2018/08/16

알라딘: 우린 다르게 살기로 했다 - 혼자는 외롭고 함께는 괴로운 사람들을 위한 마을공동체 탐사기



알라딘: 우린 다르게 살기로 했다 - 혼자는 외롭고 함께는 괴로운 사람들을 위한 마을

조현 (지은이) | 휴(休) | 2018-08-17








정가 20,000원
판매가 18,000원 (10%, 2,000원 할인) | 

반양장본 | 432쪽 | 150*210mm | 605g | ISBN : 9791160401776
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동서양 문화는 물론 인도와 이집트, 이스라엘과 티베트, 중국과 우리나라의 오지 등을 순례하며 ‘정신의 원형’을 탐구해온 종교전문기자 조현이 자본주의 방식과 다르게 살아가는 사람들의 행복한 삶과 그 비결을 담아낸 책으로 돌아왔다.

<우린 다르게 살기로 했다>는 혼자는 외롭고 더불어 살아가자니 괴로운 사람들에게 함께하는 삶의 가치와 행복의 의미를 되짚어보게 한다. 저자는 1999년 대안문명 시리즈로 영국 브루더호프공동체를 신문에 소개하면서부터 최근까지 대안적 삶을 살아가기 위해 만든 마을과 공동체를 탐사 취재해왔다. 특히 이 책을 집필하려고 최근 3년간 국내 마을과 공동체를 재방문하여 함께 어울려 살아보았고, 외국 언론들조차도 접근이 어려운 해외 공동체만을 찾아 순례했다.

농사도 짓고, 밥도 해 먹고, 공동체 일자리에서 직접 일도 해보면서 그들의 행복감은 과연 어디에서 온 것인지 그 비결을 하나하나 파헤쳤다. 재산과 학력 수준, 능력, 체력, 사회성이 달라도, 서로 의지하고 돌보고 협조하고 힘이 되어주고 위로해주고 사랑해주면서 행복해지고 강해질 수 있다는 것을 그들의 삶을 통해 보여준다. 남녀노소 3백여 명에 이르는 사람들과의 깊이 있는 인터뷰로 담아낸 생생한 사례와 명쾌한 분석, 시원한 통찰은 힘겨운 시대를 견뎌내는 우리들에게 삶의 가치와 방향, 행복의 의미를 다시 한 번 생각해보게 한다.





프롤로그_왜 지금 마을과 공동체를 이야기하는가

| 1부 | 함께하니 인생이 바뀌었다

1. 함께 어울려 사는 재미
헌 탁구대 하나의 기적
해외여행보다 더 재미있는 마을살이
같이 살면서도 프라이버시를 보장하는 공유 주택

2. 엄마를 해방시킨 품앗이 육아
아이 보느니 힘든 직장인이 낫다
독박 육아가 없는 곳
공동 육아를 하면서부터 내 삶이 생겼다

3. 아이도 어른도 모두 행복한 공동체 교육
실제 삶에 별 도움이 안 되는 교육의 추억
온 마을이 아이들을 키운다
삶과 무관한 무기력한 교육이여, 안녕!

4. 주경야독, 문화가 살아 숨 쉬는 시골살이
동아리만 50개, 귀촌자들이 만든 별난 시골 마을
문화의 향기가 물씬 풍기는 마을
주경야독으로 새로운 농부의 길을 찾다

5. 돈으로부터의 자유
가진 게 없을수록 함께 살 길을 찾아야
욕망에 사로잡히면 자유로울 수 없다
천혜의 길지에 저비용의 마을을 조성하다
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| 2부 | 실낙원을 낙원으로 만든 사람들

1. 달동네에 먼저 달이 뜬다
‘논골마을만들기 추진위원회’ 결성
‘떴다 홍반장’ 마을 프로그램
사랑방이 되는 교회

2. 혁명이 시작된 변방
느린 사람의 속도로 맞추어 사는 곳
대안적인 삶을 실천하다
무소유, 산 위의 삶

3. 우리 마을 희망의 일자리
공동체 안에서 일자리를 찾다
사람이 우선인 일자리

4. 어울려야 치유되는 상처
공감 속에서 살아갈 힘을 얻다
춤, 명상으로 분노를 버리다
심리 문제가 해결되면 유토피아가 열린다

| 3부 | 혼자 살아도 행복해야 한다

1. 혼자는 외롭고 함께는 괴로운 이유
맬서스와 도킨스의 인구팽창론은 허구가 되어버렸다
또 하나의 혁명, 포유류에서의 이탈이 시작되었다
외로움은 흡연과 알코올중독만큼 해롭다
고독할 수는 있지만 고립되어서는 안 된다

2. 싱글의 공동체살이
공동체 속에서 살아가는 혼삶족들
함께 살면서 배운 것들

| 4부 | 해외 공동체를 가다

1. 병든 개인과 세상의 치유자들
50대 중반, 몸의 반란이 시작되었다
‘컬트’로 비난할 수 없는 공동체 선구자들

2. 환희의 비결은 타인을 위한 삶: 태국 아속
아속의 여러 모습
나누고, 비우고, 실천하는 승려들
포틸락이 선택한 삶
진정한 베풂으로 명소가 된 시사아속

3. ‘나’로 살면 누구나 천재: 인도 오로빌
세계에서 가장 큰 공동체 마을
돈 없이도 배울 수 있다

4. 지상에 만들어가는 천국: 미국 브루더호프
저 푸른 초원 위에 그림 같은 집들
사랑과 헌신, 노동이 함께하는 천국
독재의 아픈 역사

5. 불통의 아픈 역사를 딛고 다시 소통하는 사람들: 일본 야마기시
고정관념 없이 열린 자세로 최상의 것을 실현하라
진정한 소통으로 삶을 엮어나가는 사람들

6. 눈치 보지 않는 사회를 만들자는 꿈: 일본 애즈원
그들은 왜 부유한 공동체를 떠났을까
명령도 강요도 없는 회사, 어머니 도시락
걱정이 없는 애즈원 사람들

에필로그_서로 의지하고 돕고 사랑하기를
부록_‘마을공동체가 궁금해요’ 일문일답
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첫문장
마당은 대저택에만 있는 게 아니다. 진짜 마당은 사람 속에 있다.

P.14 : 마을과 공동체가 주는 최대 장점은 노예살이에서 해방되는 것이다. 자본가들의 사냥에서 벗어나게 하는 것이다. 히말라야의 산양들은 설표에게 사냥 당하지 않으려고 천 길 낭떠러지 위만 돌아다니며 생명을 유지한다. 마을이나 공동체는 벼랑 끝은커녕 가장 좋은 환경, 친절한 동지들이 모여 있는, 가장 안전하고 행복한 곳이니 피난처도 그런 피난처가 없다. 마을공동체살이란 부익부 빈익빈과 지구 황폐화를 가속화하는 소비와 환경 파괴에 맞서는 혁명에 가담하는 것이기도 하다. 내가 만난 마을과 공동체 사람들은 이웃과 어울리느라 인터넷이나 게임이나 텔레비전에 빠져 있을 틈이 없었다. 남한테 으스댈 필요도 없고 사치를 부추기는 마케팅에도 동요되지 않으니 돈을 지출하는 일이 거의 없었다. _ <프롤로그> 중에서

P.24 : 두렵고 험난한 세상의 모든 파고를 홀로 넘어야 하는 것만큼 큰 재난은 없다. 개인을 옥죄는 게 자본만은 아니다. 누구나 살면서 몇 번쯤은 사기를 당할 수도 있고, 억울한 일을 당할 수도, 왕따를 당할 수도 있다. 이럴 때 하소연하고, 도움받을 사람 한 명 없는 세상이 지옥이 아니겠는가. 힘든 일이 있을 때 함께 걱정하고 내 일처럼 나서주는 이들이 있다는 것, 즉 힘겨운 세상에서 내 편인 공동체가 있다는 것이 천국이고 극락이 아니겠는가. 진짜 재난은 쓰나미나 지진이 아니라 몸이 아플 때, 혼자 죽어갈 때조차 모든 고통을 온전히 홀로 감당해야 하는 일이다. 목숨을 다하는 순간 누군가 곁에 있고, 함께 아파하는 이가 있다는 것만큼 큰 위로가 있겠는가. _ <프롤로그> 중에서









