2022/06/23

Meditation Guidance and Instructions for Effective Mind Training

Meditation Guidance and Instructions for Effective Mind Training

The Definitive “Underground” Meditation Guide: Secrets to Effective Mind Training

by Scott Jeffrey

Overview: This in-depth guide provides meditation guidance, meditation instructions, and loads of “underground” tips based on over two decades of research and experience in mind training.

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I was suffering from acute anxiety before and during exams in my sophomore year at the University of Michigan.

As a consequence, I was getting sick often and freezing during exams, lowering my performance.

My uncle shared with me a simple meditation practice he learned from a course. Using this method made a measurable difference in my health, performance, and well being.

And so, from then on, I began exploring and experimenting with different meditative practices and breathing techniques.

Perhaps you’ve never meditated before. Or, you’ve been meditating for years.

Maybe you dabble in meditation, or you tried it out and decided it wasn’t for you.

Regardless of your relationship to meditation (or lack thereof), I’m confident you’ll find tremendous value in today’s new guide.

In this comprehensive and unusual meditation instruction guide, I’m going to offer what I’ve learned from over 25 years of mind training.

Topics include:

  • The unconscious reasons most people resist meditation guidance
  • How to meditate even when you don’t want to
  • Powerful meditation instructions to make mind training more effective
  • Understanding the vital intersection between psychology and meditation

Let’s jump in …

Table of Contents

What is Meditation?

First, to get the most out of today’s guide, a beginner’s mind is essential.

Regardless of what you’ve read or heard about meditation instruction, if you approach this guide with the mindset of a beginner, you’ll derive significantly more benefit.

Okay, so what exactly is meditation?

Meditation is the art and skill of paying attention.

Right now, at this moment as you read this, a lot is happening:

  • A barrage of thoughts are flying through your mind (Should I keep reading this? Does this make sense? What am I going to eat next?)
  • Various sensations are pulsing through your physical body.
  • Waves of feelings are coursing through your emotional body.

And that’s just in your inner terrain. In your external environment, there are sounds, moving objects, invisible electromagnetic waves from the device you’re reading this on, and so much more.

But are you aware of all of this moment-to-moment information? Are you paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, sensations, and behavior in the here-and-now?

One function of meditation is to help you pay more attention to what’s happening inside of you and around you.

This comprehensive meditation guide is over 4,500 words. Click here to download a PDF version for future reference.

Who Can Benefit From Meditation?

Jon Kabat-Zinn, a pioneer in the field of Cognitive-Based Mindfulness Therapy, defines mindfulness as

“Paying attention in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally.”

From moment to moment, if you’re already fully present and aware of your thoughts, feelings, sensations, and environment without judgment about yourself, your experience, or others, then you don’t need to meditate.

Why? Because, if you’re already fully present and aware, you’re already meditating (even if you don’t call it “meditation”).

So do we need to practice meditation and receive meditation guidance? For most, the answer is yes.

Why? Because we live in environments of constant distraction and overstimulation.

Since Abraham Maslow’s initial research, we’re becoming increasingly aware that neurotic behavior is present in most of us. True positive mental health is scarce.

For the most part, we are unconscious of our behavior and what’s motivating our actions throughout the day.

For example, let’s say you have a habit of checking Facebook often.

Consciously, you might think it’s because you’re bored or because you don’t want to miss anything.

Behind this explanation, however, there are factors you’re unaware of motivating this behavior.

Perhaps you are unaware of your envy toward others.

You might not realize that you’re comparing yourself to every person, profile, and post you read.

Maybe you don’t feel how other people are looking down on you and how small a part of you feels as a consequence.

This kind of stuff is what’s below the surface. And these types of unpleasant feelings drive much of our impulsive behavior.

meditation instruction alan watts

And so, for those us who want to live our values, get to know our shadows, realize our vision, and become more conscious adults, mind training and meditation instruction, in some form, seems essential.

Paying attention is one of the most vital skills we can learn—something that touches every area of our existence.

16 Powerful Benefits of Meditation

Now, you’ve probably already read or heard about the scientific benefits of meditation.

Perhaps that’s why companies including Google, Apple, Nike, Target, General Mills, Procter and Gamble, and AOL Time Warner offer meditation training to their executives. Even sports franchises, like the Seattle Seahawks, have meditation programs.

