Dalia Lama wrote:
Patience acts as a counter force to anger. In fact, for every negative state, we find that we can identify one which opposes it. For example, humility opposes pride; contentment opposes greed; perseverance opposes indolence. If, therefore, we wish to overcome the suffering which arises when negative thoughts and emotions are allowed to develop, cultivating virtue should not be seen as separate from restraining our response to them. They go hand in hand. This is why ethical discipline cannot be confined either to mere restraint or to mere affirmation of positive qualities.
To see how this process of restraint coupled with counteraction works, let us consider anxiety. We can describe this as a form of fear, but one with a well developed mental component. Now we are bound to encounter experiences and events we feel concerned about. But what turns concern into anxiety is when we start to brood and let the imagination add negative reflections. Then we begin to feel anxious and start to worry. And the more we indulge this, the more reasons we find for it. Eventually we may find ourselves in a state of permanent distress. The more developed this state, the less we are able to take action against it, and the stronger it becomes.
But when we think carefully, we3 see that underlying this process is principally narrowness of vision and a lack of proper perspective.....
the first step in overcoming anxiety is thus to develop a proper perspective of our situation. This we can do in a number of different ways. One of the most effective is to try to shift the focus of attention away from self and toward others. When we succeed in this, we find that the scale of our own problems diminishes. This is not to say we should ignore our own needs altogether, but rather that we should try to remember others' needs alongside our own, no matter how pressing ours may be. This is helpful, because when our concern for others is translated into action, we find that confidence arises automatically and worry and anxiety diminish.
Indeed, we find that almost all the mental and emotional suffering which is such a feature of modern living- including the sense of hopelessness, of loneliness, and so on- lessens the moment we begin to engage in actions motivated by concern for others. In my opinion, this explains why merely performing outwardly positive actions will not suffice to reduce anxiety. When the underlying motive is to further one's short term aims, we only add to our problems.
This book is an awesome read with countless wisdom. I am amazed and impressed with such wisdom. But this quote is only the tip of the ice berg and the book goes way more in depth.