2021/10/21

B Ehrenreich NATURAL CAUSES Ch 10 "Successful Aging"

 


Barbara Ehrenreich 



CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION Ix

Chapter One: Midlife Revolt 1

Chapter Two: Rituals of Humiliation 14

Chapter Three: The Veneer of Science 32

Chapter Four: Crushing the Body 51

Chapter Five: The Madness of Mindfulness 71

Chapter Six: Death in Social Context 91

Chapter Seven: The War Between Conflict and Harmony 112

Chapter Eight: Cellular Treason 137

Chapter Nine: Tiny Minds 151

Chapter Ten: "Successful Aging" 162

Chapter Eleven: The Invention of the Self 181

Chapter Twelve: Killing the Self, Rejoicing in a Living World 197

NOTES 213

ABOUT THE AUTHOR 235

======================

CHAPTER TEN  "Successful Aging"

The pressure to remain fit, slim, and in control of one's body does not end with old age—in fact, it only grows more insistent. Friends, family members, and doctors start nagging the aging person to join a gym, "eat healthy," or, at the very least, go for daily walks. You may have imag­ined a reclining chair or a hammock awaiting you after decades of stress and, in the case of manual laborers, physi­cal exertion. But no, your future more likely holds a treadmill and a lat pull, at least if you can afford to access these devices. One of the bossier self-help books for seniors commands:

Exercise six days a week for the rest ofyour life. Sorry, but that's it. No negotiations. No give. No excuses. Six days, se­rious exercise, until you die.'

The reason for this draconian regime is that "once you pass the age of fifty, exercise is no longer optional. You have to exercise or get old." You may have retired from paid work, but you have a new job, going to the gym. "Think of it as a great job, which it is."2

People over fifty-five are now the fastest-growing demo­graphic for gym membership. A few gyms, like the Silver Sneakers chain, deliberately target the elderly, in some cases even to the point of discouraging those who are younger—on the theory that older folks don't want to be intimidated by meatballs or spandexed sylphs. If the mere presence of white-haired gym-goers isn't enough to repel the young, some gyms don't offer free weights, partly because the sound of falling weights is supposedly annoying to older people and partly because older people, who are more likely to use exercise machines, may see them as a reproach. In the mixed-age gym I go to, membership tilts toward the over-fifty crowd, where "exercise is no longer optional." The more dedicated may use the gym as only part of their fitness reg­imen; they run in the morning or bike several miles to get there. Mark, a fifty-eight-year-old white-collar worker, does a 6 a.m. workout before going to work, then another one af­ter work. His goal? "To keep going." The price of survival is endless toil.

For an exemplar of healthy aging, we are often referred to Jeanne Louise Calment, a Frenchwoman who died in 1997 at the age of 122—the longest confirmed human life span.3

Calment never worked in her life, but it could be said she "worked out" While he was still alive, she and her wealthy

husband enjoyed tennis, swimming, fencing, hunting, and mountaineering. She took up fencing when she was 85, and even at 111, when she was in a nursing home, started the morning with gymnastics performed in her wheelchair.

164 NATURAL CAUSES "SUCCESSFUL AGING" 165

Anyone looking for dietary tips will be disappointed; she liked beef, fried foods, chocolates, and pound cake. Un­thinkably, by today's standards, she smoked cigarettes and sometimes cigars, though antismoking advocates should be relieved to know that she suffered from a persistent cough in her final years.

This is "successful aging," which, except for the huge in­vestment of time it can require, is almost indistinguishable from not aging at all. Anthropologist Sarah Lamb and her coauthors of a book on the subject4 date the concept of successful aging to the 1980s and locate it throughout the Western world, where it also goes by such names as "active aging," "healthy aging," "productive aging," "vital aging," "anti.aging," and "aging well."5 Lamb reports that

the WHO dedicated World Health Day 2012 to Healthy Ageing, and the European Union designated 2012 as the European Year for Active Ageing.6 In North America and Western Europe, centers for Healthy Aging, Active Aging and Successful Aging abound. Popular cultural and self-help books on the topic are flourishing.7

Among the titles now available on Amazon are: Successful and Healthy Aging: 101 Best Ways to Feel Younger and Live Longer; Live Long, Die Short: A Guide to Authentic Health and Successful Aging, Do Not Go Gentle: Successful Agingfor Baby Boomers andAll Generations; AgingBackwards: Reverse the Aging Process and Look 10 Years Younger in 30 Minutes a Day; and of course Healthy Agingfor Dummies. A major theme is that aging itself is abnormal and unacceptable. As the physician coauthor of Younger Next Year wrote, under the subhead "Normal Aging' Isn't Normal":

The more I looked at the science, the more it became clear to me that such ailments and deterioration [heart attacks, strokes, the common cancers, diabetes, most falls, fractures] are not a normal part of growing old. They are an outrage.8

And who is responsible for this outrage? Well, each of us is individually responsible. All of the books in the successful‑

aging literature insist that along and healthy life is within the reach of anyone who will submit to the required discipline. It's up to you and you alone, never mind what scars—from overexertion, genetic defects, or poverty—may be left from your prior existence. Nor is there much or any concern for the material factors that influence the health of an older per­son, such as personal wealth or access to transportation and social support. Except for your fitness trainer or successful-aging guru, you're on your own.

Unfortunately, the gurus' instructions are far from unan­imous or easy to follow. On the dietary front there's no more clarity than can be found in the general dietary advice for adults. Should you go with a Paleo diet or one heavy in complex carbohydrates? Should you eliminate all fats that do not originate in avocados or olives? We are widely advised to follow a "Mediterranean diet," but does that include Greek gyros and Italian charcuterie? Or perhaps we should refrain from eating anything at all. Numerous studies have shown that caloric restriction or intermittent fasting can prolong the lives of rats and other animals, but

166 NATURAL CAUSES "SUCCESSFUL AGING" 167

the debate over its effectiveness in humans goes on,9 despite the fact that most of us would find a semi-starved life not

worth living. If I can discern a general rule, it is governed by deprivation: Anything you like to eat—because it is, for ex­ample, fatty, salty, or sweet—should probably be put aside now in the interests of successful aging.

As for exercise, here too we find no precise instructions. Some sources, like the book quoted above, specify the

rough amount of exercise, such as six days a week for about

forty-five minutes per session, and how it should be divided between cardiovascular work and muscle training. But overall, a disturbing vagueness prevails. Often, we are urged

simply to "get active" or "get moving," on the grounds that even the smallest motion can be life-prolonging. "And even if you can't run a four-minute mile, keep running. If you can't run, walk—but keep moving, "10 For the sedentary, fid­geting at one's desk can help, along with parking a block or so from one's destination. A middle-aged woman reports that "I keep maniacally active because if there's any down time I sit there feeling guilty I'm not doing anything." Not doing anything is the same as aging; health and longevity must be earned through constant activity. Even the tremors of Parkinson's disease can be seen, optimisti­cally, as a form of health-giving exercise, since they do, after all, burn calories. The one thing you should not be doing is sitting around and, say, reading a book about healthy aging.

There are bright sides to aging, such as declines in am­bition, competitiveness, and lust. In her seventies, Betty Friedan turned her attention from gender to aging, writing a book called The Fountain ofAging and telling an interviewer that as they age, people become "more and more authenti­cally themselves. They didn't care anymore what other people thought of them, you know, keeping up with the Joneses and

'Am I going to make a fool of "12 Another noted

feminist, the Australian-born Englishwoman Lynne Segal, found artists often doing their best work in old age, and titled her balanced and richly documented book Out of Time: The Pleasures and Perils ofAgeing. I can add from my own experi­ence that aging also comes along with a refreshing refusal to strive, to take on every potential obligation and opportunity that comes my way.

But as even the most ebullient of the elderly eventually comes to realize aging is above all an accumulation of dis­abilities, often beginning well before Medicare eligibility or the arrival of the first Social Security check. Vision loss typ­ically begins in one's forties, bringing the need for reading glasses. Menopause strikes in a woman's early fifties, along with the hollowing out of bones. Knee and lower back pain arise in the forties and fifties, compromising the mobility required for "successful aging." As we older people mutter to each other in the gym, "It's just one damn thing after another," most of these things are too commonplace and boring even to serve as small talk. The U.S. Census Bureau

reports that nearly 40 percent of people age sixty-five and older suffer from at least one disability, with two-thirds of

them saying they have difficulty walking or climbing.13 Yet

we soldier along, making occasional concessions to arthritic joints or torn muscles but always aware that any major ces‑

sation of effort, say for two weeks or more, could lead to catastrophic collapse. "You don't become inactive because

168 NATURAL CAUSES "SUCCESSFUL AGING" 169

you age," we've been told over and over. "You age because you've become inactive."

No doubt immortality would be a more alluring goal ifwe could imagine surviving without disability, but hardly any‑

one, outside of the narrow demographic slice represented

by Silicon Valley billionaires, is interested in an extended life of being fed and "toileted" by caretakers until the next

biomedical breakthrough comes along. More modestly, the

goal of "successful aging" is often described as a "compres­sion of morbidity" into one's last few years. In other words,

a healthy, active life followed by a swift descent into death.

The latter goal may help account for the rise of "extreme" and dangerous sports in recent years, at least among those

who can afford ski resorts, snowboarding, or a trip to Nepal.

