Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames : Hanh, Thich Nhat: Amazon.com.au: Books
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Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames Paperback – Deckle Edge, 3 September 2002
by Thich Nhat Hanh (Author)
4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 2,545 ratings
"[Thich Nhat Hanh] shows us the connection between personal, inner peace and peace on earth." -His Holiness The Dalai Lama
Nominated by Martin Luther King, Jr. for a Nobel Peace Prize, Thich Nhat Hanh is one of today's leading sources of wisdom, peace, compassion and comfort.
It was under the bodhi tree in India twenty-five centuries ago that Buddha achieved the insight that three states of mind were the source of all our unhappiness: wrong knowing, obsessive desire, and anger. All are difficult, but in one instant of anger--one of the most powerful emotions--lives can be ruined, and health and spiritual development can be destroyed.
With exquisite simplicity, Buddhist monk and Vietnam refugee Thich Nhat Hanh gives tools and advice for transforming relationships, focusing energy, and rejuvenating those parts of ourselves that have been laid waste by anger. His extraordinary wisdom can transform your life and the lives of the people you love, and in the words of Thich Nhat Hanh, can give each reader the power "to change everything."
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Review
"Thich Nhat Hanh is a holy man, for he is humble and devout. He is a scholar of immense intellectual capacity. His ideas for peace if applied, would build a monument of ecumenism, to world brotherhood, to humanity." --Martin Luther King, Jr.
"He shows us the connection between personal, inner peace, and peace on earth." --His Holiness The Dalai Lama
"Hanh doesn't limit his task to discussing anger between families and friends; he also deals with anger between citizens and governments. That expansive vision is not surprising (Hanh, after all, is a Nobel Peace Prize nominee) but it is refreshing, lifting this book out of the self-absorbed, self-help pile." --Publishers Weekly
"Reminding us that small spiritual matters are really large spiritual matters, the author offers wisdom and serenity to comfort readers as they work through anger to a place of 'being peace.'" --Library Journal
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About the Author
Thich Nhat Hanh isa Vietnamese monk, a rare combination of mystic, scholar, and activist and one of the most beloved Buddhist teachers in the West. Poet, Zen master, and chairman of the Vietnamese Buddhist Peace Delegation during the Vietnam War, he was nominated by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., for the Nobel Peace Prize.
Product details
Publisher : Riverhead Books (3 September 2002)
Language : English
Paperback : 240 pages
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5.0 out of 5 stars this book actually works for me. It brings me ...Reviewed in Australia on 8 November 2015
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this book actually works for me. It brings me a lot of self awareness and brings me peace of mind. Even my partner has noticed a change!
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5.0 out of 5 stars A must readReviewed in India on 7 May 2024
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It's a must read for everyone looking for self control
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Teea
5.0 out of 5 stars ExcellentReviewed in Germany on 16 April 2024
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Excellent quality and fast delivery
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Deepika
1.0 out of 5 stars Looks a fake copy of the actual book.Reviewed in Sweden on 1 August 2022
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Just received this book....but it looks like a cheap copy. The pages have not even been cut evenly !! Never thought Amazon would induöge in selling such bad quality.
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Abeer Y. Hoque
5.0 out of 5 stars simple, profound, transformative (if you can let it in)
Reviewed in the United States on 27 December 2019
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Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames by Thich Nhat Hanh
It’s hard to summarize the lessons I learned from the book of Anger by Buddhist monk Thich Naht Hanh, because there were so many. Much of it was like finding the words for things I already knew, subconsciously or not. Like the profound relief we gain when we feel heard. Or how we want to punish others when we suffer. (Why does this even make sense and yet is so horribly true?)
One of the oft-repeated mantras in the book is about compassionate listening and loving-kindness speech. It seems obvious that listening with compassion is a good thing. But the fact that it can help the other person suffer less is not as apparent. If we can allow the other person to express herself and find relief from her suffering, then we have accomplished the one and only goal of compassionate listening.
