가정폭력(家庭暴力, 영어: domestic violence (DV), domestic abuse, spousal abuse, intimate partner violence, battering, family violence)은 부모, 배우자, 자식, 형제자매, 친척, 사실혼 관계에 있는 사람 등을 대상으로 행해지는 폭력과 가족 구성원이나 근친자에게 행하는 폭력적인 행위 또는 폭력에 의해 지배하는 행위 전반을 일컫는다.[1]
언론은 가정폭력에 대해 선정적으로 다루고 왜곡되고 잘못된 표현을 사용하는 경향이 있는데, 이는 가정폭력 문제의 심각성을 배제시키고, 그 성격을 사소한 부부싸움으로 만들어 가정폭력 문제를 개인 간의 문제로 축소시키는 효과를 가져온다. 가정폭력은 개인 간의 사소한 문제가 아니라, 피해자의 생명을 위협할 정도로 심각한 사회적 범죄 행위이고, 사회가 그 원인을 제공하고 있음을 지각해서, 언론은 가정폭력 피해의 심각성을 다양한 각도로 조명하며 대안을 함께 모색해야 한다. 가정폭력에 대한 우리 사회의 인식을 환기시키고 변화시키는 데 언론이 한 부분을 담당해야 한다.
대한민국에서는 상습적으로 가정폭력에 시달리다 남편을 살해한 여성에 대해 법원이 2005년에 처음으로 <외상 후 스트레스 장애>로 인한 심신미약을 인정했다. 하지만 청주교도소에 수감 중인 남편을 살해한 아내들의 30% 정도가 무기징역을 선고받았다. 정당방위를 인정하지 않는 것은 남편 살인이 대부분 피해자가 쉬고 있는 중이거나 자고 있을 때 일어나기 때문이다. '그래도 어떻게 사람을 죽이냐', '경찰에 도움을 청해보지', '차라리 이혼을 하지' 등 다른 방법이 있었을 텐데 어떻게 사람을 죽이냐는 것이 정당방위를 인정하지 않는 측의 논리이다.[6]
2019년 여성가족부 가정폭력 실태조사 통계 에 따르면 지난 1년간 배우자에 의한 가정폭력 전체비율 8.3%, 여성 배우자에 의한 남성 배우자 피해는 6.3%, 남성 배우자에 의한 여성 배우자의 피해는 10.3% 로 집계되었다. 조사 전체대상수는 9060명으로 여성이 6002명, 남성이 3058명이다. 여성 조사 숫자가 남성에 무려 2배에 달한다. 그럼에도 가정폭력 비율이 남성 피해자가 결코 적지 않은 점을 주목해야 한다. 위 자료는 여성가족부에 의해서 여성이 주된 피해자라는 식의 통계자료임에도(구글링 자료) 남성 피해자의 숫자가 적지 않다는 점으로 미루어보아 수면 위로 드러나지 않은 실제 남성 피해자 수는 이보다 더 높을 것으로 추측할 수 있다.
2012년4월 27일, 한국여성의 전화 교육조직팀 소속의 김홍미리는 대한민국 법원의 문제점을 지적하였는데, "한국여성의 전화는 지속적으로 아내들의 남편 살해는 생존을 위한 정당방위라 주장해왔지만 재판부는 정당방위는커녕 '계획적 살인'이라며 가중처벌해 왔다(아내를 폭행하다 살해한 남편의 '죽일 생각은 없었다'는 주장이 재판부에 적극 수용되어 감형되는 것과는 상반된다). 정당방위가 성립하려면 지금 당장 상대를 죽이지 않고서는 내가 죽을 것 같은 상당한 정도의 위협이 존재해야 한다는 것이다. 1990년캐나다 대법원의 판결은 '제3자의 관점에서는 남편의 공격이 임박한 것이 아니라고 할지라도, 폭력 피해 여성의 입장에서는 자신이 죽음 또는 심각한 신체 상해에 직면해 있다는 인식이 보다 합리적일 수 있음'을 인정했다. 아내들의 남편 살해는 구조의 가능성이 없는 상황에서 아내들이 선택한 마지막 자기방어였다. 한국 법원은 이들에게 경찰에 신고하지 그랬느냐, 주변에 도움을 요청하지 그랬느냐, 꼭 죽여야만 했느냐고 묻는다. 유일한 대안이었냐는 뒤늦은 물음이다. 이 물음의 대답은 독일 재판부의 말로 대신할 수 있겠다. '타인이나 국가 기관의 긴급구조는 정당방위 상황에서 곧바로 활용 가능한 것이어야지, 그렇지 않은 경우까지 이웃이나 경찰 등의 일반적인 구조 가능성을 이유로 정당방위 성립을 부인할 수는 없다.' 피해 아내들의 남편 살해가 끊이지 않는 이유를 통찰하고 가정폭력 피해자의 합리성을 기준으로 하는 정당방위 판결을 내려야 할 때다"라고 설명하였다.[7]