I don’t want to invest a lot of time here, but for our intellectual minds that need “scientific validation” for the things we do, here’s a list of some of the benefits of meditation derived from current research:

  1. Lowers stress levels
  2. Enhances immune function
  3. Grows gray matter and makes your brain more plastic
  4. Provides better focus and helps regulate attention
  5. Improves regulation of emotions
  6. Heightens self-awareness
  7. Slows down your brainwave patterns
  8. Strengthens discipline and self-control
  9. Reduces anxiety
  10. Promotes better sleep
  11. Increases compassion
  12. Lowers blood pressure
  13. Reduces physical pain
  14. Enhances creativity (divergent thinking)
  15. Strengthens immune function
  16. Elevates mood

Okay, okay. We get it. Meditation is good for us.

But if meditation is so good for us, why doesn’t everyone meditate?

And even for those of us who have received meditation guidance and do practice it, why is there often still resistance?

(Resistance can take the form of being unwilling to follow meditation instruction or making little progress in your practice.)

Five Unspoken Psychological Reasons We Resist Meditation

There are both psychological and physical reasons why most people resist meditation guidance and derive limited benefits when they follow the instructions.

Let’s bring the psychological reasons to consciousness first.

The Lazy Part

The Message: “I don’t want to meditate.”

When the lazy archetype possesses us, you might think meditation would become more natural. After all, we’re just sitting there.

But meditation is an active process that requires physical and mental energy. And our lazy part mainly wants to be entertained so it can “check out” and escape reality.

When we run on autopilot, ignoring our emotional flow and energy expenditure, there are little reserves for meditation.

For this reason, most people find it easier to meditate in the morning as we tend to have more mental energy at the start of the day.

Regardless, a part of us (usually an adolescent part) fundamentally doesn’t want to sit still and pay attention.

Why? Remember the message from our teachers in school? “Sit down and pay attention.”

We revolted against this command back then, and this part of us still defies this directive now.

The Achiever

The Message: “Yes! I completed another 30-minute meditation.”

The brother of laziness is the Achiever. And it too creates an equal level of resistance to meditation.

The Achiever’s expression of resistance, however, is different. It might not want to sit still, perceiving meditation as a waste of time. (“I’m too busy to meditate. I have important things to do.”)

Or, if the Achiever believes meditation is essential for achievement (which is becoming a more common sentiment), it will put it on a list of things to do and then meditation to cross it off that list.

The Achiever will also push you to meditate longer than you should.

All of these unconscious drives create internal resistance and reduce the efficacy of your meditation practice.

Ego-Driven Practice

The Message: “I’m better than you because I meditate.”

There are now many social groups (so-called “spiritual” or “new age” communities) where meditation is considered “cool” or the “in-thing” to do.

Meditation can become a part of a person’s identity. (“I am a meditator.”)

And this identification leads to inflation. (“I’m superior to others because I meditate and they don’t.”)

Psychiatrist David R. Hawkins aptly called this a spiritual ego. These individuals feel special because they meditate.

Two unconscious motivations drive this ego identification: the basic needs for belonging and self-esteem. (Yes, from Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.)

And these unrecognized drivers lead us to a false, inflated view of ourselves, which detracts from our meditation and creates resistance to cultivating a meaningful practice.

Unconscious Shame

The Message: “You should meditate.”

The unconscious message behind so many instructional meditation guides and the entire field of transpersonal psychology (that introduced the West to the benefits of meditation in the first place) is that you should meditate.

“Meditation is a moral imperative,” the literature states.

Essentially, the meditation community shames us into meditating. And if we don’t acknowledge this shame, it will silently limit or destroy our practice.

Meditation, in fact, will become a form of self-punishment. (No wonder so many people resist meditation!)

So why aren’t you meditating? What’s wrong with you? Don’t you know better? It’s good for you.

Do you feel shame now?

Unconscious Hatred

The Message: “I love meditating.”

Truthfully, I’ve come to observe that most people who meditate hate meditation. But the existence of this hatred isn’t fully known to them.

Everyone would be neutral toward something like meditation as it’s a natural process. We develop an aversion to things because of how (and by whom) the ideas are introduced to us.

In the beginning, every child is curious and interested in learning.

Over time, however, children usually grow to hate education because (most of) their teachers are bored and hate teaching. (But the teachers’ attitude is also the result of a larger issue.)

The same is true here: meditation instructors hate meditating. And they transmit their unconscious hatred to their students.

You see, as you get to know your psyche, you begin to realize that there are parts of you that love and parts that hate. There’s an opposite within us to every thought and feeling we consciously experience. For better or worse, that’s the wiring of our psyche.

So any meditation instructor or author that is unconscious to the part of them that hates meditation is necessarily emitting these unowned feelings of resistance to their students. (Although I’m not a meditation instructor, yes, I too have a part that genuinely hates meditating.)