While the poor are chided for unhealthy lifestyles, the rich are applauded for summiting Everest, an enterprise with a

6.5 percent mortality rate14 and costing a minimum of about $100,000, not counting equipment or airfare—although fitness enthusiasts will be happy to know that both gluten-free and vegan diets are now available to climbers. 15

But the goals of a healthy, active life followed by a fairly quick death may not even be compatible without the inter­vention of avalanches and altitude sickness. The truly sinis­ter possibility is that for many of us, all the little measures we take to remain fit—all the deprivations and exertions—will only lead to a longer chance to live with crippling and humiliating disabilities. As a New York Times columnist ob­served, "The price we're paying for extended life spans is a high rate of late-life disability-"16 There are no guarantees.

But where there are no guarantees, there are plenty of promises of which "younger next year" is far from the most extravagant. Skincare products, once content to be "age-defying," are increasingly claimed to be "age-reversing," and, we are told by the wellness coaches and websites, a youthful appearance is part of "feeling good about yourself," which is deemed essential to wellness at any chronological age. Credit for adding beauty—or at least a simulacrum of youthfulness—to the wellness package should go to the new "celebrity wellness" entrepreneurs, starting with actor Gwyneth Paltrow, whose digital company Goop has been dispensing tips on beauty, health, recipes, and shopping since 2008. Actor Blake Lively launched her own "lifestyle company" in 2013, which is about "living a very one-of-a-kind, curated life," and included home decorating tips. 17

The general assumption is that the customers have plenty of time and money on their hands for, among many other things, a $60 "skin-rejuvenating pillowcase with patented Copper technology," or a $5,000 "radiofrequency" skin-tightening treatment. If you have enough money for such gadgets and interventions, you can presumably buy your way out of the strenuous "younger next year" approach to aging and take a more sybaritic path, one designed not to challenge but to pamper. The celebrity wellness entrepre­neur du jour, Amanda Bacon, who is a celebrity only by virtue of her Moon Juice wellness products, offers, instead of exercise regimens, a line of ointments and drinks, heavy on the kinds of exotic and expensive substances that Bacon herself likes to consume: "ho shou wu, silver needle tea, pearl, reishi, cordyceps, quinton shots, bee pollen and chaga." The theme here is self-nurturance, as reflected in the

170 NATURAL CAUSES

cost of the items consumed, as well as the time that goes into "curating" and procuring them. As New York Times re­porter Molly Young comments:

What Goop (and acolytes like Moon Juice) sell is the no­tion that it's not only excusable but worthy for a person to spend hours a day focused on her tiniest mood shifts, food choices, beauty rituals, exercise habits, bathing rou­tines and sleep schedule. What they sell is self-absorption as the ultimate luxury product. 18

Not surprisingly, these celebrity-endorsed wellness tech­niques are not exactly evidence-based, although of course there may be some large-scale double-blind randomized studies of, say, the salubrious effects of pearl consumption, that I am not aware of. But there are other equally passive and sweat-free wellness techniques that claim slightly more scientific credibility, such as "touch therapy." It is known that human infants and probably those of many other mam­mals only thrive when held and touched. Extrapolating from that, some wellness purveyors surmise that even adults in modern societies suffer from "touch deprivation"—most of all the elderly ones, who may have lost, or lost interest in, their partners and simply aged out of the dating pool.

Fortunately, touch is easy enough to commoditize in the form of massages or "healing touch" therapies that can be offered by spas, hospitals, and senior care centers. An as­sisted living center excitedly tells us that touch reduces blood pressure and glucose and increases alertness, while all-out hugs "strengthen the immune system, relieve pain

"SUCCESSFUL AGING" 171

and depressions elevate mood, reduce stress, decrease the heart rate, and may prevent Parkinson's disease. "9 The hugs can be dispensed by care providers or acquired from the fledgling "cuddling industry," which offers asexual cuddles for a price. 20

Inflammaging

In the twentieth century, medical science began to think of aging as a kind of disease as opposed to a normal stage of the life cycle. Women were used to having their lives "med-icalized" from puberty to menopause, with pregnancy and childbirth as acute episodes requiring intense medical monitoring and often intervention. But since there was no cure for aging, the elderly were pretty much left to their own devices, once meaning tonics and elixirs rich in alco­hol or cocaine, which may have been, at least in the short term, highly effective. Not until the 1960s and '70s did a researcher come up with a theory of aging at the sub-cellular level, which in the reductionist biology of the time was the only level that counted as interesting. This was the "telomere theory": Every time a cell divides, the tips of its chromosomes (telomeres) grow shorter until further cell

divisions become impossible.

The theory had its problems—many types of cells, such as cardiac cells and neurons, do not reproduce or do not do so very often, yet they somehow manage to age. But it also presented a tempting commercial opportunity in the form of drugs that might lengthen and fortify telomeres, al‑

172 NATURAL CAUSES "SUCCESSFUL AGING" 173

though their pharmaceutical promise has not been fulfilled. A host of other chemical agents in the aging process have

been identified, each with its own proposed nostrum. Free

radicals were popular culprits in the 1980s and '90s, leading to a brief fad of consuming antioxidants like vitamin E and

selenium—to no effect, as it turned out. Methylation, the

addition of a methyl group to a protein or nucleic acid, is required for cellular health and is thought to be encouraged

by B vitamins such as folate. But the effect of B vitamins on aging is murky at best. 21 Or, it has been proposed, mu­tations can occur in a cell's DNA, leading to accumulated intracellular damage, and there is no known cure for that.

All of these proposed chemical pathways of aging occur within individual cells, and all are suggestive of the kind of deep trends one might associate with aging—decay and entropy. The analogy is often made to the kind of "wear and tear" that eventually disables a machine or at least its moving parts, except that cells are not machines and their moving parts are molecules or clusters of molecules that are subject to perpetual destruction and renewal. Proteins, the fundamental chemical ingredient of cells, are constantly being torn apart by intracellular digestive enzymes and re­placed by freshly constructed ones. Some of the key protein players in cellular metabolism have half-lives only minutes long, meaning that there are plenty of opportunities for errors, as well as opportunities for correcting them. Over time, though, with advancing age, the errors accumulate until the integrity of the cell is compromised. And it is then that things get interesting.

Damaged cells attract immune cells, or, more precisely, damaged cells send out chemical signals that attract the im­mune cells, which proceed to devour the ailing cells. Some of the immune cells are messy eaters, leaving behind debris or the equivalent of crumbs, which in turn attracts more immune cells. Macrophages in particular are drawn to dam­aged cells; in fact, their chief "function" in the body, in addition to fighting microbes, is the removal of such com­promised cells. Thus the site of cell damage becomes a site of inflammation, where macrophages pile up and attract more macrophages to share in the meal. Inflammation is of course lifesaving when provoked by microbes, but when the target is the body's own cells or damaged versions thereof, it can lead, however gradually, to death.

In 2000, the Italian immunologist Claudio Franceschi proposed the neologism "inflammaging" to describe the en­tire organism-wide process of aging. Far from being a simple process of decay originating in individual cells, aging in­volves the active mobilization of macrophages to deal with proliferating sites of cellular damage. Today Franceschi's theory is widely accepted, with inflammaging being de­scribed, ominously enough, as "chronic smoldering oxida­tive and inflammatory Stress?'22 The hallmark disorders of aging—such as atherosclerosis, arthritis, Alzheimer's dis­ease, diabetes, and osteoporosis—are all inflammatory dis­eases, characterized by a local buildup of macrophages. In atherosclerosis, for example, macrophages settle in the arter­ies leading to the heart, where they gorge themselves with lipids until the arteries are eventually blocked. In Type 2 dia­betes macrophages accumulate in the pancreas, where they destroy the cells that produce insulin. Osteoporosis involves

174 NATURAL CAUSES "SUCCESSFUL AGING" 175

the activation of bone-dwelling macrophages, called osteo-cytes, that kill normal bone cells. The inflammation associ­ated with Alzheimer's disease was first thought to represent macrophages' attempts to control the beta-amyloid plaques that clog up the Alzheimer's brain. But the most recent re­search suggests that the macrophages, which may indeed be activated by the plaques, actually drive the progression of the disease. 23

These are not "degenerative" diseases, not just accumula­tions of "errors" and cobwebs. They are active and seeming‑

ly purposeful attacks by the immune system on the body

itself. Why should this happen? Perhaps a better question

is: Why shouldn't it happen? The survival of an older per­son is of no evolutionary consequence since that person can no longer reproduce—unless one wants to argue for the role of grandparents in prolonging the lives of their de­scendants. It might even, in a Darwinian sense, be better to remove the elderly before they can use up any more resources that might otherwise go to the young. In that case, you could say that there is something almost altruistic about the diseases of aging. Just as programmed cell death, apoptosis, cleanly eliminates damaged cells from the body, so do the diseases of aging clear up the clutter of biologi­cally useless older people—only not quite so cleanly. And this perspective may be particularly attractive at a time, like now, when the dominant discourse on aging focuses on the deleterious economic effects of largely aging populations. If we didn't have inflammatory diseases to get the job done, we might have to turn to euthanasia.