전문가들은 가부장사회에서 학대받은 여성이 범죄 신고를 통해 국가의 도움을 받을 수 있다고 여기는 것은 비현실적이라고 지적했는데, 양현아서울대학교 법학전문대학원 교수는 한국여성의전화 주최로 2012년 5월 16일에 국가인권위원회 배움터에서 열린 <여성폭력 피해자의 사법정의 실현을 위한 토론회>에서 "가정폭력에 대한 사법절차, 시민의식이 작동하지 않는 상황에서 일어난 가해자 공격은 높은 수준으로 방어권을 보호해줘야 한다. 정당방위냐, 살인이냐의 이분법으로 보면 안 된다. 이들은 가정폭력 피해를 당하지 않은 사람의 감각과는 다른 '피해자 감각'을 갖고 있다. 피학대여성증후군이란 병적 증세에 국한시킬 것이 아니라 생존의 의지와 트라우마의 결합이란 관점에서 접근해야 한다"라고 말했다. 고미경 한국여성의전화 가정폭력상담소장은 "한 공간에 있는 가해 남성이 주는 위협은 늘 상존한다. 방어와 공포에 의한 반격행위는 정당하다. 피해 여성의 가정폭력을 수십 년간 방치한 국가를 상대로 손해배상청구소송을 검토할 필요가 있다. 또 신고를 받고도 제대로 처리하지 않은 경찰 시스템의 문제점을 밝혀내야 한다. 가정폭력전담수사부와 법률조력인제도를 도입하고, 전문심리위원제도를 명문화해야 한다"라고 말했다. 전문가들은 오랜 기간 학대를 받은 여성은 뇌에서 기능장애가 일어난다고 설명했는데, 이수정 경기대학교 범죄심리학과 교수는 "남편이 폭행을 가할 때 쓰던 가위나 혁대를 보여주면 두뇌 활성화 정도가 폭력 피해가 없는 사람과 다르게 나타난다. MRI 사진이 증거로 채택되는 것도 이 때문이다. 미국은 가정폭력 피해 여성의 위험 정도를 판단하는 전문 평가 도구들이 개발되어 재판 과정에서 활용되고 있다. 국내에서도 법정심리 분야에서 특화된 평가도구에 대한 수련 과정이 꼭 필요하다"라고 말했다.[6]
한국여성정책연구원에 따르면 가정폭력 피해자는 2009년 기준 368만 명이며 생명에 위협을 받는 여성은 50만 명에 달하는 것으로 조사되었다.[8]
2011년 5월, 대한민국에서의 가정폭력은 영국이나 일본보다 5배나 많은 것으로 나타났다. 가정폭력을 부부싸움의 연장선으로 가볍게 여기거나 배우자를 소유물로 생각하는 경우가 많기 때문이다. 가정폭력 피해자의 절반 가까이가 10년 넘게 가정폭력에 시달렸다고 호소했다. 하지만 이 가운데 7.9%만 별거나 이혼을 택했을 뿐 대부분은 그저 참고 사는 것으로 나타났다. 가정폭력 피해자인 데에는 그만한 이유가 있을 것이란 사회적 편견이 신고를 막는 걸림돌로 작용했다.[9]
2010년에 여성가족부가 전국 3800여 가구를 상대로 조사한 '전국 가정폭력 실태' 결과에 따르면, 부부폭력률은 53.8%에 달하지만 이 중에서 경찰에 도움을 요청한 경우는 8.3%에 불과했는데, 경찰 신고 후 경찰의 조치 내용을 보면 '출동은 했으나 집안일이니 서로 잘 해결하라며 돌아감(50.5%)', '집안일이니 둘이서 잘 해결하라며 출동하지 않음(17.7%)' 등으로 나타나 68.2%가 별다른 조치를 받지 못한 것으로 나타났다.[10] 이 조사에 따르면, 부부폭력 피해를 경험한 여성의 62.7%는 외부에 도움을 요청하지 않았는데, 폭력 피해자들이 경찰에 신고하지 않은 이유로는 '폭력이 심각하지 않다고 생각해서(29.1%)', '집안일이 알려지는 것이 창피해서(26.1%)', '배우자를 신고할 수 없어서(14.1%)', '자녀 때문에(10.9%)' 등의 순이었다.[11]
2012년4월 27일, 여성가족부는 '가정폭력 방지 및 피해자 보호 등에 관한 법률'이 개정되어 가해자가 문을 열어주지 않아도 경찰이 상황을 판단해 현장에 들어가 조사한 후 적절한 대처를 할 수 있게 되었다는 내용의 보도자료를 내었다.[12] 이 개정안에 따르면 가정폭력 사건 신고를 받고 현장에 출동한 경찰은 사건 현장에 출입하여 피해자의 안전을 확보하고 폭력 피해 상태 등을 조사하여 보다 적극적으로 응급조치를 취할 수 있게 되었는데, 2011년 12월 30일에 국회를 통과한 이 법은 5월 2일부터 시행된다. 여성가족부는 "경찰의 현장출입·조사권은 지난해 10월에 도입된 경찰의 긴급임시조치권과 법원의 피해자보호명령제와 함께 가정폭력에 대한 경찰의 개입이 한층 강화돼 피해자의 인권을 확보하고 사건 초기 피해자를 보호하는 데 크게 기여할 것이다"라고 말했다.[13]
대한민국에는 '부부 싸움은 칼로 물베기'라는 인식이 있어 가정폭력에 대한 대처가 미흡했다.[14] 가정폭력을 단순히 '집안일' 쯤으로 여기는 사회 풍토도 문제라는 목소리도 있다.[15] 피해자도 가정폭력을 '사적인 부부 싸움'으로 치부해 버리고 넘기는 경우가 많았다.[16]
가정폭력범은 학력이나 직업 등에 상관없이 폭력 행위를 저지르는 것으로 나타났다. 가정폭력에 시달리는 여성들은 공통적으로 "사회에서는 능력을 인정받고 도덕적으로도 흠이 없어 보이는 남편이 집에 돌아오면 주먹을 휘두르고 욕설을 퍼붓는 등 태도가 돌변한다"라고 말했다. 의사나 교수 등 소위 '전문직 엘리트 집단'에 속하는 남편들로부터 폭력을 당하는 아내들은 "가정폭력 사실이 외부로 알려질까봐 두려워 이러지도 저러지도 못한 채 산다"라고 말했다.[11]
경찰 또한 가정폭력을 '민사의 문제'로 취급하여 개입에 소극적인 경우가 많았다.[17][18] 하지만 가정폭력이 중요한 사회문제로 부각되면서 가정폭력이 사회적 '범죄 행위'라는 인식이 퍼졌고 이로 인해 가정폭력과 관련한 법이 개정되고 공권력의 개입도 점점 적극성을 띠게 되었다.[19][20][21]
