then, if the Friend receives clarity, Ministry and Counsel and the Friend work together to assemble a
Spiritual Care Committee. Usually, the Friend responding to a calling
recognizes that his/her service may require a commitment of months or even
years.
Many, perhaps most, Friends consider themselves on a
life-long spiritual journey. So, it is
not too difficult to put ourselves in the shoes of another on such a path. We can glimpse what may happen to the Friend under a calling or leading.
As an example, perhaps the Friend’s work is to nurture the spiritual life of Friends or
the religious life of those outside the Religious Society of Friends. Often, spiritual callings take Friends beyond
the boundary of their immediate faith community.
In the process of serving the Spirit, the Friend may be invited to surrender herself
to being searched by a loving God, requiring her to look deeply into herself,
her beliefs, her prejudices, her practices.
In her work, she may be challenged by others through comments or
questions that jar her to the core. Through this turmoil, she must seek Truth
and claim and integrate new perceptions and grow into her understanding,
service, and accountability to God.
Or, perhaps, the
Friend may have a spiritual leading to organize a coalition of
counter-recruitment efforts within his county’s schools, requiring him to stay
with the process until some specific goal is achieved. He may find his path interesting, exciting,
and deeply rewarding most of the time.
Yet, at other times, he is called to reconsider aspects of his spiritual
beliefs that he holds dear. Strong,
disturbing spiritual disquiet may occur, leaving the Friend to feel uncertain about the value of his calling, or of
his ability to carry it out. He may be
anxious in the face of others who are angry or adversarial and find himself at
a loss for an appropriate response.
One can see that is it very helpful to have a supportive
body of Friends to accompany one on such a spiritual journey and to keep things
in perspective. Fortunately, a spiritual
journey does not happen in a vacuum.
The Spiritual Care Committee helps the Friend continue to
do the inward work out of which the outward faithfulness issues.
The Spiritual Care Committee is an essential resource to
provide grounded community support for the spiritual traveler. Support involves intentionally holding the Friend in prayer, listening deeply,
responding tenderly, and expressing loving encouragement. In doing its work, the Committee brings to
the forefront acceptance, patience, and faith and trust in God’s involvement in
the process.
Guidance. By listening deeply and prayerfully from a
centered place, two basic tools that are highly valued by Friends and important
in guidance are most directly available: discernment and experience.
The Spiritual Care Committee depends heavily on both in
its work.
Guidance is likely to be most useful, effective and
powerful when offered in a gentle, non-judgmental, loving manner. It may take time to learn the most effective
way to present guidance to a particular Friend
in a form that can be heard, accepted, and used. Often guidance is specifically requested by the Friend and if, after discernment, the Committee feels clear to respond, the
guidance should be offered. Sometimes
the leading to offer guidance comes from the Committee itself; it, too, should
be respected and offered.
It must be remembered that the Committee is responsible
for offering
Spirit-led guidance or wisdom drawn from experience. The
Friend is responsible for considering, accepting, working with, or
rejecting the guidance.
Accountability. The
term “accountability” refers to an understanding that the Friend is accountable, first and foremost, to God. The
Friend is also accountable to his/her ministry or leading, to his/her faith
community and to those whom he/she provides service. The core of accountability has to do with
whether the Friend is making right use
of his/her gifts in the service of God and God’s beloved. Such deep examination is ongoing as long as the Friend continues to walk the path to
which he/she is being called.
The Spiritual Care Committee, in part, serves to lovingly
help the Friend explore
accountability in God’s presence. The Spiritual Care Committee is charged with
consistently keeping an awareness of accountability on the table. Thus, the Committee may be led to query and
discuss problems the Friend encounters
regarding accountability. As an example,
does he take on too many opportunities to serve others at the cost of being
unable to care for himself or his family?
Is she shying away from applying her gifts where the faith community has
needs for those gifts? Can the Committee
assist the Friend in being faithful in exercising his gifts in
God’s service?
Service to the faith community. At the same time that the Spiritual Care
Committee serves the Friend, it also
serves the community. Committee members
know and understand the community’s needs, strengths, weaknesses, and
challenges of today. The Committee is in
a position to serve as intermediary between the
Friend and the Meeting/Church. It
can educate the Meeting to know about and understand the focus Friend and his/her mission. The
Committee can help embed the focus Friend’s
experience within the Meeting and may be able to help match the needs of
community with the gifts of the Friend,
enabling the leading/ministry to go forward.
It can help the Meeting struggle with the question of support of all
kinds, including financial assistance. In many instances public backing is
needed in order for the gifts to be exercised, thus requiring the Meeting to
explore the need to officially record the ministry of the focus Friend.