But however benevolent the diseases of aging might ulti­ mately be—at least from a social or economic perspective—they are experienced by the individual as a betrayal. In one of his last novels, Everyman, Philip Roth's protagonist, who is essentially the same Rothlike, sex-obsessed character who has starred in most of his novels, must face his own physical deterioration. Well into his seventies, retired and largely es­tranged from his family, he is still hitting on women at least

a half century younger than himself. Mostly though, he is aging—tormented by his increasingly unreliable penis and

by atherosclerosis, which comes to require heart surgery ev‑

ery year. The setting is increasingly claustrophobic as it moves among waiting rooms and hospitals before returning

to the cemetery where the story started, at a family funeral,

and where his own body will eventually rest. It is unlikely that Roth knew anything about inflammaging or the cel‑

lular basis of atherosclerosis, but he accurately summed up the biological situation when he wrote that "old age isn't a battle; old age is a massacre.724

So whatever good deeds immune cells may accomplish in the young, such as fending off microbial infections, their job—or perhaps we should say, their effect in the elderly—is to destroy the organism. The question of why they do

these things might be simplified into a more childish form: Are the immune cells "good" or are they "bad"? Friends or foes? For the most part, scientists dodge this question with

mumblings about "paradoxical" effects or a "double-edged sword." Macrophages can save our lives or promote deadly

tumors. Neutrophils, which are among the first immune cells to arrive at a site of infection, can slay intruders or start a spiral into chronic inflammation. Scientists sometimes fall

176 NATURAL CAUSES "SUCCESSFUL AGING" 177

back on the language of moral judgment, of "good" and "bad." For example, a researcher who has contributed to several papers on inflammation attempts to exonerate neu-trophils by blaming their occasional bad behavior on other cell types they are in contact with, which are typically other immune cells:

Although neutrophils may often appear to be the "bad" guy in certain inflammatory conditions this is typically due to the influence of other molecules released from sur­rounding cells. Without this influence the primary aim of the neutrophil is to resolve inflammation, making them overall the "good" guys of the inflammatory process.25

It would take a lengthy trial to determine the guilt or in­nocence of the immune system or of any cell type within it. In the case of macrophages their contributions to the well­being of the organism are well known: They help sculpt the embryo into a human fetus; they defend the body against microbial invasions; they participate in the process of anti­gen presentation; they keep the body clear of dead and damaged cells. On the destructive side, they encourage the growth and spread of tumors; they launch the catastrophe of inflammaging; they are frontline killers in autoimmune diseases. If I were a prosecutor in the trial of macrophages I might wind up my case with the autoimmune diseases, which may not prove active malice on the macrophages' part, but certainly make a case for homicidal negligence. In their defense, macrophages could argue that whatever the deleterious consequences, they are simply doing the kind of things they are expected to do—removing damaged cells, for example. To which the prosecution might counter that macrophages have way too much discretion in determining which cells are damaged enough to die, and may even have caused the initial harm themselves.

Early in his massive work on the history and philosophy of immunology, The Immune Se Theory or Metaphor, Al­fred Tauber states that "the immune self has come to be viewed analogously to a living entity."26 His use of the pas­sive voice conceals who has come to see the "immune self" in this way—he himself or immunologists in general? But the larger question is, what does it mean to say that some part or parts of the body act as a "living entity"? Certainly the cells of the immune system are in constant communi­cation, and are capable of rather dramatic forms of coop­eration. For example, if a macrophage needs to expand its supply of cell-killing digestive enzymes, all it has to do is gobble up a neutrophil and add the neutrophil's stockpile of enzymes to its own. So the immune system seems to qualify as a "system," but does it possess the autonomy we expect to find in a "living entity"? If so, we should probably call the nervous system a kind of living entity too, since it is capable of plotting and carrying out the death of the organism—in the form of suicide by gunshot or poison—on its own.

But what kind of an entity is it? Is it a second, shadow self, assuming the word "self" has not been so degraded by

its metaphorical uses as to be meaningless? The best anal­ogy I can come up with would be that it is a symbiont—living in a symbiotic relationship within us, sometimes sav­ing our lives and sometimes destroying us. All we can say

178 NATURAL CAUSES "SUCCESSFUL AGING" 179

for sure is that its agenda does not always concur with ours, and there does not seem to be any command-and-control

center within the organism to bring these agendas reliably into harmony. There are many small measures, to be sure—checks and balances, anti- and pro-inflammatory chemical messages—but there is ultimately no one in charge.

The danger is that the inflammatory forays of the im­mune system can easily tilt into lethal cascades. A plaque composed of macrophages can suddenly block a coronary artery. Alzheimer's disease, which is an inflammatory dis­ease of the brain, can cut off the neuronal circuits control­ling breathing. Where there is an inflammation, body cells are damaged, and the damage lures more inflammatory cells to the site. Macrophages get less efficient with age, slower and less effective as phagocytes and defenders against mi­crobial invasions. But the effect may be to make them even messier eaters than they were in their youth, and hence more prone to inadvertently call for more macrophages as backup. Chronic, "smoldering" inflammations can easily ig­nite into conflagrations.

We all know how this ends, though for the most part we prefer not to think about it. When the organism dies, as signaled by the cessation of the heartbeat and respiration, not all body cells die simultaneously, though many begin to ail within minutes or hours. Their mitochondria swell, their disabled proteins are not replaced, their cell mem­branes start to leak. Macrophages and other phagocytes, which are not wholly dependent on the bloodstream for nutrients, may last slightly longer and perhaps enjoy a brief orgy as they rush around devouring damaged cells, but they too soon succumb to the lack of oxygen from circulating blood. Bacteria from the gut—collectively known as the microbiome—find their way through leaky membranes to the rest of the body and begin the process of putrefaction. Next come the insects, including beetles, flies, and, should they be in the neighborhood, butterflies. Maggots are the hallmark of decomposition; Shakespeare remarked that "we fat [fatten] ourselves for maggots" and was amused by the fact that even kings are eventually eaten by these little worms. Mercifully perhaps, the corpse may be attacked at some point by larger scavengers—crows vultures, rats, hye­nas, jackals, and dogs—which at least serve to clean up the mess. To the heroes of the Iliad, this was the ultimate hu­miliation they could wish on their enemies—to be eaten by dogs and crows, to descend from the status of warriors and predators into prey.

So much, then, for the hours—and years—you may have devoted to fitness. The muscles that have been so carefully sculpted and toned stiffen when calcium from the dead body leaks into them, causing rigor mortis, and loosening only when decomposition sets in. The organs we nurtured with supplements and superfoods abandon their appointed functions. The brain we have tamed with mindfulness exer­cises goes awry within minutes after the heart stops beating. Soon after, reports a forensic anthropologist, "the brain liq­uefies very quickly. It just pours out the ears and bubbles out the mouth ."27 Everything devolves into a stinking pool or, what may sound even worse, a morsel in a rat's digestive system.

If this sounds offensive, let me remind you that we in‑

180 NATURAL CAUSES

habit an entertainment culture that is thickly populated with the "undead," the "walking dead," and other border­line creatures that resemble decaying corpses. Their mouths, always open to expose rotting teeth, are bloody gashes, their eyes are set deep in their sockets, their jowls may be begin­ning to melt down toward their necks, and of course, they are lurching toward us in search of a meal. This obsession is odd, given how meticulous our society is about the dis­posal of corpses. We are unlikely to trip over dead bodies on the sidewalk, but it is hard not to encounter them while re­laxing in front of movies—as if we needed reminders of the postmortem future of the flesh.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

The Invention of the Self

We return now to a question raised earlier in this book. Who is in charge? We seek control over our bodies, our minds, and our lives, but who or what will be doing the controlling? The body can be ruled out be­cause of its tendency to liquefy—or turn into dust—without artful embalming. So the entity we wish to en­throne must be invisible and perhaps immaterial—the mind, the spirit, the self, or perhaps some ineffable amal­gam, as suggested by the phrase "mind, body, spirit" or the neologism "mindbody."

The spectacle of decomposition provides a powerful in­centive to posit some sort of immaterial human essence that survives the body. Certainly there is very little talk of "mind-body unity" in the presence of a rotting corpse. In fact, the conversation is likely to take a different turn, to

an emphasis on the existence of an immortal essence, or soul, that somehow carries on without the body. Medieval

Catholic artists and clerics deployed images of decompos­ing bodies—sometimes with maggots wiggling in the nos‑

182 NATURAL CAUSES THE INVENTION OF THE SELF 183

trils and eye sockets—to underscore the urgency of prepar­ing the soul for the disembodied life that awaits it. Bud­dhist monks practice "corpse meditation" in the presence of corpses, both fresh and rotting, to impress on themselves the impermanence of life The soul, m both Christian and Islamic philosophy, is the perfect vessel for the immortality that eludes us as fleshly creatures: It's immortal by virtue of the fact it somehow participates in, or overlaps with, an immortal deity. Even nonbelievers today are likely to comfort themselves with the thought of a "soul," or spirit, or vague "legacy" that renders them impervious to decay. As Longfellow famously wrote, "Dust thou art, to dust turnest, was not spoken of the soul."

But no one has detected this entity. There is in fact much firmer evidence for the existence of "dark matter," the hy­pothesized substance that is invoked to explain the shape of galaxies, than there is for any spirit or soul. At least dark matter can be detected indirectly through its gravitational effects. We can talk about someone's soul and whether it is capacious or shriveled, but we realize that we are speaking metaphorically. Various locations for an immaterial individ­ual essence have been proposed—the heart, the brain, and the liver—but autopsies yield no trace of it, leading some to speculate that it is delocalized like the Chinese qi. In 1901, an American physician reported that the human body loses three-quarters of an ounce, or twenty-one grams, at the mo­ment of death, arguing that this meant the soul is a material substance. But his experiment could not be replicated, sug­gesting that the soul, if it exists, possesses neither location nor mass. One can't even find the concept of the "immortal soul" in the Bible. It was grafted onto Christian teachings from the pagan Greeks long after the Bible was written.2

The idea of an immortal soul did not survive the En­lightenment unscathed. The soul depended on God to pro‑

vide its immortality, and as his existence—or at least his

attentiveness—was called into question, the immortal soul gave way to the far more secular notion of the self. While

the soul was probably "discovered" by Christians (and Jews)

reading Plato, the self was never discovered; it simply grew by accretion, apparently starting in Renaissance Europe.