가정폭력도 '폭력'이라는 생각이 경찰 내에서도 확고히 자리잡지 못해 2012년 4월에 경찰이 피해자의 신고를 받고도 '부부싸움' 운운하며 안일하게 대처하여 그 피해자가 납치범으로부터 납치범의 집에서 살해되는 사건이 발생했고, 이 사건을 계기로 경찰에 대한 '인권 의식 교육'이 강화되어야 하고 여성폭력에 대한 경찰 인식의 근본적 변화를 위해 경찰 구성원들의 감수성 정비가 우선되어야 한다는 목소리가 커졌다.[10]
2012년 9월 16일, 가정폭력과 관련하여 신고가 접수되어도 사법처리가 약하게 이뤄지기 때문에 가해자의 태도에 변화가 없고 오히려 보복심리 때문에 가정폭력이 더 심해진다는 조사 결과가 나왔다. 가해자의 폭력행동 변화에 대한 질문에 '폭력이 이전보다 늘었다'는 대답은 33%, '달라진 것이 없다'는 대답은 27%, '신체적 폭력은 줄었지만 언어적·정서적 폭력이 늘었다'는 대답은 22%로 나타났고, '가정폭력이 줄었다'는 대답은 18%에 불과해 가정폭력 후속 처리에 대해 논의할 시점이라는 주장이 제기되었다.[22]
한국여성의전화 김홍미리 활동가는 "가부장적 문화가 강하다 보니, '여자는 남자에게 복종해야 한다'라는 생각이 강한 남자일수록 쉽게 가정폭력을 일으킨다. 스트레스를 받은 상황에서 집에서 가장 만만한 사람에게 욕을 하거나 구타, 살인을 저지르는 등 분노를 표출하게 된다. 체면을 중시하는 분위기 탓에 외부에 폭력 사실을 알리기 꺼려하는 여성들이 많다. 가정폭력 피해자는, 폭력 피해자라는 사실은 부끄러운 일이 아니고 가정폭력은 반드시 처벌을 받아야 할 사회적 '범죄'라는 인식을 갖고 적극적으로 상담하고 경찰에 도움을 요청해야 한다"라고 말했다.[11]한양대학교 정신과 교수 남정현은 "(남편들이) 논쟁을 하다 화내는 게 아니고 스트레스가 조금씩 쌓였을 때 가정에 와서 폭력으로써 터뜨리는 거다. 그렇기 때문에 이분들은 주기적으로 폭력을 일으키는 거다"라고 말했다.
아동 학대도 가정폭력의 일종이며 가정폭력의 현장에는 아이들이 있는 경우가 있는데, 아이들에게 폭력을 보여주는 것도 가정폭력 피해자와 목격자인 아이 양쪽에 대한 학대이다. 아이들이 있는 가정에서 폭력 행위가 발생하는 경우에 약 70%의 가정에서 학대를 받는 어머니를 아이들이 목격하고, 그 중 30%의 아이들이 실제로 아버지 등으로부터 폭력 행위를 당하고 있다는 보고가 있었다.
2010년11월 24일, 한국가정법률상담소는 <성인지(性認知)적 관점에서 본 아동ㆍ청소년의 폭력문제와 정책>이라는 주제로 세미나를 열었고 가정폭력에 노출된 아이들은 결국 학교 폭력의 가해자가 된다는 연구 결과를 발표했다. 가정에서 형성된 폭력에 대한 인식이 사회 생활에도 그대로 적용된다는 결과였다.[23]
한국가정법률상담소에 따르면 2010년 7월 전국 초ㆍ중ㆍ고교생 998명을 대상으로 <폭력예방교육 실태 및 폭력에 대한 인식>을 조사한 결과, 응답자의 51%가 부모의 폭력을 목격했으며, 68%는 부모로부터 학대를 받은 경험이 있다고 답했다. 또 둘 중에 하나라도 경험한 사람은 전체 응답자의 76.6%였다. 즉 가정 내에서 한 가지 이상 폭력에 복합적으로 노출될 가능성이 크다는 것이었다. 특히 가정 내 폭력에 노출된 학생들이 교내 폭력에 가담할 가능성이 큰 것으로 조사됐다. 부모의 폭력을 목격한 학생들 중 학교 폭력 가해자는 응답자의 64%로, 피해자(54.8%)보다 비율이 높았다. 아동학대 경험자들 중에도 학교 폭력 가해자가 62.9%로 피해자(54.2%)보다 많았다. 이처럼 가정에서 폭력을 경험한 학생들이 학교에서도 폭력을 경험하기 쉬운 것은 이들의 우울이나 불안, 공격성 수준이 가정 내 폭력을 겪지 않은 학생들보다 높기 때문이다. 한국가정법률상담소가 2점 척도로 우울 및 불안 정도를 조사한 결과, 가정 내 폭력을 경험한 학생들의 평균값은 1.5로, 경험하지 않은 집단(1.2840)과 유의미한 차이를 보였다. 공격성 역시 가정폭력 경험이 있는 학생은 1.36으로, 그렇지 않은 집단(1.1493)보다 높았다. 가정폭력이 있었더라도 타인과의 소통, 신뢰감 형성 등을 통해 우울이나 불안, 공격성 등이 줄어드는 것으로 조사됐다.[23]
2011년 5월, 현대캐피탈은 "전문가들은 '문제는 성장기에 가정폭력을 목격한 아이들이 그렇지 않은 아이들에 비해 자라서 폭력 남편, 폭력 아빠가 될 가능성이 더 크다는 것이다. 현재의 가정뿐 아니라 미래의 가정까지 병들게 하는 가정폭력의 악순환을 끊기 위해서는 우리 사회가 가정폭력을 '범죄'로 규정하고 단호히 대응해야 한다'라고 지적했다"라고 알렸다.
