2018/03/29

Brown. 1] Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead: Brené Brown: 9781592408412: Amazon.com: Books

Daring Greatly: 
Brené Brown

The #1 New York Times bestseller. 1 million copies sold!

From thought leader Dr. Brené Brown, a transformative new vision for the way we lead, love, work, parent, and educate that teaches us the power of vulnerability.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; . . . who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”—Theodore Roosevelt

Every day we experience the uncertainty, risks, and emotional exposure that define what it means to be vulnerable or to dare greatly. Based on twelve years of pioneering research, Dr. Brené Brown dispels the cultural myth that vulnerability is weakness and argues that it is, in truth, our most accurate measure of courage.

Brown explains how vulnerability is both the core of difficult emotions like fear, grief, and disappointment, and the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, empathy, innovation, and creativity. She writes: “When we shut ourselves off from vulnerability, we distance ourselves from the experiences that bring purpose and meaning to our lives.”

Daring Greatly is not about winning or losing. It’s about courage. In a world where “never enough” dominates and feeling afraid has become second nature, vulnerability is subversive. Uncomfortable. It’s even a little dangerous at times. And, without question, putting ourselves out there means there’s a far greater risk of getting criticized or feeling hurt. But when we step back and examine our lives, we will find that nothing is as uncomfortable, dangerous, and hurtful as standing on the outside of our lives looking in and wondering what it would be like if we had the courage to step into the arena—whether it’s a new relationship, an important meeting, the creative process, or a difficult family conversation. Daring Greatly is a practice and a powerful new vision for letting ourselves be seen.

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Review


“The brilliantly insightful Brené Brown draws upon extensive research and personal experience to explore the paradoxes of courage: we become strong by embracing vulnerability, we dare more greatly when we acknowledge our fear. I can’t stop thinking about this book.”
—Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project

"A wonderful book: urgent, essential and fun to read. I couldn't put it down, and it continues to resonate with me."
—Seth Godin, author of Linchpin

"In Daring Greatly, Brené Brown refers to herself as both a mapmaker and a traveler. In my book, that makes her a guide. And I believe the world needs more guides like her who are showing us a wiser way to our inner world. If you'd like to set your course on being more courageous and connected, engaged and resilient, leave the GPS at home. Daring Greatly is all the navigation you'll need."
—Maria Shriver

"Daring Greatly is an important book -- a timely warning about the danger of pursuing certainty and control above all. Brené Brown offers all of us a valuable guide to the real reward of vulnerability: Greater courage."
—Daniel Pink

"What I find remarkable about this book is the unique combination of solid research and kitchen table story-telling. Brené becomes such a real person in the book that you can actually hear her voice asking, "Have you dared greatly today?" The invitation in this book is clear: We must be larger than anxiety, fear, and shame if we want to speak, act, and show up. The world needs this book and Brené’s unique blend of warmth, humor and ass-kicking makes her the perfect person to inspire us to dare greatly."
—Harriet Lerner, Ph.D.
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"One of the tragic ironies of modern life is that so many people feel isolated from each other by the very feelings they have in common: including a fear of failure and a sense of not being enough. Brené Brown shines a bright light into these dark recesses of human emotion and reveals how these feelings can gnaw at fulfillment in education, at work and in the home. She shows too how they can be transformed to help us live more wholehearted lives of courage, engagement and purpose. Brené Brown writes as she speaks, with wisdom, wit, candor and a deep sense of humanity. If you're a student, teacher, parent, employer, employee or just alive and wanting to live more fully, you should read this book. I double dare you."
—Sir Ken Robinson
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"In an age of constant pressure to conform and pretend, Daring Greatly offers a compelling alternative: transform your life by being who you really are. Embrace the courage to be vulnerable. Dare to read this book!"
—Chris Guillebeau, author of The $100 Startup
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"Here's the essence of this book: Vulnerability is courage in you but inadequacy in me. Brené's book, weaving together research and Texan anecdote, shows you some paths forward. And don't for a moment think this is just for women. Men carry the burden of Being Strong And Never Weak, and we pay a heavy price for it. Daring Greatly can help us all."
—Michael Bungay Stanier, author of Do More Great Work
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"I deeply trust Brené Brown--her research, her intelligence, her integrity, and her personhood. So when she definitively lands on the one most important value we can cultivate for professional success, relationship health, parental joy, and courageous, passionate living...well, I sit up and take notice . . . even when that one most critical value turns out to be the risky act of being vulnerable. She dared greatly to write this book, and you will benefit greatly to read it and to put its razor-sharp wisdom into action in your own life and work."
—Elizabeth Lesser, Cofounder, Omega Institute, author of Broken Open


"A straightforward approach to revamping one's life from an expert on vulnerability."
—Kirkus Reviews

"Will draw readers in and have them considering what steps they would dare to take if shame and fear were not present."
—Publishers Weekly

"Offers good insights into how people don personal armor to shield themselves from vulnerability."
—The Wall Street Journal

"Brene's down-to-earth approach to vulnerability resonates with me."
—Katie Couric
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Some people flip houses. This book will flip your life.
ByHeather Safferon June 25, 2013

Last week I was sitting outside a coffee shop reading a book on my kindle when a youngish guy walked by carrying a coffee and a computer, looking for a place to sit.