The Legend of Bodhidharma

Psychological resistance to meditation instruction can be tricky. Many forces in the unconscious secretly rule our behavior, making it difficult to pinpoint why we often sabotage ourselves.

But the physical barriers to meditation are much easier to address once we become aware of them.

bodhidharma meditation guidance

There’s an old legend of how the Shaolin monks learned kung fu.

Initially, the monks spent their days in seated meditation in their Shaolin temples in China.

In the fifth century, a Buddhist monk named Bodhidharma arrived from India and noticed the poor physical condition of these monks.

After reflecting on this problem in a cave, he returned to teach them a series of stretches, movements, and standing postures to help open and strengthen their bodies.

Bodhidharma explained that these exercises would support their meditative practices and their path to enlightenment.

Chinese kung fu was born.

The Physical Barriers to Meditation

Most people are in the same poor physical condition as these Shaolin monks were before Bodhidharma’s arrival.

Almost all human beings in the modern world are disconnected and disassociated from their bodies in alarming ways.

We live mostly sedentary lifestyles. And we mainly identify with our thoughts/mind, not our body. Our image-driven culture reinforces this dissociation.

Surprisingly, even for those of us who engage in physical fitness or strength training, the situation is the same. You can be physically fit and still disassociated from your body.

Most activities that take place in a gym, for example, actually work against our internal energy and physical alignment. They don’t foster a body-mind connection.

Also, because of the stored neurotic tension, we hold in our bodies—what psychoanalyst Wilhelm Reich called “body armor”—we have energetic blocks throughout our physical bodies.

And these blocks create tension (numbness or physical pain), causing us to hold our posture in unsupportive ways.

In my standing meditation guide, I mentioned the importance of shaking.

All mammals shake with tremors when they experience trauma.

Humans do too, but we learn as children to suppress this natural mechanism. Instead, our bodies hold the emotions of traumatic events from childhood (which happened regularly).

Trauma Release Exercises can help you release unconscious tension and open up your body. This process can measurably improve your ability to meditate.

A Missing Element in Most Meditation Instructions

If your body is tight and your muscles are rigid, you’ll struggle needlessly with sitting meditation.

Doing physical movements first will be far more productive and enjoyable.

Most meditation guidance is mind-oriented. You are told to take a seated position and focus on an object (like your breath).

However, if you focus on opening up your body first before sitting, meditation becomes a more natural process.

As an example, see OSHO’s Dynamic Meditation process. Although OSHO’s method might seem unconventional, I believe this type of physical process will be far more beneficial for most individuals (at least initially).

Six Basic Guidelines for Proper Sitting Posture

Proper posture reduces fatigue, increases energy, and eliminates unnecessary distractions caused by poor alignment.

For your reference, here are basic sitting posture guidelines:

Sit at the edge of a hard chair with your feet firmly on the floor, parallel to your shoulders. There are many different cross-legged postures for meditation, but unless your body and joints are fully open, these poses will likely cause pain and numbness. Sitting on a firm chair is the easiest way of getting into the correct structural position. (Needing back support when you sit is a sign of physical tension and skeletal misalignment.)

Straighten your lower back. The spine has a natural “s” curve. The goal is to straighten the spine as much as possible. When you’re at the edge of a chair, slightly roll your hips under your torso to straighten the lower portion of the spine.

meditation instructions spine s curve

Straighten the top of your spine. Slightly tuck your chin inward. Imagine your head being suspended comfortably from a string at the crown of your head extending into the sky. Allow your head to float above your spine.

Rest your hands comfortably on your thighs. If your hands are too close to your knees, they will pull your shoulders forward. If they are too close to your torso, they will force you to shrug your shoulders. (There are many different hand positions you can learn later that direct the body’s energy in various ways.)

Slightly round your shoulders around your back. Your chest should be slightly concave. You don’t want your chest sticking out. Be sure to relax your shoulders.

Keep your eyes slightly open with a soft gaze. Keeping your eyes fully open can lead to distractions and closing them altogether can lead to tiredness, fantasy, or oblivion. A soft gaze with eyes slightly closed provides the optimal conditions for meditation.

Play around with these guidelines until you find a comfortable position. And check your posture periodically whenever you sit.

The Goal of Meditation from a Psychological Perspective

Meditation is a method for building awareness. Awareness enables us to pay attention.

Through meditation, you can develop what’s sometimes called the Observer Self or Witness. The Observer is neutral. It simply observes. (This observing mind is a primary attribute of the Magician archetype.)