지은이 : 조현
저자파일
최고의 작품 투표
신간알리미 신청


최근작 : <우린 다르게 살기로 했다>,<사랑하며 춤추라>,<울림> … 총 11종 (모두보기)
소개 :
한겨레신문 종교전문기자 및 논설위원이다. 때론 그 굴레조차 벗고 떠도는 자유로운 영혼이다. 주로 찾는 곳은 히말라야 설산이나 동굴, 외딴섬…. 벗들과 어울리는 술자리도 좋아한다. 은둔 수도자들을 찾아다니면서 다른 한쪽으로 마을공동체 사람들과 교유하고 지지하며 시간이 날 때마다 그들 속에 들어가 같이 지낸다. 세상에서 가장 기운이 좋은 수도 터와 성지들을 다니고 최고의 영성가들을 만나 수행하면서 이를 선(禪)적인 글로 풀어내 ‘선사’라는 별칭으로 불린다. 2002년엔 휴직한 뒤 1년간 인도 순례를 감행했고, 2016년에도 1년간 히말라야를 트레킹하거나 해외 공동체에서 보냈다.
한겨레신문 사회부, 정치부를 거쳐 1999년부터 영성·치유·깨달음·공동체·대안적 삶에 대한 글을 주로 쓰면서 웰빙과 힐링, 공동체 바람을 일으키는 데 큰 역할을 했다. 저서로 처녀작인 《나를 찾아 떠나는 17일간의 여행》(《나를 찾아 떠나는 여행》으로 개정)은 2001년 문화체육관광부 장관이 ‘책의 날’ 직원들에게 선물한 책으로, 누리꾼들이 뽑은 ‘인문교양도서’ 1위에 선정되었다. 이어 세계 공동체 순례기인 《세계 어디에도 내 집이 있다》를 기획해 펴냈으며, 인도 여행을 다녀와 《영혼의 순례자》(《인도 오지 기행》으로 개정)를 냈다. 숨은 선사들의 발자취를 발굴한 《은둔》이 ‘불교출판문화상’과 ‘올해의 불서상’을, 오지 암자 기행인 《하늘이 감춘 땅》은 ‘불교언론문화상’을 수상했다. 한국 기독교의 숨은 영성가를 발굴한 《울림》은 감신대·서울신학대·장신대·한신대 등 주요 신학대에서 ‘100대 인문교양도서’로 선정되었으며, 역사와 신화의 땅, 그리스를 다녀와서 펴낸 《그리스 인생 학교》는 2013년 문화체육관광부 장관이 ‘여름 휴가에 읽을 책’으로 선정했다. 한국출판인회의에서 선정한 ‘우리 시대 대표작가 300인’에 뽑히기도 했다.
2001년 EBS에서 ‘조현 스페셜’이란 제목으로 일주일간 특별 강연을 한 이래 YMCA영성분과위원회, 정신과의사모임, 종교발전포럼, 서울대학병원, 서울시민청, 전주전통문화연수원 등에서 강연을 했다. 영성가·수도자·인문학자 등과 함께 지친 마음을 쉬며 치유할 수 있는 수행·치유 웹진 휴심정(well.hani.co.kr) 운영자이자 함석헌이 창간한 <씨알의 소리> 편집위원이기도 하다.



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대한민국 공동체 18곳, 세계적인 공동체 5곳을
총망라한 단 한 권의 책!!

세상에서 가장 기운이 좋은 수도 터와 성지들을 다니고
최고의 영성가들을 만나 수행하면서 선(禪)적인 글을 써온 종교전문기자 조현!!
3년에 걸친 공동체 탐사 취재와 3백여 명의 깊이 있는 인터뷰로
함께하는 삶의 가치와 행복의 의미를 짚어보다.

자살률, 세계 최고인 나라에서 죽지 못해 산다는 사람들,
금수저의 갑질에 분노하면서도 빈곤층 대우를 받기 싫어하는 사람들,
임대주택 사람들과 한 동네에서 살거나 난민을 받아들이는 것도 거부하는 사람들,
자신이 약자일 때는 정의의 투사이지만 개인으로 돌아와서는
자신도 모르게 차별하고 박해에 가담해버리는 사람들,
혹 당신도 자본주의에 얽매여 반공동체적 삶을 살아가고 있지는 않은가!!

동서양 문화는 물론 인도와 이집트, 이스라엘과 티베트, 중국과 우리나라의 오지 등을 순례하며 ‘정신의 원형’을 탐구해온 종교전문기자 조현이 자본주의 방식과 다르게 살아가는 사람들의 행복한 삶과 그 비결을 담아낸 책으로 돌아왔다. 신간 《우린 다르게 살기로 했다》는 혼자는 외롭고 더불어 살아가자니 괴로운 사람들에게 함께하는 삶의 가치와 행복의 의미를 되짚어보게 한다. 저자는 1999년 대안문명 시리즈로 영국 브루더호프공동체를 신문에 소개하면서부터 최근까지 대안적 삶을 살아가기 위해 만든 마을과 공동체를 탐사 취재해왔다. 특히 이 책을 집필하려고 최근 3년간 국내 마을과 공동체를 재방문하여 함께 어울려 살아보았고, 외국 언론들조차도 접근이 어려운 해외 공동체만을 찾아 순례했다. 농사도 짓고, 밥도 해 먹고, 공동체 일자리에서 직접 일도 해보면서 그들의 행복감은 과연 어디에서 온 것인지 그 비결을 하나하나 파헤쳤다. 재산과 학력 수준, 능력, 체력, 사회성이 달라도, 서로 의지하고 돌보고 협조하고 힘이 되어주고 위로해주고 사랑해주면서 행복해지고 강해질 수 있다는 것을 그들의 삶을 통해 보여준다. 남녀노소 3백여 명에 이르는 사람들과의 깊이 있는 인터뷰로 담아낸 생생한 사례와 명쾌한 분석, 시원한 통찰은 힘겨운 시대를 견뎌내는 우리들에게 삶의 가치와 방향, 행복의 의미를 다시 한 번 생각해보게 한다.

“마을이나 공동체를 들여다봐야 하는 이유는,
서로 의지하고 돌보고 협조하고 힘이 되어주고 위로해주고
사랑해주면서 행복해지고 강해질 수도 있기 때문이다.”

