2023/02/04

John O'Donohue The dead are not distant or absent

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The dead are not distant or absent. They are alongside us. When we lose someone to death, we lose their physical image and presence, they slip out of visible form into invisible presence. This alteration of form is the reason we cannot see the dead. But because we cannot see them does not mean that they are not there.

Transfigured into eternal form, the dead cannot reverse the journey and even for one second re-enter their old form to linger with us a while. Though they cannot reappear, they continue to be near us and part of the healing of grief is the refinement of our hearts whereby we come to sense their loving nearness.

When we ourselves enter the eternal world and come to see our lives on earth in full view, we may be surprised at the immense assistance and support with which our departed loved ones have accompanied every moment of our lives. In their new, transfigured presence their compassion, understanding and love take on a divine depth, enabling them to become secret angels guiding and sheltering the unfolding of our destiny.
JOHN O'DONOHUE
Excerpt from his books, Beauty: The Invisible Embrace (US) / Divine Beauty (Europe)
Photo: © Ann Cahill
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2023/02/03

달라이라마와의 대담집 ‘용서’저자 빅터챈 서울에 - 불교신문

달라이라마와의 대담집 ‘용서’저자 빅터챈 서울에 - 불교신문:



달라이라마와의 대담집 ‘용서’저자 빅터챈 서울에

승인 2004.11.05



30여년전 인도 다람살라에서 발목까지 오는 검은 망토와 뒤로 묶은 말총머리, 희한하게 자란 염소수염 차림의 중국인 청년과 달라이라마는 처음 만났다. 

이후 이들은 인도에서 아일랜드까지 함께 명상과 강연회에 동행하며 친분을 쌓아왔다. 당시 물리학을 전공했던 청년학도는 이제 긴 머리가 짧아지고, 동양학 전공자가 돼 달라이라마와 함께 ‘용서’를 전파하기 위해 나섰다. 이들의 만남은 우리가 ‘적’이라고 부르는 모든 사람들 사이의 관계가 ‘용서’를 통해 그들이 다시 하나가 될 수 있음을 보여줬다. 지난달 30일 캐나다 브리티시 컬럼비아대 빅터 챈교수는 달라이라마와의 대담집 〈용서〉(오래된 미래)의 공동저자로 방한했다.

“달라이라마는 용서가 이기적인 행동일지도 모른다고 말씀하셨지요. 용서하는 사람은 만족을 얻고, 평화로운 마음을 얻게 되기 때문이지요. 용서는 자기 자신에게 베푸는 가장 큰 자비이자 사랑입니다.”

지난 2일 만난 챈 교수는 어려서부터 한자와 태극권 계통의 타이치를 배우며 불교권에서 자랐다. 대학을 졸업하고 자동차로 네델란드에서 출발해 아프가니스탄까지 여행을 하던 중 아프가니스탄에서 무장세력에게 납치됐다. “그 때 동행했던 뉴욕출신 여성이 달라이라마에게 보내는 소개장을 소지한 것이 인연이 돼 달라이라마를 처음 만났습니다.”

지난 주까지도 인도 뉴델리에서 달라이라마와 함께 한 그는 가장 가까이에서 달라이라마를 지켜보고 있다. 이번 출간된 〈용서〉도 달라이라마의 농담과 웃음 등 삶을 영화처럼 보여주고 ‘용서하라, 그래야만 행복해진다’는 핵심을 드러낸다는 점에서 일상과 같은 연장선상에 있다. 이 책에서 달라이라마는 오후불식을 어기고 비스킷을 먹기도 하는 모습 이면에, 지진 피해를 입은 대만인들을 위해 아낌없이 티베트인을 위한 기금을 돌려주며 나눔을 실천하고, 자비와 상호의존의 가르침을 설하고 있다.