Meditation creates a space between the experiencer and the Observer Self. And this space is essential for anyone committed to their personal development.

The absence of this space means that we’re unconscious of many of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Unconsciousness is the starting point of everyone’s process of individuation toward adulthood.

And it’s for this reason that many thought leaders like psychologist Daniel Goleman promote meditation to business leaders. Goleman’s research illuminates that outperforming leaders have higher emotional intelligence than their peers (not higher cognition).

Mind training can be a powerful way to build emotional intelligence or what’s aptly called self-leadership.

Where Meditation and Psychology Meet

When Carl Jung was introduced to Eastern philosophy in the 1930s, he found it enchanting and immediately began drawing parallels between their systems and his ideas. (See The Secret of the Golden Flower.)

But Jung had limited and incomplete translations of these Eastern texts. And this lack of information led him to believe that Eastern meditative practices were just for Easterners and Western practices (like psychoanalysis) were for the Western psyche.

Jung was mistaken. The East had developed their psychology thousands of years before the West. And meditation was a cornerstone of their practices.

Doing shadow work, for example, without a calm, centered, introspective mind is untenable. How would one develop such a calm-abiding mind without a method?

This lack of introspection has been a fundamental problem in psychology since the birth of psychoanalysis over a century ago.

Without a self-reflective mind, a psychologist (and layperson alike) lacks a foundation to observe oneself accurately.

Certainly, meditation and psychological development go hand in hand, which is why mind training is an important topic for anyone committed to actualizing their higher potential.

A One-Minute Meditation Guidance

There are many different kinds of meditation instruction. Here, for those interested, is a simple mindfulness meditation you can try right now. (Remember to maintain a beginner’s mind.)

The idea is to focus your attention on one particular “object.” That object can be your breath, a part of your body, a repeated sound (mantra), physical sensations, your thoughts, or awareness itself.

The object of focus isn’t what’s important; maintaining your attention on that object is.

We’ll use the breath for now.

Start by turning your attention to your breath. Notice how your body naturally breathes—inhale, exhale.

Without attempting to control your breathing, witness your body breathing itself.

When you notice your attention wander, bring your awareness back to your breath.

Mindfulness meditation is the process of catching yourself in a mindless state and returning your attention to a mindful state.

Notice how it feels to breathe. Focus your attention on the feeling of breathing.

You can focus your attention on the sensation of the air passing through your nasal passage or the air entering your lungs.

End this meditation after a minute or two.

14 Underground Meditation Guidance Tips to Troubleshoot and Build Momentum

Now, if you’ve already experimented with mind training, here are valuable meditation instructions to improve your practice.

Meditation Guidance Tip #1: Stand Before You Sit

Even though I began practicing various forms of meditation 25 years ago, it wasn’t until I was introduced to Qigong about seven years ago that I began to gain deeper insights into meditation.

Through practicing qigong and various internal martial arts, I began developing body awareness, becoming conscious of structural alignment and the movement of energy within the body.

In particular, the standing meditation called Zhan Zhuang was and continues to be the most powerful and practical of these practices for me. And I would recommend it to anyone.

If you learn how to stand in the proper alignment first, sitting meditation becomes infinitely more accessible.

meditation guidance instructions standing

Meditation Guidance Tip #2: Walk Before You Stand

One of the main obstacles to personal mastery is our cultural obsession with moving fast.

If you’re feeling edgy, go for a walk instead of sitting or standing.

Walking meditation is especially practical during the day when the mind is highly active.

Become aware of your pace, as it will often mirror the speed of your thoughts.

By placing awareness on your pace, your cadence will eventually slow down, and with it, your mind will become more still.

Meditation Guidance Tip #3: Sit for Shorter Amounts of Time

Instead of trying to meditate for longer, stop your practice earlier.

If you leave your meditation practice wanting more, you’ll return to it again and again.

Even sit or stand for only 30 seconds to a minute.

Meditation Guidance Tip #4: Stop Trying to Meditate

The Achiever part in us is always trying. Trying creates tension.

It takes energy to get into the correct posture, but then you have to let go of this effort too.

Meditation Guidance Tip #5: Meditate at “Extreme” Times

Try meditating as early as you can in the morning or late at night.

From 11 pm to 6 am is the period most conducive to falling into a meditative state.

In Taoist practices, they call midnight the height of yin (stillness) while midday is the peak of yang (activity).

If you wake up in the middle of the night, instead of checking your phone and exposing your brain to blue light, meditate.