Scholars can argue endlessly about when exactly the idea of

the self—or any other historical innovation—arose; prece­dents can always be claimed. But historians have generally

agreed on the vague proposition that nothing like either

the soul or the self existed in the ancient world. Ego, yes, and pride and ambition, but not the capacity for introspec‑

tion and internal questioning that we associate with the self. Achilles wanted his name and his deeds remembered forever; he did not agonize over his motives or conflicted allegiances. That sort of thinking came later.

Lionel Trilling wrote that "in the late 16th and early 17th centuries, something like a mutation in human nature took

place," which he took to be the requirement for what his‑

torian Frances Yates called "the emergence of modern Euro­pean and American man."' As awareness of the individual

self took hold, the bourgeoisie bought mirrors, commis‑

sioned portraits, wrote autobiographies, and increasingly honored the mission of trying to "find" oneself among the

buzz of thought engendered by a crowded urban social world. Today we take it for granted that inside the self we

184 NATURAL CAUSES THE INVENTION OF THE SELF 185

present to others, there lies another, truer self, but the idea was still fresh in the 1780s when Jean-Jacques Rousseau an­nounced triumphantly:

I am forming an undertaking which has no precedent, and the execution of which will have no imitator whatsoever. I wish to show my fellows a man in all the truth of nature; and this man will be myself.

Myself alone. I feel my heart and I know men. I am not made like any of the ones I have seen; I dare to believe that I am not made like any that exist. If I am worth no more, at least I am different.4

Megalomania, or the proud claim of a rebellious political thinker? Contemporary thought has leaned toward the lat­ter; after all, Rousseau was a major intellectual influence on the French Revolution, which, whatever its bloody out­come, was probably the first mass movement to demand both individual "Liberté" and "Fraternité," or solidarity within the collective. There is something bracing about Rousseau's assertion of his individual self, but the impor­tant thing to remember is that it was an assertion—no evi­dence was offered, not that it is easy to imagine what kind of evidence that might be. As historian John 0. Lyons put it, the self was "invented."5

Another slippery abstraction was taking hold at around the same time as the self, and this was the notion of "soci­ety." Like the self, society is not something you can point to or measure, it is a concept that has to be taught or shared, a ghostly entity that arises from an aggregate of individual selves. In material terms, you can imagine a "super-being" composed of numerous subunits clumsily trying to coordi­nate their movements. It is no coincidence that the concept of society arose along with that of the self, if only because the newly self-centered individual seemed to be mostly con­cerned with the opinion of others: How do I fit in? How do I compare to them? What impression am I making? We do not look into mirrors, for example, to see our "true" selves, but to see what others are seeing, and what passes for inner reflection is often an agonizing assessment of how others are judging us.

A psychological "mutation" of this magnitude cries out for a historic explanation. Here, historians have generally invoked the social and economic changes accompanying the increasing dominance of a market economy. As fixed feudal roles and obligations lost their grip, it became easier for people to imagine themselves as individuals capable of self-initiated change, including upward mobility. You might be an artisan and learn to dress and speak like a mer­chant, or a merchant who takes on the airs of an aristocrat. Traditional bonds of community and faith loosened, even making it possible to assume the identity of another person, as in the famous case of the sixteenth-century adventurer who managed to convince the inhabitants of a village that he was their missing neighbor Martin Guerre. He took over the family inheritance and moved in with the real Guerre's wife, at least until the ruse was uncovered three years later.6 If you could move from village to village, from village to city, from one social class to another—and surely the dis­ruptions of intra-European wars played a part in the new

186 NATURAL CAUSES THE INVENTION OF THE SELF 187

mobility—you have to constantly monitor the impression you are making on others. At the same time, those oth­ers are becoming less trustworthy; you cannot be sure what true "self" lies behind the façade.

Related to the rise of capitalism—though how related has long been a subject of debate—was the religious innovation represented by Protestantism, which midwifed the soul's transformation into the modern notion of the self Pre-Reformation Catholics could ensure a blissful postmortem existence by participating in the sacraments or donating large sums to the church, but Protestants and especially Calvinists were assigned to perpetual introspection in an attempt to make their souls acceptable to God. Every transient thought and inclination had to be monitored for the slightest sinful impulse. As science and secularism chipped away at the notion of God, the habit of introspection remained. Psycho­analyst Garth Amundson writes:

People continued to look inward, into the private life of the mind, so as to locate essential truths about their lives, though without the additional notion that these truths are the fruit of a dialogue with God's presence within the self Hence, the Deity that Augustine thought that we discover by looking within the self was dethroned, and replaced by an invigorating confrontation with powerful private emo­tional states, fantasies, hopes, and needs. An authentic and immediate awareness of one's affective experience became the new center around which to create a life lived truthfully and "fully." In this way, the development of the private life of the self became something of an object of worship.7

Or, as somewhat more simply put by a Spanish historian, "the modern Rousseauist self, which feels and creates its own existence, would appear to be the heir to attributes previously assigned to God."8

In our own time, the language of self-regard has taken on a definite religious quality. We are instructed to "believe" in ourselves, "esteem" ourselves, be true to ourselves, and, above all, "love" ourselves, because otherwise how could anyone else love us? The endless cornucopia of "self-help" advice that began to overflow in the twentieth century en­joins us to be our own "best friends," to indulge ourselves, make time for ourselves, and often celebrate ourselves. If words like "believe" do not sufficiently suggest a religious stance, one site even urges us to "worship ourselves" by creating a shrine to oneself, which might include photos (probably "selfies"), favorite items of jewelry, and "nice smelling things such as perfume, candles or incense"' The self may seem like a patently false deity to worship, but it is no more—and no less—false than the God enshrined in recognized religions. Neither the self nor God is demon­strably present to everyone. Both require the exertion of

belief

In today's capitalist culture the self has been further ob­jectified into a kind of commodity demanding continual effort to maintain—a "brand:' Celebrities clearly have well-defined "brands," composed of their talents, if any, their "personalities," and their physical images, all of which can be monetized and sold. Even lowly aspirants toward wealth and fame are encouraged to develop a brand and project it confidently into the world, and never mind if it is indistin‑

188 NATURAL CAUSES THE INVENTION OF THE SELF 189

guishable from that of millions of other people—cheerful, upbeat, and "positive-thinking" has been a favorite since the 1950s, both for office workers and CEOs. If some darker self, containing fears, resentments, and doubts, re­mains under your carefully constructed exterior, it is up to you to keep it under wraps. Internal "affirmations"—"i am confident, I am lovable, and I will be successful"—are thought to do the trick.

What could go wrong? Of course, with the introduction of "self-knowledge" and "self-love," one enters an endless hail of mirrors: How can the self be known to the self, and who is doing the knowing? If we love ourselves, who is doing the loving? This is the inescapable paradox of self-reflection: How can the self be both the knower and the content of what is known, both the subject and the object, the lover and that which is loved? Other people can be annoying, as Sartre famously suggested, but true hell is perpetual im­prisonment in the self. Many historians have argued that the rise of self-awareness starting in roughly the seventeenth century was associated with the outbreak of an epidemic of

"melancholy" in Europe at about the same time, and subjec­tive accounts of that disorder correspond very closely with

what we now call "depression." ° Chronic anxiety, taking the form of "neurasthenia" in the nineteenth century, seems to be another disease of modernism. The self that we love and nurture turns out to be a fragile, untrustworthy thing.

Unlike the "soul" that preceded it, the self is mortal. When we are advised to "come to terms with" our mortal‑

ity, we are not only meant to ponder our decaying corpses, but the almost unthinkable prospect of a world without us

in it, or more precisely, a world without me in it, since I can, unfortunately, imagine a world without other people, even those I love most. A world without me, without a con­scious "subject" to behold it, seems inherently paradoxical. As philosopher Herbert Fingarette writes:

Could I imagine this familiar world continuing in exis­tence even though I no longer exist? If I tried, it would be a world imagined by me.... Yes, I can imagine a world with­out me in it as an inhabitant. But I can't imagine a world as unimagined by me. My consciousness of that world is in-eliminable, and so, too, therefore, is my reaction to it. But this falsifies the meaning of my death, since its distinctive feature is that there won't be consciousness of, or reaction to, anything whatsoever. 11

We are, most of the time, so deeply invested in the idea of an individual conscious self that it becomes both logically and emotionally impossible to think of a world without it. A physician who had narrowly escaped death more than once writes:

Whenever I've tried wrapping my mind around the con­cept of my own demise—truly envisioned the world con­tinuing on without me, the essence of what I am utterly gone forever—I've unearthed a fear so overwhelming my mind has been turned aside as if my imagination and the idea of my own end were two magnets of identical polarity, unwilling to meet no matter how hard I tried to make

i 12

tnem.

190 NATURAL CAUSES THE INVENTION OF THE SELF 191

We may all imagine that some trace of ourselves will persist in the form of children and others whom we have influenced, or through the artifacts and intellectual prod­ucts we leave behind. At the same time I know, though, that the particular constellation of memories, fantasies, and am­bitions that is, for example, me will be gone. The unique—or so I like to imagine—thrum of my consciousness will be silenced, never to sound again. "All too often," wrote philosopher Robert C. Solomon, "we approach death with the self-indulgent thought that my death is a bad thing be­cause it deprives the universe ofme" (italics in the original).13 Yet if we think about it, the universe survives the deaths of about fifty-five million unique individuals a year quite nicely.