Jung and the Alchemical Imagination illustrates the spiritual nature of Jungian psychology and the debt it owes to the tradition of esoteric religion. Unlike other books on Jung and alchemy which contain a psychological interpretation of alchemical material, this work uses alchemy to understand the three cornerstones of Jungian spirituality--the self, the transcendent function, and active imagination. Through the interpretation of alchemical imagery, Raff explains the nature of these three concepts and illustrates how together they form a new model of contemporary Western spirituality. This book is also unique in selecting alchemical texts for analysis that are relatively unknown and which, for the most part, have never been interpreted. In addition, he presents two new concepts--the ally and the psychoid realm. Through the addition of these ideas, and the new understanding that they offer, it is possible to apply alchemical imagery to transpsychic experience/ that is, to a world of spirits which may not be reduced to psychological concepts. By including this realm in the study of alchemy and Jungian thought, it is possible to gain insights into the nature of visionary and ecstatic experiences that form part of the path of individuation--the road to completion. (less)
Write a review Feb 09, 2009Rebecca rated it it was amazing This was an accidental purchase. I meant to get his Psychology and Alchemy through the "Collected Works" line but ended up receiving this one. I set it aside for several months figuring I'd get to it soon enough. Once I did, I was amazed and sorry that I did not read it right away. It was beautifully written in layman's terms and the imagery was incredible. Since I've read this and have subsequently started it again, my dreams have been incredible. If you are looking to spice up your meditation techniques and/or do dreamwork, this book is a wonderful mix of alchemy and depth psychology that really shakes up the unconscious and gets it moving.
Highly recommended but with a warning to those beginning, you might want to work on simple meditation techniques first, these images tend to be a bit weird/frightening if you're not used to them. (less) flag4 likes · Like · comment · see review
Aug 22, 2019Jimmy Ele rated it it was amazing Shelves: foundation My individual words cannot express the amount of important and relevant information contained within this book at least for my own personal growth. This is most definitely a foundational book for me.
Apr 18, 2019Gabrielle Jarrett rated it really liked it I have read another of Raff's books - The Practice of Ally Work. Both are on my re-read list. Alchemical Imagination is deep, directed, and verges on brilliant. Can I put into words what I have read? Not so much. Basically, the alchemy is the process we must go through (with awareness) to attain unity or conjunctio within ourselves. We wish to make the unconscious conscious, to unite our self (that deeper part of us) with our ego, which is our conscious CEO, in oreder to create our Philosopher's Stone - the elixir of life. I see the path, the alchemy, as a lifelong project to uncover and discover our inner figures, archetypes, and complexes in the unification process.
Raff suggests the alchemical process of using our imagination via active imagination to discover our disowned aspects in the rewarding journey to peace and stability. He presents active imagination in a readable and usable way. The history and meaning of alchemy is informative and well done. Not a readily accessible read, not a page turner, but the book was and is worth the challenge for me. (less) flag1 like · Like · 1 comment · see review
Mar 24, 2018Toran rated it it was ok Shelves: history I thought this would be more scholarly than theological. I was wrong. It is decent once you sort through all the preaching. Also an editor would probably be good as well. So much re-iteration it almost made me drop the book. flag1 like · Like · comment · see review
May 19, 2017Craig Werner rated it really liked it Shelves: dreamwork, psychology Definitely not a book for neophytes in the worlds Jung and/or Alchemy. Jung used alchemy as a constituting metaphor for his understanding of psychic processes, and his own writings (Psychology and Alchemy, Mysterium Coniunctis) tend to be extremely dense and cryptic (even by Jung's frequently dense, cryptic standards). Raff, who worked at Zurich with psychoanalysts who worked with Jung (Marie von Franz, who also wrote on Alchemy and psychology), does a very good job expressing the core of Jung's alchemical vision in reasonably accessible terms. He tracks the main stages of the alchemical process, which leads to a series of "coniunctios" in which seemingly conflicting aspects of the psyche are melted down and brought back together to create something new: an expanding (but not inflated) Self.
A good portion of the book is devoted to readings of key alchemical texts, with wonderful illustrations serving as touchstones.
