Charlotte Kasl Quotes

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“The only sure path is to live consciously, moment to moment, as you let go of the outcome.”

― Charlotte Kasl

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“Staying loyal to your journey means you never abandon yourself by compromising your integrity or discounting your intuition or the signals that come from your body—the knot in the gut, emotional detachment, or loss of energy that signals something is amiss.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

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“Our refuge is being exactly where we are - not dramatizing problems by replaying them in our heads, telling stories to our friends, eliciting sympathy and convincing ourselves that this is a very big deal. Our refuge is in the stillness of being the compassionate witness to our panic and fear - not judging it as good or bad, just accepting the what is of the moment.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

tags: refuge, stillness11 likesLike

“Instead of trying to freeze the present moment and hang on to it, we need to remember that life is a process of constantly letting go. The ego wants dependable rituals and people who stay the same. But to be free means that we enjoy this touch, this kiss, this sunrise, and then let it go. This is sometimes described as not letting the ground under your feet get too solid, not grasping for security or predictability.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

tags: freedom, impermeance11 likesLike

“If you put sexual attraction on a scale of one to ten, where ten equals "you can't keep your hands off each other,"five equals "you can take it or leave it," and one equals "repulsed," to support a vibrant relationship, it should be at least a seven, preferably an eight, nine, or ten. With work, you might raise the attraction one notch, but because there is so much biochemistry involved in sexual attraction, it's hard to do much more than that. So if a sexual attraction doesn't evolve, remember, it's not anyone's fault and it's just the what is of your pairing, and you might make better friends than lovers.

Sexual attraction doesn't have to be instantaneous on first meeting, but it must eventually flower because it provides a basic glue for successful conjugal union. If we're not sexually alive to our beloved, it often leads to a subdued relationship, loneliness, affairs, or lots of fantasies.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

tags: attraction9 likesLike

“Every time we open one door, we close another. It's lovely to spend Sunday morning with our new love, cooking breakfast and taking a walk together. But in the midst of our happiness, we may feel nostalgia for our former Sunday morning ritual of uninterrupted time alone at a favorite restaurant reading the newspaper. We need to acknowledge the presence of both excitement and loss, to feel their rhythm as they ebb and flow through a new relationship. If we try to deny our losses, they lead to resentments, a gnawing discomfort, and a desire to withdraw.

Yet we also need to remind our ego that love means letting go of our entrenched rituals, of comparing, of wanting life to stay the same...Entering a relationship and living in the heart of the Beloved means our life will change, our shells will crack open and we will never be the same again.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

tags: change9 likesLike

“Instead of turning our heads from pain, we merge with it, neither holding on to it nor pushing it away, becoming instead an instrument of transformation. Recently, on my early morning drive to a health club, I saw a deer in the middle lane, trying to get up, but obviously crippled. Her eyes looked confused and frightened. As I drove by, I breathed in her pain and breathed out a blessing. I could feel a dark cloud swirling inside of me, but I also had an image of a deer running freely in the woods. I can never know if it helped her, but something loosened inside of me. Instead of turning away from her pain, I joined her. It was then I realized more deeply the power of Tonglin...

When you feel hurt, confused, lonely, or sad, breathe into your pain, feel it, be with it, then breathe out an image of clarity, light, and a blessing. This alone will start to change your life.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

tags: meditation, tonglin8 likesLike

“Ego says: I want someone to fill me up. Spirit says: I'll have someone to help me wake up, to challenge my blind spots and be a companion and playmate on the journey.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

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“On the spiritual path we must become a gentle warrior--curious, kind, and alert to our own con games--whispering to ourselves, wake up.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

tags: spiritual-awakening, spiritual-path7 likesLike

“If we succumb to fear, we start holding back, and do that all-to-common dance of getting close, then pulling away. When we remember that our safe harbor depends on our awareness and honesty, we're less likely to make internal compromises, put on masks, or act like a chameleon to attract a partner or keep a hurtful relationship together. If we live by truth, we may have pain, but we will always rest securely in ourselves.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

tags: awareness, honesty7 likesLike

“We feel connected one moment and disconnected the next. A tender sexual moment will never be exactly the same. Every breath we take connects us to life, then passes, until a new breath fills us. We move through new developmental and spiritual stages, daily, weekly... we stop the flow the moment we try to hold on to anything...

You partner with someone as they are in this moment. The vitality can remain if you adventure forth, side by side savoring the moment to moment shifts that inevitably arise as you both stay open to the journey. We need to look at each other anew every day, with clear eyes and an open mind, so we see the person of today, not an image from the past.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

tags: impermeance6 likesLike

“If in a relationship there is no tension [meaning no deepening of knowledge of self and others], it ceases to be a relationship and merely becomes a comfortable sleep state, an opiate - which most people want and prefer.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

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“Generosity says a great deal about a person's emotional and spiritual development. When it's hard to give, or it feels like ripping away a part of the self, we are still anchored in our attachments or stories we've created about scarcity. If this applies to you, make friends with the part of you that feels resentful or finds it difficult to give.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

tags: generosity5 likesLike

“We're like the teenager who "will die" if he or she can't go to a certain rock concert or see a certain friend. Because we tell ourselves it's absolutely crucial that [things should be a certain way right now] we create turmoil and anxiety. It's not [the way things are] that causes pain, it's the meaning we give to these events and our demand that such things not happen. While we can have preferences, the minute we start insisting that people and situations be different, we create internal turmoil - anger, hostility, sadness, and so on. It's our attachments that lead us to donning a mask, blaming others, or feeling incomplete.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

tags: attachment5 likesLike

“• Our longing is also our desire to be known completely. Imagine having your beloved look tenderly into your eyes, knowing all your secrets, having seen you be crabby and sweet, selfish and generous, and still truly loving you. Imagine being able to do the same. That is the potential of a conscious relationship.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

tags: inspirational, life, love, relationship5 likesLike

“The more we commit to knowing and accepting ourselves, the more we are able to surrender to loving another person because we have nothing to hide and nothing to feel ashamed of. Our spiritual commitment to truth and integrity creates a safe harbor within us- a mooring, a home to return to when the journey gets rough, This is immensely important in the dating process because new love can resurrect our most primitive feelings of fear, dependency, and emptiness. If we know how to soothe our pain and relax into or emptiness, we won't be afraid to be open and honest, regardless of the outcome.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

tags: awareness, dating, love, relationships, self-love4 likesLike

“The only way of full knowledge lies in the act of love; this act transcends thought, it transcends words. It is the daring plunge into the experience of union. To love somebody is not just a strong feeling—it is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

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“On the spiritual path, the purpose of my relationship is to wake up and get to know ourselves and our lover, thoroughly, without judgment or pride. On the spiritual path, we enter into a shared union where we cherish and give to each other, expanding our ability to love unconditionally. We would also accept that the process an be awkward, unpredictable, challenging, and surprising.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

tags: dating, love, relationships, spiritual-path, unconditional-love3 likesLike

“More than anything else, I want myself. I want to live with integrity and truth. I’m not going to hide the jewel of who I am, nor will I mask my imperfections. No bargains, no avoiding reality, no conning myself, no lies.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

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“Love brings up anything that is hiding.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

tags: dating, love, relationships3 likesLike

“Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

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“Remember, it’s better to speak up and let a relationship fall apart than to live in fear, or sacrifice your integrity.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

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“I want this music and this dawn and the warmth of your cheek against mine. —R”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

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“Some of the often told stories we use to con ourselves: It’s getting better. Nobody’s perfect. S/he had a hard childhood. I know s/he really loves me, s/he just has a hard time showing it. S/he has so much potential. I’m sure it will get better. Don’t ever marry potential or plan on someone changing. Ask yourself, why would it get better? Why would this person change?”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

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“Trust your observations and intuitive responses. Bring up your concerns as they appear.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

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“there is a circular relationship between our ability to know and love another and our ability to know and love ourselves.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

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“Sufism is about connecting with the intuitive parts of ourselves so that we can attune to the highest vibration in the universe, which is pure love. It's about joining together in the mystical heart.”