출세하고 부자 되지 않아도 행복한 마을,
힘겨운 세상에서 언제나 내 편이 되어주는 사람들

보통 공동체라고 하면 같은 뜻을 가진 사람들이 대안적 삶을 실천하기 위해 만든 마을을 말한다. 그런데 요즘은 땅 값이 비싼 현실을 고려해 새로운 형태의 마을이 생겨나고 있다. 이 책에서는 누구나 쉽게 접근할 수 있는 국내의 마을과 공동체 18곳부터 소개했다. 기존 마을을 좀 더 사이좋고 재미있는 마을로 변화시킨 ‘전환 마을’과 도시에서 열 집 정도가 함께 집을 지어 사는 ‘공유 주택’, 그리고 뜻 맞는 사람들이 시골로 내려가 만든 공동체를 두루 살펴본다. 서울의 ‘은혜공동체’ ‘소행주 1호’ ‘은평 전환마을’ ‘밝은누리공동체’, 경기의 ‘마을 카페 다락’ ‘논골마을’ ‘공방골목’ ‘더불어숲동산교회’, 경남의 ‘민들레공동체’ ‘성모울타리공동체’ ‘오두막공동체’, 충남의 ‘시온교회’ ‘갓골’, 충북의 ‘산 위의 마을’ ‘선애빌’, 인천의 ‘창문카페’, 광주의 ‘신흥마을’, 전북의 ‘실상사’ 등 공동체의 삶과 특징, 그 안에서 살아가는 사람들의 생생한 목소리를 담아냈다.
이어 실험적인 해외 공동체 5곳, 즉 태국의 5개 아속, 인도의 오로빌, 미국의 브루더호프 4곳, 일본의 야마기시 2곳과 애즈원을 순례하면서 그들이 행복한 이유와 함께하는 삶의 가치를 추적해보았다. 특히 아속은 저자가 자신의 지병을 근본적으로 치료하고자 떠난 곳이기도 하다. 아속에서 어느 정도 효과를 보고 아유르베딕 자연 치유법으로 유명한 인도 오로빌까지 방문했다. 치유 순례가 공동체 순례로 이어진 것이다. 이 책에서 언급한 해외 대안 공동체 대부분이 새로운 가치와 삶을 추구하면서 인간?사회 실험을 하고 있기에 자칫 이상적으로 보일 수도 있겠으나, 어쩌면 그들 덕분에 우리가 시행착오를 덜 겪으며 살아가는지도 모른다. 욕망과 집착을 놓아버리고 삶의 가치관을 달리한 그들의 삶에서 우리는 물질의 힘이 아닌 마음의 힘을 엿볼 수 있다.
공동체 사람들은 이구동성으로 말한다. ‘함께 산다는 것’은 아이뿐 아니라 어른에게도 삶의 여유와 재미를 주고, 실직이나 힘든 일을 당했을 때도 내 일처럼 해결해주며, 적게 쓰면서도 몇 배의 효과를 누리는 경제적 시스템이 잘 갖춰져 있어 만족도가 높다고. 무엇보다 어디서도 느껴본 적이 없는 치유와 살맛을 줘서 ‘가장 행복한 사람들’의 행복도를 경험케 한다고 말이다.
앞으로 수십 년의 노년을 홀로 살아가고, 고독사 당하는 일이 비일비재해질 것이다. 이 책은 고립되어 살아가는 게 얼마나 위태로운지, 함께하는 삶이 얼마나 많은 이로움이 있고 행복해지는 길인지, 얼마나 세상에 도움이 되는 길인지 깨닫게 한다. 출세하고 부자 되지 않아도 행복한 마을(공동체), 힘겨운 세상에서 언제나 내 편이 되어주는 사람들의 생생한 모습을 통해 한 번쯤 ‘다른 삶’을 꿈꾸게 한다. 또 우리는 주거, 비혼, 출산, 육아, 교육 등 우리 사회의 가장 골치 아픈 문제의 실마리도 찾을 수 있을 것이다. 간디는 ‘마을공동체가 세상을 구원할 것’이라고 했다. 이 책에서 만날 수 있는 마을공동체의 생생한 모습과 증언이 이 난제 해결에 영감을 줄 것이다.

“이 책은 혼자나 둘, 혹은 가족들끼리만의 울타리를 낮추고
이웃과 함께 어울려 사는 이야기다.
행복의 길은 ‘돌봄’과 ‘친밀’에 있었다.”

■ 혼자는 외롭고 함께는 괴로운 사람들을 위한 마을공동체

우리나라에서 도시 지역 거주 비율은 1960년대엔 40퍼센트 미만이었으나 1990년에는 81.95퍼센트, 2017년엔 91.82퍼센트로 늘었다. 농촌 마을에서는 부모가 농사일이나 다른 일을 하더라도 많은 형제자매와 할머니, 할아버지, 삼촌, 고모, 친척, 이웃집 아줌마, 아저씨, 형, 누나 등 제2, 제3의 안전망이 있었다. 엄마가 아니더라도 아이를 지켜보는 대가족과 마당이라는 천연의 안전망이 있었다. 이 안전망이 엄마의 육아 부담을 덜게 했다. 그러나 엄마와 대가족을 빼앗긴 채 제대로 돌봄을 받지 못한 이들은 분리공포를 느끼고, 인간에 대한 신뢰를 잃어 관계를 회피하고, 이로 인해 타인들과 함께 어울리는 것도 힘들어한다. 그래서 홀로 있어도, 함께 있어도 괴로워지는 것이다. 저자는 만약 어른이 되어서라도 엄마를 대신할 수 있는 공동체를 안전기지 삼는다면, 어린 시절의 트라우마를 치유하고 인간에 대한 신뢰를 충분히 회복할 수 있다고 말한다. 마음을 열고 관계 맺기에 나설 수 있고, 결혼과 출산할 용기 및 자신감도 가질 수 있다는 것이다. 따라서 공동체가 사는 것이 국가가 사는 길인 셈이다. 직장맘과 아이를 위해서라도 사회적 엄마인 마을공동체가 가장 좋은 대안이 될 수 있다고 저자는 말한다.

■ 늘 함께하니 외롭지 않은 ‘혼삶족’

서울시가 1인 가구 500명을 대상으로 조사한 내용에 따르면 대체로 혼삶에 만족하지만, 10명 가운데 6명이 경제적 문제로 고민했다. 26.2퍼센트는 건강을, 25.8퍼센트는 노후 생활을 걱정했다. 젊은 시절엔 건강하고 활동력이 있어 경제력이 뒷받침되지 않아도 어느 정도 화려한 싱글로 살아갈 수 있지만, 나이가 들수록 꿈과는 멀어져가는 게 싱글의 현실이다.
요새 싱글과 돌싱 등 이른바 다양한 사람을 껴안는 공동체가 생겨나고 있다. 혼삶족도 친구나 이웃의 필요가 절실한 만큼 공유 주택에도 관심이 커지고 있다. 싱글이 더 이상 사회적으로 왕따를 당해서도, 공동체에서 분리되어서도 안 된다는 뜻이다. 소행주에는 여자 싱글들끼리 모여 사는 집이 있는가 하면, 성소수자들끼리 살아가는 집도 있다. 요즘은 이혼율이 높아 한부모가정도 많다. 은혜공동체는 남성 싱글 넷, 여성 싱글 넷, 돌싱 가족 등 15명이 집 세 채를 얻어 공동체 가정을 꾸렸다. 이후 도봉동 은혜공동체 공유 주택에 2017년 입주하여 50명가량의 대식구와 한 집에서 공동체살이를 한다. 다수의 싱글과 동거 커플, 이혼 가정 등 다양한 사람이 공동체 품에서 함께한다. 밝은누리공동체는 멤버 150명 가운데 35명이 싱글이다. 싱글 서너 명이 한 방에서 한몸살이한다. 남은 방은 서재나 휴식 방, 옷 방으로 공유한다. 거실과 부엌은 말할 것도 없다.

■ 독박 육아가 없고
삶의 여백을 가르치는 공동체 교육

공동체는 온 마을이 아이들을 키운다. 부모의 욕망으로 자식을 괴롭히지 않는다. 삶을 즐길 줄 알고, 사람들과 어울릴 줄 알고, 일상생활을 스스로 해나가게 하는 데 초점을 맞춘다. 은혜공동체는 아이들의 천국이다. 부모들이 당번제로 공동 육아를 하면서부터 자신의 삶을 즐기게 되었다. 아이들은 홈스쿨로 공부하고 스스로 많은 것을 결정한다. 누구에게나 ‘삶의 멘토’인 목자가 있어 든든함도 더한다. 밝은누리공동체엔 독박 육아가 없다. 아빠도 엄마와 동등한 부모로서 육아의 주체자다. 당번이 아닌 부모는 산책을 하거나 차를 마시거나 독서, 음악을 즐긴다. 모두 육아 품앗이 덕분이다. 조금 더 큰 아이들은 살구나무배움터, 감나무배움터, 생동중학교, 삼일학림 등 비인가학교에서 배운다. 이곳 학생들에게 학문과 삶은 별개가 아니다. 집짓기, 농사, 태극권, 철학과 수신, 마음 닦기 등 실제적이다. 소행주는 ‘우리어린이집’을 만들어 공동 육아를 시작했고, 아이들을 거의 학원에 보내지 않는다. 배울수록 오히려 불안은 증폭될 뿐이고, 미래를 위해 현재를 희생할 필요가 없다는 가치관이 확실해졌기 때문이다.