Of course, keeping compassion alive the entire time we listen is not easy, especially when we are implicated in the other’s suffering. The desire to defend oneself, or to criticize the mode of expression is both deep and diabolical. Both those can instantly undermine any positive effects of compassionate listening.
TNH suggests a practical if formal template for how to approach anger, both in ourselves and in others. The first step is admitting our anger. We can’t pretend that we don’t suffer: “In true love, there is no pride.” Second, we can’t claim we are doing our best unless we practice. And last, we have to let the other person in.
“Darling, I suffer. I am angry. I want you to know it.”
“Darling, I am doing my best. I am taking good care of my anger. For me and for you also. I don’t want to explode, to destroy myself and destroy you.”
“Darling, I need your help. I cannot do this without you.”
Of course, the success of this exchange depends on mindfulness, on mindful breathing, walking, sitting, speaking, listening. On digging deep to find the roots of our anger. On never saying or doing anything out of anger, but waiting until we are ready to listen compassionately and speak with loving-kindness. As TNH so wisely puts it, “If your house is on fire, the most urgent thing to do is to go back and try to put out the fire, not to run after the person you believe to be the arsonist.”
I appreciated the reminder to wait until we were cooler headed, but even more so, I loved the entreaty to come back after 24 hours, or even by next Friday. In the meantime, we are to write a peace note to the other person. As someone who greatly suffers from the so-called silent treatment (and the subsequent ignoring of said conflict), I was relieved to know that there was another way to approach things. A dear friend calls it throwing the other person a lifeline. You tell them you’re upset and you need time to come back to it with love and good energy, but that you will. The Buddha himself says that a monk has the right to be angry, but not for more than one night. We can’t all be monks, so I’m willing to give it more than 24 hours, but I desperately need the coming back together in order to move on.
This next seems a lesson I will keep learning my entire life: “We should not be sure of any perception we have.” According to TNH, anger mostly comes from incorrect perceptions. He says to write on a piece of paper, “Are you sure?” and hang it up in your room. And even if you are sure, check again.
Anger is defined in the book as an energy, with seeds that may have been watered too frequently over the years. The counter-balance is to water the positive seeds in you—the seeds of love, compassion, and understanding. I’ve been practicing this a little by writing in a gratitude journal every night before I go to sleep. Any practice of positivity keeps us in touch with elements that don’t constantly express suffering: the trees, flowers, children, art—whatever is refreshing, healing, and nourishing. As TNH says, “Let your friends rescue you.”
Along those lines, the book emphasizes that happiness and well-being are not individual matters. We are not separate from each other, from our parents, our ancestors, our friends. And not only that, our self is made of “non-self” elements, like the sun, the air, the earth, the food we eat. I love this psychedelic sense of connection, of selfhood as a universal - even cosmic – concept.
One way to save yourself from being overwhelmed by anger is by writing a Heart Sutra. When you feel very grateful for the other person in your life, TNH says to withdraw and be alone and immersed in those feelings. Write them down as an act of gratitude, enlightenment, mindfulness, intelligence. This is your Heart Sutra, meant to be read in times of need.
I also loved the idea of gift giving as a way to transform your feelings of hurt and anger at someone into wanting to make them happy. TNH advises not waiting until you’re angry to buy a present. He says to buy it when you feel the love. Have the luxury of two or three presents stashed secretly in your drawer, ready to be gifted. I haven’t done the advance buying yet, but I know that the general idea works. Doing something nice for someone, even (especially?) someone I’m mad at, invariably makes me feel better.
Over and over, TNH reminds us that the energy of mindfulness is the key to transforming the energy of anger. Suppressing, fighting, or ignoring anger will do no good. It must be recognized and embraced, often with great tenderness, in order to be transformed: “Hello, my little anger, I know you are there. My old friend.”
Far from reducing anger, punching a pillow (and acts like it) only rehearses it, trains you in aggression, strengthens and grows the seed of anger inside you. The danger of venting feels intuitively correct to me. I don’t want to project any semblance of violence, even on something as “forgiving” as a pillow. Our enemy isn’t the other person. Our enemy is the violence, ignorance, and injustice in us and in the other person. So we practice mindfulness to look deeply for the roots of our anger, to gain insight, which has the power to liberate us and allow transformation.