― Charlotte Kasl

tags: sufism1 likesLike

“Just as children thrive with loving kindness from a caregiver, so too we are sustained by friendship, spiritual nurture, and a sense of belonging throughout our lives. 34.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Got Stuck: A Handbook for Change on a Spiritual Path

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“Just bringing our full attention to what we are doing, and when we are done, we go home. But we are forever changed—while the performance is over, the music now lives within us.”

― Charlotte Kasl, If the Buddha Got Stuck: A Handbook for Change on a Spiritual Path

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If The Buddha Dated - A Handbook For Finding Love On A Spiritual Path |Charlotte Kasl

If The Buddha Dated - A Handbook For Finding Love On A Spiritual Path | PDF
https://www.scribd.com/document/504028636/If-the-Buddha-Dated-A-Handbook-for-Finding-Love-on-a-Spiritual-Path

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If the Buddha Dated -A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

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praise for if the buddha dated


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If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path


Charlotte Kasl


4.12
2,688 ratings253 reviews

In this practical, playful, yet spiritual guide, Charlotte Kasl, author of the highly successful Finding Joy: 101 Ways to Free Your Spirit and Dance with Life, shows you what it would be like to have the ancient wisdom of the Buddha to guide you through the dating process. 

Kasl brings a compassionate understanding to the anxiety and uneasiness of new love, and helps readers discover their potential for vibrant human connection based on awareness, kindness, and honesty. 

She approaches the dating process as a means for awakening, reminding us that when we live by spiritual rules, we bring curiosity and a light heart to the romantic journey. 

Filled with quotations from Zen, Sufi, and other wisdom traditions, and informed by the experiences of people from all walks of life, here is a relationship book that will appeal to readers looking for more than a Venus-meets-Mars solution to the complex affairs of the heart.

212 pages, Paperback
First published February 1, 1999

Published  1999 by Penguin Group

Kindle EditionPenguin Books1999

ebookPenguin Group1999

PaperbackAltamira

Audio CDTantor Media2010

Audio CDTantor Media2010
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About the author


Charlotte Kasl19 books66 followers

====

Displaying 1 - 10 of 252 reviews


Michelle
111 reviews7 followers

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April 5, 2012

What an appropriate book at this point in my life. After many failed romances and at the tender age of 22, I was starting to become a little cynical. This book redirected me to a healthier and more loving place--a place where I learn to love and respect myself before getting involved with anyone else. 

Yes, the urge to feel loved and have romance in my life is still there but now I look at it with different eyes--now I ask myself, what is this loneliness signaling? 

Am I loving and nurturing myself fully right now? 

I am learning, albeit slowly, how to soothe my own anxieties and tenderly love myself without resorting to dating. 

It's a tough journey, especially for someone admittedly has a "dating addiction" but this book has surely helped a lot.

Kasl, an incredibly fascinating woman, begins with a little background on Buddhism and reminding the reader of the 4 noble truths: 

suffering is inherent to life, 

we create our suffering through attachments and demands that things be different than they are, 

we can ease our suffering by ceasing our endless demands and accepting the what is of life, and 

the last truth which is: through complete acceptance of the what is in life and recognizing the superficial desires we harbor, we learn to live in peace and love.

 With this in mind, we can contemplate on how we push our agendas on the world and, subsequently, other people (including and especially our love interests) Admittedly, I struggle with this constantly (and it was very apparent in my most recent relationships) so it definitely hit home and called for some self-reflection.

In addition, Kasl discusses how anxiety is inherent in most relationships because they resurrect the feelings of attachment we had with our mother or primary caregiver. We were once completely merged with our mother and, unconsciously, we still desire that feeling of complete and utter connection. We want someone to take care of us, soothe us, comfort us. But we are adults now. Therein lies the problem. 

She reminds us that this trap is easy to fall into, especially when first starting a relationship. Kasl is adamant about this fact--that we need to be happy with ourselves and be okay with letting a relationship end, if it does. 

Our ego tricks us into getting into a state of panic at the possibility of loss but if we relax and realize that this is just a moment in life and that people will always come and go (and that we will continue to live) we will be happier and appreciative of the learning experiences that come with each relationship.

Throughout the book, Kasl always mentions how the most important relationship is the one we have with ourselves and how if we learn to fully love and accept every aspect of ourselves, we will be tremendously happy, in or out of a relationship :)



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Steph
482 reviews249 followers

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September 15, 2022
i was a little hesitant to read this because it feels somewhat sus for (white) authors to profit off of buddhism as a self-helpy trend. (kasl was a psychologist, and wrote several books that apply buddhist ideologies to various areas of life) and i would like to explore any criticism or discourse about the representation of buddhism here... but ideally books like this can make buddhist thought more accessible to folks who don't know much about it.

anyway. the book doesn't delve deeply enough into either buddhism or relationship psychology to make me feel like i have a firm understanding of anything new, but it is filled with many small and comforting nuggets of wisdom. and kasl does focus on some inner child stuff, which i definitely appreciate.

the short chapters each focus on an idea or stage of dating or relationships. many of these don't apply to me at the moment, but i could see value in returning to the book later. maybe it'd be helpful to revisit key chapters whenever you need a new perspective on a particular topic you're experiencing in your life. different wisdoms for different phases.

the book is often dated (as it was published in 1999! kasl mentions a coming out workshop led by chaz bono and uses his deadname, and talks about the trend of telephone dating services. it's an interesting blast from the past). but kasl, then in her 60s, was openly bisexual and seems like she was a pretty cool lady. i enjoyed the personal stories she weaves into the book.

one of the main themes here is that we must treat ourselves and our partners with respect and care, and approach life with an attitude of openness and curiosity. everything is ephemeral, but by seeking understanding and embracing change, we can live life more fully and be more present.

other messages of note:

‣ it's our attachments and expectations that cause us suffering. becoming mindful of these can help us to eventually be free of them, and to enjoy the good things that we do have. "All transformation starts with awareness."

‣ compassion is sacred. "When you say good-bye to someone or decide not to see them again, remember you are a moment in their story. Make it a story that doesn't leave a scar."

‣ "When we don't find meaning in life, we seek stimulation instead."

‣"If you want something to happen, help it happen (...) People who get results are usually excellent at making specific requests bolstered by self-confidence. They enjoy stretching their limits and experimenting. They also believe they deserve what they are asking for."

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John
29 reviews3 followers

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June 20, 2012
A practical and thoughtful dialogue. This book has somewhat hard to swallow advice that may change your life. It is informed by various spiritual traditions, and places the emphasis of relationships toward a questioned approach. What it is that you and your partner need. What can you do to open yourself up to finding someone. Who are you? What have you not accepted in the past, what does your intuition tell you about where you are right now.