If this is something you're interested in, this is a very good book. If not, it'll simply be baffling. (less) flagLike · comment · see review
Jul 03, 2020H.M. rated it it was amazing · review of another edition Shelves: spirituality, psychology A fabulous read, containing much-needed material for those interested in active imagination, or following related esoteric Western traditions and soul work (eg Henry Corbin, Tom Cheetham, James Hillman, Carl Jung, Gary Lachman, Patrick Harpur, Richard Tarnas, Peter Kingsley, Iain McGilchrist, Michael Meade, et al).
Especially useful background material for those of us who are interested in taking this further, working with the ally, which Jeffrey Raff and Linda Bonnington Vocatura set out in "Healing the Wounded God: Finding Your Personal Guide to Individuation and Beyond" and Raff presents as a practical course in "The Practice of Ally Work: Meeting and Partnering with Your Spirit Guide in the Imaginal World". (less) flagLike · comment · see review
May 08, 2022Ed Wojniak rated it really liked it I find it fascinating that this book in my opinion is a psychological treatment of the life of a Christian. How the author is explicit in equating the self with the resident Holy Spirit. Scriptures make scant reference to “working out your salvation.“ But Raff does an excellent job of clarifying the nature of that work in detail. One advantage of his approach is that it is bereft of theological language that might trip up a religiously disaffected individual. flagLike · comment · see review
Nov 11, 2018Tristan LeBlanc rated it it was ok This book has some interesting concepts that I'll have to spend more time thinking about. I think to enjoy the book more it would have benefitted me to have learned more about these topics before starting it - I picked it up because I was curious about Jung and alchemy, not because I know a lot about it. (less) flagLike · comment · see review
Jul 08, 2015Patrick Dugan rated it really liked it Shelves: 100-200-greatest "In this work I have emphasized the role of the inner figure and active imagination with such figures. There are certainly other ways in which spiritual experiences may be had, but there are few better than active imagination work for the Western individual. The teaching and study of active imagination states and practices is of the greatest importance in the world today, for in the imaginal realm, individuals find the images which lead them to the experience of human wholeness and divine incarnation, without endangering the role of the ego. Above all else, the ego must be preserved and strengthened if inner alchemy is practiced. The ego must give up its fantasies to be sure, but it must remain healthy and vital, or the self will never manifest. It is little short of magic that at a time when new frontiers are opening in the study of the imagination, the Jungian community seems bent on abandoning the inner world. At the moment when analysts must more than ever be psycho-pomp to souls in travail, the lure of the ordinary, the collective, and the clinical have become irresistible. Jungians, like all other people, wish to be accepted, but to be welcomed in a world gone mad is scant comfort indeed. Rather than turn our backs on the inner, rather than proclaim the demise of analysis, we must accept the challenge of deepening our own experience of the inner world so that we may truthfully present ourselves as guides to and teachers of the self. The work is by no means easy. It demands everything that we have, and sometimes more." (less) flagLike · comment · see review
Sep 10, 2010Cait Davis rated it really liked it I found this book pretty interesting and I appreciate the insight into a topic that isn't so commonly explored. However, it gets a little "out there" for me at times, and there are points where I feel that the author acts as if he's stating what Jung actually thought, when it appears more that he is stating an interpretation of what Jung thought. It's worth reading if you're interested in Alchemical ideas about life. ...more flagLike · comment · see review
May 19, 2011Kenzie rated it it was amazing Shelves: depth-psychology, alchemy This is the kind of book that sticks with you, and while I didn't like it so much at first (although I don't remember why), it has really grown on me. This book radically changed how I see the imagination, and it's a book that has connected me to all sorts of other beautiful ideas and ways of living. I will write a more detailed review at some point, but at least this is a start... (less) flagLike · comment · see review
Eric T
5.0 out of 5 stars A fabulous read
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 3 July 2020
Verified Purchase
A fabulous read, containing much-needed material for those interested in active imagination, or following related esoteric Western traditions and soul work (eg Henry Corbin, Tom Cheetham, James Hillman, Carl Jung, Gary Lachman, Patrick Harpur, Richard Tarnas, Peter Kingsley, Iain McGilchrist, Michael Meade, et al).
Especially useful background material for those of us who are interested in taking this further, working with the ally, which Jeffrey Raff and Linda Bonnington Vocatura set out in "Healing the Wounded God: Finding Your Personal Guide to Individuation and Beyond" and Raff presents as a practical course in "The Practice of Ally Work: Meeting and Partnering with Your Spirit Guide in the Imaginal World".
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Hypercube
5.0 out of 5 stars (Active) Imagination is more important than knowledge
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 21 November 2010
Verified Purchase
Dr Raff points to some insights known and also popularized by tai-chi and yoga practicioners, namely that the power of thought and imagination can improve and change your mental performance and greatly contribute to one's own well-being. Jung termed it active-imagination, and Mr Raff deffinitely presents it as a very interesting way of self-improvement the early Alchemists (greek, arabian and middle-age europeans)already knew and practiced.
The book is divided in 2 parts: the 1st and tougher devoted to theory on Jung's terms and concepts , sometimes amenized by the writer's or his clients' own study cases. The 2nd part is more hands-on for self-meditation on Alchemical engravings and discussions on their possible meaning.
Very good reading, but some knowledge on Jung, Jungian terms and his 'philosophy' is advisable.
The Science of How Our Minds and Our Bodies Converge in the Healing of Trauma
“When our senses become muffled, we no longer feel fully alive… If you have a comfortable connection with your inner sensations … you will feel in charge of your body, your feelings, and your self.”