<빅터첸과 류시화>

챈 교수와 달라이라마의 대화 한 구절. 챈 교수가 “당신을 처음 만났을 때 당신이 중국인을 미워하는가라는 질문이 가장 먼저 떠올랐습니다. 하지만 당신은 그들을 미워하지 않는다고 말했습니다. 그들을 진심으로 용서한다고 했습니다. 나는 당신의 관대함에 너무도 놀랐습니다”라고 하자 달라이라마는 “그것이 불교도의 수행입니다. 특별한 것이 아니라 대다수의 티베트 수행자들이 비슷합니다. 용서와 자비는 수행의 중요한 부분입니다”라고 말한다.

챈 교수는 라싸에서 중국인 관광객은 물론 4-5년 전부터는 중국인 순례객들이 늘고 있는 것도 큰 변화라고 지적했다. 그는 “사실 달라이라마의 인적교류는 티베트와 중국과의 관계 개선의 의도도 내포하고 있습니다. 달라이라마는 3년전부터 3차례에 걸쳐 사절단을 중국에 보내는 등 중국과의 관계를 낙관적으로 보고 있습니다”라고 말했다.

이번 첫 방한에서 그는 달라이라마의 ‘한국인에게 보내는 메시지’도 갖고 왔다. 달라이라마는 메시지를 통해 “한반도는 불행하고 슬프게도 남과 북으로 분단돼 있으며, 남한 내에서도 종교,믿음,이해의 차이에 따라 다툼이 존재하고 있는 것으로 알고 있습니다”라며 “그럴수록 용서의 실천이 중요하며, 그것이 인간애 가득한 사회를 만듭니다”라고 전했다. 챈 교수는 “달라이라마는 불교도들이 많은 한국에 관심이 많습니다. 지난 달에는 뉴델리에서 3일동안 200여명의 한국인들을 대상으로 특별법문도 했습니다”라고 덧붙였다.

챈 교수는 3일 광주 대원사 티베트 박물관에서의 강연 등 일정을 마친 뒤 5일 출국할 예정이다.

임나정 기자 muse724@ibulgyo.com

===








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The Book of Joy: Lama, Dalai, Tutu, Desmond, Abrams, Douglas Carlton: Amazon.com.au: Books

The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World : Lama, Dalai, Tutu, Desmond, Abrams, Douglas Carlton: Amazon.com.au: Books

The Book of Joy
By: Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu
Narrated by: Douglas Carlton Abrams, Francois Chau, Peter Francis James
Length: 10 hrs and 12 mins
Unabridged Audiobook
Release date: 17-03-2022
Language: English
Publisher: Penguin Audio
     4.8 out of 5 stars4.8 (51 ratings)
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The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World Paperback – Large Print, 20 September 2016
by Dalai Lama (Author), Desmond Tutu (Author), & 1 more
4.8 out of 5 stars 8,428 ratings

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An instant New York Times bestseller

Two spiritual giants. Five days. One timeless question.

Nobel Peace Prize Laureates His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu have survived more than fifty years of exile and the soul-crushing violence of oppression. Despite their hardships--or, as they would say, because of them--they are two of the most joyful people on the planet.

In April 2015, Archbishop Tutu traveled to the Dalai Lama's home in Dharamsala, India, to celebrate His Holiness's eightieth birthday and to create what they hoped would be a gift for others. They looked back on their long lives to answer a single burning question: How do we find joy in the face of life's inevitable suffering?

They traded intimate stories, teased each other continually, and shared their spiritual practices. By the end of a week filled with laughter and punctuated with tears, these two global heroes had stared into the abyss and despair of our time and revealed how to live a life brimming with joy.

This book offers us a rare opportunity to experience their astonishing and unprecendented week together, from the first embrace to the final good-bye.

We get to listen as they explore the Nature of True Joy and confront each of the Obstacles of Joy--from fear, stress, and anger to grief, illness, and death. They then offer us the Eight Pillars of Joy, which provide the foundation for lasting happiness. Throughout, they include stories, wisdom, and science. Finally, they share their daily Joy Practices that anchor their own emotional and spiritual lives.

The Archbishop has never claimed sainthood, and the Dalai Lama considers himself a simple monk. In this unique collaboration, they offer us the reflection of real lives filled with pain and turmoil in the midst of which they have been able to discover a level of peace, of courage, and of joy to which we can all aspire in our own lives.