It was also helpful for me even though my focus is more on jobs and finding work. Some exercise were fun too like writing a personal ad based on your who you really are. ie: "Often late, forgetful m looking for slender wf to make himself feel better about life." haha, so true for many men including myself. Not something I try to be, but something that society tells us will give us control or power or happiness.

It also got you to write out what you really felt was your essence and how a partner could inform that, and how you could come to terms with growing within those conditions

Mostly th I think the most important lesson is that is one of the noble truths taught in Buddhism and other spiritual traditions is that attachment leads to suffering. This book is a good way to gently guide us to exist with those emotions.

To stay with fear, to stick with it.



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Hannah
10 reviews6 followers

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July 20, 2014

Okay, so, in all honestly, I'm really embarrassed to admit I read this book. 

If there are two topics of public conversation that make me squirmy it's love and spirituality. 

And god forbid someone see me standing anywhere near the self-help section of a bookstore. But, hey, a close, trusted friend recommended that I read this book and I'm really glad she did. 

It's not particularly well-written and - I say this with utter seriousness - the whimsical font-design choices really almost made me give up before I even started. 

But I was curious! I guess this is the part where I have to admit that I am newly in love and that, despite all the reasons to feel only so-so about this book, it was really great for critical self-examination and honest reflection. This book gave me the tools to do the kind of work I was trying to do by myself. 

Reading this book and taking it to heart years ago would have saved me from a great deal of stress, aggravation, anxiety, and wasted time; but reading it now was a pleasant confirmation that I'm on the right track in my own development as a person and romantic partner. 

I found it to be a helpful catalyst for assessing my romantic situation honestly. I would never presume to call myself a Buddhist; however, I found Buddhist philosophy to be a useful lens through which to view and evaluate love. 

It was difficult for me to relate wholeheartedly to the concept of being "on a spiritual path," as well as some of the more woo-woo ideas about assessing compatibility (astrological charts, handwriting analysis), but I took much more from this book than I put into it, so in that regard it is a success. 

I would recommend this book to anyone in pursuit of love/commitment (including, or rather ESPECIALLY those pursuing a higher degree of self-love) and willing to engage with difficult questions. It's hard to face yourself full-on, and for me, even harder to admit it, but it's important work and this book was an accessible way to get there.

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Geordie Korper
56 reviews1 follower

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January 1, 2013
When the student is ready the teacher will appear. Thanks Kris for giving me this book all those years ago when I put it on the shelf unread.

There came a moment in my life where I needed to remember how to be authentically committed to a person without being attached to a specific result; to be in the moment with my commitments but no expectations. This book was sitting there on my shelf and gave me a little insight into how that might be possible.

It is not a perfect book but then what book is? It really isn't all that buddhist for example. Also there are a few examples where the author clearly missed the point. It is not enough to breathe in suffering and breathe out love and compassion. Sometimes you need to get off your effing butt and tend to the wounded.

That being said it's a fast read any you might get some value out of it if you are willing to keep what is worth keeping and blow the rest away.

Oh, the comfort --
The inexpressible comfort of feeling
safe with a person,
Having neither to weigh thoughts,
Nor measure words -- but pouring them
All right out -- just as they are --
Chaff and grain together --
Certain that a faithful hand will
Take and sift them --
Keep what is worth keeping --
and with the breath of kindness
Blow the rest away.



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Sylwia
1,132 reviews27 followers

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June 27, 2015

One of my main criterion for reviewing a book is to assess how much it has taught me. For that, this book deserves many more than five stars, it deserves one for each chapter. This book clearly respects and honors love and it does it through various mentally healthy-spiritual-psychological lenses. 

I cried many times reading it and I feel that it has changed me. Sometimes I spend an entire day remembering a chapter. I cannot recommend this enough, to both singles and nonsingles.

책을 리뷰하는 주요 기준 중 하나는 책이 나에게 얼마나 많은 것을 가르쳐 주었는지 평가하는 것입니다. 그런 점에서 이 책은 별 다섯 개 이상을 받을 자격이 있습니다. 각 장마다 별 하나를 받을 자격이 있습니다. 이 책은 분명히 사랑을 존중하며 다양한 정신적-영성적-심리적 렌즈를 통해 사랑을 다룹니다. 나는 이 책을 읽고 여러 번 울었고 책은 나를 변화시킨 것 같습니다. 때때로 나는 한 챕터를 생각하면서 하루 종일을 보낸다. 독신과 비독신 모두에게 이것을 아무리 추천해도 모자랄 것 같습니다.

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Colleen Wainwright
244 reviews50 followers

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April 29, 2013

I read this book every few years, usually around the time I think I'm ready for another relationship. Every time I do, I'm reminded that the relationship I'm really craving is with myself, and the All-That-Is. In other words, this is a sweet little book about traveling the Path, whether or not the Path takes you alongside someone else's Path. 

If it does, there are a number of lovely little essays and tools that may help you avert the crazy pitfalls you generally hit in (or out of) relationship; if not, there's plenty of good, comforting, soul-satisfying material to keep you happily moving forward on your own.

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Alex
185 reviews14 followers

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September 10, 2012
This book caught my eye on the shelf at an interesting time: an intriguing character had just entered my life and then left just as quickly, after entrancing me with his spirituality and shocking me with his dismissal and disappearance. A truly inspiring conversation with this person led me to consider an approach to life that welcomes the present moment and opens myself to the possibilities around me for love — in essence, the message of If the Buddha Dated.

One thing that made the material in Kasl's "handbook" hard to digest was the unclear structure and a lack of relatable examples. She elaborates on the experiences of many couples and individuals, but their realism doesn't truly resonate with the reader, because the characters, as it were, are so far removed from us. This was, at least, my opinion. As such, many of the examples were forgettable, but the main takeaway for me had several levels: 1) love will be ready for you when you are ready for it; 2) refuting expectations in life is difficult but necessary for fulfillment; and 3) the principles of Buddhism and Sufism appeal to me very much, spiritually.

If the Buddha Dated was an excellent gateway to spiritual thought for me, and I think it has started me down a meaningful new path.
2012
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Sydney Stuberg
17 reviews2 followers

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October 18, 2020
Not enough people openly discuss the relationship they have with themselves or with their partners even though both are incredibly influential on our lives and well-being. This book is excellent for self reflection and understanding your deepest desires as an individual as well as going into a spiritual understanding of your upbringing and letting go of habits that no longer serve you. Everyone can learn something from this whether single, in a relationship, spiritual, or not. Will definitely be going back to reference this at a later date.

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Melissa
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June 19, 2009
This book is very enjoyable and supremely helpful to everyone I've known who's read it. It was highly recommended to me by a good friend about two years ago. I am about to read it again, for the third time! If you want to be open and honest with life and others, able to love them by first loving all parts of yourself and live compassionately, this book's for you! I promise it will help you to release some of your fears, false perceptions and worries. It really is so good as to make you want to read it over an over again. There is another one by Kasl (many) called: If the Buddha Married but I am confident that this book is extremely practical and helpful to human beings, male or female, married or unmarried. Enjoy!! Pass it on . . .

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Displaying 1 - 10 of 252 reviews

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How to Practice: The Way to a Meaningful Life by Dalai Lama XIV | Goodreads

How to Practice: The Way to a Meaningful Life by Dalai Lama XIV | Goodreads

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How to Practice: The Way to a Meaningful Life
Dalai Lama XIV

4.09
9,267 ratings365 reviews
As human beings, we all share the desire for happiness and meaning in our lives. According to His Holiness the Dalai Lama, the ability to find true fulfillment lies within each of us. In this very special book, the spiritual and temporal leader of Tibet, Nobel Prize winner, and bestselling author helps readers embark upon the path to enlightenment with a stunning illumination of the timeless wisdom and an easy-access reference for daily practice.