Meditation Guidance Tip #6: Watch Your Parts

If you get frustrated, watch the frustrated part.

If you get sleepy, watch the lazy part. (Or go to sleep.)

If you find yourself wanting something, watch the part that desires.

If you catch yourself thinking about a problem, watch the analytical part.

We have many parts or archetypes within our psyche. But we are not these parts.

When we observe these parts, we differentiate ourselves from them. This “space” enables us to stay neutral and aware.

Meditation Guidance Tip #7: Pay Attention to Your Behavior After Meditation

Do you jump right into your next activity? Or do you continue to move slowly, consciously, and deliberately? Just observe.

And pay attention to how you feel and perform throughout the day.

Do you notice less emotional reactivity? Are you staying any calmer in stressful situations? Are you more focused at work? Are you more aware of your internal dialogue?

Not paying attention to changes in your daily experience is a subtle form of internal resistance to meditation.

Meditation Guidance Tip #8: Meditate on an Empty Stomach

Avoid eating before you meditate.

Even if you don’t feel your body’s energy yet, a lot is happening internally all the time.

Food blocks the body’s energy and, as a consequence, it will disrupt your meditation practice.

Meditation Guidance Tip #9: Sit in a Technology-Free Environment

Whenever possible, meditate in an area free from technology.

The more sensitive you become to your body’s subtle energy, the more aware you become of the effects electromagnetic frequencies have on your biofield. Hint: it’s highly disruptive.

If you’re going to meditate in the morning, when possible, do so before touching any technology including your mobile phone.

Meditation Guidance Tip #10: Keep Experimenting

Test different methods for yourself until you find something that works for you.

Make your meditative practice something that’s practical, something that relaxes you and leaves you feeling refreshed.

Turning meditation into a chore fosters aversion. Deriving physical, mental, and emotional benefits from meditation will drive you toward it.

Meditation Guidance Tip #11: Tune Your Breathe

Our thoughts are what keep us from being in the present moment. There’s a direct link between the frequency of our thoughts and our heartbeats.

The quicker the heart beats, the faster our thoughts race (and the more neurotic we behave).

While you can’t slow down your heart rate directly, you can do so indirectly through the breath.

Slow your breathing by observing it. By doing so, you will quiet your mind. (See the guided meditation from Alan Watts below.)

Meditation Guidance Tip #12: Be Aware of Self-Deception

It’s all too easy to fool yourself with your meditation practice, convincing yourself that you’re making progress when you’re not.

I did this for many years. I convinced myself I was becoming “more spiritually evolved,” when I was just checking out on a couch every morning.

American Buddhist meditation teacher Pema Chodron confesses that she would “check out” during her compassion meditation training. She did this for ten years even though she was considered to be an “expert” in her community.

The mind’s capacity for self-deception is infinite.

Meditation Guidance Tip #13: Observe Nature Instead of “Meditating”

Because humans transmit meditation instruction from mind to mind, we tend to complicate what’s, in truth, a natural and straightforward process.

Whenever possible, go for a walk and observe nature. Stare at a tree, plants, the grass, or the sky.

If you can become absorbed in nature as a healthy child can without mental instruction, you don’t need to meditate.

Meditation Guidance Tip #14: And Finally, Lighten Up …

Finally, be kind and gentle with yourself. Seriousness and frustration create tension. High expectations will detract from your meditation practice and give you an excuse to quit in the future.

The more light and free you feel when you meditate, the more value you’ll derive from your practice.

For a funny take on the modern meditation experience, watch this short video by comedian JP Sears.

Cultivate a Living Method, Not a Dead One

One last point I think is often overlooked in meditation guidance and instructions.

Ancient Taoist and Buddhist schools make a distinction between a “living method” and a “dead method.”

A living method is something that’s integrated into an individual’s daily life and way of being.

A dead method is something that’s performed mechanically as an automatic routine.

A Chan Buddhist proverb states:

“Study the living word, not the dead word.”

For most of us, meditation becomes a dead method. (For many years, it was for me.)

Meditation becomes something people do in the morning or evening.

And this practice is separate from the rest of their lives and how they behave.

The real purpose of a meditation practice is to lay the foundation for cultivating a meditative state throughout the day.

Another Secret Omitted From Most Meditation Guidance

While many traditions get fixated on cultivating stillness, I’ve come to understand that the key to mind training is in combining stillness with movement.

I don’t mean physical movement, but rather the flow of energy within our bodies.

A common expression in the internal martial arts is “stillness in movement; movement in stillness.”