In the face of death, secular people often scramble to ex­pand their experiences or memorialize themselves in some lasting form. They may work their way through a "bucket list" of adventures and destinations or struggle to complete a cherished project. Or if they are at all rich or famous, they may dedicate their final years and months to the creation of

a legacy, such as a charitable foundation, in the same spirit as an emperor might plan his mausoleum. One well-known

public figure of my acquaintance devoted some of his last months to planning a celebration of his life featuring adu­latory speeches by numerous dignitaries including himself. Sadly, a couple of decades later, his name requires some ex­planation.

So the self becomes an obstacle to what we might call, in the fullest sense, "successful aging." I have seen accom­plished people consumed in their final years with jockeying for one last promotion or other mark of recognition, or crankily defending their reputation against critics and po­tential critics. This is all that we in the modern world have learned how to do. And when we acquire painful neuroses from our efforts to promote and protect ourselves, we often turn to forms of therapy that require us to burrow even more deeply into ourselves. As Amundson writes, "the psy­chotherapy patient looks within for the truth, and comes away, not with anything that is considered universally valid or absolute in a metaphysical sense, but with a heightened and intensified devotion to such individualistic creeds as 'being true to oneself,' 'loving oneself,' and 'practicing self-care."' 14

There is one time-honored salve for the anxiety of ap­proaching self-dissolution, and that is to submerge oneself into something "larger than oneself," some imagined super-being that will live on without us. The religious martyr dies for God, the soldier for the nation or, if his mind cannot encompass something as large as the nation, at least for the regiment or platoon. War is one of the oldest and most widespread human activities, and warriors are expected to face death willingly in battle, hoping to be memorialized in epics like the Iliad or the Mahabharata or in one of the war monuments that have sprung up since the nineteenth century. For frightened soldiers or, later, their grieving sur­vivors, dying is reconfigured as a "sacrifice"—the "ultimate

sacrifice"—with all the ancient religious connotations of an offering to the gods. And in case thoughts of eventual glory

are not enough to banish fear, the US military is increas­ingly adopting the tools of alternative medicine, including

192 NATURAL CAUSES THE INVENTION OF THE SELF 193

meditation, dietary supplements, and reiki.'5 The expecta­ From San Diego up to Maine

tion, though, is that true soldiers die calmly and without In every mine and mill

regret. As Winston Churchill said of poet and World War I Where workers strike and organize

recruit Rupert Brooke: Says he, You'llfindJoe Hill 17

He expected to die: he was willing to die for the dear En­gland whose beauty and majesty he knew: and he advanced towards the brink in perfect serenity, with absolute con­viction of the rightness of his country's cause and a heart devoid of hate for fellow-men. 16

But you don't have to be a warrior to face death with equanimity. Anyone who lives for a cause like "the revolu­tion" is entitled to imagine that cause being carried on by fresh generations, so that one's own death becomes a tem­porary interruption in a great chain of endeavor. Some stumble and fall or simply age out, but others will come along to carry on the work. As an old labor song about Joe Hill, a labor activist who was framed for murder and exe­cuted in 1915, tells us, it's as if death never happened at all:

I dreamed lsaw Joe Hill last night Alive as you or me

Says I, But Joe, you're ten years dead I never died, says he

In ever  died, says he...

Where working men are out on strike .Joe Hill is at their side

Joe Hill is at their side

The revolutionary lives and dies for her people, secure in her belief that someone else will pick up the banner when she falls. To the true believer, individual death is incidental. A luta continua.

The idea of a super-being that will outlive us as individ­uals is not entirely delusional. Human beings are among the most sociable of living creatures. Studies of orphaned infants in World War II showed that even if kept warm and adequately fed, infants who were not held and touched "failed to thrive" and eventually died.18 Socially isolated adults are less likely to survive trauma and disease than those embedded in family and community. We delight in occasions for unified, collective expression, whether in the form of dancing, singing, or chanting for a demagogue. Even our most private thoughts are shaped by the structure of language, which is of course also our usual medium of in­teraction with others. And as many have argued, we are ever more tightly entangled by the Internet into a single global mind—although in a culture as self-centric as ours, the In­ternet can also be used as a mirror, or a way to rate ourselves by the amount of attention we are getting from others, the number of likes.

It is the idea of a continuous chain of human experience and endeavor that has kept me going through an unexpect­edly long life. I will stumble and fall; in fact, I already stum‑

194 NATURAL CAUSES THE INVENTION OF THE SELF 195

ble a lot, but others will pick up the torch and continue the race. It's not only "my work"—forgive the pompous phrase—that I bequeath to my survivors but all the mental and sensual pleasures that come with being a living human: sitting in the spring sunshine, feeling the warmth of friends, solving a difficult equation. All that will go on without me. I am content, in the time that remains, to be a transient cell in the larger human super-being.

But there are flaws in this philosophic perspective. For one thing, it is entirely anthropocentric. Why shouldn't our "great chain of being" include the other creatures with which we have shared the planet, the creatures we have mar­tyred in service to us or driven out of their homes to make way for our expansion? Surely we have some emotional at­tachment to them, even if it is hard to imagine passing the figurative torch to dogs or, in one of the worst scenarios, in­sects and microbes.

Then there is a deeper, more existential problem with my effort to derive some comfort from the notion of an ongoing human super-being: Our species itself appears to be mortal and, in many accounts, imminently doomed, most likely to die by our own hand, through global warming or nuclear war. Some scientists put the chance of a "near extinction event," in which up to 10 percent of our species is wiped out, at a little over 9 percent within a hundred years.19 Others doubt our species will survive the current century. As environmen­talist Daniel Drumright writes—and I can only hope he is an alarmist—with the growing awareness of extinction, "We're dealing with a discovery of such epic proportion that it sim­ply reduces everything in existence to nothing." He goes on to say that our emerging circumstances require "a diabolic consciousness to which no living human being has ever had to bear witness. It is an awareness which requires a degree of emotional maturity that's almost indistinguishable from in­sanity within western culture."20

If your imagination is vigorous enough, you may take comfort from the likely existence of other forms of life throughout the universe. Earth-sized planets abound, poten­tially offering other habitats similar to our own, with rea­sonable temperatures and abundant water. In addition, sci-fi fans know that our vision of life based on carbon and water is likely to be far too provincial. There may be life forms based on other chemicals, or self-reproducing entities that do not even consist of conventional matter—patterns of energy bursts, oscillating currents, gluttonous black holes; already we have artificial life in the form of computer programs that can reproduce and evolve to meet changing circumstances. And—who knows?—some of these "life" forms may be suit­able heirs for our species, capable of questing and loving.

But even here our yearning for immortality runs into a wall, because the universe itself will come to an end if cur­rent predictions are borne out, whether in 2.8 or 22 billion years from now, which of course still gives us plenty of time to get our things in order. In one scenario there will be a "big crunch" in which expansionist forces will rip even atoms apart. In another, the night sky will empty out, the huge void spaces now separating galaxies will grow until they swallow everything. Vacuum and perfect darkness will prevail. Both scenarios lead to the ultimate nightmare of a world "without us in it," and it is infinitely bleaker than a

196 NATURAL CAUSES

world without our individual selves—a world, if you can call it that, without anything in it, not the tiniest spark of consciousness or wisp of energy or matter. To cruelly para­phrase Martin Luther King, the arc of history is long, but it bends toward catastrophic annihilation.



214 ENDNOTES ENDNOTES 215


CHAPTER TEN: "SUCCESSFUL AGING"

1. Chris Crowley and Henry S. Lodge, Younger Next Year: Live Strong, Fit, and Sexy—Until You're 80 and Beyond (New York: Workman, 2004), 49.

2. Ibid., 111.

3. "Jeanne Calment," Wikipedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ Jeanne_Calment.

4. Sarah Lamb et aL,SuccessfulAgingasa Contemporary Obsession: Global Perspectives. (New Brunswick, NJ: Rutgers University Press, 2017).

2. The Gerontologist published its February 2015 edition as a "Special Issue on Successful Aging," reflecting on the concept's past and fu­ture. Beyond gerontology proper, see also the Spring 2015 issue of Daedalus: Journal ofthe American Academy ofthe Arts and Sciences, dedicated to the "Successful Aging of Societies." See also John W. Rowe and Robert L. Kahn, "Successful Aging 2.0: Conceptual Ex­pansions for the 21st Century,"Journals of Gerontology, Series B: Psychological Sciences and Social Sciences 70, no.4 (2015): 593-96.

1. The full name of this conference was "European Year for Active Aging and Solidarity Between Generations." See http://ec.europa.eu/archives/ey2012/.

4. Sarah Lamb, "Permanent Personhood or Meaningful Decline? Toward a Critical Anthropology of Successful Aging"JournalofAging Studies 29(2014): 41-52, https://medschool.vanderbilt.edu/ psychiatry-geriatric-fellowship/ftles/psychiatry-geriatric-fellowshjp/ public_files/Aging%20-%20meaningfui%20decline.pdf.

5. Crowley and Lodge, Younger Next Year, 29.

6. Richard Conniff, "The Hunger Gains: Extreme Calorie-Restriction Diet Shows Anti-Aging Results," ScientficAmerican, February 16, 2016, wwwscientificamerican.com/article/the-hunger-gains-extreme-calorie-restriction-diet-shows-anti-aging-results!.

7. Roger Landry, "The Person Who Will Live to Be 150 Is Alive Today—Could He Be You?," US. News & World Report, August 19,2015, via Yahoo News, www.yahoo.com/news/person-live-i 50-alive-today-could-i 1000011 5.html?ref=gs.

ii. Quoted in Lynne Segal, Out of Time: The Pleasures and the Perils of

Ageing (New York: Verso, 2014), 178.

12. Deirdre Carmody, "At Lunch With: Betty Friedan; Trying to Dispel 'The Mystique ofAge' at 72," New York Times, September 15, 1993, wwwnytimes.com!books!99!05!09!specials!friedan-lunch.html.