■ 문화가 살아 숨 쉬고
돈으로부터 자유로운 시골살이

전북 산내면은 귀촌자들이 만든 별난 시골 마을이다. 공부와 책읽기, 명상과 요리, 여러 운동, 술 만들기, 목공 등 모임이 50여 개나 있다. 모든 것이 그물방처럼 연결돼 있다는 ‘인드라망’ 사상에 따라 움직이는 공동체다. 충남 천북면에는 폐교될 뻔한 낙동초등학교 어린이 26명 전원이 오케스트라 단원이 됐고, 어부와 할머니들이 바리스타가 되었다. 먹거리를 퍼주는 축제가 열리며, 이 희한한 마을들을 돌아보려는 여행객이 생겨났다. 충남 홍성 갓골에선 사람들이 서넛만 모여도 우리 마을에서 ‘이게 필요하지 않을까’라며 협동조합을 만들어낸다. 흙건축얼렁뚱땅조합, 목공실, 빵집 등 협동조합만 30여 개다. 이곳은 친환경농업의 메카로 자리 잡은 풀무학교 덕에 귀촌자들이 늘었고, 사시사철 좋은 강좌와 공연 프로그램이 끊이지 않는 밝맑도서관 덕분에 시골에 살아도 문화적 갈증을 해소할 수 있게 되었다.
시골로 가면 돈벌이는 줄지만 소비에서 벗어나 적은 돈으로도 살아갈 수 있다. 타인과 살아낼 품성과 태도만 갖추고 적절한 노동력이 있다면 어디서든 환영받는다. 선애빌은 별로 가진 게 없더라도 뜻 맞는 사람들끼리 모여 공동체를 만들어 살아가는 곳이다. 생태적인 삶으로 비용을 아낄 뿐 아니라 공동체원들 모두 함께 식사하여 생활비도 줄이고 즐거움은 더한다.

■ 노후 불안이 없고
상처마저 치유되는 마음의 유토피아

노후 준비에 목매다가 현재를 살아보지 못하는 삶에서 벗어날 수 있다는 것도 공동체가 주는 큰 혜택이다. 2010년 노벨경제학상 수상자 앵거스 디턴은 미국인 45만 명을 설문 조사한 결과 연봉 7만 5000달러(약 8천만 원)까지는 소득 증가만큼 행복도도 증가하지만, 그 이상은 연봉이 높아진다고 더 행복해지지 않는다는 논문을 발표한 바 있다. 인간의 행복엔 돈 이상의 무언가가 있다는 얘기다. 그는 그것이 ‘무엇’인지는 제시하지 못했지만 공동체의 삶은 좀 더 분명히 이를 실증한다. ‘늘 함께 공유하며 산다면’ 7만 5천 달러의 절반이나 3분의 1로도 얼마든지 행복하게 살 수 있다고 공동체원들은 말한다.
공동체로 살아가는 사람들은 공동체의 주요 기능의 하나로 치유를 꼽는다. 자신을 꽁꽁 닫아둔 채로는 공동체에서 살아갈 수 없기에 마음을 열고 소통하는 것만으로도 절반은 해결된 거나 다름없다. 또 자기 역할과 쓰임새를 찾을 수 있다. 공동체가 치유력을 지니는 것은 사랑이 많은 이들이 모여들었기 때문이기도 하고, 공동체 자체가 소통하고 공감하고 배려하는 분위기를 만들어가기 때문일 수도 있다. 누군가 힘든 속내를 꺼내놓으면 서로 공감하고 지지하며 조언도 해주고, 소그룹 토론과 심리 상담을 통해 관계에서 터져 나오는 분노나 갈등을 해결한다. 개인은 타인과 관계를 어렵게 하는 심리 문제들을 안고 있게 마련이고, 이를 넘어서야 유토피아가 가능해진다고 믿는다.

■ ‘컬트’로 비난할 수 없는 세상의 치유자들

외국에서 공동체라고 할 때는 자연 마을이 아니라 어떤 목적을 가지고 함께 모여 사는 마을을 말한다. 자기 욕망을 실현하기 위해 애쓰는 자본주의 삶의 잔인성과 파괴성을 보고 대안을 선택해 사는 마을이다. 대부분 남다른 가치하에 모여 사유재산도 가지지 않은 채 한 가족처럼 살아간다. 특히 이 책에서 소개한 태국의 아속이나 미국의 브루더호프 같은 공동체는 매우 이상적일 수 있다. 하지만 공동체를 시작한 이들은 우리가 결단하지 못할 때 결단했고, 인간?사회 실험을 앞장서 행한 선구자이므로 ‘컬트’로 비난할 것이 아니라 경애의 마음으로 배워야 한다.
아무 대가 없이 타인을 위해 헌신하는 태국의 아속, 세계에서 가장 큰 공동체 마을 인도의 오로빌, 사랑과 헌신 그리고 노동이 함께하는 천국 미국의 브루더호프, 진정한 소통으로 삶을 엮어나가는 일본의 야마기시, 눈치 보지 않는 사회를 만들자는 일본의 애즈원까지 그들의 혁명적이 삶은 우리에게 시사하는 바가 크다. 해외 공동체들은 정서적 좌절감을 채워줄 만큼 화려해 이상향이 아니라, 그런 욕망과 집착조차 놓아버리고 삶의 가치관을 달리 했기에 이상향이 되었다. 이상향은 장소라기보다 ‘삶의 목표를 어디다 두느냐’ 그 가치관에 있었다.


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총 : 1편




삶이 불안한 싱글에게 새로운 삶의 힌트를 쮸쮸바 ㅣ 2018-08-15 ㅣ 공감(0) ㅣ 댓글 (0)


싱글이라, 한번씩, 나이 들어서도 계속 이렇게 살 수 있을까 하는 생각이 들곤 하는데...혼자 살자니 외롭고 고독사가 두렵고, 함께 살자니 피곤한 사람...이라는 부제가 끌려 책을 샀다. 싱글들이나 돌싱들이 마을공동체에 합류해 고립되지 않고 어울리며 자신의 자유를 포기하지 않으면서 어울리는 새로운 삶을 사는 모습이 인상적이었다. 공동체라는 것이 좀 유별나고 무슨 사회운동하는 사람들이 하는 것이라고 막연히 생각했던 것 같은데, 그런 거창하거나 유별난 것이 아니라 독박육아에 지치지 않고, 자유를 포기하지 않고, 노후 걱정도 크지 않고 재미있고 보람되게 살 수 있는 삶의 방식을 원하는 평범한 사람들이 살아가는 방식이라는 것이 와 닿았다. 노인인구도 많아지고, 1인가구도 많아지고, 아이를 키우기도 어려운 시대에 삶에 중요한 힌트가 될 것 같은 책이다.



2018/08/15

The Oxford Handbook of Identity Development (Oxford Library of Psychology) (9780190469238): Kate C. McLean, Moin Syed: Books



The Oxford Handbook of Identity Development (Oxford Library of Psychology) (9780190469238): Kate C. McLean, Moin Syed: Books

Identity is defined in many different ways in various disciplines in the social sciences and sub-disciplines within psychology. The developmental psychological approach to identity is characterized by a focus on developing a sense of the self that is temporally continuous and unified across the different life spaces that individuals inhabit. Erikson proposed that the task of adolescence and young adulthood was to define the self by answering the question: Who Am I? There have been many advances in theory and research on identity development since Erikson's writing over fifty years ago, and the time has come to consolidate our knowledge and set an agenda for future research.

The Oxford Handbook of Identity Development represents a turning point in the field of identity development research. Various, and disparate, groups of researchers are brought together to debate, extend, and apply Erikson's theory to contemporary problems and empirical issues. The result is a comprehensive and state-of-the-art examination of identity development that pushes the field in provocative new directions. Scholars of identity development, adolescent and adult development, and related fields, as well as graduate students, advanced undergraduates, and practitioners will find this to be an innovative, unique, and exciting look at identity development.
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The Oxford Handbook of Identity Development

Edited by Kate C. McLean and Moin Syed
Abstract


Erikson proposed that the task of adolescence and young adulthood was to define the self by answering the question, Who Am I? Following Erikson, this volume takes a developmental perspective on this question of identity, one characterized by a focus on developing a sense of the self that is temporally continuous and unified across the different life spaces that individuals inhabit. There have been many advances in theory and research on identity development since Erikson’s writing more than 50 years ago, and the time has come to consolidate our knowledge and set an agenda for future research. ... More

Keywords: Identity, development, narrative, identity status, Erikson, identity process, identity content, personality, adolescence, emerging adulthood

Bibliographic InformationPrint Publication Date: Jan 2015ISBN: 9780199936564Published online: Dec 2014DOI: 10.1093/oxfordhb/9780199936564.001.0001