544 pages

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About the Author
His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso, describes himself as a simple Buddhist monk. He is the spiritual leader of the Tibetan People and of Tibetan Buddhism. He was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1989 and the US Congressional Gold Medal in 2007. Born in 1935 to a poor farming family in northeastern Tibet he was recognized at the age of two as the reincarnation of his predecessor, the 13th Dalai Lama. He has been a passionate advocate for a secular universal approach to cultivating fundamental human values. For over three decades the Dalai Lama has maintained an ongoing conversation and collaboration with scientists from a wide range of disciplines, especially through the Mind and Life Institute, an organization that he co-founded. The Dalai Lama travels extensively, promoting kindness and compassion, interfaith understanding, respect for the environment, and, above all, world peace. He lives in exile in Dharamsala, India. For more information, please visit www.dalailama.com.

Desmond Mpilo Tutu, Archbishop Emeritus of Southern Africa, became a prominent leader in the crusade for justice and racial reconciliation in South Africa. He was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1984 and the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2009. In 1994, Tutu was appointed chair of South Africa's Truth and Reconciliation Commission by Nelson Mandela, where he pioneered a new way for countries to move forward after experiencing civil conflict and oppression. He was the founding chair of The Elders, a group of global leaders working together for peace and human rights. Archbishop Tutu is regarded as a leading moral voice and an icon of hope. Throughout his life, he has cared deeply about the needs of people around the world, teaching love and compassion for all. For more information please visit tutu.org.za.

Douglas Abrams is an author, editor, and literary agent. He is the founder and president of Idea Architects, a creative book and media agency helping visionaries to create a wiser, healthier, and more just world. Doug has worked with Desmond Tutu as his cowriter and editor for over a decade, and before founding his own literary agency, he was a senior editor at HarperCollins and also served for nine years as the religion editor at the University of California Press. He believes strongly in the power of books and media to catalyze the next stage of global evolutionary culture. He lives in Santa Cruz, California. For more information, please visit ideaarchitects.com and humanjourney.com.



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Lizzie
5.0 out of 5 stars Quite simply - A Joy to readReviewed in Australia 🇦🇺 on 13 January 2023
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What more can I say, such a joy to read of the friendship between these two beautiful human beings. Well done The Joy team.



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Evita Pronk
4.0 out of 5 stars Lovely and easy to readReviewed in Australia 🇦🇺 on 17 June 2018
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I have read it myself and gave it as a gift to a friend. It's a lovely easy to read book. Very accessible. It made me laugh out loud a couple times. What stuck to me the most is to be kind to yourself, kind to others and the story gives a very human / private view on both the Dalai Lama and Desmund Tutu. It describes among other things that they have insecurities, experienced hard times and that they don't take themselves too seriously.
The reason I gave it four stars instead of five is because I don't expect it to be a book I would read over and over again, discovering new insights. Which I do have with the book 'The art of happiness' (read it for the 7th time) from the Dalai Lama and Howard Cutler.
In conclusion I definitely recommend 'The book of joy' even if it is just for the cover and title. ;)

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Krystal
5.0 out of 5 stars Absolute wow! These two human beings are amazingReviewed in Australia 🇦🇺 on 18 August 2020
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Almost half way through with this book and wow! These two men are absolutely amazing, if you are someone who finds it hard to control your emotions this book just isn’t about joy its about how to handle life at your best so that your life is more filled with happiness & joy... must read and I am definitely not regretting getting the hard cover!!

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Happyhawk
5.0 out of 5 stars An exceptional gift for all seasons.Reviewed in Australia 🇦🇺 on 10 June 2020
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Always said reading in itself is a mediation. This book is just a delight, so strange to say but leading such busy life’s where we want more and feel isolated, we need guidance to get back to compassionate values and feel an innate sense of happiness. Surprise takeaway from the book, like the stoic meditations, just want to reread the regain the infectious joy of this book.



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ineke
5.0 out of 5 stars A joy and a treasureReviewed in Australia 🇦🇺 on 22 February 2020
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A winner for people of every persuasion, whether Buddhists, Christians, atheists. The book contains a multitude of pearls of wisdom, very often further illustrated by personal experiences. The friendship between the two main authors is clear and moving. In short: this book is truely a joy and a treasure.