13. U.S. Census Bureau, "Mobility Is Most Common Disability Among Older Americans, Census Bureau Reports," press release, December 2, 2014, www.census.gov!newsroom!press-releases! 2014,/cbl4-218.html.

14. Stewart Green, "Death on Mount Everest," ThoughtCo., March 2, 2017, www.thoughtco.com/death-on-mount-everest-755907.

15. See, for example, International Mountain Guides, www.mountainguides.com!everest-south.shtml.

16. Paula Span, "High Disability Rates Persist in Old Age," New York Times, July 8, 2013, http:!!newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com!2013! 07!08!high-disability-rates-persist-in-old-age!?_r=0.

17. Cavan Sieczkowski, "Blake Lively Announces Lifestyle Company Similar to Gwyneth Paltrow's GOOP," Huffing-ton Post, September 26,2013, www.huffingtonpost.com!2013!09!26!blake-lively-lifestyle-company_n_3997565.html.

18. Molly Young, "How Amanda Chantal Bacon Perfected the Celebrity Wellness Business," New York Times Magazine, May 25, 2017, www.nytimes.com!2017!05!25!magazine!how-amanda-chantal-bacon-perfected-the-celebrity-wellness-business.html.

19. "The Importance of Touch for Seniors," TheArborsBlog, March 23, 2017, http:!!blog.arborsassistedliving.com!importance-of-touch-for-seniors.

232 ENDNOTES

20. Siyi Chen, "Intimacy for Rent: Inside the Business of Paid Cud­dling," Quartz, October 6, 2016, https://qz.com/779547/ intimacy-for-rent-inside-the-business-of-paid-cuddling!.

21. Martha Savaria Morris, "The Role of B Vitamins in Preventing and Treating Cognitive Impairment and Decline ," Advances in Nutrition 3 (2012): 801-12, http://advances.nutrition.org/content/3!6/801.ftill.

22. Katarzyna Szarc yel Szic, Ken Declerck, Melita Vidakovi, and Wim Vanden Berghe, "From Ilillammaging to Healthy Aging by Dietary Lifestyle Choices: Is Epigenetics the Key to Personalized Nutrition?," Clinical Epigen etics 7, no. 1 (2015): 33, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc!articles!PMC4389409/.

23. "Blocking Brain Inflammation 'Halts Alzheimer's Disease," BBC News, January 8, 2016, www.bbc.com!news!health-35254649.

24. Philip Roth, Everyman (Boston: Houghton Muffin Harcourt, 2006), 155.

25. Kathryn Higgins, "The Immune Cell, the Neutrophil—The Good, the Bad, or the Ugly?," Brainwaves, February 21, 2012, wwwsciencebrainwaves.com/the-immune-cell-the-neutrophiF the-good-the-bad-or-the-ugly!.

26. Alfred I. Tauber, The Immune Self, 8.

21. Quoted in Mary Roach, Stiff. The Curious Lives ofHuman Cadav­ers (New York: W. W. Norton, 2003), 68.




CHAPTER ELEVEN: THE INVENTION OF THE SELF

1. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, "A Psalm of Life," Poetry Foundation, wwwpoetryfoundation.org!poems-and-poets/poems/detail/44644.

2. Gary Petty, "What Does the Bible Say About the 'Immortal Soul,'" Beyond Today, July 15, 1999, www.ucg.org!the-good-news! what-does-the-bible-say-about-the-immortal-soul.

3. Lionel Trilling, Sincerity andAuthenticity (Cambridge, MA: Har­vard University Press, 1973), 19.

4. Jean-Jacques Rousseau, The Confessions and Correspondence, Including the Letters toMalesherbes, trans. Christopher Kelly (Hanover, NH: University Press of New England, 1995), ebook, location 693.

2. John 0. Lyons, The Invention of the Se'f: The Hinge of Consciousness in the Eighteenth Century (Carbondale: Southern Illinois Univer­sity Press, 1978).

3. "Martin Guerre," Wikipedia, https:!/en.wikIpediaorj/ Martin-Guerre.

4. Garth Amundson, "Psychotherapy, Religion, and the Invention of the Self," Therapy View: Musings on the Work and Play ofPsy-chotherapy, November 1, 2015, https://'therapyviews.com,/2015/ 1 1/01!do-psychiatric-drugs-offer-a-meaningful-resolutionof. human-suffering!.

5. Marino Perez-Alvarez, "Hyperreflexivity as a Condition of Mental Disorder: A Clinical and Historical Perspective," Psi cothema 20, no.2 (2008):181-87.

6. "Worshiping Yourself," The Twisted Rope, March 6, 2014, https:/!thetwistedrope.wordpress.com/2014/03/06,'worshiping yourself!.

4. Barbara Ehrenreich, Dancing in the Streets:A History of Collective Joy (New York: Metropolitan Books, 2006).

5. Herbert Fingarette, Death: Philosophical Soundings (Chicago: Open Court, 1999),34-35.

6. Alex Lickerman, "Overcoming the Fear of Death," Psychology To­day, October 8, 2009, ww'psychologytoday.com!blog!happiness-in-world!200910!overcoming-the-fear-death.

6. Robert C. Solomon, Spiritualityfor the Skeptic: The Thoughtful Love ofLfi' (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2006), 120.

7. Amundson, "Psychotherapy, Religion, and the Invention of the Self."

8. Noah Shachtman, "Troops Use 'Samurai' Meditation to Soothe PTSD," Wired, October 8, 2008, www.wired.com/2008/10/ samurai-soldier!.

9. "Rupert Brooke's Obituary in The Times,"

http:!!exhibits.lib.byu.edu/wwi!poets/rbobituary.html.

8. "Joe Hill," Union Songs, http:!!unionsong.com/u017.html.

9. Daniel Goleman, "The Experience of Touch: Research Points of a Critical Role," New York Times, February 2, 1988, www.nytimes.com/l 988!02!02!science!the-experience-of-touch-research-points-to-a-critical-role.html ?pagewanted=all.

10. Robinson Meyer, "Human Extinction Isn't That Unlikely," Atlan­tic, April 29, 2016, www.theatlantic.com!technology!archive! 2016!04!a-human-extinction-isnt-that-unlikely!480444!.

11. "The Irreconcilable Acceptance of Near-Term Extinction," Nature Bats Last, April 28, 2013, https:!!guymcpherson.com,'2013/04! the-irreconcilable-acceptance-of-near-term-extinction!.

234 ENDNOTES

CHAPTER TWELVE: KILLING THE SELF, REJOICING IN A

LIVING WORLD

1. "Jacques Monod," Today in Science History,

https : //todayinsci.com/M/Monodjacques/MonodJacques-Quotations.htm.

1. "The Triumph of Abrahamic Monotheism?," Religion Today, November 2, 2011, http://religion-today.blogspot.com/201 1/11/ triumph-of-abrahamic-monotheism.html.

3. Jessica Riskin, The Restless Clock: A History ofthe Centuries-Long Argument over What Makes Things Tick (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2016), 3.

1. Jackson Lears, "Material Issue," The Baffler, no. 32 (September 2016), https://thebaffler.com/salvos/material-issue-lears.

George Dvorsky; "Prominent Scientists Sign Declaration That Ani­mals Have Conscious Awareness, Just Like Us," Gizmodo, August 23, 2012, http://io9.gizmodo.com/5937356/prominent-scientists-sign-declaration-that-animals-have-conscious-awareness-just-like-us.

Stephen Hawking, "The Origin of the Universe," Hawking.org.uk, wwhawking.org.uk/the-origin-of-the-universe.html.

Rolf Ent, Thomas Ullrich, and Raju Venugopalan, "The Glue That Binds Us," ScientficAmeri can, May 2015, www.bnLgov/physics/ NTG/linkablejiles/pdf/SciAm-Glue-Final.pdf.

5. David Rieff, Swimming in a Sea ofDeath: A Son's Memoir (New York, Simon & Schuster, 2008), 167.

6. Ibid.

1. Michael Pollan, "The Trip Treatment," New Yorker, February 9, 2015, www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/02/09/trip-treatment.

Ibid.

8. Ibid.

1. Simon G. Powell, Magic Mushroom Explorer: Psilocybin and the AwakeningEarth (South Paris, ME: Park Street Press, 2015), 30.

Pollan, "The Trip Treatment."

"Bertolt Brecht: When in My White Room at the Charité," repro­duced at Tom Clark Beyond the Pale, January 12, 2012, http://tomclarkblog.blogspot.com/2012/01/bertolt-brecht-when-in-my-white-room-at.html.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Barbara Ehrenreich is the author of more than a dozen books, including the New York Times bestseller Nickel and Dimed. She has a PhD in cellular immunology from Rockefeller University and writes frequently about health care and medical science, among many other subjects. She lives in Virginia.

Natural

Causes

Life, Death

and the Illusion

of Control

Barbara Ehrenreich

GRANTA

고독한 예언자 이신의 그림에서 상상하다 : 마음산책 : 휴심정 : 뉴스 : 한겨레

고독한 예언자 이신의 그림에서 상상하다 : 마음산책 : 휴심정 : 뉴스 : 한겨레


고독한 예언자 이신의 그림에서 상상하다

등록 :2021-10-20 20:58수정 :2021-10-20 21:45
조현 기자 사진
조현 기자



깃발이 나부끼는 듯한 느낌의 이신 박사의 그림. 이신 목사는 생전에 동학에 대한 논문을 쓰기도 했다. 사진 조현 기자

시대를 앞서간 고독한 예언자의 전시회가 열리고 있다.