The Spiritual Care Committee also encourages the Meeting to hold this
gift of ministry in communal prayer.
In serving in these various capacities, the Spiritual
Care Committee deepens the spiritual lives of the Friend, the faith community, and the members of the Committee
itself.
Summary
When the corporate body of the Meeting/church recognizes
that a Friend is blessed with
spiritual gifts, those gifts are taken under the care of the faith
community. Ministry and Counsel appoints
a Spiritual Care Committee to nurture the
Friend who is being called into service to God. The Spiritual Care Committee provides the Friend with support, guidance, and a
forum for accountability. The
Committee also serves the faith community by helping the
Meeting/church understand, hold, develop and use the gifts God has brought into
the community’s midst.
Formation, Structure and Responsibilities
Over time the School of the Spirit Ministry has observed
various aspects of the Spiritual Care Committee – ones that are helpful and
lead to growth for the focus Friend and
ones that are detrimental. In that light
we turn to examine useful characteristics of committee members and the
committee formation process, structure and responsibilities. Most importantly, we will consider the three
primary
“tools” entrusted to both committee members and the Friend for the Spirit-guided work of
spiritual growth and faithfulness.
Characteristics of Committee members. Those who
are engaged in selecting committee members and those
considering serving as a committee member will profit from considering the
characteristics of Spiritual Care Committee members that have proven helpful to
focus Friends and other committee members.
Spiritual Care Committee members need:
1.
to be grounded in God and open to further
learning and spiritual development, both for the Friend and for themselves.
2.
to have belief and faith in the divine-human
relationship. Members need to have
sufficient shared faith understandings to be able to work together and to
communicate successfully with the Friend
and with other committee members.
3.
to be attuned to and accepting of the Friend seeking a deeper awareness of
his/her Inward Teacher.
4.
to have the ability to wait in silence and
patience.
5.
to be able to accept the Friend where he/she is in the present moment, to maintain
appropriate confidentiality, recognizing that the Friend’s views and concerns may be in considerable flux during
the journey.
6.
to be able to accompany the Friend on his/her path in a caring, loving, non-judgmental
manner. Gentle critique and challenge, often expressed in the form of
questions, may also be helpful. Members
need to be comfortable enough in their own faith that they can support one who
may be experiencing spiritual struggles.
7.
to be willing to hold the Friend and the Spiritual Care Committee members and process in
prayer, or in the Light.
8.
to be willing and able to devote the time
necessary to prepare themselves to carry out the Committee’s tasks and to
attend monthly committee meetings with the
Friend.
9.
to be able to explore and translate the
spiritual language of the Friend into
that which is familiar and understood by the committee member so that
communication flows freely. Similarly,
each member is invited to speak his/her heart in a way that is comfortable to
the speaker.
10. to
be open to the creative, empowering forces of Truth and Love which are possible
in corporate worship and collective discernment. A functioning Spiritual Care Committee often
experiences outcomes (new insights, new confidence and peace) for most if not
all of its members as well as for the committee’s focus Friend. And, if attended to,
this spiritual growth may also impact the larger faith community.
In addition, experience has taught the School of the
Spirit Ministry teachers and elders (spiritual companions) that there are
certain committee or member characteristics that are likely to impair committee
functioning and lead to distress for all involved. Four issues that may prove especially
challenging are:
1.
Limited time. Committee members lead busy lives and
may have trouble finding time to meet together for the requisite meetings
(usually monthly). We recognize, of
course, that serious life events can alter anyone’s plans, sometimes
drastically. However, leaving such
unanticipated occurrences aside, we trust that each potential committee member
will take his/her participation under discernment to seek clearness before he/she makes a commitment to
provide steady accompaniment for the
Friend.
2.
Acceptance.
Members who have difficulty responding to the
Friend where he/she is, rather than where the member thinks the Friend
“should be,” lead the committee into trouble.
In general, it will be helpful for members to remember that the Friend may be exactly where God is
leading him/her. If the member can
accept that premise, then it is easier to turn to deep listening and
discernment, rather than worrying about desired “progress” within the committee
member’s time-line. Trust, love and
acceptance are key factors needed on this journey.
3.
Not knowing what to
do. Committee
members may have difficulty knowing how to be helpfully and lovingly
challenging and discerning, as these behaviors may not be expressed often in
our home faith communities. Remembering
that a safe and loving environment is fertile ground for growth may help
members formulate a gentle challenge to ideas or perceptions. A past focus
Friend commented that the most challenging thing said to her during
the two-year experience with her committee was when a
rather quiet member suddenly asked, “Do you feel this is how you are being
led?” That gentle, yet powerful,
question took her away from the “rational” views she had been expressing and
brought her back to the core issue.