EDITORS


Kate C. McLean, editor
Kate C. McLean, Western Washington University

Moin Syed, editor
Moin Syed is an Assistant Professor of Psychology at the University of Minnesota, Twin Cities. His research focuses broadly on identity development among ethnically-diverse youth and the implications of identityMore


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Subject(s) in Oxford Handbooks Online
Psychology
Contents
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Part 2 Debates:: Identity Status Perspectives on Processes of Identity Development
The Identity Statuses: Strengths of a Person-Centered ApproachElisabetta Crocetti and Wim Meeus
Commitment and Exploration: The Need for a Developmental ApproachE. Saskia Kunnen and Marijke Metz
Identity Status: On Refinding the PeopleRuthellen Josselson and Hanoch Flum
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Part 6 Applied Issues in Identity Development
Identities, Cultures, and Schooling: How Students Navigate Racial-Ethnic, Indigenous, Immigrant, Social Class, and Gender Identities on Their Pathways Through SchoolCatherine R. Cooper, Elizabeth Gonzalez, and Antoinette R. Wilson
Transformation, Erosion, or Disparity in Work Identity?: Challenges During the Contemporary Transition to AdulthoodJeylan T. Mortimer, Jack Lam, and Shi-Rong Lee
Identity and Positive Youth Development: Advances in Developmental Intervention ScienceKyle Eichas, Alan Meca, Marilyn J. Montgomery, and William M. Kurtines
A Translational Research Approach to Narrative Identity in PsychotherapyJefferson A. Singer and Adam M. Kasmark
Youths’ Constructions of Meanings About Experiences with Political Conflict: Implications for Processes of Identity DevelopmentCecilia Wainryb and Holly Recchia


Part 7 Extensions
Puberty, Identity, and Context: A Biopsychosocial Perspective on Internalizing Psychopathology in Early Adolescent GirlsMisaki N. Natsuaki, Danielle Samuels, and Leslie D. Leve
Body Image and Identity: A Call for New ResearchElizabeth A. Daniels and Meghan M. Gillen
Cultural Neuroscience of Identity DevelopmentAlissa J. Mrazek, Tokiko Harada, and Joan Y. Chiao
Parenting, Adolescent–Parent Relationships, and Social Domain Theory: Implications for Identity DevelopmentWendy M. Rote and Judith G. Smetana
Who Am I If We’re Not Us? Divorce and Identity Across the LifespanJeffrey T. Cookston and Luke N. Remy
Identity Development in the Context of the Risk and Resilience FrameworkFrosso Motti-Stefanidi
The Dynamic Role of Identity Processes in Personality Development: Theories, Patterns, and New DirectionsJennifer Pals Lilgendahl
Identity Development in the Digital Age: The Case of Social Networking SitesAdriana M. Manago
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End Matter
Index

2018/08/14

The Unbound Soul: A Visionary Guide to Spiritual Transformation and Enlightenment - Kindle edition by Richard L Haight, Edward Austin Hall. Religion & Spirituality Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.



The Unbound Soul: A Visionary Guide to Spiritual Transformation and Enlightenment - Kindle edition by Richard L Haight, Edward Austin Hall. Religion & Spirituality Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.







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The Unbound Soul: A Visionary Guide to Spiritual Transformation and Enlightenment Kindle Edition
by Richard L Haight (Author), Edward Austin Hall (Editor)


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Creating Authenticity 

#1 best seller in multiple spirituality, meditation, self-help categories, this fresh, highly acclaimed spiritual guide tells of one man's struggle to free his soul while guiding the reader to their own inner freedom. 

     "I can't remember a more transformative book." 

The Unbound Soul is a memoir that tells the true story of a young boy, who in the midst of a vision, dedicates his life to spiritual awakening. As he matures, this promise leads him across the globe, gathering ancient knowledge and mastering martial, healing, and meditation arts. 

Along the way, subsequent visions reveal the rapidly approaching collapse that will shake our societies, our economic system, and the earth's ecology to the very core. Tormented by visions of coming worldwide calamity, Haight presses ever onward in his search and eventually realizes the elusive truth hinted at in his childhood vision. 

But The Unbound Soul is so much more than a memoir. It is a powerful guide that reveals the profoundly simple yet elusive truth that illuminates your life and provides a set of powerful awareness tools to assist you on your personal path. The Unbound Soul is really about you and your path toward practical realization in everyday life. 

Through this work, among other things, you will:
  • Receive new tools of awakening that blend seamlessly into your daily life. ― "This book is worth getting just for this, but it's a whole lot more."
  • Learn how the senses, thought, emotion, and memory have imprisoned you, and discover the key to unlocking that prison. ― "...one of the most profound books I've read in the search for answers to Love, Life, and Living!"
  • Discover the nature of the mind, consciousness, the spirit and the soul, and how they interweave to limit or unleash the possibilities of your daily experience. ― "You will look at the world a little bit differently after reading it."
  • Turn your daily life into a vibrant journey of awakening. ― "No gimmicks. No special pictures or runes. JUST YOU."

"Any reader who likes to contemplate and seek the ultimate truth will not turn away from this book once he or she picks it up!"

"This book, in my humble opinion, is the best literary tool for all human souls seeking their inner path to 'Spiritual Unfoldment.'"

"If you feel any drawing to read this book, know that it has the potential to transform your life."


Read The Unbound Soul to begin unbinding your inner-being today.
Length: 216 pages Word Wise: Enabled Enhanced Typesetting:Enabled
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File Size: 5053 KB
Print Length: 216 pages
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Publisher: Richard L. Haight; 2 edition (May 27, 2016)
Publication Date: May 27, 2016
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Biography
Richard L. Haight is an instructor of meditation, healing, and martial arts, and he is the author of The Unbound Soul: A Spiritual Memoir for Personal Transformation and Enlightenment. He began his path of awakening at age eight when he made a solemn promise in a vision to dedicate his life to enlightenment and to share what he found with the world. He took his first steps towards that promise at age 12 when he began formal martial arts training.

At the age of 24, Richard moved to Japan to advance his training with masters of the sword, staff, and jujutsu. During his 15 years living in Japan, Richard was awarded masters licenses in four samurai arts as well as a traditional healing art called Sotai-ho.

Throughout his life, Richard has had a series of profound visions that have ultimately guided him to the realization of the Oneness that the ancient spiritual teachers often spoke of. This understanding ultimately transformed the arts that he teaches and has resulted in the writing of The Unbound Soul.

Through his new book The Unbound Soul, his meditation and martial arts seminar, Richard Haight is helping to ignite a worldwide spiritual awakening that is free of all constraints and open to anyone of any level. Richard Haight now lives and teaches in southern Oregon, U.S.A.

Richard Haight explains that true spiritual enlightenment embraces all of life with deep aliveness, authenticity, innocence, and authority. It is what you are truly seeking.

Visit www.richardhaight.net for more information!
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4.2 out of 5 stars
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ferne

5.0 out of 5 starsI can't remember a more transformative bookJune 18, 2017
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Intensely rewarding. I had read the 1st (autobiographical) part of the book - available as a free pdf download and well worth reading in its own right. The remainder of the book looked more philosophical and I wasn't especially interested in someone else's theorising. Nevertheless I decided to buy the book and I'm very grateful that I did. The core of Haight's experience resonates with my own - and I'm sure countless others. But he places it within an over-arching context that effortlessly and with grace draws out the essence of the impulse that has led to the creation of all the world religions and that rests comfortably with the further reaches of modern science.

One of the things that rings deeply true to me is the humility of Haight's vision.

I've been grappling in recent times with how humanity can envision a positive, sustaining and sustainable future, rather than the bleak future we seem to have created for ourselves with our unconscious actions. Unexpectedly, this book brought a compelling and inspiring answer.

The 2nd, 3rd and 4th parts of the book contain many useful exercises and perspectives. It is worth buying for the Observing Meditation alone but there are many other riches, for example Haight's observation that we worship with our attention primarily. How much of our attention is directed to the self, he asks innocently... I haven't yet had an opportunity to explore the Dance of Self to any degree but am hoping I will be able to. Chronic pain has been deterring me and yet I somehow sense that the Dance may help with this..