Qigong translates to energy skill. Learning how to move and sink the body’s energy is, in my opinion, the most important and commonly unaddressed aspect of meditation instruction and mind training.

I developed a simple, yet highly effective process for busy individuals interested in learning how to cultivate this skill.

This technique helps individuals access more of their higher potential on a consistent basis.

You can learn it within 30 minutes and use it at the beginning of your meditation sessions.

I call it The Mastery Method. View the details about it here.

A Powerful Guided Meditation

Finally, the video clip below is an excerpt from one of the lectures of philosopher and author Alan Watts. It’s the best guided meditation instruction I have found on the Internet.

Outside of D. T. Suzuki, Watts is mainly responsible for making Eastern philosophy (including meditation guidance) accessible to the West during the ‘50s and ‘60s.

He’s one of the most prolific writers I’ve ever read, and he was equally engaging in his lectures.

Notice how he brings you into the state of the Observer Self.

Recommended Books

Search Inside Yourself: The Unexpected Path to Achieving Success, Happiness (and World Peace)
by Chade-Meng Tan

Paperback | Kindle | Audiobook

Chade-Meng Tan was one of the first engineers at Google. Years later, he helped launch the Search Inside Yourself Institute, a leadership program within Google. The program is a synthesis of the work of psychologists Jon Kabat-Zinn and Daniel Goleman, neuroscientist Richard Davidson, and others.

At its core, Search Inside Yourself is a mind training program in emotional intelligence, the critical factor in outperforming leadership. Not only is this book an accessible, practical introduction to emotional intelligence with clear practices and methods, it’s also an excellent summary of dozens of other great personal development books rolled into one.

Still the Mind: An Introduction to Meditation
by Alan Watts

Paperback | Kindle | Audiobook

As I mentioned above, Watts is one of the most prolific writers I’ve read. All of his books are insightful and engaging. This book is a selection of excerpts from Watt’s lectures compiled by his son.

qigong way of energy

The Way of Energy: Mastering the Chinese Art of Internal Strength with Chi Kung Exercise
by Lam Kam Chuen

Paperback

As I repeatedly mentioned in this guide, learning how to cultivate energy through standing meditation will make seated meditation infinitely easier.

The Way of Energy is an excellent guide filled with vivid illustrations and minimal text.

This comprehensive meditation guide is over 4,500 words. Click here to download a PDF version for future reference.

Read Next

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How to Breathe Like a Jedi to Improve Mental Clarity, Energy, Emotional Resilience, and Productivity

A Definitive Guide to the Best Organic Mattresses (Review)

Intrinsic Motivation Examples

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How to Breathe Properly: A Definitive Guide with Powerful Techniques

How to Breathe Properly: A Definitive Guide with Powerful Techniques

How to Breathe Like a Jedi to Increase Mental Clarity, Energy, and Emotional Resilience

by Scott Jeffrey

OVERVIEW: This breathwork guide breaks down the essential ingredients of how to breathe properly to reduce anxiety, improve your energy, enhance mental clarity, and strengthen emotional resilience.

______________

I was a very anxious teenager. In college, I was plagued with overwhelming stress during midterms and final exams.

I tormented myself with what-if scenarios: What if I freeze during the exam and totally blank out? What if that one topic that I can’t quite grasp is the central theme of the exam?

This stress led me to make unnecessary errors, lowering my overall test-taking performance. I made myself utterly miserable. I hated learning. Plus, the excessive emotional tension wrecked my physical health. In my freshman year alone, I made a dozen trips to the health service center.

Fortunately, in my sophomore year, I was introduced to a few breathing techniques. Using these techniques helped calm my mind when I began to feel overwhelmed by exam time.

The results were extraordinary. I became proficient in test-taking, but more than that, I found the remainder of my college education far more enjoyable.

For the last two decades, my interest in breathwork has continued. Here’s a summary of what I’ve learned thus far …

The Benefits of Proper Breathing

Breathing affects all of our bodily systems, feelings, and moods in profound ways.

In an age where most humans are in a constant state of anxiety—an over-activation of the sympathetic nervous system—proper breathing provides a healthy means of reducing anxiety, restlessness, and stress.

By activating the parasympathetic nervous system, proper breathing promotes inner calm and physical relaxation.

The brain uses up to three times as much oxygen as our muscles do.

Proper breathing increases the oxygen in our bloodstream, making more oxygen available to our brains. This improves brain function, which translates to more physical energy, mental clarity, and greater productivity.

By learning to direct your attention to your breath, you can condition yourself to shift out of stressful, depressed, and aggressive states and enter relaxed, calm, and resourceful mental states.