Since all of the tables were occupied and he was looking a bit displaced, I offered him a seat at my table. Relieved, he sat down and expressed his gratitude. I promptly went back to my reading but I could feel his eyes boring into me as I anticipated the dreaded question.

"What are you reading?" he finally blurted.

Now I know this is neither a profound nor earth-shattering inquiry but there were two problems at hand here.

One, I'm terrible at summarizing books. Just awful. (Which you're about to discover.) There's just something about the vast amount of information that I'm pressured to wrap into one or two sentences that completely overwhelms and paralyzes me.

And two, I was reading a book about shame and vulnerability. Which ironically, I was ashamed to admit for fear of being vulnerable. Clearly, I had just started reading the book.

Part of me was tempted to lie to youngish guy by replying, "oh, it's just some silly novel."

But then it occurred to me how shameful it would be to lie about reading a book about shame and vulnerability instead of just being vulnerable. Besides, as I'm sure it's obvious--I could use the practice.

"I'm reading Daring Greatly by Brené Brown. It's about shame and vulnerability and how shame can truly only dissipate by allowing yourself to be vulnerable", I quickly blurted.

Allowing myself to be vulnerable led Patrick and I into a conversation for the next hour. Patrick, if you're reading this, c'était une joie pour vous rencontrer. (If this is wrong I blame Google translate.)

This moment of unabashed vulnerability with Patrick was the beginning of a major shift in my life. And I have Daring Greatly to thank for that.*

I've always been one to be honest and open but Brene Brown's writing in Daring Greatly takes openness to another level.

She reinforces what I've known all along but been afraid of admitting--that vulnerability leads to happiness. Or as Brown calls it, "wholeheartedness".
And I, and maybe you too, could damn well use some wholeheartedness in my life.

We're living in a culture of `never enough'. I'm certainly feeling it. Are you? I never work hard enough, I don't help others enough, I'm not successful enough, I don't eat healthy enough... and on and on.

These thoughts of `never enough' turn into feelings of shame and fear. How do we combat shame and fear? By being vulnerable and expressing gratitude, according to Brené Brown. And now, according to me.

Following Brene's advice and expertise garnered through her research and life stories, truly does work.

It was the reading of Daring Greatly that prompted me to finally divulge my long kept secret of my history with an eating disorder; which wound up being my highest trafficked blog post of all time. As Brown explains, we're drawn to other's vulnerability but repelled by our own.

Are you living with shame? Do you always feel an underlying itch of `never enough'? Do you find yourself disconnecting from people you love? If any of these questions ring true then I hope you'll read this book for yourself. Even if they don't ring true, read this book. It truly is a game changer.

Buy It Right. This. Minute. Sit your butt down for an hour, and start reading. I promise you won't want to stop. I promise.Then come back to me and practice your newfound vulnerability. I'll appreciate and love every drop of the real you. And eventually, you will too. That's the truth.

[...]
*If you'll note the vulnerability here in that I'm attempting to review a book, despite my fear of reviewing books.

26 comments| 2,385 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?
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5.0 out of 5 stars
This book did an amazing job of helping me understand the difference between sharing ...
ByVirginia123on May 23, 2017

This book was life changing for me. I'd already read Gifts of Imperfection, and have been struggling with having healthy boundaries with a psychologically unhealthy parent.

This book did an amazing job of helping me understand the difference between sharing vulnerability in ways that lead to connection and over-sharing in ways intended to manipulate an audience - and why that oversharing has always led to disconnection.

For the men out there - I'd recommend starting with this book (rather than gifts of imperfection) as Brown broadens her research to include men here. And I really liked the way this book works through so many interesting topics and challenging scenarios.

One of my favorite parts is on professing love vs practicing love (below). It made me appreciate that when someone tells me they love me, then treats me badly, that it isn't really love at all.

<i>During a recent radio interview about my research, the hosts (my friends Ian and Margery) asked me, “Can you love someone and cheat on them or treat them poorly?”

I didn’t have much time, so I gave the best answer I could based on my work: “I don’t know if you can love someone and betray them or be cruel to them, but I do know that when you betray someone or behave in an unkind way toward them, you are not practicing love. And, for me, I don’t just want someone who says they love me, I want someone who practices that love for me every day.”</i>
Comment| 30 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?

5.0 out of 5 stars
A life changer
ByBuddaboy182on February 13, 2016

I admit I had never heard of Dr. Brene Brown until I saw her on the Oprah Winfrey Network about a month ago. I was so intrigued by her that I decided to buy "Daring Greatly," and I'm so thankful I did. I've struggled so much with the issues that she discusses here, but I was never able to understand and verbalize the root causes until I read this book. My quality of life has changed dramatically in a short period of time, so much so that 
I'm now reading "Rising Strong," and 
I'll soon start "The Gift of Imperfection." 
No doubt about it: I will be a lifelong fan and eternally grateful.
Comment| 8 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?