Divided into a series of distinct steps that will lead spiritual seekers toward enlightenment, How to Practice is a constant companion in the quest to practice morality, meditation, and wisdom. This accessible book will guide you toward opening your heart, refraining from doing harm, and maintiaining mentaltranquility as the Dalai Lama shows you how to overcome everyday obstacles, from feelings of anger and mistrust to jealousy, insecurity, and counterproductive thinking. Imbued with His Holiness' vivacious spirit and sense of playfulness, How to Practice offers sage and practical insight into the human psyche and into the deepest aspirations that bind us all together.
240 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2002
Original title
How to Practice: The Way to a Meaningful Life

This edition
Format
240 pages, Paperback

Published
August 19, 2003 by Atria Books

ISBN
9780743453363 (ISBN10: 0743453360)

Language
English




Sean Barrs
1,099 reviews44.1k followers

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October 7, 2017
“I accept everyone as a friend. In truth, we already know one another, profoundly, as human beings who share the same basic goals: We all seek happiness and do not want suffering.”

The Dalai Lama is incredibly quotable and there are so many fantastic examples of his simple wisdom in here. Well, I say simple but it can’t be that simple if people still fail to follow it after all these years. Despite living in an age of globalisation, we are still tragically divided. Senseless wars plague our history books and they continue to dog our steps. When will the world learn that we are all the same despite nationality, religion or skin colour?

The Dalai Lama preaches that all men are equal. Despite having his own philosophical beliefs, he respects all other belief systems and encourages members of other faiths to pursue their path and attain their ultimate goals of peace and happiness. Such things should never divide us nor should politics. It all sounds extremely idealistic, but if everybody adopted a similar approach then the world would be a more peaceful place. If we all called our neighbours our friends, and ignored the minor differences and strove towards human equality and peace, rather than goals such as wealth and power, then hatred would start to die.

“More dangerous than guns or bombs are hatred, lack of compassion, and lack of respect for the rights of others. As long as hatred dwells in the human mind, real peace is impossible.”

History, unfortunately, shows us the truth of these words. In this helpful guide, The Dalai Lama offers advice on how to cope with life and deal with such frustrating situations. Hating the hater achieves little. What is needed in such a situation is compassion, the first step on the road to inner-peace.
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Calista
3,792 reviews31.2k followers

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October 28, 2018
I really needed this read right now. School has been very stressful this trimester and I feel constantly behind. Still, I did pass my comprehensive exam to graduate from the program once Clinic and classes are done. I still have the herbal program and doctoral work left to do. Then, all the hate pouring out of DC right now and just how ugly politics has become has taken a spiritual toll on me. It has really worn me down and I have had to disengage from news and stop watching and reading.

This book was a balm to me. I love to hear the wisdom from the Dalai Lama. He is such an amazing heart centered person. I have heard him speak and it was amazing. I did listen to this in my car on the way to school and back. I don't remember much from it, but I do remember how it lifted my soul up and calmed my aching spirit. His discussions on suffering were amazing and it did help me put my suffering in somewhat of a new perspective.

He had a great meditation in there and some good tips to raise my vibration spiritually - which I can use right now. I kept my eyes open, obviously, and I did do the meditation with the reader and the visualization. It's interesting, the traffic becomes part of the meditation. You observe the traffic and left go of the emotions of being in it. I feel like I need to line up books like this and read more healing stuff for my soul. I am stretched thin. This was a big help to me. I probably enjoy storytelling to much to give it up though. I need a balance.

If I can reach half the level of wisdom the Lama has, I will have done some amazing work in this life. I have much more to do. His holiness also speaks so openly about the pain and suffering caused him by losing his people and his city and country. It was a terrible pain he lives with. He has suffered plenty in this life. I suppose if he can survive that, then I can make it through my coarse work and stress.

Listening to master of this philosophy make everything sound so easy and simple. It is very simple until you try and live it and your emotions surge and take you along for the ride and then it feels like the most impossible thing in the world. I have so much to learn and so much to grow. It's simply one day at a time.
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Froztwolf
51 reviews14 followers

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May 7, 2011
This is an odd book that seems to span the entirety of Buddhist practice from beginning to end.

The first third of the book was easy to connect with. It talks about things in our daily lives, what the tenets or Buddhist practice are, how these two relate, and basically what Buddhism encourages people to do and why. Having studied Buddhism a little before, there were few surprises there for me but it was yet a welcome reminder and well structured.

The middle part of the book tackles subjects that are somewhat familiar and desirable to me but out of my reach as of yet, like deep meditative states, practicing extreme generosity and benevolence, complete non-harm and such.

The last third of the book flew right over my head. Among the subject were the luminous nature of the mind, the inherent emptiness of all things, concepts of (non-sexual) Tantra and other concepts I seem ill-equipped to fully grasp.

The feeling I get from this book is that the reader's experience is going to be extremely personal. It is suitable for newcomers to Buddhism, as all the basics are described in full detail in the first sections, but they might find themselves frustrated by the last few chapters.

Likewise, those that have practiced Buddhism for a long time might be bored with the level of details in the first basic chapters, but more interested by the last sections.

Worth reading, but don't expect the whole book to be useful and relevant to you at any one time.

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Rustam
187 reviews

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March 27, 2008
I find this man really fascinating, but this book didn't quite get there for me. I wonder if what he preaches is too simple to be interesting in a literary format. I would be interested in reading his auto-biography. His English isn't all that hot, but his occasional anecdotal digressions are very interesting.

I can't believe I'm giving the Dalai Lama TWO stars!? The good news is, I'm not going to Hell, but rather, I may be reborn as a desert rodent.

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Z
117 reviews141 followers

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June 6, 2012
Although I have immense respect for the Dalai Lama's teachings and for traditional Buddhist doctrine, I would not recommend this book as a primer for someone who wants to learn more about Buddhism and/or meditation. The first half of the book is very general, very lightly describing basic Buddhist tenets and advising on concentrated meditation. The second half focuses on the concepts of 'emptiness,' 'inherent existence' and 'dependent-arisings' - and I came away feeling like none of these were really adequately explained. I would imagine that they do not lend themselves to easy explanation. The fallout is that the reader could lose his/her way through this maze of abstractions and wind up at the end of the book blinking in confusion.

What this book did bring home to me was how little time we have in our lives to improve ourselves and be more compassionate, intelligent beings, and what a long, long road lies ahead of us. Perhaps the latter half of this book could make sense to someone who has achieved enough success with concentrated meditation to have somewhat more of a grip on the notion of emptiness. For a more detailed, less abstruse exposition of Buddhist doctrine, I would recommend Sogyal Rinpoche's The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying.
2012
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Tess
60 reviews

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December 20, 2008
I still read this book. Recently, I needed something to bring me peace during a small conflict. I opened the book arbitrarily and found just what I needed. I love this little book. It can be a wonderful guide to living peacefully and spreading peace among others.

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Rimantė :)
125 reviews28 followers

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April 2, 2019
"Na jei pasirodys, kad mano samprotavimai jums praversti negali, tiesiog numokite į šią knygelę ranka" - paskutinis šios knygos sakinys.