The short-term benefits are obvious: you become better equipped at handling difficult situations, managing conflicts, and maintaining focus while you work.

Because effective breathing improves your body’s response to stress, its long-term benefits include longevity and a higher quality of life.

Self-Test: Are You Breathing Correctly?

Here’s a quick test:

Place your left hand over your navel and your right hand over your chest.

Breathe normally (however you usually breathe without thinking about it).

Which hand(s) is moving? Left, right, or both?

If the hand over your chest is moving, you probably have a shallow breath. That is, you’re drawing insufficient oxygen when you breathe. This leads to fatigue and increases the chances of feeling anxiety.

If the hand over your navel is moving, you’re probably breathing properly.  This is called diaphragmatic breathing.

To breathe from your belly, you need to expand and contract your diaphragm, which provides more oxygen to your lungs.

If both hands are moving while you breathe, you probably have a combination of the two.

Why It’s Necessary to Learn How to Breathe Properly

From one perspective it seems somewhat silly: Why do you need to learn how to breathe properly? Don’t you do that involuntarily?

Breathing is both a voluntary and involuntary function.

Involuntary breathing is an automatic bodily process. Voluntary breathing occurs when you bring your awareness to the process of breathing.

Infants don’t yet have the cognitive capacity to breathe voluntarily. We enter this world breathing involuntarily. And as infants, we breathe beautifully. No lessons needed.

Ever watch a baby sleeping? His belly inflates like a balloon with every inhale. We are born breathing diaphragmatically.

So what happens?

Emotions—mostly negative emotions like fear. Science is just beginning to understand the effects emotions have on our brain and the autonomic nervous system.1

Children are containers for their parent’s emotions. Whatever they feel, their child absorbs.

And so slowly, infants begin to adopt their parent’s anxieties.

As soon as they do, they begin to breathe like their parents: shallow breaths, mostly from the chest.

It’s as if incorrect breathing is taught subconsciously, from generation to generation.

Four Elements of Breath Work

So “proper breathing” is really natural breathing. In learning how to breathe properly, you are consciously training yourself to re-learn what once came naturally to you.

Here are four elements that illustrate how to breathe properly:

  1. Breathe deeply
  2. Breathe steadily
  3. Breathe slowly
  4. Breathe quietly

Now let’s look at ways to improve each of these four elements.

How to Breathe Deeply

Breathing deeply means breathing with your belly instead of your chest.

Remember that chest breathing promotes anxiety and emotional imbalance; belly breathing promotes relaxation.

As you inhale, draw the air deep into your lower abdomen, imagining a balloon expanding in that region.

Exhale and allow the balloon to slowly and steadily deflate. Be sure not to force the air out of the balloon. Simply allow the air to release naturally. Relaxation comes mainly from the exhale, not the inhale.

To breathe with your diaphragm, simply place your awareness on your navel as you breathe.

Sometimes it’s also helpful to place one or both of your hands over your navel as we did in the experiment above. Observe your hand moving like a balloon as your stomach inflates on the inhale.

Again, avoid using any force. Simply observe the process of breathing with your lower abdomen.

breath work - diaphragmatic breathing

How to Breathe Steadily

Generally speaking, your breathing should be rhythmic. You want the time of your inhales to match the pace of your exhales.

Try starting with a count of three. At a comfortable pace, inhale for a count of two and exhale for a count of three.

Be sure that you’re not feeling any tension or force as you breathe.

If a three count is too little for you, raise it to five.

How to Breathe Slowly

Your goal is to make each inhale and exhale as long as possible without straining.

Most adults in a resting state breathe an average of 12 to 18 cycles per minute. This translates to a complete inhale and exhale cycle of three to five seconds.

Trained internal martial artists, in contrast, extend a single breath cycle to 15 seconds, comfortably completing only four cycles in a minute.

The fewer cycles per minute, the better. A slow breath cycle coincides with greater awareness, alertness, centeredness, and relaxation.

You can train your body to breathe at slower and slower rates.

Start by setting a timer for a minute and count how many cycles you complete. Try this a few times to establish a baseline. Record the results.

Then, periodically take conscious breaths at a three-count (count to three on the inhale and again on the exhale). Once the count becomes comfortable, move it to four, five, etc.

After 30 days, use a timer again and see if you have extended your average breath cycle.

How to Quiet Your Breath

As I began to spend more time observing my breathing, I noticed a relationship between my breathing patterns and my thoughts.

Coarse, erratic, and louder breathing coincides with racing thoughts, rumination, and various neurotic tendencies.