It is hard for the
Friend and committee members not to have a road map for the journey, not to
know where the hazardous curves are or what lies ahead. It must be sufficient to simply accept the
course, tread gently, give encouragement and understanding, and patiently
“walk with” the
Friend and with God.
4.
Departing the loving
way. Lastly, members who have problems accepting
or allowing new or different spiritual language and concepts, who have
personality conflicts with the Friend
or with other members of the committee, who are not comfortable maintaining
confidentiality, or who engage in attacking, belittling, or humiliating the Friend or other committee members
are definitely harmful to the process.
We know that without love, we do not thrive and grow in the physical
world. The same may be said of the spiritual
world; the love of God and our faith community help us thrive and grow.
Selection of Committee Members. The need to be
centered and aware of God’s active participation in all
aspects of the Spiritual Care Committee’s work cannot be over-stressed. In considering whom to ask to serve on a
Spiritual Care Committee, it is expected that Ministry and Counsel and the
focus Friend will work together in
prayerful discernment. Both the Friend and Ministry and Counsel
intentionally invite God into the selection process and are seeking to attend
to nudges and guidance that indicate
God’s intention in the matter at hand.
In large faith communities the Friend may profit from recommendations from Ministry and
Counsel because not all community members are familiar to him/her. Also, in the absence of community members
experienced in spiritual care, Ministry and Counsel may be able to suggest
appropriate people who have the characteristics recommended above and who are,
therefore, perfectly able to serve faithfully regardless of prior
experience.
Following discernment, the Friend is usually responsible for approaching potential
Spiritual Care Committee members. This
is often a very difficult task for the
Friend, who may be shy or embarrassed to ask for such time and attention
for him/herself. Also, many times the Friend is far more comfortable
giving support than asking for it. In
some instances it may be useful if Ministry and Counsel contacts potential
members with or for the Friend.
It is possible that the
Friend has never before had a Spiritual Care Committee or any other
committee of support. It is also
possible that the local faith community may not include many, or any, people
with much experience of spiritual
nurture. In such a case, it is
reasonable to expect that all involved may initially feel uneasy, vulnerable
and lacking in confidence.
When a committee builds a God-centered, honest and open,
safe, loving space of trust, confidence develops. Differences between members exist without
divisions. Spiritual experiences deepen. It takes time to develop and sustain such a
blessed environment. If all present
maintain patience, good-will and God-centeredness, God will prevail and growth
will occur for all.
It is recommended that the Spiritual Care Committee
remain under the care and in relationship with the local faith community’s
Ministry and Counsel for the duration of the Spiritual Care Committee
work. Continuing such a connection
provides a way to carry out Friends’ communal
practice of care and support for the leadings and ministries of Friends.
Committee Clerk. It is important that the Friend is not the
person responsible for the leadership or the guidance of process for the
Committee. Rather, one of the Spiritual Care Committee members serves as clerk
of the Committee.
The clerk’s responsibilities involve tasks with which
most Friends are quite familiar from experiences within their faith
community. The clerk works with the Friend and Committee members to find
a suitable place and time for committee meetings. He/she reminds members when a meeting is
scheduled. The clerk confers with the Friend regarding the general agenda
and guides the Committee through the agenda, being flexible to the movement of
God as the Friend and Committee work
together. Very importantly, the clerk
gently keeps the meetings centered in worship, calling members into silence
when the need arises.
The clerk oversees the preparation of any reports that
need to be generated. It may prove
useful to the local faith community’s Ministry and Counsel to receive periodic
reports on the work of the Spiritual Care Committee. The reports to the faith
community need to be written in general statements, rather than specific
comments, in order to maintain appropriate confidentiality. It is best if reports to the faith community
are discussed and shared with the Friend before
being released. Such discussions provide
an opportunity for useful review and reflection for both the Committee and the Friend.
Setting
the Agenda.
Though each focus Friend’s
path is unique, the general format of a Spiritual Care Committee agenda
includes the following items. The order
may vary according to the needs expressed, or perceived, always allowing for
the immediate movement of God within the Committee.
1.
The committee and the Friend come together initially for a time of worship and centering.
2.
A brief “check in” with Committee members
provides an opportunity for attuning to each
other.
3.
The
Friend may wish to share and
talk about some of the following: experiences since the last Committee
meeting; topics opened up for him/her during prayer or reflection; inward
themes that have arisen in his/her life; passages from readings that have been
particularly meaningful; ways to integrate his/her work with family and faith
community life; concerns about the naming, claiming, development, and/or practice
of his/her service to God; occasions of ministry.
4.