In the end, our emotions are just that. Emotions. And this might be the hardest lesson of all. We are more than our anger, more than our suffering, more than our emotions. All storms pass, and we have to remember that, and have hope. And in order to take care of our emotions, we have to go back to the body. We lie down, and we breathe: “Breathing in, I calm my whole body, breathing out, I calm my whole body.”
It doesn’t matter how intelligent we are, how much knowledge we’ve gained, how young or old or alone or stuck. Changing our habit energy (and we all have it) requires practice. We don’t have to wait for anyone else in order to start practicing. Transforming ourselves makes reconciliation possible, no matter how resistant the other person is. And either way, we are making space for compassion, for connection, for calm, for love, for kindness, one mindful step at a time.
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Zago
2.0 out of 5 stars The book was physically defectiveReviewed in Mexico on 4 May 2017
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This opinion is not related to the content of the book but to the condition in which it was delivered to me. The packaging was in good condition but the book I received was poorly finished. The leaves were badly cut. The defect is very obvious, I don't understand why they didn't even notice it when they packed the book.
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Ailin
5.0 out of 5 stars Must read when struggling with anger
Reviewed in Germany on 27 June 2020
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This book is really amazing. I stumbled across Thich Nhat Hanh by chance when googling for ways to cool down anger. After a lot of research across neuroscience and psychology, I stumbled across a video of him and found everything he said so refreshing and insightful... I am not a religious, but more of a factual/science person, never imagined I would find the most comfort in a spiritual context... But you will find in this book that no matter your religion (even if non), you will find meaning and relate to everything that is written here. I also got to find out more of Buddhism, and found out many very positive aspects about it that I wasn't even aware of. If you are struggling with anger, religious or not, trust me that this is a must read for you. It has really helped me improve and continue to do so. If you are doubting between different authors, feel confident to give this one a try. It’s even better than many other reads related to neuroscience, “how to rewire your brain” books, etc.
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KV Trout
5.0 out of 5 stars An excellent book on anger and how to deal with it
Reviewed in the United States on 28 December 2006
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This book is great for many reasons:
For one, it gives the Buddhist philosophy with hardly any dogma or dry, hard to understand Buddhist teachings. He keeps it simple and in plain English he explains the concepts of how to approach life - and anger - in a Buddhist manner, which is much simpler and user friendly than you would imagine. One need not "be a Buddhist" to read this book or benefit from it. In fact, it is more of a self-help book, that just happens to be written from the perspective of a Buddhist monk.
He gives you practical and easy to practice advice about how to deal with your wife or husband when you are boiling with anger. And at the same time he explains how just sitting quietly with your breath, or being mindful in your daily actions, can help you to overcome your anger. And when the anger arises anyway, he tells us not to get mad about getting mad, but rather to accept it, lovingly, and treat your anger as a crying baby, that you must accept it and soothe it. One does not cut one's stomach out when it has indigestion. By the same token, one should not cut one's anger out, but rather learn to quiet and calm it. I'm just paraphrasing, but that's more or less the lesson as I understood it.
But there are many more lessons here, and the book is written in such a simple, easy to understand way. I'm used to reading books that are written in a more complicated style, for example some of the Buddha's teachings translated from the original Pali, which require a little more work to understand. Or even some of Hanh's other books, such as The Heart of the Buddha's Teachings, which, though not difficult to understand, are a little more complex.
But this book is so easy to read and so easy to understand, I am giving it to my wife as an introduction to Buddhism, (she is Catholic), so that she can see in a very clear and easy way what Buddhism is all about. Also I am asking her to read it, as a way of showing her that I am working on my anger, and enlisting her help by showing her the approach I am taking, via this book, and asking her to help keep me mindful of my anger and mindful in general, and skillful in dealing with my emotions.
I have looked at dozens of Hanh's books, and while they are all worthwhile, this one is perhaps the most clear and easy to understand, basically distilling Buddhism down to its essence of mindfulness, and compassion, and watching the breath.
