Showing posts with label Quaker retreat projects. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Quaker retreat projects. Show all posts

2020/06/03

Spiritual Practices for the Pandemic - Mathilda Navias



Spiritual Practices for the Pandemic - Mathilda Navias



Spiritual Practices for the Pandemic
by Mathilda Navias on June 1, 2020


Illustrations © Good Studio



I’ve been on a lot of videoconference meetings recently with Quakers, including my meeting’s Sunday worship, committee meetings, connecting with the Friends in my School of the Spirit program, and a lot of check‐ins where people share how they’re doing in body, mind, and spirit.

I’ve noticed two trends: most Friends are feeling anxious and stressed. We’re experiencing a collective, global trauma, made particularly difficult by its prolonged nature, the total uncertainty that lies before us, and forced changes in our lives. Some are dealing with very stressful work situations, others with looming financial disaster. And we’re responding with recognizable symptoms such as being unable to fully process a lot of what’s going on, or feeling kind of numb or fuzzy‐minded. I’m told that these are normal reactions. I assume that extroverts are having a particularly hard time because of physical distancing, and all of us are missing being with friends and family, especially when they are in the hospital or a nursing home. On the other hand, a few Friends are feeling buoyant, that this is the best thing that’s happened in a long time, happily tucked up in their own nests. They are relishing the solitude and free time. I assume they are introverts who don’t mind the isolation as much.

My heart goes out to Friends who are feeling the stress. It can help if we understand that we are reacting to a traumatic situation. It’s also helpful, given the circumstances, for us to give ourselves some slack. Be gentle with yourself. Don’t criticize yourself for not being up to your usual standards. Be merciful with yourself. And give others some slack, too.

It makes us feel better if we can do something constructive, rather than just whiling away the time or focusing on our worries. Creating something is a mood booster. Being out in nature helps, like gardening and talking walks in a natural setting. People are catching up on household projects. Finding a way to contribute to your community helps everyone: many people are making masks for health workers or neighbors; there are lots of patterns on the web. For donating masks to health workers, first check with the facility to find out exactly what they need. Additional ideas for helping in your community can be found at idealist.org/en/careers/help-others-coronavirus. With massive unemployment, food banks in particular need donations of food and money; you can check to see if ones around you also need volunteers. Simply keeping yourself safe contributes to everyone’s health.

Along with anxiety, many of us have a lot of free time on our hands. I’ve been thinking about what in our Quaker tradition might help us cope. And it occurred to me that something that might help is to adopt a spiritual practice or two. Why not take the opportunity to make this a time of spiritual growth, which might also help relieve anxiety?

I’ve been practicing and hearing about a variety of spiritual disciplines off and on for the past 20 years or so as part of Lake Erie Yearly Meeting’s Spiritual Formation program, first as a participant, then as a member of the planning committee, and finally as clerk of the planning committee. One component of the program, which runs during the school year, is for each participant to choose a spiritual discipline for the year.

I have found some practices that help me stay grounded through the day and that help me feel more in touch with the Divine. I have also experienced spiritual growth. I’ve heard other Friends report on benefits, things like, “I can go peacefully to sleep at night” and “I feel more in touch with God.” Other benefits that people experience include (no promises, of course): being more open to the Spirit; increased resilience; awareness that there’s more than just the immediate moment; and a deeper connection with the source of life, which can show up in all sorts of ways.

So what’s a spiritual practice? It’s an activity you do that deepens your spiritual life, and it can be almost anything. Possible activities vary widely and include ones while sitting down or moving; reading and reflection; journaling; and prayer. A number of spiritual practices are listed below. Each is described briefly. More information on most of them is available on the web and in books.

Before beginning any spiritual practice, it is good to take a few deep breaths to ground yourself. Breathing deeply causes a physiological response that gets us out of our lizard brain (“fight or flight”) to the reasoning parts of our brain and can help us to connect to Spirit.

Prayer and Contemplation

Centering prayer. Choose a meaningful word to focus on with the intention to consent to God’s presence and action. Sitting comfortably and with eyes closed, settle briefly and silently introduce the word. When you become aware of thoughts, return ever so gently to the word. At the end of the prayer period, remain in silence with eyes closed for a couple of minutes.