화가이자 목사이자 신학자였던 이신 박사(본명·이만수 1927~1981)의 유고전이다. 지난 16일 시작돼 22일까지 서울 종로구 율곡로 24 4층 도화아트에서 열리는 이신 유고전은 ‘이신, SR@XR’란 이름으로 열린다. SR은 Surrealism(초현실주의)의 약어이고, XR은 eXtended Reality(확장 현실)의 약어다.

이신이 50~60년 전에 그린 그림의 상상력은 지금 생각해도 놀라울 정도다.초현실적으로 담겨진 지구와 인간의 절규가 리얼리즘이 된 현실에서 더욱 적확한 예언자의 울림이 아닐 수 없다.

이신은 10대때인 일제 강점기 중국에서 열린 중일 미술대전에 입선할 만큼 일찍부터 그림에 두각을 나타냈다. 그는 20대때 한국미술협회 전람회에 입선했고, 남부의 하버드로 꼽히던 밴드빌트대학 유학시절에 미국 네브라스카주 백주년기념미술전에 최고상을 수상했다.



화가이자 목사이자 신학자였던 이신.



이신 박사의 전시회장을 지키고 있는 딸 이은선 세종대 명예교수(왼쪽)과 사위 이정배 전 감신대 교수 및 목사. 사진 조현 기자

그는 미국에서 고학을 하면서 그림을 그려 학비와 생활비를 마련하고, 고국의 아내와 자녀들까지 돌봐야했다.

전남 여수 돌산의 크리스천 집안에서 태어난 그는 일제 때 명문인 부산상고(당시 부산초량상업학교)를 졸업했다. 고교시절부터 부산시립도서관의 미술 관련 책을 모두 다 읽었을 정도로 그림에 심취했다.

상고 졸업 뒤 당시로는 최고의 직장으로 꼽혔던 은행에 취직했으나 그는 신학을 공부하기로 결정했다.

남들이 하나같이 말렸지만 그는 이미 결혼까지 한 몸임에도 돈벌이를 중단하고, 신학공부를 택했다.

해방 직후인 1946년 감신대에 입학해 1950년 6·25 직전에 감신대를 졸업하고, 충청도 전의에서 전도사 생활을 시작했다. 그러나 곧 6·25가 터지자 고향인 전라도로 돌아갔다. 그 때 전라도일대엔 ‘한국 그리스도교 교회 환원 운동’이 일어났다. 그 때부터 이미 한국 교회의 고질병이던모든 교파의 분열을 거두고 신약시대의 교회로 돌아가 외국 선교사의 입김으로부터 벗어나 한국적인 교회로서 일치하자는 성령 운동이었다.



이신 박사가 미국 유학시절 열었던 전시회 포스트. 사진 조현 기자



이신 박사의 그림. 사진 조현 기자

그가 ‘한국 그리스도교회’ 목사 안수를 받은 것은 51년이었다. 자신의 이름을 ‘오래 산다’는 뜻의 이만수(李萬壽)에서 ‘믿음’이라는 이신(李信)으로 고친 것도 그 때였다.

주류 교단을 두고, 그가 ‘한국 그리스도의 교회’ 목사 안수를 받음으로써 그의 ‘외로운’ 삶이 시작됐다.

서울과 충청도 일대의 작은 교회에서 목회 활동을 하던 이신은 40살이라는 늦깎이로 미국 유학길에 올랐다. 그곳에서 그림을 그려 학비를 조달하고 서울 명륜동 산동네에 두고 온 아내와 4남매의 생활까지 책임져야 하는 고달픈 유학생이었다.

이신의 미국유학은 눈물의 길이었다. 중3이던 맏딸이 뇌막염으로 숨을 거뒀지만 귀국도 못한채 이역만리에서 눈물을 삼켜야했다. 명문 밴더빌트 대학에서 박사 학위를 받고 71년 귀국했지만 주요 교단 소속이 아니던 그를 받아주는 곳은 없었다. 국내 어느 신학자도 따르기 어려울 만큼영어와 일어만이 아니라 히브리어, 헬라어까지 능통한 지성이었지만, 그는 주요 대학에 진출하지 못한 채 산동네 목회를 계속 해야 했다. 그는 산동네에서 정신박약아들을 모아 그림을 그리게하고, 글을 모르는 부녀자들에게 글을 가르쳤지만, 마을 사람들은 “미국에서 박사까지 따온 사람이 저게 뭐하는 짓이냐”고 비웃었다.





이신 박사의 그림. 사진 조현 기자



이신 박사의 그림. 사진 조현 기자

설상가상으로 75년엔 정부의 무허가 판자촌 철거 정책으로 오두막까지 헐려 그는 괴산의 산골교회로 떠났다. 그곳에서 이신은 손수 돌을 주워 아름다운 교회를 지었고, 새벽이면 냉수마찰을 한뒤 ‘육안으로는 보이지 않은 세계’를 화폭에 담았다. 해방 직후 은행원들 상당수가 적산가옥을 불하받아 큰돈을 챙기고, 한국전쟁 이후 영어에 능통한 목사들은 선교사들의 지원으로 누구보다 잘나갔고, 70년대 ‘미국박사’라면 금값을 주고 모셔갔지만,이신은 매번 부귀영화와 신앙의 갈림길에서 자신의 신념을 택했다. 죽는 것보다 못한 떳떳하지 못한 삶을 살지 않기 위해서였다.

이신의 둘째딸인 전 여신학자협희회장 이은선 세종대 명예교수(교육철학)는 “아버지는 어려운 삶 속에서도 자식들에게 그 무엇에도 얽매이지 말고 창조적으로 살다갈 것을 격려했다”고 회고한다. 이은선 교수의 남편인 이정배 감신대 교수는 스승인 전 감신대학장 변선환 교수와 그의 친구인 이신의 중매로 결혼했다. 그는 “결혼 전 장인이 돌아가시기 전 3번을 뵈었는데, ‘나는 민중신학자들보다 더 가난하게 살았네. 그러나 가난보다 더 힘든 것은 상상력의 결핍, 상상력의 부패지’라고 한말을 잊을 수 없다”고 말했다.

이신의 유적 이은화, 이은선, 이윤 이경은 이렇게 초대의 글을 썼다.



다 말라비틀어진 어머니의 젗을 빠는 듯한, 이신 박사의 그림. 사진 조현 기자

“상상력이 그 어느 때보다도 인간을 인간되게 하는 근원적 면모이자 능력으로 중요하게 인식되는 오늘날, 이신이 경고했던 ‘의식의 둔화’와 ‘상상력의 부패’는 우리에게 사실적 종말을 걱정하게 하는 여러 위기 상황을 이 세계에 초래하며, 우리는 이 위기를 극복할 ‘창조적인 이벤트 메이킹’으로서의 행이와 사건을 절실히 필요로 한다”

‘리좀-심은록 미술연구소 소장’인 심은록 동국대 겸임교수는 “이신은 선택한 시공간과 관점 하에서 중요한 신학이나 사상을 적용하여 현실에서는 실천 양식으로 삼고, 미술에서는 재현 방식으로 삼았다”며 “그는 초현실주의라는 시공간적 프레임을 선택하고, 거기에 묵시론적 관점과 니체의 초인 사상을 전개하여, 최고로 고양된 상상력을 실현했다”고 밝혔다.

지독한 가난과 소외 속에서도 결코 굴하지않고, 상상력과 창조력의 등불을 높이들었던 이신의 그림들은 우리가 문명의 톱니바퀴 속에서 뒹구는 티끌이 되어버린 것은 아닌지 자화상을 돌아보게 한다.

조현 종교전문기자 cho@hani.co.kr

원문보기:
https://www.hani.co.kr/arti/well/mind/1015993.html?fbclid=IwAR2miRyYQaIhKEPpArxiVqr71RjlTRc4OQvee0QPYDi5SyfkNZykvWbtRVM#csidxc7893d71159126cb023b1274d9ad817

2021/10/20

Sungsoo Kim [Obituary] Hangwoo Lee (1930-2021), a quite Quaker and an active Peacemaker

Facebook


김성수 
Sungsoo Kim

[Obituary] Hangwoo Lee (1930-2021), a quite Quaker and an active Peacemaker

In 1985, I began to attend the Quaker Meeting in Seoul, South Korea where I met Hangwoo Lee. One Sunday afternoon, after a Meeting for Worship, Lee gave a talk about his visit to North Korea. As my father was a North Korean refugee, I listened to Lee's fascinating talk with great interest. At that time, South Korea was ruled by a military dictatorship, thus Lee's talk on North Korea was a forbidden topic. Naturally Seoul Friends were very cautious about possible interference by the military regime.

Lee was a Korean-American Quaker and visited South and North Korea nearly every year and whenever he came to Seoul Quaker Meeting, we talked about North Korea. Thus, he was blacklisted by the military regime of South Korea.
In 1960, together with a well-known Korean Quaker, Ham Sok Hon (1901-1989), Lee founded a Korean Quaker Meeting in Seoul. In 1968, Lee went to Pendle Hill (Quaker Study Center in the USA) to study Quakerism for a year then he settled in Philadelphia with his family. He worked there as a computer analyst and retired in 2003, when he was 73 years old. However, he did not even own a home of his own and he spent most of his wages and holidays working for the peaceful reunification movement of two Koreas.

Rather than going on family holidays with his wife and children, he met government officials and lawmakers of the USA, North Korea, China, Japan, and Europe and with them, he discussed, appealed and sought a way for the peaceful reunification of two Koreas. Moreover, Lee spent most of his wages on publishing reports on Korea's peaceful reunification issues and sent money to help South Korean dissidents and political prisoners.