This book, I think, is especially helpful for anyone who has anger issues and who wants to reduce the suffering in his or her life, not only for his or herself, but also for his or her loved ones, whether it be one's daughter, son, wife, husband, mother, father, or etc...
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Frank Coles
4.0 out of 5 stars unmindful of the reader
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 5 February 2008
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If you're angry and looking for help then this book is unlikely to bring you any immediate solace or practical guidance. There are some nice ideas here but like most Buddhist writings they are presented in an unmindful way, i.e. with no consideration for the non-Buddhist reader and those unwilling to self-edit the material to make it usable.
The nice ideas: 'mindful' breathing whenever you are about to explode, owning and taking responsibility for your anger, 'venting' by punching pillows = rehearsing your anger, are interesting but...apart from this last very important point you can find these tips in any anger book or website out there, try Dr Irene's 'tips to help the control freak give up angry control' - it's only one side of A4 long and far more immediate.
It's quite a disorganised read overall and the mindful meditation exercises at the back are poorly explained. Shame really.
If you are a man looking for immediate advice on dealing with your anger then my advice is to try either Beyond Anger: A Guide For Men or some practical Cognitive Behavioural Therapy using the Feeling Good Handbook.
I thought the ideas here were useful but poorly presented, so for those with an interest in Thich's ideas buy it, for those with more practical needs written in everyday English try the books above.
25 people found this helpful
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Jason Cohen
4.0 out of 5 stars It's an insightful book and I enjoy reading it on occasion
Reviewed in Canada on 18 July 2015
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It's an insightful book and I enjoy reading it on occasion. Although since I've read other mindfulness books this one seems a bit repetitive at times, and only chooses basic methods with no elaborations on how to address anger (i.e. mentions mostly about mindful breathing and walking but nothing more)
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J.R. Higuera
4.0 out of 5 stars Always A Good Read
Reviewed in the United States on 23 August 2024
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This may be just another Thich Nhat Hanh book, but like so many of his others, it’s easy to read, encouraging, insightful, uplifting and so much more. I think everyone could benefit from reading this book. Especially in this day and age.
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Kindle Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing
Reviewed in India on 10 January 2024
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Nice lovely and a kind book for ourselves 💝. Will help you to live at peace and love and care.
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Innes
5.0 out of 5 stars Quite simply it changed my life ..
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 18 April 2012
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Only a handful of books have touched me in some way. But this one, changed my life. It opened my heart/mind to a more tolerant, compassionate and peaceful way of thought / being and in turn - i was able to reach people around me and bring relief / peace or simply a smile to them where otherwise there would be conflict / tension or defensiveness. The narrative is simple, not heavy, effective without complication and does not tell you 'how you should think and feel' but aids you in exploring how you actually think and feel and to question if your way hurts you and others - and if so - why and how you can releive that suffering in your 'self' and others. A beautifully touching and far reaching book. I wish this was a compulsory study book at schools.
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Simple and Clear Anger Management Methods
Reviewed in the United States on 14 February 2024
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The author does an excellent job in clarifying the origins of anger and how to use mindfulness to manage anger. He also is very clear in the connection between his recommendations known Buddhist psychology which serves as an excellent framework for dealing with strong emotions
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Heather MacLeod
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book
Reviewed in Canada on 9 July 2019
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Love this author
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K P Vineeth
5.0 out of 5 stars Read with mindfulness
Reviewed in India on 23 June 2023
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A good take away on dealing with anger, it is very important for everyone who are living hustlebustle life where anger is triggering just-like-that. This book explained how one should be mindful and have compassion.
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D. Sanders
5.0 out of 5 stars A wonderful book!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 14 October 2004
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If anger flares up in you and you have no technique for dealing with it, other than punishing yourself and others, then this book is for you. Bhuddist psychology is not quackery or pseudo-science, it's practicle and applicable to everyday life. I have met the author, and he genuinely lives the life that he recommends to you - a life of love and compassion for yourself and others.