Gratitude. Express your gratitude in your mind, out loud, or in a journal. This is especially good to do first thing in the morning. Don’t allow yourself to be sarcastic—search for things you genuinely appreciate once you think of them: the people in your life; spring; your meeting community.

If you are having trouble sleeping, try listing things you’re grateful for, starting with A and continuing through the alphabet.

Guided meditation. As you settle into stillness, allow yourself to be directed by a recorded voice. The University of California, Los Angeles has a webpage with free guided meditations, in both English and Spanish, at uclahealth.org/marc/mindful-meditations. There are also a number of meditation apps available for your smartphone or mobile device. Two of the most popular paid versions are Headspace and Calm.

Holding in the Light. Hold the people you care about, your community, the conditions in the world, or anything else that could benefit from God’s healing or comforting touch in the Light. Many Friends do this by envisioning a source of light either overhead or from the side shining on the person, people, or situation.

Practicing awareness of the presence. Center down: turn your attention away from daily activities; empty your mind of daily cares. Take a deep breath and relax. Sit quietly and allow your mind to empty. Notice when you become aware of God’s presence or a deeper sense of being.

Practicing compassion. Spend some time allowing yourself to remember when you have not met your own expectations. Feel compassion for this person who is doing their best under the circumstances. Then allow yourself to remember when another person has not met your expectations. Feel compassion for this person who is doing their best under the circumstances. In your daily life, when your expectations are not met, extend compassion to the person, whether it’s yourself or someone else.

A prayer. From me to you: “May you get what you need to be healthy and whole.” Now you try: “May _____ get what they need to be healthy and whole. May I get what I need to be healthy and whole.” The intention here is for spiritual rather than physical health and wholeness.

Praying. Prayer is communication between you and the Divine. It can take the form of a set prayer like the Lord’s Prayer, or, more usual for Quakers, it can be words you use to tell God of your condition or to ask for something, or a wordless state of connection with the Divine. Remember that communication can be two‐way, both from you to God and from God to you. Leave time and open yourself to the possibility of divine input.

Seeking divine guidance in whatever way works for you. When faced with a decision, I’ve adopted the habit of saying, “So, God, what do you think?” Other words you can use are “Show me the way.” Or you can do it without words—just open yourself to the Divine and enter a period of expectant waiting.

Silent grace. Just before you begin eating a meal, take a few minutes to bring to mind your gratitude or to silently feel God’s presence. You may hold hands with others at the table if you wish.

Spending time in nature. In most places in North America, you can still get into parks or other natural places. Check with the town or city you live in to make sure. Taking a walk or just sitting while observing plants, animals, and insects can bring refreshment and lighten your heart.

Walking a labyrinth. First you have to have a labyrinth available, or create one yourself. Entering the serpentine path of the labyrinth, walk slowly while quieting your mind and focusing on a spiritual question or prayer.

Walking meditation. Walk a bit more slowly than usual. Relax and let your walking be easy and natural. Pay attention to your body. Feel each step as you walk. When you reach the end of your path, pause for a moment. Center yourself, carefully turn around, and pause again so that you can be aware of the first step as you walk back. You can experiment with the speed, walking at whatever pace keeps you most present. Continue for 10 to 20 minutes.

Yoga or Tai chi. There are many classes and videos available online.

Shifting Awareness

Cultivating an awareness of beauty. Intentionally spend some time looking at something you find beautiful: some artwork; flowers; a photograph. Just be with it. Notice its details. Then, as you go about your daily life, notice and appreciate when you see something beautiful.

Cultivating a sense of wonder and awe. Intentionally spend some time in the presence of something you find wonderful or awesome: a baby (long distance); seedlings popping out of the ground; birds wheeling in the sky. Just be there. Notice your feelings and let them expand. Then, as you go about your daily life, notice when you encounter something wonderful or awesome.

Eating mindfully. Pay close attention to flavors and sensations as you eat slowly. There’s a good description at gaiam.com/blogs/discover/zen-your-diet.

Listening to meditative music. Come to inner stillness while listening to music that you find meditative. If thoughts come up, let them pass away again, unless they are of spiritual import.

Supporting One Another

Faithfulness groups (long distance). For Friends who are seeking to faithfully follow divine guidance in service, witness, carrying out a ministry, or following a leading, creating or joining a faithfulness group helps keep you and other members accountable. For guidelines, search the web or contact Marcelle Martin (friendmarcelle@aol.com).