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Veronica keatch
5.0 out of 5 stars Great bookReviewed in Australia 🇦🇺 on 29 January 2019
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Love this book read it at the right time helped me so much would say everyone should read this book I learnt so much from it what a lovely book from two best life time friends who know all about joy and what ot means was recommended this great book wished I known about it sooner cant tell everyone how it changes people's out look on life

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Helene Eliatamby
5.0 out of 5 stars BrilliantReviewed in Australia 🇦🇺 on 5 September 2020
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A beautiful book full of raw honesty and practical ways to practise the compassion, gratitude and generosity. A must read.



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isabelle
5.0 out of 5 stars Must readReviewed in Australia 🇦🇺 on 27 July 2020
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Happy with the book although received with a few finger marks :|



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J. A. Potter
5.0 out of 5 stars UpliftingReviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 22 April 2018
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Amazing book . Have always been a follower of the Dalai Lama but this book is one of the best as I was reading it whilst in a hospital waiting room whilst my husband was undergoing a cancer screening and the conversation between the Dalai Lama and Archbishop TuTu could still make me laugh would definitely recommend it really can lift your spirits and give you a different perspective on life.

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Mrs M J Edley
5.0 out of 5 stars Joy from possessions and buying new things is short livedReviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 13 March 2018
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A true testament to what matters in life. It matters not what religion, what creed, what background someone comes from. What matters is the ability that exists in us all to see beyond the shell to what's inside. Joy from possessions and buying new things is short lived. Happiness comes from within and from our ability to be compassionate and help others. On some levels this sounds idealistic but in the Western world, we live on the busy treadmill of life - we have such busy lives we forget about the simple things that make the world go round. I wish I could meet these two inspirational leaders. Their respect for civilisation and their love for each other is inspiring. I would thank them for their insights and simple messages... it's not hard. Respect each other and show compassion for each other. Learn to live together without hatred and prejudice. Idealistic - maybe but nevertheless within the realms of our reach.

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myddlewoman
2.0 out of 5 stars Tedious and lacking good editingReviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 1 June 2020
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The rave reviews are a surprise. I was expecting a moving, reflective and thought provoking read. However, it's tedious. The assumption seems to be that just writing up the conversations between these two friends will be enough. It isn't it is repetitive and somewhat underwhelming. You start to read about a situation in which they meet only to read through an uninspiring conversation and are left at the end of each scenario thinking what was the point of that?
The two men are clearly great friends but that isn't enough. I doubt the conversations of any great people if just recounted without editing would actually seem anything other than mundane.
A great disappointment.

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Joan Heath
5.0 out of 5 stars The natural way to a positive life of joy for yourself and others.Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 19 June 2019
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Although this book is written by two of the greatest religious leaders of our day, it is not about religion, it is about being human. They claim that humans naturally need connectedness and to live in harmony with each other; to accept ourselves as we are, but also to accept others. As Martin Luther King Jr said, 'We must learn to live together as sisters and brothers or we perish together as fools' and this book talks about how this can be done without being either political or religious, but by changing attitudes and striving for joy in our lives. An inspirational book

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starling
5.0 out of 5 stars what a joyful exampleReviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 24 December 2020
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No wonder we can't buy the book version, sold out, it is simply a delight. Easy to read, quietly demonstrating by the affection these two great men of very different traditions (religious, cultural, historical, geographical), have for each other and the stories they tell (both have suffered greatly in their lives, with their countrymen) a better way to live than most of us are able to think of for ourselves - or at least, me. They may be great but their example and explanations are good and clear enough for anyone to follow; and these days, when our official leaders tell lies, contradict themselves, break their promises, favour their friends, and so on so often that we begin to expect this, theirs is a wonderful encouragement to show us what can be done by every single human being, no matter what terrible circumstances may have to be endured.
It is not a religious tract or teaching, it is a happy conversation I feel privileged to overhear. Enjoy it.

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