Committee members, who are listening,
encouraging, and discerning, may wish to: reflect
upon the Friend’s walk with God and
the faith community; help the Friend reflect
upon queries that assist the Friend in
guiding his/her spiritual life and growth; help clarify
questions and concerns that the Friend may
need to consider; discuss how the faith
community can more fully accept, support, or utilize the Friend’s exercise of ministry.
5.
It is recommended that the clerk, the Friend and/or committee members summarize some of the main points or concerns
that were lifted up during the meeting.
A summary helps clarify for the
Friend and the Committee members that
all were heard; it also allows fine tuning for better
understanding.
6.
The meeting closes with worship.
The Three Tools. In a previous section, desirable
characteristics of Spiritual Care Committee members were outlined. Essential attitudes, such as being grounded,
open, and accepting were recommended. In
addition, there are three primary and foundational “tools” that Committee
members use in seeking to accompany the
Friend on his/her spiritual path.
Fortunately, all three tools are familiar to Friends and often and
regularly experienced in Friends’ personal and corporate spiritual lives. The tools are: listening
deeply; prayerful discernment; and faithful responding.
1. Listening
deeply. Douglas Steere
speaks eloquently of the gift and privilege of being invited to listen deeply
to another.
To “listen” another’s
soul into a condition of disclosure and discovery may be almost the greatest
service that any human being ever performs for another. … For in penetrating to
what is involved in listening do we not disclose the thinness of the filament
that separates listening openly to one another, and that of God intently
listening to each soul?6
Spiritual Care Committee members are asked again and
again to
“listen deeply” to the focus Friend. To do so is to reach
a depth beneath the superficial or typical conversational level. It requires
Committee members to maintain a worship or worship
sharing mode from which God may touch our hearts, open our listening, and,
perhaps, enable us to “see” how God loves this
Friend, this leading, this ministry,
this endeavor to be faithful. In 1st
Samuel we are advised that
… the Lord does not
see as mortals see: they [mortals] look on the outward appearance, but the Lord
looks on the heart.7
6 Douglas
Steere, Where Words Come From: An Interpretation of the Ground and Practice of
Quaker Worship and Ministry (London: QHS, Swarthmore Lecture, 1955), 14.
7 1st
Samuel, 16:7, NRSV.
Of course, we will not see clearly as God does, but we
can seek to look and listen as deeply as we are able in God’s grace and
presence.
The School of the Spirit Ministry has developed some
queries that may be useful to Committee members in deepening the listening in
spiritual care. While the listener
remains anchored in awareness of God’s love, he/she may wish to reflect on such
queries as:
1.
Through what practices does the Friend listen to or be attentive to
Christ, the Light, the Seed, divine, God?
2.
What are the
Friend’s experiences or assumptions about his/her life in the Spirit?
3.
Is the
Friend trusting in God? Or is that
trust solely in his/her own effort, “know how,” and competence? How can trust be fostered by the Spiritual
Care Committee and allowed to grow?
4.
Is the
Friend surrendered to God, or still struggling with his/her own ego or expectations
of others?
5.
Is there something that is blocking the life
of the Spirit in the Friend at this
point in time?
6.
Is the
Friend aware of being divinely and completely loved by God?
7.
In what way is the Friend growing now and how is that growth being manifested?
8.
What is the
Friend’s relationship with the meeting/church? What expectations does the Friend have of the faith community
and are they realistic? Is the minister’s relationship to the meeting/church characterized
by patience, humility, perseverance, and mutual trust?
9.
Besides the Spiritual Care Committee, what
other sources of guidance and support are available for the Friend to draw upon when needed?
Of course, whether reflected upon by the Friend, by the Committee, or by both the intent is to use
whatever is gleaned in Truth for loving support and tender assistance, not for
the purpose of rendering judgment.
2.
Prayerful
discernment. Put simply, discernment
refers to seeking to understand the will of God, the direction of God, the
guidance of God. Deep listening is the
substrate for prayerful discernment and cannot be separated from it. Divine guidance is often sought by Friends,
perhaps universally when individuals and the faith community are seeking
clarity about spiritual gifts, leadings and calls to ministry.
Patricia Loring writes of the powerful significance of
discernment when she refers to it as a dynamism involved in cooperation
(cocreation) with God.
Co-creation
implies a still unfolding creation in which the Creator continues to work with
and through us when we respond in faithfulness to the promptings of Love and
Truth in our hearts … [Discernment] is also invited, cultivated and lived into
by the disciplined practice of living close to God over time in prayer.[6]
Serving on a Spiritual Care Committee provides a
wonderful and unique opportunity to witness an “unfolding creation” as the Friend follows and deepens his/her
spiritual path. Through discernment,
Committee members are “well used” in co-creation.