Spiritual direction. Spiritual direction is an opportunity to explore your relationship with the Divine and to listen for the guidance of the Spirit with the help of someone who listens to your story, concerns, or desires, and seeks to be a companion, nurturer, and guide. Interview at least two, and keep looking until you find someone you work with well. Expect to pay the person. Spiritual directors should be under spiritual direction and in a peer group themselves. To find a spiritual director, start by asking a Quaker retreat center. Spiritual Directors International (sdiworld.org) has a good description, questions to ask, and some Quakers. Note: They do not vet the people they list.

Friends I can recommend (in alphabetical order):
Angela York Crane (yorkcranea@moravian.edu)
Elaine Emily (eemily@adventministries.net, adventministries.net)
Mary Kay Glazer (mkglazer.com)
Anne Pomeroy (apomeroy10@gmail.com)
Christopher Sammond (sammondc@gmail.com)

Spiritual friendship. Find another Friend also on a spiritual path and regularly share, support, and hold each other accountable for mutual spiritual support. For guidelines, see leym.org/spiritual-formation/spiritual-friendship.

Emotional Cleansing

Grieving. The world as we knew it three months ago is gone—that’s worthy of grieving. You may also feel the loss of human touch, loss of identity along with the loss of a job, financial losses, loss of independence, loss of a perceived future, and/or loss of a loved one. You may be experiencing denial, anger, depression, acceptance, or some combination of those. Tears are appropriate. You can write a list of what you are grieving; tell the stories of the people you have lost; or listen to music that helps you feel the depth of your grief. Grieving with others can help. Grief is painful, but it helps if we allow ourselves to feel it so that we can work through it.

Lamentation. A lament can take the form of a question born of anger and pain, tears, prayers, crying out one’s despair, or calls for help. In lamenting, you open your heart to the pain and name the injustices and conditions that cause the grief. It can be done alone or with others (long distance). It is not complaining.

Working with a Text

Journaling. Write down your thoughts or responses to something you’ve just read. Let the words flow; do not self‐edit. Most people find that physically writing, using pen or pencil and paper, works better than typing on a computer. Any notebook will work. For helpful suggestions, see tinybuddha.com/blog/10-journaling-tips-to-help-you-heal-grow-and-thrive.

Lectio divina (divine reading). Choose a text, either scripture or something else. Read it; meditate on it; pray on it; contemplate it. For a fuller description, see leym.org/spiritual-formation/lectio-divina.

Memorizing. Scripture, prayers, or poetry can be memorized and repeated back to yourself like a mantra, or as a way to connect more deeply with the words.

Reading spiritual journals, biography, autobiography, or memoirs. Suggestions: The Journal of John Woolman; With Head and Heart by Howard Thurman; The Genesee Diary by Henri Nouwen; Something Beautiful for God: Mother Teresa of Calcutta by Malcolm Muggeridge; One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.

Reading and/or studying the Bible or another text. The method suggested in the “Friendly Bible Study Method” by Joanne and Larry Spears is a good one, and can be adapted for a person working alone. There’s a document available at leym.org/spiritual-formation/a-sampler-of-spiritual-disciplines, where you will also find links to many of the other webpages listed here.



It’s great to turn one or more of these into a spiritual discipline that’s part of one’s daily life. This means doing a spiritual practice consistently, usually every day. Like learning to play the flute or any other instrument, practice is necessary in order to get good at whatever it is. If you only do it once in a while, you may not get very far. Practicing a spiritual discipline builds up your spiritual muscles, as it were. I remember years ago a Friend confiding to me that she’d been praying for guidance on a difficult decision, but wasn’t getting anywhere. She then commented, “But what did I expect? I’m not in the habit of praying.”

Here are some guidelines. Plan to spend at least 20 minutes a day; it helps if it’s the same time each day. Choose a discipline that sounds like it might be fun or interesting or worthwhile. See if you can practice the one you’ve chosen faithfully for two to three weeks, then review whether it’s something you want to continue. Most spiritual disciplines don’t lead to a noticeable change until you’ve done them for at least two months. If you find that you’re not doing it, you can either work harder at being faithful or choose a different one, or a different time of day. The point is to find one that works for you, not to commit to doing something just for the discipline. Continue the activity for as long as it is fruitful, from a couple of months to several years or more. You may even find that you want to do more than one.