By the end of this book I saw the suffering that I have caused myself and loved ones through my anger, and the futility of holding onto it with righteous pride. Anger is suffering, there is no nobility in it, just pain, and this book teaches you not to combat anger with yet more hatred and self loathing, but to transform it with wisdom and compassion.
78 people found this helpful
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Emily Marie
5.0 out of 5 stars as described
Reviewed in Canada on 3 December 2018
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very pleased and excited to read.
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Angelica
5.0 out of 5 stars Selfish, impulsive, dissmisive
Reviewed in the United States on 13 October 2017
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This book has made me see things differently. I used to be selfish and impulsive. Im now more mindful with things I say, how I act , and how I respond. I bought this book to improve myself and be a better person and not be so passive, sarcastic, and dissmissive. I walk in new shoes today. My favorite quote so far "When a person’s speech is full of anger, it is because he or she suffers deeply." Take a moment to analyze what that means when youre angry and when someone else is angry. Thos book really does you a favor. This book continues to fulfilI its purpose. Also, I RECOMMEND for you to read this book as well as "Empathy by Roman Krznaric" for the ultimate change in your life. Ive been reading both at the same time. Think about it....anger includes lack of empathy. I really am a different person. You can always see a sample and read a few pages of each book. The amazon kindle app is free.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Resolve Syria Now with Mindful Breathing and Mindful Walking
Reviewed in the United States on 15 September 2013
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When the kids get out of school for the summer in my neighborhood, it turns into "Lord of the Flies" in my backyard. Reading this book by spurts during that time kept me from getting a gun permit. Read it at the same time as George Zimmerman's trial for "Stand your Ground" in Florida. This country really does not have any business punishing Syria for killing their kids with gas. The United States cannot adequately care for its own children. Guns are more important than child safety in this country and every parent should be required to read this book before they blow a gasket. The story that cute little Buddhist monk of an author told in this book that really put the brakes on for me was the man running down the street to catch the guy that set his house on fire. He didn't catch the guy and when he got home.....he had no home because it was burned to the ground. That helped me know that spending the money to put up a six foot fence around my property so the kids coming thru my yard without permission to tear up my gardens, wouldn't do me any good if the roof is leaking. He talks about the U.S. punishing Iraq as well which I thought.........WOW! Anyone trying to figure out Syria, should read this right now. Very calming. Mindful breathing. Mindful walking.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Magic of mindfulness.
Reviewed in India on 21 September 2020
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It has changed my life, my mind and my attitude for the better! This book came to me at the right time. As for the reviews, I did not find anything repetitive. To ingrain the importance of mindfulness, I felt the writer made it necessary to highlight it again and again till we practice it for ourselves and reap the benefits. Deep mindful meditation walking is now a part of my daily routine. If one book can change your life this is def. the one book for me. This is my personal experience.
25 people found this helpful
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Pamela H. Parsons
4.0 out of 5 stars Learning how to love.
Reviewed in the United States on 13 November 2001
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How timely - a book on Anger that arrives just after the tragedy of Sept. 11. Timely, yet timeless. To me, this book titled "Anger" is really a book about love in every possible meaning of the word. What are the things that usually make us angry, but those things that make us feel unloved - those things that make us, or those people or beliefs that we cherish, feel dishonored, disrespected, excluded and ignored. This books shows how to get into the heart of those feelings and into the heart and soul of those who treat us this way. But most important of all is the simplicity of the language and honesty of the message. I have read a lot of deeply spiritual books by many authors of many different religions and belief systems - but none are as PRACTCAL and REAL as this. This is written by a person who clearly has shared these very human feelings that we all have and yet he is a monk. How often have we NEEDED to have our spirtual teachers be perfect and yet find that perfection impossible to reach ourselves. Yet here is a monk who has clearly felt these same feelings as we have - looked deeply into them and learned how to transform them into love. These simple methods he shares in this book. There is NO judgement, NO criticism, NO shame only pure heartfelt and deep understanding of the human condition by a human being who is sharing very real ways for all of us to HEAL.