3.
Faithful
responding. Discerned
responses given to the focus Friend
are faithful when Committee members
interact in a tender, honest, caring manner that is reflective of God’s love
for this beloved Friend.
Sometimes Spiritual Care Committee members are concerned
about raising or exploring issues which they believe will be a “challenge” to the Friend. If the “challenging” issue comes forward from
deep listening and prayerful discernment, then the issue may well be a part of
the “unfolding creation” work of the moment.
The Committee member then searches for a safe, loving, gentle way to
approach the “challenge.” Will it be
best to raise a question about the issue, share a relevant observation, or
recall and revisit some related shared experience that has come up before? Once again, if the Committee stays centered
and open to the Spirit, faithful responding is likely to occur and needed work
will be done.
Another aspect of faithful responding is to refuse to
abandon the Friend when he/she
experiences fear, spiritual desolation, or deep doubts. Committee members may feel uncomfortable when
valued opinions of their own are challenged by the Friend. The Committee
stays stable throughout the rough times, still reflecting the unchanging love
and care of God.
Summary
The Spiritual Care Committee is formed with members who
are known to have demonstrated attitudes, beliefs and behaviors that taken
together reflect the enduring love of God.
At the surface level the structure of the Spiritual Care Committee is
simple and generally familiar to Friends who serve their faith community. The task of nurturing growth in a person
gifted and called into God’s service is, however, not surface level work. Rather, members of the Committee are asked to
stay centered in the Spirit, drawing upon the practices of deep listening,
prayerful discernment and faithful responding while accompanying the focus Friend on his/her spiritual
journey.
III.
Evaluating the Spiritual Care Committee
Both Committee members and the focus Friend work together periodically to evaluate their effectiveness
and needs. As with many undertakings of
Friends, the School of the Spirit Ministry finds that considering a set of
queries facilitates evaluation. We hope
the resultant insights (advices), passed on below, will be useful to future
Spiritual Care Committees. The queries
and advices are organized for Committee members and the Friend separately, however both sets are intended for the
benefit of all.
Queries and Advices for Committee Members
1.
Do
you mirror to the Friend the ways you
see God acting, speaking, shining, loving, and serving through him/her? The
Friend attempting to be faithful often needs his/her care
committee to reflect back to him/her the small acts and subtle moments, as well
as the larger deeds, that reveal God working through the Friend’s efforts to serve faithfully.
2.
Do
you accompany the Friend in personal
places of spiritual desolation and fear?
Members of the Committee cannot walk the path for the Friend; they can walk the path
with the Friend. Courage and consolation will be found for
the Friend when Committee members
practice: listening deeply; being
present; refraining from trying to “fix”; holding the Friend in prayer; trusting that God is caring for the
Friend;
and reminding him/her of God’s loving support.
3.
Are
you able to trust and remember that God sends Friends to serve the wounded and broken people and places? Can you be open to supporting leadings in
ministry that may take participants into uncomfortable or risky territory? Pray for the discernment and wisdom of the
committee as well as for the Friend
led to serve.
4.
In
exploring the meeting’s role in supporting the
Friend, how can you help the Friend
to engage prayerfully with others without resentment and disruption of his or
her relationship to the meeting/church community?
Help the Friend to have realistic
expectations of the meeting community/church. Consider what is necessary for the Friend, and Spiritual Care Committee
members, to have a healthy relationship with the meeting/church.
5.
Can
you lovingly challenge the Friend to
live more deeply into his/her ministry and gifts so that he/she may grow in the
measure of faithfulness given to God? Help the
Friend attend to the nudges or stirrings of the Spirit at the edges of
his/her awareness, which may well be beyond the
Friend’s comfort zone. Support the Friend as he/she is Spirit-led to
become more vulnerable, authentic, humble, and bold.
6.
Are
you participating in evaluating the process and function of the committee with
some regularity? Periodic
self-evaluation by the Spiritual Care Committee helps the Committee become more
aware of what is needed at any
given time. As the
Friend progresses in responsiveness to God’s call, the Committee will
notice that different needs arise and call for attention. Some Friends
need to be drawn out and affirmed. Some
need help in finding the right language in which to communicate what is given
them to share. Some need to be lovingly
challenged to grow into that which God is asking of them. Periodic self-evaluation also aids the
Spiritual Care Committee in understanding its
role in God’s ministry and thus improves the Committee’s capacity to anchor
and nurture spiritual gifts and faithful ministry.
Queries and Advices for the Friend
Behaviors and attitudes on the part of the Friend serve to facilitate both the work
of the Spiritual Care Committee and the relationships involved.
1.
Do
you help the committee prepare for meetings?