No matter what you choose to practice, may it open the doors you need to have opened; may it lead you in the right direction for you.

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Mathilda Navias is currently updating and expanding her book, Quaker Process for Friends on the Benches. She has recently retired to Rochester, N.Y., from Ohio, where she is a member of Broadmead Meeting. Contact: quakermathilda@gmail.com.Posted in: Features, Membership and Friends


community, divine, God, health, heart, person, prayer, Quakers, slider, Spiritual Formation, work

2019/02/19

The Road Less Traveled: Grace, the miracle of serendipity | Radical Reading's

The Road Less Traveled: Grace, the miracle of serendipity | Radical Reading's

The Road Less Traveled: Grace, the miracle of serendipity
Posted on September 21, 2011 by radicalreadings
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What we are talking of here in regard to paranormal events with beneficial consequences is the phenomenon of serendipity.

Webster’s Dictionary defines serendipity as 
“the gift of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought for.”

There are several intriguing features to this definition. 
One is the terming of serendipity as a gift, thereby implying that some people possess it while others don’t, that some people are lucky and others are not.

 It is a major thesis of this section that grace, manifested in part by “valuable or agreeable things not sought for,” is available to everyone, but that while some take advantage of it, others do not. 

By letting the beetle in, catching it, and giving it to his patient, Jung was clearly taking advantage of it. Some of the reasons why and ways that people fail to take advantage of grace will be explored later under the subject heading of “resistance to grace.” 

But for the moment let me suggest that one of the reasons we fail to take full advantage of grace is that we are not fully aware of its presence – that is, we don’t find valuable things not sought for, because we fail to appreciate the value of the gift when it is given us. 

In other words, serendipitous events occur to all of us, but frequently we fail to recognize their serendipitous nature; we consider such events quite unremarkable, and subsequently we fail to take full advantage of them.

Peck, M. Scott. (1978). The Road Less Traveled. p. 257-258

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The Road Less Traveled: Grace, a definition | Radical Reading's

The Road Less Traveled: Grace, a definition


Standard
I have described a whole variety of phenomena that have the following characteristics in common:
(a) They serve to nurture – support, protect, and enhance – human life and spiritual growth.
(b) The mechanism of their action is either incompletely understandable (as in the case of physical resistance and dreams) or totally obscure (as in the case of paranormal phenomena) according to the principles of lateral law as interpreted by current scientific thinking.
(c) Their occurrence is frequent, routine, commonplace and essentially universal among humanity.
(d) Although potentially influenced by human consciousness their origin is outside of the conscious will and beyond the process of conscious decision-making.
Although generally regarded as separate, I have come to believe that their commonality indicates that theses phenomena are part of or manifestations of single phenomenon: a powerful force originating outside of human consciousness which nurtures the spiritual growth of human beings. For hundreds and even thousands of years before the scientific conceptualization of such things as immune globules, dream states, and the unconscious, this force has been consistently recognized by the religious, who have applied to it the name of grace. And have sung its praise. “Amazing grace, how sweet the sound…”
What are we to do – we who are properly skeptical and scientific-minded – with this “powerful force originating outside of human consciousness which nurtures the spiritual growth of human beings?”  We cannot touch this force. We have no decent way to measure it. Yet it exists. It is real. Are we to operate with tunnel vision and ignore it because it does not fit in easily with traditional scientific concepts of natural law? To do so seems perilous. I do not think we can hope to approach a full understanding of the cosmos, of the place of (WO)man within the cosmos, and hence the nature of (WO)mankind itself, without incorporating the phenomenon of grace into our conceptual framework.
Yet we cannot even locate this force. We have said only where it is not: residing in human consciousness. Then where does it reside? Some of the phenomena we have discussed, such as dreams, suggest that grace resides in the unconscious mind of the individual. Other phenomena, such as synchronicity and serendipity, indicate this force to exist beyond the boundaries of the single individual. It is not simply because we are scientists that we have difficulty locating grace. The religious, who, of course, ascribe the origins of grace to God, believing it to be literally God’s love, have through the ages had the same difficulty locating God. There are within theology two lengthy and opposing traditions in the regard: one, the doctrine of Emanance, which holds that grace emanates down from an external God to (WO)men; the other, the doctrine of Immanence, which holds that grace immanates out from the God within the center of (WO)man’s being.
Peck, M. Scott. (1978). The Road Less Traveled. p. 260-261