With slow, steady, deep, quiet breaths, I noticed my thought stream tends to recede into the background of my consciousness. Sometimes, the thoughts seem to stop altogether.

In addition to breathing slowly and steadily, you ideally shouldn’t hear air coming in or out of your nose or mouth.

To quiet your breath, do not force the air on your exhale and do not rush to draw the air in on the inhale.  That is, breathe naturally—without effort.

Proper body alignment also helps you further quiet your breath:

  • Imagine your head suspended above your spine with a golden cord extending from the crown of your head into the sky.
  • Gently tuck your chin.
  • Avoid slouching your shoulders or arching your lower back.
  • Keep both feet firmly on the ground.

To learn all the key elements of proper posture and alignment, see this guide.

Learn How to Breathe Properly … Fast

The key to adopting any new skill is to follow an effective method with as much awareness and focus as possible.

So for this exercise, place your full attention on the process of breathing.

You don’t need to invest a great deal of time to learn how to breathe properly. One conscious breath is worth more than 20 unconscious breaths.

The very process of observing your breath often quiets your mind. A quiet mind is less agitated by emotions and more receptive to learning.

Once you’ve retrained yourself to breathe properly, you will once again breathe correctly without conscious awareness.

Whenever you consciously breathe, notice how you feel. Observe any tingling or other sensations in your head or body.

See if you feel more relaxed and calmer than before you did the exercise. Paying attention to the effects of your practice provides the feedback necessary for effective learning.

Plus, you’ll notice the benefits when you breathe correctly, anchoring the positive experience in your subconscious. This will fuel your efforts.

If you don’t pay attention to the results you’re experiencing, you’ll find little reason to continue experimenting and practicing when the novelty wears off.

Two More Tips on How to Breathe Properly

First, inhale through your nose. Breathing with your nose gives you better control of the breath and warms the air when you inhale.

Inhaling with your nose is almost always advisable. However, there are breathing techniques, like the method illustrated below, that advises exhaling through the mouth.

Second, gently place your tongue on the palate where the back of your front teeth meets the roof of your mouth.

This is actually proper tongue posture. The tongue is supposed to remain against the palate most of the time—except when eating, drinking, and talking.

This will help you relax your jaw, enabling you to steady your breath.

The Natural Tranquilizer: 4-7-8 Breath

Now that you’ve tasted the effects of conscious breathing, perhaps you’d like to experiment with a different breathing technique.

This particular method is excellent to do when you want to relax, before bed, or before meditating. Dr. Andrew Weil calls it a “natural tranquilizer.”

  1. Sit with your back straight, head looking in front of you. Your tongue gently presses against the roof of your mouth. Close your mouth, not tightly but loosely.
  2. Inhale slowly, steadily, and deeply (into your belly) through your nose for a count of four. Your inhale should be steady and consistent for the entire four-count.
  3. Hold your breath for a count of seven.
  4. Exhale through your mouth, again slowly, calmly, and steadily, making a slight whoosh sound. Exhale for a count of eight. Be sure not to push the air out forcefully when you start to exhale.

This completes a single 4-7-8 breath. Repeat this cycle three more times to complete your first session.

For this particular technique, the duration you spend counting isn’t important; the ratio of time (4-7-8) apparently is. After a matter of weeks or months, you’ll be able to slow down your count or double it to an 8-14-16 count.

You may feel lightheaded when you first use this method, but this sensation will pass.

Weil recommends doing four cycles of the 4-7-8 breath twice a day, moving to eight cycles once you get comfortable with the method.

Recap: How to Breathe Properly

Now you know how to breathe properly:

  • Breathe consciously by placing your awareness on your breath.
  • Breathe slowly, extending the inhale and exhale over time.
  • Breathe steadily at a rhythmic pace by counting inhales and exhales.
  • Breathe quietly by not forcing the air in or out while maintaining proper posture.
  • Breathe deeply by placing your awareness on your lower belly.
  • Breathe mainly from your nose.
  • Allow the air to release on the exhale; never force it.
  • Keep your tongue gently pressed against your palate as you breathe.

Notice any sensations or shifts in your mental functioning during and after conscious breathing. This will reinforce your learning and fuel further practice.

When you want to focus on a project, steady your breath.

As you’re wrestling with a difficult decision, breathe naturally.

When you’re having trouble with a friend, family member, or colleague, tune your breath … again and again.

Bringing your body and mind back into balance doesn’t need to take hours. You can tune your breath and quiet your heart in a matter of minutes, if not seconds.

So take a deep breath and have an awesome day …

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