73 people found this helpful
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Ivan Alfredo
4.0 out of 5 stars The Miracle of Mindfulness applied to Anger
Reviewed in the United States on 3 August 2007
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This book is well written, and it is sometimes necessarily repetitive (Yes I wrote necessarily) in order to stress the point that to be able to deal with the habit energy released by anger, the energy of mindfulness has to be generated by the practitioner which will lovingly take care of anger.
I can see why some people have written mixed reviews on this book. However, Zen is not meant to be idealized or understood intellectually, it is direct experience which provides the true understanding of Zen. When a Zen master is asked what it is that Zen practitioners do differently from others he is likely to say "well..when we are hungry we eat, when we are tired we sleep, when we are thirsty we drink water." Mindfulness is doing whatever ordinary task we have at hand with all of our hearts. That's the practice taugth in this book.
This is a book for those who already practice the art of mindful living and wish to strenghthen their mindfulness in a way that will bring home the Pure Land for him/herself and therefore his/her loved ones.
4 people found this helpful
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Troy
1.0 out of 5 stars Is there a hidden camera?
Reviewed in the United States on 3 September 2024
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This book cant be real, if farm raised chickens are raised in poor conditions that make them angry, then when I eat them I too will be angry. To be happy, chew eat bite of food 50 times until it becomes liquid. Ill remember this the next time someone violates my exoectations instead of getting mad. WASTE of money, but oh, he says money wont make you happy, but he selling all these books...
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kirtida gautam
5.0 out of 5 stars I can love, nourish, and care for my anger.
Reviewed in the United States on 15 September 2017
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I never read Thich Nhat Hanh's book in a single go. I pick one of his books and read it over a period of a few months. Just a couple of pages at a time. This is the best way to read his work. If you will read his book, you might think he is saying the same thing again and again.
It's because he IS saying the same thing again and again.
That is how the Buddhist mantra conversation works.
If you will read the work over period of a long time, like a practice, you will notice a paradigm shift in your psyche as the result of the reading.
When I started this book a few months ago, I was an extremely angry person.
Just today, I achieved a major milestone in understanding my nature of Anger, and I am finishing this book.
It's almost like I travelled a full circle with this book.
I am still angry.
But I am not scared of anger.
I can love, nourish, and care for my anger.
5 people found this helpful
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Southern California
5.0 out of 5 stars Practical; very helpful
Reviewed in the United States on 2 September 2023
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I love the non-judgmental, loving, practical advice. The book is a series of short comments that can be read on consecutive days as enjoyable quiet time.
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Chappy
4.0 out of 5 stars Could Save Your Relationship
Reviewed in the United States on 11 July 2017
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I have also read You Are Here which taught me about mindfulness. Hanh once more invites you to use mindfulness to heal failing relationships. He teaches in this book to let the other person know about your suffering. He teaches that the other person is never the main cause of your suffering. Hanh can be very repetitive in this book. It seems he is saying the same things over and over. Either way this book can help you save a relationship you once cherished and want to feel the same about once more. If you truly desire to mend your suffering, or even the suffering you may be causing your loved ones, read the book. Write the peace letter he speaks of or have the conversation with that loved one. Stay Zen.
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RiSO
5.0 out of 5 stars Learn valuable tools to preserve or gather good thoughts and diffuse anger.
Reviewed in the United States on 9 February 2023
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This is a masterpiece. No psychobabble, just honest techniques to be mindful. Mindful of the greatness of being alive thankfully, and more importantly how to coexist with co passion for others, also suffering as you do.
Great read, dont delay adding these insight to your life's toolbox.
2 people found this helpful
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BDeveroux
5.0 out of 5 stars Best ever book I have ever read
Reviewed in the United States on 21 May 2021
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The title of the book says it all, I've had held onto a lot of anger over the years and Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames has really helped me get to the bottom of it all, taught me a lot and how to deal with those who make me angry. How to cope & deal with your anger is very important and this book teaches you how & why we should. I highly recommend this book. I have even loaned my copy to others who also appreciate and love this book as much as I do. A must read!