** M. Scott Peck - Wikipedia, The Road Less Traveled, People of the Lie 아직도 가야 할 길




M. Scott Peck - Wikipedia

M. Scott Peck
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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M. Scott Peck
Born Morgan Scott Peck
May 22, 1936
New York City , New York
Died September 25 , 2005 (aged 69)
Connecticut
Occupation Psychiatrist , writer
Nationality American
Notable works The Road Less Traveled , People of the Lie



Morgan Scott Peck (May 22, 1936 – September 25, 2005) was an American psychia book The Road Less Traveled , published in 1978.
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Contents

7Bibliography
8References
9Further reading
10External links


Early life

Peck was born in New York City , the son of Zabeth (née Saville) and David Warner Peck, an attorney and judge. [1] His parents were Quakers . [2] [3] Peck was raised a Protestant (his paternal grandmother was from a Jewish family, but Peck's father identified himself as a WASP [4] and not as Jewish). [5] [6] [7]

His parents sent him to the prestigious boarding school Phillips Exeter Academy in Exeter, New Hampshir e , when he was 13. [8] In his book, The Road Less Traveled , [9] he confides the story of his brief stay at Exeter, and admits that it was a most miserable time. Finally, at age 15, during the spring holiday of his third year, he came home and refused to return to the school, whereupon his parents sought psychiatric help for him and he was (much to his amusement in later life) diagnosed with depression and recommended for a month's psychiatric hospital (unless he chose to return to school). He then transferred to Friends Seminary (a private K-12 school) in late 1952, and graduated in 1954, after which he received a BA from Harvard in 1958, and an MD from Case Western Reserve University in 1963. [8]

Career

Peck served in administrative posts in the government during his career as a psychiatrist. He also served in the US Army and rose to the rank of lieutenant colonel

His Army assignments included stints as chief of psychology at the Army Medical Center in Okinawa , Japan , and assistant chief of psychiatry and neurology in the office of the surgeon general in Washington, DC [8] He was the Medical Director of the New Milford Hospital Mental Health Clinic and a psychiatrist in private practice in New Milford, Connecticut . [8] 

His first and best-known book, The Road Less Travele d, sold more than ten million copies.

Peck's works combined his experiences from his private psychiatric practice with a distinctly religious point of view. 

In his second book, People of the Lie , he wrote, "After many years of vague identification with Buddhist and Islamic mysticism, I ultimately made a firm Christian commitment – ​​signified by my non-denominational baptism on the ninth of March 1980.[age 44].. (Peck, 1983/1988, [10] p11).

 One of his views was that people who are evil attack others rather than face their own failures. [9]

In December 1984, Peck co-founded the Foundation for Community Encouragement (FCE), a tax-exempt, nonprofit, whose stated mission is " to teach the principles of community to individuals and organizations." FCE ceased day-to-day operations from 2002 to 2009. In late 2009, almost 25 years after FCE was first founded, the organization offering community building and training events in 2010. [8]

Personal life

Peck married Lily Ho in 1959, and they had three children. In 1994, they jointly received the Community of Christ International Peace Award . In 2004, they were separated and later divorced . Peck then married Kathleen Kline Yates. 

Peck's writings emphasized the virtues of a disciplined life and delayed gratification , his personal life was far more turbulent. [8] For example, in his book In Search of Stones , [11] Peck acknowledged having extramarital affairs children.

===




===
Death

Peck died at his home in Connecticut on September 25, 2005, after suffering from Parkinson's disease and pancreatic [8] and liver duct cancer . Fuller Theological Seminary houses the archives of his publications, awards, and correspondence


======

The Road Less Traveled

The Road Less Traveled, [9] published in 1978, is Peck's best-known work, and the one that made his reputation. 

It is, in short, a description of the attributes that make for a fulfilled human being , based largely on his experiences as a psychiatrist and a person.

The book consists of four parts. 

The Road Less Traveled: by M. Scott Peck | Reviews Goodreads

The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth by M. Scott Peck | Goodreads



The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth
by M. Scott Peck
4.05 · Rating details · 74,657 ratings · 2,000 reviews


316 pp. "Psychotherapy is all things to all people in this mega-selling pop-psychology watershed, which features a new introduction by the author in this 25th anniversary edition. His agenda in this tome, which was first published in 1978 but didn't become a bestseller until 1983, is to reconcile the psychoanalytic tradition with the conflicting cultural currents roiling the 70s. 