If you feel any drawing to read this book, know that it has the potential to transform your life.
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Scott A Miller

5.0 out of 5 starsThe Unbound Soul a tower of knowledge.September 23, 2016
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While reading, unconsciously I began to underline and highlight the spiritual teachings. Upon finishing the book, I leafed through the pages, and discovered. The majority of the book had been underlined, and notes place at the margins. This book truly has a high ranking with my collection of books on spirituality. I highly recommend it.


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Nancy Price (flags@pld.com)

5.0 out of 5 starsFind the Bones of ChristAugust 9, 2016
Format: Paperback

Richard Haight begins his book by saying “spiritual” is a misconstrued word. Two other words associated with spirituality are “realization” and “unfoldment.” Haight says “Unfoldment indicates radical simplification while realization indicates being aware of something that had previously gone noticed. None of these words are associated with becoming, growing, or attaining.” His book is written for those who are ready for new insights into the spiritual world. Haight’s words and actions seem to be governed by Tao, which he calls Isness or Beingness.
He begins his book with life events from early childhood and through many years, much like a memoir. He includes many spiritual experiences in his memoir. This is a most interesting read and can be read at a reasonable speed. On one page, he questions himself by asking, “How is it that I perceive as being imperfect?” He has a new unconditional experience and calls it “inspirience” because the learning is within the soul and/or spirit.
While reading Part One, I thought of my reading of Varieties of Religious Experiences by William James. This is a great honor to Haight to be equated with this other book and author. Haight’s book was written for those who are ready for revelation.
The second part of the book, can be more difficult and needs to be read at a slower pace and perhaps spaced intervals to grasp some of the concepts presented. Haight himself states, “… the reader may experience difficulties when reading this book as the light of consciousness begins to shine through those identifications that do not want to be seen.”
In the second part of the book, Meditation, the Dance of the Self, and more about Unfoldment are shared. The “process of spiritual unfoldment is first and foremost a tuning to Isness … that reveals the very core of Beingness.” Haight uses his experience of martial arts, meditation, therapy, and instructor to put this great piece of literature together for our enjoyment.
Another profound statement in the book is when it comes to placing blame on others, it is wise to remember: “whatever happens is a reflection of the energy that I am projecting.”
Throughout the book, Haight talks about a feeling of being “pulled” physically to something. I have also felt this same spiritual pressure exerted upon myself. I’ve always considered it spiritual, heavenly, Godly, or angelic. Such feelings are hallmark. It coerces us to take a necessary action. Trust these feelings. It may often be the next step in a journey of spiritual learning.
Haight shares about negativity and “belief systems are compensating for traumas and deep-seated insecurities.” He talks about reflecting on our lives and how we only need shelter, food, water, love, and inspired purpose. He talks later about inspired purpose and unconditional love. He went on to say “most of my wants were actually attempts to fill an empty space inside.” The action of “shaming” is explained very well in this book. And a new view of Hell was given to me.
Haight agrees with me that the world is moving faster than ever in the past. There are many people searching for answers, more than ever before. We are hungry and we are thirsting for spirituality. Include the book Unbound Soul in your collection. I’m glad I did.
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No name

5.0 out of 5 starsHow wonderful, I found a book that unlocked a small ...September 28, 2017
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I recently found this writer and as soon as I began to read a feeling of weightlessness came over my body and mind. As if a dark covering was lifted and a different me was unveiled.
His style of telling is simple, uncomplicated, without pretence or arrogance. The books that I read are usually full of author's 'I AM, WAS, WILL BE. These books leave a stain of hopelessness and despair in my inside dwelling since I AM not, WAS not, nor WILL BE. And I decided that may be meditation is for someone 'more spiritual' thought I have no idea what that means.

I feel relaxed and content reading his books. The first thought that popped into my mind when I saw his term 'Isness' , was that what I AM means, IAMNESS. The basic of us, the blueprint under the smear of domestication. The real me!
How wonderful , I found a book that unlocked a small door to a huge space inside me.

17 people found this helpful

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Mary K. Jung

5.0 out of 5 starsThink About ItMarch 14, 2017
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The Unbound Soul: A Spiritual Memoir for Personal Transformation and Enlightenment
by Richard L Haight

A very well written book that I find is perfect for use when meditating. This book goes beyond what most other books designed to use for meditation in that it is set up so that you can easily go from day to day in your own personal life. Perfect if you are looking for a way to better understand yourself and your feelings.

Well worth the time that you would spend reading this work of art. Perfect for all ages and everyone who enjoys meditating, a guideline of sorts for your meditation.

A must have on your bookshelf for use now as well as later.

mkjfrj@aol.com
Sept 21, 2017

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The Curse of the Self: Self-Awareness, Egotism, and the Quality of Human Life 1st Edition
by Mark R. Leary (Author)

3.8 out of 5 stars 16 customer reviews





Despite its obvious advantages, our ability to be self-reflective comes at a high price. Few people realize how profoundly their lives are affected by self-reflection or how frequently inner chatter interferes with their success, pollutes their relationships with others, and undermines their happiness. 

By allowing people to ruminate about the past or imagine what might happen in the future, self-reflection conjures up a great deal of personal suffering in the form of depression, anxiety, anger, jealousy, and other negative emotions. A great deal of unhappiness, in the form of addictions, overeating, and domestic violence, is due to people's inability to exert control over their thoughts and behavior. Is it possible to direct our self-reflection in a way that will minimize the disadvantages and maximize the advantages? Is there a way to affect the egotistical self through self-reflection? In this volume, Mark Leary explores the personal and social problems that are created by the capacity for self-reflection, and by drawing upon psychology and other behavioral sciences, offers insights into how these problems can be minimized.

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Kindle from $10.96



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Editorial Reviews

Review
"Get ready to drop your ego and step into the real world. If you ever wanted to know why everybody else always seems one step removed from reality - Beware - Leary's well researched deadly accurate book, proves once and for all that the common denominator in all your failed relationships is you! Read The Curse of the Self and unlock the door to the bizarre inner workings of the human mind." --Lisa Earle McLeod Syndicated columnist, Lifetime Radio commentator and author of Forget Perfect (Penguin/Putnam)

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"represents an impressive level of scholarship, presented in a pleasant and accessible way, with anecdotes and touches of humor. Leary is clearly an expert on the topic-I doubt you would find anyone better qualified to write this book." -Roy Baumeister, Professor, Department of Psychology, Florida State University
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"Many years ago Whitney Houston sang that the greatest love of all was love for the self. She wouldn't feel that way if she read Mark Leary's refreshing and provocative analysis of how our 'selves' cause many of our greatest disasters and disappointments. Ironically, this book generates considerable introspection, even as it provides inspiration for learning not to let our selves get in the way of healthful and meaningful living." -Todd F. Heatherton, Champion International Professor of Psychological and Brain Sciences, Dartmouth College
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"The Curse of the Self is a thinking person's self-help book, not in the trivial, superficial sense in which the term 'self-help book' is usually used, but in the sense of being both intellectually stimulating and offering useful, practical advice and insights." -Lee Jussim, Department of Psychology, Rutgers University
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About the Author

Mark R. Leary is Professor of Psychology at Duke University. He is a fellow of the American Psychological Association and the Society for Personality and Social Psychology, and former president of the International Society for Self and Identity. He was named by the Institute for Scientific Information as among the 25 most productive scholars in psychology (1986-1990).
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Paperback: 236 pages

Publisher: Oxford University Press; 1 edition (January 4, 2007)
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Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars 16 customer reviews

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Nicholas Kadar


5.0 out of 5 starsYou Must Read This BookSeptember 21, 2015

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This is the best book written for lay people on behavioral and cognitive psychology that I have read (and I've read most of them). It achieves a synthesis rarely found in these types of books, and applies modern ideas about dual process theory to human nature with spectacular clarity. Books dealing with similar subject matter have catalogued the illusions of the self and the illusoriness of free will in a way most people find difficult to relate to, but this book is entirely different. It explains many of the personal and social problems of modern society in easy to understand and easy to relate to terms, and explains, pari passu, positive psychology and the principles underlying meditation with refreshing simplicity and clarity. Everyone would benefit from reading this book - and so would society at large.