Though not always done, a brief written outline or report
sent to Committee members prior to a scheduled meeting may prove very
helpful. If the report reflects the Friend’s current experiences, joys
and concerns the Committee members have a chance to reflect upon and
prayerfully discern how they might best respond faithfully.
Assisting and advising the Committee clerk in preparing
the agenda helps the Committee and the
Friend focus on what is uppermost in the
Friend’s mind and heart.
However, one does not want to overburden or “swamp”
Committee members. If, at first, the
Friend is unsure what information Committee members actually would like to
have, ask.
2.
Are
you as forthcoming as possible in what is shared? Friends
sometimes
mention that they are reluctant to bring forth concerns, fears or thoughts to
the Committee for two main reasons. One
reason is the Friend is unsure that
Committee members will understand what is being
shared. The other, that members of the
Committee will not approve of what is being shared.
It is understandable that the Friend feels vulnerable and unprotected if either of these
situations occur. Yet, it will likely
lead to growth on all parts if the Friend
can lift up exactly these concerns – fear of not being understood or of not
being approved. The Committee’s response
to and discussion about those fears will generally indicate the path
forward.
3.
Are
you keeping in mind the mutuality of the Spiritual Care Committee experience? At least initially, both the Friend and Committee members are finding their way. Members of the Committee also feel uncertain
and, perhaps, vulnerable themselves.
They, too, want to do a “good” job, to be faithful to their task, to be
understood and approved. Over time,
members of the Committee may also feel challenged in their own spiritual
relationships.
Just as it is helpful to the Friend to be accepted and encouraged, it will be helpful to the
Committee members when the Friend is
able to identify and share questions or comments that proved particularly
helpful to him/her. Respect and
consideration for each other are important factors in this mutual experience.
4.
Are
you keeping expectations reasonable? Sometimes unreasonable expectations of what
the Spiritual Care Committee can offer lead to considerable
disappointment. Satisfaction in the
experience is more likely if the Friend
can appreciate and value the opportunities the Committee is able to offer, rather than focus on what the Committee is unable
to offer. Remember: God gives us what we
need – not necessarily all that we would like to have, but what is
sufficient. Also, the Friend has, or needs to develop, other means of support and
challenge to draw upon within his/her Meeting or broader faith community.
Consider an example:
The Friend wants to “grow,
stretch and be challenged.” So, the Friend brings up some topic to the
Spiritual Care Committee and then says, “Ask me the ‘hard’ questions.” Very likely, the members of the Committee will
return a blank stare or ask,
“What are the
‘hard’ questions?” Rightly so. The request to the committee is
unreasonable. If the Friend knows what he/she considers the ‘hard’ questions to be,
then the Friend needs to lift up the
questions and consider them in the care of the Committee. If the
Friend does not know the ‘hard’
questions to ask, it seems a good time to turn to the Inward Teacher for
further discernment. One needs to be
mindful not to accidentally set up a potential “failure” experience for all
involved.
AFTERWORD
It has been acknowledged above that most Quakers consider
themselves to be on their own spiritual path and therefore can recognize what a
solitary pursuit that experience can be.
In addressing this issue, Laurence Freeman, a Benedictine monk, offers
the following:
The
fellowship of others who are making the same solitary journey as ourselves is a
form of the Spirit’s grace accompanying us on the pilgrimage. In solitude we need to be strengthened by the
warmth and affirmation of a spiritual family…Precisely because two people are
never at the same point in the journey, friendship, mutual inspiration and
encouragement are among the principal means by which the Spirit guides
each one of us.[7]
In mentioning the mutuality of “friendship…inspiration
and encouragement,” Freeman declares that both (or all) parties are gifted and
guided by the Spirit. Even in the
smallest meeting/church the skills, attitudes, and values needed to accompany
one another are regularly practiced among Friends.
The most basic and powerful tools available to Friends in
supportive ministry lie in their trust in and openness to wisdom and guidance
from Christ, the Inward Teacher.
Realistic expectations about the outcome of the Spiritual Care
Committee’s work require that Friends
rely on God for the outcome, as well as the process. As Friends we recognize that ultimately the
power to touch hearts, to give courage, to bring light over darkness, and to
effect transformation resides with God.
Most Friends
report having positive, helpful, supportive and valuable experiences in their
Spiritual Care Committees. They have
benefited from an experience of eldering, or spiritual companioning, in its
most positive sense. Often the committee
members reflected the best example of nurturing the participant had witnessed
in his/her local faith community.
In the School of the Spirit Ministry, Spiritual Care
Committee members have reported experiencing a deeper sense of spirituality,
encouragement, a personal call to more spiritual formation or development for
themselves, and a renewed sense of place in the larger faith community. An increased sensitivity to leadings in one’s
own life and an increased awareness of insight, comfort and guidance have also
been reported.