Visiškai nenumosiu ir parašysiu 2,5* ,nes didžioji dalis knygos turinio liko nesuprasta arba suprasta dalinai. Nepraktikuoju ir neplanuoju praktikuoti budizmo artimiausiu metu, tad aiškinimai apie dvasines praktikas, jų aprašymai kelyje nušvitimo link man buvo visiškai neaktualios ir dažnai nesuvokiamos.

Kas buvo pasakyta apie gerumą, atjautą, dvasinį tobulėjimą buvo geras priminimas daryti gerus darbus, rūpintis artimu, lavinti kantrybę, išmokti nuraminti sąmonę. Šitai man jau buvo aktualiau, tad iš tų nedideliu suprantamų man ištraukų pasiėmiau, kiek galėjau.

Į visą kitą kaip patarė pati jo šventenybė Dalai Lama - numosiu ranka :)

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robin friedman
1,769 reviews204 followers

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January 23, 2021
To Practice Peace And Kindness

This book by H.H. the Dalai Lama may be read by those wishing an introduction to Tibetan Buddhism and by those wishing to begin or develop their practice.

The Dalai Lama attempts to answer the basic question: "How can people be happy?" His answer outlines a path of spiritual growth and practice. Although based upon Tibetan Buddhism, there is wisdom in the book for anybody seeking spiritual growth, within or without any specific religious practice.

The book consists of six short sections. It begins with a brief discussion of the life of the Buddha which, as the Dalai Lama points out, encompasses the basic teachings of the Buddhist path: morality, concentrated meditation and wisdom. The Dalai Lama then explains the basis of each teaching in short chapters. It is good that the book gives its focus to moral practice -- curing anger, lust, hatred, and aggression and wishing well to oneself and others.

Chapter III of the book discusses meditation practices and will introduce the beginner to the value of meditation and to several meditation techniques. The Dalai Lama stresses the need for consistent practice and for patience and for the need of controlling one's expectations.

There are several chapters which discuss the difficult but key Buddhist teaching of dependent origination. Much of this material the Dalai Lama also covers in an earlier book called "The Meaning of Life."

There is a concluding section on Tantra, a uniquely Tibetan practice. I think it is better for the average person to remain with the practices of morality and concentration described earlier in the book.

Some of the unique features of this book are the Dalai Lama's anecdotes of his life in Tibet before the Chinese Invasion of 1950 and of his teachers. There is a substantial discussion of sexuality in the book and of how it may be used (and abused) in the search for peace and kindness. (pages 192-196) There is a translation of the Heart Sutra, a key Buddhist text with a commentary by the Dalai Lama. (159-163)

I found the Dalai Lama's concluding paragraph captures much of the tenor and the value of this book (page 223):

"Though my own knowledge is limited and my experience is also very poor, I have tried my best to help you understand the full breadth of the Buddha's teaching. Please implement whatever in these pages appears to be helpful. If you follow another religion, please adopt whatever might assist you. If you do not think it would be helpful, just leave it alone."

Robin Friedman

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Callie
621 reviews19 followers

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May 18, 2010
A bunch of quotes from this book I need to get down, because they are valuable.

"By greeting trouble with optimism and hope , you are undermining worse troubles down the line."

CONTENTMENT REGARDING FOOD< CLOTHES< SHELTER:

SHELTER "Lay people can reduce the neverending quest for a better home and for the funiture and decorations in it." Imagine! This is an outright unequivocal, unapologetic suggestion that we just stop acquiring things and be happy with what we have.

"Examine your attitudes toward food, clothes, and shelter. By reducing expectations you will promote contentment. The extra energy which is released should be devoted to meditation and to achieve cessation of problems."

"We should be contented in material areas, for those are bound by limitation, but not with regard to the spiritual which can be extended limitlessly."

"In a sense, all human beings belong to a single family. We need to embrace the oneness of humanity and show concern for everyone--not just my family or my country or my continenet. We must show concern for every being, not just the few who resemble us. Differences of religion, ideology, race, economic system, social system, and government are all secondary"


"When you are concerned about others your own welfare is fulfilled automatically."

Another one about SHELTER! "If you practice more kindness and tolerance, you will find more peace. There is no need to change the furniture in your house or move to a new home. Your neighbor may be very noisy or very difficult, but so long as your own mind is calm and peaceful, neighbors will not bother you much. However, if you are generally irritable, even when your best friend visits, you cannot become really happy. If you are calm, even your enemy cannot disturb you."

"Generating concern for others has vast power to transform your mind. If you practice compassion for the sake of all living beings--including animals--then that same limitless merit will accrue to you."

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Abe
264 reviews74 followers

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October 25, 2019
A book replete with wisdom. Finding contentment in material things is undoubtedly the practice that has brought me the most happiness in this life.

I must agree with a lot of reviewers here: the last third of the book is far more advanced than the first two thirds. He provides no definitions, he just jumps right in, so if the reader isn't aware of topics such as dependency, emptiness, etc., it would prove to be a difficult read.

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Displaying 1 - 10 of 365 reviews

===

How To Practise: The Way to a Meaningful Life Kindle Edition

by Dalai Lama  (Author)  Format: Kindle Edition

4.6 out of 5 stars    1,097 ratings

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How To Practice is a major inspirational work, by one of the world's greatest spiritual teachers. It is broken down into the basic steps to enlightenment: how to practise morality, how to practise meditation, and how to practise wisdom - at the same time, delving deeper into His Holiness' more general Buddhist teachings, his spirit, wisdom and sense of humour. The book, meant to be used as part of daily practice, is easy to understand and filled with anecdotes. It includes guidance on mental calm, altruism and compassion, refraining from harm, focussing the mind, and much more.

Beautifully packaged, this is the ultimate gift from the Dalai Lama, and a wonderful gift to give to anyone interested in having a richer, more fulfilled life.

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Print length

224 pages

Jeffrey Hopkins, Ph.D., served for a decade as the interpreter for the Dalai Lama. A Buddhist scholar and the author of more than thirty-five books and translations, he is emeritus professor of Tibetan and Buddhist studies at the University of Virginia, where he founded the largest academic program of Tibetan Buddhist studies in the West.

--This text refers to the paperback edition.

From the Back Cover

In this very special book, His Holiness the Dalai Lama will lead you towards opening your heart and finding true peace in a troubled world.

Set out in a series of distinct steps towards enlightenment, How to Practise is a constant and daily companion for spiritual seekers of all faiths in their quest to practice morality, meditation and wisdom. The Dalai Lama shows us how to overcome everyday obstacles, from feelings of anger and mistrust to jealousy, insecurity and counterproductive thinking. Imbued with His Holiness' vivacious spirit and sense of playfulness, this guide to a meaningful life offers his sage and very practical views on the way we live today and what binds us all together. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Book Description

His Holiness the Dalai Lama's important and accessible handbook on how to live a meaningful life --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

"Simple, clear advice" (Yoga and Health) --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ B007D15WW0

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Ebury Digital; Classic e. edition (31 March 2012)

Customer Reviews: 4.6 out of 5 stars    1,097 ratings

Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars

Top review from Australia

Paul

5.0 out of 5 stars How to Practise

Reviewed in Australia 🇦🇺 on 4 February 2016

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I've read a few Buddhism books but I am in no way an "expert" in it. But this book by the Dalai Lama was the best of what I've read so far. His cheeky humor plus his keen insights into the human condition made this a very enjoyable read. At the moment I've been simply trying to get a better understanding of the 8-Fold Path as a way to lead the middle way in my everyday life, and this book helped me understand how to do that a lot better. Highly recommended!