He was not a good speaker, but he was a quiet man of action. He spoke through his life.
In 1974, he founded a 'Meeting for Suffering for Koreans in the USA to help and support South Korean dissidents and their families
In 1982, as one of the delegates of the American Friends Service Committee (Quakers), he visited North Korea and tried to promote peace between the two Koreas. Since then, he has visited North Korea more than 40 times with this goal in mind. 
In 1986 he founded the 'Korea-US Public Relations Center' in the USA, where he published a 'Korean Report' in the English language, which was widely read among the US lawmakers, officials, activists, and journalists as well as the overseas Korean experts.
In 1987, he also founded the 'Korean Support Network (KSN)' in the USA and through the KSN, he not only supported South Korea's democratization movement but also raised public awareness among American politicians, officials, and scholars in relations to South Korean democracy.
In 1993, when North Koreans suffered famine, as one of delegates of AFSC, he visited North Korea and supported agriculture facilities there.
In 1995, Lee founded the 'Peaceful Reunification Institute for two Koreas' in the USA, and the institute published various papers on peaceful reunification issues of two Koreas.

Lee laid the foundation for the peaceful relations between the two Koreas and due to his relentless contribution, in June 2000, South Korean president, Kim Dae-jung, was able to visit North Korea and held a summit meeting with the North Korean leader Kim Jung-il. It was the first summit meeting of the two Korean leaders since the cease fire of the Korean War in 1953. Subsequently in October 2000, Kim Dae-jung received the Nobel Peace Prize, thanks to Lee's invisible toil and effort.

In 2009, Lee led an International Conference on 'Ending of Arms Race in the Asia-Pacific Region.'
Due to his contribution, in 2011, Lee received the 'Korean Reunification Culture Award' from South Korea.

In 2013, after 45 years of life in the USA, Lee returned to South Korea for good. After that I was able to meet him every week at Seoul Quaker Meeting. During this time, Lee gave me courage, comfort and inspiration while I was engaged in a lawsuit against a right wing government minister. Thanks to his kind support, in 2016, I won this legal battle. http://english.khan.co.kr/khan_art_view.html?artid=201606031507077&code=710100&fbclid=IwAR3KjQri4-g9X-tfQVThmjrvLpI024-2sgqMGiqm4PitJjRmjIsHtHDXpsc
In August 2020, Lee received the 'Liberation and Peace Award' from the South Korean government on recognition of his contribution for peaceful reunification of two Koreas.
In September 2021, when I rang him by an international telephone call, he was on his sickbed and he said to me , "Sungsoo, let's live cheerfully!" He passed away in the morning of 16th October 2021 of prolonged cancer. To me, he was like a father figure, and he talked to me through his life. An active peacemaker and quiet Quaker, Hangwoo Lee, I miss you!

* Sungsoo Kim is a member of Seoul Monthly Meeting and Leicester Quaker Meeting of Britain Yearly Meeting of Religious Society of Friends. He is author of 'Biography of a Korean Quaker, Ham Sok Hon.'
** Photos: Hangwoo Lee with Sungsoo Kim








Hyun Ju Kim ‘바울의 그리스도교’

Facebook

Hyun Ju Kim
Sp0on7oe3hd  · 
로만 가톨릭에 프로테스트하며 출발한 (개신)그리스도교는 성서종교 중에서 헬레니즘식 성서 해석에 대한 의존도가 가장 높을 수밖에 없다. 여기에 로마 시민이었던 바울의 기여가 컸음은 신약성서에서 바울 저작의 구성비가 압도적으로 크다는 것에서도 드러난다. 나는 이러한 현상을 ‘바울의 그리스도교’라고 부르고 싶다. 

예수는 역사 속에서 그리스도라는 실체를 현상적으로 보여주고 떠났다. 그리스도라는 역사적 사건의 흔적을 추슬러 교회 공동체와 그들의 삶으로 구성한 이는 바울이기 때문이다. 유대인이자 헬라인이었던 바울의 이중적인 정체성은 제국의 시민으로서 복잡한 이해관계 속에서 복음을 수용하고 체계를 잡고 전달하는 일에 유용했다. 그러나 스스로는 자신이 살아가는 맥락 속에 진리의 내용을 어떻게 담을까 고민하였을 것이고 끝내 균형을 잃을까 두려웠을 것이다. 그가 지울 수 없는 양피지에 편지를 새길 때 얼마나 신중했을지 짐작하고도 남는다. 그렇지만 그는 쓰고 또 썼다. 심지어 그의 편지가 아닌 것 같지만 그의 편지라고 여기고 싶은 글들도 성서에 담겨 있을 만큼 그는 편지를 많이 썼다. 나의 어머니가 아닌 것이 확실하지만 무대에 오르는 병정들처럼, 모세가 쓰지 않았음이 분명하여도 모세의 글이라고 불리는 오경처럼, 그리스도를 결코 만난 적이 없는 바울은 독자들의 마음에 쏙 드는 그리스도의 사도였다. 성령께서 하신 일이라고 하자면 성령께서 굳이 바울하고만 소통하실 리는 만무하므로 이는 바울의 작업이라고 일단은 부르고 싶다.

  요즘 유행하는 1세기 그리스도교에서 가장 궁금한 내용은 그레코로만 문명에 토착화된 그리스도교의 본질과 껍데기가 무엇이냐는 것이다. 초대교회라고 부르면 우리가 추구하고 돌아가야 할 궁극적인 모습이라는 인상을 받지만, 그 역시 특정 정치사회문화역사적인 맥락 속에 구현된 진리의 여러 모습 중 하나일 뿐이다. 거기서 껍데기를 벗겨 내고 속에 담긴 진리의 본질을 꺼내어 우리가 속한 세계 안에 자리 잡게 하는 것이 말 그대로 선교(宣敎)이지 않을까. 그래서 우리는 바울의 편지에서 그의 속마음을 읽고 싶다. 까다롭게 챙기는 부분과 너그럽게 놔두는 영역이 무엇인지 파악하고 싶다. 

전통적인 로만 가톨릭은 로만 가톨릭의 전통을 정교하게 구축하였고, 개신교도 처음에만 개신(改新)하였지 나중에는 전통과 형식이 숲처럼 빽빽하게 자라나 햇빛이 보이지 않게 된 것 같다. 빌라도는 예수에게 “진리가 무엇이냐?”고 물었다. 요한복음에 궁극적 실재를 탐구하는 이교도 빌라도의 모습을 기록한 것은 진리가 모든 사람에게 공개되어 있음을 암시하는 것 같다. 진리는 주장되는 것이 아니라 추구되는 것이다. 어떠한 진리도 더 깊은 진리보다는 수준이 낮은 진리의 내용을 담고 있다. 

  이번 ‘바울과 하나님 나라’ 강의에서 만난 바울은 찾는 사람이었다. 그는 약할 때 강해짐을 말한다. 자신이 어리석을 때 그리스도의 지혜가 드러남을 말한다. 유대인이 낙오될 때 이방인이 복음을 받고, 이방인이 구원을 받으면 낙오자도 마침내 돌이키게 되리라고 말한다. 그는 하나님의 지혜가 무엇이라, 어떠하다고 말하기를 주저하고 ‘깊도다!’라는 감탄사로 입을 닫는다. 말로 담을 수 없는 진리를 말로 표현해야 하는 난처함을 표현한다. 한번은 어떤 이를 제거하고 상종하지 말라고 했다가 다음에는 벌이 충분하니 이제 그이를 위로하라고 했다. 너무나 많은 행위 도덕을 말하지만 궁극적으로는 하나님을 기쁘시게 하는 것이 무엇인지 그것을 하라고 또 얼버무렸다. 하나님이 누구신지도 모르는데 그분을 기쁘시게 하는 것이 무엇인지를 우리가 어떻게 알고 실천하라는 말인가

바울의 많은 편지글은 그렇게 얼버무리는 것이 최선임을 호소한다. ‘모자를 써라.’는 한마디가 이천 년 동안 여자들의 머리에 미사포를 씌울 줄을 바울은 몰랐을 것이다. 만일 알았다면 고린도교회에 수십, 수백 번째 편지를 다시 써서 교회 지도자들을 설득하려고 하였을지 모른다. 

  나는 오랫동안 바울서신이 불편했다. 구체적인 행위규범으로 가득한 바울서신은 율법보다 무겁게 느껴졌기 때문이다. 그러나 “진리가 무엇이냐?”는 빌라도의 질문으로 성서를 다시 읽으면 많은 행위규범 속에 담긴 궁극적인 진리가 어렴풋이 보일 것도 같다. 사도신경에서 예수에게 고통을 준 당사자로 지목된 빌라도는 나다. 그는 손을 씻고 물러났지만 나는 멈추지 않고 묻고 또 묻겠다. 빌라도는 군중을 두려워하였지만 나는 제도화된 교회의 권위와 안수받은 목사들과 장로들의 권위에 주눅 들지 않고 싶다. 그럴 수 있다면, 다시 바울서신을 기꺼이 들여다볼 수 있을 것 같다. 진리를 찾지는 못하더라도 해야 할 질문을 던지고 답을 기다리며 궁금해하고자 한다. 이것은 ‘바울의 그리스도교(Christianity)’이면서 동시에 ‘바울의 그리스 도교(Greek Taoism)’이래도 좋다.

#느헤미야 #바울과하나님나라 #한수현
1 comment
전남식
잘 읽었습니다.
===
"진리는 주장되는 것이 아니라 추구되는 것 ...
 나는 멈추지 않고 묻고 또 묻겠다."
- 저는 기독교인도 아니지만 같이해요.