5.0 out of 5 star
My Saving Grace from Toxic Shame
ByAmazon Customeron September 1, 2017

Growing up in a household where obedience is won through criticism, belittling and shaming, it's little wonder I reached adult hood in a poor state of mind and body. With no self-esteem or confidence and full of toxic shame, I wasn't happy with myself in any shape or form. I truly disliked myself, and felt as if everyone else did too. I was a HUGE perfectionist, and very, very hard on myself.

Though I am still a work in progress (I'm 22 currently), I can look back and see how far I've come, and it is all thanks to Brene Brown: her books, her Ted talks, her program, etc. This is my favorite book of hers, though.

If you don't feel worthy of love and belonging, if you feel lesser than everyone else; if you can't forgive yourself for your mistakes or your terrible moments or the stupid things you've done in life; if you can't accept your humanness; if you can't show your face or eyes to others due to shame; if you can't own up to your mistakes for fear of judgement; if you compare yourself to others; if you constantly strive to prove yourself to others but feel as if you never measure up; then this book is for you.

I have read it through and then listened to the whole book about 3 times. I need to be reminded again and again what it means to Dare Greatly, as I have lived most of my life hiding and trying to protect myself. Every time I hear the words in this book, I can't help but say "Yes! Yes! Yes!" over and over again. It all makes such simple sense. I also cannot hear Brene's words - in book or talks - without crying, because they are some of the most beautiful words to my ears there ever was.

We are not in this alone, and our worth is not something that can be measured.

I am planning to get some of her books this Christmas for my family, who all badly need to hear her message and don't bother to look her up despite my urging. I will also have all her books on my shelf someday when I have kids, for them to all read as they are growing up, so that they don't grow up in fear, with low self-worth and full of shame, and to also give them the courage to dare greatly. (Of course I will parent differently than I was raised, and that will make a difference. ;) )

I would give this book a 10 star rating if I could.
1 comment| 3 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?

5.0 out of 5 star
Byroflol123on June 6, 2017

Great book! I love Brene Brown and all of her research! It's very interesting to see how shame runs through cultures, homes, friendships, work environments, personal talk, etc. It's incredibly eye opening to acknowledge those things within yourself because once you do, you can't look at a certain part of life the same way when you see that shame was running the show the whole time.
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3.0 out of 5 star
Sounds like her other books
ByThylaneon April 6, 2015

I love Brene Brown. But I got bored about halfway through this book. It sounds like her other books; just with different labels placed on our "issues". Then it was like she ran out of things to say and tried to stretch the page quota out for her publisher. She launched into something about supporting our troops and it felt like she was grasping for evidence to support her "new" way of looking at vulnerability.
Comment| 8 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?

5.0 out of 5 starA great reminder to act from a place of love and to keep going despite negative voices
ByDB Colorson April 15, 2016

Brene Brown is wonderful at giving insights about what it means to have courage and put your ideas/ yourself out there in a critical world. The books helps you realize that you are not alone in your fears, but many people have them but leave them unexpressed to those around them. It gives you perspective on refraining from public judgment of others since you may not know the full context motivating their actions. It is one thing to give and receive critical feedback for improvement and another solely for judgement without benefit to another or society. Brene is wonderful again in sharing stories, as well as, research into finding our internal moral and creative compass so we may give voice in daring greatly in society for ourselves and others.
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5.0 out of 5 stars...
I wanted to read anything I could from this brilliant researcher. She's completely down to earth and shares ...
Bypilatesgirlsocalon April 24, 2016

Having discovered Brene through my Life Coach and watching her Ted Talk that made her famous - I knew I wanted to read anything I could from this brilliant researcher. She's completely down to earth and shares her own stories with that of her research subjects to bring the message home about shame and vulnerability. I'm a Life Coach and have been using Brene's research / findings to assist my own clients in identifying what's standing in their way of being the best version of themselves - and time and time again - it can be traced back to SHAME.... I never realized how powerful this is - as well as the inability to be vulnerable that rules us. Particularly taken with the study of the men and vulnerability - seriously eye opening. A MUST READ.
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5.0 out of 5 stars
This book will change your world.
ByBrockon January 30, 2016

Thank you, Brene, for your research and for sharing your findings with the world. This book is important and this book is for everyone.

She interviewed people from a different angle than our culture is used to. This book is full of ideas I'd never thought of before, but are so relatable and so right. Her main approach is that success and perfection are not our goal- our goal is to live whole-heartedly. To dare greatly. To feel worthiness and human connection. To lean into the hard, understanding that it happens. And it's okay that hard happens. Because if we can be open to discomfort, that's how we'll be open to joy too.

It's impossible to summarize the brilliance of this book in a review. Go read it.
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5.0 out of 5 stars
I loved this book
ByAmazon Customeron October 24, 2017

I loved this book!
If you want to step up in some area of your life, or have decided you do want to be seen, or if you are facing a challenge, Brene Brown's book about having the courage to be vulnerable and real will help you! So many people appear strong and sorted but actually it's not true. Read this book and you too will be able to Dare Greatly. I have just stepped up in an area of my life that I found so difficult ( the fear of rejection was huge) and I am so happy to have had the courage to do that from reading this book.

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