Those who are caring for the entire process, Ministry and
Counsel and the entire Meeting, know they are fulfilling an important community
function in fostering ministry and leadings.
The faith community may also profit directly as the ministry develops in
their midst.
The School of the Spirit Ministry wholeheartedly affirms
that God is present to all who participate in furthering the loving ministry
and service of God. We know the benefits
and satisfactions of serving on a Spiritual Care Committee far outweigh the
cost in effort and time. We pray that
all who undertake spiritual care will be aware of the love and blessings that
surround us in this work.
GLOSSARY
Accountability
(Spiritual Accountability) means being answerable to God for the
ministry, being responsible for one’s right use of gifts and ministry, being
answerable to one’s faith community (meeting or church) for the ministry and
answerable to those served by it. In a
relationship of spiritual accountability, the faith community is also
responsible and answerable for care of the minister and for the right use of
the gifts and ministry carried by that Friend.
Calling
is
sometimes used interchangeably with
leading (as being called by God
to a specific ministry or course of action) – see below; but can also mean
one’s spiritual vocation in general.
Centered
(Centering) is to
be “grounded” or to “ground” oneself – as one might set a house on a firm
foundation – in prayer, worship, and relationship with the Divine. To be centered is to be settled and
“grounded in the Spirit.”
Clearness
Committees meet with those who are seeking clarity
around personal decisions. The Friend
asks the meeting to appoint a clearness committee through the meeting’s
Ministry and Counsel Committee, or, in an informal clearness process, asks a
few trusted friends to gather with her/him.
In a formal clearness process, the clearness committee’s job is to help
the Friend discover whether there is clarity to move forward with a matter,
wait, or take other action. This happens through:
Ø
worship together
Ø
deep listening to the questions and concerns
brought to the committee
Ø
careful, gentle,
open-ended questions from clearness committee members
Ø
reflecting back what has been heard.
(See also Jan Hoffman’s “Clearness Committees and Their
Use in
Personal Discernment,”
Quaker Books of FGC, 1996.)
Consolation/Desolation.
Spiritual consolation
occurs when one feels God to be very close and present to oneself. These are generally powerful but fleeting
experiences, and can even come at times of great loss, suffering or
sadness. This sense of spiritual
consolation may also be experienced when Friends receive solace from others,
including the Spiritual Care Committee. Spiritual desolation is a time in our
lives when God seems far away – it may be a time of spiritual loneliness, fear,
confusion, or doubt; the feeling that one may be praying into a void, as if God
does not hear or is hidden from oneself.
It is important to remember times of consolation
when one is in periods of desolation
to help remember that God is indeed near, even when one cannot feel God’s
presence. Remembering times of consolation
during periods of desolation can also
serve as a compass when one is lost in the “spiritual fog” of desolation.
Faith. More than just belief in God, faith is the
act of “giving over” ourselves to God.
Faithfulness is
attentiveness to the guidance of the Spirit and the earnest endeavor to submit
to that guidance (from Central Philadelphia Monthly Meeting’s “Nurturing
Faithfulness to the Leadings of the Spirit,” April 10, 2005).
Gifts
(Spiritual Gifts). As
mentioned in 1st Corinthians 12 and Romans 12, spiritual gifts are
God-given, arise in response to the community’s or the world’s needs and are to
be used on behalf of others rather than for personal gain. Spiritual gifts do not belong to the
individual. One might think of spiritual
gifts as being “on loan” from God to be used for others. They also may not relate to an individual’s
personal skills or abilities, for example, Moses’ gift of leadership, Exodus 4;
Jeremiah’s gift of prophecy, Jeremiah 1.
Leading is
the sense of being nudged, impelled, invited, or drawn by God or the Holy
Spirit toward a particular action or ministry.
Sometimes used interchangeably with calling. A leading may also come in the form of a
nudges or stirrings of the Spirit.
The
Meeting (Monthly Meeting,
Quaker/Friends Meeting) is the local Quaker congregation of Friends,
generally used in relationship to “unprogrammed” Friends’ meetings. (Unprogrammed meetings are held in silent
worship. Generally there are not paid
clergy in unprogrammed meetings. Friends
wait for the inspiration of the Holy Spirit to rise with a spoken message. Anyone might feel called to speak, although
the expectation of ‘waiting worship’ is that one will not do so without clear,
inward promptings from the Spirit.)
Ministry
is a “God-given way of serving” – the
many ways in which individuals help to make God’s love and transforming power
manifest in the world. As with spiritual
gifts (see above), ministry arises in response to the community’s or the
world’s needs, is to be used on behalf of others rather than for personal gain,
and may not relate to one’s personal skills or abilities.