5 people found this helpful



Camber


5.0 out of 5 starsPacked with practical insightsAugust 14, 2010

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Ironically, this is an excellent self-help book because, based on extensive psychological research, Mark Leary explains the importance of controlling and even diminishing the activity of the self. This is because the self is perhaps as much of a curse as a blessing (hence the book's title). The book provides practical techniques for managing the downsides of having a self and, though the book is written with academic rigor, it's also very enjoyable to read and easy to understand.




Because of the quality of Leary's writing (on which I can't improve), I'm quoting from the book extensively in this review in order to provide a rather detailed summary of the book. That will hopefully convince you of the value of the book and will encourage you to read it in its entirety.




Leary begins with the premise that "... the defining difference between human beings and other animals involves the nature of the human self. As we will see, evidence strongly suggests that most other animals do not have a self at all and that those species that do possess a self have only a very rudimentary one compared with human beings."




This leads to variety of conclusions, which are summarized in the preface of the book: "The ability to self-reflect offers many benefits by allowing us to plan ahead, reminisce about the past, consider options, innovate, and evaluate ourselves. However, self-awareness also sets us up for a host of problems that are unlike the difficulties faced by any other species. Among other things, the capacity for self-reflection distorts people's perceptions of the world, leading them to draw inaccurate conclusions about themselves and other people, and prompting them to make bad decisions based on faulty information. Self-awareness conjures up a great deal of personal suffering in the form of depression, anxiety, anger, and other negative emotions by allowing people to ruminate about the past or imagine what might befall them in the future. The inherently egocentric and egotistical manner in which the self processes information can blind people to their own shortcoming and undermine their relationships with others. The self also underlies a great deal of social conflict, leading people to dislike those who are different from them and to fight with members of other social groups. It also leads people to endanger their own well-being by putting egoistic goals over personal safety. For those inclined toward religion and spirituality, visionaries have proclaimed that the self stymies the quest for spiritual fulfillment and leads to immoral behavior. And, ironically, using self-reflection to help us deliberately control our own behavior can often backfire and create more problems than it solves."




To elaborate further, the following are more specific points from the book which I found particularly noteworthy:




" ... the self evolved under conditions much different from those under which most people live today."




"We spend much of each day in an automatic mode with our selves quiescent ... The self is sometimes engaged as we do these things, but it's not necessary."




"To the extent that we are self-focused and living in the inner world inside our heads, we are not able to live fully in the world outside."




"Once a behavior becomes well-learned, self-preoccupation can interfere with its execution."




"Perhaps the most tried-and-true method of quieting the self and reducing it effects on behavior is meditation."




"Perhaps the biggest bias in people's perceptions of themselves involves their penchant for overestimating their own positive qualities."




"Most people think not only that they are better than the average person, but that their friends, lovers, and children are above average as well."




"People tend to judge themselves as better than the average person on virtually every dimension that one can imagine."




"... self-serving attributions may be seen when people work together in groups, such as committees or teams. When the group does well ... each group member tends to feel that he or she was more responsible for the group's success than most of the other members were. When the group performs poorly, however, each member feels less responsible for the outcome than the average member."




"Although people typically keep their egos well inflated, occasionally the balloon pops, sending self-image into an uncontrolled dive. Even minor failures, setbacks, rejections, and disappointments can prompt harsh self-criticism."




"... people tend to think that the characteristics that they personally possess are more important and desirable than the characteristics that they do not possess."




"People are relatively blind to their own biases, but they see other people's biases much more clearly."




"We each tend to think that our view of the world is the correct one and that other reasonable, fair-minded people will (or at least should) see things the same way we do. When other people disagree with us, we naturally assume that they are deluded, ignorant, or biased."




"It is instructive that people who show the least evidence of self-serving illusions also tend to be the most depressed and that people who show the greatest biases in self-enhancement are most happy."




"... people who view their romantic partners in overly positive ways and who overestimate how much their partners care about them are more satisfied with their relationships than people who perceive their partners and their commitment more accurately."




"The tendency for people to perceive themselves and the world in self-serving ways reflects a method of reducing anxiety, uncertainty, and other unpleasant feelings by a back door route. In the short run, doing so undoubtedly makes us feel better about ourselves and our plight, and, as we have seen, it may have other beneficial consequences as well. But, in the long run, these illusions may compromise our ability to deal effectively with the challenges of life."




"... viewing emotions as natural reactions to real events overlooks the fact that people's emotions are often affected by how they talk to themselves, if not created entirely by the self."




"Many, perhaps most, of the things people worry about never materialize and, even when they do occur, worrying about them in advance is rarely beneficial."




"People who worry a great deal tend to be more depressed, report more physical symptoms, and have higher blood pressure than people who worry less."




"... the hunting-gathering lifestyle of human beings prior to the advent of agriculture did not evoke a great deal of rumination about the future. Life was lived mostly day to day, with no long-term goals to accumulate possessions, succeed, or improve one's lot in life, and, thus, few distal events to worry about. People's attention was focused primarily on what needed to be done today, and tomorrow was left largely to take care of itself. With the emergence of agriculture, however, people moved from and immediate-return environment ... to a delayed-return environment ... Modern society is a profoundly delayed-return environment."




"Anticipatory anxiety about death seems to be a uniquely human characteristic, another by-product of our ability to self-reflect. Only because we are able to imagine ourselves in the future can we worry about death at all ... When people think about their death, their reactions appear to arise not only from the fact that they will no longer function as a living organism but also that they will cease to exist as a mental self."




"People may be focused on the present moment yet still conjure up a good deal of unhappiness by wishing that, at this moment, they were somewhere else ... The solution to this particular curse of the self is to fully accept whatever situation one is in at the moment."




"Human beings expend much of their anger on symbolic events that 'threaten' something abstract that they hold dear, such as their ideas, opinions, and particularly their egos."




"... a person's sense of identity involves not only the person him- or herself but also his or her house, romantic partner, children, friends, prized belongings, and accomplishments."




"Once formed, people's self-concepts strongly influence their behavior."




"People who want to escape the aversiveness of self-reflection may watch mindless television, listen to music, read, exercise, shop, sleep, meditate, or have sex. Assuming that the person is not so self-absorbed that escaping the self is impossible (for example, when one is grieving), these diversion can decrease self-thought by focusing one's attention on other things. Some of the pleasure of these sorts of activities comes from their ability to quite the self."




"People with the highest status and power often need to escape the burdens of the self because they are chronically overwhelmed by their authority and responsibility."




"Various religions construe the problem a bit differently, but they concur that the self is an impediment - perhaps the chief impediment - to spiritual realization, religious practice, and moral behavior, and that a spiritual person must take steps to neutralize the self's negative effects."




"All organisms possess internal mechanisms by which they regulate themselves automatically, but human beings are unique in their ability to control themselves intentionally."




"People typically control themselves by telling themselves to do or not to do certain things."




"People do not purposefully control their behavior in ways that are not consistent with their attitudes, values, and goals unless they are self-focused and monitoring themselves. Self-control requires self-awareness."




"Failing to monitor themselves sufficiently allows impulses that were previously held in check by deliberate self-control to emerge. Research shows that people often behave in uncharacteristically dishonest, cruel, and antisocial ways when they are deindividuated."




"People cannot exert self-control ... unless they have an explicit goal ... Many failures of self-regulation occur because one urge or goal overrides another."




"... people have greater success controlling themselves if they do so early in a sequence of temptations when the impulse is not yet too strong."




"Perhaps the most surprising thing about self-control strength is that it can be depleted by previous acts of deliberate self-regulation. Each time a person controls him- or herself, self-control strength is temporarily weakened - as if some of it were used up - making subsequent efforts to control oneself more difficult ... In fact, simply making choices and decisions also depletes self-control strength. Even when people are not asked to control their behavior, they show signs of self-depletion when they must make difficult decisions."




" ... the self did not evolve to exert the amount of control that we require of it in modern life."




"... the insight that many of our problems, mistakes, and misbehaviors stem from the inherent nature of the self should lead us to cut everyone, ourselves included, a little more slack than we usually do. After all, we are all in this boat together, doing the best we can, using psychological equipment that isn't perfectly suited for the job."




"... chronically setting and pursuing goals can lead to a situation in which the purpose of life today is always the achievement of some goal tomorrow. Today simply becomes a means to some future end, leading us to forget that the only life we really have is the one going one right now. The self's ability to project into the future keeps us focused on the distant prize and distracts us from living fully today ... The solution may be to have goals, but not to become too attached to them."