In the spirit of Me-Decade individualism and libertinism, 
he celebrates self-actualization as life's highest purpose and 
flirts with the notions of open marriage and therapeutic sex between patient and analyst

But because he is attuned to the nascent conservative backlash against the therapeutic worldview, Peck also cites Gospel passages, recruits psychotherapy to the cause of traditional religion (he even convinces a patient to sign up for divinity school) and 
insists that problems must be overcome through suffering, discipline and hard work (with a therapist.) 

Often departing from the cerebral and rationalistic bent of Freudian discourse for a mystical, Jungian tone more compatible with New Age spirituality, 
Peck writes of psychotherapy as an exercise in "love" and "spiritual growth," asserts that "our unconscious is God" and 
affirms his belief in miracles, reincarnation and telepathy. 

Peck's synthesis of such clashing elements (he even throws in a little thermodynamics) is held together by a warm and lucid discussion of psychiatric principles and moving accounts of his own patients' struggles and breakthroughs. 

Harmonizing psychoanalysis and spirituality, Christ and Buddha, Calvinist work ethic and interminable talking cures, this book is a touchstone of our contemporary religio-therapeutic culture." 

-- Publishers Weekly
Keywords: MIND & BODY PSYCHOLOGY SOCIOLOGY RELIGION (less)
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Paperback, 316 pages
Published December 31st 1978 by Simon & Schuster (first published 1978)



Feb 01, 2011Chris Wolfe rated it really liked it
It gets four stars for the simple truth of the opening lines:

"Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult--once we truly understand and accept it--then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters."

It amazes me how much damage I have done by expecting life to be something other than difficult and how much easier my life is when I accept that it is difficult and that I will be uncomfortable.
(less)
flag199 likes · Like · 9 comments · see review



Nov 14, 2014Sanjay Gautam rated it really liked it · review of another edition
The author has delved deep into, with profound insights, on what really causes unhappiness in our life. He asserts that it is precisely in avoiding our problems and hurdles that we suffer in our life; it is the pain and suffering caused by difficulties in life that we have to meet in order to grow mentally and spiritually. We cannot solve life's problems except by solving them.



The following were the key-takeaways:

* LIFE IS DIFFICULT. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult--once we truly understand and accept it--then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.

* Without discipline we can solve nothing. With only some discipline we can solve only some problems. With total discipline we can solve all problems.

* A person who has the ability to delay gratification has the key to psychological maturity, whereas impulsiveness is a mental habit that, in denying opportunities to experience pain, creates neuroses.

* Most large problems we have are the result of not facing up to earlier, smaller problems, of failing to be 'dedicated to the truth'. The great mistake most people make is believing that problems will go away of their own accord. (less)
flag92 likes · Like · 11 comments · see review



Aug 08, 2010Birdie Passaro rated it it was amazing · review of another edition
An extraordinary book about Life and the art of Living. It was the most complete and indepth book about personal development from which one become much more aware of the nature of all kinds of relationships.
This book will help to shape your vision of Life!
Please, just read it. Your perspective about things will never be the same. Notable, indeed!
flag83 likes · Like · 4 comments · see review



Sep 28, 2007Laura rated it did not like it
Shelves: non-fiction
"Dr." Peck's first doorstop. Inexplicably, this sorry waste of time and paper remained on the NYT Bestseller list for something like ten years. (I don't know why I'm surprised, actually -- this is the same country that elected George W. Bush twice, not to mention the vulgar talking yam who now sits in the Oval Office.) If you were unfortunate enough to buy this, or have it given to you as a gift, do yourself a favor now: put this one the shelf right beside that other pop-pseudo-psychology piece of shit Michelle Remembers. Leave them both within spitting distance, and leave room next to them for anything written by "Dr." Fool. Do not open any of them, ever. (less)
flag42 likes · Like · see review



Nov 28, 2009Juliane Roell rated it it was amazing · review of another edition
Shelves: love, psychology, relationships, spirituality

Probably the most important book on love, psychological and spiritual development that I have ever read. 