BY MARIA POPOVA
“A purely disembodied human emotion is a nonentity,” William James asserted in his revolutionary 1884 theory of how our bodies affect our feelings. Two generations later, Rilke wrote in a beautiful letter of advice to a young woman: “I am not one of those who neglect the body in order to make of it a sacrificial offering for the soul, since my soul would thoroughly dislike being served in such a fashion.” And yet in the century since, we’ve made little progress on making sense — much less making use — of the inextricable dialogue between the physical body and the psychoemotional interior landscape we shorthand as “soul.”
Nowhere is this relationship more essential yet more endangered than in our healing from trauma, and no one has provided a more illuminating, sympathetic, and constructive approach to such healing than Boston-based Dutch psychiatrist and pioneering PTSD researcher Bessel van der Kolk. In The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma (public library), he explores “the extreme disconnection from the body that so many people with histories of trauma and neglect experience” and the most fertile paths to recovery by drawing on his own work and a wealth of other research in three main areas of study: neuroscience, which deals with how mental processes function within the brain; developmental psychopathology, concerned with how painful experiences impact the development of mind and brain; and interpersonal neurobiology, which examines how our own behavior affects the psychoemotional and neurobiological states of those close to us.
Trauma, Van der Kolk notes, affects not only those who have suffered it but also those who surround them and, especially, those who love them. He writes:
One does not have be a combat soldier, or visit a refugee camp in Syria or the Congo to encounter trauma. Trauma happens to us, our friends, our families, and our neighbors. Research by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has shown that one in five Americans was sexually molested as a child; one in four was beaten by a parent to the point of a mark being left on their body; and one in three couples engages in physical violence. A quarter of us grew up with alcoholic relatives, and one out of eight witnessed their mother being beaten or hit.
[…]
It takes tremendous energy to keep functioning while carrying the memory of terror, and the shame of utter weakness and vulnerability.
In trauma survivors, Van der Kolk notes, the parts of the brain that have evolved to monitor for danger remain overactivated and even the slightest sign of danger, real or misperceived, can trigger an acute stress response accompanied by intense unpleasant emotions and overwhelming sensations. Such posttraumatic reactions make it difficult for survivors to connect with other people, since closeness often triggers the sense of danger. And yet the very thing we come to most dread after experiencing trauma — close contact with other people — is also the thing we most need in order to regain psychoemotional solidity and begin healing. Van der Kolk writes:
Being able to feel safe with other people is probably the single most important aspect of mental health; safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives.
This, he points out, is why we’ve evolved a refined mechanism for detecting danger — we’re incredibly attuned to even the subtlest emotional shifts in those around us and, even if we don’t always heed these intuitive readings, we can read another person’s friendliness or hostility on the basis of such imperceptible cues as brow tension, lip curvature, and body angles. But one of the most pernicious effects of trauma is that it disrupts this ability to accurately read others, rendering the trauma survivor either less able to detect danger or more likely to misperceive danger where there is none.
Paradoxically, what normalizes and repairs our ability to read danger and safety correctly is human connection. Van der Kolk writes:
Social support is not the same as merely being in the presence of others. The critical issue is reciprocity: being truly heard and seen by the people around us, feeling that we are held in someone else’s mind and heart. For our physiology to calm down, heal, and grow we need a visceral feeling of safety. No doctor can write a prescription for friendship and love: These are complex and hard-earned capacities. You don’t need a history of trauma to feel self-conscious and even panicked at a party with strangers — but trauma can turn the whole world into a gathering of aliens.
Beginning to adequately address trauma requires a cultural shift away from the disease model on which twentieth-century psychology and psychiatry were built. (That model has seeded a number of cultural deformities, affecting everything from our longtime denial of the robust relationship between stress and physical illness to the way we make sense of our romantic failures.) Trauma and its psychological consequences, Van der Kolk argues, is not a mental disease but an adaptation. He writes:
The brain-disease model overlooks four fundamental truths: (1) our capacity to destroy one another is matched by our capacity to heal one another. Restoring relationships and community is central to restoring well-being; (2) language gives us the power to change ourselves and others by communicating our experiences, helping us to define what we know, and finding a common sense of meaning; (3) we have the ability to regulate our own physiology, including some of the so-called involuntary functions of the body and brain, through such basic activities as breathing, moving, and touching; and (4) we can change social conditions to create environments in which children and adults can feel safe and where they can thrive.
When we ignore these quintessential dimensions of humanity, we deprive people of ways to heal from trauma and restore their autonomy. Being a patient, rather than a participant in one’s healing process, separates suffering people from their community and alienates them from an inner sense of self.
The most essential aspect of healing, Van der Kolk asserts, is learning to fully inhabit that inner sense of self in all of its dimensions — not only emotional and psychological, but bodily — which are inseparable from one another. He explains:
The natural state of mammals is to be somewhat on guard. However, in order to feel emotionally close to another human being, our defensive system must temporarily shut down. In order to play, mate, and nurture our young, the brain needs to turn off its natural vigilance.
Many traumatized individuals are too hypervigilant to enjoy the ordinary pleasures that life has to offer, while others are too numb to absorb new experiences — or to be alert to signs of real danger.
[…]
Many people feel safe as long as they can limit their social contact to superficial conversations, but actual physical contact can trigger intense reactions. However … achieving any sort of deep intimacy — a close embrace, sleeping with a mate, and sex — requires allowing oneself to experience immobilization without fear. It is especially challenging for traumatized people to discern when they are actually safe and to be able to activate their defenses when they are in danger. This requires having experiences that can restore the sense of physical safety.