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Kristina Benney
5.0 out of 5 stars Highly recommend
Reviewed in the United States on 6 October 2022
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I bought this book a year or so ago and it has been sitting on a shelf collecting dust. I recently decided to open it and give it a read and I was pleasantly surprised. It has helped me so much. I really recommend this book to anyone who is struggling.
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Jimmy Jones
1.0 out of 5 stars Very poor.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 3 June 2014
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i don't hate the book as the review (1 star states) - i don't hate anything, but I can't give it two stars. The reason being as I read it it became clear that this guy has never really been in any real life situations to gain any knowledge or experience. Being a buddhist monk he talks about only what he believes but in reality this doesn't work in the world we live in. I really hoped for so much more after reading other reviews but instead got frustrated at reading the same phrases over and over again repeatedly. Just repeating chapter after chapter but written differently doesn't work for me - it made me more angry rather than helped me cool me flames :)
And lots of examples of peoples relationships and how to stop the anger growing when you feel anger toward somebody (during an argument for example) - but mostly his thoughts on anger are only related to relationships (mother/ daughter, husband/ wife, father/ son) but anger manifests from whole areas of life but these are the only things he concentrates on and to be honest if he has never been in these situations it is easy for him to state what to do. But without knowledge or experience is something else. He writes like a shallow American, give me a hug type over the top 'love' that doesn't help to cool any flames. His writing is poor and makes me feel like either a child or someone inexperienced wrote it. he certainly doesn't have any experience in these situations it's clear. And to be honest - he gives no real solution, only repeats the same phrasing over and over agin in every chapter. Pointless.
He doesn't deal at all with where the anger comes from (the route causes) because i'm sure he has no experience or knowledge, he's just a monk in his own world. What about anger stemming from frustration - that isn't caused by someone or directed at anyone but by a situation? Basically he sees anger only arising out of arguments or conflict in relationships but that's not the big picture and not where people need guidance, they need guidance before it even gets to the argument stage.
So if i were you - i'd skip it, find something else before you waste your time and money on it, it's very weak.
17 people found this helpful
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Ruth
5.0 out of 5 stars A Gift
Reviewed in the United States on 8 December 2010
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After reading this book several times over years, I gave it as a gift to my grandson. He thanked me every time he saw me, and joined a group to learn mindfulness and practice meditation. This has made a big difference to him and turned his life around.
I liked the book because it teaches to embrace anger, not get rid of it, and to become aware of where anger comes from, and how to delay expressing anger, and the practice of walking meditation and mindfullness. The book is short and very easy to understand and follow. It is not necesary to practice all the ideas, like diet, but opened my thinking to a different view of emotions. One does not have to become a Budhist in order to practice meditation or prayer.
Since reading this book, when I am offended by someone, I turn it around and ask how I may have offended them!
A short easy to read book that has had a big impact on my relationship with others.
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Key Insights From:
Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames
By Thích Nhất Hạnh
Psychology Religion and Theology Self-Help
Audio Available | 12 Minute Read
Published: Sep 3, 2002
What You'll Learn:
The Trappist monk Thomas Merton once said of the Vietnamese Buddhist Thich Nhat Hanh “[he] is more my brother than many who are nearer to me in race and nationality, because he and I see things the exact same way.” Martin Luther King Jr. described the monk as “a holy man, for he is humble and devout…a scholar of immense intellectual capacity.” So strongly did King believe in Hanh’s program for peace that he nominated Hanh for the Nobel Peace Prize in 1967. Hanh died in 2022, but his teachings continue to captivate and challenge people around the world. In Anger, Hanh explores the nature of anger and offers practical suggestions for how to tend to our anger and the anger of others. He submits that an angry person is a suffering person, in need of compassion.
Key Insights:
When someone makes you angry, your top priority is cooling the fire inside—not hunting down the person who ignited it.
Comfort your anger like it’s your needy child.
Happiness is not a private concern.
If your anger is so intense that you can’t confront someone compassionately, then wait.
Once you learn to cool your own flames, you can lend a hand in helping other people cool their flames.
Our anger is intimately tied to our consumption patterns.
You are far more attractive when you smile.
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