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Andrew Cree

5.0 out of 5 stars It's a mirror into your soul

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 10 February 2020

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A must read for everyone who wants to learn about themselfs and obtain some self improvement. As for myself. Because I think differently as a result of reading this book it has produced more positive interactions with other people and has made them feel better as a result. I buy this book regularly as a present for others.

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Lara Croft

3.0 out of 5 stars Boring

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 19 September 2018

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I brought three books by the Dalai Lama and no disrespect but he does repeat what he has said in all three books so I might as well have just brought the one on this subject. He does like to elaborate the fact we don’t exist over and over. Well if we don’t exist then what is the point of being nice to anyone and Buddhist ways wouldn’t matter and karma wouldn’t bother us anyway ????????

5 people found this helpful

 

Amazon Customer

4.0 out of 5 stars An interesting account of the background and life of a Dalai Lama, and a basic guideline into Buddhism.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 23 November 2021

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I am still learning what Buddhism is about. Being a comparative beginner, I could not understand the chapters on Wisdom, though I did read through them. Besides that, the book is very informative, and gives us an idea of how we should conduct our lives, and lead towards the ulitimate Enlightenment.

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Nisha

5.0 out of 5 stars Systematic Guide as a supplement; Teacher still required

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 18 March 2021

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Clear, concise, and applicable knowledge. Wish I found this 20 years ago when I started practicing. Rest assured this guide will not lead you astray or abandon you. It will keep you on the path.

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A M van Dyk

5.0 out of 5 stars But it could so easily ahve been one star!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 31 December 2003

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Why? Sheer frustration at my own inability to put the contents into practice!

Leaving that to one side, it is clear to me that if everyone read and implemented this book, and showed compassion to each other for one's efforts in striving to do so, the world would be a so much better place. The great thing about this great man's writings is that they are disarmingly simple in their wording, without ever becoming simplistic nor conning yo uthat implementation is easy.

7 people found this helpful

The Wisdom of Compassion: Lama, Dalai, Chan, Victor: Amazon.com.au: Kindle Store

The Wisdom of Compassion: Stories of Remarkable Encounters and Timeless Insights eBook : Lama, Dalai, Chan, Victor: Amazon.com.au: Kindle Store

https://archive.org/details/wisdomofcompassi0000chan


The Wisdom of Compassion: Stories of Remarkable Encounters and Timeless Insights Kindle Edition
by Dalai Lama (Author), Victor Chan (Author) Format: Kindle Edition


4.7 out of 5 stars 58 ratings

Book 1 of 2: The Wisdom of Series


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The Wisdom of Compassion offers rare insights into the Dalai Lama’s life as he interacts with remarkable people from all walks of life. In these deeply engaging behind-the-scenes stories we see not only the Dalai Lama at his most human, and most humane, but also the way he approaches the world with humour and optimism.

As he empathizes with those who are suffering, and demonstrates the tangible benefits of practising forgiveness and compassion, the Dalai Lama reveals the many lessons he has learned, including how

* his collaborations with leading neuroscientists, psychologists, teachers and students from around the world have taught him how to educate the heart;

* his inspiring friendship with a blind Irishman, the only person he calls his hero, has taught him how one can overcome adversity;

* through his encounters with illiterate grandmothers learning how to harness solar power for their communities, a beggar girl, and his soulmate, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, he has discovered how compassion can be translated into action.

Enhanced by the Dalai Lama’s seven decades of practice and illuminated through captivating anecdotes, The Wisdom of Compassion can help readers to lead more fulfilling lives. The Dalai Lama also shows how, when we open our hearts and minds to others, we are on the surest path to true happiness.
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''Chan provides an insider's account of the spiritual master's teachings at venues large and small.... Leaving intact the Dalai Lama's distinctive English, Chan vividly conveys the world leader's intense curiosity, intelligence, explosive laughter, keen wisdom, and kindness; his account of the Dalai Lama's conversation with Archbishop Desmond Tutu crackles with energy. Throughout, His Holiness incisively conveys his core teaching that inner transformation is key to alleviating suffering and bringing peace to a violent world. He also listens intently to innovators who are committed to the same goals. Details provide immediacy; carefully placed background information gives context. These inspiring dialogues communicate His Holiness's worldwide appeal and essential commitment to compassion.'' -- Publishers Weekly

''Tales of kindness and understanding from the Dalai Lama...[Readers] will come away with a better sense of the importance of communication, forgiveness and empathy, regardless of the circumstances.'' --Kirkus Reviews --This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.

Book Description
A rare and inspiring insight into the Dalai Lama's daily life and his efforts to translate compassion into action around the world. --This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.

About the Author
Tenzin Gyatso, His Holiness the Fourteenth Dalai Lama, is the spiritual leader of the Tibetan people. His tireless efforts on behalf of human rights and world peace have brought him international recognition. He is the recipient of the Raoul Wallenberg Congressional Human Rights Award, the Albert Schweitzer Humanitarian Award, the Congressional Gold Medal, and the Nobel Peace Prize. In 2006, His Holiness was recognized with Honorary Citizenship by the Governor General of Canada.



Victor Chan is the author of the Tibet Handbook: A Pilgrimage Guide. Together with His Holiness the Dalai Lama, he co-authored The Wisdom of Forgiveness: Intimate Conversations and Journeys (Riverhead, 2004). In 2005 he founded the Dalai Lama Center for Peace and Education in Vancouver with His Holiness the Dalai Lama.--This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.
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Product details
ASIN ‏ : ‎ B00AQK80QA
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Transworld Digital (20 December 2012)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
File size ‏ : ‎ 1295 KB
Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
Print length ‏ : ‎ 274 pages
Page numbers source ISBN ‏ : ‎ 1594487383Best Sellers Rank: 544,399 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)348 in Tibetan Buddhism (Kindle Store)
686 in Occult Spiritualism
1,610 in New Age MeditationCustomer Reviews:
4.7 out of 5 stars 58 ratings









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J. S. Amies
5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful bookReviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 24 August 2018
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This is a must read book. It leads you to take a different view on life. Maybe it will change your life at least a little bit, for the better.
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Shirley M.
5.0 out of 5 stars InterestingReviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 4 November 2017
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Recollections of various interesting encounters the DL has had over the years and insights into compassion.
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Diederik Thuyn
4.0 out of 5 stars MovingReviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 13 October 2013
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Moving stories of overcoming adversity by cultivating an open heart and true compassion, even in hell. An enormous variety of encounters are described here ranging from ex-prisoners and terrorists to Aaron Beck, the father of cognitive behaviour therapy, and Desmond Tutu.

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Khm75
5.0 out of 5 stars Insightful, easy readReviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on 3 September 2016
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Very insightful - several parts of the book still absorbing my thoughts.
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JPM
3.0 out of 5 stars Value-add readingReviewed in India 🇮🇳 on 1 June 2016
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Makes for nice reading
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===

The Wisdom of Compassion: Stories of Remarkable Encounters and Timeless Insights

Dalai Lama XIV

, 

Victor Chan

, 

นรา สุภัคโรจน์

 (Translator)

4.01

631 ratings68 reviews

The Wisdom of Compassion offers rare insights into the Dalai Lama’s life and his efforts to translate compassion into action through deeply engaging, behind-the-scene stories about his interactions with remarkable people from all walks of life.