Ministry
and Counsel is a
name used in some Quaker meetings for the committee responsible for care of the Meeting for Worship and for the
spiritual nurture of members and attenders.
In other faith communities, the equivalent might be, for example,
Worship and Ministry, Ministry and Oversight, Care and Counsel.
Names
for God, the Divine. As with early Friends who used many names interchangeably to name and
describe their experience of God, this set of guidelines uses a variety of
names or words for God – such as God, the Divine, the Spirit, Christ, Inward
Teacher, Truth.
Pastoral
Care is care which is directed towards the personal or
interpersonal spiritual, physical or emotional needs of an individual or faith
community (e.g., counsel; care for families, the needy, the elderly; conflict
mediation) as opposed to care which is specifically directed towards the gifts
and ministry carried by an individual on behalf of the community.
Spirit-led
Guidance/Discernment is the guidance or decisionmaking which
arises out of prayer and turning inward to God, rather than purely from logic,
reason, or emotion.
Surrender is
the action of giving over or releasing to God our own fears, opinions and
preferences, judgments, desires, and ego-driven impulses. Surrender arises from
Faith.
CORE CHARACTERISTICS
A
Ministry of Prayer and Learning devoted to the School of the Spirit is
dedicated to helping all who wish to be more faithful listeners and responders
to the inward work of Christ. The Ministry in its conduct and programming has
these Core Characteristics:
Ø
Is rooted, grounded, and lived out in prayer
and expectant waiting upon Divine guidance.
Ø
Understands our spirituality and spiritual
journeys in the context of the ongoing Judeo-Christian story.
Ø
Combines a clear Christian grounding with the
ability to listen and recognize spiritual openings and committed journeys in
whatever form they appear. This rare combination helps to lead one into deeper
spiritual understanding and brings forth a greater tenderness with each other.
Ø
Fosters a deeper appreciation of the rhythms
of the contemplative life as lived out within a faith community.
Ø
Strengthens understanding and appreciation of
the roots of Quakerism, its theology, practices, and traditions.
Ø
Enhances the understanding of the life of a
faith community grounded in God and the service of members within it, thereby
building up the Religious Society of Friends.
Approved by the
School of the Spirit Ministry Board
12th
month, 2008
The words in this pamphlet have come from years of listening to
and observing the interactions of participants in the School of the Spirit
Ministry’s On Being a Spiritual Nurturer
program and their Spiritual Care Committees.
The Spiritual Care Committee consists of those Friends and others that
walk with the participant and witness their journey toward transformation. We have learned valuable lessons and skills
that we believe others might find useful and we offer them herein.
Enter with an open heart. The journey of transformation is subverted if
the heart is not open to hear another’s song.
We invite the user of this document into the freedom of the open space
of Truth where all languages spoken from the Heart are heard by the One Creator
of us all. Therein, we abide in unity
and love and understanding, and beyond words.
We desire this pamphlet to be used so that it deepens the life
of the Spirit within the Religious Society of Friends. This pamphlet is
available online at www.schoolofthespirit.org and can be downloaded for free for educational purposes.
Hardcopies can be ordered from:
The School of the Spirit Ministry c/o 360 Blossom H ill Dr.
Lancaster, PA 17601
To order, call (717) 203-1642 or email info@schoolofthespirit.org.
A
Ministry of Prayer and Learning devoted to the School of the Spirit serves
Friends throughout North America
and is an independent non-profit organization.
[1] The School of the Spirit
Ministry clarifies its mission to “helping all who wish to be more faithful
listeners and responders to the inward work of Christ” through a set of Core
Characteristics. These are presented at the end of this document.
[2]
Douglas Steere, Where Words Come From (London:
Quaker Home Service, 1955), 14.
[3] For simplicity, the term Ministry and Counsel will be used
throughout this document. The reader is
asked to substitute the name of the equivalent committee that convenes within
his/her meeting/church.
[4] Arlene Kelly, “Ministry of
Pastoral Care: The Healing Spirit Working Among Us,” Pastoral Care Newsletter (Philadelphia Yearly Meeting) 14:2
(January 2007).
[5]
Lloyd Lee Wilson, Essays on the Quaker
Vision of Gospel Order (Quaker Press of FGC, 2002), 113-114.
[6] Patricia Loring, Listening
Spirituality. Volume II: Corporate Spiritual Practice Among Friends (Washington
Grove, Maryland: Opening Press, 1999), 69.
[7] Laurence Freeman, Jesus the Teacher Within (New York,
Continuum, 2000), 225-226.