One place where our culture fails, Van der Kolk argues, is in integrating this physical aspect with the psychoemotional infrastructure of experience — a failure spanning from our clinical methods of treating trauma to our education system. (More than half a century ago, Aldous Huxley wrote beautifully about the need for an integrated mind-body system of education.) Education, Van der Kolk notes, tends to engage the cognitive capacities of the mind rather than the bodily-emotional engagement system, which makes for an ultimately incomplete model of human experience. In a sobering passage that should be etched onto the wall of every Department of Education the world over, he writes:
Despite the well-documented effects of anger, fear, and anxiety on the ability to reason, many programs continue to ignore the need to engage the safety system of the brain before trying to promote new ways of thinking. The last things that should be cut from school schedules are chorus, physical education, recess, and anything else involving movement, play, and joyful engagement. When children are oppositional, defensive, numbed out, or enraged, it’s also important to recognize that such “bad behavior” may repeat action patterns that were established to survive serious threats, even if they are intensely upsetting or off-putting.
With an eye to heartening counterpoints like a karate program for rape survivors and a theater program in Boston’s inner-city schools, he considers the reasons and the urgency for engaging the body in healing:
The body keeps the score: If the memory of trauma is encoded in the viscera, in heartbreaking and gut-wrenching emotions, in autoimmune disorders and skeletal/muscular problems, and if mind/brain/visceral communication is the royal road to emotion regulation, this demands a radical shift in our therapeutic assumptions.
Drawing on his work with patients who have survived a variety of traumatic experiences — from plane crashes to rape to torture — Van der Kolk considers the great challenge of those of us living with trauma:
When our senses become muffled, we no longer feel fully alive.
[…]
In response to the trauma itself, and in coping with the dread that persisted long afterward, these patients had learned to shut down the brain areas that transmit the visceral feelings and emotions that accompany and define terror. Yet in everyday life, those same brain areas are responsible for registering the entire range of emotions and sensations that form the foundation of our self-awareness, our sense of who we are. What we witnessed here was a tragic adaptation: In an effort to shut off terrifying sensations, they also deadened their capacity to feel fully alive.
Art by Oliver Jeffers from The Heart and the Bottle, a tender illustrated parable of what happens when we deny our difficult emotions
While this dissociation from the body is an adaptive response to trauma, the troublesome day-to-day anguish comes from the retriggering of this remembered response by stimuli that don’t remotely warrant it. Van der Kolk examines the interior machinery at play:
The elementary self system in the brain stem and limbic system is massively activated when people are faced with the threat of annihilation, which results in an overwhelming sense of fear and terror accompanied by intense physiological arousal. To people who are reliving a trauma, nothing makes sense; they are trapped in a life-or-death situation, a state of paralyzing fear or blind rage. Mind and body are constantly aroused, as if they are in imminent danger. They startle in response to the slightest noises and are frustrated by small irritations. Their sleep is chronically disturbed, and food often loses its sensual pleasures. This in turn can trigger desperate attempts to shut those feelings down by freezing and dissociation.
Agency starts with what scientists call interoception, our awareness of our subtle sensory, body-based feelings: the greater that awareness, the greater our potential to control our lives. Knowing what we feel is the first step to knowing why we feel that way. If we are aware of the constant changes in our inner and outer environment, we can mobilize to manage them.
But one of the most pernicious effects of trauma, Van der Kolk notes, is that it disrupts our ability to know what we feel — that is, to trust our gut feelings — and this mistrust makes us misperceive threat where there is none. This, in turn, creates an antagonistic relationship with our own bodies. He explains:
If you have a comfortable connection with your inner sensations — if you can trust them to give you accurate information — you will feel in charge of your body, your feelings, and your self.
However, traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from their selves.
The more people try to push away and ignore internal warning signs, the more likely they are to take over and leave them bewildered, confused, and ashamed. People who cannot comfortably notice what is going on inside become vulnerable to respond to any sensory shift either by shutting down or by going into a panic — they develop a fear of fear itself.
[…]
The experience of fear derives from primitive responses to threat where escape is thwarted in some way. People’s lives will be held hostage to fear until that visceral experience changes… Self-regulation depends on having a friendly relationship with your body. Without it you have to rely on external regulation — from medication, drugs like alcohol, constant reassurance, or compulsive compliance with the wishes of others.
In its extreme, this lack of internal regulation leads to retraumatizing experiences:
Because traumatized people often have trouble sensing what is going on in their bodies, they lack a nuanced response to frustration. They either react to stress by becoming “spaced out” or with excessive anger. Whatever their response, they often can’t tell what is upsetting them. This failure to be in touch with their bodies contributes to their well-documented lack of self-protection and high rates of revictimization and also to their remarkable difficulties feeling pleasure, sensuality, and having a sense of meaning.
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One step further down on the ladder to self-oblivion is depersonalization — losing your sense of yourself.
What, then, can we do to regain agency in our very selves? Pointing to decades of research with trauma survivors, Van der Kolk argues that it begins with befriending our bodies and their sensory interiority:
Trauma victims cannot recover until they become familiar with and befriend the sensations in their bodies. Being frightened means that you live in a body that is always on guard. Angry people live in angry bodies. The bodies of child-abuse victims are tense and defensive until they find a way to relax and feel safe. In order to change, people need to become aware of their sensations and the way that their bodies interact with the world around them. Physical self-awareness is the first step in releasing the tyranny of the past.