This is the Dalai Lama at his most human, and most humane. We see how he approaches the world with playfulness, optimism, and a profound empathy for the suffering of others. Through his own conduct, he shows us the tangible benefits of practicing kindness, forgiveness and compassion. And he demonstrates that opening our hearts and minds to others is the surest path to true happiness.

The Wisdom of Compassion is an intensely personal portrait of the Dalai Lama. It recounts the story of his friendship with a blind Irishman, how they first met and how in later meetings the Dalai Lama comes to call him his one and only hero. It explores the Dalai Lama’s collaboration with a neuroscientist and how it results in significant discoveries about the human brain. It also brings to life poignant accounts of his uncommon encounters with a little beggar girl, a disabled boy in a critical care ward, a man who trains grandmothers to become solar engineers, and many others.

The Dalai Lama’s wisdom principles revolve around the practical application of compassion. Enhanced by his seven decades of practice and elucidated through captivating anecdotes of his own experiences, they will help readers lead more fulfilling lives. As the Dalai Lama has written many years ago: if you want others to be happy, practice compassion; if you want yourself to be happy, practice compassion.

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Dalai Lama XIV

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Jetsun Jamphel Ngawang Lobsang Yeshe Tenzin Gyatso (born Lhamo Döndrub), the 14th Dalai Lama, is a practicing member of the Gelug School of Tibetan Buddhism and is influential as a Nobel Peace Prize laureate, the world's most famous Buddhist monk, and the leader of the exiled Tibetan government in India.

Tenzin Gyatso was the fifth of sixteen children born to a farming family. He was proclaimed the tulku (an Enlightened lama who has consciously decided to take rebirth) of the 13th Dalai Lama at the age of two.

On 17 November 1950, at the age of 15, he was enthroned as Tibet's ruler. Thus he became Tibet's most important political ruler just one month after the People's Republic of China's invasion of Tibet on 7 October 1950. In 1954, he went to Beijing to attempt peace talks with Mao Zedong and other leaders of the PRC. These talks ultimately failed.

After a failed uprising and the collapse of the Tibetan resistance movement in 1959, the Dalai Lama left for India, where he was active in establishing the Central Tibetan Administration (the Tibetan Government in Exile) and in seeking to preserve Tibetan culture and education among the thousands of refugees who accompanied him.

Tenzin Gyatso is a charismatic figure and noted public speaker. This Dalai Lama is the first to travel to the West. There, he has helped to spread Buddhism and to promote the concepts of universal responsibility, secular ethics, and religious harmony.

He was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1989, honorary Canadian citizenship in 2006, and the United States Congressional Gold Medal on 17 October 2007.

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Diane S ☔

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January 18, 2013

I have long admired the Dalai Lama and the Tibetan people, who no longer have a country. This book has many incidents and meetings that showcase the Dalai Lama's sense of humor as well as his wisdom and compassion. It mentions in the book that just being in the room within twenty feet of his presence, one feels a deep sense of contentment. Would really like to check this out. Think I would really like to go to a Buddhist retreat, well maybe someday. I don't see myself meditating for five hours a day, which is what he does every morning, but I do feel that meditation will benefit not only myself but others as well. Many touching stories, such as his meeting with the Protestants and the Catholics in Northern Ireland. Compelling.

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Diane

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May 10, 2013

This book was not what I was looking for. Parts of it were interesting, like learning about nonprofit organizations and humanitarian efforts. But I would have been better off reading a book actually written by the Dalai Lama and not someone that choose to include so much unnecessary detail (I don't care about a gift visor that doesn't fit the Dalai Lama's head). I did enjoy the stories about Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama acting like two little kids together and their discussions. Other than that I found it hard to stay interested.

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E.A

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February 22, 2014

I love this book, it gives you so much respect for His holiness. He is such a inspirational compassionate person. This books is told by his friend and translator, about them 2 traveling together and what his experience with the dalai lama is like. Its so much more than that though, it definitely is a spiritual break through, and by the end of the book you will want to be a better person. I gave it 4 stars though because, there are some area where the dalai lama is talking and its kind of hard to understand him, but thats how he really speaks- its not a bad book , but more of a heads up to readers. :)

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Irene Chooi

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July 29, 2015

This is the book that started my obsession with the Dalai Lama. It's unfortunate that the author did not do too well in the fluency of his writing, but the essence of the Dalai Lama and what he stands for can clearly be felt. The author also introduces too many characters in a way that makes it difficult to remember and keep track of them. But that still does not detract from the sheer awesomeness of the book. Read it.

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Sabine

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May 27, 2013

This, just as the first book by this author (Wisdom of Forgiveness) is breathtaking, you can feel the warmth and authenticity of the Dalai Lama as if he were there in front of you. The stories told on the various humanitarian projects are amazing, motivating and also very humbling and made you truly think about your own life. Definitely a must read for any human being!

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Patti Mason

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March 7, 2014

It is always good to hear what the Dalai Lama has to say. The message comes through as a heartbeat on all the pages. A warm-hearted attitude will provide the happiest life. Women have a special obligation to promote it, and we all need to focus especially on children.

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======

Summer

June 16, 2013

Plus:

Profound and thought provoking teachings and philosophies, exciting and fascinating characters (Tutu, catholic and protestant religious leaders from north Ireland, Murray Gell-Mann, Sir Ken Robinson, Eckhart Tolle, Aaron Beck, Sir Fazle Hasn Abed, the founder of BRAC, the Bangladesh Rural Advancement Committee, and many etc.). At one point I burst into tears over a speech from the African bishop Tutu.

Minus:

The writing is at times boring and tedious in spite of the excitement of the events and people. Puzzling behaviors of the Dalai Lama.

Excerpts:

1. Major causes of suffering are overinflated egos, heightened sense of our own importance, our selfish needs... our over attachment for our wants, our needs. Therefore, any change of perception that leads to a more balanced view of our ego and the world around us is helpful to our mental well-being.

2. We get the angriest with those we love the most, because we expect too much from them.

3. Differences always there. Even with myself, morning one idea, evening another idea. Conflicts always there. Everybody wants happy life, safe life... Try to make peace with more patience... Do u think some sense? If make sense, then pls implement.

4. We pursue short-lived pleasures instead of meaningful happiness... For the Dalai Lama, The only way to achieve sustained well-being and inner-peace is through the cultivation of altruism, through the cultivation of love and compassion.

5. There is a gap between reality and appearance... With the old way of thinking, we try to deal with new problems. But reality has changed and the method of dealing with it is old-fashioned. Reality is always changing.

6. Some kinds of compassion are tinged with attachment. It changes with circumstances. Unbiased compassion, however, is based on the realization that others, even our enemies, have the right to be happy and avoid suffering, just as much as we do.

7. Through training of mind, using intelligence. I understand the value of compassion. I realized the harmfulness of anger, hatred. Use education to train your mind. With practice, my own experience deepen. More unbiased compassion brings me inner peace. Result, better physical health.

8. Love grows brain and brain grows love.

9. Tutu: The glory of God is mind blowing. He can sit and not intervene because he has such an incredible, incredible reverence for our autonomy. He is prepared to let me go to hell. Freely. Rather than compel me to go to heaven.

He weeps when he sees us do the things that we do to each other... God says, I can't force u, i beg u, please for your own sake, make the right choice. I beg u.

When you do the right thing, god forgets about God's divine dignity and he rushes and embraces you, "You came back, you came back. I love you. oh how wonderful you Came back." (Here is where I cried...)