Clear, straightforward, concise, very accessible. 
Don't be put off by the criticism of the numerous references to "God" and "grace" in the later chapters: I found them useful and "open" (in the sense that "God" might be substituted by "universe", "energy", "oneness" or whatever you might want to call it. 

There is no need to believe in a deity.) If you do find the reference to concepts of oneness or "God" problematic, just read the first parts and leave the rest for another time. It's well worth it. (less)
flag33 likes · Like · 5 comments · see review



May 11, 2007Jonathan Ridenour rated it it was amazing · review of another edition
Recommends it for: anyone
Shelves: psychology, spirituality
This book is by now a classic in the field of psychology. Yet, it's written for a mainstream audience and goes through some of the basic tenets of psychological theory (e.g. attachment, individuation, boundaries, delayed gratification) but does so through the lense of spiritual growth. Peck is an excellent writer and fine therapist who is sensitive to the issues of spirituality. The case examples and stories in the book really bring his concepts and ideas together. This is a book that I would recommend to therapy clients who are wanting to understand how their religious beliefs are inline with the goals of psychotherapy. (less)
flag28 likes · Like · comment · see review



Feb 16, 2008Cole rated it did not like it
I initially picked up this book because I was told that this author was the inspiration for a women's retreat I went to a couple years ago. 
However, I found no connection to the theme of the retreat and this book.

Initially I found Peck's theories on discipline appealing. He promoted fundamental ideas of Buddhism, such as life is suffering and only through acceptance of that suffering can we truly live and be free of it. He believes that the pursuit of the truth regardless of the pain involved is fundamental to mental health, and that only through valuing ourselves can we value life and love those around us.

However, while reading examples of cases that Peck has worked on in psychotherapy I felt that his confidence in his prognosis's and what he thought his clients ought to do was rather pretentious. 

Furthermore as I read I got the suspicion that Peck was rather homophobic or at least that he thought homosexuality was a sign of poor mental health. 

First of all, in all his discussions on love and relationships not once does he relate his theories in the context of a homosexual relationship. 
Second he uses examples of actions that his clients took to move toward better mental health including an example of a young homosexual boy summoning the strength to ask a girl out. I was starting to really dislike this author at this point, but it was the next few pages that killed it for me.

Halfway through the book where Peck is saying that love is discipline, he thought it appropriate to use slavery as a metaphor. He states,

"While one should not be slave to one's feelings, self discipline does not mean the squashing of one's feelings into nonexistence. I frequently tell my patients that their feelings are their slaves and that the art of self discipline is like the art of slaving owning"

I can't believe he refers to slave owning as an "art". He continues,

"First of all, one's feelings are the source of one's energy; they provide the horsepower, or slave power, that makes it possible for us to accomplish the task of living. Since they work for us, we should treat them with respect."

It gets worse,

" One type of slave-owner does not discipline his slaves, gives them no structure, sets them no limits, provides them with no direction and does not make it clear whose the boss. What happens, of course, is that in due time his slaves stop working and begin moving into the mansion, raiding the liquor cabinet and breaking the furniture, and soon the slave owner finds he is the slave of his slaves"

Scott Peck author...phycologist...homophobe....racist.....got it. 
I'm done with this book! (less)
flag22 likes · Like · 8 comments · see review



Aug 21, 2007Jamie rated it it was amazing
Shelves: spiritualandpsych-read
A very insightful book authored by a psychologist/psychiatrist who reveals the secrets to fulfilling, healthy, meaningful and lasting relationships. It really makes you see yourself and others in a different light, as well as words and concepts we think we understand. His hallmark argument is that we so often view love as a noun instead of a verb... as something that just happens to us or doesn't happen to us, instead of an ongoing task we must work at...that work, that action-is love. In fact, something I clearly remember is his point that when people feel as though they've "fallen out of love", it is then that the opportunity for true love to grow is at its greatest. Not at all written in a preachy, self-help sort of way. It's very interesting, full of a lot of great anecdotes. (less)
flag21 likes · Like · 2 comments · see review



Sep 27, 2008Mike rated it did not like it
This book starts out extremely engaging and helpful in nature - worthy of four or five stars. But midway through Peck reveals his psychology of teaching his patients and readers to become like God. 