In a sentiment that calls to mind Schopenhauer’s porcupine dilemma, Van der Kolk writes:
The most natural way for human beings to calm themselves when they are upset is by clinging to another person. This means that patients who have been physically or sexually violated face a dilemma: They desperately crave touch while simultaneously being terrified of body contact. The mind needs to be reeducated to feel physical sensations, and the body needs to be helped to tolerate and enjoy the comforts of touch. Individuals who lack emotional awareness are able, with practice, to connect their physical sensations to psychological events. Then they can slowly reconnect with themselves.
How we respond to trauma, Van der Kolk asserts, is to a large extent conditioned by our formative relationships with our caretakers, whose task is to help us establish a secure base. Essential to this is the notion of attunement between parent and child, mediated by the body — those subtlest of physical interactions in which the caretaker mirrors and meets the baby’s needs, making the infant feel attended to and understood.
Attunement is the foundation of secure attachment, which is in turn the scaffolding of psychoemotional health later in life. Van der Kolk writes:
A secure attachment combined with the cultivation of competency builds an internal locus of control, the key factor in healthy coping throughout life. Securely attached children learn what makes them feel good; they discover what makes them (and others) feel bad, and they acquire a sense of agency: that their actions can change how they feel and how others respond. Securely attached kids learn the difference between situations they can control and situations where they need help. They learn that they can play an active role when faced with difficult situations. In contrast, children with histories of abuse and neglect learn that their terror, pleading, and crying do not register with their caregiver. Nothing they can do or say stops the beating or brings attention and help. In effect they’re being conditioned to give up when they face challenges later in life.
With an eye to the immensely influential work of psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott, who pioneered the study of attachment and the notion that attunement between mother and infant lays the foundation for the child’s sense of self later in life, Van der Kolk summarizes these foundational findings:
If a mother cannot meet her baby’s impulses and needs, “the baby learns to become the mother’s idea of what the baby is.” Having to discount its inner sensations, and trying to adjust to its caregiver’s needs, means the child perceives that “something is wrong” with the way it is. Children who lack physical attunement are vulnerable to shutting down the direct feedback from their bodies, the seat of pleasure, purpose, and direction.
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The need for attachment never lessens. Most human beings simply cannot tolerate being disengaged from others for any length of time. People who cannot connect through work, friendships, or family usually find other ways of bonding, as through illnesses, lawsuits, or family feuds. Anything is preferable to that godforsaken sense of irrelevance and alienation.
Although we can’t prevent most traumatic experiences from happening, having a solid formative foundation can make healing much easier. But what are those of us unblessed with secure attachment to do? Pointing to his mindfulness-based work with trauma survivors, Van der Kolk offers an assuring direction:
Nobody can “treat” a war, or abuse, rape, molestation, or any other horrendous event, for that matter; what has happened cannot be undone. But what can be dealt with are the imprints of the trauma on body, mind, and soul: the crushing sensations in your chest that you may label as anxiety or depression; the fear of losing control; always being on alert for danger or rejection; the self-loathing; the nightmares and flashbacks; the fog that keeps you from staying on task and from engaging fully in what you are doing; being unable to fully open your heart to another human being.
The crucial point is that trauma robs us of what Van der Kolk terms “self-leadership” — the sense of having agency over ourselves and being in charge of our own experience. The path to recovery is therefore paved with the active rebuilding of that sense. He writes:
The challenge of recovery is to reestablish ownership of your body and your mind — of your self. This means feeling free to know what you know and to feel what you feel without becoming overwhelmed, enraged, ashamed, or collapsed. For most people this involves (1) finding a way to become calm and focused, (2) learning to maintain that calm in response to images, thoughts, sounds, or physical sensations that remind you of the past, (3) finding a way to be fully alive in the present and engaged with the people around you, (4) not having to keep secrets from yourself, including secrets about the ways that you have managed to survive.
One of the paradoxical necessities of the recovery process is the need to revisit the trauma without becoming so overwhelmed by sensations as to be retraumatized. The way to accomplish this, Van der Kolk argues, is by learning to be present with these overwhelming emotions and their sensorial counterparts in the body. He writes:
Traumatized people live with seemingly unbearable sensations: They feel heartbroken and suffer from intolerable sensations in the pit of their stomach or tightness in their chest. Yet avoiding feeling these sensations in our bodies increases our vulnerability to being overwhelmed by them.
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Traumatized people are often afraid of feeling. It is not so much the perpetrators (who, hopefully, are no longer around to hurt them) but their own physical sensations that now are the enemy. Apprehension about being hijacked by uncomfortable sensations keeps the body frozen and the mind shut. Even though the trauma is a thing of the past, the emotional brain keeps generating sensations that make the sufferer feel scared and helpless. It’s not surprising that so many trauma survivors are compulsive eaters and drinkers, fear making love, and avoid many social activities: Their sensory world is largely off limits.
All of us, but especially children, need … confidence that others will know, affirm, and cherish us. Without that we can’t develop a sense of agency that will enable us to assert: “This is what I believe in; this is what I stand for; this is what I will devote myself to.” As long as we feel safely held in the hearts and minds of the people who love us, we will climb mountains and cross deserts and stay up all night to finish projects. Children and adults will do anything for people they trust and whose opinion they value. But if we feel abandoned, worthless, or invisible, nothing seems to matter. Fear destroys curiosity and playfulness. In order to have a healthy society we must raise children who can safely play and learn. There can be no growth without curiosity and no adaptability without being able to explore, through trial and error, who you are and what matters to you.