10. Tutu: religion is a morally neutral thing. It is what you do with it. It is like a knife, a knife is good when you're using it for cutting up bread for sandwiches. A knife is bad when you stick it in somebody's gut.

I would not have survived without the faith of knowing that this is God's world and that God is in charge, that evil is not going to prevail despite all appearances to the contrary... Sometimes you want to whisper in God's ear... "we know that you're in charge, but why don't you make this more obvious?"

11. When somebody is sick, there is external medicine and there is internal medicine.

12. The higher beings develop higher energy because of their practice of altruism. The ultimate source of energy is altruism. This energy is always ready, like electricity, we just need to be receptive.

13. A rabbi: We have to do what we can do. Then god helps... If we don't take the initiative, we cannot accept the power.

14. When negative emotions(e.g. Anger) develop, ur whole self becomes like that emotion. So when this strong emotion develops, try to separate urself from that emotion. Then can watch that emotion. Then much easier to see the faults of that emotion. Look from distance and that emotion's intensity weaken.

15. CBT cognitive behavior therapy: for Beck (Aaron T. Beck wrote "Prisoners of Hate"), the driving forces of our psychological malaise are ideas that are unrealistic and self-defeating. He called them "automatic thoughts." Like tinted lenses, they can color and warp people's perceptions and affect their reactions.

16. Beck: we have to be good people, not right people (Not thinking we are right, ur wrong, etc.)

17. CBT is similar to analytic meditation. When emotion comes, use analytic meditation to not let it dominate or influence. But rather analyze its consequences, its benefits, its destructiveness.

18. Get away from selfishness, de-centering; switching, exchanging oneself for others. Group self-centeredness

19. Once afflictive emotion develop, then u can't see the reality. Strong mental projection. 90% of the time, the person who gets angry is wrong.

Beck: when I get angry, I first think that I'm wrong, not from a moral standpoint but from a reality standpoint... My reality is wrong (gap btw truth and appearance)

20. Addiction, being caught up in desire is like drinking salt water. The more u drink, the more u get thirsty.

21. Vernedoe pointed out that in modern art, u don't play by the rules, u play with the rules, and that's an aspect of creative thinking.

22. The Dalai Lama has always attached great importance to developing a realistic approach to life, to our interaction with others around us. He thinks that seeing reality accurately and unflinchingly contributes to our sense of well-being. It's a helpful antidote to distorted thinking.

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Sundarraj Kaushik

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April 15, 2019

It is interesting to contrast this book with https://www.goodreads.com/review/show.... 

Both of the are about spiritual leaders who are doing good for the people. There is no doubt about it. Both have been written by authors who are in awe of the leader that they have written about. But the one by Namrita and Francois Gautier is a pure panegyric on Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, whereas while it is adulatory, it provides concrete examples of discussions of Dalai Lama with various personalities and the adulation is based on these unlike the one on Sri Sri Ravishankar where it just goes on an on how the organizations setup by Ravi Shankar have done this here and done that there.

The surprise about the book is that the author is a Chinese, well not exactly from mainland China but from Hong Kong, probably that explains. The author is a follows Dalai Lama's activities closely when he is not organizing a meeting between the spiritual leader and other towering personnel who are either intellectuals or are out helping people in need.

Of the various meetings that are related in the book some of them are with Ken Robinson, Archbishop Desmond Tutu a neuroscientist from the University of Wisconsin, Richard Davidson, Aaron Beck, interactions with University students in Canada, Sanjit Roy from India who has setup a Barefoot College to educate and empower the poor in the rural India.

In a very interesting conversation between the Dalai Lama and Aaron Beck has Beck stating this "I think, I have been wronged; you did wrong to me. So I have to examine: Did you really wrong me? You may not have, I may have misunderstood what you did, so we have to analyze. And then the second thing is: Even if you did wrong, does that make you a bad person? And, if you are a bad person, do I have to kill you, do I have to punish you! So that is the whole sequence". Profound is the apt word.

Another snippet that stuck in my mind is from the chapter on Matthieu Ricard who was a personal attendant of Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche, one of the foremost meditation masters of Tibetan Buddhism and the tutor of Dalai Lama. In meeting arranged by the author and Matthieu in Delhi with a group of humanitarians in Delhi the following is stated by the Dalai Lama. The Dalai Lama states "My approach: Today's reality is whole world just one body. Everything is a part of me. Understanding this helps reduce negative emotions. Hatred comes because we don't appreciate interdependence. We cause harm, sometimes unintentionally, because we are greedy for money, power. We think these things will make us happy. This is a misunderstanding. Real happiness comes from peace of mind. The only way to obtain is to be altruistic, be compassionate". The author interprets this as "We need to actively help others and we should do t with a genuine sense of compassion, not pity. At a minimum, we should not harm others. Not harming others is a logical extension of idea of interdependence. Since everything is a part of us, harming others would hurt ourselves". He then quotes the following commentary "A human being is part of a whole, called by us 'Universe', a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest - a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty." While it appears to be a commentary by Dalai Lama, it is a quote by Albert Einstein in 1954.

A wonderfully written book. Do Read

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Anna

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September 28, 2013

I love the message of the Dalai Lama and therefore, this book: "If you want others to be happy, practice compassion; if you want to be happy, practice compassion." It also amuses me that the author asks himself the question in everyday life "What would the Dalai Lama do?" I suspect the answer isn't much different when answering the "What would Jesus do" question.

Author Victor Chan (obviously a fan) describes the Dalai Lama as attuned to human suffering, always aware of his surroundings, having an always active compassion radar and emanating goodness. I love the comment that the Dalai Lama notices that Chan can't sit cross-legged for long and gets him a chair. (I guess I love that because I can't do it either.) The Dalai Lama sees himself as a simple Buddhist monk without special powers and only a limited ability to help. He looks at things from multiple perspectives fostering a sense of care and mindfulness in thinking and interacting. Apparently, he is also something of a joker - Desmond Tutu playfully chastises him for behaving like a naughty schoolboy rather than a holy man! And he shares dirty jokes with his brother! Really?!

According to Chan, the Dalai Lama is a great believer in empiricism and scientific method. I hope this is true. I also hope that the studies that show that more compassionate people have better health; do better in school if they learn empathy, altruism and compassion; and altruism is the clearest way to genuine life satisfaction. I would certainly like these things to be (scientifically) true. Chan and the Dalai Lama are also big believers in meditation practice triggering compassion. I'm going to have to work on my compassion without meditation because I just have no interest!

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Dan Gorman

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July 31, 2013

This isn't going to break any new ground, since the Dalai Lama has been writing for decades, and his teachings are many thousands of years old. The book's jacket is a bit deceptive, too - the primary author here is Victor Chan, the Dalai Lama's co-writer. Chan recounts recent public lectures given by the Dalai Lama in recent years and summarizes important contextual information; His Holiness figures substantially in the dialogue portions of the book. My best guess is that the Dalai Lama selected the particular incidents to discuss, proofed the transcripts of his speeches & descriptions of his moods at different times, and then Chan filled in the rest. Still, it's a fun book to read, and the Dalai Lama's Buddhist teachings should be of interest to both Buddhists and non-Buddhists. Chan is an engaging, earnest writer. Of course, this book is hagiography, but since the subject certainly deserves hagiography, it's OK. A worthwhile read that may make readers seek out more material co-authored by the Dalai Lama.

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