While I'm certain he means no malice in this objective, he seems ignorant of negative psychological aspects of this philosophy. Indeed, the book "Toxic Faith" cites "You can become God" as one of the twenty-one Toxic Beliefs of a Toxic Faith (p.98). Having observed the deleterious effect of this belief among the Mormon population I find Peck's thesis professionally reckless regardless of the popularity of his message. (less)
flag20 likes · Like · 2 comments · see review


Hal J Sandbach
5성급 중 2.0 Interesting, but he lost me with his ideas about god
2018년 1월 20일에 영국에서 리뷰됨
아마존에서 구매
This book was recommended to me, and I found the first half largely interesting. Peck's long history as a therapist enables him to recount very interesting case studies, and these are definitely the strongest aspects of this book. However, when he diver about the collective subconscious, visions of the future and the idea that god is manifest via an individual's subconscious, I'm afraid he lost my trust. Modern neuroscience has enabled a lot of progress to be made regarding how our brains and central nervous system work , and this book, in my opinion, suffers from being written before such advances.

BUT I also think that Peck's overall message is a valid one - we grow by exhibiting real, deep love for ourselves and others. And there's always room for some more love.
한 고객이 이것이 도움이 되었다고 생각합니다.





2018/03/24

MfL reflection: Julie Webb | Quaker Learning Australia



MfL reflection: Julie Webb | Quaker Learning Australia



MfL reflection: Julie Webb
Posted on July 1, 2011 by admin

My Experience of Meeting for Learning

My Experience of Meeting for Learning came at the end of a ten-year psychological journey. It was a time to recognize and celebrate that journey and embark on a different one. It was a change from looking inward (a period of intense introspection) to looking outward from a new place.

Meeting for Learning helped secure the foundations for this new journey, through the intense period of the two retreats, my support group and the projects which developed in the “gap” year.

The first retreat focused on the inner spiritual journey. I thought that was a good start because looking inward was what I had been doing in therapy for so many years! But Meeting for Learning is not therapy and it helped me to develop a sense my place in the world and to build mutual relationships without over-dependence.

The week-long retreats consisted of a mix of structured time (in large or small groups, or alone), free time (alone or with others) and a 36-hour silent retreat. I spent much of my free time in a small meeting room, where the sun streamed in during the afternoons and I could look out on beautiful mature trees in the garden. I was interested in scrap-booking at the time and had brought supplies with me in case I was at a loose end. The room became a sacred space where I read, wrote, reflected and played with colours, shapes and textures in an abstract way. Others joined me, to knit, write, talk or sit in companionable silence. I learnt much about myself in that time. The listening groups, held every afternoon with three or four people, were often profound experiences. I have used the structure of this process many times since. As Quakers, we know the richness of silence in community in our Meetings for Worship. I had never experienced a silent retreat before and, along with a few other retreatants, approached it with some trepidation, although our reasons may have varied. The skilled and compassionate facilitators were available during the 36 hours if we needed to talk. For me, that was a safety mechanism which I used once. I have participated in a few shorter silent retreats since then, and have looked forward to them with quiet joy. After both Meeting for Learning retreats I returned home with a sense of stillness and calm, some of which I hoped to maintain as I went about my daily life. I have learnt to reduce unnecessary background noise and make time for activities which nourish my soul, whether it be walking in the bush or simply making a space in time away from all the “busyness”.

During the year between retreats I had regular contact with one of the facilitators and met monthly with a support group, as well as undertaking three projects. The projects are not as scary as they sound – they are not compulsory items with work to be handed in or examined! For me, ideas started developing during the first retreat and evolved during the year. My first project was deceptively simple, but a big step in my self-confidence. It started with wearing a scarf to Meeting for Worship. It has evolved into enabling me to enjoy beauty and express it in artistic ways. I love the term ‘practising artist” as it frees me to be an artist at my own level. The second project was to study Quaker Basics with the six retreatants from Adelaide. We met (and still meet) fortnightly for a shared meal followed by the study. The group developed very close bonds which helped us considerably in difficult times. My third project was what I called my “Quilt Project”. Apart from the practical aspects of this project, through talking about the symbolic aspects with others I was gradually able to refer to the painful parts of my past in a healthy and liberating way. After much thought, I asked three people from my local meeting to be part of my support group. One of these people later expressed the feeling that this process had enriched the whole Meeting and it is my hope that in supporting people to attend Meeting for Learning retreats, Meetings around Australia recognize this ripple effect.
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