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Nik


3.0 out of 5 starsKindle version not so greatDecember 17, 2016

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The kindle version is a lazy effort. The note superscripts in the text are not linked to the notes in the back, so I had to have two kindle devices open at once to easily refer to the notes while reading the text. The sections of the book are not delimited in the kindle version. And the index is not hyperlinked - in fact the index is not even text but is just images of pages.




As far as the content goes - chapter 1 was great. The rest was ok with a lot of material and self-help strategies I've seen before.




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Simply Curious


5.0 out of 5 starsThinking about our own thoughtsJuly 6, 2007

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Humans have the remarkable and perhaps unique ability to think about our own thoughts. This Strange Loop allows us to become aware of our self, to plan for the future, reflect and ruminate about the past, think about our selves as separate from others, imagine the thoughts of others, project our experiences into the minds of others, and judge our own actions. Self-awareness provides us the unique ability to control ourselves intentionally by imagining ourselves in the future and talk to ourselves about options for our future.




Self-awareness allows us to imagine the world from a variety of perspectives. Not only can we contemplate what we perceive now, but we can reflect on the past and imagine a variety of futures. We can also imagine what others are thinking now, or were thinking in the past, or will be thinking in the future. Self-awareness allows us to travel through time and read minds. But our awareness is less accurate than it may seem.




Self-awareness, introspection, and self-consciousness open us up to the emotions of pride, envy, jealousy, guilt, shame, and hope. Our ability to imagine the world from another's perspective allows us to feel empathy, compassion, pity, envy, and jealousy as it improves our emotional competency.




This excellent book explores the potentials and pitfalls of our self-awareness.

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Drew J Stapleton


4.0 out of 5 starsToo academic to be real, but such a great topic!January 10, 2014

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This author is a professional psychologist who specializes on this topic, however the beginning is the typical evolutionary wash of needless and almost weak-to-the-point-of-invalid causal links between evolution and the bases of our characters. Having said that, if you're into the academic tone (i.e., Stephen J Gould, etc etc) then its not going to be annoying to you at all. The great thing about this book is how you are faced with the reality of the situation you're in having a self which can be wrong and is always being re-worked in your own personal narrative and all that. I believe now that awareness of the mind games we play with ourselves can lead to massive healing. Thank you Dr. Leary.




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Meghan


5.0 out of 5 starsBuy it!August 26, 2014

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Amazing book. Needed it for a class. Loved every word. Doesn't read anything like a textbook, but your mind will definitely be expanded by the information contained within. If you buy one Psychology book- get this one.




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Joseph Dalton


5.0 out of 5 starsWell written and extensively researched.January 31, 2017

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This is a very good book if you want to understand why you're stressed out and are willing to try to do something about it. I highly recommend the book as well as a series of lectures that Professor Leary did for The Great Courses.







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Sustainable Soils: The Place of Organic Matter in Sustaining Soils and Their Productivity: Benjamin Wolf, George Snyder: 9781560229179: Amazon.com: Books



Sustainable Soils: The Place of Organic Matter in Sustaining Soils and Their Productivity: Benjamin Wolf, George Snyder: 9781560229179: Amazon.com: Books



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Find the right balance of organic matter, tillage, and chemical additives to increase the quality and quantity of crops!

This book shows the importance of organic matter in maintaining crop production. The addition of organic matter to soil is covered in great detail. This book is unique in that it draws on practical farming operations to illustrate many of the points discussed. The senior author has had almost 60 years of experience in solving production problems—many of which have been related to insufficient organic matter.

In addition, Sustainable Soils: The Place of Organic Matter in Sustaining Soils and Their Productivity stresses the necessity of combining the addition of organic matter with reduced tillage and added chemicals. Photographs, tables, and figures, as well as appendixes containing common and botanical names of plants, symbols and abbreviations found in the text, and useful conversion factors and data help bring the information into focus quickly and efficiently. An extensive bibliography points the way to other useful material on this subject.

Sustainable Soils discusses:
what materials can be added
techniques for proper handling of organic matter
how much is enough (and how much is too much!)
the nutritive value of various forms of organic matter
the benefits that can be expected from properly handling and adding organic matter to soil

From the Editors: “Sustainable agriculture is not possible without a sustainable soil science, which in turn is largely dependent on organic matter. It is necessary to return large amounts of organic matter to the soil in order to maintain satisfactory crop production. It can be derived from crop residues, cover crops, sods, or various wastes, such as manures, sludges, and composts. This book details the benefits of various forms, and how each should be handled for maximum returns.”

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Product details

Paperback: 380 pages
Publisher: CRC Press; 1 edition (July 25, 2003)
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5.0 out of 5 starsSustainable SoilsNovember 12, 2003
Format: Paperback

A must have book for anyone that deals with soils for a living.
The vast amount of usable knowledge contained in this book is impressive. Even though the information is highly technical the book is structured so that it is easy to understand. Covers most, if not all, areas that will be encountered by someone in agronomy.
John Rowland
Turfgrass Management Consultant

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Building Soils for Better Crops: Fred Magdoff, Harold van Es, Jill Mason: 9781888626131: Amazon.com: Books



Building Soils for Better Crops: Fred Magdoff, Harold van Es, Jill Mason: 9781888626131: Amazon.com: Books



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QBuilding Soils for Better Crops is a one-of-a-kind, practical guide to ecological soil management, now expanded and in full color. It provides step-by-step information on soil-improving practices as well as in-depth background from what soil is to the importance of organic matter. Case studies of farmers from across the country provide inspiring examples of how soil and whole farms have been renewed through these techniques. A must-read for farmers, educators and students alike. Written by University of Vermont plant and soil science professor emeritus Fred Magdoff and Cornell University soil science professor Harold van Es. Produced by Sustainable Agriculture Research and Education (SARE).




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Product details

Paperback: 294 pages
Publisher: SARE Outreach; 3rd edition (January 1, 2010)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1888626135
ISBN-13: 978-1888626131
Package Dimensions: 8.9 x 7.7 x 0.9 inches
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Jean-michel Tremblay

5.0 out of 5 starsA gold mine with more nuggets than scrapMarch 1, 2016
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This book is absolutely terrific. Each topic comes with a take home lesson (like this type of soil can be improved with this practice) followed by further explanations. It answered all my questions ranging from organic matter equilibrium to the sustainability of such and such fertilizing practice.

I don't think it's for everyone though. If you are the kind of person who asks "yes, but why?", you will finish the book in a week and ask for more. If you just want some rules of thumb without too many details, maybe look elsewhere. Also it covers topics more or less independently, this is not a "just add water" cookbook. A true gem for the curious gardener.

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Diane Miessler

5.0 out of 5 starsInformation-packed fun read. A soil building page-turner.June 24, 2018
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LOVE this writer. Amazing fund of knowledge that she keeps increasing. She talks about experiments in progress - still trying out her own theories. And reading her books is like talking to a friend - fun, conversational, easy but fact-filled read. I’ve since gotten all her other books.


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Kida

4.0 out of 5 starsbut definitely geared towards large-scale farming rather than small-scale gardeners like myself. I may use a weed whacker instead ...August 14, 2017
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Lots of information here, but definitely geared towards large-scale farming rather than small-scale gardeners like myself. I may use a weed whacker instead of heavy-duty tractors and tillers, but the ultimate effects will be the same...improved soil, better crops, and less erosion.

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TC

5.0 out of 5 starsFive StarsApril 22, 2017
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Good information to make good dirt instead of resorting to chemicals.


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cjadwall

5.0 out of 5 starsExcellent Book for FarmersJanuary 21, 2014
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This book is packed with information that is presented in ways that are easy to understand. It is a good book for anyone interested in farming or even just hobby gardening.

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George Hunt

5.0 out of 5 starsFive StarsApril 6, 2017
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Excellent


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RICHARD OKIRIA

5.0 out of 5 starsFive StarsDecember 17, 2016
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Thank you


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cassjo

5.0 out of 5 starsBought for my hubbyMarch 8, 2014
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Bought this book for my husband who is fairly new to planting and he is really loving this book, very helpful info.

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